If you love:

monster of the week

found families

boys being dumbass lovable boys

the main character actually being relatable and not secretly superhuman stomping her way into the world of magic cause she's just that stubborn and broke

healthy relationships

books that feel like a really good fanfic, not from tropes, but cause the author doesn't think they're better or smarter than you

that sweet, sweet canadian content

I am BEGGING you to read The Guild Codex books.

Shuffle Playlist - Rewrite - Part of Your World - part 13 - Safe and sound

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You woke up to Evie gently pushing at your shoulder Hey, we’re back” she whispered, carefully stepping over your legs and out of the limo, Carlos and Dude exiting just behind her. You groaned as you released Harry's hand and unwound your arm from around his shoulder, you cupped his cheek, and rubbed your thumb against it to wake him up.

Gil stretched and groaned as his back cracked, he looked down and poked Harry's forehead “Dude, come on wake up, we’re home” Harry slowly blinked awake, wincing in pain as he slowly sat up “Woah are you still hurting?”

“Sore” Harry muttered,  letting his head fall back on the seat as he tried to stretch out his legs “I think Mal's spell took away the main stuff but I gotta deal with the end healing shit”

“ouch,” you muttered, grabbing onto Harry's hands and tugging him out of the car “come on, let's get you a hot shower or something, you need to relax after the last two days, and plus you don’t smell all that good” Harry snorted at that and grabbed onto the door frame to lean on as he got out of the limo.

“yeh try being a nasty ass cell for two days with no bathroom” he joked, giving you a soft smile when you just looked at him. “sorry, yeh know that’s how I deal with stuff love” you rolled your eyes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“yeah yeah, come on” you intertwined your hand with Harry’s and walked after the others who were just a little ways ahead of you. Gil stepped to Harry’s other side and tossed his arm around his neck, not wanting to let go yet.

Lonnie walked off towards the school building, waving the group goodbye as she went to go put away the fencing swords.

“Ben! There you are!” Jane rushed up to Ben's side, holding her tablet in her arms “Cotillion is tomorrow!” she ushered him closer, showing him the stained-glass window design “This is your design for Mal's window, isn’t it beautiful she’s gonna love it!” Ben turned away from Jane and leaned close to Mal, whispering to her;

“Hey…should we cancel?” Mal looked up at him, if they suddenly canceled the day before the cotillion, the press would go wild, and Mal didn’t know how to deal with that.

She slightly shook her head, Jane saw their looks and attempted to backtrack for a bit to come back later. You smiled at Harry and walked up to Ben, tapping his shoulder to make him turn to you.

“Tomorrow is exactly six months since the vks came, just change what we're celebrating” you whispered, Mal and Ben, grinning at you as you said it.

“Actually…that's perfect” Ben muttered, turning back to Jane and nodding at her “Yeah, um, no it's fine…looks good.” he turned to Mal, nodding at her “Do whatever you need to do” she nodded back, watching him walk off with Jane.

Evie linked her arm with Mal’s and started to guide her to a private area “We need to talk” Evie muttered, Mal letting out a small sigh, she had already explained mostly everything on the isle, but there were still some things to be said.

“Yeah” Mal muttered back, the two girls stopped as Carlos stepped behind them.

“No.” Evie and Mal turned, their brows furrowed in confusion.

“No?” Evie asked, slightly appalled at Carlos’ random objection.

Carlos licked his lips, glancing at Jay before looking back at the girls “you guys are always going off in a huddle, whispering your…girl-talk stuff, or whatever…and Jay and I are tired of it!” Jay shook his head immediately, holding up his hands a bit.

“I’m not.” he shrugged as Carlos glared at him a bit. Carlos rolled his eyes and looked back at Mal and Evie.

“We’re you’re family too. We’ve been through a lot, together…and I’m not stopping that now, okay?” it was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Carlos, who watched Mal as she nodded in agreement. With her approval, Carlos looked to Jay and Evie “Everyone sit” he plopped down to the ground, looking up at everyone as they just raised their brows “Come on” as Jay, Evie, and Mal slowly sat down on the grass, Carlos turned, stopping you, Gil, and Harry in your tracks as you walked towards the dorms. “you too!”

You gestured to Harry, who was about two seconds from falling asleep again “I said everyone sit, this is a mandatory VK meeting” he yelled, smirking as Gil shrugged and helped Harry over to the circle, Harry sitting down next to Carlos as Gil plopped down next to Jay. You shuffled your feet awkwardly before Carlos turned back and nodded his head towards the circle “I said all of us, that includes honorary VKs” you gave a small smile and walked over, sitting down next to Harry and snorting a bit as he leaned into you, arm wrapping around your waist.

It was silent for a moment as everyone stared at each other awkwardly, before Carlos broke the silence again. “I don’t know how to start girl talk” you snorted, pressing your face into Harry’s side.

Jay pursed his lips, shrugging a bit “what up?” Evie laughed a bit, as Mal took a deep breath.

“Well…I’m a mess” she started, letting out a sigh as she started to pull grass from the ground “I’m such a fucking mess, like-six months ago I was stealing candy from babies and planning to take over the world and now-now everyone seems to want me to be this picture-perfect princess who never messes up and I’m just so stressed because it was such a sudden change and I've been freaking out for the last five months? And-and I broke up with Ben because I realized that I’m NOT ready for a relationship yet and-and it was moving so damn fast-and” Mal was speaking so quickly she hardly had time to take a breath. You finally decided to butt in, grabbing onto her moving hand.

“Woah woah woah, slow down Mal, take a long deep breath and hold it” Mal followed your instructions, taking a deep breath and holding it as you held your hand up. “Now let it go, slowly” as you lowered your hand, Mal followed with releasing her breath, her slightly glowing stressed eyes calming as her shoulders slumped “Better?”

She gave a watery smile and nodded, reaching up and rubbing at her eyes to rid of the stress tears “Yeah, thank you” you nodded, squeezing her hand before letting it go and leaning back against Harry.

“Now, Mal” she looked back up at you “ I’m going to give it to you straight, all of what you just ranted about? Your fault” Evie gasped, grabbing onto Mal's shoulders and attempting to rebuttal but Mal knocked her hands off and sighed.

“No Evie, I need to hear this, I’m not six years old needing to be given the happy dappy glitter version of everything” she looked back at you, nodding for you to continue.

You nodded back “Having to be ‘a perfect princess’? no one ever made you do that, that was all on your own. The fast relationship with Ben…okay that’s on both of you, yall NEVER talk about anything and in Auradon, it’s filled with people who get married after knowing each other for three hours, so it's on him for not asking you if you were okay with moving that fast and it's on you for not telling him you aren’t comfortable moving that fast.” Mal pressed her lips together and nodded, looking down at her hands that were clenched on her pants. “and good on you for breaking up with Ben” she looked back up with wide eyes “because in my world, yall “broke up” for like three hours before getting back together, into a toxic relationship might I add, so I’m proud of you for taking the mature step and breaking up with him…for what reason?” Mal shrugged.

“Mental stuff, it was going too fast and he kinda…doesn’t help with my…what did you call it?” you hummed and looked off for a moment.

“um, god complex?” she pointed at you and nodded.

“Yeah that, he doesn’t…try to call me out on anything, like-yes he got angry with me for using magic to cheat with my lady of the court stuff and I get why he got angry with me, but…he doesn’t call me out on the important stuff like….okay two months ago, I royally fucked up with Jane and I kinda…insulted her, I didn’t mean to but it slipped out and, Ben was right there and he did…nothing, no ‘Mal that was mean go apologize’ no ‘Mal think before you speak’ nothing, he just stood there and acted like I had done nothing wrong!” you clicked your tongue.

“He did that with Audrey too, she's more passive-aggressive on things and petty as all hell, and when she would, well, insult Jane for her hair, or Lonnie for preferring sports over mani-pedis, he acted like she didn’t say anything at all. That’s something he needs to work on, and I think he does that because of his parents.” The vks looked at you confused “Well look at them, Beast locked all the villains away on an isle and kept you all on there as if you had done something to the people in Auradon, when you didn’t you are all innocent kids just trying to survive, not once did Belle speak up against that, and that’s something she passed down to Ben, she ignores the red flags in someone because she loves him and in turn that encourages his behavior! That’s what Ben does with you and what he did with Audrey, you both have some nasty habits, Audrey’s passive-aggressiveness, and your lying tendencies.

He needs to see that what he has been taught is wrong, just like you’re learning what was wrong with your parent's teachings, you don’t need to lie or cheat your way through life, sometimes just being true to yourself and others gets you farther than anything else. Ben needs to learn that he doesn’t have to stand by and watch as everything else happens around him, he was able to break free of that before with bringing you six over but then…he lost it, and I don’t know what happened but he was so adamant of giving you guys a chance and was protective over you and then….I don’t know, he just…changed”

It was a few moments of tense silence as the VKs realized Ben had changed throughout the last couple of months.  You waved off your rand “Sorry, that got away from me there, but we can talk about it properly later, but Mal, no one forced you to change, no one, that was all you. And I know you were only thinking of being accepted by the people of Auradon but that wasn’t good, you don’t NEED to be accepted by everyone in the world, you don’t NEED to be liked by everyone, because there's always going to be a handful of people who don’t, and that’s okay. What's important now is that you find yourself and become a better person in turn, yeah?”

Mal took a shuddering breath and nodded, giving you a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah…thank you (y/n)” she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around you tightly “I needed that”

You patted her back “I’m always here to give it to you straight” Mal pulled back and rubbed her eyes.

“Well…this was dumb” Jay muttered, starting to stand when Evie stopped him.

“Maybe it wasn’t” she took Mal's hand, smiling at you for a moment before looking back at the vks “We’re always gonna be the kids from the isle…I tried to forget it…I really tried. But those are our roots, and I know you two, Harry and Gil” they perked up a bit, raising their brows “never tried to forget it like I did…or Mal did. But there's really nothing to be ashamed of for being from the isle, because it made us into who we are today, we’re villain kids, and that’s never going to change.” Harry, Gil, and Carlos gave her a look as if they were saying.

‘We were never trying to change it but okay?’ Evie waved her hand at them in dismissal.

“Point is, there is no reason we have to change for anybody because who we are right now, is great…because it’s us” Mal smiled at Evie and leaned into her side, squeezing her hand “and if they don’t like us for being isle kids….tough shit” you cackled at that.

“oohohoh! The princess swore! Not something you hear every day!” Evie rolled her eyes as the rest of the VKs laughed at your remark. She turned to Mal.

“I’m going to make some changes to your dress, and if you’re up for it, only if you’re up for it…it'll be waiting for you” Mal nodded, leaning into Evie as she wrapped her arms around Mal's shoulders and hugged her.

Evie looked at you and mouthed; ‘thank you’ you nodded back and stood, holding out your hand to Harry and helping him stand. The others stood moments later and started walking towards the dorms, Jay's arm tossed over Mal's shoulder as they walked side by side.

You sighed, turning to Harry with a smile “How bout a self-care afternoon huh?” Harry grinned at that and nodded, leaning into you as you took his hand again and walked back to the dorms.

“I’m starving, see you guys later!” Gil walked the opposite way of you, waving you goodbye as he walked over to the cafeteria.

“See ya Gil!” you yelled back, leaning your head on Harry’s shoulder as he moved his arm around your neck.

-

Carlos smirked as Jane rushed past him with a panicked look. “Jane!” he called, laughing a bit as the girl jumped and spun around to look at him.

“Carlos!” she rushed up to him and grabbed his shoulder “do you know where Gil is?!” Carlos snickered and pointed towards the cafeteria.

“yeah, he went to go get food, good luck!” Jane grinned at Carlos and spun on her heel, running towards the cafeteria, pulling out a small box and a sparkly blue envelope from her bag.

It was only one more day till cotillion! And she didn’t want to risk losing Gil to someone else asking him to it…and she didn’t want to ladle punch AGAIN.

“Gil!” he spun around, a small smile growing on his face as she got closer.

“Hey Jane what’s-woah!” she tripped on thin air and flew forward, Gil lunged forward, easily catching her and setting her back on her feet “Careful Jane! Don’t wanna hurt that pretty face of yours” Janes face burned at Gil's words “Sorry, slip of the tongue again heh” he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing back at the cafeteria “So um-what did you…oh!”

Jane looked to the ground and shoved the box and envelope towards Gil. he gently took them from her and opened the box first, humming at the Orange and Blue decorated cupcake that sat inside, he quickly pulled it out, handed the box back to Jane, and ate it. Smirking as Jane giggled at the dollop of orange buttercream on his nose.

He finished off the cupcake and wiped the dollop of blue edible sprinkle covered buttercream off his nose and licked it. He opened the letter and let out a small gasp.

Written on the letter, in Jane’s curly neat handwriting; was an invitation to him.

He slowly looked up from the letter, smiling a bit as he looked at her shy form, her hands covering her burning red cheeks. He folded the letter ad put it in his pocket, reaching out and gently grasping Jane's hands and pulling them off her face. He chuckled at her closed eyes and leaned forward, pecking her forehead. Jane squeaked and looked up at him, her entire face turning red as she stared at him. “You can take that as a Yes, I forgave you a while ago after you made me a cake after your…fiftieth, apology” he laughed “Well I forgave you before that but I realized I still liked you when you did that” Jane giggled, then stopped.

“You-you still like me?” she mumbled, covering her mouth as if she had spilled the world's biggest secret. Gil nodded, smiling as Jane squeaked again.

“I do, and I would be happy to go to cotillion with you…wait our outfits, what if they don’t match?!” he stood, running his fingers through his hair as his eyes blew wide. Jane laughed, reaching out and grabbing his hands.

“Okay okay! I have-I have a solution” she giggled for a moment at his confused yet relieved look “Evie has some ribbon leftover from my dress, you can wear it as a hair tie! And I-I’ll wear one of your bracelets!” Gil grinned, bouncing in place a bit.

“That sounds amazing! Yeah, let's do that” some passing students smiled and shook their heads at the excited maybe-once-again-couple and entered the cafeteria.

“and-and maybe if you don’t hate me again after all of this, maybe, maybe we can get back together?” Jane tried, squealing as Gil nodded and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“that would be amazing Jane” Gil hummed, rubbing the girl's arms and looking back at the cafeteria “um, food?” Jane clapped her hands, grabbing one of Gils and pulling him into the building.

“Yes! Food!”

-

You turned off the hot running water and stuck your hand into the bubbly hot bathwater, nodding to yourself. “Kay Harry, it's ready!” you shook your hand off and dried it on your pants, walking out of your pretty large bathroom and cooing as you walked out to see Harry curled up on your bed “okay I know you're tired but!”

you climbed onto the bed and gently shook his shoulder, pouting at him as he grumpily looked up at you “you need to take a bath, you stink, your dirty, and it'll help with the soreness” Harry let out a harsh breath, blowing your hair back a bit and sat up, undoing his shoes and letting them drop to the floor, tossing his jacket back at you and walking into the bathroom.

He closed the door and you heard the sound of clothing hit the floor as you gathered up his jacket and hung it in your closet. You walked back over to the bathroom and yelled through the door; “I’m gonna get some   comfy clothes for you okay?!” “Thank yeh love” he yelled back sleepily, you smiled as you heard the sound of water being splashed around. You kicked his fallen boots out of the way and went to his shared room with Gil. you let out a small sigh as you rummaged through his dresser and pulled out a soft long-sleeved shirt with a compass stitch on the chest, black sweatpants, a pair of boxer briefs, deciding to grab a pair of his socks as well before shutting the drawers and walking back to your room.

You knocked on the bathroom door and pushed it open, peeking around the corner to see harry almost completely in the water, only his head to be seen above the bubbles. His bright blue eyes staring straight at you. You lifted up the pile of clothes “got you a change of clothes, they will be on the counter for you when you’re ready” you set the pile on the counter opposite of the bath and turned to walk out of the bathroom to give him some privacy when he whined and reached out to you. You turned with an exasperated laugh “I swear you were a cat with separation anxiety in your past life or something” you snorted, walking over to the bathtub and crouching down next to it, your eyes level with Harry’s now. “Not that it’s a bad thing though.”

He hung his arm over the edge of the tub, making a grabby hand at you and grinning sleepily when you intertwined your fingers with his. You rested your chin on the edge of the bathtub and closed your eyes, just enjoying the peace that you finally had with Harry after a crazy two days of him being missing.

Wait- you perked up, looking down at the water and smirking as the water was no longer clear, but blue and shimmery and smelling of lavender, ocean salt, and a slight hint of vanilla. “You used my bath bombs didn’t you~” you teased, lifting up Harry's hand and pressing your lips to the back of it. He gave a shy smile and shrugged.

“It looked nice” he mumbled, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of the tub.

“Well, it's fine, go crazy with my shit, anything to help you relax” you sat up and pressed a kiss to his forehead “You deserve some pampering after the days you’ve had” he hummed with a dopey smile on his face, cracking his eyes open as you stood and walked away. As he whined, you turned, smiling as he pouted at you. “I’ll be just outside the door baby” he turned red at the pet name and turned away from you. You chuckled and closed the door most of the way “I’ll leave the door open, yell if you need anything.”

“Kay” was his only response, you snorted a bit and turned, putting your hands on your hips as you overlooked your room…time to do a little R&R redecorating.

First, hang fairy lights above your bed, next, get some big ass blankets and sheets…there should be some extras in the back of your closet.

-

Half an hour after he got in the bath, Harry narrowed his eyes at the large grey basket slightly hidden in the nook below your bathroom counter. You did say he could use any of your stuff. He pulled at the box, smiling a bit at the array of self-care items, ranging from simple face wash to charcoal foam face masks and the little paddles that allowed easy appliance.

He ran his hand through his freshly shampooed hair, which smelled like (fav shampoo/conditioner), and the waft of your (fav body wash smell) body wash floating up, making him inhale your sent with a smile.

He let out a little sigh and rummaged through the basket, brow-raising as he spotted an exfoliating mud mask. He pulled out the small container it was in and nodded, it would do. He grabbed a small bottle of face moisturizer and stood, walking to the door and pulling it open, mouth dropping open at what he saw.

The curtains to your room were closed, shutting it in near darkness, the only light being the soft yellow fairy lights that hung just above your bed, hidden from the rest of the room by large sheets and blankets laying across the bedposts and pinned to the walls.

“Wow,” he muttered, walking into the room and setting the cosmetics on the bed, sitting down and smiling up at the soft lights.

“Like it?” he nodded as you re-entered the room and set your now full bag next to him, he looked down at the bag, tilting his head curiously “I got some snacks that I didn’t have in my room” you pulled out a bag of popped popcorn and handed him the bag, he carefully opened it as you got out more snacks and set them on the bed “So I was thinking, movie cuddle afternoon, and then…I was thinking I could paint your nails?” you suggested, squealing a bit in happiness as Harry grinned at you and nodded “really?” “Aye, sounds fun, what color?” he stuck a handful of popcorn in his mouth and looked at you, smiling as you flicked off stray corn from his lip.

“Black to red ombre, then-your hair is still wet” you sighed, turning to walk back into the bathroom and grab a dry towel. You walked back up to harry and motioned for him to lean towards you, he obeyed and you ruffled the towel in his hair, biting your lip as it already started to floof up. “Actually” you stopped, throwing the towel around his neck and turning back to the bathroom “Better idea”

Harry bobbed his head a bit, listening to the non-existent music in his head as you did whatever in the bathroom. His eyes dropped a bit as he reached next to him and grabbed the box of fruit snacks.

“There we go” he perked up a bit as you suddenly appeared beside him with a hairdryer “Stand up” Harry looked at you with squinted eyes as you plugged the device into the socket next to your bed, eyes following you as you moved to stand in front of him “…Alright then” you stepped up on the bed next to him and plopped down behind him, grabbing his shoulder and guiding him to lean into you.

He happily did so and almost purred as you started to dry his hair, your fingers rubbing comfortingly at his scalp. Five minutes later and Harry was almost asleep, heavily leaning into your hand as you gently guided it around to dry his hair properly. As you felt the warm dry fluffy hair, you nodded to yourself and turned off the hair drier, setting it next to you and letting your hands run through Harry's hair.

He groaned a bit and fell back, cheek resting against your collar bone as you scratched his head. Harry suddenly jumped as a knock suddenly sounded on your door. You gently lifted him out of your lap and let him flop back on the blankets.

You walked over to the door and opened it “Oh!” you stepped outside and closed the door behind you “Fergus! What’s up?”

He furrowed his brows, looking down at your outfit. You glanced down, wincing a bit “That…outfit aside. Ah haven't seen ye or Harry fur a'maist twa days, is everything okay?” you pursed your lips in thought, before sighing.

“Mal went back to the isle and Harry went with her” you held up your hand to stop him from interrupting “Both of them are back now and Harry went through some shit when he was there, right now we're both just relaxing until tomorrow…okay?” Fergus glanced back up at your door and slowly nodded.

“Harry...he's okay sricht?” you paused, Fergus’s eyes widened for a moment “Ye hesitated” he pointed out, gritting his teeth anxiously as you waved him off.

“I did…Harry’s dad is a piece of shit that’s all I’ll say, if you need to know anything else, either ask Harry or ask me to get permission from him, I won't just blab away about what happened” Fergus nodded, reaching up and patting your shoulder.

“A'richt then... I’ll see ye twa efter okay?” you smiled at him and patted his arm, turning to walk back into your room.

“See you later” you opened the door and stepped inside, shutting the door with your foot. You looked down at your outfit and sighed, you were still in full isle gear, minus the hook and sword. You shrugged off Harry’s jacket and tossed it on your desk chair.

You walked over to your dresser and grabbed one of Harry’s black long sleeves that you had commandeered from him a few weeks back and a pair of black sweats.

You walked over to the bathroom, cooing at Harry already curled up in your large red fluffy blanket, tufts of dark brown-black hair peeking out from the top and light snores reaching your ears.

You walked into the bathroom and quickly changed, you walked back out and placed your boots next to Harry’s, and chucked your old set of clothes into your laundry.

You cleaned up the scattered snacks on the bed and set them on your table set by your tv. You grabbed the cosmetics Harry had put on your bed and walked over to the side he was mostly laying on, shaking his shoulder a bit. He grumbled and popped his head out of the folds of the blanket, sleepy ocean blue staring into you “Don’t you want to do the face stuff?” he slowly nodded as his mind caught up to your words and sat up, the blanket falling around his hips. He patted his cheeks to wake himself a bit and grabbed the items from you, spreading the mud mask on his face as you turned on the tv and went through your movies.

“So, what are we watching” you asked, tilting your head towards Harry a bit, wanting to hear what his maybe request would be.

“Um, Ah dinnae know...something lighthearted?” he tried, his accent slipping deeper than usual. You giggled a bit, poor baby, so tired.

“Um, how bout…Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead man's chest?” Harry almost snapped awake at that, he grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, it's not light-hearted buts it a hella good movie”

You put in the blue-ray disc and walked back over to the bathroom, taking out your black and red nail polish, along with the top and bottom coats. “Alright scooch forward” Harry did so, eyes locked onto the Tv. You sat behind him, legs on either side of his torso, and grabbed onto his shoulder, pulling him towards your chest, his head resting just beneath your chin. “Hand please” he lifted his right hand, letting you grab onto it and start painting his nails.

The next twenty minutes of you painting his nails and him watching the movie were silent and calming, you felt Harry almost drift off multiple times before snapping back awake when someone spoke or action exploded on the screen. You cursed as you had forgotten the hardening nail UV light thing to let Harry move his hands without worrying about ruining the polish. You patted his shoulder, making him whine again as your warmth disappeared from his back. You returned moments later, resuming the position you had and hardening the polish on his nails.

You glanced at his face, admiring the flutter of his lashes as he fought off sleep, before the mud mask caught your eye “shit!” you once more got off the bed, laughing a bit at Harry's loud complaint as you got a washcloth wet “your mask dummy!” he shut up, scooching towards you as you walked toward him with the wet and warm cloth.

He grabbed it from you and cleaned off the mask, stopping a bit as you opened the bottle of moisturizer and dolloped some on your finger. He dried his face with his sleeve and hummed as you dabbed it on his face and rubbed it into his skin for him “Ta loue” he murmured, you gave him a look and snorted.

“um, English please?” you laughed, pecking his nose and moisturizing your face before putting away the cosmetics.

Harry pouted and shook his head “Thank yeh love” he murmured again, smiling sleepily as you grinned at him.

“You’re welcome baby” you grinned as his face turned pink again. “Come on, how does falling asleep to Pirates of the Caribbean sound?” Harry grinned, tightening his grip on your fluffy red blanked and waiting for you to lay down on the bed before flopping on your chest and nuzzling into your neck.

You felt Harry’s soft breath on your neck as his body relaxed, you closed your eyes, reaching up and placing your hand on the back of his neck, rubbing your thumb as you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“A loue ye (y/n)” a soft whisper brushed against your senses, only able to be heard because your ear was right next to his mouth.

You felt a tear slip down your cheek and you wrapped your other arm around his shoulder and held him tighter.

“I love you too Harry”

-end of part 13-

aaand part 13! and we are officially back in Auradon! Mal gets a talking to, Bens weird passiveness is “explained” (and soon to be “fixed”) Jane asked out Gil and he said yes~ and some harry n (y/n) fluff! thanks to @sephiralorange​ for giving me the self care idea n Harry using (y/n) products~!. yes i made the art, i couldn't help myself! next chapter! the last stretch to Cotillion! and to answer anyone's possible question about what happened to Davy? lets just say there's Davy wont be doing anything with his left hand for....well never lol.

hopefully that rewritten vk “girl” talk made sense, but i do want to say if it does sound like im ragging on Ben, i wasn't trying to, i was just trying to possibly explain why he acts like he does in D2 and beyond. also i love Audrey as a character but she's kinda nasty lol 

anyway! permtaglist!

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012​ @daughter-of-the-stars11​

@musicarose​ @random-thoughts-003​

@remembered-license​ @imtryingthisout​

@verboetoperee​ @rintheemolion​ @thecaptainsgingersnap​

@descendantsobsessed​ 

taglist

@thesailbells​ @beccad10x​

Crack One shot

Soulmates were real, but there was no universal type of bond. The only agreed upon fact was that everyone only had one soulmate, and that was whatever that person needed most in life. If what they needed most was a romantic partner, their soulmate would be romantic. If they needed family or a lifelong friend more, then that would be the bond they would have. It could show up in any way, some more common than others but many unique to that pair or trio of soul bonded individuals.

Marinette had arrived in Gotham last week. She had won the Wayne Enterprises International Scholastic Competition for her and her class, the reward for which included a month long trip to Gotham. Three of those weeks would be spent in Gotham Academy during the week, with the weekends spent in personalized internships with Wayne Enterprises employees.

Except Marinette, who as the winner of the competition, got her internship with Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake themselves.

And after finding out that Robin was her romantic soulmate on her first night in Gotham? She was really hoping this internship would go smoothly without any life altering discoveries.

Someone needed to flick Tikki for not giving her enough good luck though, because that did not happen.

Marinette thought stumbling through her and Robin’s game-styled Bond would be more than enough confusion and complication for at least the rest of the year for her. But no. No, of course not. Because when she met Bruce Wayne at his manor for their first official day of internship on Saturday, nine days after arriving in Gotham City, she shook the billionaire’s hand for the first time.

And when their hands connected, the only thing in either of their favor is the fact that Alix had turned down the invitation to come with Marinette and therefore the only other people in the mansion were Bruce’s family (including Alfred, of course). Because as soon as their hands touched, bright silver light shone for a moment before what was basically a holographic screen popped up. On it in bold black font were the words:

— SOULBOND INITIATED STATUS: Familial FAMILIARITY LEVEL: Introductory BONDED INDIVIDUALS: Bruce Wayne (AKA:REDACTED) and Marinette Dupain-Cheng (AKA: REDACTED) INITIATE SOULBOND GUIDE? (Y / N) —

“B-But I already met my soulmate on Thursday!” Marinette objected, eyes wide as she pulled her hand away like it burned. “This can’t— this is a prank, right? New WayneTech or something?”

Unfortunately, Bruce stares at his own hand in similar shock.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, I also already met my soulmate,” he informed gravely, poking his palm with the index finger of his opposite hand. “But look. I did not get a physical mark from my romantic soulmate, but…”

Marinette knew. She didn’t want to acknowledge it, but she knew. Everybody with a physical soulmark said that you knew when it was real, when it wasn’t paint or a tattoo or anything else, because it felt real. In some intrinsic, magical, mysterious way, everyone intuitively knew if a physical mark was or wasn’t genuine.

And the little, silver bat signal on the center of Marinette’s palm was definitely genuine. Her eyes went wide at the sight of it, and the information on the holographic soulbond-board changed.

BONDED INDIVIDUALS: Bruce Wayne (AKA: Batman)

Bruce showed Marinette the small silver ladybug symbol on the exact same spot on his own palm.

And Marinette Dupain-Cheng (AKA: Ladybug)

“What the fuck?” That was Dick, who was the first to get over his shocked silence. But not very well. “What. The. Fuck? If Bruce had a familial soulmate, I would have thought it would be me. You know, first adopted son and everything,” he waved at himself, but his tone wasn’t jealous. It was just confused. “Or any of this other adopted children,” Richard gestured to the line of them next to him. “Why get a familial soulmate now? And why have two soulmates?”

The last line on the hologram began to flash insistently.

ACTIVATE SOULBOND GUIDE? (Y / N)

“I, uh, think we should click yes, Monsieur Wayne,” Marinette suggested, lifting her hand to do just that before pausing and glancing at her new (what? Father figure? Uncle figure? Oh my god if Bruce was Batman, did that mean Damian was Robin? The builds and estimated measurements matched up. Did that mean Bruce—) “Mon dieu, you’re supposed to be my father in law figure,” Marinette realized aloud, her face suddenly paper white at the realization.

“... I agree, let’s see what this ‘Soulbond guide’ is, exactly,” her familial soulmate decided to say, ignoring her realization entirely. He pressed the ‘Y’ with one finger before Marinette or his other children could protest. The silver screen changed, the text melting away in favor of showcasing a horizontal line. Until that line spoke, and moved to show the wavelengths of its voice as it did so. Like a digital mouth. Occasionally text would pop up to complement or supplement the spoken words.

“Hello. I am your SOULBOND guide, A.I.D.E, or Autonomous Introspective Destiny Escort. I am a pocket personality created by the Universe and Fate Itself as your guide and informant regarding your soul bond, and nothing but your soul bond. My knowledge may extend to some aspects of your personality, memories, background, and motives behind actions, but otherwise does not delve far beyond the specificities of your Bond. Even my knowledge of your timeline and social structure in your reality are limited. That being said, do you have any questions regarding your Bond?”

“Oh my god, it even reflects Bruce’s emotion issues,” Jason breathed, thoroughly intrigued and entertained.

“But what does that say about Marinette?” Tim shot back. “She isn’t emotionally stunted like both of her soulmates.”

Yeah, everyone agreed at that point that trying to hide their identities from the French girl was a moot point.

“No,” Marinette agreed slowly, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t even want to ask what you mean by emotionally stunted, because if Robin is any indication…” she winced, and several people in the room chuckled. Jason outright cackled. “But after dealing with HawkMoth for so long and not being able to let out any of my negative emotions, I developed a kind of mental system I guess. I just kinda… click and delete my anger or betrayal as often as it takes, if that makes sense.”

“That is not healthy, and we will talk about that later,” Damian said instantly, not looking pleased. Marinette just shrugged and grinned at him sheepishly.

As usual, Bruce was the first to actually begin to interrog— ahem— ask questions.

“Why do we have two soul bonds?” He asked, getting right to the point.

“In your case, it is due to your alter ego BATMAN. BATMAN has been a separate part of yourself, or at the very least you have seen him as separate from yourself as Bruce Wayne, for more than eighteen years. This grants BATMAN his own soulmate, as if he were his own entity. People such as Superman do not have this attribute, as they are fully cognizant of the unity of their two identities. BATMAN’s soulmate is Marinette, a familial soulmate. In her case, Marinette is in possession of the Ladybug Miraculous, which holds the power of Creation. This, along with the fact that Marinette is what is classified as a TRUE LADYBUG and/or a CREATION SOUL, gives rise to the possibility of a second soulmate being created for her as the need arises. This was compounded by the fact that she, like you, also sees LADYBUG as being a separate person from her own identity as Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Since she has held both a true CREATION SOUL and maintained this mindframe of being two separate people for several years, LADYBUG was granted a soulmate of her own, which is you. Does that suitably answer your question?”

“The first of many,” Bruce admitted grimly, turning to Marinette. “Do you want to ask anything else, or get on with the internship?”

“Just one question today,” she answered immediately, her mind buzzing. “What does the soul bond allow us to do, and how do we activate it?”

“You can activate the Soul Screen and myself by tapping your soulmark with that intention in mind. Your abilities are as follows; Mental Communication link— a two-way telepathy activated on command only when the Bond Mark is activated. Surveillance— the ability to see through your Soulmate’s eyes through the Soul Screen in emergency situations only. Bond Text— The ability to send written messages to your Soulmate by holding onto your soul mark, imagining the contents of the text, and sending it. Nobody except your soulmate will be able to see said message, and it will appear on the palm that hosts that individual’s Soul Mark. SOS— If one member of the soul bond is in life threatening danger, the other member’s bond mark will glow and a meter showcasing the endangered member’s life force will appear next to the mark. Upon the life force extinguishing, this Bond will permanently dissolve. Resurrection, time travel, and magical Cures will not revive this Bond.”

“In other words, the Universe is calling both of you out for being reckless and is only giving you once Chance here,” Barbara surmised ruthlessly. “Good luck. Alfred, what’s for lunch?”

As everyone filed out of the room with the dissolution of the Soulbond’s novelty, Damian, Bruce, and Marinette were left standing in awkward silence. Silently, Marinette shut off the Soul Screen and A.I.D.E with it.

“... we won’t be able to keep secrets anymore,” Marinette said, seemingly just thinking out loud. “Once we activate the Soul Screen, AIDE will totally rat out any we try to keep.”

“She was my soulmate first, Father, so I’m stealing her now,” Damian said by way of warning Bruce before he picked Marinette up and carried her away. The billionaire playboy philanthropist just stared after them, wondering what the hell he did to taunt the Universe into making him the butt of all of its jokes.

He tapped his ear twice, a different bond awakening. “Selina? Please tell me you’re in town. I think I’ll crack out some of the good alcohol tonight.”

“Celebrating something?” The familiar voice purred in his ear.

“Coping.”

—*—*—*—*—* This is not at all canon to the original story, but takes place in the same universe. Just an idea I had for a second that I wanted to write a stupid one shot for. This is crack and I’m okay with that.

Why Brandon Sanderson Is an Amazing Writer (and Why You Should Read His Novels)

Last week I was recommending some novels to @bosstoaster and was really struggling to not fan squeal all over the place about just how incredible Sanderson’s novels are. Usually, when this happens, I try to pick 1-2 things I like about his writing to talk about, so I don’t talk a person’s ear off...but that usually means so much gets left out.

But I’ve been thinking about it since, so you know what? I can do whatever I want on my blog. So here’s my full, unadulterated breakdown of all the things that are so damned incredible (and consistent) about Brandon Sanderson’s novels (as well as his writing methodology). 

Does contain minor spoilers, but not for anything huge, and I tried to keep even the minor spoilers vague.

PLOT

Incredible world-building—that isn’t generic medieval fantasy-land

I love fantasy as much as the next person, and I enjoy most generic medieval fantasy stories if the plot or characters are great. But Sanderson’s always exploring different kinds of worlds, and entering them is always engaging. Magical cowboy western? A world continually buffeted by enormous hurricanes on a regular basis, so everything evolved to survive them, including the flora and fauna? A world where ash constantly falls? A world that is literally the embodiment of thought and concept? There’s always something exciting to discover.

Incredible magic systems

Like the generic medieval fantasy world-building, I’m used to the D&D style magic systems with energies and fireballs. Sanderson doesn’t touch these kinds of magic systems, though, and I’m continually stunned at just how creative the ones he does use are. Ingest metal, and use it to activate a latent power of yours? Bonding with the literal living embodiment of a concept in order to gain abilities? Re-writing the history of an item so it believes it can be different, and it changes? Using color as payment for a system based entirely around souls and soul coding? The list is long and always entertaining. He’s even written a whole article about how to design magic systems, which is also worth a read.

Really good at the ‘good’ kind of plot twists that leave you genuinely satisfied

I know we’ve all been frustrated by the recent trend that media seems to have these days: viewers or readers guess the direction the plot is heading in, and creators, in a panic, throw in a completely unrelated plot twist (changing the whodunnit, killing off a character, adding a resolution that makes no sense). Those suck. Let’s be real.

Sanderson does the opposite. He leaves the clues in his stories—they’re always there, and you can figure it out with the context clues, if you’re clever. If you’re not, he’s real good at throwing in twists that are hinted at, but still feel incredibly impactful and really satisfying. The end of The Emperor’s Soul still gives me chills, and I still love the twists regarding the big bads in Mistborn and The Stormlight Archive.

Also? He genuinely will catch you by surprise, sometimes. I consider myself to be a pretty experienced reader, and a decent writer. I can usually tell where plots are going for most stories. That’s satisfying, of course. But Sanderson has a way of still managing to sucker-punch me with a plot twist or reveal that feels shocking in a good way. I don’t see a lot of these coming, but the result isn’t disappointment, it’s a “holy crap—wow, how cool!” followed by an intense desire to reread half the story to pick out the clues that were sitting in front of me the whole time, now that I know what they’re actually for. 

Really interesting meta-level stories 

Depending on how invested you want to get, there’s a meta-level of interconnected story with the Cosmere. All of Sanderson’s stories are enjoyable on their own, and you’re never required to go deeper. But if you want to, you can, and suddenly there’s a whole second layer of information and characters in the background that you never really noticed, because most of his stories are actually connected to each other too. You don’t have to know who Hoid is or how he contributes to each separate story, you don’t have to be able to find the crossover characters that have literally crossed over from other books, and you don’t have to understand the whole Shards angle, and you can still enjoy all those books on an individual basis. But when you do know how to spot them in the narratives, it’s really fun, and you feel like you’re in on a great secret.

CHARACTER

Only male author I’ve ever read that actually writes GOOD female characters 

Brandon Sanderson seems to have hit on the not-so-secret secret that most male authors—who dominate the fantasy genre—haven’t seemed to figure out yet: women are people too. 

Consequently, Sanderson writes incredible varieties of female characters, each with their own personalities and quirks, who don’t necessarily fall into the “damsel in distress” or “masculine-coded action lady” stereotypes. See the politically savvy Sarene, the scholarly Shallan, the clever and artistic Shai, rebellious and somewhat childish Siri, the formal and analytical Steris. (These are literally just the ladies with names that start with S). 

But it gets better. Because even with action-hero ladies, they still have characterizations outside of ‘being a lady that beats people up like a man and strives to be as unlady-like as possible to prove she can beat people up like a man.’ Vin might be an action heroine, but she’s also a young woman who’s learning how to have a family, who’s scared of opening up to people, and who’s insecure about her place in the world. Marasi wants to be part of law enforcement, but admits to another character that she also likes the make-up and dresses and looking pretty—and she hates that people expect her to be a masculine action-lady that wears pants and starts fights, because she feels like she won’t even be seen in her field if she doesn’t, and like she has to represent all women. 

But I think the biggest example of this comes from his short story Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell, which (despite its edge-tastic title), is about a mother trying to protect her daughter. Sanderson wrote it as a part of the anthology Dangerous Women, and in his post-script on the story in Arcanum Unbounded, he writes: 

“I thought for a long time about the nature of an anthology called Dangerous Women. I worried that the stories submitted to it might fall into the trope of making women dangerous all in the same way....I didn’t want to write just another cliched story about a femme fatale, or a woman soldier who was basically a man with breasts. 

What other ways could someone be dangerous? I knew early on that I wanted my protagonist to be a middle-aged mother.”

In short, Sanderson actually understands how women work and writes actual, believable, likable female characters, who are just people and not sexual objects or prizes for men to receive at the end of the novel. It’s something we need, and it’s refreshing to see.

But on that note—he’s not afraid to let his male characters be softer either

In the same way that most female characters in fantasy are forced to be masculine-like action ladies, most male characters are also forced into the same role. There’s this misunderstanding that male characters have to all be sword-swinging barbarians who can’t have emotions. 

Sanderson punts this misunderstanding out the window and will have none of it.

There are so many good male characters in this series too that don’t immediately make you want to cringe. Look at Elend, who’s an intellectual doing his best but genuinely screws up a lot, and is all but useless for the first half of the series as a combatant. Look at Wayne, and his heartbreaking moment at the end of Bands of Mourning, who grieves for a person who’d been family to him and isn’t afraid to show how much he cares. Look at Adolin, who seems like the quintessential sword-swinging action-oriented jock, but then completely subverts all expectations by patiently and carefully helping characters with mental illnesses deal with them on their bad days, and being unhesitatingly supportive of his autistic brother. Look at Gaotona, who spends the whole book trying to educate someone on how they’re wrong—only to learn from them instead, and realize he was wrong, and to admit to it. 

Men have their soft moments, written by a male author who’s not afraid to put those moments into his works. And that’s really good, too.

In general, just really good characterization

Sanderson’s characters feel like people. They have oddball quirks, realistic-sounding conversations, and occasionally do things that make no sense. Just like friends, family, coworkers, etc that you and I all no doubt know. Hammond’s philosophical rambling (and Breeze’s frustrated bickering over it), Lift making it her life goal to steal dinners, Wayne’s justification for his kleptomania since he ‘trades’ items instead, David’s weird speech patterns and idioms—these characters are just fun to read, and have extra layers that just make them feel more real.

His books have a strong non-romantic relationship focus

Media in general is inundated with romantic and sexual relationships, and doubly so for fantasy novels—especially when fantasy novels often have a ‘prize’ romance at the end of the epic journey. Save the girl, get the girl. It can be frustrating, especially for people who aren’t interested in romance as a genre (there is a reason a lot of us are reading fantasy novels, and not romance ones).

Sanderson loves focusing on all kinds of relationships though, not just romantic ones. Found family, real family, strong platonic friendships, mentorships, interesting rivals, bonds out of duty—they’re all in here, and Sanderson’s not shy about making it clear. Look at Kelsier openly telling Vin he wishes he and his wife had a daughter like her and admitting he sees her as one, or the way the rest of the team turns her into their little sister that they all teach and protect. Look at Wax taking in Wayne, a scared kid who’d gotten in over his head and didn’t know what to do. Look at Kaladin looking at an entire band of slaves and going, ‘yeah, you’re all mine now and I protect you all,’ and how he forms a whole family out of Bridge Four that ultimately turns around and takes care of him, too (and of course, a lot of Kaladin’s story is driven by his own relationship with his actual family, specifically his younger brother). Look at Shallan doing all that she does at the start of the series to protect her brothers. Look at Prof struggling so hard to protect his little band of Reckoners even as he struggles to protect them from himself. Look at Shai and Gaotona, how they’re set up as prisoner and jailer, and yet they grow to ultimately respect each other.

I could go on and on, but the point is, these non-romantic relationships are everywhere, and they are considered to be just as important as—and sometimes more important than—romantic relationships. 

But on the flip-side, his romantic relationships are very well handled

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a big fan of romance or shipping. It generally doesn’t hold my interest. In most books, I skim or skip the romance parts, because I’m just not invested in those relationships. They feel flimsy. 

I don’t do that with Sanderson’s works. They’re the only books I’ve ever read where I genuinely feel invested in the characters’ romantic relationships. 

Because here’s the thing: all of these characters that are romantically involved, are also good friends, and that’s the basis of their entire relationship to begin with. And that means these relationships are accessible to everyone, regardless of romantic inclinations or interests. 

Adolin and Shallan just joking around and bantering, with him teaching her how to use swords, with her rattling off witty repartee to defend him in verbal spars? When they just genuinely enjoy each others’ company, without having to constantly make out or have sex to indicate why they like being around each other? That’s genuinely fun. It’s some lovely character interaction. Maybe I don’t “get” the parts where they want to do more romantically inclined things, but I can enjoy that they legitimately enjoy being around each other, that they’re good friends as well as romantic partners, and that they trust each other. And that means I can still be engaged in their relationship instead of yawning and skipping ahead a few pages.

Which brings me to:

He also takes common romantic tropes...and throws them in the garbage bin

Sanderson has other ways of handling romantic relationships that I (as a person who doesn’t like romance) finds so impressive it deserves its own section. Because he takes common romantic tropes, and subverts them, and makes the characters all the more healthy for it. 

On at least two occasions (in Stormlight Archive, and in the sequel Mistborn series), Sanderson has set up a classic love triangle...and then immediately broken it. In one novel, one of the male love interests graciously offers to back out if it will mean the female love interest is happy, because he really just wants her to be happy even if that means he’s not around, and she chooses him anyway...whereupon he makes it clear he’ll definitely help her with her mental health and he wants to be supportive of her. Holy shit, what a wild notion, an actual supportive character in a love triangle. In the second series, the love triangle gets set up, but ultimately broken when the man ultimately chooses the arranged marriage over the ‘true love’ angle, and then realizes he actually, legitimately enjoys the company of the lady in the arranged marriage, and the ‘true love’ love interest realizes that actually, that would have been a terrible idea and she wants to pursue her career. Again, a refreshing and ultimately all-around healthy take for all the characters on something that normally has some nasty fallout. 

In Mistborn, my first introduction to one of Sanderson’s series, I remember being genuinely floored and in awe of Elend’s and Vin’s relationship...because Vin is still really nervous about opening up to people and not comfortable with intimacy, and Elend is completely okay with that. He takes it slow with her, lets her set the pace, and doesn’t force her to do anything before she’s ready. Vin is most comfortable just being around/near him without doing anything inherently romantic, just being in his presence, and he is completely cool with that. And that’s such a healthy thing to see in a romantic story, because it’s really important for readers to see that yes, it’s totally OK to not rush into things, and yes, it’s totally OK for people to take it slower or easier for an uneasy partner. 

I could go on and on, but basically, romantic relationships in Sanderson’s novels are also engaging because a lot of the time? They’re healthy, and friendly, and toss most dramatic romantic subplots out on their ass.

While on that note?

He doesn’t do sex scenes

This one might be a loss for some, but it’s a win for me. Depending on how I feel on a given day, I’m either ‘irritated by’ to ‘really uncomfortable by’ sex scenes in novels...and unfortunately they’re prevalent, especially in fantasy novels. I usually end up uncomfortably flipping through these pages, trying to figure out where the scene ends so I can get back to the actual story. 

I honestly can’t think of a sex scene in any of his novels though. In fantasy, it’s stunningly refreshing, and I feel super safe and comfortable reading his novels because I don’t have to worry about uncomfortable surprises. Plus, circling back to the above points, it’s kind of nice to see characters having established relationships without it having to be solely reliant on them having a good or bad sex life.

Has LGBT+ relationships 

Yup, they’re there, and edge past ‘strongly implied’ to ‘blatantly stated’ in some cases too. Offhand, I can think of a pair of men in the Stormlight Archive who are noted to be in a relationship with each other, and a lesbian gunsmith in the second Mistborn series.

What I find important is not just the inclusion of these blatant relationships, but also how it’s treated as completely normal and not taboo in the context of these worlds, too. Non-straight relationships aren’t treated like a scourge or a difficulty these characters have to deal with; it’s just normal in these realities. 

Additionally, what I really like about them is the way other characters will get called out about it if they do cross a line (usually accidentally). In the above cases, Kaladin makes an ignorant off-hand remark about his gay Bridge Four soldier and is immediately called out about it by the rest of the Bridge Four gang, whereupon he realizes he’d crossed a line and apologizes right away. In the Mistborn series, Wayne repeatedly makes passes at lesbian gunsmith Ranette, who spurns his advances. But when he realizes she’s actually into girls, he backs off and respects that, rather than insisting on her dating him. These are some nice little lessons on how straight people actually should react regarding their non-straight friends and family, and normalizes non-straight people existing in society.

Sanderson has also been openly responsive to and cool about people interpreting his characters in non-straight relationships or reading “implied” relationships/romantic subtext, even if he hadn’t originally intended to put them there. Offhand, I can think of one situation where a reader told him he probably didn’t realize “just how bi” he’d written Shallan in regards to her interactions with Jasnah, to which Sanderson’s response was basically, “Well that wasn’t on purpose, but alright, cool, cool.” 

Also very good about inclusivity for mental illnesses and disabilities

While we’re on the topic of inclusivity, let’s talk mental illnesses and disabilities as well, because Sanderson is great about including these too. In Stormlight Archive alone, we have: 

Renarin, who in addition to having some physically disabilities (specifically, seizures and being physically weak), is confirmed by Word of God to be on the autistic spectrum. And he’s treated with respect and support by his family members and friends. His father shows up to meetings or events he wants to go to, just so he can feel comfortable going to them to show interest in things men typically aren’t supposed to. His brother protects him fiercely in combat but also does his best to give him space to grow, and understands that his brother is incredibly intelligent but sometimes just needs a little time to organize his thoughts or figure out how to communicate. Kaladin understands his physical disabilities immediately and is able to give advice on how to deal with them. The entirety of Bridge Four adopts him as another brother. Jasnah finds another way. I could go on, but basically, Renarin is great

Kaladin has clinical depression, and possibly some form of PTSD, even if they don’t have the technical words for this in-universe. He really struggles with this a lot in the series. Despite that, other characters look out for him a lot, and this creates some genuinely tender moments. 

Shallan rapidly developing some identity disorders. Actually breaks down and admits this to another character. The other character is fiercely supportive of her despite that and doesn’t give up on her so easily

Lopen doesn’t have an arm, but despite being physically disabled, Kaladin still immediately values him and he finds a place on the team. He’s also just...legitimately chill about being an amputee, makes missing arm jokes all the time, and doesn’t seem terribly bothered by it. I believe Sanderson even stated that there’s no real tragic story behind the missing arm...it’s just Lopen. That’s it. 

Teft struggles with substance abuse and insecurity, but the entirety of Bridge Four is super supportive in helping him break it

There’s a character who ends up paralyzed from the waist down over the course of the series. She thinks she’s done for and her life is over, but her mentor keeps encouraging her to try things anyway. 

Honestly, this series is enormous—there’s probably a ton more I’m not even remembering off-hand.

All of this is usually handled pretty tactfully and often brings in some really heartwarming character interactions when characters struggle with issues and other characters help them overcome them. Do you like hurt/comfort and whump in fanfiction? Sanderson does this in actual fiction. It’s great.

WRITING METHODOLOGY

He actually takes the time to write good stories

Sometimes a long-awaited book in a series coughDeathlyHallowscough comes out and you just know it was rushed. You can see it in the way the plot threads are resolved, in the way some threads are just never resolved and end up hanging there open-ended, in the way the epilogues are short and empty.

Sanderson doesn’t do this. He’s pretty transparent about it on his Twitter, where he’ll post updates on his writing progress percentages. Sometimes he apologizes for a delay on a book, because he wants to make sure it’s done right or he works out a plot point just so, or he needs to go back and re-read some old material to make sure there’s no hanging plot points. 

This is good. This is great. This means he genuinely cares about his work, and he wants to produce good content. I will happily wait an extra couple months if it means the book that’s going to sit on my shelf for years to come has a satisfactory start, middle and end.

He’s always ready to give advice to up-and-coming writers, and he’s great about fandoms

Sanderson has a whole segment on his blog devoted to answering questions about writing. He also has a whole series of lectures available for free online. I’ve even heard him in podcasts and blogs in other things. He’s not shy about giving advice and encouraging up and coming writers, and he’s always so encouraging about it too. He’s also totally cool with fanfiction, unlike some big name authors out there who get very elitist about fandoms and the comparative “worthlessness” of fanfiction. 

Some of his novels are available for free, right now, on his website

A bunch of his novels and novellas are available totally for free on his website, which means additional accessibility for people who don’t have the cash for books, ebooks, or audio books, and don’t have time to get to a library. 

Many of them are also available as audiobooks, which means you can probably snag them through your local library’s audio book checkout system as well. 

In conclusion

Brandon Sanderson rocks, his stories rock, and everyone who likes fantasy should really give them a shot, for all of the above reasons. 

What if ...

Loki where a 21st century woman?

Part 2

Scene 8

Back at home, we enter a room where Kevin and Loki are sitting face to face. As Kevin had said, an hour a day - now we know he meant it. Yet, just because he looks like an Irish leprechaun, it doesn’t mean he has the same wit. Indeed we can assume that he has inherited more but the ginger hair. Loki seems like she’d figured it out already, according to her staring. It’s like the game we all played as kids. A staring contest, losers gonna look away first. Both of them want to be at the winning side. We start to wonder what kind of therapeutic use this game shall have, as Kevin breaks the silence, not looking away of course.

‘You really think that you are Loki of Asgard?’

‘I do not think so. I know who I am!’

Not the best opening line for a therapist. Here we see the trainee.

‘Good… had you ever the desire to — well, use the boy’s bathroom, or play with cars instead of dolls?’

We move our angle, so we can see what Kevin writes down on his notepad.

‘Seriously? That is what you want to know? — To be honest I was thought to play with knives and illusions, as well as with my brothers foolishness. Trust me, gender never was a big deal for me. I can be whatever I want to,’ Lokis boasts.

° narcissism

° dissociative identity disorder

° a lot of anger/rage

Is what we can read by now. Dr. Freud might had added hysteria.

‘Tell me about your brother,’ is Kevins next question.

‘I would not know why,’ Loki appeals stubborn.

‘We have a deal, remember?’

‘I don’t see any sense in it, as you obviously don’t believe me, but here you go. Thor, god of thunder. Not the brightest glowing candle. Likes his hammer… a lot. Future king of Asgard, if you’d ask him. Has a soft spot for Midgard. I came here to say hello,’ she’s checking on her fingernails while speaking.

‘To me it sounds like there is a rivalry between you and your brother?’ for a second we catch discomfort in Lokis eyes.

‘He’s not my real brother. It’s not that long ago when I was told, I am adopted.’

‘Who told you so?’

‘My fa…, Odin. He promised me a throne! Just to tell me, that I was nothing more than a hostage.’

°daddy issues

Kevins pen is wandering on the paper.

‘Tell me about your mum.’

‘She’s kind an loving. I’m afraid, I might never see her again, only in my dreams.’

‘Why do you think so?’

‘Never mind! There is witchcraft, even in dreams. You would not understand. — By the way, how come this reality is blocking out almost every magic?’ Loki’s time for questions.

‘Honestly? As you really seem to believe it, I have some bad news for you: There is no magic, and no gods or stuff like that. Most of us, including me, don’t believe in sorcery or different realms. I’m sorry to disappoint you.’

We don’t fail to notice how Kevin is struggling, to take the topic serious. Meanwhile Loki has an enlightening moment.

‘That must be part of the problem! People don’t believe…,’ she mumbles to herself. Aloud she says, ‘tell me about your world, please. I know a bit from Barton but me seems this one is unlike his. What is the history of this country for instance?’ Lokis eyes are glowing.

‘Are you kidding me? — You don’t know?’ Kevin looks puzzled.

‘Would I ask otherwise?’ annoyance is speaking out of her voice.

Kevin starts a lesson in english history. Loki is rather interested in the war of the roses and the Tudor King. We start to get a bad feeling, that this might won’t end well; with her question, ‘you are saying, England has never grown out of monarchy and is ruled by a Queen until today?!’

‘Yes and a King, - people always seem to forget about him, poor guy,’ Kevin sights.

‘Tell me everything about them!’ there is a lot of motivation in Loki’s behaviour now.

‘I think that’s enough for today. I’m not that interested into royal gossip, - if you want to know more, you can look it up on the internet, or go to the library,’ he sounds tired.

We suspect that this session didn’t proceed as planed. He has our empathy, cause he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Or at least he doesn’t believe it. Not all of us would, but we have the benefit of knowing Loki, and we are just observer. We should feel sorry for Kevin, as he doesn’t realise what Loki’s mind is wandering of to. We remember well, how much Loki desires a throne. Not that she didn’t mention it while talking about Odin.

‘The leprechaun showed me how to use this thing called internet. I’m impressed! I had known that it could be a useful weapon, yet I had no clue how much. It’s like an addiction, all those informations. Makes it a pushover to take over this kingdom! Ehehehehe. I read on, a plan is growing, I like how it sparkles. The discovery of the actual age, of the monarchs, makes it even better. Their son isn’t that much younger. To my satisfaction, there are two princes next in row, to follow the crown. Not the baddest idea to become a woman. Nothing is going to stop me!

‘Helloho! I’m talking to you, freak. Stop that creepy laughing and help me to cook dinner, would you?! If you want to share our home, you can do something for it. Maybe Kevin is alright with you behaving like the Queen of England, well I’ll tell you something, I ain’t!’ the warrior has her hands pressed to her hips and usually I wouldn’t give much about her complaining, but for the sake of learning from them, I follow her into the kitchen.’

Scene 9

Picturing Loki and Beatrix in the kitchen, we feel a little smile stealing onto our faces. The idea, of Loki doing the cooking, is hilarious. Beatrix commanding her, comes close to a catastrophe and is a test for Loki’s self-control.

Let’s get a bit closer and listen to their conversation, shall we?

‘Did you never cut a tomato?’ we hear Bea.

‘Not with a dull knife. If you would have let me use my dagger, I would have been faster!’ Loki mutters.

‘Yeah, as if this dirty piece, wherever you hide it, was made to cut vegetables with. I don’t like to imagine your family dinners,’ Bea folds her arms, waiting for Loki to get the veggies ready.

‘Sure, the are awkward. I have to approve, you are right. The dagger was made to cut into meat,’ Loki let the knife run through her fingers, staring at Bea in disgust.

‘Sorry to disappoint you missy, but one of our rules is: No meat for dinner, nor in this kitchen. I am vegan and no dead animals will cross our door!’ Bea turns around to light the gas of the stove.

‘Who said I was talking about animals?!’ Loki mutters to herself.

‘What?’ Bea turns around with a pan in her hand, pointing it at the other girl.

‘Nothing. I’m done with the vegetables, what’s next?’ Loki grins, swirling the knife again.

‘Would you please stop?!’ she points a finger at Lokis hand, ‘it’s a bit dangerous, don’t you think?’

‘What, the knife?’ she looks at it impenitently, ‘not really, unless I decide it should.’ Loki grins again. Annoying Bea, gives her satisfaction.

The girl, almost done with her nerves by now, tries to take away the sharp object from her reckless flatmate. Unfortunately, Loki is a lot taller and has enough strength back, to use her magic pockets. What makes the knife disappear every time Bea comes close.

‘What are you, David Copperfield for the poor? Hand me the bloody knife, or I swear I’ll…,’ she doesn’t come any further as Kevin enters the room, in the exact moment things almost escalated.

‘I see you start to get along a bit better?’ he smiles naively. We start to wonder how he will ever be a psychologist? Maybe he just picked the wrong job?

From Lokis face we capture a innocent, but satisfied look into Kevins direction, as Beatrix let go of her to roast the vegetables.

‘Veggies again, … what are you cooking love?’ Kevin steps closer to see what is in the pan.

‘Rice with tomato, carrots and peas,’ Bea lists the ingredients.

‘Delicious, can’t wait for it,’ he rolls his eyes behind her back, ‘I’ll cook something proper when she has her night out,’ he whispers into Lokis ear, while handing her a towel. For a second she stands there holding it, not sure what Kevin wants. Soon enough she figures, he wants to do the dishes while Bea is busy at the stove. We might make a guess, that Kevin is frightened of his friend, when she’s in such a mood. Or maybe we have to admit, that he is more cunning than anyone could tell.

‘The food that the warrior princess has cooked, isn’t as bad as I’d expected. Not that I would tell her. She’s a ghastly person. I’ll have to tolerate it, until I’ve found a way into Buckingham palace. For now I can have my fun with both of them. Nonetheless I’ll have to keep an eye on Kevin. He hasn’t shown all his cards yet, I can sense it. Plus I’m unsure if I can trust him.

Anyway, it’s exhausting with them.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough rest, but I’m dead tired. All I want to do, is to lie down and think of a plan, to infiltrate the royal family. To my disappointment, we have to do the dishes — again! For the warrior has done the cooking. Not enough that she forced me to help her with it.

‘Are we done now? I’m tired,’ I tell the leprechaun after the last, clean fork.

‘Sure, but don’t you want to join us? We have our movie night. Could be a good chance to get to know each other better,’ he shows me those puppy eyes. Something in them beg me to join, I can’t help myself.

‘Fine. If it’s that important to you,’ I sigh.

Plans can wait until tomorrow, I guess. Let’s see what kind of pleasures a movie night might bring.

‘Yay! I’ll make popcorn and get everything ready. Do you want to take a shower in the meantime?’

That’s a good idea. It has been a long time since water has seen my body. A short sniff approves my misgiving. I smell.

The ginger almost pushes me into the bathroom, while explaining everything. He hands me fresh clothes and faster than I can soak in all informations, he has left. I’m alone in the middle of the tiny room. The only space, to place my wardrobe, is the toilet seat or optional, the ground. I have to make a sacrifice, fresh clothes onto the toilet, the stuff I’m wearing onto the ground. I can’t wait to feel the water refreshing me. The only thing that keeps me away from it, is the bloody bra! What kind of sadistic person has invented this fastener?

Probably one of the torturers from Hel.

The quiet ‘plop’ as it opens, couldn’t be more satisfying. I almost jump into the shower and turn the water on. A mistake as it turns out. The water is cooking. It burns my freed breasts.

Who the fuck takes a shower this hot?!

The water becomes a moderate temperature, as I soap myself with a strange smelling piece, I’ve found on the tray in the corner.

Afterwards my hair is nearly impossible to comb — should I have used those bottles instead? Probably would have thought about it, if I had not been that distracted by my new body.

Anyway, time to get dressed and see what kind of night lies ahead.

I stop after entering the living room, not sure what is expected of me.

The two mortals are sitting on a sofa, cuddling.

‘Ah, there you are. Come, sit! We have waited for you,’ Kevin says.

‘Like forever. What have you done in there?’ the warrior is still grumpy, but not as much as during dinner.

I take the offered seat, on the edge of the sofa, cause the leprechaun is looking at me in expectancy, ignoring the comment of the veggie queen.

‘Come a little closer, or do you want to fall over? Allow yourself some comfort,’ he hands me a bowl with ‘Popcorn’ as he calls it, and I’m surprised by it’s buttery, salty taste. I like it!

I almost start to get comfortable but the strange behaviour of my seat mate destroys that feeling. Why is he sniffing at me?

My gaze must have made him aware of his doing. He stops, turning red.

‘I’m sorry! It’s just… which bottle of shampoo did you use?’ he wants to know.

‘None of them. Didn’t trust their substances. I’m all for the old-fashioned way in showering! I took the soap.’

The burst out of laughter from the girl disturb me, ‘what have I done wrong?’

‘Oh well — that was Hina’s special soap, against rash. We try to avoid it, because of this strong smell of marigold -‘

‘Now you smell like a granny!’ Bea’s giggles interrupt Kevin.

‘- you must know, sometimes it makes your skin burn or become itchy, if you use it without the need to ease your rash,’ he adds.

‘Great! Thanks for the warning.’ I almost yell at him.

‘Calm down. Here, have a nice glass of wine and a blanked, you must be cold.’

I suppose he never heard of Frostgiants, anyway, I take the blanked and if it’s only to cover this ugly thing that doesn‘t deserve the name pyjamas. A big sip of wine, helps me over the fact that the warrior is still laughing. I swear by Odin, I’m going to cut her throat , in her sleep, if she doesn’t stop soon.

‘ ‘kay ladies, enough silliness for now. Let’s get to the movie. Are you ready?’ Kevin asks, while he presses a button on the remote control.

The movie starts while Kevin explains to me that it is called ‘Star Wars’. After a few minutes I lose interest in it. This species has no clue what is going on in the universe. Not to mention the horrible special effects and this stupid emperor in a mask, calling himself Vader … they should meet Thanos!

At some point I decide to enjoy the food and the wine to let my thoughts wander. To correct the movie was fun, until they got angry with me because of the steady interruptions.

All those delicious details I’ve learned today!

The grandson of the Queen, Edmund, has been in the newspapers a lot, for his excessive party live. Would be stupid if I didn’t use it to make my way into the palace. The only problem will be my lack of patience. Every detail has to be perfect, so this croutons won’t realise how I infiltrate them. Maybe I should have ‘sight-seeing’ around Buckingham Palace tomorrow… ?’

As always, I’m happy about constructive feedback. Tell me what you think about it, if you’ve read until the end. And I’m sorry for the pic,.. next time I’ll draw a better one 🙈 it’s not that easy to transform him,...

DND!!

Tumblr Meets D&D - Your Muse as a D&D Character

Blue

The last of my builds for this round, we finally get to a Pokemon Adventures character, which means we actually have a heckin’ lot to base this build off of, both from the canon source and from @maskedthief‘s interpretation of her. Blue is the third trainer to rise from Pallet Town, having set out on her journey around Kanto to take part in the league tournament after stealing a Squirtle from Professor Oak’s lab. She’s run into the likes of Red and Green plenty of times, though major moments include stealing Red’s Boulder and Cascade Badges as well as selling him a bunch of fake items. There’s also the raid on Silph Co, where she helped Red and Green knock Team Rocket outa there, even pulling a few fast ones on the mistress of Psychic Types and Rocket Admin, Sabrina. We should also be reminded of her backstory, kidnapped at a young age by a giant bird and raised as one of the Masked Man’s minions. It was there she learned all about Evolution- when something will evolve, how it evolves, how fast it can evolve, etc. These are skills we should be able to translate into some forms of knowledge, which is our first goal. In addition we need to make sure her hands are fast and just as sticky and that she can move fast to wing it outta there. Lastly, let’s try to get some of her Pokemon team represented, with the bulk of them being of the Fairy Type, we should ensure that Blue has plenty of fey influence. Once again, we’ll be using Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition and all books and articles related to it.

Ability Scores

These ventures will use standard array, a set of numbers given as a sort of average stat pool. Feel free to roll for stats if you wanted to use this character, just treat this arrangement as a general order for what stats are most important. We won’t need to bother with multiclassing, so just make sure you use the stat spread as a guideline and you’ll be passing with flying colors. ...Too soon? 

Strength: 8 (Won’t really help us.) Dexterity: 15 (Main attacking stat and useful for thievery) Constitution: 10 (I don’t wanna dump it.) Intelligence: 13 (Need this to be pretty solid.) Wisdom: 12 (Definitely has decent Insight rolls.) Charisma: 14 (Definitely knows how to please people.)

Race

Let’s look at some options here. We could make Blue a Human, since she is one (as far as we’re aware) and get her a free Feat. But I think we can do that juuuuust a little bit better. Know how I mentioned the fey earlier? Let’s actually make Blue a Half-Elf. Half-Elves get the best of Humans and Elves, starting with the typical 30 feet of movement, +2 to their Charisma score (raising it to 16), +1 to two different stats of their choice (bump Dexterity to 16 and Intelligence to 14), and Darkvision out to 60 feet. It doesn’t look very easy to see outta that mask, so she definitely had to see better in low light. Not to mention it’s very handy for a thief. Her Fey Ancestry would also give her advantage on charm saves and she wouldn’t be able to be put to sleep by magic, great for staying away from insomnia and nightmares, eh? She would also get Skill Versatility, gaining two skills of her choice. I’d recommend Arcana for her knowledge of magical metamorphosis and History to cover any research on Evolution already done. As for Languages, she gets Common, Elvish, and a language of her choice. Perhaps Auran, the language of beings close to the Elemental Plane of Air? 

Class and Background

Now, for our thief-y little girl here, I’m thinking that the best way to go is Bard, her About page does mention she’s a good singer, right? Okay that’s a big fat lie and we know it. It’s obvious, she’s a Rogue. Do I even need to explain why? No, she probably stole the reason and flew on outta here. 

Rogues start with a d8 hit die (decent, not the best), proficiency in Dexterity and Intelligence saving throws, simple weapons, hand crossbows, longswords, rapiers, shortswords, thieves’ tools, and four skills from a pretty big list. Of the options listed, Acrobatics, Deception, Investigation, and Persuasion cover her agility and people skills effectively. We’ll get some more skills to aid her thieving from her background. Toss on some light armor, I’d recommend studded leather. As for what weapons to focus on, I’d suggest any Finesse weapon to pair well with her Dexterity. While there’s no real in-character option, but a rapier is pretty stylish and could evoke a sweet masked thief vibe. It deals a d8 + her Dexterity modifier in damage too, making it the strongest option for her. 

As for her background, let’s focus on her time with the Masked Man and call her an Urchin. But since we’re altering it a bit, feel free to rename it Kidnapped Youth or something like that. Take proficiency in Sleight of Hand and Perception to round off her thief-y skills. As I’ve said before, backgrounds also give you access to tools. Her Ditto could be represented early with proficiency in a Disguise Kit while proficiency in the Forgery Kit could make her just as deceptive in writing as she is with spoken word.

This build’s gonna be pretty easy, Rogue from start to finish. We’ll take a look at what Blue gets at each level and discuss ways to make use of them and cover any choices that need to be made. At Rogue 1, Blue gets one of the best things about being a Rogue, a way to make her anime as fuck with incredible skill checks in the skills she uses most:

Expertise: Choose two of your skill proficiencies, or one of your skill proficiencies and your proficiency with thieves' tools. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of the chosen proficiencies..

I’d suggest Arcana to make her an expert in Evolution and Sleight of Hand to make her hands as fast as possible. For the record, proficiency bonuses start at +2 and reach +6 by level twenty, so that’s a free +12 in those stats by the end of the build. Pretty dang good if you ask me. Rogues also get their other key feature at this level, which helps them deal more damage in their turn:

Sneak Attack: Once per turn, you can deal extra 1d6 damage to one creature you hit with an attack if you have advantage on the attack roll. The attack must use a finesse or a ranged weapon.You don't need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is within 5 feet of it, that enemy isn't incapacitated, and you don't have disadvantage on the attack roll.

And lastly our girl Blue gets Thieves’ Cant, a secret language of ciphers and symbols that can carry secret messages. Pretty handy way to exchange secret communications.

Thieves’ Cant: You know thieves' cant, a secret mix of dialect, jargon, and code that allows you to hide messages in seemingly normal conversation. Only another creature that knows thieves' cant understands such messages. It takes four times longer to convey such a message than it does to speak the same idea plainly. In addition, you understand a set of secret signs and symbols used to convey short, simple messages, such as whether an area is dangerous or the territory of a thieves' guild, whether loot is nearby, or whether the people in an area are easy marks or will provide a safe house for thieves on the run.

At Rogue 2, we can satisfy that speedy goal of mine and get a way for her to soar like a Pidgeot compared to the average adventurer:

Cunning Action: You can use your Bonus Action to take the Dash, Disengage, or Hide action. Thanks to the Class Feature Variant Unearthed Arcana article, she can additionally use this bonus action to Aim. When using your bonus action in this way, you give yourself advantage on your next attack roll on the current turn. You can use this bonus action only if you haven’t moved during this turn, and after you use the bonus action, your speed is 0 until the end of the current turn

At Rogue 3, Blue can pick a roguish archetype. Arcane Tricksters gain the ability to cast wizard spells, relying on their Intelligence modifier to enchant and illuse. This means her Intelligence modifier is added to the attack rolls of spells and the difficulty check of saving throws her spells require. She gains two cantrips from the wizard list alongside Mage Hand, and three first spells, two of which must be enchantment or illusion schools with the third being free of that restriction. In case someone doesn’t know the difference, cantrips are simple magical tricks you can pull off at will, while leveled spells require expending one of your spell slots of a level equal to or higher than the spell’s level. Here’s some options:

Mage Hand: A conjuration cantrip that manifests a spectral hand that can be used to do a ton of really small things like lifting small objects, pulling levers from a distance, that sort of thing. It’s like a tiny ghost thing, which would be perfect if Blue ever picked up, say, a Shuppet or something. Especially with the benefits that Arcane Trickster gives her, as you’ll see down below. Dancing Lights: An evocation cantrip that creates lines of multicolored orbs of light, like fairy lights. It does require concentration to maintain them, but it’s still a nice little spell for its effects. Message: An transmutation cantrip that that allows the user to send a telepathic message to someone they point at, and that individual can respond telepathically. It’s like a walkie talkie, or a cell phone. A shitty cell phone. With a range of only a hundred and twenty feet. Disguise Self: A first level illusion spell that will let Blue take on different appearances. This is essentially her Ditto, able to shift her into the likeness of Sabrina, for instance.  Charm Person: A first level enchantment spell forces a Wisdom saving throw on the target, and if they fail they become charmed by her and basically become her bestest friend while they’re affected. A great way to get what she wants if her own natural charisma isn’t enough.  Find Familiar: A first level conjuration spell that has a buncha random rules, that you’re gonna wanna look up, but it basically amounts to the ability to summon a pet that will stick around and help her out. I’d recommend a pooch of some sort, and since this spell can allow the beast summoned to be considered a different creature type, it could be a fey dog. You know. Like Snubbull. 

Also at this level, Blue gains some swanky upgrades to her Mage Hand spell, letting her use it for more rogue-y things. Additionally, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 2d6:

Mage Hand Legerdemain: When you cast Mage Hand, you can make the spectral hand invisible, and you can perform the following additional tasks with it: -You can stow one object the hand is holding in a container worn or carried by another creature. -You can retrieve an object in a container worn or carried by another creature. -You can use thieves' tools to pick locks and disarm traps at range. -You can perform one of these tasks without being noticed by a creature if you succeed on a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check contested by the creatures Wisdom (Perception) check. -In addition, you can use the bonus action granted by your Cunning Action to control the hand.

At Rouge 4, Blue gets the first of her Ability Score Improvements (ASIs). Let’s take the +2 and put it in Dexterity, bumping that up to 18 for better hit and damage rolls with her rapier and better armor. She also gets another spell, which can be from the enchantment or illusion schools:

Color Spray: A first level illusion spell that releases brilliant light in a cone that blinds a certain amount of hit points’ worth of individuals for one round. It’s not the best way to stall a foe, but it’s certainly in character. It’s a solid use of Flash, which would have been an HM back in the day that I suspect one of her team would have had. 

At Rouge 5, Blue gets another incredibly helpful core feature that makes it a lot easier for Rogues to survive in the midst of combat. And it certainly fits her character, as the Pokemon Adventures trainers aren’t hesitant to get right up there with their foes in battles. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 3d6:

Uncanny Dodge: When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to halve the attack's damage against you.

At Rogue 6, Blue gains Expertise in two more skills (or her thieves’ tools) of her choice. Let’s make her social skills even more busted and take expertise in Deception and Persuasion. 

At Rogue 7, Blue gets a spell, which can now be of second level, and another key feature which makes her even harder to hit than she was before, even by some of the strongest spells in the game. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 4d6:

Mirror Image: A second level illusion spell that functions like Double Team, creating illusory clones that can draw fire, making it harder to hit the real Blue. A handy little technique that I could see Blue making a lot of use of.  Evasion: When you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw, and only half damage if you fail.

At Rogue 8, Blue gets her second ASI and let’s use that to max her Dexterity score at 20 for the best hit, damage, and armor modifiers for her level. She also gets a spell from any school:

Thunderwave: A first level evocation spell that blasts a fifteen foot radius around her with damaging sound, a bit like Hyper Voice, which I have no doubt her Jiggly knows. It’s handy to have magical damage, and with such a focus on utility spells this might be the best option for damage if her rapier won’t cut it.

At Rogue 9, Blue gets another Arcane Trickster feature that makes her oh-so deliciously more capable of messing with her enemies. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 5d6:

Magical Ambush: If you are hidden from a creature when you cast a spell on it, the creature has disadvantage on any saving throw it makes against the spell this turn.

At Rogue 10, Blue gets her third ASI and lets use that to bump her Intelligence by +2 (raising it to 16) for better saves and and hit rolls. She also gets her fourth cantrip and another spell, which again must be from the enchantment or illusion schools:

Ray of Frost: An evocation cantrip that looses a blast of cold energy like some sort of beam or ray of ice. The book says it’s fired from the caster, but I see no trouble flavoring it as tossing out a pokeball to summon a mighty Blastoise to douse a foe with cold water. Some nice damage at range, since cantrips scale up with level, gaining additional damage dice.   Hold Person: A second level enchantment spell that forces a Wisdom saving throw on a foe, restraining them in place if they fail. This is your Whirlpool on Blasty or some sorta weird fairy magic from Jiggly or Clefy. Combine it with Magical Ambush to make it really hard for the enemy to pass the save.

At Rogue 11, Blue gains another spell from the enchantment or illusion schools and another touchstone feature for improving her skills, and let’s just say it’s going to make her a complete monster with the skills she has expertise in. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 6d6:

Sleep: A first level enchantment spell that uses Sing to put a certain number of hit points’ worth of foes in the area to sleep. This is a little more effective than Color Spray and hits over a wider area, but there are times when blinding a foe may be more useful than simply knocking them out. Regardless, a useful spell to have in her kit.  Reliable Talent: Whenever you make an ability check that lets you add your proficiency bonus, you can treat a d20 roll of 9 or lower as a 10.  

Seriously, consider this for a second. A Sleight of Hand check from her at this level has a bonus of +13 (5 from Dexterity, 8 from doubled proficiency). That means the lowest she can roll on a Sleight of hand check is 23. Lowest. That’s crazy. And super amazing for stealing her friends’ wallets before casually handing them back to them.

At Rogue 12, Blue gets her fourth ASI and lets use that to bump her Charisma by +2 (raising it to 16) to make her all the more sociable and manipulative.

At Rogue 13, she gets another spell, which can now be of third level. Blue apparently decided that it wasn’t good enough to be stabbing people and casting spells at the same time and decided to make it so she can really fuck up a single person that was getting on her nerves. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 7d6:

Fear: A third level illusion spell that forces foes to make a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened by some terrifying visage. Why not show her enemies a massive shadowy bird of doom? Oh, they aren’t afraid of birds? Ouch. I suppose ya could spook ‘em with something else though.  Versatile Trickster: As a bonus action on your turn, you can designate a creature within 5 feet of your Mage Hand. Doing so gives you advantage on attack rolls against that creature until the end of the turn.

At Rogue 14, Blue gains another spell from any school and a feature that may not be perfectly in character, but it does extrapolate on how low to the ground her ears can be. And I see nothing wrong with giving characters features that build on their canon:

Tidal Wave: A third level conjuration spell that releases a massive wave of crushing water, dealing bludgeoning damage over a wide area should the targets fail a Dexterity saving throw. This is the best approximation of Blasty’s Hydro Cannon I could find. Blindsense: If you are able to hear, you are aware of the location of any hidden or invisible creature within 10 feet of you.  

At Rogue 15, Blue gets a really handy way to mitigate that lower Wisdom score, something I’d wanted to deal with since the beginning. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 8d6:

Slippery Mind: You gain proficiency in Wisdom saving throws.

At Rogue 16, Blue gets her fifth ASI and honestly her stats look pretty fine, so let’s exchange that ASI for a Feat, and I’d recommend a way to give her more skill proficiencies- as in the Skilled Feat. She also gets another spell from either of her restricted schools:

Skilled:  You gain proficiency in any combination of 3 skills or tools of your choice. Round off her survival skills by taking Survival, Nature, and Animal Handling.  Invisibility: A second level illusion spell that does what it says on the tin, turning Blue invisible for the duration, as long as she maintains her concentration. Really dang handy, and something I suspect could be possible with Ditty, reflecting the light around them to turn invisible or something.

At Rogue 17, Blue gets another Arcane Trickster feature that makes her the bane of enemy casters. Considering her smarts and her knowledge of Pokemon, it does make sense that she’d be able to put her magical know-how to fuck up other people’s days. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 9d6:

Spell Thief: Immediately after a creature casts a spell that targets you or includes you in its area of effect, you can use your reaction to force the creature to make a saving throw with its spellcasting ability modifier. The DC equals your spell save DC. On a failed save, you negate the spell's effect against you, and you steal the knowledge of the spell if it is at least 1st-level and of a level you can cast (it doesn't need to be a wizard spell). For the next 8 hours, you know the spell, can cast it using your spell slots, and the creature can't cast that spell until the 8 hours have passed. Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.

At Rogue 18, Blue gets yet another feature that makes her really damn hard to hit. Kinda terrifying if ya ask me, she’s lookin’ more like a DBZ character with how many options she has to dodge:

Elusive: No attack roll has advantage against you while you aren't incapacitated.

At Rogue 19 Blue gets her sixth ASI and lets also trade that one in for a Feat. I’d recommend Alert, so she’s always making use of her skills to keep an eye on things. She also gets another spell from one of her restricted schools, which can now be of fourth level. In addition, her Sneak Attack dice go up to 10d6:

Alert: Always on the lookout for danger, you gain the following benefits: -You can't be surprised while you are conscious. -You gain a +5 bonus to initiative. -Other creatures don't gain advantage on attack rolls against you as a result of being unseen by you. Charm Monster: A fourth level enchantment spell that does what Charm Person does to people but to monsters. it forces a Wisdom saving throw, and if the monster fails they become Blue’s best friendy-wend. Very handy to stop marauding monstrous beastly Pokemon if ya ask me.  

At Rogue 20, Blue gets her another spell from any school, and her capstone feature, and a pretty solid one at that:

Mordenkainen’s Faithful Hound: A fourth level conjuration spell that yes, may seem a bit odd of a pick, but it’s actually kinda nifty. It summons an invisible dog that guards you for eight hours, chompin’ on anything that gets in Blue’s way for 4d8 piercing damage. Now I said that her Familiar could be Snubbull, and I stand by that, so I suggest you use this spell to emulate her Nido instead. The loyal Nidoqueen already behaves like a guard dog, so it seemed pretty dang fitting to me.  Stroke of Luck: If your attack misses a target within range, you can turn the miss into a hit. Alternatively, if you fail an ability check, you can treat the d20 roll as a 20. Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest. 

See what I mean? A once per short rest instant win button. Call it her Dex Holder plot armor if ya want. 

Final Thoughts

Know how I said Clair was terrifying? Blue is just as much, if not moreso. I’ve already talked about just how busted Expertise is and how good it is on someone like Blue, but let’s look at just how many of her skill checks are going to be amazing. There are eighteen skills in the game, and Blue has proficiency in eleven of them. Hell, she practically has proficiency in the hidden nineteenth skill, Initiative! Alert gives her a bonus that’s only one off of her proficiency, so yeah. Not to mention that four of the skills she’s proficiency in will never roll lower than a 20 on the die, seeing as her +12 proficiency bonus stacks on top of Reliable Talent’s ability to turn anything under 10 to 10. That’s just. Really damn good. The few skills she’s not proficient in are just ones she probably wouldn’t need to take anyway. With only seven skills left, her allies could easily handle them. I mean. Yellow definitely has the Medicine and Religion skills covered, both Green and Red have Athletics no doubt. What’s left? Performance? She’s not good at singing. Stealth? Why be sneaky when you can waltz right in and take what you want? Intimidation? That’s more Green’s thing. Insight? That’s more Yellow’s thing. And ah. That’s all the skills left. Yeah. Blue’s a freakin’ skill monkey. And she’s got great damage with her Sneak Attack and plenty of ways to get advantage so she can always get the big damage off. Not to mention her spells make her a threat even at range, mixing in magical damage to boot.

There’s not many cons. I mean… spell slots are a limited resource, sure, but that’s why you gotta be picky about you use them. We also never boosted her Constitution, leaving her with pretty low hit points throughout the build, even with maximum rolls on the hit dice. But that’s why I always say you roll for stats- You’re more than likely going to get a roll you like better to at least get a small bonus. My advice? If you can get a Constitution score of 14 as a Rogue or some sort of caster, then you are perfectly fine as is. And if ya don’t have the Con, Blue still has a ton of ways to avoid damage with all those features from Rogue. Seriously, twenty levels of Rogue makes for a stupidly infuriating game of cat and mouse, and I’m sure Blue would love that.

I hope you enjoyed this. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am with my choices.

For Winx Alt Con, are you planning to do season 4? If so, how will you handle the "magic returns to Earth" plot point?

I actually have notes up to season six for the Alt Con, getting them down in a coherent order is the problem ^.^

(I also have a few pages of hand written note for an alternative Alt Con which includes WOW in the timeline... kudos to the folks who picked up on the not at all subtle WOW reference already in the Alt Con)

How will I handle the Magic returns to Earth Plot Point?

Massive spoilers for season 3, 4, 5 and 6

Because at the rate I'm going, spoilers are kinder than making you all wait (also: this may no be any kind of coherent, because I am very tired and my coherency checker is still upset that I got her to watch one of my new hyper-focus Chinese Dramas. sorry about that.)

So the backstory goes that Morgana put Earth under quarantine before setting off a targeted Time Dilation field which shunted most magicals all fairies and the Black Circle out of sync with the rest of the Earth and left the planet in a perpetual state of magic drain that no one from off-world could explain.

It's not just the magic of the planet that gets drained though, the magical cores of every new magical on the planet also gets siphoned off leaving only children (whose cores haven't stabilised enough to be siphoned) and low level psychics (whose powers register as just-different-enough from magic to not be affected).(Also fairies who can shield themselves from siphoning, either by personal will and control, or by creating a shielded area in a weak spot in the siphoning spell. (yeah, I mean Eldora.))

This drain happens because the magic is powering the time dilation spell, which is why it was so important that Earth be put under quarantine.

Before the spell went of, Earth's Sea Gate (the magical doorway guarded by Selkies) was forced closed and effectively locked to stop any fluctuations that couldn't be accounted for by the absent fairies. It can only be opened 2 ways, one of those ways is if Morgana unlocks it, the second is if the lock is over written by a higher authority in the Sea Gate's 'system'.

Season 5 was... well it was season 5, I've stripped the majority of it out and used it to pad season 3, timeline now goes season 1, season 2, season 3&5, season 4, season 6. (the existence of season 7 & 8 in the Alt Con are still under consideration.)

Tritannus will be an add-on to Valtor's party, his mutation coming not from pollution, but the Mark of Valtor.

Tritannus is going to be trying to convince the Trix he can get them more power by taking the Throne (the one he was after in season 5) and he'll go off to do that. In his attempt to control its power he'll end up forcing all the Sea Gates open, causing magical disturbances throughout the Magical Dimension.

The Throne is the 'higher authority in the Sea Gate system' and the forced opening includes Earth's gate, and even once the forced open is terminated, the Earth gate will no longer be locked. The Selkies who guard it and would have taken care of the issue were caught up in the Time Dilation field, which means no one is there to realise the gate is effectively still leaking excess traces of magic into Earth's system, slowly (over the course of a few months) over loading the balance of the planet wide spell and causing it to fail section by section. (which is why different fairies are released at different times (possibly alongside other lost magical societies on Earth...))

Once the spell hits 'terminal failure' it just gives up entirely and stops trying to draw magic which means people whose cores had been drained their entire life, have suddenly got their stores of magical energy filling back up.

Now, the Sea Gate of Earth happens to be just off shore of Gardenia, which is why it feels the effects first, and why Bloom is able to feel the magic is very different there when she returns home for summer break.

Once magic is no longer being siphoned off, a lot of people are going to start realising they have magic, (Including one teenage girls who will go from 'intuitive and somewhat empathic' to 'oh shit I'm hearing the voice of a demon sealed in a book in an strange old lady's library and you know what? He seems trust worthy.') which means the fairies and magicals in charge of the various sects and societies that went under the time dilation spell have a few options:

go to war with the current ruling bodies and let hundreds, possibly thousands or millions of innocents die to take back their territories

or

start a bunch of blogs and youtube channels that show off their lives, (presented as a bunch of dedicated LARPers or something) and get people used to the idea of magic being a real thing slowly, while also giving people who are experiencing sudden magical abilities a way to recognise what's going on and an idea of who they should be looking for to help them. (slowly taking over the planet in a peaceful way by causing low key cultural change after low key cultural change until 'oh yeah, I can't believe there was a time when we forgot magic was real.')

TLDR:

Highly abridged cause and effect timeline of the Alt Con:Season 1: the Trix shunt Stella to Earth while she's teleporting so they can steal her stuff and get away with it, but fate introduces Bloom at just the right time, whose dormant Dragon Fire reacts to the presence of magic and activates in the place of Bloom's siphoned fairy magic. Bloom and Stella go to Magix where Bloom meets the Winx and becomes a fairy. The Trix steal the Dragon Flame and summon an Evil army which has a side effect of breaking the last remaining strands of a centuries old seal. Bloom awakens her fairy magic thanks to Daphne and saves the day.Season 2: The ancient seal destroyed by the Trix (by accident) releases Darkar who goes back to his attempt to gain the MacGuffin, through teamwork and grit, the day is saved and Darkar is as defeated as he gets. The Trix are sent to be imprisoned on Omega, an ice world at the edge of the Magical Dimension.Season 3/5: Icy breaks free of the ice coffin she's in before she loses too much strength and frees her sisters, while looking for a way off the planet, she discovers Valtor who was imprisoned on Omega before the Fall of Domino and should have been dead. While seriously weakened, he lives and manages to use the (why do they even have that? Oh right, it's a standard that came with the planet when it was created) sea gate to hack the sea gate system and open a portal to Andros.The Winx split the party and do various stuff, and try to combat Daphne's stalker evil wizard Valtor. When things look to be going the Winx's way, turn coat Tritannus approaches the Trix and offers to get them the power of the Infinite Ocean. While the Winx are defeating Valtor, Tritannus opens all the sea gates (including the locked Earth gate) and the Winx have to rush to stop him, which they do.Diaspro is banished from Eraklyon.Season *: The Winx enjoy normal school life at Alfea for the rest of the year, doing normal teen fairy things, Diaspro goes on a journey in the outer reaches of the Magical Dimension, magic slowly leaks into Earth through the no longer locked sea gate and breaks the archaic spell holding the fairies of Earth and the Wizards of the Black Circle out of time.Season 4: (Alfea summer break/end of year 1) the spell has broken, magic is returning to Earth, Bloom notices something amiss when she goes home for summer break and calls in back up. The group discover magic is returning and set up a shop called 'The Winx Club' to reintroduce the idea of real magic in a non-jarring way to Earth's population, using social media and material objects. Amidst the excitement of magic returning, and new fairies like local girl Roxy, the Winx hear about attacks straight out of their magical history books: fairy hunters. Doing what they can, the Winx try to find and stop the hunters, but run across various returning magical societies during their investigation and diplomacy with them. Earth's mightiest magicals team up and kick the Wizards of the Black Circle's asses.The slow reintegration of magical and non-magical Earth begins.Season 6: (Year 2 of Alfea) Former bestie of Bloom, Selena, has been hearing a voice from a book calling out to her for help, after another fight with Bloom and her 'new friends' Selena agrees to go along with her 'new friend' and attempts to free Acheron from the Legendarium

Savior: Chapter 1 (Gilded Cages)

So this is just me posting this from fanfiction.net I’m only on chapter 9 so far but after Christmas I’m hoping to pick this back.

Summary: (Hellboy 2019) AKA Turning a New Leaf AKA Good Samaritans Need Love Too. The B.P.R.D is tasked to infiltrate a black market creature trafficking ring led by a powerful warlock. Hellboy rescues Phyrra who is found being held hostage, a slave for her magic. He must protect her as she is hunted by her master and his gang of monsters. (AU where Broom isn't dead/Abe wasn't found)

It will be rated M, it will include violence, swearing, smuttiness, all the good things in life.

Disclaimer: Hellboy belongs to Dark Horse Comics/Mike Mignola, I don't own anything except the AU and my OC's.

"What do you think should be done Phyrra?" The elf glanced up at her master, fighting to remain expressionless. What did she think? She could just as easily laugh or cry at the simple question, but she learned long ago that Elias was not swayed by a simpering female.

His gaze was firm on his most prized possession. As he was a creature of few real pleasures, this little human he caught tickled him greatly. He eagerly awaited her answer.

Phyrra hated when he smirked like that, that horrible grimace. It only meant danger, for her, for everyone in the room; it was only silence save for the humans pained breath and the anxious clacking of Rhys's hooves on the marbled floor, the creatures awaited the elf's answer. 

Resolutely her gaze settled on the bloody man in chains before her master's grand desk, his bald head could barely be seen over the rich oak. The pitiful thing was starting to sob, quiet hiccups of air stealing the adrenaline left in his battered body, sweat tinged with blood trailed down the mans face, giving him the macabre illusion he was crying blood. It was an image too vicious for Phyrra to handle, as she weighed her options for the thing to say that would convince this prisoner to be saved.

"The human is obviously contrite. The inventory lost is pennies, and you have much more to gain from the information this one clearly has about Lazarus…." She tried to read the expression on her master's face, should she continue? Phyrra opened her mouth to do so.

"Noted. Mordecai?"

Her jaw clicked shut, he did not like her answer. Movement began to crawl from the shadowed corner, black grotesque shapes curling down the ceiling like slime. The figure shrunk until it evolved into a vaguely humanesque shape, and it stepped forward; eyes glittered like rubies as its glistening fangs barred in displeasure.

"It's obvious Elias. Let's skin this sack of shit." Phyrra felt her skin chill, the mere presence of the vampire setting her on edge. She hated this, the whole situation. How did she find herself in moments such as this?

The answer was quite simple, she was nothing more than a trophy. She should of said what she knew her master wanted to hear; her damnable pride causing her what would no doubt be a firm punishment, and she stood there hoping she would be having dinner tonight. By far she hated being starved the most.

Her master could not physically hurt her, so of course he had to resort to more creative ways to keep his slave in line.

Phyrra was brought back to reality as her master cleared his throat, obviously ready to give his judgement. His long spindly fingers were steeped together, his black nails clicking slowly, an impression of a relaxed bystander. Phyrra snuck a glance at Rhys and tried not to pity him too much for the dejected look upon his bronzed face, wishing that for once her master could maybe ask the centaur's opinion.

"Phyrra is right. Rhys, take the man to our cages and throw him in with the sirens, they'll have there fun. Once they have finished, bring back what is left of him and we'll see if this lips are still sealed tight." Phyrra stood in silence as the idea that the master agreed with her to not kill a human settled over frayed nerves, she had no way to know how to act in moments as these, the slightest ounce of kindness confusing her more than his normal cruelty could.

Rhys had not taken a step forward before the prisoner jolted up, his swollen eyes rolling to the back of his head, revealing the whites.

"I'll die before I let you take me! LONG LIVE LAZARUS!"

Phyrra couldn't help the gasp as time seemed to slow down, inhumanly quick the man had broken free of his chains, a feat that was thought to be impossible, but quickly it was confirmed this was no normal human as the being flung an unseen object at Elias. The object made contact, causing the warlock to stumble back in his chair, the force of the weapon propelling him backwards over the chair.

In a flash of movement, Rhys was charging towards the human, but could not be as quick as the vampire. Mordecai appeared out of seemingly thin air, wrapped his spindly arms around the neck of his soon to be victim. The pressure applied was quick and precise, the snap resounding in the room, the human dropped from his embrace and silence once again enveloped the room.

Mordecai hissed, furious at the pointy haired bitch and his once almighty friend, so easily swayed by the thought of her magic pussy.

Elias pushed himself off the floor with a grunt, quickly looking to his subordinate to gauge their reactions, feeling the blood drip from the newly acquired cut on his face; to say he was embarrassed was a grand understatement, he was furious. What was once a man, a lifetime ago, was replaced by a monster, Elias didn't get to where he was by being understanding and kind towards his fellow creatures.

Phyrra being the only thing to ever be privy to his altruism, his glorious clavis aurea. He didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her, these recent events cautioning him. It was Lazarus, the swine. He was what was making Elias desperate. He had a proud respectable business and that gargoyle threatened everything he had sacrificed everything for, it simply was not done.

"Mordecai, Rhys. Leave. Now." Mordecai didn't have to be told twice, nothing more than mist in seconds. Rhys on the other hand couldn't stop himself from seeking out Phyrra's eyes, needing her to let him know she was gonna be fine. Not looking at him, she slowly ran her finger across her eyebrow in what looked to be just a twitch, but it was their version of 'I'm okay' and an appeased Rhys left the room. He was much too sweet for this place, she often asked him why he worked for such a fiend.

Blatantly Phyrra realized what it was that hit her master. A fingernail. The human had broken off his entire nail when no one was looking and with a superhuman strength broke his chains, attempting to murder her master with it. Any other situation Phyrra would be laughing in an uncontrollable heap on the floor, still she could feel the smile trying to break on her face. It took her own nails biting into the flesh of her palm that brought it back from the brink of breaking.

"Phyrra, if you'd please?" She took a step forward, already beginning to feel the warm glow on her wrist, a perfunctory glance down saw that everything was happening as it usually did: The golden swirls on her outstretched fingers wiggled and weaved on the surface before slowly rising up off her skin, twirling like spun gold in the air, a graceful shimmer that poured melancholy in her heart whenever she used her people's gift for him.

The tendrils of interwoven threads before caressing themselves onto her master's wound, the healing technique was quicker if she physically touched his wound, however Phyrra spared much effort to remain a distance as often as possible. She loathed the way he looked at her the times her magic danced upon him. The tranquil, admiring way he tried to catch her eye always caused her discontent, like they were friendly enough for her to enjoy having her magic used.

Lately he had been acting very strange towards her. The last few decades they had collapsed into a safe routine, but recently he had begun to seek her out in her alone hours. Phyrra tried to strike up polite conversation, recent transactions at the auctions or the new text she was reading at the moment. Phyrra forced herself to not think of the truth, the tense, revolting feeling she got whenever she caught him staring at her. It was so obvious, but Phyrra was in no position to deny him the day he finally had enough of the charade of her youth.

She was no girl anymore; sure when he had first...'Acquired' her, she was still in her fledgling years. As much a child physically as any human of about 14 years. Those days were behind her however as she grew under Elias's care. As was the way of her kind, her body quickly filled out the long limbs, she reached maturity and Elias was quick to change along with it.

"It is all right pet. The inherent light that lives inside of you is one of the qualities I admire in you." 

Phyrra fought the instinct to jerk back as he ran his nails in a gentle caress across her cheek, pushing some wispy trails of hair behind her ears. She couldn't stop the shiver as he continued across the elongated shell.

"You are in no trouble Phyrra, in fact, I'd like to reward you. After we sup tonight, we shall take a walk and I will present it to you." Phyrra stepped back in instinct as her master stood up abruptly, she did not care for the ruse of his calmness moments after what transpired. She was so use to nothing but fury and scorn from him.

"May I return to my room master?" Phyrra saw the blatant disappointment in his eyes, as she quickly added. "I'm just so very tired after healing you, I'd like to nap before I start our meal."

She prayed that the sanguine of her voice was enough to soothe him as Elias took her hands between him, continuing his unwanted attentions to the tattoo of curls on them.

"...Of course you may." He said it slyly, like there was some secret he held. She didn't care about his tone, internally sighing with relief anyway, she could do nothing but allow him to press his cold lips to her forehead, however unpleasant it felt.

Bowing deeply she scampered away as quickly as she dared with her master still watching. Once in the safety of the quiet hallway, the weight relieved off her shoulders, Phyrra took off in great strides to her room, keeping her feet light as she thought about how she might resemble what a gazelle might look like fleeing a lion. The analogy was not lost on her.

As Phyrra reached her door, she felt her skin turn to ice, something was behind her. Before she could even turn she was trapped against the surface of her entrance to her chambers, looking into the garnet gaze of Mordecai.

Out of the frying pan, it seemed.

"Where do you think you're going in such a rush, little lamb? Couldn't stand to be with your master for another second longer?" Mordecai's cruel smile twisted as he applied more pressure to her neck, ecstatic as her expression remained passive, only feeling the skin around her neck slightly bend to his will. Mordecai found her bodies disposition to damage fascinated.

Of course he does. Phyrra thought in disgust, the horrible thing can only comprehend dealing with pain.

"Mordecai, stop this at once." Brave enough in the moment, fueled potently by her anger from earlier. Phyrra pushed hard with her magic, her robes obstructed the full sight of her glowing body, she manipulated the light to blind Mordecai, causing the creature to hiss as he backed up hastily. Forcing him to cover his skin from the heat akin to sunlight coming from her skin, she quickly turned around, fumbled with her door. Scurrying inside to lock behind her just as urgent, her adrenaline causing her to pant in great breaths.

Mordecai opened his eyes, his hands took most of the damage, he realized disoriented. His senses quickly scoping out the stinking beast Elias kept for muscle, looking amused at the altercation he witnessed.

"You know Elias would have your head if I told him about this?" Mordecai sneered at the half man, without hesitation he called the bluff.

"Go on, tell him you dumb animal. I just might have my own tales to tell, like how I see you coming into her chambers at the crack of mornings." Mordecai loved the instant fear that overwhelmed the beast's face. "Did you think you could get away with it?" The vampire was merciless as he was with anything, his cruel words lashing at the centaur just as sure as if he was whipping him.

"I can still smell the virginity on her so I know you haven't fucked her," Rhys flinched at the language he used, which only gave the leech more pleasure, "but all the same Elias would be very displeased at you."

"What are you… What are you trying to get me to confess to?! I protect Phyrra to protect Elias, I am doing nothing untoward her!" Mordecai cackled as the victory of this interaction was clear, Mordecai didn't know why the animal even tried to get the upper hand on such a superior creature that he was.

"I am just telling you we both have our secrets…"

Rhys watched in horror as the bloodsucker slunk away in the darkness, his terrible laughter echoing in the hallway long after it's shadow was gone. Rhys was a creature of a simple life, centaurs were known for their power, strength, loyalty. He got confused easily with all of Elias's dealings, although he did want to remain in as much ignorance as he possibly could. It was much easier to think of Phyrra as a friend to protect than as a prisoner.

Rhys felt immense guilt, but it didn't stop him from raising his meaty fist, poised to knock on the door, before the strangest sounds reached Rhys's ears. It was a heavy thumping coming from down the hall...What the hell was that? Rhys went to investigate...

Unbeknownst to the activity on the other side of her door, Phyrra slowly moved throughout her spacious lodgings, absentmindedly running the brush she grabbed from her vanity through her wispy strands. She felt disconcerted, something was off but she could not pull herself from her weariness.

She didn't completely lie to the parasite. Using her magic was draining for her, her people's magic was a physical extension to their bodies, as much apart of there DNA as familiar genetics. She undressed without thought, shedding her robes to gaze at herself in the full length mirror hung from her wall, ornate and ancient if the inscription was any indication.

Phyrra knew of the beauty she possessed. She was an elf after all, a creature known for its beauty and grace. Her mother was one of the loveliest of her tribe, she came from a long, long line of powerful elves. She also knew that wasn't what her master wanted from her, it was just the extra incentive that kept her in this prison, the magic in her possession the true prize.

Going through her routine to have a bath, she was just pulling the towel around her body when Phyrra stopped short as she looked around her room, where was Binx?

Before Phyrra could even open her mouth to call for her friend, a massive tremor shivered the floor under her feet, her foolish sensitive ears picked up the sound of what could only be described as a brawl. She heard the sound of flesh being hit and a general white noise of commotion. What was Elias moving? Phyrra was used to the strangest sounds on this property, after all when you have a revolving door of the world's most dangerous beings there was bound to be property damage.

Phyrra needed to find Binx, regardless of what might be on the other side of the door. Not for the first time, Phyrra cursed her master for his hatred of her companion, the one thing left from her free life. She was never to bring Binx into his chambers, or around him, ever since he hit her once and broke her wing, Phyrra made Binx promise she'd steer clear of him, stubborn little pixie.

"Binx are you here?!" Panic began to cloud Phyrra's vision, her previous fatigue dissipated in the horror of her lost friend. Grabbing the doorknob with haste, Phyrra gathered the courage to face whatever was going on in this compound.

The door burst open but Phyrra saw nothing but white.

fin

clavis aurea - golden key (latin)

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “The Oct-Father”

Written by: Jake Goldman, Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Leave the reboot, take the cannoli.

Our story begins with Pepe, not the Muppet or that other guy, but a kid with an Italian accent. He's going to make an offer that will probably be refused. Specifically, he's offering his diorama of The Tortoise and the Hare to Princess, in exchanged for Pockets, his pilfered snuggle toy.

This episode is sort of a pastiche on the Godfather. It doesn't entirely reference the plot of the movie, at least not the plot points that are normally parodied, but the style is mostly here. It's a little more subtle than most, mostly sticking to using low-lighting, some psychological elements in the plot, and Princess acting like a Donna. The female equivalent of a Don, that is.

Princess has gained a new habit of stealing these snuggle toys from the poor kids that dared to be away from them for more than five seconds. According to her, these toys don't deserve to be snuggled by these neglectful children, and only by people. By that, she means that they need to give Princess what she wants, including homework assignments.

Unfortunately for Pepe, Princess has standards. Muscle Girl, that's her name as far as anyone knows, deems this diorama B+ worthy at best. Princess doesn't settle for anything less than perfection, and she decides Pockets should stay with her.

Pepe: But I used-a 4-a glue-a sticks on it!

Princess: Should have used 5.

He probably never had a chance anyway.

Muscle Girl then kicks poor Pepe out like a football, kicking off his mouth and nose, too. Joking aside, there's a good use of comedic timing here that got a chuckle out of me. Surprisingly, not the only one in this episode, believe it or not!

Along with being a Godfather-esque episode, this is another episode that seems to entirely focus on Princess's point of view, along with Witch's Crew and Can't Buy Love. They really seem to like this particular character, and yet they couldn't be bothered to give her episodes a unique background for its title card. If anything, it should be blue, because Blossom and Buttercup barely appear in this anyway. At least, I thought that was what the multi-colored backgrounds were for.

Even more fitting to the Godfather, it is Italian Week at Townsville Elementary, and one of the big events is a giant sculpture contest. Princess knows she can win that contest if she gets to bring that. Princess should know, she was the star of the episode where Bubbles actually lifted a building. This one doesn't have any people in it!

Princess does get some doubt from Dancer Guy, yes, that's his name as far as anyone is concerned. Come to think it, it is pretty fitting that Princess refuses to refer to her rap posse's members with their actual names, even if they had them. The Answer Guy knows that Bubbles never lets Octi out of her sight, and Princess takes this doubt quite well...

...by ordering Tiger to tear into Dancing Guy. This becomes a running gag, and I laughed every time it came up. Part of it is just how over the top it is; we even hear some rather violent ripping noises in following shots. There is a lot of violence in this episode, and none of it involved the Powerpuff Girls...yet?

We get a montage that doesn't come with a self-aware song about montages, where Princess tries in vain to steal Octi. She even has an Octi Stunt Double! I can see Bubbles doing that sort of thing.

Princess ends up echoing the Dancing Guy that couldn't dance around the tiger, saying that Bubbles never lets Octi out of her sight. This plot can't go any further until she can steal it, so what could happen? A sleeping potion, courtesy Discount? Princess just pointing somewhere and saying "look, it's Tara Strong"?

No, Bubbles just gets distracted by a butterfly, and then walks in the air in a way that makes her look incredibly silly. I am putting that very mildly, the only grace I can see is that they did not give her a ridiculous facial expression beyond her pupils shrinking. Gotta force that snuggle toy kidnapping somehow, I guess.

She looks around the playground. She looks around the lockers. She looks under the desks, throwing them aside whether they had kids on them or not in another case of random violence in this episode. She even checks the garbage can, continuing a rather interesting to me trend of this reboot putting the Powerpuff Girls in the garbage. In the end, she can't find Octi, and she reacts in a way one might expect.

The next morning, as Blossom and Buttercup are working on their entry in the giant sculpture contest, what looks like a regular-sized spaghetti and meatballs made out of paper mache, they notice that Bubbles is down in the dumps. Not Bubbles The Blue down in the dumps, but "I cried all night" down in the dumps. At least, that's what Blossom and Buttercup was saying; we don't get to see it beyond that "Octi" scream from a scene ago.

As she's holding her coffee cup, she tells the other two not to worry about it, because...

Bubbles: (in an entirely different voice) I'm taking care of it.

Yeah, this joke is a little out of place, even if I could commend them for not even shrinking her pupils here. It's just pure, serious rage, which is what you would expect. That's it, really, there's nothing here that isn't done a lot better in the next scene.

The only other aspect of this particular scene is that it starts a meatball-related gag. It barely comes up and isn't nearly as funny as the tiger mauling scenes, so why bring it up here?

At the school, Princess offers Bubbles a little help with her lost and found situation, but Bubbles decides to refuse that offer. She speaks, in monotone, that she will not play with her, because she only plays with Octi. It's not the kind of monotone where I can question if her voice actress got enough sleep the day before they recorded it, it's an intentional one. It's not really anyone from the Godfather as much as it is Liam Neeson's character from Taken. In fact, it kind of becomes more Taken than Godfather beyond this point.

I was a little taken aback by this character change at first; after that scene and with Bubbles' usual character, you'd think Bubbles would be childishly angry, or keeping a smile on her face while indicating to Princess that she will not like it when she's angry. In a way, that's sort of the point, as even Princess is freaked out by this change of character.

But Princess won't be intimidated by her anti-criminal threats, though she seemingly stops short of telling Bubbles "good luck". She opens her vault, the password being $$$$ because she's a rich girl, and takes out Octi. She then attempts to saw one of Octi's feet off with a sawed knife that she happened to be carrying. I don't think schools would allow that sort of thing, but I'm sure "affluenza" played a part in it.

Dancer Guy interrupts her before she can do that, because, unlike Bubbles and Donny, he can get the mail! He gets punished in the same way; with a tiger mauling by Tiger. She ends up reading the message anyway, and it turns out it's from Bubbles, with one clear message:

"Don't even think about it." Bubbles apparently correctly assumed that Princess would harm Octi...or did she know? Even Princess couldn't answer that.

While Bubbles is out of character, this note is sort of fitting for her. This threatening letter is written in cursive, has crude drawings that need descriptive text, and has little hearts all over it. None of the words are misspelled, and we all know how they love giving the coder the trait of something that causes syntax errors, but I am okay with that. Once again, Princess won't stand down by the threat, but she might need a little help.

She decides to get all the school bullies together, including Big Joey. Not to be confused with Joey the Camp Director or the late Joey the Milkshake That Was Sucked By The Devil. Don't ask. The Big Joey that ended up in Unicorn School in one episode raises the question on why they need to answer to Princess. It's because Princess stole their snuggle toys, too. There is a bit of humor in that these kids look way too old for them.

They manage to find her in the library, and they rush right in...only to come out with utter terror in their eyes. I would joke about how Bubbles probably made one of those horrifying faces, but it does make a lot of sense. Sure, Big Joey is practically the size of the door, but these are just regular children against someone who can fire lasers out of her eyes and lift towers with no problem whatsoever. Even Princess should know this, since the whole point was to get her to lift a tower.

That "steal the Tower of Pisa like Carmen Sandiego" plot gets forgotten, but it's easy to see why it would be forgotten. Princess is in a nervous wreck at this point, not getting a wink of sleep as she desperately clutches onto her stolen toy. Suddenly, a text message comes in, with another rather fitting way for a certain blue octopus seeker.

Princess: Knock knock? Who's there? Me? Uhh...me who?

Bubbles: Me...at your window.

Wow, Bubbles is so serious, she can't even do a proper knock-knock joke. Granted, she probably couldn't even with Octi. Bubbles just suddenly shows up at Princess's home. If the villains seem to know where the Powerpuff Girls live to crash their home, the Powerpuff Girls could know where the villains live, too. Princess adds another question to this.

Princess: But what about my 14 levels of security?

Bubbles: Should have used 15.

That's a good callback, though one might wonder how Bubbles would be able to reference a line she wasn't around for. A coincidence of coincidences? Actually, there's an answer for almost everything here, and one might not like it at first. Princess turns her bed into a giant golden robot suit, and at first, it seems like it works.

And then she gets knocked into the ceiling, and eventually, the robot is punched so hard that Princess falls off of her mansion. Presumably, to her death. Okay, sure, she's falling in what seems to be a grey void, but that is certainly the implication. I was joking about waiting for the Powerpuff Girls to do some violence in this episode; I was not expecting anything like this! Then again, murder might be a bit too much of a punishment for stealing a toy.

It is, as it turns out that it was all a dream. At least, up to the Princess's mansion getting invaded part. On one hand, what a cop out; Princess finally getting a beating for doing some villainous, and it had to be undone with the king of bad plot twists. On the other hand, considering this episode is about Princess psychologically tormented by Bubbles and her threatening stares and letters, it still works! Way to go, making me give a thumbs up to an "it's all a dream" scene.

As Princess eventually realizes said psychological torment will only stop if she gives Octi back, Dancer Guy comes in once again to offer Princess some delicious flapjacks. Noticing Princess is not exactly pleased by his interruption, he decides to snap his own fingers to get Tiger to gnaw on his bones again. I wasn't even expecting a payoff to that running gag, because this is PPG 2016, but color me surprised.

Princess decides to tell Bubbles that she won, giving back her precious toy. However, she wants Princess to give back all of the toys. We're left to question if Bubbles knew about this because of that one confrontation earlier in the episode. She normally doesn't seem that attentive to what's going on around her.

All the kids, at least, they're supposed to be kids, get back those toys, much to their delight. Princess asks if everyone's happy now, proving that she didn't really learn anything, and she gets her own punishment for it. Mauling by a tiger? No, silly, we can't have Princess get hurt outside of a dream!

She just gets crushed by a giant paper mache meatball. Oh yeah, that's what the Blossom and Buttercup plot was building up to. At least the Italian Week Sculpture Contest was not completely forgotten. The episode ends with Bubbles monotonously saying to Princess that if she ever wants to play with Octi again...

Bubbles: (suddenly happy again) Just ask!

(touches Princess with Octi)

Boop!

Again, I was taken aback at first, but after her monotonous and threatening voice in the last few scenes, it's good to see Bubbles happy after she got Octi back. It's a better ending than most endings in this show. When this was a See It First episode, I had a feeling this would be a shoo-in for at least an intended season finale. That feeling turned out to be incorrect, unfortunately.

Does the title fit?

They definitely tried to parody the Godfather, though there's no actual father in this entire episode. Oct-Mother would be more accurate, but it would obscure the reference.

How does it stack up?

Funny running gags, and an actually good attempt at a psychological horror story by kid's show standards. I enjoyed this episode, and not in a "guilty pleasure" sort of way. That's pretty rare.

Next, Sideline Dad? Sitcom Dad? May be more alike than you think!

← Man Up 4: The Donnyest Game ☆ Sideline Dad →

Not Dead Yet (Part 71)

Some stuff happens...eh

Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan

Warnings: language

Tinkerbell and I had been going over the list of ingredients I needed to find and where I would most likely be able to find them. They weren’t exactly easy locations nor were the ingredients common in any regard. It would take time to procure them all. With the supply of magic beans dwindling down I would only be bringing one bean with me to get me back to Neverland after I had found everything. That meant a lot of walking and maybe stealing an unattended horse or two.

If it could save Peter though than it will have been all worth it.

Peter and I were lounging in a hammock lazily rocking side to side as I looked over the list Tinkerbell had given me. “When are you going?” Peter asked.

“Tomorrow morning, get an early start. These won’t be easy to find.” I sighed and folded the list back up.

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

“Depends on how lucky I am. Could just take a couple days but it might take longer. I won’t be gone too long though.” I was hoping that it wouldn’t take more than a week. If it was getting to be that long and Peter hadn’t heard from me then he was allowed to worry.

“Well if there’s a chance I won’t be seeing you for a couple days,” he pulled me up off the hammock, “Then I’m keeping you all night.”

“Hey!” I kicked at him as he dragged me into the jungle, “Peter, I’m going to be leaving early and will need some sleep!”

“Should have thought about that before you told me you’d be gone for a few days.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

As expected Peter kept me occupied for the entire night. I’d be surprised if I got more than two hours of sleep.

“Well as nice as that was I need to leave soon.” I stood up from the bed, “Thank you so much for making me so tired. I am going to kill you when I get back.”

“Y’know,” he pulled me back, “You could always leave later.”

“Why? Just so you can keep me from getting a good night’s rest even longer? No thank you.” I gave him a quick kiss, “I am going to get dressed, find the ingredients, all while thinking of some way to get back at you for keeping me up.”

“You didn’t seem to have any objections last night. Also, if you really didn’t want to all you had to do was say so. You cannot blame your needs on me.”

“You are such an imp.” I muttered as I pulled on my discarded clothes and grabbed a bag of magic beans.

“That’s not what you said last night.”

“I’m leaving.” I pulled the rope ladder down.

“Sure you don’t want a quickie?”

“Goodbye, idiot.”

“See ya.” he waved before falling back against the bed and going back to sleep. Lucky.

I dropped the bean on the ground and I was in a whirlwind to the Enchanted Forest. The morning was very sluggish as I didn’t have any energy. Hopefully I’ll find something soon.

The day flew by but it had been a waste. I made camp ready to continue the search tomorrow.

When the sun had finally crept over the crest of the hills I woke up and tore down my makeshift camp. I wandered into the nearest town but no one was up. Strange. Even for a small town like this people were usually up and bustling by now. Was there a plague going around that I didn’t know about?

“Well if no one’s here then I’m ransacking the gardens.” I hopped a fence and started pulling carrots and apples from the little garden.

That’s when I felt it. A tremor shook through the ground and the wind picked up to dangerous speeds.

I turned around and saw the unmistakable dark smoke of a curse engulfing the land and moving fast. I dropped the food and fumbled for my bean dropping it on the ground. Portal! Where was the--

~~~

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Huh? What’s that? I squinted my eyes open and sighed. Time to get up already? I hit the snooze button on my alarm and sat up in bed. Where did the weekend go? I felt like I hadn’t slept a wink. At least it’s a nice day out.

So weird, I feel like I’m still asleep. Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed up all night. I shuffled over to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. Hopefully school will be merciful this week. Feels like senior year has been dragging on forever.

“Mari? Are you up yet?” mom’s voice called from downstairs.

“Yeah ma,” I called back as I started to dry myself off, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay, if you don’t hurry then dad’s gonna eat your breakfast.”

“Keep him away from my pop-tarts!”

I opened my closet and pulled on my school uniform. Why couldn’t I have gone to a school without uniforms? Oh well, no making this drab get up any better. I ran downstairs where mom and dad were sitting in the kitchen. Mom handed me my pop-tarts fresh out of the toaster. After breakfast I left for school and mom and dad went to work.

“Barrie, Marigold.” Mrs. Peters called during homeroom.

“Here,” I muttered from my desk. She went through the rest of the list of students. I stared out the window waiting for the first bell.

School was a drag as usual. I didn’t have many friends, none at all in fact. I just couldn’t make friends with any of the girls in my class. Don’t even get me started on trying to talk to the boys, that was terrifying all in of itself.

After classes were through I raced home and changed out of my uniform and into some casual clothes. If you looked inside my closet it was a neatly organized mess of peach, mint, sky blue, and lilac. They all looked nice but sometimes it felt as if it wasn’t really me. I’d like to try some darker more edgy kind of clothes but I knew I’d never be able to pull them off. I wasn’t some badass, I was just a babysitter that couldn’t make friends. Speaking of which, I needed to get moving if I was going to make it in time to watch the Anderson twins when they got out of school.

As I was walking down main street passing the faces I had seen everyday and looking up at the cloudy sky a wave of sadness crept through my bones. Was I forgetting something? No. It’s just the bleak weather affecting me. What was there to be sad about when I was home?

~~~

“Pan,” Felix called, “We can’t stay here, it’s not safe.”

“No,” Pan snapped, “We’re not leaving until we find her.”

“We’ve been out here for days, there is no one here! All the villages are destroyed! Whatever happened there are no survivors!” Pan was his friend and his leader so he wasn’t in the habit of telling him what to do but this was insanity.

Over a week went by after Y/N left to find some plants in the Enchanted Forest. When she didn’t return Pan sent Devin out to find her. He was gone for a couple hours before he returned and told Pan that the Enchanted Forest had been pretty much wiped out of existence. Not a soul could be found. Villages, tiny farms, and even castles had been destroyed.

Since then Pan and the boys had been searching the Enchanted Forest and other realms trying to find her. Seeing Pan like this brought back memories of when Y/N almost was killed by pirates. The desperation was something Felix hadn’t seen before, at least not this strongly.

“She’s out there, she’s too stubborn to die.” Pan muttered and kept on walking.

“Pan please,” Felix stressed, “We have searched every corner of this realm and every other realm. If Y/N is alive she would have called for the shadow long ago.”

The grass at Pan’s feet turned yellow and started to wither. “Don’t you think I know that? But she’s not dead, I know she isn’t.”

“Then where is she? Why can’t we find her? You have to stop pretending and accept the reality for what it is. Whatever happened here killed everyone, including Y/N. Now call off this wild goose chase and let us go home!”

Pan used his magic to throw him back. Felix was on the ground unable to move and Pan had a fireball in his hands ready to throw. Felix stared back at his leader in mounting worry before the fireball extinguished itself. The force keeping him down lifted and Pan turned away. He threw Felix a bean. “You want to go back to Neverland then go, take the boys with you.”

“Pan…”

“I said to go!” he growled. This wasn’t the time to test his luck more than he already had.

“See you back at camp.” Felix called for the boys to gather round and they all jumped through the portal leaving Pan alone. The heat of an immense fireball catching the surrounding trees on fire wafting against the back of his neck.

~~~

Peter sat in the center of a massive ring of charcoaled grass and smouldering trees. Venting hadn’t helped as he had hoped. He was drained and tired and miserable. Terrible thoughts mocking him relentlessly.

Y/N is missing.

She said she wouldn’t leave. She should have stayed on Neverland. He should of never let her go. Not without him.

Y/N is all alone.

Fear. That was a new feeling. Absolute fear.

Y/N may be hurt.

Why couldn’t he find her? Why wasn’t she calling for help?

Y/N could be being tortured right now.

She’ll be home soon. Y/N will be home soon!

Y/N may be dead.

She’s too stubborn to die.

She may be dead and it was all his fault.

No.

She’s dead and it was all his fault!

No!

Another wave of fire sent the already charred surroundings aflame once more.

Please be safe. Please pet...please come home.

~~~

“They didn’t find her?” Tinkerbell looked at Wendy.

“No. According to Felix the entire forest is gone. Y/N can’t be found.”

“Alright then, next step is to keep Pan from going off the deep end and destroying the island.”

“If he ever finds out about this--”

“So long as no one says anything he never will.” Tink assured her, “How about some tea? The kettle just boiled.”

“Sure.” She took the offered cup, her hands shaking. “Nothing like something warm to erase the guilt.”

(First) (Previous) (Next)

FoZ Notes 1

In part as an attempt to force myself to finish Familiar of Zero and move on to Twig, I’m going to be posting my notes to Tumblr, one volume worth of notes per day. I can read an entire volume in a day if I don’t put it off, it’s just so stomach-churning I struggle to make myself.

We’ll see if it works.

-----------------------

Familiar DETERMINES affinity. Interesting implications for crossovers. Though really it's probably more like "this is how we discover your affinity". Familiar runes take a minute to apply, uncomfortably hot. (Inconsistent whether it's "just a moment" or more on the order of a full minute) Occurs post-kiss. No explanation or justification is given for why Louise kissed Saito on the lips, rather than the forehead -I find it difficult to believe the ritual actually demands lip-to-lip contact, given some of the creatures being summoned. Louise is treated badly, openly, with authorities (Colbert, in this case) not interfering unless she pushes back. People essentially ignore Saito. Unclear if it's because he's a Familiar or because he's being interpreted as a commoner. Unclear why everyone assumes he's a commoner -how would they know he's not a mage? Louise finds it plausible Saito has never seen a few magical beasts, including griffons, by virtue of interpreting him as a commoner. Saito passed through a "sparkling mirror-like object", which was elliptical, floated above the ground, and had no thickness at all. He felt electrocuted passing through, though only mildly. Two giant moons. Louise is quick with the groinshot when Saito seems to be attempting to rape her. (Because Saito is a fucking moron) Claim that familiar contract is unbreakable. Skeptical. No commentary on whether the summoning step is too late on a physics level or just on a social level. On the social, unclear whether Louise was entrapped in general or only specifically by the fact that she'd failed repeatedly prior to summoning Saito. Louise is near-instantly convinced by a laptop. Never mind that it wouldn't be anything other than a glowy metal thingy to her, and never mind that she doesn't know all there is in the world to know... "I've never seen anything like this" she says about the glowy metal thingy. So? Proves nothing. Louise refuses to actually try re-doing the Summon Familiar spell. Cites reasons, ignores how the situation is extraordinary. Saito, being a moron, gives up instead of pointing out that if this is unprecedented they might as well try. Familiars' senses can be tapped. But not Saito's, because that would be too consistent. Inexplicably, Louise assumes that if Saito were to go home, she could summon a new Familiar, having previously insisted only death ends the contract. Possibly she's being dismissive or treating "going home" as a euphemism? Louise is disturbingly at ease with slotting Saito into the Familiar/property/object mental slot. I assumed the 'comfortable being naked around Saito' thing was some commoner/noble thing she was doing, but no, she's treating it like getting naked around a pet. Louise is quick to punish disrespect by withholding meals. Kirche has a Charmander. Flaming tail (which apparently proves it's from the Fire Dragon Mountains) and the size of a tiger. Constantly heating the area up, passively. [Note from the future: the story seems to essentially forget about her Charmander past the first couple of volumes] Oddly, dialogue implies Kirche knew her affinity was fire before she summoned her Familiar? Or just bad writing/translation. Brown/black/purple cloaks for first/second/third years. Louise and her peers are second years? Seems... odd, given the primacy of affinities. Why didn’t they summon as first years? [Note from the future: even though we only hear about three years, Louise is still in the Academy more than three years later into canon. Consistency, what’s that?] Familiars are barred from the main hall, at least during breakfast. Louise somehow requested Saito be exempted without him knowing, which seems wildly implausible. "Oh, Great Founder Brimir, and our lady, the Queen, we thank you for this humble meal that you have graciously provided us this morning," is said by all students, simultaneously, before breakfast. Somehow Kirche's Salamander can sleep underneath her chair, curled up. I thought it was as big as a tiger, minimum? Floating eyeball creature=bugbear. (??) Teacher Chevreuse is an enabler of people being horrible to Louise. As per the first teacher (Colbert), she only intervenes when Louise fights back. She at least does punish people for giggling when a student insists that Louise really is a "Zero"... The "basics" of Earth is transmutation. Not manipulation of the dirt or whatever, alchemy. Chevreuse has never worked with Louise before, and strangely is unaware of her explosive results. Just heard of her being a "hard worker". Inconsistent as to whether chanting is necessary or just "concentration" for running spells. [Note from the future: it gets worse. So much worse] Headmaster Osmond is irreverent. He's basically Perverted Straight Dumbledore. Saito is a dumbass asshole and now I know why he sees nothing wrong with how Louise is treated. Oh god. The author wants us to think Saito being an asshole is somehow noble, too. "Nobody" has been "kind" to Siesta the maid since she showed up at the castle. Saito being grateful for eating at all is some giant shock that causes her to burst into tears, because this is such a pleasant world you see. Saito hopes Guiche would just die, because he views the boy as a horrible narcissist. Glares of death, etc, leading all the way up to getting into a fight with the guy and refusing to back down. This is particularly horrible because Saito isn't exactly holding himself to monogamy on any level, so his loathing of Guiche is basically either hypocrisy or an obnoxious form of self-loathing. Guiche is also a moron, boasting openly about how he's a playboy and then immediately expecting one girl in earshot to believe she's the only one for him. Even if it weren't for Montmorency's perfume falling out of his pocket... really, Guiche? Guiche gets pissy with Saito, frames things as "two girls' reputations have suffered". What? Because you're a two-timing asshole, their reputations suffer? What kind of insane troll logic is this? Guiche's own toadies are quick to recognize that if Guiche hadn't been two-timing them, this wouldn't have happened, though, so he's maybe half-effective at spinning things, if that. So many cases of chantless casting. Saito is implied to have been made into the Gandalfr by Louise contracting him, having been genuinely ordinary before then. Suggests that whoever Louise summons and makes into her familiar becomes the Gandalfr, rather than Saito having an internal quality that makes him such. Longueville has the subtlety of a freight train. ("I'm very interested in this vault and how to break into it for entirely innocent reasons and every time the conversation moves away from that I promptly drag it back to that”) Colbert is a moron and somehow fails to figure out what's up with her. Kirche sleeps with a LOT of people. And is too stupid to avoid having three separate dates (one of which was three boys at once!) show up the same night within minutes of each other. She also frames her actions in such a way as to absolve herself of responsibility for her decisions at every step, that being a Zerbst means she's 'destined' to fall in love with people on sight and blah blah blah. I don't think the author understands how agonizing being whipped is.

Gandalfr weapon competency goes past "master-tier" and into "overtly laughing at physics" -acknowledged by the story, itself.

Kirche is very deliberate in plotting to steal Saito for the express purpose of fucking with Louise. Everyone in this story is horrible. [Note from the future: the author apparently forgets that Kirche is a horrible person and switches over to her being Louise’s best friend after Henrietta, and acts as if this was always true]

Also, Kirche bullies her "best friend", Tabitha, by using her height to keep her book away. Which isn't really anything that should work, but Kirche is still an asshole.

Yes, Tabitha has to specify to her dragon that the people they are following are not to be eaten, as a casual assertion she apparently makes on a routine basis. Yikes. [Note from the future: this never crops up again and doesn’t fit with later characterization. Consistency!]

The academy is apparently only a few hours-by-horse away from Tristain's palace.

Mages/nobles wear capes in Tristain to signify their status. Saito is stupid enough to assume that no cape=no mage.

Bizarrely, an arms dealer is quick to guess Saito is Louise's familiar on the basis of her clarifying she's buying a sword for her familiar??

Fouquet (ie Longueville) has been stealing stuff, unclear whether it's Tristain-the-city or Tristain-the-country, stated to specifically be from nobles. People know it's a mage. Later implied to be Tristain-the-country.

I like how the shopkeep is obviously long-suffering about Derflinger.

Derflinger asks if Saito is a "user" hinting that he knows or suspects Saito's nature. We're also given the impression Derflinger can't speak when sheathed. [Note from the future: Astoundingly, they actually stick to this consistently. Yes, I know, I’m amazed too]

Kirche's idea of haggling is to basically strip as the other party goes lower with their offers. She is, quite frankly, creepy.

"The royal mage guards" -implying the royal family has nobles as full-time guards?

Fouquet steals, taunts, lets everyone know it was her. Either transmutes walls into dirt/sand or summons a giant goddamn golem to smash her way in.

Somehow, Louise knows nothing about Tabitha, didn't even know she's friends with Kirche.

Fouquet can walk on walls. Probably an earth spell. [Note from the future: nobody ever do this ever again and the implications are entirely ignored]

Fouquet instantly feels Louise's explosion is unprecedented, because of course she does, can't not drop nonsensical hints that she's more than the Zero, can we?

Saito is a moron who can't imagine he can roll while tied up. Louise is a moron who can't come up with a better answer than "untie Saito" when he's tied up and about to be crushed.

Louise, in a moment of frankness, admits "no respectable" master would abandon their familiar. Interesting. Honor and duty, Louise?

Fouquet is perfectly comfortable incidentally murdering people with her golems. Wow, lady. Also, she can apparently alter the golem's composition and give it orders? Are the fans SURE characters can only run one spell "actively" at a time? [Note from the future: Yes, no, maybe, depends on the author’s mood, the position of the moon, etc. In a word? Whatever suits the story this very second]

Chevreuse was sleeping instead of on watch like she was supposed to be.��Wow. Maybe Longueville did something?... [Note from the future: no, because why rite gud?]

Longueville reports herself. Guessing trap.

Osmond calls for volunteers to go after Fouquet. No teachers volunteer. Louise volunteers, because no one else did. Kirche volunteers, refusing to be shown up by a Valliere. Tabitha volunteers, because "she's worried", presumably for Kirche.

Tabitha is already a 'Chevalier', a title conferred by imperial authority and earned by merit. In short: she did something fucking AMAZING already. Osmond knew this, pretty much no one else did, Kirche included. It's the lowest such title, but whatever.

People don't count Saito as a person, seriously.

Longueville comes with... definitely a trap.

Kirche assumes that Longueville, as a mage, must be a disgraced noble, after Longueville says she's not a noble. Louise blocks Kirche attempting to dredge up whatever disgrace might have happened, because Louise is considerate and conscientious when it comes to honor.

Kirche continues to dodge responsibility for her own decisions. Indicates she only volunteered because Saito would be in danger.

The group is astonishingly professional about coming up with and implementing a plan. What are they, Naruto ninja?

Bafflingly, Kirche hitting a golem with a fireball... lights the thing on fire? What kind of clay is it made of, exactly?

Louise continuing to prove she is about Honor And Duty, also pointing out Saito's hypocrisy.

"Staff of Destruction" is a rocket launcher... and is somehow already/still loaded?? Close-range explosion fails to spray our heroes with lethal shrapnel because shut up.

The trap was so Longueville could find out how to use the rocket launcher. She monologues because shut up.

Chevaliers for everyone! Except Saito, because he's not a noble, and Tabitha because she has the rank already. [Note from the future: the author apparently completely forgets about this in later volumes, as we get a scene where Louise not getting a Chevalier title is treated as if she’s actually missing out in like Volume 15. Or maybe it was 14?]

Rocket launcher came with an unfortunate soldier who saved Osmond from a dragon.

Oh jeez. Derflinger going "clothes really do make the man!" in reference to Louise.

Louise admits she didn't REALLY believe him prior to the rocket launcher thing.

End volume 1.

----------------

Overall plot arc: Fouquet/Longueville steals rocket launcher, is stopped.

There's also dropping hints of why the protagonists (Louise and her familiar) are the protagonists, but not much payoff as yet.

Bungou Stray Dogs OCs

Hi Everyone! So, in case you didn’t know (since I just happened to not talk much about it much on this blog), I watch Bungou Stray Dogs and I’m currently reading the manga. Today, I started thinking of some OCs using the same character modeling system that BSD uses when creating their characters based on authors. However, all of the OCs I’ve been brainstorming are 20-21st century authors, i.e. the ones who’s works I grew up reading. I’m hoping I can make my own little BSD fanfiction with these OCs some day. Let me know what you think. Make note; this is limited only to works I have read. I do intend to put Neil Gaiman on this OC list after I read “American Gods” which is his most famous work. Also, if this gets enough attention, I’ll post some character designs here.

America

Protagonist Organization

Isaac Asimov (either the leader or a most respected member)

Gift: I-Robot (allows him to grow extra body-parts including limbs, heads, eyes (so he can see the back of his head), etc)

Age: fifties

Appearance: Shirt and vest. Often seen smoking.

Lemony Snicket (not the leader, but one of the most respected members)

Gift: A Series of Unfortunate Events (once someone has been attacked, they are given bad luck)

Past: Became an orphan in his teens after his family perished in a terrible fire. He was falsely accused of causing that fire and had been on the run since then. Joined the antagonist organization until he later decided that it was better to be part of the organization that helps people rather than hurts people.

Skills: Intelligent. Heavy reader, skilled technician. When he was little, he had sharp teeth. He’s also a good cook.

Age: Late twenties-early thirties

Appearance: Tall, thin, always wearing a suit, wears glasses, slick black hair.

Annie Proulx (Protagonist)

Gift: Brokeback Mountain

Past: Grew up in the south mid region of America. Was disowned from her family for being gay. Lived on the streets until she was found by someone in the organization who then makes her part of it.

Had a secret girlfriend in high school named Jackie who died from [what killed Jack in Brokeback Mountain]

Age: 18

Suzanne Collins

Gift: The Hunger Games (she can take away an element from something, for example, the oxygen from a human, the sulfur from ashes, nitrogen from fire, etc)

Past: Was in an Izumi Kyouka situation where she has an ability that can easily kill people and was brought up by a mafia who nudged it into her mind that that’s all she’s capable of. All her life she has wanted to save lives.

Originally apart of the antagonist organization and, later in the story, joins the protagonist organization.

Age: 16

Ray Bradbury

Gift: Fahrenheit 451 (fire powers, duh)

Age: 20s

William Golding

Gift: Lord of the Flies (Makes swarms of flies from nowhere)

Age: 12 (though he probably should be older in this story)

Appearance: Pre-teen boy in a ripped-up white shirt and jeans

Harper Lee

Gift: To kill a Mocking Bird

Appearance: Brown Skinned

Past: Grew up in Alabama

Age: 20

Antagonist Organization

Gail Clarkson Levine

Gift: Ella Enchanted (forces people to do what she tells them)

Looks: long spakly dress from out of a fairy tale, long braided brown hair with a silver thread woven in, tall.

Past: Mother’s dead, father remarried, step mother and step sisters treated her like a servant and told her what to do all the time and that was how her power was born.

Skills: Great singer

Age: 21

Madelyn L'Engle

Gift: A Wrinkle in Time (makes tesseracts allowing her to travel in both time and space)

Looks: Teenage girl with glasses, long flowing brown hair

Past: Didn’t fit in at school but was the smartest in her class. Avoided talking when she was little so she didn’t have to sound more intelligent than an average kid.

Skills: Critical Thinking, physics

Age: 18

Lloyd Chudley Alexander

Gift: The Black Cauldron

Lois Lowry

Gift: The Giver

Elaine Lobl Konigsberg

Gift: From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

Looks: old woman, librarian like costume

Profession: Art Librarian

Age: 70s

Lewis Sacher

Gift: Holes (literally make holes, including holes in one's luck)

Past: He used to be a gym teacher, in that time, he was called Lewis the Yard Teacher. Has spent time in jail for stealing a pair of sneakers owned by a famous basketball player. Absolutely despises the American government for this reason.

Age: Early-mid thirties

Shel Silverstein

Gift: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Christopher Paul Curtis

Gift: Bud, Not Buddy

Appearance: Brown-skinned, white shirt and overalls

Age: 16

Skills: Saxophonist

England

Joanne K Rowling

Gift: Harry Potter

Age: thirties

Joan G. Robinson

Gift: When Marnie was There (makes a ghost called Marnie who can alter someone’s memories or perceptions of reality)

Past: Grew up at a lake house in Northern England

Clive Staples Lewis

Gift: Narnia (It’ll be something to do with magical animals)

Past: Grew up in Ireland and moved to England in his adulthood

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

Gift: Lord of the Rings (makes golden rings appear from his hands which are under his control)

Past: He fought in Afganistan

Roald Dahl

Gift: Either Matilda or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

George Orwell

Gift: 1984 or Animal Farm

Germany

Cornelia Funke

Gift: Herr der Diebe (The Thief Lord) (She can steal objects and people from books by reading those books aloud, any other way this power works, refer to Inkheart)

Appearance: Blond hair in a ponytail, wears a trench coat and a matching boy’s hat of some kind. Dresses in a shirt pants and suspenders.

Past: She used to be a thief on the streets, ever since her parents died and she ran away from her orphanage. She’s always loved reading.

Sweden

Astrid Lindgren

Gift: Pippi Longstocking

DC MOST POWERFUL FEMALE HEROES.

Most have that big crush on superheroes, all down to the screams of excitement whenever the hero beats the bad guy. But, believe me, the heroines are way better. Captivating, strong, powerful, beautiful, sexy, fearless, and some are not afraid to put a man in his shoes. Even though many of the heroic qualities of these female protagonists, are ignored, or left out, or overshadowed by the man dressed in his super cloak and super beauty, and super something. Some heroines are neglected even in feature films, (for those who have had one), if you do a quick search, you will see that although Hollywood has begun to produce the sagas from the comics to the theaters, the vast majority is about men, the guys, bros. But seriously, this is no problem, right? Some female heroes simply steal the scene, and they can be absolutely everything, except tedious, boring, or weak.

That's what happened with the movie Batman vs. Superman, which for many fans, DC production would have been a complete failure, were it not for Wonder Woman's participation. And between us, I completely agree. So, I separated this post, to talk about some of DC COMICS's most powerful female superheroes, it's worth remembering that this is a list of heroes, so do not bother if some very powerful or anti-Heroic villains are cut off. Soon I will make a special list about them.

4. Zatanna

Perhaps, the most powerful sorceress in the DC universe. The character was created by Gardner Fox and Murphy Anderson, and first appeared in Hawkman #4 (November 1964). But, what makes her so special? Well, theoretically this girl can beat Superman. her powerful magic, can do all sorts of spells. And, a fack, she has the genetics at her side, since she is the daughter of Zatara, a powerful wizard.  Zatanna is a member of the Justice League and the Justice League Dark, a team that brings together the best characters with access to mystical forces. With her magic, Zatanna can control any of the four elements. She's one of my favorites...

Generally, Zatanna casts her spells with only a few verbal expressions. However, she has already proved she can perform her magic with gestures.

“The limits of her powers have never been clearly established. She is often depicted working alongside the most powerful magic-users on Earth, including Circe, Madame Xanadu, John Constantine, Enchantress and Doctor Fate. She has used her powers to command elemental forces, heal, transmute and transmogrify objects, manipulate minds, and attack her opponents with energy blasts. She has resurrected the city of Metropolis from ruin. Merged Aquaman's spirit with the entire ocean in the finale of the "Obsidian Age" story arc, and manipulated time and space.”

That should explain why she's on that list.

3. Mera

I already spoke about her here, in my brief review on the Aquaman. However, Mera is much more than the wife of the King of the Seas.

She definitely can do anything with the water, having total control over it. But her powers do not stop there. Everything in this woman is far, far beyond human limits. Super strength, speed, endurance, telepathy - Mera manages to communicate with other Atlanteans through telepathy, interdimensional travel, hydrokinesis, are just a few of the little things she can do. Queen Mera, also has other attributes in her personality, her moral code, fair, friendly to the people, would do anything to defend Atlantis in battle. And, let's not talk about her when she gets angry....  

She is, someone you would surely want to be by your side in a battle.

2. Supergirl

Here's a short list of the powers of this very cool alien.

Agility. Berserker Strength. Energy Absorption. Flight. Healing. Heat Vision. Ice Breath. Invisibility. Invulnerability. Levitation. Longevity. Marksmanship. Omni-lingual. Sonic Scream. Stamina. Super Hearing. Super Sight. Super Smell. Super Speed. Super Strength. Tracking. Unarmed Combat. Vibration Wave. Wind Bursts.

Should I keep going?

That’s a lot of supers, and you definitely would not want to fight with her. Kara Zor-El. Kara is much more than Superman's cousin, who got stuck in the ghost zone during her trip to our planet. She possesses the powers of a normal Kryptonian, for us terrestrials it is quite extraordinary. Basically, her powers are quite similar to those of Superman.

Kara is one of the most powerful characters in the DC universe, and had several versions over the years. Supergirl has survived battles with villains that would make any other to get cold feet. She's pretty brave and does not mind getting into a fight, not to mention her uniform, that skirt is certainly fatal.

1.Wonder Woman

A founding member of the Justice League. Diana is definitely the most well-known female character in the DC universe, and the most powerful. The Queen of the Amazons, Daughter of Zeus and Queen Hippolyta. Only by her divine offspring, we can have an idea of ​​what she is capable of.

In addition to having access to mystical accessories that are capable of truly unbelievable feats, her powers are simply exceptional. To many, she is the strongest female character in fiction, not only for her powers, but for what she represents. Diana is a embassator of peace and equality, example and inspiration for other heroes, even within comics, there is a certain devotion and respect for her. Besides her super strength, she can fly, self-regenerate, and is theoretically invulnerable. Not afraid to say this here... she's a goddess.

That’s it. Soon, I will talk more about these characters, their stories, their main antagonists, weaknesses and what makes them so formidable.

They’re Here… To Stay: 36 Years of POLTERGEIST

You can probably remember the first time you watched a scary movie, your first horror movie – and that stomach-quenching, sweat-inducing, hair-raising feeling it gave you.  When I think of the one that sent the good old-fashioned electric chills down my spine (and still does to this day no matter how many films I consume),  my mind instantly lands on the eerie illuminated silhouette of a little girl sitting in front of a television set with her hands flat on the screen. I think of Poltergeist.

Poltergeist, Tobe Hooper’s 1982 film revolves around the family and home of Steve and Diane Freeling played by JoBeth Williams (The Big Chill, Kramer vs. Kramer) and Craig T. Nelson (The Skulls, The Devils Advocate) and their children Dana, played by Dominique Dunn, Carol Anne played by Heather O’Rourke, and Robbie, played by Oliver Robbins. Strange supernatural occurrences progress into a relentless haunting. When the youngest of the Freeling children disappears into thin air, Steve and Diane, with the help from a seasoned medium and a few knowledgeable paranormal investigators, are forced to face their fears together as a unit in order to rescue her from the malevolent spirits of the undead.

Since it turns 36 years old today, I’ve decided to honor it by listing 36 reasons why it is such a great film, in no particular order.

“Now…hold onto yourselves.”

    1. It’s a classic haunted house story.

Why are haunted houses so scary? It’s a pretty simple answer on the surface that can set roots down and dig deep. There is something terrifying about the defilement of your own home, your sanctuary, and that is exactly what happens to The Freeling Family and their home, sweet home. It’s worse when that defiling comes at the hands of an unknown, malevolent omnipresence. Because of all the reasons below, plus more, Poltergeist continues to hold rank as one of the most memorable haunted house films.

  2. The main characters are extremely average.

Characters of a film, whether horror or not, should stand out in some shape, way, or form. Writing an original personality or sculpting a character to fit the ‘unique’ mold is not an easy task. What makes The Freeling Family so special? Nothing at all. The fact that they are a totally average, American family makes them ironically unique in the genre.

However, this nuclear family is relatable to most audiences. And if your audience identifies with the character, whatever is happening on-screen to the characters makes the audience feel like it’s happening to them. When we identify, we empathize, we make ourselves vulnerable to all the feelings and that includes fear.  I don’t know about you, but I have zero desire to slide across the kitchen floor due to some magical unseen force, thank you.

  3. It all takes place in suburbia.

Going hand-in-hand with characterization, the setting plays a major role in the quality and effectiveness of the film. Poltergeist’s haunting takes place, very purposefully, in a home of a neighborhood that you and I could easily find ourselves living in or already living in. Again, we can identify with The Freelings.

One random situation about Poltergeist that always stuck with me occurred in the end when Diane’s is trying to get back into her house to battle paranormal Beast once more for her children. She frantically tries to get back in the house – alerting the apprehensive, and no doubt frightened neighbors, begging them for help. It’s a very small detail, but unlike a lot of films where the inhabitants of surrounding houses all seem to disappear when our protagonists are in danger, The Freelings’ neighbors do what any normal people would do: check out what the hell is going on outside and then go back to being of no help at all. It adds realness to the setting. I mean, if I was running around half-dressed screaming into the dead of night my neighbors would come to help me out…or at least pretend to attempt to.

  “You only moved the headstones!”

  4. The motive behind the haunting is simple.

What ruins many supernatural stories is the inability to explain why the occurrence is happening in the first place. This is where filmmakers are thrown off and the story folds on itself becoming a convoluted mess. Poltergeist keeps it simple: the lovely suburban neighborhood is constructed on an Indian burial ground and the lazy, greedy contractors failed to remove the bodies. They moved the headstones, but that’s about as good sweeping dust under a rug. There is paranormal lore to back this situation up too! Well, this dust is pissed its sleeping ground is soiled by the living and retaliates by dragging your daughter into the realm of the dead to steal her life force. Next time, make a check list.

  5. The ‘curse’ of Poltergeist.

Of all the conspiracies and oddities of Hollywood, the curse supposedly put on those who worked on Poltergeist is by far my favorite. There is far too much to discuss here so I will leave you to do the reading separately. It’s totally worth a Google, but I will tell you it ranges from the uncommon terminal illness of the star to random tragic deaths of crew members that are full of what could just be interesting coincidences or the workings of the dead. You decide. Either way, the speculation adds a hint of spookiness to Poltergeist that most films (I guess, thankfully) don’t have.

    6. Tangina Barrons.

By the time the helpful medium shows up to save the day, the poor Freelings are at the end of their rope and we, as an audience, are too. For so many reasons the elderly woman is a huge sigh of relief for The Freelings, they now have some hope of saving their daughter with help from an experienced pro, and for us, we can breathe with the help of some comic relief provided by Tangina. Her unfazed demeanor and confidence in facing the menacing spirits is quick to calm everyone… before things get bad again. Yet still the sweet old lady pushes the family through as any strong matriarch would. Who you gonna call? Tangina.

  7. Coulrophobia.

Of course with the recent success of Andy Muschietti’s IT and the iconic stature of Stephen King’s original film, when most people think of clowns their mind conjures up Pennywise. But those of you old school kids will think of the awful, possessed clown doll that taunts and then attacks Robbie, the middle child. It’s an iconic scene and may have well induced more Coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) in the masses since John Wayne Gacy.

  8. Tangina’s Life After Death monologue.

To detail a little more about the realm of the immortal, Tangina explains the life after death theory to Diane and Steve. She tells them about the light we see when we die, how some move on, and some don’t. The way in which actress recites her lines, as delicately and lovingly as a mother tucking her children in to sleep at night, puts The Freelings and viewers at ease with the inevitable destination we all reach at some point. Her delivery is cathartic and honest. The mood shift that occurs when she adds the warning about the hate and rage of the Beast that surrounds them is almost palpable and puts us right back into a state of fear before following The Freelings to rescue Carol Anne from it. In my opinion,  simultaneously the most comforting and unsettling monologue in all of cinema.

  9. The third act’s third act.

Poltergeist succeeds so well where a majority of horror movies fall flat. The third act is powerful, quick, relevant, and scary. Diane retrieves Carol Anne from the dead, the house is clean, and the family settles down thinking everything will go back to normal. SIKE. The spirits are even more pissed and attack the family with more hate and gusto than ever before. It’s everything the ending of a horror movie should be and more. Poltergeist lets you know that the dead aren’t removed so easily, death is constant. That rug will be moved one day, so it’s best to get a vacuum.

  10. Palette-cleanser.

As a little ‘a-ha!’ jab in the very end (the real end), The Freelings flee to a motel. Like a tired family returning from an amusement park, they slug inside only for Steve to wheel out the television. That family takes no chances. It’s another little detail that makes us laugh a little and after sitting through two hours of ghosts and beasts and the un-dead was very much needed. The Freelings’ good humor is the perfect end note. I wonder if they were able to actually sleep that night?

  “They’re here…”

  11. One-liners galore!

Mr. Spielberg knows how to write a line and Poltergeist is full of them. We still quote it to this day. Be it a clever one liner or some of the best dialogue in horror, Poltergeist is an expert piece filled with meaning and “many hearts”.

    12. The mundane becomes monstrous.

Is a piece of raw meat scary? It is after you watch Poltergeist! This film takes normal, domestic things like trees, toys, the family pool, a lamp, furniture, and, especially, your television and turns them into terrorizing vessels of the dead’s biding. I’m still afraid I’m going to walk out of a room and walk back into it only to find the furniture all disheveled and randomly stacked up. Almost 90% of Poltergeist takes place in or around the Freeling property containing this ongoing ghostly assault within the one space a person is supposed to feel the most safe. The choices for scares are smart because they make the normal abnormal and the simple petrifying. The dead use the objects of The Freelings’ house to enact their revenge on them, a tactic like this is pretty personal and hits very close to home.

  13. The visual effects were, well… effective.

I have no choice but to keep this point and then next short as they could be discussed at great length. Poltergeist was made during a time where visual effects either made or broke a movie. They hold up 36 years later or they don’t. Being the visual masterpiece that it is, both real or digitally enhanced, Poltergeist is one of those horror films that has masterful effects never once letting us doubt if what we’re seeing could be a reality or not. We live in a world where the less we are shown, the scarier the experience is, but Poltergeist puts everything right in front of eyes in plain sight, horrifying us all the same. It makes it possible for a full demon face to take up the framing of a closet, for a woman to be stuck the ceiling of her bedroom, for a man to feel his own flesh right off of his face, and for a children’s room to become a swirling circus of toys.

  14. The imagery does the talking.

Poltergeist’s overall look is hands-down untouchable. The way the dark, ethereal, and realistic representations of the dead clash with the bright-colored, natural domestic elements of The Freeling home make it a visual experience for viewers. Everything from Carol Anne’s bright long blonde hair to the red nose of the possessed clown doll to the blind portal light are images that stay with us long after the credits roll.

  15. The storyline doesn’t require analysis.

Nowadays films try so hard to be divisive and symbolic, but it is this yearning to be unique that is often the nail in the coffin for many. It could be that we, as a general audience, demand more from writers, directors, and producers, but the simplicity of the classics is understandably hard to master. Poltergeist is heavy in tone and does have all of those analytical elements behind it, but you do not have to be a literary scholar or well versed in Latin or Greek mythology to get its message. Whether you are in it for the scary haunted house story or wish to interpret the mechanics of the afterlife, Poltergeist is the perfect vessel for both.

    16. There are lessons to be learned.

Horror films usually provide a lot of meaning, but fewer leave room for lesson interpretation. No elaboration needed: Don’t build any living quarters on burial grounds of any sort and when your time comes, go into the light.

  17. It’s directed written and produced by Steven Spielberg.

Due to contractual obligations in regards to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Steven Spielberg (Jaws) could not direct Poltergeist, but he did write and produce it. There is some speculation and commentary made about him directing the director, Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and the finished product all but has his signature on it. Poltergeist has that nostalgic, ordinary meets supernatural, expertly crafted feel to it. Whatever the controversy depends on, it’s obvious that Spielberg had more to do with this film than the writing. Whatever his involvement in Poltergeist, we are eternally grateful.

  18. Diane and Steve Freeling are good parents.

The Freeling parents and their children appear to be a normal, solid unit and ironically in this genre that is exactly what they truly are. Aside from typical domestic problems, there is no deviation from the desirable white picket fence plan. What I like the most? They light up in their bedroom to relax and take the edge off. Just kidding! When it’s obvious that something is amiss in their house and that something has taken one of their children, Diane and Steve come to terms with the weird situation they’re in and are quick to get help, the right kind of help, with little to no skepticism. In a world of the irrational, Diane and Steve are soberly rational.

    19. Diane Freeling is the real MVP.

I’m not a parent yet, but sacrificing yourself for your children is something I understand wholeheartedly. With that said, I always seem to find myself thinking ‘Nope’ every time Diane rushes right into the ghostly fires to get to Carol Anne and Robbie. She is quick to be the one to enter the closet portal, possibly the mouth of Hell, to get to her daughter, and in the end she relentlessly pushes through all the horrific forces thrown at her to rescue her children.

Steve is a good father and all, but it is always Diane physically and mentally stepping up to the plate to end this situation and keep her family safe. How do you react to your daughter telling you she talks to and sees the “TV people”? I’m sure parental love, especially that of a mother, is the most powerful feeling of all and we have it in us when we step into that role, but I might need some convincing and mental hype-up before someone tied a rope to my waist and sent me off into a world crawling with angry spirits to rescue anything. A shot of whiskey would help too.

  20. The haunting is well-paced.

The progress of the spirits making themselves known sets the stage for this film and is realistically paced. When there are reports of disturbances, whether real or purely as hoaxes, it is common for the entity to seem friendly at first. That interaction slides into a little mischievous fun, with the spirits feeding off of our energy to become stronger. Once that happens the real haunting occurs and the spirits become hostile. It is a constant, linear build up. Poltergeist sticks to this evolution and is supremely successful in feeding off of our increasing fear as we take this journey with The Freelings, thankfully, over the course of two hours.

  21. Poltergeist II and III are not that bad!

It’s relatively known that sequels and any installments following are expected to be less than sub-par in comparison to the original. Poltergeist is a heck of a tough act to follow, but Brian Gibson’s Poltergeist II: The Other Side is a worthy successor with a (in my opinion) meaner and more frightening villain: Reverend Kane, played expertly by Julian Beck. He is absolute nightmare fuel. The quality lessens with Gary Sherman’s Poltergeist III, taking the story to a more urban setting and introducing new characters, while keeping Heather O’Rourke for the ghost show to traumatize. Again, not as good enough original, but good watches in a lesser realm.

Fun fact: Poltergeist II was also nominated for an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects too!

  22. The remake should be looked at as a form of flattery.

Gil Kenan’s (Monster House) 2015 remake of Poltergeist was pretty much a flop, but that really comes as no surprise. The classics of any genre should be left alone as there is an unattainable notoriety that comes with that status. We can always hope to enjoy them, but it’s never the same or better. The remake’s ultimate ‘meh’ quality is a true testament to all of the successful elements that made 1982’s Poltergeist an anomaly. Let sleeping spirits lie.

  23. Ahhh! Real corpses!

The scene where Diane winds up in the pool trench in the backyard that has begun to fill with water and rotting corpses has a bit more going on that what we see on-screen. Though the visual effects are great, it seemed like someone thought going all-in as far as corpse props was the best way to produce the ultimate scare. Yes, those are real cadavers and skeletons. Production is expensive and the real thing was cheaper. I guess some projects require a little conservation? It’s another one of those Poltergeist fun facts and one that only a handful of films claim to have. This is rumored to be the reason behind ‘the curse’, which unfortunately and ironically proves this film broke its own lesson. Just don’t mess with the dead or their resting place.

    24. It’s rated… PG?

Poltergeist is rated PG! Granted there was no official PG-13 rating at the time and it didn’t have enough violence to be considered Rated-R, it’s difficult to wrap your head around. I still wouldn’t be able to watch this alone in the middle of the afternoon and I’m almost 30 years old. Frozen and Shrek are rated-PG if that puts it in perspective for you. Why is this a good point? Nowadays, most films aim for an R-rating to be successful. Poltergeist terrified everyone, still does, and established itself as a classic all within the parameters of a PG-rating.

  25. The focus is on fear, real and imagined.

Though the plot is relatively simple, should you want to do any sort of analysis on Poltergeist, you’ll find that one of the major focuses of the plot is fear – that of the parents and that of the children. A parent’s worst fear is losing their children and being helpless. Children are afraid of monsters in the closet and thunderstorms. The universal fear we all have in common: dying. This film ties them altogether. Poltergeist is a gem that represents the motifs of fears well without getting too detailed… or too depressing.

  26. There’s only one fatality and it doesn’t need more than that.

RIP Tweety.

  27. The score.

Jerry Goldsmith’s praised soundtrack is a medley of childlike whimsy, gradual intensity, and grandeur eeriness. It is an experience all its own, clearly stating the tone of Poltergeist’s purity, drama, and horror. I could only listen to it on YouTube for a few minutes while writing this.

  28. Poltergeist trivia!

Like the production curse, Poltergeist is full of fun facts and trivia! If you’re anything like me and love to gather up these little bits of information, I would Google this as well. Again, there is far too much to included here, but it’s one of those older films that has all the interesting bits and pieces to it. Did You know Drew Barrymore (Scream) was considered for the part of Carol Anne, but Spielberg cast her to E.T. Instead?

  29. Nods from the Academy.

Nominations include Best Original Music Score, Best Visual Effects, and Best Sound Editing. Obviously.

  30. The problem is not an easy one to fix…

How do you get rid of the dead? You really can’t in a way. Tangina explains that they are always there, always around us, because the souls refuse to move on. The only thing we can do is guide them to the light and help transition their souls to the other side. Even she could not fix the whole problem in the end.  Since the issue remains, we’re ultimately left uneasy which is how one should feel at the end of any good horror film.

  31. You are scared from the beginning!

The first spook comes at around 3 minutes into the film. Spielberg wasted no time in hooking the audience. Starting off with a (star spangled) bang and then transitioning to the normal daily routine of The Freelings is a shock to our system and leaves us begging for more.

  32. It influences modern horror filmmakers.

If you’re a fan of James Wan you may notice some similarities between his high-grossing horror installments and Poltergeist. The second and only other time I can remember being terrified by a film was when I saw Insidious in theaters. I consumed horror movies throughout my youth rendering myself desensitized pretty quickly. I saw Insidious reluctantly with a few friends thinking it seemed like a B-horror movie. When the credits rolled and that harrowing fiddle began to play I knew I was about to watch something different, but something familiar at the same time. Like the semi-adult I was, Insidious was like a mature version of Poltergeist. All of the elements, some of them listed here, were resurrected and enhanced.

Before The Conjuring, Insidious, Paranormal Activity, and all the haunted house films that fall in between, Poltergeist created a paranormal language all its own lending it to film innovators of today and most assuredly in the future.

  33. It makes death okay, so we’re okay with it.

Circling back to Tangina’s monologue and even that of Dr. Lesh, the explanation of the afterlife, though unnerving, is somewhat consoling. If you believe in life after death this film should resonate with you. It gives reason to the mysterious evils of the natural world allowing us to cope with what we now understand. Poltergeist is not just here to shock and scare us, it’s a finger on the pulse of death.

    34. Jump scare rebounds like a champ!

Hooper and Spielberg mastered the art of building suspense. Executing the jump scare, and then fluidly moving forward – giving Poltergeist that perfect amount of dread and activity. The scares are not cheap, but rather keep the plot moving and our asses on the edge of our seat.

  35. It’s technically a techno horror.

At the time ghosts in film were known for moving objects around or were shown as eerie apparitions. Poltergeist, as far as I know, I saw one of the films that broke through the technology barrier and introduced paranormal communication to us in a new way. While nostalgic, it was a very modern move and hit close to home. How many of us own a television? How easy would it be for that static to turn sinister? We can only be thankful we don’t have cable sign-offs anymore.

  36. Dominique Dunne taught me how to flip people off.

I attended Catholic School for almost all of my academic years (a place that ironically produces more gore hounds and metal heads than any other existing institution), so we can say I was naive in my early years. I knew what giving someone ‘the finger’ meant, somewhat, but when I watched the scene of the beautiful Dominique Dunne giving the catcalling construction workers the big ‘up yours’ gesture, I knew that whatever it meant, I wanted to do it one day. I asked my dad what it meant and he, of course, mislead me to believe it was a secret way to tell people ‘f*** off’. Well, when little Charlie starts bugging me during Private Reading (don’t interrupt me during Private Reading time, the rule still applies today), I gave him a piece of my mind with the new gesture I learned from the cool girl in Poltergeist. It was the first time I landed myself a detention, certainly was not the last, but I’ll always remember it.

  With all this said, I have to give the reason I hate to saying when I recommend any film or need to back up its quality: It’s just good movie. If you’re experiencing it for the first time or taking a trip down memory lane, Poltergeist is sure to be a positive experience for you. If not, revisit this list. If you think I couldn’t come up with more you are dead wrong.

  The post They’re Here… To Stay: 36 Years of POLTERGEIST appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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17 We open with friendly neighborhood dumbass Akko studying studiously, sitting on a bench in a sunny grassy field which she ignores in favor of a massive stack of books like the bookworm Lottie only sort of is, while redhead side witch bitches about dropping out of school because she's just too cool. An... interesting entrance into the episode, to be sure.

Redhead turns herself into a dashing boys' school student. ..... Did the spell make her grow bollocks

"even though no one's asking you?" is a pretty weird way to ask someone about their dream. I don't think anyone asked redhead to become a broomdancer, or robots girl to become robots, or... anyone to do anything they just wanted to do. and again, she has already accomplished what she says she wants to do- the yeti, in the next episode robert girl, the fairy strike... this show does not know what it has done or what it's doing.

... Wait, are they really here to just fucking steal the grail from the school? why? I've already forgotten why they wanted it, and why petty theft by a couple of randos is so easily accepted as a method of getting it back. Are there no witch authorities who might have wanted in on this? Later redhead says it "belongs" to the guys' school as a way to deflect explaining how it works... shrugg

Have I mentioned yet that I like the supporting trio more than the main three? I could probably write a whole fucking essay on that. All three of them are straight-up archetypes... but that alone is enough to make them at least basically functional as characters. Because that's *why* archetypes end up as archetypes- it's a grouping of character tropes and traits that hits a chord with people. And that's why "cunning normal" was such a fucking retarded concept, Kiznaiverrrrrrr-

It's kinda weird she stays disguised even after getting caught... I guess this is actually consistent; it's been shown before you need to use another spell to transform back, meaning unlike most settings ontological inertia actually applies. but then later on the transformation seems to start slowly undoing itself for no reason anyway. How does this work? magic router?? why'd akko even take that?... whatever

we finally get some violence against witches (threatened but never put though because of course not), which doesn't explain anything but at least characterizes the guys as your entirely typical medieval-styled witch not-likers. The fact that this is what passes for an improvement in this fuckshow of a shitshow is just fucking sad. there are some actually tense and brutal scenes in there, some nice visual shots, like akko getting thrown on the table tied up and the distant side-shot of the guy getting hit by the armor... that aren't killed by wackyness! Amazding! ... Though it still doesn't quite work, probably because the show is still clearly too light-hearted to, say, actually use the torture devices. But them being pulled out isn't a wacky gag either aside from a bit of the reaction. what tone is this?

"y u no use ur magic on me??" "because there's no reception here dumbass the fuck do you think this works like"

Yet another interesting unaddressed plot point- magic was what got them into this mess and turned blong guy into an armored monster, and while a witch was the one who stopped it little to no magic was used in doing so, she basically just needed to smack him hard enough. It seems like the takeaway from this is that witches are perfectly fine people, but magic still needs to fucking die. hmm

by the way what happened to the wordfinding plot this episode

So clearly this was Croi boi testing her angery magicks, but I have to wonder... *why* is anger magic the strongest sort? I mean, it can basically only be arbitrary, but how convenient that her evil energy-having plan can't just go off by spreading feelings of sunshine and happiness.

18 "trained to catch every gost in 12 days, but the goal is one gost in one year"... This is literally, exactly, what Lottie says. What? Literally one minute in and like 20 seconds of dialogue and already this shit makes not a single lick of fucking sense.

akko trips and fucks things up again okay we fucking get i- why was that enpugh to breakm the fucking robort? akko's own body must be the most destructive object know to mankind.

We return to the generic wackey-qwackey humorisms the show had mostly shed in the last couple episodes, and it feels more forced than ever before. After all these thng I can't actually believe Akko's still this shit... and apparently the show itself doesn't either, since as soon as Akko finds something she can actually do it entirely stops. Once she starts working as a convincer/go-between/gopher, not a single thing gets broken. In other words, Trigger just abandoned her character development to churn out and force out more mediocre obligate humor. But at least it was only for, like, half of the episode.

on the other hand once she gets her shit back together the cards get brought back. That was always a kind of interesting little thing, that Akko knew some things even other witches didn't because of the fandom-ing that brought her to the school where she was otherwise so far behind everyone else. I mean, that just raises the question of why the other witches apparently never saw these cards and I feel like I asked exactly this many an episode ago so let's just move the fuck on again

isn't the ship from the OVA? it looks like the shiny rod... and like the same old vaguely eva-lagann looking shit. I forget what it was from Gainax that looked like that, but definitely it was something.

"I already know I won't be as good as Constance"... Man, when Akko's good, she's fucking good. She really isn't trampling over someone else with the conviction that she's always right about everything, she's just so excited she wants to draw a fucking robort. And then Candace loves it and is inspired to make it actually work. it's fucking cute man

gosts viral on social media Normies can't see gosts, but presumably Akko can. How is this actually determined? Rather, the deeper problem is that the line between witches and normies was never defined. There's some implication that it's hereditary, since everyone aside from Akko comes from a "witching family", but the very existence of Akko belies that. So if anyone can train to become a witch, how much training do you do before you become witchy enough to see gost? Actually, should people with latent potential be able to see gost? If Akko is bad at becoming a witch, logically there should be some people who would be better at it relative to her. Shouldn't there be some people in the crowd who can see gost as is? Also, do any males exist with any amount of witch potential, who could see ghosts on their own? If they had never called attention to it by doing the "gost can't see normie" thing, there'd be nothing to really question- you could assume witching is a skill like any other that people could aquire, that's often handed down through families like any other job or career, and that some people are just kind of terrible at. Buuuuut they had to get in this lame "muh on muh cell phone at tuh evuuuunnnt" joke and didn't think it through. Good work, Trigger, keep it up

how is many crow? how many gost We're shown each cube succing up at least one gost each, then multiple cubes forming one crow, but then there's a whole fucking lotta fucking crows. How many gosts were there? How many were left after the large amount that were already taken out? There's just an unmeasured infinite supply of gost somewhere offscreen to conveniently move in as needed. Trigger didn't think this through. And then a super-giant mega-crow shows up which must have used up even more gost. Great

and then the robort- OKAY TRIGGER WE GET IT YOU WUZ GAINAX ONCE CALM THE FUCK DOWN this is just so boring. YEAH, A FUCKING ROBOT, WE GET IT TRIGGER, YOU FUCKS HAVE FUCKING ISSUES. GAINAX-SENPAI WILL NEVER FUCKING NOTICE YOU, GET OVER IT. ... reactions from the peanut gallery are on point tho. akko even credits constantinople for her part in making this possible. she's a good kid. so good. too pure for this fucking show - the robort runs out of energy- WHY DID YOU NOT BRING A ROUTER YOU FUCKNAUTS THERE WAS ONE IN THE IMMEDIATELY PRECEEDING EPISODE WHY - it's a drill. it's a fucking drill. ........ i want to cry acid.

team cubes it blastign off againnnnnnfuck this gay earth

aww man akko doesn't even want to be thanked but compton gives her a training broom anyway. it's beautiful.

19 an old tradition and a new power... croix-was-write is written into the very fabric of reality in this show. good and then mom-diana fucking dies. LOL BYE BITCH.

why would you have the head-appointing ceremony randomly every few years rather than, like, when you need to appoint a new family head? it would even affect the exact same urgency, just have events come to a head so she needs to be pulled out of school and become family head now. why are they electing a baby teen as family head anyway? what age are these kids, anyway? akko looks like ten sometimes.

the second diana says "muh respekt for convention!!" you know she's gonna be treated as full of shit. it's over something we've never heard of and had no reason to assume, anyway. i don't even know "you know about the words?" you've blabbed them to everyone including the rival school that wants to execute you all, so why are you surprised?

...... LOL WHUT THE AUNT LITERALLY HAS GLOWING RED DEMON EYES WHAT THE FUCC?

.... Andrew is one of the best fucking characters in this shitshow of a show. The amount of fucks he's come to not give... Just invite the witch girl your father knows and hates to ride in your car squished up between him and yourself. And dad-man just can't fucking do anything about it. Holy shit lol and lol these british people sure fucking love soccer. boy i sure bet this isn't hammed-in foreshadowing for some fucking bullshit that's going to happen in the last episodes!!!! i'd fucking bet my lyfe on it !!!!!!

what fuck is diantha wearing We get another one of those nice moments that makes me hate the rest of the show. Akko, being energetic and people-oriented as always but somewhat more constrained due to the awkward and unfamiliar situation, tries to go for the teddy bear as an attempt to start some conversation with Diana... Diana yells at her not to touch it, and she actually does not touch it. Now go back and watch the robot episode again. HMMMMMMmmmmm Except it wasn't about the bear, it was about the box of Chariot cards, because of course Diantha actually likes Chariot, bet no one ever saw that twist comingHEY WAIT A MINUTE, didn't one of the earlier episodes hinge on Akko knowing something Diantha didn't because of the cards?? It can't be because Akko was the only one to autistically memorize them all, because Diantha is smurt character and should have remembered it at least somewhat just from reading it normally. kindness from diana, when the rest of the family and household is by akko's own statement even worse.

old lady yells at akko while unfitting music plays