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#get inside your characters head
fangswbenefits Β· 15 days
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just a few random thoughts on The Arrangement Astarion (cw: mentions of past abuse and trauma)
The way abuse can warp someone for life is often overlooked. This isn't just a journey about him dealing with intimacy (in all its forms) but also how to do it in spite of everything he went through. Putting up walls and not letting her in, but feeling the need to resort to sarcasm and to being snarky cause the vulnerability that comes with it is just too much to handle. She has already seen the ugly yet he keeps doing it, because when you've doing it for so long it becomes second nature and it's hard to unlearn this behaviour. How can people stay when they've seen the ugly? Well, some people do stay because they have seen the ugly and their love for you surpasses that. They'd ve damned if they allowed that to change their opinion of you.
However, this doesn't have be a life sentence for him. He can learn and better himself alongside her if he so chooses. There will be good days. There will be bad days. But the constant will be her by his side. And this isn't about anyone getting fixed. There are other ways to heal. Are those healthy, though? But still, no matter how uncertain things are, he can count on her love as a constant that can help him love the parts of him that he has grown to hate.
Is it easy? Does it happen overnight? Probably not. But there's always hope. There is always a way out. Even when he dissociates. Even when he's fearful of getting more intimate with her. Even when he remembers that she chose friendship over something else - it's never easy to be shown what you need to see instead of what you want to see. Astarion falls into this constant dichotomy and I think it's worth exploring πŸ«‚
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kaseyskat Β· 9 months
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hi it's nyx here once again to talk about lark vs henry and what that meant for sparrow because i swear every episode that shows even a Little bit of sparrow's actual personality is controversial.
"nyx what do you mean by this" well it's a very blatant fact that sparrow does not get much nuance in the fandom: this is especially prevalent when examining hero's conversation with normal where she explicitly calls out lark and rebecca alongside sparrow and yet sparrow is solely blamed. because of this, every time we do see sparrow be his genuine self in the show - from talking to scary and shielding her from violence to taking charge of grant and lark and wanting to help the teens to the most recent episode's case of him not believing in animal captivity - i've noticed people quickly jumping on him for being hypocritical but nobody asking why he would be hypocritical, or why he's made choices that clearly do not reflect his actual beliefs.
so let's talk about that, shall we?
i know i've talked about this before but it bears repeating: sparrow is complacent. he has consistently made decisions that go against his own beliefs, bottling up his actual thoughts on the matter in order to "keep the peace". we know this, this is a canon fact, he said as much about lark and rebecca's affair!
why does he do this? well to me, what makes the most logical sense is that this stems all the way to lark and henry's conflict. if the rogue card is only predicting anger and not enforcing it, that means there is more to lark's anger than just what happened with walter. part of that is his fear of being unable to protect the people he cares about, being helpless in situations where he could've done something, yes, but i do believe there's another root cause to his anger, one that would fuel him for decades: sparrow.
...well, more specifically, how henry changed sparrow.
we know that lark wasn't the happiest about the lovewolf split. after the lord of chaos arc, sparrow starts very slowly developing a separate personality, enough so that he and lark aren't necessarily the same kid, one unit, the same person twice. sparrow tried to teach lark his new philosophy, it was ultimately rejected. lark doesn't understand it! but he loves sparrow regardless. that disappointment, that resentment of how sparrow had changed... it goes back to henry, to henry giving sparrow that speech and reinforcing those beliefs!
we also know that originally, sparrow didn't want to pick a side. he wanted them both to get along! to reconcile! and we know that lark didn't tell him about what he saw on the throne, which has me believing that there were, perhaps, other things that lark didn't tell sparrow in crucial moments: such as his decision to release the doodler, since we really don't know if sparrow knew. sparrow would've been happy to reconcile the two, and it makes sense if this was something he didn't know but something that shakes his perspective: aka, what happens if lark doesn't confide in him. to get lark back on his side, he has to be on lark's side irrevocably, which means abandoning his peacekeeping and mediation to choose lark wholeheartedly.
so by the time the ep23 flashback happens... sparrow has lost that bit of personality he had started to form in s1. he's lark's other half again, helping him with plans, sharing his ideas. he has... you could say, lost his confidence in being a lovewolf, because despite his best efforts, it only brought more strife to his family and he doesn't want to lose lark. we know this! he doesn't want to lose lark!
and then, they find out the prophecy, that one of the twins will have a kid who will save the world. think about everything we know about lark, how stubbornly persistent he was on fixing things Himself since he puts the weight of the world on his shoulders alone. lark doesn't blame sparrow or henry, he only blames himself. would he jump at having a family to fix his mistakes? no.
but sparrow would.
so sparrow takes that burden from him. sparrow has hero when he is twenty, and lark gets to be the cool uncle who helps around the house and hero blames both twins equally so we know they did this together. sparrow doesn't want to lose lark again, he doesn't want to be himself, he adapts to rebecca's views because it's easier than admitting that maybe he shares some of the same- definitely makes him marrying a vegan centrist make sense, right? he can use rebecca as a scapegoat and it Works. his own personality gets shafted in favor of being the same man twice with lark, he bottles everything up, he disapproves but never says as much.
and he fucked up with hero. clearly, he knows that. hero has a regular life now at a private school with a job and an internship and she's a massive dweeb and i don't think any one of you could look me in the eye and say that lark approved that. it was sparrow's decision! and we know what lark thinks about sparrow's parenting: i need every one of yall who truly believes that lark would be a better father to normal to go and relisten to normal's introduction scene in ep1 and then to the end of ep24 again where lark explicitly tells normal that being the mascot is a waste of his time when he could be learning "actually useful" skills (like hunting and survival- and yall still think sparrow was the one having hero kill deer?) and that he's too soft-hearted and naive and that is sparrow's fault for being too nice. normal would not be the same kid if lark was raising him and that is NOT a good thing lmao
all of this to say. i am so tired of people understanding lark's nuance and understanding grant's nuance and understanding the s1 dads and their nuance and how their trauma fucked up their relationships with their kids and yet sparrow is the one yall bash every other week repeatedly without ever wondering like. huh. maybe it is strange that his actions now don't hold up against his actions in the past. maybe there's something else going on that is consistent with literally every other aspect of his character. it is so tiring to go into his tag and see the same things over and over and over again repeated on loop every time we see sparrow's actual personality slip out beyond him perpetuating the "same man twice" persona. he's nuanced! they're all nuanced! and that's a good thing!
sparrow's biggest issues are his complacency, the way he upholds decisions that might not really be the best decisions because it's easier. his love for lark and his desire to fix things clouds his judgement and yeah, that means he goes against his own morals frequently; or at least, he did. so far in the season though, with how he's treated normal being in the line of fire and getting into his mess, he's definitely already realized this and is putting in the work to ensure that normal doesn't go through what hero did- something that lark is not doing. sparrow's also been the best towards the other teens consistently, the most willing to listen and change his perspective (as demonstrated again in ep24- really i just think people need to relisten to ep24!) and he's definitely not the best dad but that can be said not just about all the kiddads but also about literally every dad in this podcast, because that's what this podcast is about. thank you for reading and i hope i don't have to make this post again in a few weeks <3
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lorillee Β· 1 year
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manfred is such a funny character because nothing he does makes any sense at all. like .ok. you murder the defense lawyer in the case you just finished because he proved you forged some of the evidence and youre mad about it tarnishing your perfect record (despite the fact that you win the trial, somehow,) and get away with it entirely because nobody even suspects you and then for some reason you adopt his son and raise him alongside your own daughter in your own home and mold him in your image and go out of your way to give him opportunities that go far beyond those of his peers and even give him a suit based specifically off of your own iconic suit and literally all he wants is to be like you and to have your approval and over the years he grows out of it a bit but still has far more respect and admiration for you than you frankly deserve and is absolutely 1000% dedicated to your philosophy and then a few days before the statute of limitations on the case about the murdering of his dad is about to run out you concoct this whole insanely convoluted plan to kill the lawyer who got the bailiff acquitted of murdering the dad and frame and then also prosecute your adopted son for it and also hopefully get him indicted for the murder of his own dad too despite the fact that this insane plan could very well end up getting You indicted for the crime because it is. literally. your crime. and bringing it up again is really not in your best interests at all and if you had simply just let it go then nobody ever wouldve been able to prosecute you for it even if any of this did come to light. like why did you do any of this. what
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keeps-ache Β· 2 months
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hehe. crackling
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curseofbreadbear Β· 10 months
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cassie: gregory didn't hurt anybody!
me: oh you poor sweet summer child
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fluentisonus Β· 10 months
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this book is so good i'm going to explode
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daz4i Β· 9 months
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I'm gonna let you in on a badly kept secret. most of my dazai analysis is truly just me projecting. but being decent enough at bullshitting to make it sound convincing so ppl usually end up agreeing with my takes
#what i lack in actual reading comprehension and analysis abilities i make up for in charisma and fake confidence#ahdjfllhh or maybe my projections just fit! maybe i accidentally do make good analysis! or at least offer alternative readings!#anyway i was thinking abt his relationship with pain again. and i started writing an essay in my head#before realizing I'm basically describing my own relationship with it. and that my experiences are not universal esp in regards to that#but just bc they're not universal doesn't mean they're nonexistent! who's to say dazai doesn't have them as well 😩#fr tho i think with a character like him that hides a lot of himself and his true feelings. insisting on one 'canon' reading is dumb#the whole point is you view him through your own personal experience. imo. that's what he'd want too#the emptiness inside him is meant to be filled by his audience. whether inside the story or outside it. i think.#that's why he is one thing around fyodor and another around atsushi and i see him one way and you see him in another one#and all these readings are right and all these versions are still him. you don't know what's inside the donut after all#but again :) even this part could be just me projecting :) but see how nicely i bullshitted through it to make it sound deep?#(<- being sincere but hiding it with irony as to not get rejected. as one does) (<- admits it bc who tf would get this far into my tags)#(but thank you if you did ily) (also shoutout to anyone who ever validated my unhinged analysis/projection mwah)
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cherrysnax Β· 2 months
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Chevys sim looks just like them fr and like just looking at them confuses my brain in a good way!!
#I think my sim self is too hot but Chevy says it’s accurate so I’ll believe them#im happy with my sim thought because I even got the hyperpigmentation on my cheeks and my dark circles n my acne spots#im ehh on my skin tone because im inside all the time and im starting to get really pale but I think it’s accurate??#I think I have cool undertones irl but idk abt in the sims#and Chevy has this beautiful brown skin tone that seems like it should have cool undertones but they actually have very warm undertones#and the way her nostrils poke up a bit was the part I wanted to do the most#I see a lot of ours ocs in us and well duh#but also our ocs have impacted the way we dress n shit#because of retro I have a buzzed head and lean towards more spikes chokers and bracelets even though I tend to prefer lacier accessories#Chevys locs have grown so much and I see a lot of Leo in the way they wanna style them#also the fingerless gloves#sorry thinking about our webcomic#when we first started dating I forgot how to draw because I was so happy#so to learn how to draw again I drew Chevy a lot#and even now when im bored I doodle a little chevy#i started drawing myself more when we started dating because we were long distance at first#so I wanted to draw us together. and now I can draw self portraits that actually look like me!! it’s crazy#and now we’re immortalized in the sims :’)#which is where so many of our show your spine characters were first made… crazy how things come full circle#im manifesting a show your spine game in the next 10 years on god
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iamanoccasionaldoodler Β· 11 months
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So I finished the Pacific Rim book and having dived the depths of the Pacific Rim tag here on Tumblr I am surprised to have noticed one major difference between the book and the movie: Raleigh and Mako kiss at the end of the book. It's super cliche action movie stuff so I wasn't surprised even if I was a little disappointed but then I got on Tumblr and everyone is praising that Mako and Raleigh DIDNT kiss at the end????????? What was the point of making them kiss in the book then. Like why did you think that needed changing. Why would you change literally any plot points in a novelization, that goes against the point of a novelization, but also why specifically THAT one?????
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hollowslantern Β· 2 years
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i wish I could dictate posts in the shower because I'm about to spend the next 20 minutes thinking about that old man and my genius may never see the light of day
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muslimintp-1999-girl Β· 1 year
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Another day of seeing stupid tweets saying Snape was a creep and I quote "AND WAS A NAZI. LITERALLY."
God, I wish people had reading comprehension skills smh.
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haemosexuality Β· 1 year
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basira is just so interesting i wish i understood her character better
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mundanemiseries Β· 9 months
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❝  the gravekeeper is many things. a watchman for the fallen, a guardian for the tomb, a friend for the nearly departed. but above all else? an outcast.β€ƒβ€ƒβž
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❝  None in this town dare dirty themselves with dirt, with bone. so, only those they see "inhuman" are fit to do such "inhuman" work. Only they would be willing to, anyway.β€ƒβ€ƒβž
only he was willing to in this godforsaken town.
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doyouwanttoseeabug Β· 5 months
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Genuinely I think one of the best things you can do to build characters in your story is give them a kink. You do not have to put that kink in the story. You do not have to tell anyone but yourself. But thinking about their wants and needs and what would bring them comfort or desire, about whether they crave power or crave a situation where they're blessedly free from any power, about which taboo they might kind of want to cross, is really useful for getting inside their head. Also "what situation would make my character stupid horny enough to make a terrible mistake?" is a good plotting device. "It's a plot hole that they made that dumb decision" no they were just whistling like a lustful kettle and forgot to turn their brain on.
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sideeve Β· 5 months
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β €β €β €β€œWHAT?! SEX BAN?!”
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οΉ… contains ;; gojo satoru , kento nanami , choso kamo , toji fushiguro , ryomen sukuna , geto suguru
οΉ… alt title ;; how long the jjk men can withstand the sex ban
οΉ… warnings ;; sorta sub!choso , whiny!choso , toji's part is more explicit than the others , this is my first time writing for some of the character so i'm sorry if i didn't describe them well
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GOJO SATORU (3 days)
β€œare you serious?” gojo groans, slumping forwards. gojo watched in disappointment as you crossed your arms, looking away from him. "you did it so you have to pay." for weeks, you've been trying to tell gojo to separate the colors from the whites while doing laundry. him just wanting to get it over with, he dumped them all in the same load, ruining some of your favorite pieces of clothing.
"baby, please. i won't do it again," he begs, kneeling in front of you. but to no avail, you stood your ground.
it only took him 3 days to convince you to wave your white flag, surrendering to his seduction. "you look good in my shirts." gojo's hands caress your hips as he presses his chest to your back. "i would be in my clothes if you would just listen to me." you huff, "i never said i was disappointed." gojo whispered, his hard-on pressing on your ass.
β€œplease. just drop the β€˜sex ban’. i said i was sorry.” his lips make a trail of kisses on your neck. you needed him too. whenever he wasn’t around, you would use your toys, trying to not let gojo know you were sexually needy. but they didn’t work.
RYOMEN SUKUNA (not happening!)
no. just no. it’s funny that you even thought about putting that in motion. sukuna was too desperate for sex but never wanted to admit it.
β€œno,” he stood above, crossing his arms, making himself seem bigger than you (as if he even needed to do that). β€œyou can’t deprive me of sex, woman.” he grunts. β€œbut i can, kuna. that’s what you fail to realize.” you tut, standing up to walk away.
one of his four arms wraps around your waist, throwing you back on the soft surface. "you're not going through with this." he growls in your ear, crawling go top of you.
how dare you even think such a thing? you were his woman, his twin flame. you were the only person he showed the littlest respect to and you decide to do some foolery like this.
he tugs your shirt over your head, your bra coming next. his rough hands slide over your chest. "such beauty..." he whispers. "i'll make sure you never think of this again.
KENTO NANAMI (it was on accident)
his job was taking him away from you. between being a jujutsu sorcerer and a businessman, he couldn't find time to be a partner for you.
due to the lack of attention you were receiving, you became sexually pent up, having the urge to pleasure yourself at the worst times. the feeling of neglect was creeping up on you. some days, you forgot nanami even lived with you.
"love, i'm home." nanami tugs off his tie, tossing it to the side. "i don't know how long i can take of this." he rubs his temples, deeply sighing as he led himself to your shared bedroom. before his hand touched the cold metal knob, he heard your muffled moans and the squelching of your cunt.
he slowly opens the door, peeking in the room before fully entering. "it seems i've neglected you." he watches as you quickly cover yourself as if he hasn't seen you naked many times. he unbuttons the top of his shirt as he saunters to the edge of the bed, removing the covers off you.
"seems like i have some things to make up for."
CHOSO KAMO (not even a day)
"please." he whines, his head resting on your lap as he looks up at you. ever since you shared your first time with choso, he's been going at it with you like rabid dogs. if he wasn't inside you, his head was squished in between his thighs.
"choso, i need a break." you sigh, trying to remove him from off you. his grip on your legs was tight as he put his face in between your thighs, shaking his head. he was acting like he couldn't survive without your cunt somehow being involved.
"i swear, i'll leave you alone after. just please," he whined. you couldn't resist him for much longer. you hated when he got all whiny like a baby. he was spoiled because of you.
"fine." you undo the tie of your sweatpants before his hands swatted yours away, tugging your pants and panties off. "i promised you." he kisses your inner thigh before his tongue began flicking away.
TOJI FUSHIGURO (mans was balls deep in you the second you said it)
"you really think so?" he darkly chuckles, rubbing himself on you. "toji, i'm sorry. please." you whine, wiggling your ass on his cock. "i don't think you are." he teases, stepping away from you.
you whine, following him. "it was a joke." you press your hand on his chest. "did i laugh?" he tilts his head, smirking at you. you sigh, "toji, i'm sorry." you press yourself against him, your chest touching his.
"fuck." you knew he couldn't resist the feeling of your chest on him. it was like heaven to him. "turn around." he grunts, gripping your hips to turn you around, bending you over.
he easily slid inside of you due to how wet you got over time. "don't say stuff you don't mean, baby." he laughs, thrusting into your backside. it was worth it.
GETO SUGURU (you gave in after implementing it)
you wanted to test geto's limits, giving him an extra nnn moment which made you realize something. it was always you initiating sex. "geto, please. i give up." you whine, following him around the house.
he chuckles, "everyone must deal with their consequences, my love." he turns to you. he plastered a sinister smile, taunting you. he saw how much you needed him but he wasn't caving in until he heard you say it.
"i'll do anything. my hand isn't even working anymore." you simper. it was starting to become frustrating seeing how calm he was about all of this as you were suffering.
"i need you! is that what you wanted to hear?" you shout, earning a grin from him. he walks closer to you, his finger tracing your jawline, "why didn't you say that sooner, love?" he chuckles.
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the-eclectic-wonderer Β· 1 month
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I read your fic and this is just a part of the fic but the Barbara stuff is so on point, Dorothy's canon reaction to her can so easily be read as repressed queerness. And every time she's worried the others are pulling a cruel prank and gonna be disgusted with her (because of course its different when it's her, of course she thinks she's the weird wrong one)? Oh honey.
Hi anon, thank you so much for reading my fic!!
I agree!! I remember that the *first* time I watched the Barbara episode (before I knew what Barbara's whole deal was), the whole situation struck me as very queer-coded (you know, Dorothy gets a new special friend, they have long and profound conversations, they go on 'dates' to the theater and the restaurant...). Dorothy got very close to her in a very short time! In canon I suppose this can be explained as excitement -- she has a new interesting friend and she's also a bit in awe of her, because she met her as a fan of her works -- but a (repressed) queer reading seems very appropriate to me too. I rewatched some of S3 to do some research for this fic, and when I got to this episode, I knew I had to do something with it. :)
Ah, I know -- it's painful. Poor Dorothy has a lot to work through when it comes to accepting affection! I understand where she's coming from very well -- I would also think of a prank if anyone were to show any interest in me πŸ˜‚ and honestly, after the life she's lived, it's no wonder! You got it right -- of course she thinks the problem is all with her; the idea that Blanche and Rose might actually be interested in her is simply absurd. This also plays into how she avoids the issue with Sophia -- her Ma tells her clearly and openly that she wouldn't love her children one bit less if they were gay, but of course she doesn't really believe that applies to her too! Or, at least, not until the end of the fic. :)
My answer got a bit lengthy, I apologize -- and thank you so much for telling me what you thought! If you have any other thoughts you'd like to share, I'd love to read them!! <3
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