#get a. goddamn. hobby
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genuinely curious would u guys be interested in me compiling all my live dreamer trilogy reread thoughts into a post or something. mostly rn I'm just yelling in discord dms but I have A Lot To Say
#cdtheu#mostly im hating on ronan sorry idgaf about him SHUT UPPPP STOP CRYINGGGGGG#oooo its boring living on my multi million dollar estate oo im unemployed and dont do anything#get a. goddamn. hobby#edit: id forgotten bryde is in this book. can i please shove his head in a toilet
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new tiefling just dropped
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#tiefling#circus#he's so.... goddamn miserable like bestie get a hobby#i cannot tell you how awful it was to stare at these colours and shade them while operating on 4 hours of sleep and still sick#but there he is my boy my sad little bitch#don't... don't worry about the bows... if you know about archery just... just look away don't worry about it#art tag
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I kind of resent when other adhd people talk about hyperfocus only because I'm jealous that I don't do that. I WISH I could zero in and stay focused on one task at a time. Can you imagine. I can't even do that with things I like.
That said I am also annoyed when people misuse the term hyperfocus to just mean 'the thing I'm into right now' but that is Beside the point
#i think my Heavy depression makes it hard for me to get the brain chemical response needed for the adhd brain employees to go 'mm yummy'#'more of this please' and make me lock into focus#i think there is a factory between my ears and there are two departments that are at odds#and one is my depression and the other is the adhd#and the depression has halted production of dopamine. it cut funding on serotonin and dopamine because of my life's conga line of misfortune#and the adhd side is like. goddamn we need some dopamine bad. we are going to try to do everything at once to get some. 87 tabs.#14 rps going on at once. three songs stuck in head. click teeth together too.#we are NOT touching a single thing that doesnt help the dopamine machine make more dopamine for us so cut all other activities. work??? well#work is hard. actually most things are hard. and they take too many steps. now i know things like our hobbies Might produce dopamine but#well its not fast enough. and also tooooo many steps. everything too many steps.#sit on couch and 87 tabs just enough steps.#this has to be the case until we can get enough dopamine from anything at all to want to linger on an activity#and then back to depression#where its like. see?? look. we dont do anything and we hate ourselves. we cant make ourselves do things that we like or dislike.#this is why we cant have dopamine or serotonin.#and then i am left on the outside unable to focus on my work or my writing or even on fun things like rp#sorry for wall of tags
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“Shipping Batcest is harmful for real-life adopted families”
First of all, no, no it’s not. “Fictional people fans think should kiss” could not be more abstracted from real life. Get some fuckin perspective, mate.
Second of all, let’s be real here. You just don’t like it. It’s okay to just not like things, or to even be squicked by them. You don’t have to make up reasons why it’s actually bAaAaAaD. You can just go “it squicks me. Next!”
Thirdly, if your issue really is “I believe the very concept to be disrespectful to adopted families” there’s an easy fix for this.
The obvious solution?
Make them all blood related.
Boom. No more issues with “adopted vs. blood related family” anymore!
You’re welcome.
#clearly the only currently ethical Batcest ship is BruDami *nods sagely*#i don’t *need* people to ship Batcest.#it’s totally okay to NOT ship things!#i would just prefer it if people dropped the morality façade and were just open with the fact that they don’t like that people like things.#‘I think the way you play with your paper dolls on your own time is harmful in some vague way with literally no supportive evidence’#fucking LISTEN TO YOURSELVES.#you could be sparking joy for others!#this also conveniently ignores that canon is CONSTANTLY bouncing around#what the batkids think of each other/how Bruce categorized them in his life.#like the entire EXISTENCE of Damian is based on the idea that a blood son is ‘more real’—#AND THAT IS CANON ITSELF.#so…do you renounce all Batcanon? cut ties to it entirely? if not—why not?#oh…so it turns out that it’s only ‘terrible and bad and disrespectful’ and blah blah if it’s done—#—within a sphere wherein you believe yourself to have some amount of power!#you can’t ‘fiction = reality’ fandom while finding a million and one excuses for why ‘fiction != reality’ for motherfuckin CANON.#CANON—which has SO MUCH MORE reach and impact than goddamn…the niche hobby space that is fandom!#i will probably delete this because I try not to get this salty on main…#…unless it’s about Jim Starlin lol.#BUT THIS KINDA SHIT GETS MY BACK UP?#don’t pretend like having a squick is some moral stance with actual meaning besides ‘it ew to me.’
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The new year is fast approaching and I think it's high time that we (I'm talking the RPC we in general, but humans at large works too) start treating ourselves and each other with more respect. Post what you want (within reason), but be conscientious of folks and their potential trauma. Unfollow/block/or just don't follow in the first place blogs you don't see interacting with for any reason, if interaction is what you're looking for. Communicate like the adults we supposedly are, as you are able within your own abilities. Don't send shithead anons!!! Keep your space safe for yourself by curating your dash and experience. Respect rules and boundaries ffs. Have a question for someone? Reach out! But do so from a good place. The written word can't always convey emotions or intent well or properly, so please choose your wisely when inquiring about something or giving a constructive piece of criticism. Allow people to make mistakes and learn from them. If they don't, that's on them, and you are fully allowed to move on. Be kind, but take no shit either.
I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm just growing so tired of constantly seeing disrespect and such on my dash because people can't handle themselves. Hopefully the above rant makes some sense because I'm still sick and beyond stressed from the holidays lol anyway. Just do your best to be good, okay?
#( ooc. / && mobile post. )#( yes i am that old lady who will tell you to get off my lawn if you're being a shit )#( i try so hard to let this stuff go bc hi this is a hobby but goddamn i cannot and will not suffer fools )
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#my art lol#tw body horror#body horror tw#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#len kagamine#kagamine len#vocaloid oliver#oliver vocaloid#fukase vocaloid#vocaloid fukase#utatane piko#piko utatane#piko vocaloid#vocaloid piko#i dont really have context for this uhhh... len makes a fucked up science experiment using his friends' body parts in his basement?#get better hobbies my man jesus christ#not too proud of this tbh but its uhh.. ig the fact i fucked up drawing this lowkey adds to the.. fucked up-ness of the subject matter?#the perspective makes NO GODDAMN SENSE I NEVER LEARNED PERSPECTIVE AUGHHHH#the abomination creature mess thing whatever it is has more to it too you just cant see it here#fun fact it also originally had flower in it but i decided not to subject girliepop to that#she might be chilling with rin somewhere... rin for the love of god dont go into your bro's basement dont ask him whats down there#composite au
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#perfect jan 1st plans#sobbing in the fetal position under the bed like a child#god today sucks#this is why i use escapism so much#i try not to for one single goddamn day and look where that got me#seriously considering disappearing#it’s been years of this#years of one crisis after another and nothing ever gets better#everyone says it gets better eventually but i’ve felt like this since i was 12#over a decade of my life#struggling and wishing i was dead#and for what? i have nothing to show for it#no accomplishments barely any meaningful relationships no hobbies#just pain and pain and failure and embarrassment and pain#fucking hell#i’m so stupid i’m so worthless i’m so pathetic i can’t keep living with myself#vent
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guess who just got fifteen comments telling me to kill myself because someone doesn't know how to read tags and moderate their own fucking internet space
#God forbid someone has a different opinion than you about a character#i've literally never seen someone white fucking knight this hard for a fictional woman before#get a goddamn hobby#touch sand#fanfiction#somehow ao3 Bridgerton isn't a safe space anymore
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now who is sending me anon hate on here just to call me ugly
#moth speaks#??????#this is literally so fucking weird I'm yellingggggggg#get a hobby or something goddamn
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god it just feels like shit is falling apart in my hands y'know? everything needs to stop happening i would like a w Please
#i don't have grief's game anymore. i don't have aurelia's. i might not have sylvie's#one of my friends took a sledgehammer to the trust i had in them and i don't know how to begin to fix it#i'm in a job in my fucking hobby i didn't even want and having to triage because of that#my parents fucking. i don't know. my mother is so fucking out of touch#it's fucking christmas#and i'm supposed to bear these crises on my own? to support other people in it too? i'm supposed to be fucking happy to be with my family?#every goddamn year renting a cabin out in nipton for christmas week gets more and more appealing#texts from the void
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#( σut σf cσntrαcts || ooc )#negativity tw#// this is your warning I'm about to be sad and annoying in the tags#// turn back now#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#// bro I'm so fucking over being sad and tired ALL THE TIME#// I just want to feel like a person again. but all i feel lately is empty#// burnout and depression are teaming up on me AGAIN like goddamn can I have at least a few weeks of peace????#// is that really too much to ask???? I'm trying so hard to do everything right and everything is still so shit????#// I can't even like engage in hobbies because I don't have the energy#// i get on tumblr bc I want to write and immediately just get this intense sense of “i do not belong here” and sign right back off#// mayhaps it is time to call it quits
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It is sunday night. I remain exhausted.
#my stuff#i tried everything this weekend and nothing is healing my Existential Ambivalence#like i know i cooked and i saw friends and i did my hobbies and normally i'd be proud of myself for all that but i just...don't care#i wanna call out sick or something tomorrow. I'm worried about my finances and i genuinely think im gonna have to move somewhere cheaper#like i was expecting my tax return to offset the slow bleed of money from my savings each month and that Is Not Happening#And its not like i have any way to Make More Money#bc im a grad student and we're contractually prevented from doing so#So that means i'll need to move when my lease is up this summer and i really don't fucking want to#i like where i live i just wish it wasn't so goddamn expensive on rent#even like $200 cheaper would be world changing for me#but no instead i gotta look at my bills after power and car insurance and food and be like oops guess i lost $100 this month#and god forbid i get coffee or eat out in the cheapest way possible bc somehow that adds up to like $100 the second i look away#im sick of being anxious about this!! im not eating enough as it is!!#i also don't wanna get a fucking roommate bc i don't want someone in a space i've come to consider my own#like sorry but im transgender do not fucking look at me stranger#so the only real solution is to move and that's such a fucking hassle and it doesn't solve the problem now and i just want this to get bettr#i wish all students a very $2000 raise forever#and all landlords a very Scrooge Moment that makes you cut my rent in half#ave omnissiah
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i’ve said this many times before, but it seems like a good time to say it again so, a friendly reminder: if u think a good usage of ur time and life is being creepy and rude in a stranger’s inbox (especially if u don’t even have the balls to say it all off anon), you need to get a life as well as some fucking decorum. ur weird and it’s embarrassing. this behavior isn’t normal and it’s concerning that you think it is.
#like get a fucking hobby goddamn#whatre u getting from this. a small little nugget of attention ??#take a hike dawg ur humiliating urself#this is in general to all hate anons. as i said i’ve said this many times before (and will continue to do so for however long is necessary)#i’m just reiterating the point#bc. again. this is such odd behavior
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10000 posts!
Man
I think hitting 10k posts on tumblr.com half an hour after midnight on new years day is fucking lame of me
Like not to be a 2000s disney channel movie villain, this is probably my hormone teenage brain talking but I actually fucking hate this.
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i think we need to throw all of ace attorney twitter into the dumpster cuz yall fucking suck
saw someone crying about narumayo this morning like that is One of The Most Basic Ships what could possibly be making you this upset about it goddamn cry harder
#my post#ace attorney#narumayo#NaruMitsu#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#maya fey#who gives a shit about any of this genuinely#touch grass#get a hobby#goddamn
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It's a weird feeling when you do the exact things that brought so much joy a year ago, and then feel zero joy at all from them. Or from anything, really. I'm trying real hard to feel happy doing anything I used to and everything's coming up blank
#new things dont bring joy either#and i Know this means im depressed#and yeah still in mourning#but goddamn what do i gotta do to get some happy chemicals around here yknow??#trying to feel happy when i draw again and to have a hobby back#not a cry for help its more like a 'well aint that a bitch'
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