I am deeply fascinated by White's fear.
I have no idea whatsoever why this boy believes he's dirty/filthy, or why he thinks Tee specifically would view him that way. The show has given us all but mere glimpses of his POV and none have managed to give me a concrete reason for it.
But this is what makes it so interesting. Even with only 1 episode left, the writers can do wonders with this.
Throughout the show, but especially in Ep11, we see White being pretty open about his attraction/love to Tee. He's the one who pursued him, who flirted with him, who went to visit him at his job everyday, who tutored him, who *kissed* him.
Is this why he feels that way?
It can't be, right? The boy is doing all this in public, it's not shame for his sexuality that's the issue.
So, the other conclusion is that it's about sex. It makes him feel dirty, it makes him feel that *Tee* himself views him as dirty, even though he loves White and he loves having sex with White, something I'm sure White himself knows as well.
Going back to Ep1, we do get some indication about White's fear, though it could be just me grasping at straws here:
1) During the first TeeWhite scene we got, White gets a hallucination of the masked murderer standing in the woods, watching them, while he's making out with Tee. He stops and says this:
Tee dismisses White's worries, saying everyone's inside the house so there's nobody to watch them, and White does this face:
and needs a few seconds to get back into it after they start kissing again.
2) When they return to the others and Top asks them if they had sex, White's reaction is this:
and later, when Top asks if he could participate too, White's reaction is this:
White doesn't really show evident discomfort, but he doesn't show indifference either. The main argument in favor of that is the fact that he appeared in front of others like this:
and after Top's comments, he is now like this:
He fixed his T-shirt in order for it to be tucked away in his pants, something he didn't even intend to do before Top's comments. He became self-conscious.
3) When the gang go to the CCTV room to find out where Por has gone, they stumble upon the TeeWhite scene of them kissing on the balcony. White's reaction is this:
which is followed, by this:
and then, by this:
White looks incredibly out of his depth and ashamed, mainly due to Top's attitude which is why he glances at his direction more than once. It's the most evident example we get in the series.
Also, I find Tee's words here interesting. He says "My little one will cry, change the camera", meaning he knows other people knowing more about their sex life makes White feel embarrassed. Just a small detail that makes me curious.
I believe it's due to example 3 that White gets this hallucination later in Ep2:
My main reason for this is the position. As many people have pointed out, it's at the place Tee mostly kissed him: his neck, spreading over his shoulder.
All in all, I refuse to believe White is simply vain, especially since it's such a big fear of his that he has hallucinations about Tee feeling disgusted with him.
It all just leaves me so puzzled. Just... White.
Who are you?
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this last episode made me a little confused, bcs i still cant grasp if kanghan is solely trying to pursue pimfah out of pure obliviousness about his feelings for sailom, or if he's just in denial — like that one scene of grandma saying he loves sailom and him making a little fuss over it — or if he actually has some feelings for her. i wouldn't disregard the last option, but the thing is: if he actually has any feelings for her, why would he only do something about it *now*? he had years for that, but he never really tried to conquer her, at least the show didn't mention it. i remember in the novel they make his crush on her more of a big deal, but since the series are taking some different directions regarding some aspects of the story, i dont know if he just never had feelings for her and is doing it out of pure denial or if it is just a problem of development coming from the writers (which i also dont think is the case since they've been pretty solid on building things little by little). what do you guys think? i don't know if im letting something pass or if im making a big deal out of it, but i just really really want to understand where these actions came from 😭
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