I could barely glimpse the swift passing of longnose sharks, hammerhead sharks, spotted dogfish that frequent these waters, big eagle rays, swarms of seahorse looking like knights on a chessboard, eels quivering like fireworks serpents, armies of crab that fled obliquely by crossing their pincers over their carapaces, finally schools of porpoise that held contests of speed with the Nautilus. But by this point observing, studying, and classifying were out of the question.

You know it's bad when observing, studying, and classifying are out of the question.

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

The Full Metal Alchemist Live Action Movie Part 8: Watch This Episode Covered in Butts be the Only One Not Flagged by Tumblr

Gonna be risky business and not only upload all of these caps the way I screenshot them--which has just SO MANY poorly CGI’d butts but also gonna do it on the Tumblr Drafts folder, which I have been assured works now.

I’m so worried about so many things, but considering all the fears I have about like...everything else in the world right now...I guess I’ll take a risk on tumblr.

Edit: I cannot believe that I had 8ish episodes of Kaiba’s tall dueling tower get flagged but not this movie. I just....wow I cannot.

So anyway, last we left off, General Hakuro stepped in and was like “Hi guys, you like my wily plans that no one in their right mind would have ever guessed???”

Yo remember this part of the anime? Where the bodies drop from the ceiling and it’s a hunk out of the final arc--it’s here. In this movie. This movie that can’t possibly afford to do that. Lets get some CGI animated bodies in here ASAP.

(see some texture regrets under the cut)

It’s like a Monet, as the Mean Girls say, because far away and shrinked to 500 pixels this looks kinda neat. They sort of look more like those slime ball that grow in the back of your throat rather than human bodies, but they still look pretty gross hanging up there.

But then.....we zoom in. Remember again that this was full screen on my computer, and at one point was on a freakin movie screen. This level of 3d...was on a movie theater screen.

The mind boggles. The mind boggles!

Like as you know, I am an artist, and I’ve dabbled in...basically everything in my pursuit to make a dollar...and I have taken about 2 years of classes in 3D art with Maya and all those. I’m not thaaat great at it--I’m much more an illustrator/painter--but I feel like I have that reference point. Can I just say--the model is...fine...you can do a lot with layers of bump maps so you don’t need a truly detailed model (not like they did that, because they didn’t do that, but I can figure that maybe they had an intention to do that and forgot?)

But, there’s no connection of the wires to bodies. They just kinda float? The bodies are also all the same shiny-ness? To the point that it looks like a copy paste? (I don’t think it is, the wires are slightly different on a few of them) There’s just not much in the way of a texture map or a bump map. It just...there’s also something missing from the skin.

Skin is actually kind of rough to render, so when I did it back in the day, I followed like a checklist to make sure I had all the layers and steps to make someone look...clammy. Some things are kinda translucent, they reflect light a different way...especially white skin like this wouldn’t be just...white like putty. Dunno if you ever saw a white person, but we got so many veins...there was so much potential to make something really gross and fleshy.

Instead we got silly putty. It’s fine. I’m fine.

So General Hakuro decides to just...kill everyone right now.

This makes no sense to me.

That means that the whole thing of Lust killing Hughes was completely unrelated to General Hakuro. All Hakuro needed was Shou Tucker, who has been in prison for...I assume months since Ed shipped him off. And Shou was only released today? Just now? Just now when Hughes was shot?

So this all just happened at the same time by accident?

I mean the General sent us to the wrong lab initially, so he didn’t actually want us to be here, and now that we are here, he’s going to set off an entire army as a reaction to three people walking in and going “oops”?

So, lets get a look at our army.

Oh it was so disappointing, this reveal. Not just the eyeball that has a bounce light coming from below the top lip there (how did that even happen???) but also when it opened it’s mouth, it had a flat animation of skin breaking--it wasn’t actually rendered 3d skin, it was like a jpg wrapped around it or something (or at least that was the illusion I got. That is fine for a video game or a TV show, but this is a movie. This is shot so that it can be displayed in a size bigger than your own house.

What happened to the animation team on this one? Not saying I can do better, cuz no, I can’t, that 3d chapter in my life was a while back, but I’m just one guy. This was an entire animation studio and they just...didn’t render 3d face ripping (which is their entire job, to work in 3d) and then they kinda just turned on the stock physics dynamics and dropped em instead of animating them.

The way they fell was like fish from a bucket--the same amount of speed, too. they all ragdolled like a 3D shooter, their rigs just hanging on for dear life (and yes, you could see the deforming happen on the joints of these models.) I’m fine with having a computer program render something out with a physics engine...but there is a balance.

You do have to still go in there and finangle it back because...real life is hella stupid. Real physics? So stupid. It was hilarious how nonthreatening it was, too because they’re like...the size of shrimps in that zoom out image. The scale is just so wild!

It was like one bored guy in a sound booth and they multiplied his voice three times. Golden. Absolutely golden.

So these guys stride over, all of them with the same amount of speed (leading me to think it was probably a recorded walk cycle they all share with slight alterations between all of em) and they kinda just...pile on eachother in a weird way.

I will give them this: I was happy to see something that wasn’t physics or procedural. They mo-capped and animated that part for sure. It had the touch of an artist’s hand. It was also a very funny way for Hakuro to die because this guy was on screen for like 5 minutes, and maybe 7 minutes of this whole movie.

Youknow...I think it really says a lot about your nude 3d models if they’re not disturbingly human enough to trigger the tumblr filter, youknow?

Anyway, Envy looks on.

And then Gluttony saves the city.

Meanwhile, they decide to bust out the fire effects and Mustang becomes the most useful person in this entire movie. Like honestly this movie was poorly named, because it should have just been “Mustang saves the FullMetal Alchemist’s Entire Ass.”

The next part seems like I forgot a cap, or maybe missed something. I swear to you, I did not.

First off, Al becomes fullmetal and makes this happen without an alchemy circle. The show doesn’t really care to talk about that though, it’s just a thing he can do now, and you’d only notice it if you were writing a Tumblr post about it.

I swear to you, Winry is just inside of Al and there is no explanation.

There is no explanation for this.

She was on the couch...why is she not on the couch? What?

And then when you think they might have a moment, Ed’s like.

Damn.

For reals what the hell was that entire scene except for a way for Ed to get his arm stitched back on in like 2 minutes?

Outside, Envy and Lust are just strolling around the back-alley of this red brick building we have seen used for this entire movie.

And like...it’s so funny to me because they weren’t trying to run or hide. It makes complete sense why they got shot. This is what happens when you just...walk away when the whole military guard wants to kill you.

Now lets go see how Hawkeye is faring.

Luckily, all of the ambling bodies have decided to walk slowly through this one weird grass section between extremely long buildings.

And Hawkeye tells everyone “You have to shoot their heads off” and I want you to look at that scene and tell me how many of those bodies still have heads.

Oh, all of them. Don’t worry about it.

Kinda hard to see, but Ed shows up to give Mustang a hand, which was fully unnecessary but we’ll get to that in a bit.

This movie is such a gem.

Ed goes big brain and realizes that Envy is still burned up, and thus is about to pass on.

And whatever, I’ll take it. It’s not like the movie has told us that they are made out of 1000000 lives, for all we know, in the movie universe, they really are only 4 lives. Like half a cat. Maybe Father only killed half a cat instead of an entire city.

Yugi Muto would be so freakin proud of Envy for how often this guy gets hit square in the chest with fire balls. It’s basically every scene where Envy and Mustang share screen time.

And don’t worry, I don’t think Envy died? But they sure made it look like he did, which I’m sure everyone everywhere was really happy to see, since Envy’s death was one of the climaxes of the whole series. Like people used to make these lists of “top 10 saddest anime deaths” and how many people had Envy on there? Like everyone? People freakin love Envy and they did him so much dirty in this movie.

Again I have no explanation for Winry.

So Mustang is like, Ed, you make sure Winry doesn’t biff it in that corner, and I’ll do my actual job over here on this side. And yo, he did.

And so then that’s it, Lust is dead, and now we have a Sorcerer’s stone.

Man it looks delicious, right?

I’d eat the hell out of that.

Anyway, we only have one more update and we’re done with this movie!

I know!

I know! They only have 10-15 minutes to resolve pretty much everything, and that’s assuming that the credits don’t take up a heap of that. Hell, I might only have 3 caps next episode if that’s all credits. I honestly don’t remember.

Anyway, hope y’all take it easy this February, here is a link for people who just got here to read these FMA recaps in Chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

Diving Deep

Hello, @badluckcharm-exe! It’s finally done! Sorry this took forever and a day. Inspiration decided to take a vacation for a while... Regardless, I hope you enjoy this. I’ll be sure to get it up on AO3 tomorrow 💚

Prompt was for a Mermaid AU. 

“Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream—”

“Holy shit, kid, you’re twelve. Don’t you know any other songs?”

Oscar blinked, finally drawing his gaze away from the aquarium. The hallway they stood in had water on both sides as well as above, a dome that never failed to leave Qrow’s stomach queasy because good god what happened if that glass ever broke? Oscar had no such reservations. He pressed right against the barrier—things with teeth passing him by—until the water rippled off his skin and there was a green tint to his eyes.

“I’m fourteen,” he said, head cocked strangely against the glass.

“That’s worse.”

Oscar shrugged. “I like it. The song I mean. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. If you meet the kelpie’s eyes then don’t forget to scream.”

…What the actual fuck?

It wasn’t the first time the kid had said something totally off the wall. Qrow leaned on his mop, watching Oscar tap the glass until, coincidentally, a bright orange fish swam up to where he stood. Qrow had worked at Atlas Labs nearly a year now and knew that, no matter what Ozpin claimed, they were only surrounded by a bunch of dumb animals. You couldn’t train a fish to come when called, no more than he’d been able to train Oscar to be marginally less annoying. Honestly, what the ever loving hell was a kelpie?

“Hey.” Qrow tapped his boot until Oscar finally looked his way. The fish immediately swam off. “If you’re just gonna stand there how about you help me wipe down the glass?” That way Qrow didn’t need to go near all that nonsense. “All boys your age should have chores. Builds character. Or something.”

For reasons unknown to him Oscar’s eyes strayed to the bucket full of water next to Qrow’s feet. He split into a grin.

“Nope! Tell Dad I said hi!”

And Oscar scurried off, boots squeaking on the tiled floor as he disappeared around a corner. He’d left smudges on the glass and a scuff where he’d stood. Great. 

Another bug-eyed fish bumped against the glass parallel to Qrow’s head. He scowled.

“What the hell are you looking at?”

***

Atlas Labs. Renowned world-wide for their cutting advancements in marine biology. Not exactly the sort of research that got Qrow all hot and bothered, but what could he say? People were weird. Apparently while most looked to the skies for answers to Earth’s problems, the real scientists were turning to the many mysteries of the seas. Our origins, future, even a chance at immortality—all of it was hidden somewhere beneath the waves. At least, that’s what Ozpin claimed.

Not that Ozpin was any less weird than his son.

“Your brat says ‘hi.’”

Lithe and tall enough to hit his head on the occasional hanging lamp, Ozpin Pine presumably had his picture printed next to the dictionary definition of ‘eccentric.’ Qrow had never seen him in anything other than a wrinkled green suit (not the same one every day… surely?) and a lab coat stained with all sorts of things that he never needed identified, thanks. A mop of white hair looked perpetually windblown despite the fact that the man rarely stepped outside and Oz wore these teeny tiny glasses that couldn’t possibly help a flea see, let alone a grown-ass man. He wore rings on his fingers, a long line of earrings, and had hidden tattoos that Qrow sometimes caught peeking out from beneath the cuff of his shirt. It hurt to look at him. In the same way it hurt to look at an ongoing car wreck while being blinded by the sun. Ozpin was, simply put, an oddball.

And Qrow would have laid down his life for him.

Heh. Not to be dramatic or anything, but there weren’t many world-renowned scientists in this place who’d design to speak kindly to their janitor. Or speak to him at all. His first day Ozpin had slipped a sweet from his pocket into Qrow’s hand, made some horrendous joke, introduced Oscar as “My much beloved offspring” (what?), and capped it all off with the warmest smile Qrow had ever had the privilege of soaking up. Those scraps of kindness would have bred devotion on their own, but Ozpin genuinely seemed to like him, as ridiculous as that seemed. Qrow had thought this job was going to be the worst of the many he’d grabbed in the last three years. Instead it was…

Interesting. Yeah. It was something alright.

Ozpin had no inkling of Qrow’s inner judgement. He was too busy comically looking around the floor, or roughly around the height where a pint-sized teen might stand.

“My brat?” he asked, smiling so wide the florescent lights glinted off his back teeth. He took another candy from his pocket and munched it, seemingly thoughtful. Qrow had heard the other scientists bitching about Ozpin bringing food into the labs, claiming that it would attract animals. Like they weren’t already surrounded by animals. Duh.

Qrow eyed the tank in the far corner of Ozpin’s office. Like every other room in Atlas it was a space with aquarium tendencies, though this tank wasn’t listed on any of the public tours. The fish in there were clearly some special experiment of Oz’s, with bright neon strips on top and transparent bodies below. Qrow caught a glimpse of fish skeleton and swallowed back a gag.

“Yes, your brat. He kept bugging me while I cleaned the entryway. Don’t you have a leash for him or something?” Qrow started emptying the trash bins while Oz watched, gaze so focused it seemed to sizzle a hole in the back of his uniform. He did a lot of that. Watching. Qrow had also heard the other nerds complaining about Ozpin’s overly observant nature, saying he wasn’t just intense, but downright creepy.  

Weren’t science types supposed to be curious about everything though? If Ozpin wanted to examine the slope of Qrow’s ass, then by all means.

He bent a little farther while picking up the next can, just in case that really was what Oz was interested in. Gray slacks and beige boots weren’t exactly the height of style, but Qrow was confident in his ability to work even the saddest of outfits. Besides, it wasn’t like Ozpin had room to judge. Today he had a stack of jelly bracelets on his left wrist and an octopus pin on the collar of his coat. The man was a hodge-podge of strange adornments, wearing each and every one like they were actually fashionable.

Months he’d been at this job and Qrow was still trying to figure out if the man was just that dense or just that indifferent. Besides, none of this even touched on Ozpin’s tendency to—

“I’m afraid not. I tried a leash of kelp once and Oscar slipped right out of it. He always was such a nimble little fry.”

—say weird shit.

Like father, like son. Apparently.

Qrow paused in the act of dumping five billion used tissues into his cart. He pinched the bridge of his nose. It was 10:00 at night and he didn’t have the energy to tackle whatever the hell a kelp leash was. Instead Qrow raised a single finger, letting it flop. “Nimble fry? Should I serve Oscar up with ketchup tomorrow?”

Which resulted in Ozpin throwing his head back and laughing—literally, like something out of a cartoon. His desk was a mess of papers covered in rainbow highlighting and the bookcase next to that was organized by color rather than genre. Or heaven forbid, last name. Between those and the fish (and his iffy fashion sense) Ozpin was surrounded by color in the otherwise sterile room. It was like this wherever he went. Ozpin blended in with the vibrant life of the tanks around them; always looking like he was more at home with the water just out of reach. Qrow supposed that was a good thing for a man who’d devoted his life to marine biology. It did make one wonder about stupid, sappy things though. Like fate maybe. What kind of man was born with eyes the color of sand and a smile that lit you up like a glimpse of the horizon?  

Sometimes Qrow wondered if he’d hear waves if he listened for Oz’s heartbeat. Would he taste salt on his lips?

Right now Qrow had neither. All he could smell was trash.

“A fry is a juvenile fish,” Ozpin said, still wiping tears from his eyes. “Ah, but you’re a fry too, aren’t you, Qrow? So very young. I wouldn’t expect you to know such things.”

Ozpin came up and actually gave his cheek a pat, like some doting grandmother humoring her young charge. Qrow got a close look at his unlined face and could see how soft his hair was, with none of the wiry texture that usually accompanied gray strands. For a man who loved teasing him about his age (not nearly as young as people tended to assume), Ozpin didn’t look a day over thirty himself. It was just one more of his oddities. Qrow had stopped bothering to count them long ago.  

Instead he leaned into Ozpin’s touch when his hand decided to rest on his cheek a moment, like some rare bird designing to visit. Ozpin’s fingers were cool as their pads lightly took in the texture of Qrow’s skin. He thought he saw Ozpin’s pupils dilating, blowing black against brown, though that may have just been a trick of the light.

“Is anyone gonna let me do some actual work around here?” he finally groused. A moment longer and Qrow might not have let Ozpin go.

“You should be very proud,” he said, voice carrying a touch of awe that didn’t sit right with the rest of the scene. Ozpin was looking at a bio waste bag. “You have such a wonderful job.”

Qrow stared. Then he looked down to make sure that yes, he was still a janitor and yes, those were drops of day-old coffee on his shoes. A smear of something vile-smelling on his sleeve. Everything else was disinfectant.

“I do?”

“Of course! Why, it’s a service. You keep things neat and sterile. You help make sure my family has a lovely home to keep coming back to.” Ozpin rested his hand on the tank and all the fish congregated around his reflection. Must think it was time for food or something. Qrow was used to the term ‘family’ getting thrown out when Ozpin was speaking and slimy, big-eyed fish were involved. That hardly fazed him nowadays.

The idea that someone found janitorial work impressive? That was something out of left field. Qrow could feel the blush now staining his cheeks.

“Guess I’m not the worst at it,” he muttered, taking up his bag again because damn, he couldn’t look Ozpin in the eye when he got like this. He was expecting another non-sequitor into the new book he was reading, or maybe the fact that Oscar had started collecting forks again (don’t ask). Instead Qrow felt a touch at the crook of his arm, as gentle as when Ozpin had touched his cheek. He stepped closer. 

“You truly are marvelous,” Ozpin whispered.

“…Do you hear the stuff that comes out of your mouth?”

“Oh yes. Sometimes I’m the only one who hears. Except Oscar, of course…and you. You’ve always heard me, haven’t you, Qrow? Tell me, do you enjoy the music?”

Must just mean music. In general, like. Qrow suspected that Ozpin was foreign, slipping articles in where none where needed because there certainly wasn’t any music playing now.

…Right?

He wasn’t holding the trash bag anymore. It was thrown haphazardly across his cart, now replaced with Ozpin’s cool, surprisingly smooth hand. Qrow stared  down at the appendage, reeling, wondering when that had happened and why. How many times was the man going to touch him tonight—freely—when he’d kept some sort of distance all these months before?  

“You do hear,” Ozpin murmured, seemingly to himself. “And Oscar is so very fond of you…why, we both are.” His contemplative look suddenly split like ripe fruit, revealing a blinding smile beneath. “Come, Qrow. Let me show you.”

“Show me what?”

Don’t ask too many questions. You’ll spoil the fun. Ozpin had said that to him once when Qrow had feigned an interest in all his nasty fish, figuring that maybe he’d have some sort of chance if there was a shared interest between them, even a faked one. Instead his words had been rebuffed, Ozpin seeming to stare through him to the lie beneath, finding it all very humorous. Qrow wasn’t surprised that his questions weren’t answered now.

Instead Ozpin led him down the long corridors of Atlas labs, their steps echoing and their breathing overly loud. The aquarium around them shifted with dark blues and greens. The fish seemed to follow, waiting.

It occurred to Qrow then that they were the only ones here. He was the late-night janitor. Ozpin was the workaholic who never seemed to sleep. The only thing that broke the isolation was Oscar’s voice drifting faintly down the hall as he sang that insistent song. Row, row, row, your boat. Where to though? They were the only ones here and suddenly that seemed as much a possibility as a threat.

Don’t forget to scream.

Qrow opened his mouth, but all that came out was a soft, devoted sigh. He stepped into the water.

…water?

“There you are,” Ozpin said. It came out as a coo. “Quite lovely, isn’t it?”

He’d taken him to one of the wading pools. Into the wading pool, where the wildlife swam free, providing the scientists with a place to get up close and personal with their research. A tiny part of Qrow’s mind expressed surprise that Ozpin had stepped in with him—he and Oscar had always had such a strange aversion to touching water, despite their love of it. Filled boots. Wet pants sticking to his ankles, now his thighs. A slightly larger part of him was sending off panicked signals, claiming that he never ever wanted to be this close to a bunch of fish. There were little guppy things scurrying about. Rays with long tails. What might have been a small shark. Everything circled around them as they moved forward, a whirlpool of all the things Qrow had wanted to avoid since taking this position.

Except for Ozpin. Qrow waded deeper, moving towards him and him alone.

“You heard, Qrow. Do you see too?”

Dumbly, Qrow stared down at their still clasped hands. There were membranes between Ozpin’s fingers now and when he smiled his teeth had grown sharper. He’d grown more.

There was a ledge where the pool connected to the tank, a space between the two worlds just large enough for the kinder animals to slip through. Or perhaps two men. One man and… Ozpin; who pulled Qrow under with a forceful, determined tug.

He’d always thought it would be boring under the water. All dark and silent. Far from it though. When Qrow first jerked in panic Ozpin was there, his tattoos, his scales bright within the pool’s gloom, casting little prisms between them. His tail pulled Qrow close while his pupils narrowed into slits. There were tender, clawed hands bowing his shoulders.

There was a moment of suspension then, poised somewhere between bobbing and swimming. Qrow caught Ozpin’s gaze and gave himself up to drowning in those eyes.

Well done, they seemed to say. A mouth filled with teeth and fierce possession leaned in for what might have been a kiss.

Qrow had always taken his chances. He met Ozpin halfway and what do you know.

He tasted salt.

Flavour of the day

Pairing: none // gen chocobros

Word count: 1,800

Summary: The saddest thing about Altissia is that the ice cream melts too fast

[Read on AO3]

The mild oceanic climate of Altissia was a lie. A merciless advertising scam, if Prompto were to be completely honest. They had maybe four hours in the morning before the temperature spiked way out of a tolerable range, and they never managed to drag Noct out of bed early enough to use that time. Now, a little past noon, the open bridges and plazas turned into a frying pan. Those smooth white walls might have looked like sculpted from snow, but up close they were almost scalding. Even the gentle breeze lifting from the canals didn’t help much. Prompto squinted at the waves lapping lazily at the sides of a passing gondola. What a heartless monster could build a city right on the water and then ban swimming?

“Guys, I think I’m dying,” he whined.

“If you can still think, surely it can’t be that bad.” Ignis’s voice was light and even, as if he hadn’t just climbed up and down a dozen flights of stairs under the blistering sun. Somehow, he still looked fresh as a daisy in his impeccable button-up; he barely rolled up his sleeves.

“Seriously!” Prompto wheezed, flopping against the bannister and flinching away just as quickly when the stone burned his bare arm. “Let’s find some shade before we all drop from heatstroke.”

Gladio snorted. He, at least, had the decency to sweat a bit.

“You climbed an active volcano and you can’t handle a little sun?”

“Easy for you to say, big guy. You’re not even wearing a shirt!”

“You can lose yours, too. Who’s stopping you?”

“No way, man!” Prompto tugged at his vest, flapping the thick denim in a vain attempt to fan himself with it. “This is my style. I can’t just ditch it!”

“If you say so.” Gladio clapped him on the back and walked past, into yet another sunlit street. Prompto followed him closely, trying to stay in the patch of shadow he cast and not be too obvious about it. Up ahead, Noct was already checking out his third fishing spot that day. This time, thank the gods, it was shaded.

“Dude, tell me this is a good place. I wanna stay here forever.” Prompto plopped down next to him, sprawling flat and boneless across the pier. The chilly paving against his skin was just about the best feeling ever. “Ugh, I feel like I’ve been cuddling with Ifrit.”

Noct nudged him with his foot, eyes never leaving the greenish depth before them.

“You okay?”

“I’ll live.” With a sigh, Prompto rolled over on his stomach to face the graceful buildings lining the other bank. The tall towers and colonnades piercing the clear blue sky shone like beacons, beckoning. Usually, watching Noct fish could get pretty boring – but not here. He could never get enough of those sights.

The camera appeared in his hands as soon as he thought of it, pure instinct at this point. He snapped a few shots right from where he sat, catching the whole waterfront panorama bit by bit. The sun was high, drawing deep shadows around the edges of carved facades and casting sparks off the rippling waves below. It hurt his eyes even through the viewfinder. With a flick of his hand, Prompto dismissed the camera back to the Armiger, but stayed on the lookout, drinking in the views all around.

Behind his back, the street opened into a small square, packed with people and bursting with colours. He spotted Ignis not far away, checking out some paintings at one of the stalls along the wall. Prompto’s eyes swept over the booths, over flowers and souvenirs – and stopped at something much more interesting.

“Hey, Noct!” he called, tapping his friend on the shin to get his attention. “Look!”

Noct didn’t look. Didn’t even look like he heard him. But Gladio did, and that was good enough.

“What is it?” he asked, in a tone that suggested anything would be better than sitting there and watching Noct lose the staring contest with the Cygillan Sea Bass. Prompto perked up, sending him a grateful glance behind their prince’s back.

“Over there.” He pointed to a stand at the far end, a little green cart with a glass lid and a sign that made his overheated heart sing with joy.

“Gelato?” Gladio peered at the letters with a thoughtful frown. “Might not be a bad idea. Hey, princess! Want some ice cream?”

Miraculously, Noct looked up at last, putting his rod away in a flash of blue light.

“Sure,” he said.

Prompto missed the shade as soon as they left the pier, but the closer they got to the cart, the more he became sure it was worth it. The mere sight of the overflowing tubs sparkling with frost on the edges made him feel cooler already.

“What have we here?” Ignis joined them in three quick strides, his eyes sharp as he studied the glass case.

“The ultimate Altissian dessert!” The nice older lady at the counter lit up with pride. “The same original recipe for over eighty years, in twenty three unique flavours. Care to get some, boys?”

“We gotta try, right?” Prompto looked pleadingly at his friends, even though the answer was obvious.

“Of course!” Ignis put on a small smile, the closest equivalent to giddy in his body language. “It would be a shame not to taste the local cuisine when the opportunity arises.”

The vendor gave him a little nod, clearly pleased to meet a fellow enthusiast of the craft. “What would you like, then?”

“The Veldorian wine sounds good.” Gladio looked up from the list on the display and dug in his pocket for loose change. “It says here it’s made with real wine, that true?”

“That’s right!” The vendor beamed at him as she handed him the cone. “Great choice, it’s one of our most popular flavours. What’s next?”

“Some of these seem rather unconventional.” Ignis tapped his chin, and it was plain to see he could barely keep himself from making notes right on the spot. “I’m feeling adventurous. Perhaps… Chocolate chili, please.”

Prompto whistled, camera at the ready. No way he could miss that expression.

“Whoa, Iggy! How’s that supposed to cool you down?”

The vendor smiled a knowing smile and passed Ignis his heaping scoop.

“Oh, it will do the job just fine, dear. And for you?”

“Man…” He could go cross-eyed looking at this rainbow of flavours. “So many choices… I have to think! Okay, okay, okay, ummm… Ulwaat berries?”

“Here you are.” And wow, that cone really deserved a photo, but Prompto was too afraid he’d drop it to risk maneuvering with the camera. He’d just have to treasure this memory forever in his mind.

“It’s so hard to decide, right?” He turned to Noct, stepping aside to make room for him in front of the display – but Noct didn’t even spare it a glance.

“Yeah,” he grunted and gave the vendor a slanted smile. “I don’t know. Surprise me.”

“Very well.” The vendor seemed surprised too, but she piled a generous scoop from a tub on the far end. “I hope you enjoy!”

Enjoy didn’t even start to describe it. As they weaved through the crowd, trying not to smear their precious treats onto passing people, Prompto felt closer to heaven with every second. Altissian gelato was so much better than the ice pops he’d had before – thick and creamy, and didn’t taste like licking the freezer door. There were even whole berries in it, too, bursting on his tongue like tiny bombs of vibrant flavour.

“This wine really packs a punch,” Gladio muttered, a praise he hardly ever doled out during training.

“Hope it doesn’t go to your head,” Prompto chuckled.

“No way. I’m not a lightweight like you to get drunk on a scoop of ice cream.”

“I dunno, dude. As our friend Dino would say, it’s a real big scoop.”

“Enough,” Gladio groaned and bit into his ice cream as if he wanted to freeze that pun out of his brain. Beside him, Ignis winced with abject horror.

“Have mercy, Gladio, this is no way to eat that.”

“What? This?” Gladio took another bite, looking him straight in the eye. Ignis squirmed, his face a perfect blend of misery and discomfort.

“Honestly. How can you stand doing this? Do try to savour it a little. Your teeth will thank you as well.”

Gladio’s teeth sank into the scoop again, unperturbed. “It’s faster this way.”

“Positively barbaric,” Ignis sighed fondly and reached to wipe a dollop of ice cream off Gladio’s nose. Gladio huffed, but didn’t stop him.

“What can I do, it’s good stuff.” He shrugged. “I’m not gonna wait for it to melt all over me like Prince Snoozy over here.”

Prompto glanced over to Noct, just in time to see a fat drop of ice cream slowly roll down the side of his cone.

“Watch out, Noct! You’re leaking!”

“Where?” Noct tipped his cone dangerously, and Prompto’s stomach twisted with fear for all that poor, beautiful ice cream.

“No, the other side! The other!”

“Don’t see it.”

“Dude.” Giving up, Prompto swooped in and licked the dripping bit before it could make a mess. Noct stared at him, barely restraining a smile.

“Gross,” he said flatly.

“Nah, it’s pretty good.” Prompto quickly turned back to his own cone to save it from sharing the same fate. “What is it, mango?”

“No idea.” Noct shrugged. “Didn’t see what she gave me.”

“I should taste it for you.” Gladio nudged him on the shoulder. “You know, just in case. It’s my duty as your Shield. Who knows what’s in it, right?”

Noct quickly moved his cone away from him.

“I’m halfway done with it already. Bit late for that.”

“Better safe than sorry.” Gladio leaned over and took a solid lick of Noct’s ice cream. “Hmmm, this is good. Hey, Iggy, give it a try!”

“I’m quite all right with my own, thank you.”

“No, Ignis, you should totally try it!” Prompto goaded, immediately catching on to that impish glint in Gladio’s eye. “Maybe you can figure out what flavour it is!”

“Yeah, and maybe it will inspire you for some new recipe.”

“You guys are horrible,” Noct decided, protectively stuffing half of his cone into his mouth.

“But that’s why you love us.” Prompto summoned his camera, mindless of the berry goop trickling over his fingers. He clicked the shutter button time and again, capturing Noct’s indignant face full of ice cream, Ignis stealing a lick from Gladio, all four of them with colourful smears over their smiles. They came out a bit blurry, with the blazing Altissian sun behind their backs, but it didn’t matter. Those were still some of the best shots he’d ever taken.

Survival Movies - The Cream of the Crop and Those That Didn't Shine

The popularity of relic movies has truly grown over the when couple of years. I have rated these movies in three alternative categories. The categories are: realisticness, relic value and entertainment factor. Each of these is on a A - F Grading Scale like A innate best and F innate worst. These ratings are every based upon my counsel in view of that you may not mood the same.

https://thesurvivaltabs.com/

Waterworld - Realisticness - D relic Value - D Entertainment factor - C+ The Earth is now filled like water, but some people undertake there is yet temperate home on the earth. This is one of the many survival movies roughly the battle over resources. As in many movies, this is a fight in the company of the protagonist (Kevin Costner) and the rival (Dennis Hopper) and his followers (called the smokers). This movie is fun to watch but I don't feel it was feasible or offered much in the artifice of holdover value.

The Postman - Realisticness - B relic Value - C Entertainment factor - B I vibes the reviews of this movie by critics don't come up with the money for it justice. In this film, the associated States is a certainly interchange place when little order. Many people have afterward help to a dark ages style of successful in the manner of no electricity, utterly little law, and a tyrant thug (Will Patton) irritating to gain power. The protagonist (Kevin Costner), a drifter, finds a pretension to create a difference in the world even though he is originally single-handedly anxious just about his own livelihood and without difficulty - being. This was a unconditionally long movie, but I in reality enjoyed it and liked its sense of hope. I thought this movie offered decently doable perception on what could happen later than a laboratory analysis of action and numerous years of lawlessness. It had a few areas that I think gave it some survival value, but overall, it was just one of the humorous survival movies.

The Road - Realisticness - A survival Value - B Entertainment factor - C While I didn't setting this was one of the holdover movies that lived going on to my expectations, I air it proficiently portrayed the emotional rollercoaster that an end of the world issue would create. The characters in this movie were not skillful to trust anyone re them, and they lacked the resources indispensable to carry upon a usual life, which could be an accurate upshot in a genuine societal breakdown. I think this movie, even if subconscious boring in some spots, felt totally practicable and showed the dreary twist of the main atmosphere (Viggo Mortenson) in a make known apocalyptic world bearing in mind no hope. upon the survival value front, I thought there were some topics to understand away from the relation lineage that would be useful in real life. I felt that this movie allowed me to do that striving for happiness and wishing to bring to life simulation to the fullest despite awful circumstances is key to beating the end.

I am Legend - Realisticness - C survival Value - B - Entertainment factor - B This is unconventional of the survival movies that I think showed great emotion. The main feel (Will Smith) and his dog try to survive throughout this film despite the constant threat of zombies. I will say this movie has one of the saddest scenes in any movie I have ever seen, which makes the total movie worth watching. This holdover movie truly shows you how important a companion is later you are lonely. further than the importance of companionship, there were single-handedly a few leftover lessons to be learned.

Book of Eli - Realisticness - C leftover Value - C Entertainment factor - B I felt stamp album of Eli subsequent to Denzel Washington and Mila Kunis was worth the watch. This relic movie showed how important bodily familiar of your surroundings is. in addition to in a misfortune ridden world it shows how there will be people that will give a positive response capacity any habit they look fit. The use of religion to manage people is what the opponent (Gary Oldman) uses to get power. If you are a Christian or are religious this is unconditionally an important movie to watch because it shows how people can use religion and the Bible for good as with ease as evil to push their own motives. Even so, in the end, this movie didn't accomplish the Bible or Christianity in a bad light. I thought the lesson of beast au fait was the best leftover value it gave.

Jeremiah Johnson - Realisticness - A Survival Value - B Entertainment factor - B Jeremiah Johnson (Robert Redford) is one of the best relic movies. This movie is roughly a man who wants to stimulate as a hermit living off the land, who wishes to be left alone to reach his own thing. This is the oldest movie upon my list and in addition to one of the best. I agree to it has good holdover value and is quite realistic. In one scene, Jeremiah Johnson finds a man who has been dead for a even though in the same way as a note upon him saying, "I, Hatchet Jack, instinctive of unquestionable mind and broke legs, reach hereby leaveth my bear rifle to all finds it, Lord hope it be a white man. It is a good rifle, and killt the bear that killt me. Anyway, I am dead. Yours truly, Hatchet Jack." How can you not love this movie in the manner of a scene with that? This movie is good at depicting how to alive off the home and be self - sufficient.

Castaway - Realisticness - B leftover Value - C Entertainment factor - B Castaway, starring Tom Hanks, is a associates holdover movie. There is some holdover value to this movie as soon as starting a ember or taking an abscessed tooth out bearing in mind an ice skate. The main mood is on the go in a commercial UPS type aircraft smash that leaves him ashore on an island in the same way as no extra survivors. It illustrates how ingenious people can be considering they pull off not have the gratifying tools for survival.

Into the Wild - Realisticness - A leftover Value - B Entertainment factor - B Into the wild is the legal leftover bill of Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch) who gives up his shadowy simulation to roam the US and live in Alaska. This is an ultimate adventure movie that shows how Christopher lived every by himself in the Alaskan wilderness behind lonely what he could carry on his back. This film offered good relic value, and it taught me something enormously important: never eat wild flora and fauna unless you know exactly what they are and if they are safe to eat.

Zombieland - Realisticness - D leftover Value - D Entertainment factor - A - This is really a comedic gain access to at the relic and zombie genre. even if there is in reality no realisticness or leftover value to talk of it, is totally funny. This relic movie stars Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, and Emma Stone. During the film, they all arrive together to help each further survive a zombie infested world. In my opinion, one of the best cameos of every times occurs during this movie. Just watch and see!

28 Days far along - Realisticness - B survival Value - C Entertainment factor - B 28 Days later is a relic movie starring Cillian Murphy (Batman Begins). After a virus wipes out on the order of everybody upon the planet, a few survivors come together to attempt and find a secure place to live. This was a fine movie that portrayed what could happen if an epidemic were to improvement unquestionably quickly. This relic movie does not have tons of survival value, but it yet provides sharpness upon the possibility of a nation or worldwide epidemic.

Mad Max/Road Warrior/Beyond Thunderdome - Realisticness - D relic Value - D Entertainment factor - B Mad Max, The Road Warrior, and higher than Thunderdome are enormously comical and fun leftover movies to watch, but they are agreed unrealistic. Mel Gibson stars as mad Max, a man who lives in a say apocalyptic world who along with tries to include dynamism for himself and others. There truly was not much survival value in these movies, but there are cold vehicles afterward many types of weapons, which makes them entertaining.

Red dawn - Realisticness - B - holdover Value - B Entertainment factor - A+ Red coming on is not just one of my favorite relic movies, but then one of my favorite movies It has quite a few stars back they were household names (Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey). The Russians and Cubans have taken allowance of Colorado and are rounding people up, whom they take to be threats, into camps. A bureau of tall schoolers acquire together and enliven in the woods. They badge themselves the "Wolverines" and try to consent put up to the house that was in the past theirs. This is a great movie that provided relic value in the mannerism of uncovered living, hunting and fishing. The further situation I love about this movie, that others have after that expressed, is that later than you finish watching this movie, you setting agreed patriotic and unfriendly of the great people that living in the united States.

Rescue arrival - Realisticness - A holdover Value - B Entertainment factor - C This survival movie is the legal credit of Dieter Dengler (Christian Bale), a German American fighter pilot whose aircraft is shot down higher than Laos during the Vietnam fighting and captured. I admit this film gives you a characterize of how the lively conditions in prisoner camps were. Additionally, it shows how important having a mighty - will is bearing in mind you craving to get out of a seemingly dead end situation. There are many scenes in this film that have relic value, especially gone they run away from the camp and must rouse outdoors and survive in the wild.