I love these guys

So. Design time

hi guys i finally got through the post game for pla (save for the very final encounter since i have to finish my dex, thanks god) and i have SO many thoughts.

i knew that volo was Giratinas Specialest Boy of course but not why or really what happened entirely and i will say the build up to the twist is pretty nice imo. if i hadn't known he would do this already i think it would've been a pleasant surprise you look back at the signs that you didn't really notice.

i will say though that everything after he changed into that ugly ass outfit was kind of anticlimactic, especially compared to platinum's ending regarding cyrus. like cyrus still walks away and vows to follow through, but cyrus is in the distortion world, so there's a lot more to play with there. a lot more finality.

obviously they couldn't do much in the ways of, say, killing him off since they were so heavy handed in setting him up as cynthia's ancestor. but it just wasn't satisfying at all. there was no redemption arc or really any arc at all. he's just like Whoops! Oh well! and gives up until he sees you really ARE the chosen one from arceus and he gets mad again. but he doesn't even do anything. he just walks away and its so maddening.

i know pokemon main games dont expand on the lore too much and leave much to interpretation but i think this was just bad writing. i think if they really wanted to mimic platinum & the final boss encounter, instead of giratina just phase changing into origin forme (without usage of the griseous orb?), i think it would have been better if giratina pulled us into the distortion world or at the very least opened up another rift in space-time that led there when it fled.

giratina seemed to flee because its pride was hurt, not to lick its wounds, which was also disappointing. it's not even just volo insulting it after the fact, it's just like. man the full fight with volo was harder than both phases of giratina despite being after volo's 6 pokemon. if giratina was so vengeful in this era (later becoming benevolent in platinum), then it would've made sense for giratina and volo (since it is implied he relates to giratina on some level) to have some sort of redemption arc, which could have taken place in the distortion world.

in the distortion world i think we battle giratina in origin forme but after wandering around for a bit. and volo is in there too and possibly corrupted a bit (but in a Family Friendly Nintendo Way ig). and then by the power of friendship, just like volo, however fake he had been when he did it, had extended to us during the entirety of our journey. and we fix him lol

i was already a bit put off by the main game ending so suddenly (i wish volo's arc had been part of the main game and not post-game entirely) and this was just. really bad writing. i was also disappointed in cyllene not really...doing anything. when we were banished i was hoping she would like secretly help us more than what she did. but she really didn't do anything much (despite cynthia having many appearances even outside of dppt). and also cogita, who is shrouded in mystery, but i really wish she had been accessible way earlier in the game to hint at things even if she didn't do anything but recycle npc phrases.

i hate dlc and i hate nintendo but i really want there to be some sort of follow up already. i cannot imagine anything with arceus really wraps anything up. i enjoyed the gameplay overall but it was disappointing in the end (which is even more disappointing since sinnoh is my favorite region/gen and i refuse to acknowledge the disappointment that are the remakes).

2020 Gameological Awards

Over on the Gameological Discord, we have an annual tradition of writing up our games of the year not as a ranked list but rather as answers to a series of prompts. Here are my personal choices for the year that was 2020.

Favorite Game of the Year

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked into Paradise Killer. I knew that I liked the vaporwave resort aesthetic from the game’s trailer and figured I was in for a Danganronpa-style murder mystery visual novel with an open-ended murder mystery at its core. Those assumptions were… half-right? The game definitely plays out like the exploration bits of Danganronpa set on the island from Myst but with far simpler puzzles. What I didn’t expect was to fall so deeply in love with the environment—its nooks and crannies, its millennia of lore, its brutalist overlap of idol worship, consumerism, and mass slaughter. It makes sense that the world of Paradise Killer is its strongest feature, since the cast of NPCs don’t really move around, leaving you alone with the world for the overwhelming majority of your experience as you bounce back and forth between digging around for clues and interrogating potential witnesses. And despite what the promo materials indicated, there IS a definitive solution to the crimes you’re brought in to investigate, the game just lets you make judgment based on whatever evidence you have at the time you’re ready to call it a day, so if you’re missing crucial evidence you might just make a compelling enough case for the wrong person and condemn them to eternal nonexistence. Am I happy with the truth at the end of the day? No, and neither is anybody else I’ve spoken to who completed the game, but we all were also completely enthralled the entire time and our dissatisfaction has less to do with the game and more to do with the ugly reality of humanity. I’ve always been of the mindset that “spoilers” are absolute garbage and that a story should be just as good whether you know the twist or not and any story that relies on surprising the audience with an unexpected reveal is not actually that good a story, but Paradise Killer is a game about piecing together your own version of events so I feel that it’s vital to the gameplay experience that people go in knowing as little as possible and gush all about it afterwards. Just trust me, if the game looks even remotely intriguing to you, go for it. I’ve had just as much fun talking about the game after I finished it with friends just getting started as I did actually solving its mysteries myself.

Best Single Player Game

I honestly missed out on the buzz for In Other Waters at launch, so I’m happy I had friends online talking it up as Black Friday sales were coming along. The minimal aesthetic of his underwater exploration game allows the focus to shift more naturally to the game’s stellar writing as a lone scientist goes off in search of her mentor and the secrets they were hiding on an alien world. It only took a few hours for me to become completely absorbed in this narrative and keep pushing forward into increasingly dangerous waters. In Other Waters might just be the best sci-fi story I experienced all year and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys sci-fi novels, regardless of their experience with video games.

Best Multiplayer Game

Look, we all know this year sucked. 2020 will absolutely be chronicled in history books as a fascinating and deeply depressing time in modern history where we all stayed inside by ourselves and missed our friends and family. It was lonely and it was bleak. Which is why it made my heart glow so much more warmly every time I got a letter from an honest-to-goodness real-life friend in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Knowing that they were playing the same game I was and hearing about their experiences and sending each other wacky hats or furniture, it lightened the days and made us feel that little bit more connected. Sure, when the game first launched we would actually take the time to visit one another’s islands, hang out, chat in real-time, and exchange gifts, but we all eventually got busy with Zoom calls, sourdough starters, and watching Birds of Prey twenty-two times. Still, sending letters was enough. It was and still is a touching little way to show that we’re here for one another, if not at the exact same time.

Favorite Ongoing Game

Zach Gage is one of my favorite game designers right now, and when I heard he was releasing a game called Good Sudoku I was sold sight unseen. The game as released was… fine. It’s sudoku and it’s pleasant, but it was also buggy and overheated my phone in a way I hadn’t seen since Ridiculous Fishing (also by Zach Gage) seven years ago. Thankfully, the most glaring bugs have been fixed and I can now enjoy popping in every day for some quick logic puzzle goodness. Daily ranked leaderboards keep me coming back again and again, the steady ramp of difficulty in the arcade and eternal modes means I can always chase the next dopamine rush of solving increasingly complex puzzles. It’s not a traditional “ongoing” game the way, say, Fortnite and Destiny are, but I’m happy to come back every day for sudoku goodness.

Didn't Click For Me

With Fortnite progressively losing me over the course of 2020, finalizing with my wholesale “never again” stance after Epic boss Tim Sweeney compared Fortnite demanding more money from Apple to the American Civil Rights movement (no, absolutely not), I dipped my toe into a number of new “battle pass”-style online arena types of games, and while Genshin Impact eventually got its hooks into me, Spellbreak absolutely did not. With graphics straight out of The Dragon Prince and the promise of a wide variety of magic combat skills to make your character your own, the game seemed awfully tempting, but my first few experiences were aimless and joyless, with no moment of clarity to make me understand why I should keep coming back. Maybe they’ll finesse the game some more in 2021, or a bunch of my friends will get hooked and lure me back, but for now I am a-okay deleting this waste of space on my Switch and PC.

"Oh Yeah, I Did Play That Didn't I?"

I remember being really excited for Murder By Numbers. Ace Attorney-style crime scene investigation visual novel with Picross puzzles for the evidence, art by the creators of Hatoful Boyfriend, and music by the composer of Ace Attorney itself?! Sounds like a dream come true. But the pixel-hunt nature of the crime scene investigations was more frustrating than fun, the picross puzzles were not particularly great, and the game came out literally a week before the entire world went into lockdown which makes it feel more like seven years ago than just earlier this year. I remember being marginally charmed by the game once it was in my hands, but as soon as my mind shifted to long-term self care, Murder By Numbers went from hot topic to cold case.

Most Unexpected Joy

I was looking forward to Fuser all year. As a dyed-in-the-wool DropMix stan, the prospect of a spiritual sequel to DropMix on all major digital platforms without any of the analogue components was tremendously exciting, and I knew I’d have a lot of fun making mixes by myself and posting them online for the world to hear. What I didn’t expect, however, was the online co-op mode to be such a blast! Up to four players take turns making 32 bars of mashups, starting with whatever the player before handed them and adding their own fingerprints on top. It sounds like it should just be a mess of cacophony, but every session I’ve played so far has been just the best dance party I’ve had all year, and everyone not currently in control of the decks (including an audience of spectators) can make special requests for what the DJ should spin and tap along with the beat to great super-sized emoji to show how much they’re enjoying the mix. Literally the only times my Apple Watch has ever warned me of my heightened heart rate have been the times I was positively bouncing in place rocking out to co-op freestyle play in Fuser.

Best Music

Only one video game this year had tunes that were so bumpable they were upgraded to my general “2020 jams” playlist alongside Jeff Rosenstock, Run the Jewels, and Phoebe Bridgers, and that game was Paradise Killer. 70% lo-fi chill beats to study/interrogate demons to, 20% gothic atmospheric bangers, 10% high-energy pop jazz, this soundtrack was just an absolute joy to swim around in both in and out of gameplay.

Favorite Game Encounter

It’s wild that in a landscape where games let me live out my wildest fantasies, the single moment that lit me up in a way that stood out to me more than any other was serving Neil the right drink in Coffee Talk. Over the course of the game, you serve a variety of hot drinks to humans, werewolves, vampires, orcs, and more, all while chatting with your customers and learning more about their lives and relationships. The most mysterious customer, though, is an alien life form who adopts the name Neil. They do not know what they want to drink and claim it doesn’t make a difference because they cannot taste it. Everybody else wants *something*. Neil is just ordering for the sake of fitting in and exploring the Earth experience. It’s only in the second playthrough that attentive baristas will figure out what to serve Neil, unlocking the “true” ending in the process. Seeing the typically stoic Neil actually emote when they tasted their special order drink? What an absolute treat that was.

Best Free DLC of the Year

It’s still only a couple of days old at the time I’m writing this, but Marvel’s Avengers just added Kate Bishop, aka Hawkeye, and THANK GOODNESS. Almost every character in the game at launch just smashed the endless waves of robot baddies with their fists and that looks exhausting and uncomfortable. Hawkeye (the game calls her Kate Bishop, but come on, she’s been Hawkeye in the comics for over 14 years, let’s show her some respect) uses A SWORD. FINALLY! Aside from that, I’m just having a blast shooting arrows all over the place. She and Ms Marvel are the most likable characters in the game so far, so I hope they keep adding more of the Young Avengers and Champions to the game, and if the recently announced slate of Marvel movies and tv shows are any indication (with America Chavez, Cassie Lang, and Riri Williams all coming soon to the MCU), that seems to be what Marvel is pushing for across all media

Most Accessible Game

Nintendo is, first and foremost, a toy company. They got their start in toys and cards long before video games was a thing, and they still do more tests to ensure their video game hardware is childproof than anybody else in the industry (remember how they made Switch cartridges “taste bad” so kids wouldn’t eat them?). This year, Nintendo got to rekindle some of their throwback, simplistic, toys-and-cards energy with Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics, a Switch collection of timeless family-friendly games like Chess, Mancala, and Backgammon, along with “toy” versions of sports like baseball, boxing, and tennis for a virtual parlor room of pleasant time-wasters. The games were all presented with charming li’l explainers from anthropomorphic board game figurines, and the ability to play quick sessions of Spider Solitaire on the touch screen while I binged The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix made Clubhouse Games one of my most-played titles of the year. Plus, local play during socially-distant friend hangs was an excellent way to make us feel like we were much closer than we were physically allowed to be as friends knocked each other’s block off in the “toy boxing” version of Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

"Waiting for Game-dot"

I get that everyone loves Disco Elysium. I saw it on everyone’s year-end lists last year. I finally bought it with an Epic Games Store coupon this year. This year was a long enough slog of depressing post-apocalyptic drudgery, I didn’t want to explore a whole nother one in my leisure time. I’ll get to it… someday.

Game That Made Me Think

Holovista was an iPhone game I played over the course of two or three days based on the recommendation of some trusted colleagues on Twitter and oh my goodness was I glad that I played it. What starts as a chill vaporwave photography game steadily progresses into an exploration of psychological trauma, relationships with friends and family, and the baggage we carry with us from our pasts. In this exceptionally hard year, I badly needed this story about spending time alone with your personal demons and finding your way back to the people who love and support you. Just like with Journey and Gone Home, I walked away from Holovista feeling a rekindled appreciation for the people in my life.

(A snippet from the, now, very large prologue)

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Ulma lay down, sighing dreamily as Demiurge swooped down into a claw attack, leaving hellfire whenever his tail struck the ground.

Next to her Zaltana was laying down, money well spent on more emotes as far as she was concerned as she pretended to play with the tufts of pink hair.

Demiurge dodged an attack by evil lord Greed once more, moving so fast it was almost like he'd teleported behind him and striking him down to the ground.

'God, he's so hot~' she purred.

'Eww. Can you not.' Ulbert groused as he checked his inventory, he was decked out in his highest armor ready for a raid and the pair were just waiting on Touch-Me and Buku to show up.

'Not my fault you made him so handsome.' She said with a dramatic swooning sigh as he landed gracefully back down.

'Urgh, whatever, you weirdo.' Ulbert huffed. He looked up at Demiurge who had come to stand at attention, awaiting his next orders and felt a wicked grin on his muzzle.

The devil raised a hand, opening a command screen and finding the right option before throwing his head back.

'Does thou really believe a devil can be anything but a monster wearing a beautiful facade?! Let us see if your affections falter when you see him returned to his roots!' He let out a roaring laugh as he pressed the command and Demiurge immediately hunched over, his transformation was only a short moment but he heard the loud gasp from his princess.

The demon, now in his imp form stood back up, unblinking red eyes fixed to his master as he waited.

Was he ugly to her? He was well aware that his visage in his imp form was hideous to lower lifeforms that could not comprehend the beauty in power.

But he had always thought the supreme beings held different standards. Had he failed hers? The thought made his chest tighten but to refuse his own beauty would be to refuse lord Ulbert's own preference and choices.

He refused to look behind him, waiting for her verdict when her syrupy sweet voice filled the air, going from a light giggle to a haughty laughter.

'Oh dearest brother, your attempt at disgusting me have only enamored me further with your creation~' she laughed, voice full of mirth as she circled around Demiurge.

His red eyes looking down and seeing a salacious look on her face as she drank him in. Oh those eyes, how they hid such wicked intentions behind their angelic innocence.

'What?-' Ulbert started but Ulma brought a fan from her inventory, snapping it to point at Ulbert before fluttering it out.

'To show me such a great example of demonic power. My brother, you have only furthered my opinion that Demiurge is a fine candidate for my future lover!' She declared and Demiurge felt his mouth dry.

Was she serious? She would make him her lover?! Such a title for a mere floor guardian was too much. 

Did she truly want him? 

'No way. You're not perving up my NPC, you monster fucker.' Ulbert huffed, crossing his arms as Ulma snapped her hands to her hips, fan forgotten in her grip.

'Idiot, you're ruining the scene!' She scoffed but soon they both started laughing as they went to leave the floor to go on their outing.

Demiurge swallowed dryly as Ulma waved for Zaltana to follow, the devil-folk looking behind her shoulder at him with a look of astonishment and Demiurge couldn't help but mirror it.

When they left his hand went up to his lips, where she had graced him with the sweetest of kisses. 

She had told him that he brought her comfort, that she enjoyed his companionship. The flame in his heart was growing, catching and spreading throughout his body till a single thought appeared in his mind.

'How could he ensure his place as her lover?' He held his chin, pondering the question. He would have to become stronger, he hadn't maxxed out many of his levels yet and that was his folly.

To gain lord Ulbert's approval (who had so clearly shown disdain for the idea) would take time and patience.

He chuckled under his breath, deciding to fly for the rest of his patrol. 

He was a man of great patience.

Chrono Trigger Part 1 - A Colourful World of Different Ages

As someone who has played Chrono Cross but not Chrono Trigger, I’m curious to see why it’s so beloved haha, right now it just makes me think of Dragon Ball all the time (because of the character designs). But, I’m really liking the soundtrack and atmosphere though, it really has that nostalgic homey feel that I love about JRPGs in the past. Lmao at the maid in the Mayor’s house, she tells you that you can help yourself to all the treasure chests in this house as if it’s a treasure trove and there’s only two chests!! Lady, don’t get my hopes up! Umm, I went to the fair where Lucca is showcasing her new invention or something and I think I just ate the old man’s lunch!! LOL, I’m sorry old man. I might have to restart just because I feel bad eating it. Is Marle a princess btw? Anyway, lmao at the Biggs and Wedge in the horror house lolll. Ohhh I guess this is how the two games are similar? They both have a pendant that causes them to kinda be transported somewhere else? It’s really cool of Crono to chase after Marle when she disappeared though! I mean, who knows where she went! At least it’s not the fault of Lucca’s invention lol, since it worked properly when Crono was on it without the necklace haha. I assume that this is the past when there was a war going on and this Queen Leene that the people are saying have been found is probably Marle? Oh wait, 600 AD? It’s 400 years ago! HAHAHA omg the little green/blue Piccolo monster can ride on the ball monster hahahaha how cute. Anyway, as expected, we’re going to have to find the real queen, since if she dies, Marle/Princess Nadia isn’t going to exist~ Dunno why Marle keeps disappearing though! On another note, Lucca sure came here fast and found Crono in no time lol!

Damn, monster nuns?! Awww! A frog guy to the rescue!! HAHAHA Frog has a skill called slurp that licks a party member and heals their HP hahahaha. I guess the reason why Marle “disappeared” and came back was because Queen Leene’s life was in danger, so Marle’s existence was questioned. Lmao at everyone in the castle now saying that yeah Marle couldn’t have been Leene after all since she ate so much and had no manners🤣🤣 I feel sorry for Frog but I can understand why he blames himself, he was the Queen’s knight and yet she got captured by Yakra… At least he saved her! Lucca is pretty amazing to be able to make a gate key to keep the gate there for them to go back to their time. She’s not dodgy at her inventions at all! Well, I didn’t expect it to go well but I didn’t think bringing Marle back to the castle would make her father etc think Crono was a kidnapper. Well, it’s just the dodgy Chancellor mainly but still. Lmao at the trial, like I’m sorry I picked up Marle’s pendant before caring about her lmao, she was already standing dude! Yes, I’m such a terrible person LOL. Anyway, apparently helping the girl find her cat was enough to make Crono a good enough guy lol. I guess not eating grandpa’s lunch really helped my case too HAHAHA. Not that it matters since the Chancellor still wants to execute Crono! I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to let Crono keep his weapons whilst in jail though lmao. LMAO at the piece of paper detailing the weaknesses of the tank boss, “as long as no crazy lunatic starts hacking at it with a sword, it should be invincible” hahahaha. I love how Lucca always comes to save the day though, she’s so cool haha. Hahahah I love how the dragon tank explodes on the bridge and the Chancellor and mechanics are then used as the broken part of the bridge for you to cross (since they’re all holding on to their dear lives) hahaha. It was pretty reckless of them to all run and jump into a Gate though, like who knows where it goes?!

It’s kinda saddening that these people (in 1999 AD/destroyed future?) seem to be at the mercy of their own technology that they developed, especially when Doan said they were atop food storage but they can’t access it because the robots are protecting it. Imagine starving on top of a pile of food… Ohh wow, so 1999 AD the day of Lavos is when Lavos appeared from underground around the world and destroyed it all? I was so nervous about losing to Johnny in the race across the ruins but lmaoo it doesn’t even matter! It’s not that far! And I have to go back into the ruins to get a chest anyway loll. Omgg Robo is such a cutie! It was so saddening when his “friends” called him a defect (since Lucca fixed him and he’s not a normal robot following the functions of killing intruders) and thrashed him! Even I had trouble dealing with them though, way too many robots lol. Anyway, we really gotta appreciate how amazing Lucca is to be able to fix future machinery like dang. Now we have a new friend too! 

Omg the End of Time? It looks pretty much like the Bend of Time in Chrono Cross, it’s kinda cool how funky these things are haha. Wow, for a second, I was wondering whether 1000 AD was actually their home world and time hahaha, it was so different, I was confused! But it seems that in the underworld or whatever that’s where the fiends are living, and they hate the humans and wished that the Magus who created the Lavos killed all the humans 400 years ago? Hmm I wonder why they didn’t kill them all back then and instead decided to kill the humans around 1999 AD? I wonder if talking to Magus or stopping him from creating the Lavos will solve things… Wow, I can’t believe the war here seems to be speeding up really fast! I wonder who is the hero? On the other hand, I never realised the Commander and chef in the castle were brothers! It’s kinda cute how they’re both rough around the edges being stubborn about how their respective teams are more exhausted etc but in the end, they understand how difficult a time it is and will always help each other out. Didn’t think the king himself nearly fought to his death though, how reckless! Lmao at spiced jerky being the rations that the soldiers needed hahahaha.

Lmao at the Freelancer monster (that looks like a bird), it legit throws rocks at you hahahaha. LMAO at the sheep looking guy that says mountains are so nice, I legit kept talking to him because I felt that there must be a reason for him to be here and lolll if you annoy him enough times he gives you a magic capsule hahahah! I nearly died when he said “you’re not gonna leave me alone huh” LOL. Well, I didn’t expect to find Masamune on a random mountain! They’re so cute separated as two little kids though, yet so ugly in their combined monster form lmaoo. Well, it was to be expected that the real hero was actually Frog, but to think he has the hilt for Masamune! I feel like he feels he’s undeserving to be the hero not just because he wasn’t able to protect the Queen properly though hmmm. Dang, Ayla gets a cool introduction! Didn’t expect her to come from 65,000,000 BC though when I first saw her in the opening. Honestly though, it felt as if Crono fell in love with her at first sight haha! Anyway, it’s kinda cool to come all the way here for the Dreamstone (to fix the Masamune), it kinda reminds me of Chrono Cross when they had to go to Another World for hydra stuff since it was extinct in their own world. Glenn huh? Anyway, didn’t expect Magus to be a good looking guy! Well, he’s a bunch of pixels but I think he’s good looking! Lol!

I can see why Frog was so adamant on not going along with Crono and them before. He was Glenn, the guy who went along with Cyrus (the Captain of the castle who everyone admired, and even the King and Queen relied on him very much and still speak about him) to defeat Magus, but in the end, Cyrus sacrificed his life to protect Glenn so he could survive and retreat, yet in the end, Magus just turned him into a frog because of the “coward” he was. Not only that, but Cyrus’ last words asked of Frog to protect the queen and them, and yet the queen was kidnapped in the beginning of the story. So you can really see why he would feel so unworthy of being the hero that will save this land. But now that the weapon Cyrus wielded has been fixed (Masamune) and there are new companions enlisting for his help, I think it’s about time Frog stopped blaming himself! It’s time to show Magus that he’s not a coward! It was pretty cool to see Frog slash a mountain in half, like dang, I guess Cyrus was right to say Frog was stronger than him, he just never had the confidence since he was always stunted by his fear. Well, Ozzie is pretty annoying with his traps lmao, kinda childish at the same time though hahaha! I guess it was expected that Magus only summoned Lavos and didn’t create them since they’re beings that have stayed under the planet(?) consuming power etc to become as strong as they are to end up destroying the world in the future.

Crono and them riding the Dactyl to the reptite castle was cool haha! I feel sad for Kino that he doesn’t get to fight alongside them though, especially since he’s aware that he’s not as strong as Crono and Ayla. Lmaooo at Nizbel complaining about Crono and them walking past him even though he was flexing his muscles and showing them that they needed to defeat him before they can get to Azala hahahah. Hmm, Lavos creates these time gates? 12,000 BC time!

For now, I’m really enjoying Chrono Trigger more than I thought I would! I’ve always averted from time travel stories because I never really found them too interesting, but I really love how the idea is implemented in this, like, it’s literally fun! Not only do you get to see how different the different eras are, but I think the monsters, the people and everything is just so detailed and interesting. Like, it’s hard to forget the NPCs and stuff because they all have such personality, like whether it be the chef and the commander in the castle, the monsters playing ball with each other, and just everyone you encounter along the journey really shows how colourful the world is and how interesting it is to explore it all. The graphics may not be the best considering how old it is, but I think they’re so cute. I kinda wish Crono actually talked or nodded and stuff a bit more, but I guess it’s okay since the rest of the characters talk haha. Honestly though, I think the charm of the game is definitely in the aspect of adventuring in time and how different everything is, yet also how enjoyable it is. And you kinda get a side dose of we need to save the world from Lavos, so it has the typical JRPG feel to it as well haha. Combat is also pretty interesting! Not too hard as well so that’s great, but I really love the dual techs where two characters cooperate to do one skill, I just love watching all the different combinations!

[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 5

Flowers and a curtain at sunset, I think we’re back at Kamijo’s room. Or rather the hospital in general. Hey, we’re getting a flashback to Sayaka making the contract! I was hoping we’d get to see this, is there some sort of ritual or…? Hmph. Music’s a bit menacing, but this is a big step. I still think that Sayaka’s making the right choice and that it’s better to have the power, but I don’t think you can just change your mind later on. “Don’t worry, your wish is absolutely grantable.” And there we go, she ‘just’ wished for Kamijo to be healed. As you guys have said, we are being a bit unfair on Sayaka for not optimizing the Wish. She’s a middle-school girl, caught up in a life-or-death scenario, and her friend is in a bad way. And now that I think about it, if she had done like I’m saying and worked out a more expansive Wish, then she may not have gotten to Madoka in time. Urgh, just a bad situation all around. Alright, on with the ritual! Which is just Kyubey holding out his ears? Wait, now he’s reaching towards Sayaka and apparently into Sayaka, out comes a blue light and Sayaka falls backwards (understandable, the show mascot’s unlocking your Hidden Potential), the light returns to her and forms into what looks to be a Soul Gem like Mami’s, only matching Sayaka’s hair. And now she’s floating. Magical powers for the win! Once again the intro of lies. Mami… Ooh, I caught a shot of Food Girl Kyoko this time! Are there any other upcoming characters I’ve missed? Ep 5: There’s No Way I’ll Ever Regret It

Hitomi yawning! Rough night, huh? Still polite enough to apologize for the social faux pas, and I am so happy to see the NPC back to normal. Madoka and Sayaka act all innocent, asking about what happened, and Hitomi talks about some sort of mass sleepwalk. Huh, so non-potentials or MGs really don’t see or remember witches, then. The doctors said they all had a mass hallucination, then went right back to trying to figure out Kamijo inexplicable healing. You’ve got to feel sorry for the cops, scientists and doctors in these sort of shows, you know they’re in the background tearing out their hair in frustration over the mysterious cases. Well, Hitomi’s back to being her refined, overachieving self. And Homura’s back to sulking in the corner over her wrecked plans. Good. I want you to redeem yourself, Homura, but I didn’t want Zuko to catch Aang, either. You don’t get the territory and power, deal with it. Madoka looks sad? Later by a wind farm (go renewable energy!), Sayaka’s stretching and making content sounds, showing off the new ring on her finger while she does so. Seems becoming a Magical Girl comes with some nice energy boosts, probably better than coffee or the like. Madoka asks if Sayaka’s scared about making the contract, she brushes it off and points out how she took out the witch last episode. And when the alternative was losing both Hitomi and Madoka… well, she thinks that that’s a lot scarier. *slow clap* Ok, that’s a hero statement if I’ve ever heard one. Granted, I don’t think she knew about the two being in danger before she made the contract, meaning the real reason was still to heal Kamijo, but now that she’s got the power? Shot of Sayaka’s Soul Gem! And yeah, it’s like Mami’s but blue. She’s really getting into it, spouting off the one-liners and declaring that she, Magical Girl Sayaka, will protect Mitakihara City. … I want to believe in this confidence, I really do want to think that things will turn out alright. But we’ve got Homura and this Kyoko chick annoyed at the newcomer, and we’re not even halfway through the series. OH GOD DAMN IT. Sayaka mentions that she has one regret, in that she hesitated for so long, and we got a flash of Mami’s head (I see what you did there, show. *shakes fist*). And the broken teacup. Great, beyond this current bluster she’s clearly feeling guilt about not doing it sooner, since she “ended up doing it anyway.” That’s… argh. I want to completely argue with that, say that they could have died against the Clown Worm as well if they got involved, but seeing Sayaka fight the last witch… Looks like we’ve got a Spiderman situation here. Dude’s a fun character, but you’ve got to remember that his origin as a hero was after he failed to save Uncle Ben, his entire foundation is based on his perceived failure. Not going to get into Peter’s story, but I can draw the parallels to Sayaka here. “If I had become a hero sooner, this death would not have happened.” There’s no way to know that for sure, but conversely there’s no way to not know that for sure. Argh. And now the guilt's getting to Madoka, she’s thinking about the bridge scene (my poor ship…). And then Sayaka pokes her? Oh wow, this is rather understanding of her, Sayaka’s saying “it’s easy for me to say” because she’s gone and done it now. And yeah, given her combative personality I think she’s a good fit to fighting witches as a magical girl. But we’re back into iffy territory regarding her Wish being for something she wouldn’t mind risking her life for. She definitely has feeling for Kamijo, but I don’t know if it’s reciprocated. This could get ugly. Ok, aside from the ticking timebomb of her feelings to Kamijo, which I just know is going to be a plot point later on, she’s doing a good job reassuring Madoka, before heading off. Gee, I wonder where she’s going. Back at Kamijo’s room, he hasn’t been discharged yet because the doctors are busy freaking out over his mutant healing factor. Or rather, he still has to finish his leg… rehabilitation… Argh. Argh. ARGH. I’m sorry, Sayaka, but my optimization side is screaming right now. You’ve got a Wish that we have been shown was strong enough to heal all of Mami’s fatal injuries. But you were so focused on Kamijo’s hand that you apparently just wished for that to be healed? That is… you managed to both underutilize and overspecify a Wish! You could have said “I wish that the doctors would find a way to heal Kamijo’s hand”, or “I wish that Kamijo would be fully healed”. But no, you said “I wish that Kamijo’s hand was healed.” You knew his legs were still messed up, but… argh. Sayaka, I love you and all, but I’m going to hold this against you. Sorry. Ok, back to the hospital room, Kamijo’s being kept to finish up his legs and because they don’t know what fixed the hand. Which means all of the tests! For now, the working answer is “We dunno, it was a miracle.” Aw, Kamijo’s apologizing for his words last episode, Sayaka brushes it off, insists that he should be happy. Huh. I’m using the words “Sayaka brushes it off” a lot, aren’t I? That may not be the best of signs. Suddenly she notices the time and suggests that she and Kyosuke “go out for some air”. What are you planning? And why the roof? Hey, it’s the garden from the episode start! Wait. Wait no. Sayaka, do not do what I think you’re going to do. I know you like this boy, but telling him about Magical Girls? Transforming to prove it? That’s just asking for trouble! Wait, people? People clapping, mostly in medical scrubs? Oh, it’s some sort of “Congrats on mysteriously getting better” party. Then a man comes forward with something Oh! It’s his violin! And that’s his dad? Kamijo’s silhouette is just looking at the instrument now. Well. Ok, I get what the episode is going for, but from the perspective of a trumpet player? If I was laid up in the hospital and went an unspecified time without practicing my instrument, the last thing I would want to is for my first post-hospital notes to be in front of an audience. At least let the boy practice first! But then again, I’m a mediocre player at best, and Kamijo’s supposed to be a skilled player. Violin under chin, bow on strings, and he starts playing. ... I’m not going to sully the music by commenting on it. I’ll just note the title drop and move on. Wait, another building? Oh hey, it’s the Kyoko girl! And… Pffft! Ok, that is hands-down the best use of magic that I’ve seen yet in this show. Why spend money on one of those mundane tower telescope setups when you can just summon your own? Apparently she was spying on the rooftop performance to see the new magical girl. While eating, like last time. Hey, Kyubey’s there! So wait, we just saw him help Sayaka to become a Magical Girl, but before that he apparently summoned an outside girl to take the territory. And then he made the contract, we saw him tell the girl the territory was claimed again, and now he’s… just hanging around? Yeah, he’s hanging around this outsider who’s calmly talking about how Sayaka will be an easy hit (grrr). What’s going on, Kyubey? I thought you liked our characters. Sure, you seemed to walk off when they said they wouldn’t become MGs earlier, but now Sayaka is one. Why are you hanging around someone who want’s to stop that? Kyoko’s all confident about her chances, Kyubey warns her that there is another girl. Wait, what? “I’m not really sure myself.” How can you not know, Kyubey? Kyoko is as confused as I am. So what I’m getting from Kyubey dancing around the issue and calling her an “irregularity” is that he doesn’t know how Homura made a contract. Which raises some very interesting questions. I had assumed that Kyubey was the only contract-granter in the show, that Homura had contracted with him and then tried to kill him before he got any more recruits. If not Kyubey, then who? I remember I speculated about an anti-Kyubey who was making Witches, maybe she contracted with them and promised to take out the Rabbit-Thing. In any case, Kyoko welcomes the challenge. Kyubey doesn’t say anything, but for never stopping that smile of his I can just get a sense of “Oh, this won’t end well.” Back at the dining area of Fancy Mall, Homura is- oh, Madoka is meeting with Homura! Trying to Friendship her into not attacking Sayaka the new Magical Girl? Yup, Madoka stammering through trying to list her good aspects like being brave and helpful… which Homura immediately slams as being fatal flaws in her line of work. Light chanting music comes up again as Homura delves into a gloomy version of the Jedi’s “Fear leads to Anger” speech. “Kindness grows to naivete, and courage leads to being caught off guard. She also argues that being a magical girl is a thankless job. (So you’re basically saying that Madoka would be the shortest-lived magical girl ever, then.) “That is why Mami Tomoe lost her life.” Oh, low blow! I mean, true, but low blow. And off comes the top of her cup when she mentions Mami. I see what you did there, animators. Ooh, Madoka actually has some buttons apparently, she yells at Homura for casually dismissing Mami. But then she calms down and talks about how she’s worried about Sayaka being on her own. She can’t do anything herself, so...she’s asking Homura to become friends with Sayaka. Or at least not fight with her like she did with Mami. Homura’s thoughts: “Damn it, first the girl goes and becomes a MG despite my warnings, and now this civilian is trying to get me to work with the competition? Yeah, I’m not sharing.” Madoka raises a good point about if everyone goes together to fight witches it’ll be safer for everyone. Problem is, that doesn’t jive with Homura’s goals. Unless the girls working together could defeat enough witches to make up for the ‘one Grief Seed per witch’ limitation, then there’s no way she’ll go for it. Yep, dismissive Homura Hair Flip means that argument doesn’t work with her. But at least she’s honest, not making promises she can’t keep. For all my faults with her, I have to admit that Homura has some positive aspects. Unfortunately one of those is not tactfulness. “I’m telling you to give up on Sayaka Miki now.” Aw, look what you did, you made Madoka cry. (Feel bad. Feel bad.) This is an interesting trait of Homura’s. Initially I thought it was just about preventing competition for power, but she really does seem to regret not ‘protecting’ Sayaka from the life of a magical girl. I still firmly believe based on last episode that it’s better to have the defensive capabilities than not, but if Homura’s been doing this Lone Witch Hunter thing for a while then I can understand the bleak outlook. She really doesn’t think of herself as a villian, does she? And I’m not really sure I can call her one. Maybe antagonist, especially when she eventually summons Big Flying Thing. Yeah, she has no hopes for Sayaka to last long. “Just as the dead don’t return to life, consider her fate sealed.” That wait. wait wait wait wait. WAIT. Holy crap, I just figured it out. “Dead don’t return to life.” Normally, yes. But lo and behold, we have a Wish (once our Protagonist finally makes a contract)! It’s bigger than any Wish we’ve seen so far (heal fatal injuries, heal crippled hand), but we are so-far lacking in any rules against it! Calling it now: Come the finale, when the Big Flying Thing is messing stuff up, Madoka will use her Wish to bring Mami back. YES. But… we’re only on episode 5 of twelve? Argh, it’s going to be forever until we get Little Miss Rifle Company back. Ok, back to the episode! Homura continues to harp about how MGs give up everything for a single Wish. Madoka asks if she’s really given up on herself and other girls from all this. Homura just replies “Yes.” She’ll continue the fight (for power). She apologizes for wasting Madoka’s time, and leaves. Sayaka is standing in front of some mirrors, psyching herself up for her first night of Witch Hunting. Leaving the building with Kyubey perched on her shoulder, Madoka is waiting outside the door, Sayaka brags about how she’s going on her first patrol. Ally of Justice, away! Madoka’s worried if she’ll be alright on her own, Sayaka brushes it off (should I start counting all the times she does this?) by saying that Mami went on her own all the time!... maybe not the best example there, Sayaka. Madoka says she can’t really help, but if her tagging along wouldn’t be too much of a bother… Sayaka’s frowning? Then smiling? (The sudden cuts between faces can get a little disorienting at times, show.) She teases Madoka for trying too hard, then thanks her for asking. Oh wow, Sayaka’s doing her “putting up a brave face and suppressing emotions” thing again, isn’t she? She did it when walking to school after Mami’s death, and now she’s been putting up a brave front before embarking on the dangerous task of hunting Witches. Never discount the morale boost of someone supporting you! Have to admit, I wasn’t expecting the show to make the Best Friend the main fighter and the Protagonist the sidekick. Kyubey warns about taking a non-MG on a patrol, but Sayaka counters that if she actually did go off on her own, she’d probably be reckless and get killed. Ah, so Madoka gets to be the common sense of the duo! That works. But Kyubey telepaths to Madoka that she’s thought up her own plan? Oh. OH. Of course, if things get dicey then Madoka’s there to make her contract (and get Mami back)! Right, I keep forgetting that, and given how fast the ritual at the start of this episode went they could probably pull it off fast enough. Sure, Sayaka would probably be against it, and I can guarantee that Homura would not be happy. Ooh, and Kyoko would probably be ticked, too. Kyoko: “Ok, what gives Kyubey? You called me about some prime territory being up for grabs. I arrive, and there are three girls in the area!” But until the time comes that Madoka decides on a Wish (bring Mami back), then he’ll be waiting. Following the glowing Soul Gem, the girls reach a dark alleyway. Which suddenly is filled up with crayon and stars. Kyubey says that this is likely a familiar, not a Witch. At least this should be an easier fight for her first patrol. The familiar appears to be a crayon-drawn girl in a little plane on the wall, Sayaka springs into action and transforms into her MG outfit. Lots of music symbols and bubbles in her sequence, looks very nice. She proceeds to prove that, for magical girls at least, Throwing Your Sword Always Works, and the familiar is running away. Wait, what just blocked her swords? It didn’t look like it was part of the labyrinth. What the heck are you doing, Kyoko? You do realize you just let a familiar get away? Whoa, extendo-spear. Well, yeah, Kyoko. We do realize that was a familiar and it wouldn’t drop a Grief Seed. But if it’s left alone then it Whoa what. WHOA WHAT. “You should wait for it to eat 4 or 5 people and become a real witch.” Did-did you just say to wait for a familiar to kill people, just to be guaranteed a Grief Seed when you kill it? You actually are saying a familiar is a goose before it lays its golden eggs? ...holy crap. Kyoko is Homura without the cares about the innocents. We officially have a character who thinks of all this as a “food chain”. “Witches eat weak humans. And in turn, we eat those witches.” ...well done, show. First you make me hate Homura, then you show me that she has hidden depths and doesn’t want to hurt innocents (although she still wants power and will go to bad lengths to get it), and then you introduce a new character who is Homura without any redeeming aspects. Homura? I apologize, and while I am not quite ready to take you off the List, I will at least give you a chair to sit down in while you wait. Fire Lord Ozai, you can stop standing in the corner and take a seat as well, I think I just found someone to take your spot. Oh crap, she’s been walking towards Sayaka this whole time while I’ve been freaking out, suddenly a red diamond barrier popped up between the two MGs and Madoka. Wow, you are like the complete opposite of Sayaka, utterly dissing the ideas of justice. (Yes, I do realize that Sayaka isn’t completely pure of motive and all, but compared to this new girl she is a shining beacon of Good). Fight! Or just casual block of her sword. Yeah, Sayaka’s leaning into it and pushing with both arms (even her art style is flickering), but Kyoko’s just standing there, eating. Yup, gentle push back and Sayaka goes sprawling. I’m thinking that you might be a little outclassed here, Sayaka. Kyoko attacks (with the shaft of her spear breaking up into segments of chains, that is an awesome weapon), and Sayaka goes flying back and smacks some pipes. Well that was a quick fight, Kyoko’s leaving now. Then acts surprised when Sayaka gets up after a blow that “should’ve put you out of commission for at least 3 months.” Oh, that’s cool! So based on the wish of a contract, the MG gets powers from that? And since Sayaka wished for healing, she heals at an accelerated rate? Kyoko is pissed off, now. REALLY pissed off. Fast-paced Magical Girl Battle, go! But Sayaka is on the defensive, barely hold off Kyoko’s swipes. Aaand she’s in the wall again. “You don’t get it when I try to explain. You don’t get it when I beat it into you. Guess there’s not choice but to kill an idiot like you!” Ooh, Sayaka’s really getting into it now, meeting Kyoko’s spear with her sword and having an energy collision between them. But Kyoko’s picking it up too, smashing up the ground. Madoka’s left behind the barrier asking why they have to fight when they should be allies. Kyubey can’t stop them now. But… if only another magical girl could get between them now… Better make up your mind quick Madoka, Sayaka’s on the ground and Kyoko’s in shadow with a red glare where her eyes should be. “It’s over!” Madoka is going to- “There’s no need for that.” Homura has entered the fray. Hoo boy. Now we- *End episode* Oh come on! End credits, creepy silhouettes… End illustration of Madoka in her outfit, surrounded by chibi-versions of Homura, Sayaka, and Mami. Madoka’s talking about how this girl in red is a MG, like her. So why do they have to fight? Next time: Episode 6: This Just Can’t Be Right ...really, Madoka? You’re asking why she has to fight the MG who wants to wait and let innocents die so she can increase her own power?! No, it’s not right that there is someone with this power who acts such a way. It is right that those who can stop her. Can’t wait to see what happens next. How will Homura deal with a worse version of herself?

Adventures in D&D part 6

- Party just woke up for the day and is headed out to the temple of Gond because they helped get a special material component for a new kind of weapon, and they want to witness the testing

- Right when they get there a dude in a cloak on horseback t-bones the paladin and party cleric says “HE’S GOT BLUEPRINTS”

- Paladin goes tearing off after him because paladin is a paladin of Gond and boy is she pissed off

- I go “can I cast Hold Person” because range is a thing and I genuinely don’t know how far away dude is yet

- DM says “...yes” after grumbling that he hasn’t statted anything out for the NPC

- Turns out this was supposed to be largely cinematic and my crowd-controlling ass just totally screwed that over but in my defense I asked and the DM said yes so really him bothering to roll a wisdom stat for the NPC and getting a 3 is his fault not mine

- Naturally the NPC fails the save and falls off the horse the instant it changes direction

- Commence the befuckening once party caught up with him, initiatives are rolled

- DM laughs triumphantly and says “He nat 20′d! He’s up!”

- Two more party members have their turns

- Mine’s up

- “I cast hold person again”

- “...you asshole”

- Fight ends very shortly after that because the party isn’t willing to totally murder the dude while he’s paralyzed

- They start interrogating him on the street

- He breaks the hold person again but whoop-de-doo he’s surrounded and on the ground

- Eventually starts messing about with a poison tooth

- Other party members go to stop him

- I go “Hey DM?”

- “...yes?”

- “I cast Hold Person again.”

- Long silence

- DM’s mic is open and we all hear thumping, I assume either his head or his hand beating his desk, and he eventually posts a screenshot of the NPC’s roll

- Even at advantage, he rolled a 1 both times

(I’m pretty sure this was the moment where I could officially call myself a Real Bard)

- “I fucking hate you”

- “YOU COULD’VE SAID NO AT ANY TIME”

- Anyway brosef is a prisoner of the Temple of Gond now and the DM is grumbling that as “punishment” we don’t get to see a really cool thing happen when the dude made his escape, to which I keep reminding him he allowed me to fuck up his plan and he can’t be mad at us for it

- Cleric casts zone of truth on the prisoner. It manages to affect two party members--Dumat included--and nobody else. Dumat knows this and sits down to hold his mouth shut and sulk

- Cleric then leaves the temple because he’s pretty sure the party’s going to torture the prisoner and he can’t participate or witness it but he doesn’t see an alternative

- By the way it’s important to mention that Dumat got ahold of Yeehaw’s Rootie Tootie Point n’ Shooty a while ago, which is a crossbow with a special ability that functionally allows him to shotgun a cone with it, but also is cursed and causes the user to grow a mullet, speak in a southern drawl, and not be able to put the crossbow down

- This was a funny gimmick for about 20 minutes before Sage Got Bored and started adding rules (after running them by the DM first)--like having to roll wisdom saves to not engage in “Hold My Beer” moments

- He has several saves to make before and during the interrogation of their prisoner

- He succeeds beautifully at all of them which is frustrating the shit out of me and the DM

- When he finally starts failing them, it’s a fuckin’ cascade of failures that result in things like shooting the restrained prisoner in the foot and then twisting the crossbow bolt around while saying shit like “Right about now I’d be tellin’ ya ta dance, but, well, that ain’t gonna work out so hot is it?” and responding to ‘I don’t fear death’ with “Well then we’ll just have to make sure y’don’t die now, won’t we?,” shooting at the Paladin--and later the cleric--when they say they should get that crossbow away from him, and shooting at the cleric because he’s being boring while reading from a holy book

- Eventually, during the torture parts, the cleric and paladin realize at about the same time that Dumat is not actually insane (the paladin remembered at the last minute that Zone of Truth was on Dumat and he wasn’t lying about the shit he was saying to this poor bastard, the cleric was just super upset by all the screaming) but is in fact possessed

- While the Paladin and Cleric are figuring out how to fix this, I go to the DM and say: “I demand that one of them be forced to a showdown in order to break the curse properly, in the "high noon" sense, Ready? DRAW! That”

- DM is On Fucking Board for this, party starts doing exorcism mumbo-jumbo, eventually Dumat’s bound body drops the crossbow and a smoky hand crawls out of it, eventually forming into the ghostly shape of a motherfucking cowboy followed by ethereal whistling of the intro notes for The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly theme

- I exclaim in voice chat OH MY GOD I HAVE ART FOR THIS and go digging through my old drawings, then produce:

- Voiced by me doing my best Frank Welker impression in a cowboy drawl, Original Character Do Not Steal (seriously though Buck is mine and I drew this in 2005, as the signature says)

- First time I open my mouth another party member goes “holy shit” and I feel warm inside

- The party actually tries to convince him to work for them and offers to let him take the body of the prisoner instead and offers him gold and stuff, to which he responds kinda like Izzy from The Mummy: 2, all “d’you think I can walk into a store and buy shit?”

- A conversation between the cleric (who insults his hat and has talking privileges revoked), paladin, and the demon who introduces himself as Buck eventually comes down to him proposing a duel for ownership of Dumat’s body, and the party rogue--who’s only been with the party for like two ingame days at this point--cheerfully agrees to be their shooter

- Back-to-back, ten paces, turn, fire (contested attack rolls)

- Duel ends like this:

"As Conny turns and fires, so does Buck. Time stands still--literally--as the twang of two crossbows fills the hall. For a moment, there's a faint ethereal sheen over Buck's crossbow, some kind of metallic cylinder. And the twang is not a twang, but a CRACK. Buck stands tall, longcoat whipping gently in a nonexistent breeze... as Conny feels a bolt enter her shoulder."

- Victorious, Buck turns to take Dumat and Shit Goes Down as the cleric steps in and casts spiritual guardians and good fucking christ this party is lucky they had two holy types who could do radiant damage because he takes a beating before he goes down

- Last thing he says before he dissipates into the ether is directed to the rogue (Conny), the paladin, and the wizard (the firebug): “See you in hell, little girls--wear somethin’ nasty”

- Crossbow drops to the ground and turns black like it’s been set on fire and allowed to cool, is promptly picked up by some acolytes with pole-hooks and put into a heavy box that the paladin is keeping close by

- I drink more fluids than you can possibly imagine for roughly an hour and a half and DMed a whole scenario because I thought it’d be cool

- I accidentally a Recurring Villain

- yay but what have i done

// The NPCs of Brian's Life //

Ugly – Brian's pet Barghest. The happiest little abomination you will ever meet. She is a sweet happy girl who just wants to run and chase things and drag them down to Hell. Normally she takes the form of a shadowy dog with a skull face and fiery red eyes. But as also been known to take the form of a bloody raven, a white cat with a torn ear, or just a cloud of dark fog. He loves her – and will pull a John Wick if she is harmed.

'Rodriguez' – Stupid lesser demon that reports to Brian in Vera's crime syndicate. He swears that this idiot getting assigned to him is Vera's way of revenge. If something goes wrong, Brian blames Rodriguez first and foremost. ... and he's usually right. Damien apparently thinks he's funny – meanwhile Brian will swear up and down that he hates him. He's loud, vulgar, clumsy, and a cocky asshole that can't back up half the shit he says. Brian usually makes him do all the bitch work he doesn't want to do. All that said Brian will still go out drinking with him after a job. Which usually results in Brian telling him to shut up and drink. And Rodriguez proceeds to not listen.

Deegan ‘Dee’ Hildebrandt – The competent one in Brian's underlings. He's a hedonistic werewolf that parties almost as hard as he works. Chain smokes near constantly and gets violent if he's lacking a nicotine fix. His greatest claim to fame is taking out an entire vampire gang when he was kidnapped and they defused to give him his cigs back. Otherwise this guy takes on an older brother attidue and is very chill and laid back. He tends to annoy Brian because he's a serial fence sitter and professional devils advocate.

Vicktor Kisaragi – A mortician and  underground 'doctor' that hails from a family of Russian and Japanese descent. The closest thing Brian has to a doctor and the only one Brian trusts aside from Damien and Vera that he trusts to patch him up in the event that he can't. And the ONLY one that he'll permit to do full on surgery on him. Because the man doesn't ask questions. The doctor is a lethargic, snarky man who seems to have one setting emotionally – disturbingly calm but vaguely cheerful. He likes his 'dates' (aka the bodies he does autopsies on) – he does research on paranatural creatures. He also has a very dangerous collection of cursed objects that he studies. His profession has cost him however. - He is currently possessed by an evil cat spirit that morphs and shifts parts of his body. Sometimes mid surgery he'll have to stop because his hands have turned into paws.    

'The Twins' - Kaori and Kaine Izumi – a pair of twin vampires that work under Vicktor. Or at the very least Brian assumes this is the case as the pair of young teens seem to always be around. They look no older than 17 – but have likely been alive much longer.  Kaori – normally going as 'Knave' is  the troublemaker of the duo and has telekinetic powers. She's the more outgoing one and the one that generally tends to pester Brian in the strangest of places. Her brother Kaine is quieter and more reserved. Brian trusts him far less due to his telepathic powers that tend to border on psychic. They are generally helping Vicktor with various tasks – mainly bringing the doctor corpses of slain monsters.  

'Kasha' – If Brian needs something electronic done, or needs info to fill the gaps in his or Vera's knowledge then Kasha is the one he calls. He doesn't know the identity of this person although he's seen them in person he THINKS once or twice. Kasha is a very adept hacker and information broker who hasn't led him astray yet... although Brian doesn't trust anyone on the best of days let alone someone he's never really met. Although they sometimes swap late night memes via text.

on fallout 76

so, because im a fool i pre ordered fallout 76. frankly, i was going to buy it on release anyway because im starved for anything fallout and new california was a complete bust. 

anyway, this means i have had access to the “B.E.T.A.”, which isn’t really a beta. it’s just server stress tests. i’ve done every pc round so far and i feel like i can say pretty conclusively that it’s just not very good.

sorry, this is going to be a long meandering post

i dont know if its something they can fix in the like, week before they launch the game, but the delay/latency/feel is so fucking whack it’s unbelievable. the multiplayer fallout new vegas mod feels like it has better netcode. in addition, it is dreadfully optimized. i play on a laptop, so maybe take my perspective with a grain of salt, but i’m not the only one who has pointed this out. i use an nvidia 970m, which runs fallout 4 at around 50/60 frames per second. fallout 76 tops out at around 10-30 on average. just wandering the world, the framerate is atrocious. performance is best in small interior cells and in wide open spaces with nothing in it. in more dense and enemy populated areas, the game stutters hard. more than once ive had the game freeze for several seconds during a firefight. its honestly inexcusably bad most of the time. with poor latency and framerate chugging, the gameplay experience is trying. it makes literally everything painful, including just inventory management and crafting. 

the gameplay itself isnt too awful in that its just fallout 4 again but without the pretense of minimal rpg elements. performance problems can make some engagements suck, but most common enemies aren’t too hard. however, the real nasty ones that are higher level than you can be nigh on impossible to take down solo, which sucks because my friends arent always available and dealing with online randos is always bad. but it’s also the only way to get like, good weapons. but anyway, the core gameplay loop is almost the same. i say almost because the ‘workshop’ storage is your only storage. and it has a 400lb limit. which takes into account anything you put in it. this should seem like an obvious issue; you basically cant afford to store things if you gather valuable resources. im currently stuck carrying this big fucking rocket launcher which is useless right now because i dont have any inventory space for missiles, which weigh a ton. also, ammo has weight now. and you can’t scrap ammo for ammo parts like gunpowder or lead. and you can’t sell ammo either. so instead you just have to like, dump hundreds of rounds just on the ground since you can’t store them in the workshop because you need space for steel and adhesive and that M2 Browning that you can’t use yet but want to hold onto because it looks bitchin. however, you can bulk scrap with plastic, which reduces weight by about half. however, therein lies another problem; plastic becomes a precious resource because you can’t make a bulk pile of wood without it for some reason. plastic is currently more precious than literal gold. still, you get stuck holding a bunch of valuable scrap in your inventory which you can’t put into your stash because it’s full and you can’t go out and find more plastic because then you’ll be over-encumbered and you cant afford to drop this circuit board and you can’t build any more things in your camp because the budget is painfully low and even when you DO get enough plastic to bulk things the bulked stuff goes into your inventory and wont necessarily fit back into the stash and i’m still carrying this fucking missile launcher please god let me put down this missile launcher please oh please god

the ui is a disaster. it’s like they turned 4′s console/gamepad control scheme and doubled down on it; on pc, random keys are bound to multiple things and then also bound to a separate key, and you can’t re-bind things individually. so that means middle mouse is both ‘open favorite item wheel’ and ‘enter third person’ and ‘enter build mode’ when there’s also V which is also ‘enter third person’. you cannot change this. there will always be one button for this. there is still no separate binding for bash and grenade throw, of course. if you press escape, it opens the map. if you press m, it opens the map. to open the pause menu with things like ‘options’ and ‘microtransaction store’ and ‘quit the game’, you have to open the map with either escape or M and then press Z. there is no direct button to take you to the pause menu, as far as i can tell. when you go up to a workbench, there are three options; E to craft, R to scrap, Space to repair and modify. from this menu, if you want to scrap an item, you must mouse over it, and then select it. however, DO NOT MOVE THE MOUSE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. even if the prompt is open and asking if you want to scrap, say, a pump action shotgun, if you mouse over and the highlight moves over to your only power armor chest piece, it will scrap the power armor chest piece. even though it was asking if you wanted to scrap the shotgun. its potentially one of the most hostile interfaces ive ever seen. the bindings for ‘scrap mode’ and ‘scrap item’ in different menus also change. if i’m in the repair menu, G scraps an item. if i’m in scrap mode, spacebar does. the only good thing ive seen so far is the favorite wheel and also you can set it so you can see through your pip boy background while browsing it. 

the world feels desolate and boring. the lack of human npc interaction has been replaced with finding some dead persons holotape. there are robots. there is at least one AI. but all the questgivers are pieces of paper, holotapes, or voices on a radio. sometimes it’s a robot. you don’t actually interact though. there’s no interaction beyond listening and being told what to do. while im bitching about how the world feels, lets talk about factions. bethesda has kind of casually hyped up factions as being some kind of meaningful, cool choice. they’re literally nothing. there is no indication to other players what faction you are in. you can join every faction and reach top rank in every faction. you cant see if anyone is a member of your faction unless theyre in your faction specific base. there is no inter-faction conflict, there are very few faction quests aside from random events, and once you’re done with the main faction quest, you’re basically done for good except for repeatable ones. i honestly expected factions to be a meaningful choice, which was probably my mistake. i was hoping it would force you to commit to your current faction once you joined it, or would prompt you to abandon another faction in order to join a new one. but there’s just nothing. i was expecting something like, i dunno, destinys faction thing. like joining new monarchy. and maybe butting heads with members of other factions, like i figured the Brotherhood faction would be my enemy if i joined the enclave. but it’s just nothing. the world is nothing, the quests are nothing, everything just feels pointless. 

this is also a personal gripe, but there are like no energy weapon alternatives to small guns aside from the errant laser pistol, but ammo is extremely rare. the only new energy weapon i’ve seen so far is the plasma gatling, which is a big gun. otherwise, it’s just the crappy pistol/rifle converting laser and plasma rifle. no plasma pistol, just a pistol conversion. no laser pistol, just a pistol conversion. i’ve always loved energy weapons and just like. not getting any variety while guns and melee weapons get tons of variety is grating. there are many new ballistic weapons that look neat. the 10mm smg is back, and i am admittedly fond of it. however, 10mm ammo is painfully rare. i spend basically all my lead making more ammo for it. i can kind of get by with my laser pistol and my shotgun always makes up however much ammo i lose because a lot of enemies use shotguns, but my 10mm just goes up in smoke and there’s none to be found elsewhere. there’s a shocking amount of .308 because almost every early/mid enemy uses a hunting rifle, but i guess it makes sense because the big MG-32 thing takes .308 so they want you to be able to use it when the time comes. still, i’d rather be using an energy weapon. i want like. a recharger pistol. or the plasma rifle with all the tubes. or a pulse gun. just like. anything other than the ugly aer9 pistol conversion. i think the folks down at bethesda just dont like energy weapons very much; theyre leaps and bounds less viable than small guns. 

the enemies look okay. instead of raiders, you have the Scorched. they’re Marked Men, but weaker and also a cult formed by radioactive bats. there are super mutants, because bethesda cant be bothered to go outside of the comfort zone of Things People Recognize and also they hate lore i guess. the wild animals are kind of fun. theres a big toad that looks cute, and frogs that have MASSIVE arms that they run on, which looks funny. theyre small though. things like the mothman and snallygaster look neat. the flatwoods monster is okay. the grafton bastard is big and kind of easy to cheese out. there is a monster named after a flawed and racist interpretation of indigenous beliefs. theres a big sloth, who i love. the mole men (called mole miners) are intimidating and ANNOYINGLY precise with shotguns. they’re later game enemies and very aggressive. they drop a neat looking unarmed weapon that ive been using, called a mole miner gauntlet. it’s like a power fist with big claws. there’s a big bee called a honeybeast. ive basically covered all of the new monsters, though. everything else is from fallout 4 and dlcs. this includes things like anglers, which had obviously evolved on far harbor along with the lure plant so it doesnt make sense for them to be there, and gulpers which are big salamanders so i guess that’s more okay. there are swarms of bees that are just he same repeated png of a bee, spinning around. oh yeah, there are a couple new insect types; ticks and fireflies. both use the animations of the radroach and bloatfly, respectively.

solo play can be kind of boring and difficult. most randos you meet will either ignore you or call you a slur and run away. ive only had one guy break into my house and i murdered him. however, even though he had a bounty on his head, he was still allowed to get ‘revenge’ on me which meant he could spawn right next to me and this time he had a power armor suit, so he killed me a couple times before logging out to avoid my wrath. coward. if you’re out there dude, i’ll kick your ass. also, quick note about the bounty system; its kinda rough around the edges. i tried to save someones garden by shooting a ghoul that was stomping their flowers in the back. however, my shot somehow curved around him at point blank and broke a blackberry bush. from then on, i had a 20 cap bounty on my head. i had to hide from people in my secret enclave bunker and get my friend to kill me so i could perceive other people on the map again and also not live in fear of every tom dick and larry with a power armor frame and a bad attitude. 

i feel like i should wrap up. fallout 76 is not very good, but if they can work out performance and latency it wouldnt be too bad for just dicking around with friends. in terms of being like, a fallout game, it’s worse than 4. i haven’t gotten into story spoilers, but its not great. and it feels remarkably desolate for a game thats advertised as being a cool time with your buds. maybe itll be better when there are more people playing. i dunno. its just not very good. i dont recommend it.

The new trailer is utterly amazing and I don’t even know where to begin to describe my impressions.

THIS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Positive things first:

The models look a lot more consistent and a lot less like plastic. You can actually recognize the characters and they’ve made quite some progess in 7 months. They don’t fluctuate in quality nearly as often, which is great.

I’m happy we got to see more of the Tangled world. I know they had problems with rendering Rapunzel’s hair but it felt like we’ve seen nothing of that so far and almost all of Olympus. And Rapunzel’s hair looks amazing so far! They really outdid themselves if that all works in the end.

The worlds are incredibly large from what we can see. They’re nowhere near their previous scope and even with fewer worlds, it seems like we can get a lot more content than ever before. Just the Olympus world is massive on its own. And everything is so open, I’m almost regretting that Flow Motion apparently won’t be as free anymore.

I still don’t see the necessity of them turning into monsters apart from being able to roam a little more freely, but I’m glad Sora’s normal form is not such a… liberate… mix of colors. It fits better and his face actually looks rather adorable. (Though I still don’t want more transformations with fewer worlds.)

Getting some snippets of the story is actually appreciated in my case. Of course I don’t want to know every single detail but having a few encounters certainly doesn’t harm my excitement. Seeing Marluxia and Vanitas was almost a given, but still made me excessively glad to actually see. I don’t think they need to reveal every single character, not at all, but there really is no need to hide those which were more or less hinted at anyway.

Some negative aspects:

The colors are overly saturated all of a sudden. I feel like they are too dark and lighting wasn’t really taken into consideration somehow? I dunno, Marluxia’s hair and his face are darker than before and in general, some of the shadows seen in the previous trailer are suddenly gone. I think they tried to overdo it ans some of the environments look unnecessarily dark. I know it’s more realistic, bit Disney isn’t exactly known for realistic lighting effects anyway and I much prefer the more vibrant colors which are less hard on the eyes.

Xemnas’ model irks me a little. It improved a little on the one side and got worse on the other. His skin color became really dark and looks more like the illustration from KH2. Which isn’t necessarily bad but in all other games, including the openings, he had about the same skin color as he had in the Orchestra trailer. Lightly tanned but not as dark as Ansem SoD. And now they suddenly share the same skin color? Another thing is that his face is still too broad on the right side and somehow the overall lighting was better in the previous trailer. You could actually see him illuminated by the sun, which is no longer present because it seems like there is no light source at all. It’s what I’d call “verschlimmbessern”, basically making something worse in an attempt to improve it and I wish they would include the positive aspects of the models of the current trailer with the good things of previous trailers. (Like lighting being a bit softer again, colors being lighter and not as dark, etc.)

The eyes are still too small. Period.

They somehow still haven’t reached the softness of Sora’s gameplay model. The skin looks so much better in that one.

Characters sometimes purse their lips for unknown reasons. Riku sometimes had the same problems as Young Xehanort.

Riku’s outfit is rather generic. It’s not ugly by all means, it really suits him, but Kingdom Hearts was also known for the unique outfits and that’s gone. He looks more like a Final Fantasy XV character than a KH character.

I dob’t like the new title song. I hope it gets a more catchy version in the future because as an opening, it’s way too melancholic. It’s the last entry to the Xehanort saga but it doesn’t need to sound like they’re carrying 50% of the characters to the grave. I feel like KH3 should still have those light moments galore. But perhaps it’s just the ending song. (I also don’t get the title switch from “Oath” to “Don’t Think Twice”.)

Some general observations:

Riku, why would your other you, which hopefully is not a time travel you or reincarnation stuff, want your broken Keyblade if you can’t use it even more either? If I were that character and would find that, even better with a smug note attached, I’d throw it into the ocean in a fit of rage.

Seems like they still haven’t found Aqua, although she was at the Dark Margin before.

Goofy’s monster appearance is weird as heck.

NPCs!

They still have to adjust a few things such as lighting and form, but overall it appears to be a lot more complete than before. I’d prefer the softer models but if they adjust the lighting and make it less dark, I’d be able to live with them, although they still lack details like more prominent eyelashes, bigger and more expressive eyes, and a facial features, but they’re at a state where I think it’s not completely terrible anymore. And they’ll probably fix quite a bit in the future too.

That fucking Gummi Ship.

Still no Big Hero 6 footage…

Ventus actually seems to be waking up and I’m glad they decided to hide his face. It leaves some of the awkwardness in the background and there’s a possibility that he may not look like Vanitas anymore.

Still patiently waiting for Kairi, Isa and Lea.

Riku’s hairstyle reminds me a little of Noctis?

TBC.

Things sso needs to update that nobody thinks about

Chapter 44: "FUUUUUUUUU-"