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riddlestiltskin · 1 year

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"The halls of Buckkeep were packed with festival goers, rivers of people bumping into each other and richocheting around the castle, townspeople dancing around nobles, the notion of ranking washed away in the floods of wine, ale and liquor.

The walls were thick with Smoke that Regal was pumping in from every corner, servants stood in every alcove in every corridoor and room with censers, thick clouds pouring in from them and weaving between what little space remained in the crowds.

I pushed my way through, giddy with it, from around the corner, where I had quietly exited my bedchamber. The acrid essence of Regal's favourite past time had seeped even up to Chade's secret quarters where I had been resting, how thickly the plumes billowed this night.

Harvestfest was always a tumultuous occasion, but now with Regal managing the event, it was even more raucous than usual, overflowing with wine and tainted with the bitter edge of Smoke whether you were willing or no. As much as I enjoyed celebrating the Harvest, I had never enjoyed the Smoke as my peers seemed to, it fogged up my mind and made me feel isolated in the world. It made my mind quiet, and I couldn't sense the life around me, something I rarely lacked given my predilection with the Wit. It was one of the first times during Harvestfest I was able and allowed to enjoy the festivities, without Chade whispering in my ear or Shrewd's secondary tasks to distract me. I did have one mission to complete, though, although Chade had set no limits to the task, no deadline and no specific target.

Despite this, I had someone in mind.

My breath hitched when I saw him, weaving gracefully around people who somehow didn't notice his presence, as he elegantly slid past them without so much as touching them - a near impossibility with how densely packed it was. He noticed my gawking and flashed me a grin, effortlessly diverting his course towards me. I realised I had stopped dead and so attempted to move towards him, but seemingly my feet had turned to rope and lead simultaneously, tangling together and causing me instead to stumble towards the Fool. The contradiction in our movements seem to amuse him; the Smoke had never affected him like it did me.

As he approached, I noticed how his skin seemed to radiate light. The corridor we were in was dimly lit by sconces on the wall, sparsely arranged, no doubt again by Regal, to cast shadows and encourage debauchery. Despite this, the Fool seemed to shine. He was dressed in rich colours, deep purples and reds, with gold stitching seamlessly tying together the outfit. The contrast of the rich colours made his skin almost luminous. I was entranced by him, his movements put me in mind of the way light glistens on dancing water, of all the sunsets I had watched with Molly on the cliffs of Buckkeep, the way the sunlight echoed across the tips of the waves as those evenings grew darker. Those memories were tinted rose-coloured with childhood nostalgia and the excitement of my first true love, and why the way Fool glanced at me now made me think of them, I could not say. Likely the Smoke in the air, I resolved to myself bitterly.

"Fitz?" Despite the music and voices mingling all around us, his voice somehow pierced it all, like ringing bells to my ears.

I realised I had been stood still and silent, dumbfounded, just staring at him, for a beat longer than was acceptable, even amongst close friends such as we. I looked then into his eyes, and saw something in them I had only glanced briefly before. Quickly, his lips twisted into his usual mocking smile, and whatever it was I had seen in his colourless eyes vanished, replaced by his usual knowing stare. My tongue was suffering the same symptoms as my feet now, as I fumbled and tried to form a sentence. I quickly abandoned the idea.

"FOOL!" I had to shout, the cacophony of Harvestfest made it impossible to speak at a normal volume, let alone think straight.

"Fool, I-.. Can I.."

I wanted to be closer to him, for him to be able to hear me when I asked what I knew I wanted to ask him. My face felt flushed and hot, suddenly. Curse Chade for putting me up to this. Harvestfest was the perfect time to execute this secret task, but I cursed him nonetheless for leaving this to me when I had wanted simply to drink the nights away and forget.

The Fool leaned towards me, and jingled the gold bells on his collar as he sang,

"Oh Fitzy Fitz

I cannot hear you mumble amidst this clamour;

Let us outside, that I can better listen to your stammer!"

His riddles that usually so frustrated me tonight seemed endearing, and so when he ducked out of a concealed doorway on to a balcony I had never before seen, I mindlessly followed. I knew Buckkeep was a warren of tunnels and secret passageways, but I had foolishly assumed I had discovered all of them, or that Chade at least had led me through them at one time or another. I had never noticed this doorway before, and knew I had never before set foot on this balcony either. It was only a small and narrow balcony, empty of crowds, with views across the town and out to sea.

The wolf in me noted gleefully that it was a full moon. I took this to mean that the outdoor air had cleared some of the intoxication from my mind.

The fresh, cold air emboldened me, and so I took a step towards my friend, who had turned back to face me. As I did so, I realised my mind was not as clear as I had hoped and clumsily I tripped over the doorframe and fell towards him. I reached out and inadvertently grabbed his slender wrist to steady myself, expecting him to crumble beneath my weight, but he was much stronger than he appeared. I had never been this close to him before. I leaned in even closer. It was intoxicating.

If I had thought his skin was radiant before, in the light of the full moon he seemed to glow. I noticed absently that my fingers encircled the circumference of his entire wrist, and the cool skin beneath his silk sleeve that looked so fragile was actually pushing back against my grip with surprisingly strength. He was not attempting to escape my grasp, but pressing back silently until his fingertips brushed the edge of my jawline. Ice cold, but not unpleasant, the touch sent shock waves through my entire body. I didn't understand why such a light brush of his fingers could illicit such a response from my entire body but it was like I had been struck by lightning. We were frozen together, and as I stared into his eyes, from such a position I again caught that shift, a meaningful glance I could not fathom. I had seen it before, but now the familiar Fool's smile I had come to know played softly across his features, melting into a gentle expression I had never had the pleasure to witness.

I found I could not look away, and the task Chade had set before me no longer felt like a challenge at all.

He had enlisted me to practice romantic subterfuge, to perfect the art of seduction to further my own causes as part of my assassin's training. I had originally intended to seek out Molly, but given that she was no longer speaking to me, I had assumed I would instead flirt with one of the kitchen maids.

Chade set this task over eight days ago, and simply said to take as long as I needed to, not to rush it. The old man had seemed very smug about this and implied he had expected me to struggle with this task, but impressed to me the importance of it. I shivered when I imagined him using the art of seduction - the Pocked Man flirting with anyone seemed a fantasy too far fetched.

It was only in the last few days that I had considered the Fool. He was my friend, and I was merely going to ask him to practice flirtation with me, he was one of few who knew and understood my training. I trusted him and felt if I were to be as terrible as Chade insinuated, I would be less embarrassed if I inflicted my clumsy attempts on my friend the Fool. He also had a way with words I had seen noone else in the Keep exhibit and so I had assumed I could perhaps take notes from him. I had even sought to ask his advice on who to target for this romantic task. Despite his infuriating and tricksy language, when decipherable, his words were often very wise.

Until this precise moment, though, I had not considered even remotely that I could kiss the Fool. For some reason, though, tonight I could think of nothing else. I was very aware of his lips, inches from my own, and the way he seemed to see into my very soul, I was almost wary he could sense what I was thinking, for he did always seem to have some sense of my intentions. Perhaps I was drunk, for I leaned ever closer to him, placing my right hand on the pillar behind him, now almost fully embracing him. The air between us felt charged, and I was very aware how little of it there seemed to be between us now. His expression had not changed, it was still a soft, almost triumphant smile, and his gaze had never once wavered from mine. Like marble, his skin was smooth and seemed to give off a cool air, like being near a spring on a warm day. I was privately impressed by his demeanour, until I considered that he had likely been briefed by Chade or overheard him discussing this task with Shrewd. For some reason this annoyed me, and I didn't dare delve deeper into that emotion for the time being. I wanted to simply exist in this moment without questioning.

I leaned in for the last time, intending to close the last of the electric space between us."

[My first attempt at some fan fiction for Fitz & the Fool! Written to accompany this piece I drew, please let me know your thoughts!] ~Feb 2023