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flamingo-writes · 3 years

Text

It's Better When The Sun Goes Down — Nanami x Reader

This is a piece for the Anilysium Server NSFW Collab! Make sure to check the masterlist to see other writer's works! This month's prompt was: "I can't hold back anymore"

I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to one of my dearest and closest friends. I'm not a Nanami simp myself, but they are. And I have fun writing for Nanami, and also I love writing angsty things and flawed characters. Reg, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoy my more casual writing.

(it's pink bcs youre Chancho)

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: Mentions of breakup and heartbreak, alcohol and drug consuption, public sex, ghosting, lots and lots of angst. This does not have a happy ending. This is also non proof read bcs I kinda left it to the last minute I'm sorry, I'll go back and edit it when I am not in a rush dcj nd

Summary: Nanami’s return to the Sorcerer life wasn’t so bad. It could be better if Gojo wasn’t determined to get him back with his ex. As Nanami tries to get on good terms with them, things get out of control, only to end up where it all began.

I made this playlist while writing, in case you wanna listen to it while reading. Preferably listen to it without the shuffle, but you can hear it on shuffle, no biggie.

Nanami had forgotten how painfully unbearable Gojo could be. His return as a Sorcerer had been nothing out of the ordinary for a Sorcerer's standards. Missions here and there, or watching over some of Gojo's students. But God, he had surely stepped out of the line this time.

He couldn't even begin to explain how much he hated his current situation. Fighting by your side for the first time in years felt like rubbing hot oil on an open wound. The uncomfortable ignoring the elephant in the room between you two, as you two tracked and fought what felt like a million Curses.

When the adrenaline was at its peak, it felt almost nostalgic; though he'd then remembered everything else and immediately made his own reality bitter and awkward. Overshadowed by the advantage of years of experience ahead of him made him resent you even more. He knew it was childish and pointless to keep remembering everything that happened between you two, but that bittersweet memory would most likely keep him at bay.

You were still strong, witty, fearless, reckless and quick to act and defend yourself. The way you moved looked more swiftly and coordinated than you did back in your student days. Almost as if you were a professional dancer. He hated every bit of it. He couldn’t stop looking at you, thinking about you, and the possibilities of what you two would have become.

After the mission was over, no words were exchanged between you two. Aside from the: "Are you alright?" He told you as you simply gave him a thumbs up as you caught your breath drenched in sweat. An entire ride in an uncomfortable silence, until he reached the school and you got out of the car.

"Thanks. You did a great job. Keep it up" You said. Cold, and straight to the point. Closing his car door before he could reply. And soon, you were gone.

As Nanami tried to get his mind off the mission, Gojo made it difficult. He called him to ask for the details of the mission. He seemed amused and intrigued, as clearly you hadn't told him shit. And honestly, he could understand why. Gojo was meddling on things that weren’t his business, and things that had died a long time ago.

"Why are you interrogating me, Gojo?" He asked as he pressed hisnfingers on the bridge of his nose. "Ask your underling…"

"Because that jerk left for the bar as soon as they arrived" He explained. "And I know better than to annoy a drunk [Name], It took me a while but...I finally learned my lesson" He chuckled. “I knew they could hit hard, but damn, I had a big ass bruise…” Nanami could almost hear his stupid grin.

"You make it sound like it's a recurrent event" Nanami pointed out, slightly surprised as he didn't know you were a drinker.

"Oh, Nanami-kun, you really know nothing huh?" Gojo said, smiling widely as he had managed to manipulate Nanami into asking.

"Know what?" Nanami hissed as he now swore he could hear Nanami creepily grinning at his phone.

"No, nothing!” Gojo said as if it were nothing; trying and succeeding at peeking at Nanami’s curiosity “I'm not gonna talk over depressing things on the phone. Gotta go, bye! Kith kith, Kento-kun" Gojo sang and hung up, as he smirked, proud of his little mischief. He sighed deeply as he stretched in his bed. "Soon, those two will be back together" he smirked to himself.

Nanami hissed a curse under his breath as he locked his phone and threw it on his bed and went to the kitchen. If he had understood well, Gojo had just hinted at a possible drinking problem. He tried shaking his mind off of it. You couldn't, could you? You weren’t a drinker...You weren’t the last time he saw you. You were able to party and have fun without having to intoxicate yourself.

You were wild, cheerful, unpredictable. Everything he was not. And that’s what had made him fall in love with you back in your school days. You were so laid back, he could feel it permeating into him when you two hung out. The few times he’d broken rules was because you’d been the bad influence, however, you somehow managed to get away with it, and leave him with some distant memory in which he felt actually glad to be alive. He usually felt like he was walking on a cloud stuck in time, being present and enjoying the little things that made his everyday memories.

He’d really screwed up after breaking up with you...if he could call that a breakup... His life took a dramatic turn. And then, he turned his back to this world, and got immersed in the gray life the average man in Japan had. Away from what he's familiar with, away from his friends, away from you.

And now, apparently, you had a drinking habit. He wondered if he had caused it, or if he was one of the reasons behind it. The guilt started creeping in. The same guilt and regret he felt after ghosting on you. Not being able to bring himself to properly end things with you.

The guilt he’d managed to swipe under the rug for so many years creeped back out, and followed him around as the afternoon went by. After having a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and in a lame attempt to cook dinner, he decided to test his luck. He put on a dark button down shirt and decided to go to the bar closest to the School. He felt the naive hope to find you there. However, if you had an actual problem, then his chances to see you there were higher.

Such was his surprise to find you there, trying to get rid of some insistent guy who kept talking to you despite your very obvious lack of interest. Before you could spot him, he watched you aggressively turn to the guy and talk to him in a rather rude tone. Sounding almost like a moody sailor as the guy’s face soon was washed with horror and disgust and walked away. As you turned your face back to your drink, your eyes scanned the bar, finally spotting him.

“Oh god” You whined as you pulled the glass to your lips. “It’s too early to be this drunk…” You hissed.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of you.

“Tell Gojo to go fuck himself…” You snapped at him as you stood up and stumbled your way to the bar asking for a refill. Nanami looked at you, feeling slightly sorry for your tipsy state, as he’d never seen you like that. And he knew being mad and drunk was never a good combination. As you turned around with your glass and made your way back to your table, you gave him a slightly repulsed smile. “You’re still here…”

“Gojo didn’t send me here, if that’s what you’re thinking” He replied.

“He might as well have manipulated you into doing so, has that crossed your mind?” You said with a sassy tone as you sat back down. “Why are you still standin’?”

Nanami took that as an invitation as he ignored your last comment, trying to refuse the idea that Gojo had manipulated him.

“Rough day, huh?” He said as you nodded and stared at your drink.

“Look, Kento. I’m glad that you’re back. I really am. You’re strong, and you’re smart…” You began. “But I’m gonna cut the chase, I’m kinda annoyed too. Ever since you got back, Gojo has been sticking his snobby nose into my business” You explained. “Many of the missions he sends you in, I’m supposed to be there as well, but manage to get busy by then and not go”

“So you’re actively avoiding me?”

“Yes” You replied bluntly. “Mostly because Gojo is trying very hard to bring us back together. But no, I learned my lesson the first time” You said taking a sip to your scotch, feeling it smoothly sliding down your throat, no longer feeling the burn from the alcohol.

“I haven’t apologized for that…” Nanami began.

“Don’t” You interrupted him. “It’s better this way”

“Are you sure? Because you still seem to have an issue with it…” Nanami said, managing to read you like an open book like he always did. He still had that ability.

You glared at him, angrily as you opened your mouth to snap back at him, but your mind was foggy and a big portion of your brain was focused on the little details surrounding him. His black shirt, the first buttons undone. His thick wrists, one of them hiding underneath a fancy looking watch, his blond hair pushed back, his sharp features...And god, his smell. The smell of his cologne luring you in like a fly to honey. Since any words made it to your mouth, your next step was to take another sip.

“You’re drinking too fast” He pointed out.

“None of your business” You said standing up and taking your wallet out and leaving a few bills on the tale. “I’m out” You said coldly and walked out of the bar.

Nanami sighed, frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get anything out of interaction. Aside from the pretty clear fact that you disliked him. However, he didn’t think of the possibility of you resenting him so much because you still had feelings for him.

As you walked out of the bar, the chilly wind hit the back of your neck, making you shiver. You cursed, knowing it was going to make you feel drunker faster. You made your way to the school with long steps, trying to make it to your dorm before your last drink made it to your head. Despite the cold wind, the hot tears in your eyes in a way kept your face warm. As you tried to keep yourself from crying, you heard steps behind you.

“Wait” You heard Nanami’s voice calling behind you as you stopped on command, against your own will. You swallowed the lump on your throat and managed to keep the tears still in your eyes, as you refused to look at

him. “At least let me walk you home. You can’t walk on your own like this…”

“Oh, so now you care?” You said turning around and looking at him, giving him a smug smile. “You’ve changed” You scoffed bitterly.

“Please” He said, knowing better than trying to argue with you.

Your stare on him softened, as something within you urged you to say yes. To have more time with Nanami and maybe cling to the bittersweet memories you were constantly reliving since his return.

“Fine” You said, very much to his surprise. He smiled and walked closer to you with the gentle smile that had been haunting your dreams as of lately.

“C’mon. My car is not far from here…”

You stopped coldly as he mentioned a car. Taking a second look at him, you wondered how much he’d changed. He’d become an adult through and through, hadn’t he? While you were still a mess...Or so you thought. To Nanami’s eyes, you were a far better sorcerer and warrior than him. And he envied you for it.

“Are you actually going to take me to the school?” You asked, suddenly growing suspicious of him, as you’d had plenty of experiences with strangers on the street and knew better than going into someone’s car in a drunken state.

Not that you didn’t trust Nanami. You didn’t trust yourself drunk.

“I was actually thinking of taking you somewhere for dinner and then to the school” He said.

“Not hungry”

“No, but you’re drunk. It’ll sober you up, and tomorrow morning you’ll thank me when you wake up without a hangover” He said as he walked towards his car.

“I don’t have any more money on me” You lied, looking for an excuse to avoid spending any more than necessary with him.

“I didn’t ask you if you have money” He said boldly as he managed to make you smirk for the first time since his return.

“Smooth, Nanami. You’ve grown” You said as you followed him.

The walk to his car felt like your chest burnt far more than the alcohol ever did. It felt bitter, it hurt and was nauseating. Was it really it, or was it the alcohol finally catching up with you? Like flashes of instant memories being erased from your memory, the drive to a restaurant felt like a poorly edited foreign film. The car felt like some intense themed park ride as you felt dizzy with the alcohol whispering everything you missed about him. It was gross and it was sickening.

The Ramen sign on the outside on itself managed to sober you up a little by taking your mind off Nanami. As you followed him, clumsily standing on your feet, you sat on one of the tables and tried to make sense of the dancing letters in the menu. More flashes of memories were taken off your head, as you wondered what was happening and how drunk were you for you to start blacking out.

“Not good…” you muttered under your breath.

“Did you say something?” Nanami asked.

“No. Nothing”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m not”

“You’ll feel better in a bit. Don’t worry…” He said softly as he sipped from a soda you didn’t know he had. When had he ordered it? You looked in front of you to the nice surprise that you had one too despite not knowing how or when. “I ordered some ramen for you. Something spicy...It’ll sober you up faster”

You chuckled as you looked at him.

“And how do you know that?” You asked with a cheeky tone as he smiled softly.

“Went drinking a lot with friends from work” He said. “I learned a few things here and there”

More brief black outs kept lazily painting a rather miserable painting in your memory. As you ate your ramen, you found yourself relaxing more and more. Was it the hot spicy broth? In the beginning, the balck outs weren’t getting any less frequent, however, as the night went by, you found yourself sobering up like he said. Soon, the black outs were gone, however you were still somehow locked in a haze. Although it made sense. The amount of booze as well as the short time, it was going to take a lot more than just one hot bowl of spicy ramen to get you back to a sober state.

The conversation kept flowing comfortably as both of you ate. It was reminiscent of the old days, nostalgic and somehow morbid. As the both of you tried to grasp at the old days when your worries were limited to school work. Catching up like old friends who hadn't seen each other, as if you didn’t have hard feelings for each other.

After having finished your food, Nanami paid for both of your meals and went back out into the cold night. The sky black, stars hidden by the streetlights as you made it to his car and finally noticed the silver color in it.

As he drove back to the school, you noticed he took a small detour, instantly setting alarms in your head.

“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice considerably serious as he noticed the change in tone from the pleasant talk they were having in the restaurant.

“There’s somewhere I’d like to go…” He said as he briefly looked at you and gave you a tender smile.

That smile made your heart uncomfortably skip a beat as you hated the effect he still had on you. You didn’t dare to ask any further as you slowly recognized the route he was taking. As he slowly took one of the roads towards the edge of the city close to the coast line. He stopped in a rather deserted place, as he got off the road and stopped the car.

Despite the lack of light, aside from the few streetlights, you knew exactly where you were. A whole in your chest opened dramatically as you felt your eyes tear up and happy memories attached to the location flooded your mind.

“Kento…” You said chuckling bitterly.

“When I said I wanted to apologize, I meant it…” He said as you clenched your jaw and looked out your window, avoiding his stare.

“And I told you I didn’t want to talk about it…”

“You’re still upset about it, I get it. And I don’t blame you” He began as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Look at me, please”

You wanted to say something to him. But you knew you would break down crying as soon as you opened your mouth. You took a deep breath and without saying anything you looked at him. His dark brown eyes gazing into yours, as he was looking at you with a rather pained stare.

“You remember this place, don’t you?” He asked.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you clicked your seatbelt, getting it off.

“I’m done” You said dryly as you opened the door and got out of the car.

“No, [Name]. Please, wait” He said as he mirrored your movements and excited the car walking around it.

“Of fuckign course I know where I am, Kento” You barked as you walked away approaching the door. “I know where I lost my fucking virginity, okay?” You barked as you stopped coldly and looked at him, tears finally streaming off your face. “Look, I’ll make us a favour and summarize this conversation. Yes, you’re a fucking asshole for just taking off one day and completely disappearing. Yes, I’m still mad about it. No, I won’t take your apology. No, I don’t care about whatever shitty excuse you have for me to listen to you. You bringing me here out of all places isn’t going to change shit…” You spat all in one breath as you stopped and took a deep breath.

“I loved you, Kento. I really did. And it hurt to have you just dissipate like you were a hallucination or something...You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything! And one day I lost all of that. You ruined sex for me!” You yelled angrily. “I could never hold, kiss or sleep with anyone, because at some point I’d see your stupid face, and then be incredibly underwhelmed because I would not enjoy sex. I can’t feel anything anymore, Kento...The only way I can actually enjoy those things is by getting drunk or high” You admitted. “I can’t walk into bookstores, nor eat sandwiches or diet coke, nor drink tea because all those things remind me of you. And yes, it’s lame that all these years later I still care about those things. And this is why I can’t forgive you” You cried, as your voice shook.

Nanami’s heart broke little by little at each one of your words. He knew he’d screwed up and had hurt you deeply. But he wasn’t aware of the actual impact. He clenched his jaw as he felt his chest tight and a lump on his throat. Now the drinking problem made sense. Gojo had painted it like you were an alcoholic, but it wasn’t exactly the case. So you’d gone to the bar to get it off with some stranger, probably pretending it was him.

The dizzying pain and weight of his mistakes blinded him for a second as he walked towards you as you kept bitterly complaining. As you tried to walk away, you made a very poor effort as he caught up with you and cupped your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him and shutting you up by pressing his lips against you.

The sudden surprise made your heart stop. Your mind turning numb and blank at once as you struggled to bring yourself to push him away. However, truth be told, you didn't want to push him away. The poor attempt to push him away was more than obvious. The strong fighter you were, barely making any physical effort. Nanami's hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close, squeezing you against him as he sighed into the kiss.

Finally kissing him back, you locked your lips against his desperately, eager to taste the lips you've been dreading in your dreams. Clinging to him like he was going to disappear again, a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Your chest pressing against him as he felt his own world getting blurry.

He broke the kiss pulling away as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You have no idea how much I missed you” He whispered as you clung to him.

“I-I…” You stuttered, the words tasting bitter before they even made it to your mouth. “Fuck, I want you, Kento” You growled as he pulled you in, kissing you hungrily again.

His hands posessively clinging to you as he slowly guided you back to the car. One step at the time as you both melted in a hungry sour kiss. As you ran out of breath, you pulled away, gasping for air as you gripped his collar in your hands.

“I can’t hold back anymore” You said as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, walking back to his car.

Your words unleashed a shiver down his spine as his heart skipped a beat and raced like crazy, as his pants started feeling tighter on his crotch. He chuckled softly as he realized his own judgement seemed to have disappeared with that first kiss. And before you could even make it to his car, he gripped your hips and spun you around as he bumped his forehead against yours.

“I can’t either” He admitted as he guided you to the car’s hood and pulled you over it. Ass you sat on the warm hood, he got between your legs and you wasted no time wrapping them around his waist. He grunted softly feeling your crotch against his as you pulled him closer to seal your lips together.

As you soon were absorbed by the dizziness of your rising heat, his hand went to your bare thighs as he slowly caressed your skin, going up and lifting your skirt up in the process. A soft moan slid into his mouth as he gripped your ass softly and squeezed it. The way your skin got covered in goosebumps and how you jerked your hips made him moan in response.

It felt good, and intoxicating. The driving desire burning his insides. The feeling of desiring to taste you all over and have you shaking underneath him. God, he’d missed that particular rush of adrenaline. His body reacting to the deeply buried memories now loose. He felt like he was in the best high he’d experienced. Lightheadedness and presence in the moment, he hadn’t felt this alive in so long.

Your hands were slowly undoing his buttoned shirt and were quick to explore his warm skin. He pulled away from the kiss, gasping as he looked at you. Your devilish smile matching your hungry stare. You leaned forward kissing his neck, nibbling on his skin every now and then. His hand gripped your hair tightly, pulling it lightly, making you look up at him as he stared at you.

He leaned forward, kissing you once more, this time a lot more slow and a lot more tender. It was sweet and it was slow and it took you by surprise. You felt his sweet kiss begging you, still holding on to the feelings you both decided to drown unsuccessfully. It almost hurt. It was the kind of kiss that told you how much you missed and needed each other. How much you regretted the mistakes you’ve done.

As you melted against his lips, his hands slowly slid your panties off. You helped him lifting your hips a little but as you giggled against his lips.

“Eager?” You said with a playful smirk.

“You have no idea” He replied as he took off your panties and shoved them in his back pocket.

His hand made it back to your thigh, slowly going up until he palmed your hot sex. Stealing a gasp out of your mouth, he teasingly ran one of his fingers through your dripping slit, making him smile satisfied.

“I’m not the only one, huh?” He said as you looked at him with lustful eyes.

You took his glasses off and set them aside. You were about to go back to kissing his neck when he slid one finger inside of you effortlessly. A rather loud moan escaped your lips as you shut your eyes closed feeling your entire body tingle in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You smiled satisfied as you continued kissing his neck. Slowly, he got another finger inside. The delicious stretch of his second finger prompting you to bite his neck softly making him growl your name softly. His fingers explored the whole he knew so well, as he found your sweet spot almost by muscle memory. More moans came out of your throat sounding like music to his ears.

“Fuck, Kento” You hissed as you took off your top, not caring that you were outdoors and by the road. Up to this point, you were so pent up, you simply craved him like you’d never craved anything before.

Nanami wasted no time and kissed your neck, going down to your neck, gently biting your skin every now and then. Sucking delicately on your skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t last long. He pulle dhis fingers out of you, clinging to your body desperately. As you laid on the car’s hood, you devoured him with your lustful eyes, begging him to get on top of you. Wearing just your skirt by this point, Nanami groaned at the plain sight of you.

He undid his belt and his pants. Your hands playfully teasing your own body in an attempt to drive him crazier and crazier. He cursed under his breath as he couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled his painfully hard erection out of his pants. You watched hi, intrigued, stretching your hands towards him, gently gripping his dick. His breath hitched and you smiled proudly.

Nanami leaned over the car hood, slowly getting on top of you, his shaft resting on your belly as he looked at how much deep could he go inside of you. His tip almost reaching you belly button, as the idea alone made a shiver run down his spine.

"Please, Kento" you gasped, need dripping from your voice as you caressed his dick

He growled softly as he pulled away softly, aligning against your entrance and slowly going in. You gasped, pushing your head back and pressing your hips against his making him go deeper.

Hissing your name, he jerked his hips, his tip.kissing your cervix as sudden rush of pain jolted through your body, followed by pleasure. You dug your nails in his shoulders as he thrusted back and forth, hitting all the right spots. The sound of his gasps and grunts hypnotizing as you got wetter by the second. His length coated in your juices, echoing in lewd wet noises.

He was rough. He usually was. Back in student days, he was particularly rough. As quiet and collected as he seemed, he sure got his stress out if his body through wild sex.

Relentlessly pushing against you, stretching you in such a delicious way only he knew how. Strong and aggressive movements as your walls swallowed him whole every time, breathless moans escaping your lips with every push. The cool wind kissing your skin, only enhancing his warmth.

As you felt your orgasm progressively approaching, the realization of how addicted you were to him hit you. He was everything you desired. And it was wrong. Before the feeling of uneasiness started to sink in, a sudden electric rush ran through your body. Painfully and soothing, as you tightly clenched around himbsoon numbed your mind.

As you came around him, your walls sucked him in tightly, as he was right over the brink, your velvet flesh pushed him off the edge. He didn't have time to pull out. And honestly, he didn't want to pull out. The way your walls milked him felt delicious. As he rode you through your orgasm, filling you up as his head felt dizzy and the world was spinning faster than usual. His hot seed coating your insides, as you shut your eyes closed, feeling the very last of your orgasm fading away.

He pressed his forehead against yours. Loud pants echoing.

However, the world didn't quite return to its regular focus.

The rest of the night went by in a fuzzy hot mess of events. You returned to his apartment and kept feasting on each other, making up for the lost time. Both of you incredibly starved and needy, you desperately went at it over and over again. It was a rather long night. As you feared, no one made you feel as he did. All of him was addicting. His smell, his voice, his warmth, his skin...It didn’t matter how many strangers you fucked, or how drunk or high you were, he felt just right. He made you cum so easily, it seemed ridiculous everyone else couldn’t.

But you knew it was far more than that.

You were still deeply in love with him. No wonder why he had that effect on you. Just hearing his breathlessly gasp was enough to have you soaking wet and under his mercy. Between sweet kisses, fake promises and sweaty sex, he quite literally fucked you to oblivion. Until either of you could take it any longer and you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been a long tiring night, as you knew many of your muscles were gonna be sore the next day. Your chest painted in red and blue bruises.

It was possibly one of the best night sleeps he’d had. In such a long time. The uncomfortable hole in his chest didn’t feel so wide now. Just like you, he didn’t know how much he actually needed you until now. His regrets, his guilt, the thoughts haunting him on how much of a jerk he’d been when he simply took off...All those feelings went away for a night. As he tasted the wonders of the universe under your skin. Feeling ecstatic and euphoric for the first time in years. However, nothing could’ve prepared Nanami for what he was about to experience when he woke up.

“What the hell is this?” Gojo asked as he waved around the folder you’d left a few hours earlier in the Headmaster’s office.

“Why the fuck do you care?” You said as you grabbed it, ripping it off his hands.

“You’re seriously leaving for Kyoto?” He whined.

“So my transfer was accepted? Great!” You said sarcastically as you opened the folder and saw the Headmaster’s seal at the bottom.

“What about Nanami-kun?” Gojo replied as the very last string of your patience snapped.

“Oh, fuck you, Gojo! You tried to force us back together, but it’s not going to happen” You snapped. “I’m done. I’m done with him, and I’m done with you sticking your nose in my business”

“Do you really think that running away will solve anything? You’ll still be depressed as hell”

“The less I know about him, the better” You said as you turned around, hot tears blurring your sight as you headed with long steps towards your room. “I don’t trust myself around him…” You whispered. “He’s my weakness Gojo, I can’t let that happen…” You said coldly.

You’d left that morning very early, before Nanami woke up. And you left leaving no trace of you ever being there. Unintentionally doing the same he did. It was unintentional because you hadn’t done it out of spite. Your thought process had been simply. You preferred to not have that conversation and simply leave without him noticing. You had had the exact same thought process Nanami had had all those years ago.

You didn’t waste time and soon started packing your things to leave for Kyoto right away.

#jjk smut #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines #nanami kento #nanami x you #nanami kento imagines #nanami x reader #nanami angst #server collab

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queenharumiura · 3 years

Note

Hayato looked at the window, he has been in the hospital for a few months now as he wasn't sure who he was, all that they knew was the little they could find on his wallet. Name and from where he was, although the information was all false, but they still used the false name. A few days later he was finally found as he stares at the woman in front of him. "Who are you?" A nurse got in looking confused. "Oh miss? Are you lost? This patient doesn't have a family." - TYL bc I CAN.

[Unprompted ask] One r00d prompt after another. I don’t know if I did this one justice, but I sure did try! I hope I kick you in the feels.

Haru woke up to find herself in a hospital one day. Racking her brain, she could vaguely remember an explosion of some sort? She looked herself over to see bandages wrapped over every which way on her limbs. She couldn’t help but sigh in lament. “Surely he wouldn’t mind a scar or two… right? If he did, I married the wrong man.” She joked to herself, fighting depressing thoughts with something more light-hearted. Her stuff lay right beside her on a table.

Within the few months that Gokudera had gone missing without a word, Haru had done her best to fill in, but it was obvious that she could not do a perfect job. Not to disparage her own intelligence, but Gokudera was also extremely intelligent in his own right. That much she had to begrudgingly admit. Additionally, there were some things that required brute strength, something she did not have.

The most she could do is use her intelligence to quickly go through paperwork and make heads or tails of things. Whatever required brute force, she’d have to trouble someone else to get the job done. It would be a lie to say that Haru wasn’t a mess, overwork was evident in her face from all the all nighters she’d pull.

Gokudera probably thought he could go crazy with how busy he was when he filled in for Tsuna, who had passed away, but what about her? She now had to fill in FOR THE FILL IN! On top of that, she was riddled with worry about how her husband had been missing for months.

Even now the Vongola was struggling to stay afloat, but everyone was pitching in to help, and for that, she was grateful. For some time, Haru started acting as the proxy for the ailing Storm Guardian, stating that he had returned from a dangerous mission and needed time to recover. As his wife, she was speaking for him.

Of course, that was a lie. No one else knew except for a select few that Gokudera was missing in action. It was stressful to say the very least and she worried day and night about where that husband of hers was, but she never voiced a word of complaint to anyone. She had to stay strong and do her best for whenever Gokudera returned.

She would occasionally attend meetings and do her best to live her life as normally as she could, but things were never that easy. As she spearheaded her way to involving herself deeper in the mafia politics, the more dangerous things became for her. The more horrors she had to face. The very things that Gokudera had shielded her eyes from over the years.

She felt guilty for sure, but she also felt upset. Was she that untrustworthy of a wife that he didn’t want to tell her these things? No, she knew that it was likely a vain answer such as, ‘not wanting to make you worry too much.’ How silly. The moment they exchanged their marriage vows, they agreed to accept everything about the other. No matter how dangerous and scary things were, she would have to put up with it and push through.

This is how a Yakuza wife must feel in those movies. She couldn’t stay here for long. Taking her stuff from the side table, she climbed off the bed. With no one around, she went walking down the halls, searching for someone who could discharge her when she came to a sudden stop. There, staring out the window was a familiar figure. “Hayato?” She rushed over to his side, grabbing his face in her hands to get a good look at him. It’s him.

She recognized those eyes everywhere. Every scar she remembered (and a few new ones) were exactly where she remembered them to be. When he asked her who she was, she jumped back in surprise. Was this a joke? She searched his eyes and realized that he wasn’t joking. He couldn’t remember her. How much memory loss did he have? Was it that he forgot about her entirely, or he couldn’t recognize her? Did he forget about the Vongola?

Just how bad was his situation that he, with his incredibly memory, forgot everything? ‘It’s possible that his mind forced him to forget so he could focus on recovery.’ Did that mean he had to forget about her too?

Right, she probably gave him more stress than anything, huh? She felt like deadweight before, but she felt utterly useless now.

Next, a nurse came in to tell her that he didn’t have a family.

What nonsense was that? He had a family! He had a wife, and he had a half-sister, who was still alive, mind you. She was about to say something, but something came to mind. The nameplate aside his bed, the lack of a wedding band.

This man was her husband, but also wasn’t her husband at the same time. He had a new identity here at this hospital. He couldn’t remember her or the vows they exchanged back then. Perhaps, he’d be happier living out this life here unaware of the dangers his previous life offered him?

No, if his memory would ever return, he wouldn’t forgive her for leaving him there. She fiddled with her wedding band on her finger, hiding it from view. Yes, it was better this way if he didn’t remember a thing.

“No… I recognize him, he has a family. He has a half-sister who I can call to come pick him up.” She glanced at the hand that wasn’t wearing his wedding band one last time before she looked away. “He’d gone missing a few months ago and we’ve been looking everywhere like crazy.” She spoke as steadily as she could, but the shake in her voice couldn’t be disguised. Before tears welled up in her eyes, she bit her bottom lip hard enough that she could taste metal. “Please give me a moment, I’ll make the call.”

The woman left the room and made a call, making arrangements to bring him home, and telling for Bianchi to come with a different identity, one that would match the backstory of the identity Gokudera had according to what he carried in his wallet.

…

“You didn’t tell him? That you’re married?” Bianchi asked as she handed Haru a cup of coffee that she got from a vending machine. She had finished talking to the doctors about getting Gokudera discharged. They were getting him ready to leave.

“No, I thought it would be better for him not to know. I want him to focus on recovery.” Haru said as she took a sip of the bitter coffee. “Don’t you think you could help him recover by being by his side?” Bianchi questioned, unsure of why Haru was being this passive. Before, Haru would insist on being by his side, nursing him back to health. She would’ve fought tooth and nail to ensure his steady recovery.

It was something that Bianchi always liked about Haru, her earnest nature in caring for those she loved. It was something that she could relate to, after all. Unfortunately, Reborn was gone from this world.

For a time, Haru was the only one who could understand her feelings of the anxiety losing a loved one, but that didn’t comfort her. After all, the one Haru ‘lost’ at the time was her own brother. So Haru’s passive behavior was questionable.

A bitter smile flashes across Haru’s face, her thumbs rubbing against the warmth of the coffee cup. “You know, I’m going to do it. Be a messenger.”

“You-! Absolutely not! Who put such a stupid idea in your head!? You know what happened to the last messenger! They killed him!”

The younger woman didn’t react, taking another sip of her coffee. “They demand to see someone who has some rank within the Vongola. I may not be an able fighter, nor am I heavily involved with politics… but I am the wife of the right hand man. That in itself gives me enough rank to qualify. This is to show our ‘sincerity’ about wanting to proceed with peace talks.”

This was a woman who was determined to do something for the sake of others. She may be somewhat of a coward, but Haru always seemed to have a heart of a lion if it meant she had to protect something. In this case, she had her friends and her family to protect.

Haru had the confidence in being able to hold her own in peace talks, but she’d be thinking too optimistically to assume the Millefiore weren’t simply asking for another sacrifice to make an example of.

Logically speaking, she was the best option. They could fulfill their sick desires and the Vongola, in theory, wouldn’t lose much. She wasn’t a fighter. She historically wasn’t involved in politics. She only involved herself recently due to Gokudera being MIA. Sure, the Vongola would lose some face, but their battle strength won’t weaken with her death.

Who knows? Maybe they’ll become stronger in the name of vengeance. Wouldn’t that be nice if that’s what they needed to win?

“Even so, that doesn’t mean that you-“ “I know my status. My rank is empty. We can lose another guardian or an able fighter. Letting me go would yield the smallest damage. I’m sure if Hayato regained his memories, he’d volunteer himself to go, but… Bianchi… I’ve already lost him once, haven’t it? I can’t lose him again, don’t make me do it.” Haru’s stony countenance shattered as she broke down into tears.

Did she want to die? No. Did she fear death? Yes, but she feared losing Hayato far more than that. She already thought she’d lost him before and she refused to send him off to his death a second time.

Bianchi quietly pat her back, understanding the conviction the woman had to keep her husband safe. She understood the sacrifice that Haru was steeling herself for in order to ensure the Vongola didn’t lose out on too much.

She understood it all logically, but she still didn’t want to admit to it. This girl, was her brother’s wife. That meant she was her dear sister-in-law. Why did things have to turn out this way? It was incredibly vexing and unfair.

“He’d never forgive you.” He would never forgive Bianchi either for letting Haru go as a messenger. She hoped that by saying this, she could shake Haru’s resolve.

The brown-haired woman pulled away from Bianchi, wiping away her fallen tears, steeling her heart once more. “The dead don’t ask for forgiveness. I’ll find a way to convince everyone. If we’re lucky, they won’t touch me, a non-combatant.”

That’s a lie.

“It’s too dangerous to send a guardian there, and they’re needed on other missions.” That’s the truth, and she’d know, because she had a hand at assigning guardians to different tasks. She’d purposefully sent many of them away so they couldn’t stop her and volunteer themselves instead.

As much as she believed in their strength, it was too much to assume anyone could get out alive when in the middle of the Millefiore base with all their forces looking down on you. It was much too risky, and organizing a rescue mission would be even more tricky.

She believed it best to simply use someone as a discardable piece and she nominated herself.

“Don’t tell him about anything. Let him heal at his own pace. Hopefully, he’ll never remember about me, that way, he won’t ever had to lose me.” You can’t lose someone if you can’t remember them.

What a blessing in disguise. “There has to be another way.”

Haru shook her head. If there was a plan that had a good probability of succeeding, Haru would gladly take the option, but there wasn’t. The Millefiore was just too strong and their hands reached far. It wasn’t worth the risk of losing a guardian or two for a plan that had less of a 10% chance of succeeding.

“I won’t hesitate to sacrifice myself to protect everyone for a while longer. I’m sure Tsuna-san and Hayato would’ve done the same. Think of it as me giving back for all the times I was protected.” She was going to make herself truly useful.

“If… he ever regains his memories… tell him I’m sorry for being selfish.” She didn’t want to lose him again. Hopefully her sacrifice would push the Vongola in the direction of victory.

Surely, he could find someone better. Someone who could help him more than she could.

…

“Those bastards! Who let her go through with this!?”

“How did she die?”

“The tests show poison. She hid it within her ring. Where did she get her hands on such a thing?” Eyes turned to look at a certain individual who said nothing.

She could only remember something Haru said a couple days ago:

“If they’re serious about a peace treaty, I’ll do fine. If it’s a ruse, I’ll make sure they can’t get any useful information out of me.” She fiddled with her ring that had a mechanism to inject her with lethal poison should the situation go down south.

It was a bit morbid, but adding this feature to her wedding ring was poetic in her mind. Before she could be used, she would save herself with death.

Bianchi looked down at the woman laying in the casket that the Millefiore had so ‘graciously’ sent to them filled with Edelweiss flowers, symbolizing courage and devotion.

“Don’t let her sacrifice go to waste. We have work to do.”

#Thehandworld #Answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Haru speaks #((Muse; Gokudera))#((You wanna torment me with amnesia? I'll one up with straight up sacrificing Haru))#((How is that for an angst train? The last one was tame but how about this?))#((It still feels a bit tame for me but just imagine he regains his memories and finds out she died. HA))#((The true angst is in the post events))

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