#femto x reader
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— ⟡ dizzy drabbles disclaimer !!
all dizzy drabbles are written when i am extremely high ( or, dizzy ) and they don’t contain a trigger warnings list. if there’s no indication by the request, you can assume that the fic is nsfw + probably dark-leaning, if not blatantly dark. noncon, dub con, and other triggering content may be present, read with caution ( enjoy your experience <3 )
just think about being femto’s chosen pet.
a hawk that should’ve been sacrificed with the others, and yet you lived. your former leader, the same as your former lover, was gone and in his place stood a looming, dark winged angel of death. however, a soulless crimson gaze remains fixed on you for what seems like hours and hours. clawed hands wrapped around the large, domed cage he’s trapped you in, as if he wants nothing more than to rip the door off and grab you.
at first, you cried and beg to be freed. you call his name in desperate shrieks. “Griffith, please! Let me out!” but, eventually, you realize that it will do no good.
femto has no reaction to your begs for mercy. he is stoic and silent, with ever-watching eyes that follow your every move. he doesn’t try to stop you from pulling at the bars- no, bones, of your cage. oh no, femto reaches his shiny, black arm into your cage, sharp claws extended, grasping for you.
though, of course, you stumble to the back wall of the cage, it is nowhere near big enough to hide from him. you turn your face, feeling the very tips of his claws, like daggers, drag along the fleshiest section of your cheek. you whine at the sensation, certain that if he applied any pressure at all, his claws would pierce your cheek. one, large thumb hooks against your jaw, pulling your face back towards him. you squint, but your body is too weak to fight against his command, and with a small sound of protest, you look up at him. he towers over your cage by at least a full head and shoulders, but his face is leaned so close to the bars that it is nearly pressed against it— his feline eyes pinned out. he looked like a beast, and you were almost surprised that he didn’t snort like one. but, you’d noticed, that femto’s chest didn’t rise and fall with breath, at all.
his obsidian talons scrape along the shape of your jaw, his thumbnail dragging against your trembling, lower lip. you wonder, as you cower in front of this demon king, if there’s a single inkling of Griffith left within him. did he, somehow, recall the taste of the lips that he touched, now? there was a glittering possibility in his eyes. as if he were deep in thought as they focused on your lips. however, his pupils started to dilate the lower his gaze, and his claws, traveled. tearing open your top with ease— as if shredding old parchment.
your chest heaved, up and down with ragged breathing as you whined and begged him under your breath not to hurt you, but he wasn’t listening. by the time his massive palm envelopes your bare breast, his pupils were so blown out that they possessed the entire eye, making them abysmal pools of wicked intent. he teases your taut nipple with his thumb and forefinger, squeezing experimentally before the sharp end of the nails poke and prod at the bud, causing you to squirm and pant, nervous. they nick your flesh, whether he means to or not, and a thin stream of rubies drip from your chest, running down the length of your belly. you gasp, and try once again to recoil from him, but the closer you press yourself into the opposite side of the cage, the closer he leans, until his body is up against the bone bars, and they creak from his weight.
“Don’t… touch…” you whisper, desperately, but it’s much too late. closing your eyes as you feel his cruel fingers tread lower, smearing your own blood into your skin before they delve between your quivering legs. you try to close them, but even his fingers are too strong to defy, and they press against your tender button hard. “A-agh!” you’re forced to bite back the sound of discomfort, the tips of his talons scoring at your most vulnerable core, the slick pads of his fore and middle finger pushing at your nether lips to spread your pussy open. your thighs, shaking but wide, do little to cover the full view of your cunt to the monster, whose smile is faint, and his tongue flicks at his own, vermilion lips. with the length of his ring finger, he rubs between your folds, pulled apart to grant him the access that he wants, and you feel the pressure from every inch of his long, thick digit. “M-monster…”
it doesn’t seem to bother him. in fact, you wonder if he even heard you. his eyes glued to your cunt, his finger rubbing from your clit to your hole, that clenches unwilling at the rough treatment. you hate that your clit swells and throbs against his finger, and that when he realizes, he focuses all of the pressure there, until you’re moaning and squirming, with tears in your eyes.
you don’t want it to feel good, but it does.
you don’t want to cum, but you do.
and you don’t want that to seal your fate as femto’s fragile, little fuckdoll. but it does.
#doll’s dizzy drabblin’ ⟡#femto#femto x reader#femto x you#femto smut#femto berserk#berserk griffith#griffith berserk#griffith smut#griffith x reader#griffith imagine#berserk x reader#berserk x you#berserk#berserk smut
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If your asks are still open, I'd like to make a request. How would Griffith react to a S/O who's fascinated by demon and wishes to study them? Maybe study him while she's at it. The demon bird is oddly fascinating. Lol
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𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔬𝔫 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔩𝔢𝔡𝔤𝔢
summary ;; — studies about demons and apostles isnt really common knowledge, so it sparked your interest when you first stumbled upon them. and lucky for you, the most powerful demon isnt opposed to letting you study him.
featuring + contains ;; — femto [griffith] x gn! reader. post eclipse.
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⋆*･ﾟ: :✧*⋆ ･ﾟ
ever since you unintentionally stumbled upon this whole other world of demons, apostles and magic, it had undoubtedly attracted you. topics of these subjects were counted as witchcraft in usual society, meaning that even studying them would mean having your own exectutioning.
although you didnt really have to worry about that anymore now that you were able to face the real deal. from learning bits of magic and the fundamentals of how it works and its affects on the subconscious mind, to the different powers and senses of apostles, though you were quick to realise that most would typically have its own appearances and strength rather than being generalised.
a perfect example of this is femto himself. one of the members of the godhand, and therefore one of the strongest beings in existent, or perhaps the strongest of all.
he does understand your curiosity, as these things you've been exposed to arent normal and would definitely force you to adjust to this whole new world. but what surprised him was that a key part of your interest was in him in particular, and also the god hand. you found it interesting how his demon form was opposite to the form he usually took, which was angelic and ethereal, yet his demon form radiated darkness. the contrast in his two forms was astronomical.
this obviously sparked your interest, and you, being more concerned about curing your curiosity rather than the being in front of you, straight out asked to study him when hes in his demon form. he, slightly amused by your determination, fondly accepted.
you werent even sure what happened when he transformed into his true form, femto. admittedly, you had never truly seen this form of his for yourself, you had only vaguely heard of it. and he, likely would not show this form to just anyone. it was completely different to all the different scenarios you had imagined. you knew that griffith was no true angel although he acted and looked like one, but it would not change the fact he was a demon beneath the surface, and this form had proven it to you expertly.
but you found it beautiful. it wasnt the form itself, but the contrast between that of his regular and this. one was enveloped in warmth, light and calamity, while this one was clad in intensity, overwhelming power and darkness.
your favourite part were his wings.
maybe this form did have connection to his usual one, he was known as the hawk of light after all.
his lips were a purple-y red, his blue eyes and pale skin sticking out due to the darkness surrounding him. for a good few minutes, you were gobsmacked and just stood, staring and analysing, with your jaw on the ground. this was far better than whatever you couldve imagined and it made you excited knowing he was allowing you to study him.
if it was by asking questions, asking him to do certain physical things such as flying, flapping his wings, perhaps even slightly injuring himself with a dagger, it opened multiple new paths for you to go on on your journey for knowledge about the world of demons and apostles you resided in.
( people pleaser bat-demon bf likes the attention and feels giddy whenever you analyse him with no shame whatsoever )
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#anime#manga#berserk#berserk griffith#griffith#berserk femto#femto x reader#berserk x reader#berserk griffith x reader#griffith x reader
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Can Star Wars fans explain to me why y’all think Sheev Palpatine is evil? Like he isn’t comedically evil like Dio Brando (I hate em and he terrible but he handsome and funny ish) and he isn’t evil evil like Griffith/Femto is (real mfs know I don’t gotta go into Griffith’s crimes against humanity and my happiness as a reader)x
I understand that in the EU they added a lot of dlc crimes to Sheev Palpatine but in these films he’s really not that bad like Luke Skywalker has an higher body count than Sheev if we’re going off direct kills.
Like you watch these films and they do a bit of telling about how evil the sith are but we never see anything that viscerally evil. Meanwhile, I watch jojo and Dio is actively ruining the life’s of characters I love even beyond the grave. And in Berserk I don’t even want to get into what the fuck Griffith turns into in a span of 3 films (Ik the manga but still)
It seems Sheev’s only crimes is being ugly and in ROTJ he electrocutes a man with an 1m+ kill count who’s a terrorist. I dunno it’s just not giving evil
Y’all hype this man up like he Satan 2 but nothing he does ever eclipses Femto and that’s the only fictional character I really can put the Satan 2 title on lmao
#star wars#sw#sw prequels#sw sequels#original trilogy#sw hc#sw headcanons#sw memes#sith order#darth sidious#jjba#sheev palpatine#sheevposting#swtor#jojo no kimyou na bouken#sw meta#sith#sw movies#emperor palpatine#jojo’s bizarre adventure#dio brando#griffith berserk#femto#femto berserk#Griffith
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Reading for Redemption in Post-Golden Age Berserk
Below is some rambling thematic/character analysis and vague gay flapping about how Berserk could have *ahem* or should have ended. So please enjoy my little theory brain working on overdrive again (if you like) as I discuss how Griffith and Guts’s relationship could have been resolved through one decisive act... No it’s not killing Griffith, get out of here!
To follow are some ideas including (pearl clutch):
Griffith’s “redemption”
An act of love between Guts and Griffith
Guts becoming a shield instead of a sword as the culmination of his character arc
A second (!) sacrifice
This is a bit of a grasping-at-straws deep-dive into post-GA Berserk, but one that is I think actually surprisingly well-substantiated, that is if you’re willing to follow me into the vague realm of thematic parallels. For those of you who were unsatisfied with the way this latter part of the story treated G&G's relationship, I hope you might especially enjoy it.
Caution: I’m basically reading the entire post-GA story through the lens of Griffith and Guts’s relationship, because to me that’s the emotional and narrative heart of the story. I think we can in fact view a lot of post-GA relationships and characters through this lens, and the story becomes, imo, richer for it. Think Jill and Rosine, Serpico and Farnese, just for some easy ones.
Please keep in mind that this is obviously 1000% empty speculation and useless headcanon at this point, and it relies on drawing connections between seemingly disconnected scenes and characters, but it’s fun to think through this stuff, so I hope you enjoy this little journey into my sad gay heart and hopefully it’ll at least give you some food for thought by the end.
I’m also relying on previous meta written by myself and @bthump, so if you feel you’re missing context for any of this, please check out my previous two metas and basically bthump’s entire archive (an intimidating prospect that I assure you is totally worth it).
For all those simply interested in “Guts chops off Griffith’s stupid head”-esque discussions... Well, you’re welcome to stay... but strap in.
Part 1, On Post-Eclipse Griffith: Griffith Needs to be “Redeemed,” But What Does That Actually Mean?
The way I read NeoGriffith, and basically every moment post-Eclipse for Griffith generally, is that he is living his own personal hell. He is lonely, he is miserable, he’s playing prince charming in an empty and unfulfilling (heterosexual) relationship with Charlotte. He is loved and adored by everyone around him, he is the bearer of light, but I think it’s clear that in spite of this (and perhaps because of it) he still hates himself.
His last act as a human soul was to destroy himself by destroying those around him, and that moment was crystallized into the form of Femto.
And indeed, that shadowy other half remains very much present post-Eclipse. Femto and NeoGriffith are shown to be inextricable mirrors: the charming outward persona and the festering self-hatred beneath the mask. The two are halves of the same coin – Griffith’s two coping mechanisms, forever intertwined after the Eclipse.
We see this at play in “Backlighting” especially, where it’s made clear that Femto is always “with” NeoGriffith.
(Chapter 303, “Backlighting”)
(And side note, I hope to eventually post another meta about this motif of light/darkness in post-GA Berserk at some point… probably in like three years or something given my posting history lol)
In addition to this continued presence of Femto as an embodiment of Griffith’s self-loathing, we are also clearly shown his loneliness as NeoGriffith, and also his dissatisfaction with his life, in every panel where we see him standing alone/isolated from his new Band of the Hawk.
However – and this is where I begin my pitch for reading the entirety of Berserk through the Guts x Griffith lens – I think his mindset is also communicated to us as reader indirectly, through the voice of a different character entirely: the Pontiff. A minor character to be sure, but take a look at his inner monologue in Chapter 264. It’s both visually and rhetorically associated with Griffith.
See the parallels in the theme of repression of personal desires, a zealotry-based leadership role, light/darkness interplay and mirroring, castle and hawk wings imagery, and an assertion of worthlessness:
(Chapter 264, “Divine Revelation”)
Tell me that doesn’t sound suspiciously similar to someone else we know!
Now this is the type of thing that I find post-GA Berserk does a lot – it gives us these highly emotional moments about characters we really don’t know or care very much about as readers. It can lead to a bit of disconnect and feeling that the story has cheapened itself by highlighting these random characters. However, at least for me, this recurring pattern can be recontextualized by reading these charged moments as analogues for other characters, in that they are giving us insight through parallels with characters we know and care more about. I realize there is no in-text justification for doing this, but it provides a richer post-GA reading experience, at least for me, and hopefully for some of you as well.
So, through the Pontiff, I think we’re being granted a small glimpse into what Griffith might be feeling in his new life. Lest you think I am grasping at straws, which I totally am, nevertheless I offer you this: to Griffith too, the world in his new life has become a pretty painting, a castle on the wall, but he is left cold and lonely, stranded in the dark. “There was no love, hatred, nothing.” The absence of everything, specifically his everything, the world-shattering pain and love that Guts represents for him, remains a void in Griffith’s life.
(And as a bonus, also note the scene’s prominent light/dark reflection of the black and white Hawk – i.e., Femto and NeoGriffith, as visually paired and inverse)
Now, what does this have to do with Griffith’s capacity for “redemption”? Well, according to my previous readings of Griffith’s motivations behind sacrificing Guts and the Hawks, I do not believe that he feels any remorse or regret about the sacrifice. That’s because in order to feel regret, he would have to believe that both:
There was another choice he could have made
He deserves to feel something other than pain
I would offer that regret doesn’t belong in a headspace where Griffith thinks he is currently paying the price for his actions – with his emptiness, eternal suffering, repression, self harm, all of it. His life as NeoGriffith is, for him, both imprisonment and penance – it is the embodiment of the idea that he has to live as a monster. This is him reaping what he’s sown, "bear[ing] his evil and confront[ing] his destiny" as Void puts it.
In other words, he can’t regret his decision because he’s living with what he thinks he deserves. To admit otherwise is to admit that he doesn’t deserve this torment, which should be unthinkable to someone who still wears his self-loathing as a literal suit of armour.
And yes this perspective is extremely selfish, it’s not seeing the world from the perspective of those who he has harmed by his actions, but, evidently, that’s what self-loathing can do to people.
To conclude Griffith’s arc in a satisfying way, I would have liked to see him confront his actions, to experience regret, to repent from a non-selfish perspective. However, to do so, he would have to finally see himself as someone worthy of being loved, and to recognize that he in fact was that person once. That the sacrifice was a mistake after all, because he was loved by Guts all along.
The story has set up the fact that Griffith still absolutely needs Guts. Griffith at his most traumatized, at his moment of greatest despair needed (and now still needs) help to escape from the hell he’s living and thinks he deserves. And it’s all because he’s the victim of a misunderstanding that has led him to mistakenly believe he was never loved and was never worthy of love.
He chose the sacrifice because he was told by the Godhand that he is too dirty, too evil, to be redeemed or to be loved, in spite of Guts loving him all along. This is the belief that tore their relationship (and the world) apart. And it was a mistaken one! Guts is the one with the ability and the willingness to give him that: to right that narrative wrong. From this perspective, the only thing that will “save” Griffith, to allow him to repent and acknowledge what he’s done was a mistake, is an expression of love from Guts.
Now, I would have believed that this ending was unlikely or impossible except for the fact that Guts is not only aware that he fucked up with Griffith and is consumed with regret over it, but he has also spent the rest of the story trying to right that wrong in misguided ways (i.e., through Casca instead of through Griffith). And given Guts’s inability to fully embrace his hatred of Griffith, because he still loves him, I suspect that in fact all it would take to be swayed into redirecting this back to Griffith is for him to understand what Griffith is actually feeling (still human underneath, heart beating for him and otherwise dead inside, consumed by self loathing, believing he isn’t worthy of love).
I basically think the post-GA story was set up to end with Guts demonstrating his love for Griffith in some way. That’s the reason why the story continued after that point. And in fact, Guts being given a do-over has been foreshadowed explicitly – karma is a spiral, and “those children” have the chance to right the mistakes from the first time around.
(Chapter 222, “Claw Marks”)
Some sort of do-over seems both narratively and generically necessary here – Griffith has been operating since their second duel under a mistaken belief about how Guts felt about him all along, and Guts has the key to fix it.
If the narrative ended without righting that mistake, undoubtedly in the most juicy, melodramatic circumstances possible (e.g., perhaps it would be too late to matter as both are poised to die anyway), it would be both narratively unsatisfying and incomplete. This mistaken belief – that Guts never loved Griffith – lies, after all, at the heart of the story, it’s what made everything go wrong in the first place. Narratives about misunderstandings must correct them for the emotional payoff, I think it was simply a matter of when it happened and under what circumstances.
Part 2, On Foreshadowing: There Are Lots of Interesting Parallels Between Pre- and Post-GA Berserk, OK?
One idea for how this narrative resolution might have gone down I’m also taking from a non-directly G&G related plot beat in post-GA Berserk.
Now, we all know about the explicit and more subtle (read: gay) parallels between Rosine/Jill and Griffith/Guts drawn throughout the Lost Children Arc. But what if I were to suggest that the final note of their relationship, Jill throwing herself on top of Rosine, might have offered a thematic parallel to Griffith and Guts at the end of the story? Perhaps Guts might do the same in a moment of love and pain:
(Chapter 116, “The Way Home”)
This hope and a prayer (i.e., super amazing thematic prediction that isn’t based on any concrete evidence whatsoever) would have been a neat conclusion for the story, tying together a bunch of story threads in an incredibly simple and elegant way:
The narrative misunderstanding/wrong at the heart of the story (i.e., that Guts never loved Griffith) would finally be finally put right
It provides a neat resolution to both Griffith’s and Guts’ character arcs
The parallels are on point
To expand on this, in terms of character arcs, on Griffith’s end, a moment like this, perhaps where Guts bodily protects Griffith from a killing blow, would finally allow him to correct his fundamentally negative and damaging view of himself that has defined his entire character arc, the view that has led him to believe that he should bury himself under self hatred and repressed desires. Because if Guts sacrifices himself for him, it would not just tell but show Griffith that he was in fact loved all along. This act would finally provide him with a genuine sense of self and self worth through a love that is entirely reciprocated (instead of through dreams: either selfishly or selflessly pursued).
This would be incontrovertible evidence of Guts’s love for him; one of the main problems in resolving this narrative misunderstanding is to create a situation where Griffith can actually believe that Guts’s expression of love is genuine – how can he possibly believe this through anything other than an extreme, incontrovertible act? And so I offer Guts sacrificing his life for him.
On Guts’s end, it would finally allow him to take his life into his own hands and truly self actualize – he’s been passively reacting for most of the story, and this would be a chance for him to actively do something, to finally make a meaningful choice, and it would be an act that would allow him to unburden himself of hatred, regret, guilt, etc. It would also fulfill what I think of as one of Guts’ most deeply held personal values and beliefs – his desire to save someone through an act of love rather than through his sword (and yes I read Guts as fundamentally a caretaker at heart, more on this below).
In terms of parallels:
The theme Berserk often returns to about the merits of being with someone v. the burden of “protecting” someone would finally be resolved with Guts (likely) failing to protect his loved one, but also in doing so finally being with him in their (likely) dying together and finally fully coming to an understanding of each other.
Guts realizing that his life can mean something outside his sword (what he’s been looking for his whole life) – basically becoming a shield instead of a sword at the end of the story.
Griffith’s sacrifice at the end of the GA would finally be mirrored by a reciprocal act by Guts in the form of a second sacrifice, but this case one that is born out of love instead of hate. This idea in particular I need as a reader so badly, particularly because the acts they each took on behalf of the other across their relationship are so uneven – Guts has just been so passive overall and as a reader it would be incredibly satisfying to have him take up his role as the protagonist and take the final, decisive action to resolve their relationship. This is also why I can’t get on board with any resolution where Griffith has to take another action “for” Guts – imo the resolution of this arc should rest on Guts’ shoulders.
Basically, it would give both of their lives meaning in one swift move.
And what’s especially neat about this potential conclusion to the story is that I think the story gives us some really provocative small moments that foreshadow it, where we're shown that love can triumph over hatred.
At least some sort of reconciliation/act of love comes up again and again in the story, though in seemingly unrelated situations that imo just have too much in common with Guts/Griffith to dismiss outright. There’s of course the “karma is a spiral” moment and the Jill & Rosine parallels that I’ve mentioned, which suggest that it’s possible to still right a deep-seated wrong, to “save” (at least emotionally, if not physically) someone who has fallen into darkness through an act of love.
But there’s also the idea of saving one’s “other half” “from being torn to pieces in the storm” via Serpico and Farnese:
( Chapter 211, “Evil Horde Part 1”)
God, this passage. First off, I think Guts and Griffith's relationship is being explicitly paralleled through the word choices (“other half”/”half of me”), but also because this sentiment is basically echoing all of Guts’s paralysis and helplessness at the moment of the Eclipse.
Like Serpico, he too was unable to set his loved one free from a prison of darkness and hatred, something perfectly visualized in Guts trying in vain to pry his way in to Femto’s eggshell – as well as all the regret, hatred, and feelings of impotence (i.e., the darkness) that came along with that failure.
The “I didn’t think to try” aspect to this is also relevant and interesting given the changed context of pre- and post-Eclipse G&G. Guts during the GA didn’t see what Griffith was going through as leader of the Band of the Hawks as being a prison, a burden, or damaging to his sense of self; he simply thought he was “flying alone” above all of them but couldn’t conceive of how personally devastating that was for Griffith. Now though, after Guts has taken up the mantle as the RPG group leader, he’s probably in a better position to understand this and to also understand that something better is preferable for both of them, even if it seems like it’s forever out of reach.
And yet Serpico’s statement seems to be a really significant idea in light of all this – it’s suggesting that maybe this dilemma isn’t over – that maybe Guts can still see to it that his “other half isn’t torn to pieces” in some new storm that’s brewing.
I also submit Case B: Luca and her tribute to “the chick [child] that died within the egg”… Now, while she’s specifically addressing Eggman throughout this scene, this moment also explicitly parallels Griffith as a similar child who died within an “egg.” Compare:
(Chapter 83, “God of the Abyss” and Chapter 176, “Determination and Departure”)
This is a “sinner’s” tribute to a child who died too young, who is now buried and alone, who has no one to love or mourn him. Again, I think the parallels to both Griffith and Guts are there, telling us that even those people who have done terrible wrongs, who have lived shameful lives, can still be loved (i.e., mourned), and that trauma does not have to define you or your legacy.
And this connection doesn’t just appear through the language choices (sinner, chick) but also through mirrored imagery between the above scene and these ones:
(Chapter 59, “Devil Dogs Chapter 1” and Chapter 331, “Spring Flowers of Distant Days Part 3” although admittedly the latter one comes much later, so it only works as a retroactive parallel)
The essential thing that Luca’s tribute is telling us as readers, is that in mourning (a form of love) someone evil and despicable, love offers the counterpoint, specifically the remedy, to hatred.
Part 3, On Narrative Conclusions: Why a Second Sacrifice?
So, my dumb little brain is telling you that the conclusion of the story should have been a scene where Guts makes a sacrifice for Griffith. But why?
Well, most importantly I think it offers a crucial structural parallel to the other sacrifices we've seen throughout the story. That's because there are some important distinctions to make between this sacrifice and earlier ones. This sacrifice would not be with a behelit. It would not be the consequence of magic or the gods meddling, the strings of fate, or an action born of hatred. It would not be a sacrifice that destroys people but instead one that actualizes them.
I think this is the best possible ending to the story, in large part because Guts demonstrating his love for Griffith is what was been set up to unburden both of them from their current armours (see: Femto) of imprisonment and their respective “shackles” of hatred.
(Chapter 202, “Magic Stone”)
Now, on a character level I think it would be overly simplistic to say that the story is telling us that Guts will forgive Griffith. I think both characters too far gone for simple forgiveness between the two of them, I don’t think that was ever a realistic outcome to their story.
What they need instead is shared understanding and a shared declaration of love to help them realize who they are as people (loved and worth loving). That's why I think the Jill/Rosine parallel works so well, because it only needs to be an irrational action on Guts’s part (like throwing himself in front of Griffith to protect him) as a definitive expression about what Guts wants to do, outside of his usual waffling as well as any obligations or duties he might feel. A sacrifice by Guts would be a simple action, one taken because of him following his heart.
Guts making a genuine sacrifice for his “other half,” to save him, to finally know himself and know another person, creating a deeply honest a connection through an expression of love… tell me that’s not a perfect conclusion to a story about trauma and its devastating impacts on people and their relationships with each other.
Because I think it’s clear that the idea of not being able to truly hate Griffith is just as relevant to Guts as it is to Rickert:
(Chapter 336, “Pandemonium”)
Guts says this to Rickert while looking sad, not angry. Maybe, just maybe, Guts is aware of his own feelings on the matter too. Perhaps he's as much speaking aloud as to himself here.
The wrench in Guts’ desire for that all-consuming hatred is, of course, that residual love he feels, the structural equivalent to Griffith’s own bthumping heart. In that light, that love could very well make Guts do something spontaneous and irrational, essentially bursting through his own darkness to definitively break the hold of the hatred that’s shackling him. Especially if he somehow comes to understand the pain and love that Griffith is still feeling too.
Now to be clear, I don’t think forgiveness necessarily needs to come into the equation here, and I think it’s psychologically reductive to say that Guts can overcome his trauma this way. I think those wounds run too deep, but conversely I think that his love does too. Basically I think the resolution to their arc absolutely could and should have remained messy as fuck. An act of love born from a crippling wound is as honest as it gets for these characters.
Now, the narrative explicitly tells us after it declares that Guts is shackling himself to hatred through his sword, that that the way Guts will go about this unburdening/unshackling of his hatred is through Casca, by taking up the sword for her sake as a “protection against hellfire” AKA as a protection against his own hatred:
(Chapter 203, “Elementals”)
But we see repeatedly that this is simply a “path [he’s] chosen,” not necessarily the only path or, indeed, necessarily the correct one. In fact, we see that this path is not actually succeeding at protecting him or Casca from anything. And that’s because when we look at Guts’s actions, he isn’t actually working to protect himself from his own hatred, because he can’t help but be reminded of his own trauma as a result of Casca’s trauma:
(Chapter 287, “Bubbles of Futility”)
“At the end, it’s always.” Trauma lies at the end of this road named Casca. And I think that’s because Casca is no longer really an independent person to him; she is a symbol, a burden, and a force that keeps The Struggle alive; she’s a means, not an end in itself. At the end, instead, it’s always that wound, and purposefully so. (And this interpretation is of course aided by her being a veritable doll throughout the majority of the rest of the story).
The Struggle and Casca herself aren’t presented as what Guts objectively wants as an end consequence of his actions – they are presented as the means towards something else.
The story drills into us the idea that this goal of restoring Casca is based on neither a positive and altruistic motive on Guts’ part, nor is it something that’s destined for jolly good things. See: the ominous foreshadowing with “The power to protect someone and the power to be with someone are different,” “fixing” Casca despite her own wishes, and Casca also seeing Guts as a monster from the Eclipse in her own right. In this light, I think it’s very appropriate that Casca views Guts in exactly the same way:
(Chapter 359, “A Wall”)
The “path [he’s] chosen” – The Struggle, the burden, the guilt, or everything that Casca is to him – isn’t good for Guts. It’s a path shackled, and it’s one that makes his sword heavy with guilt, anger, and hatred.
(Chapter 188, “Winter Journey Part 2”)
But we’re told that this isn’t a path that’s been set in stone (re: “those children are not bound to choose the same paths you and I did”). Guts has the power to choose differently than continuing to fight as a sword.
To sum up, I read Guts as explicitly thinking of Casca as a duty/chain/burden rather than as something personally fulfilling or as a genuine escape from his hatred. At the end, it’s always. And that’s why the conclusion to his story, at least imo, should lie somewhere else.
(And sidenote, this dynamic between duty and desire (giri and ninjō) is a huge part of the Japanese cultural (literary, dramatic, and cinematic) tradition, and I think it’s pretty clearly at play here, where Casca represents duty, Griffith represents desire).
To me, this is the whole point of Guts still being “bound” to Griffith, because in his heart of hearts, he still wants to be, because can’t ever truly hate Griffith, because he’ll always love him/be in love with him. And accordingly, any act Guts takes for Griffith at the end of the story will not happen because he feels obligated or burdened, like he does with Casca, but because on some level he genuinely wants to embrace love and be free of the burden of his Struggle and hatred.
~~
Small tangent on Guts: the question of what Guts actually wants is obviously crucial to the story, he’s the protagonist after all. But what does he want? To save Casca? Well, he did his part there. What now? To live with Casca? Continue The Struggle? To kill Griffith? Honestly, this question is actually really fucking ambiguous, which is kind of shocking for a protagonist (supposedly) three-quarters of the way through his story. (My headcanon reason for this ambiguity is that Miura wanted to maintain plausible deniability that this story is gay AF, which is also the reason behind Griffith’s motivations being so ambiguous as well).
To make this question a bit more abstract, if Guts was free to do whatever he wanted – as in, if he didn’t feel obligated to do what he’s supposed to – what would he do? If we can’t answer that question, I think we can’t truly understand Guts as a character.
My own answer to this question lies in reading those moments we see him as a caretaker as the most genuine senses of who Guts is as a person.
(Chapter 1, “The Golden Age”)
Those desperate moments of grabbing his mother’s hand as well as him trying to return the flower spirit to its home are the moments I think he is acting in line with the person he genuinely wants to be outside of any expectations of what he thinks he’s good at or what he’s “supposed” to be, or in terms of obligations in trying to impress someone or doing what he thinks is expected of him… He just does these things instinctively, because I think fundamentally he’s a loving person who essentially just wants to be loved back.
These moments are especially important to highlight I think, because in these moments Guts has no external motivating factors. He is a child who loves his mother, who wants to reassure her and be reassured in turn; he is a young man who wants to repay an act of kindness out of genuine good heartedness.
I will submit also the following, as a pretty clear crystallization of what Guts is about:
(Chapter 33, “One Snowy Night”)
If he ended up sacrificing his life for Griffith at the story’s conclusion, it would be exactly in line with this same impulse: to love and be loved. This is what has always, at least imo, defined Guts beneath all the shame, and rage, and guilt, and shackles of duty, and his feelings of inadequacy.
In becoming Griffith’s shield, he wouldn’t be protecting him through his sword, he would be saving him through an act of love.
~~
And OK, what I see as the smoking gun for this weird little theory comes from this very innocuous page from a random, seemingly unrelated story thread and chapter.
(Chapter 206, “Troll Raid”)
This page is framed in such an aesthetically significant way – a full page spread given to such a small line, like why unless it’s about more than some random townspeople.
The key that saves us lies in those we are trying to forget.
Guts has been trying to forget Griffith, to move on, for basically half of the story – this line very easily could be read as directly commenting on Guts’ journey and his inability to unburden himself.
BUT this line goes further – it’s not only suggesting that Guts trying to forget his past is not a good thing, it’s also suggesting that Guts needs to be saved somehow, and that it can happen through the one he’s “trying to forget.”
What does Guts need to be saved from? Well, from the burden of The Struggle, from berserking, from his sword, his regret, his hatred. And how can he do this through Griffith? By giving his love/life to him, as a shield instead of as a sword… It’s just too perfect!@!
So yeah, while this is all entirely wishful thinking, I also don’t think Guts sacrificing his life for Griffith is totally unreasonable or “out there” spec – I do legitimately see this as a once-possible and honestly pretty perfect ending to the story. So that’s what I’m fucking going with, goddammit.
Part 4, Conclusions
Imo Guts making a sacrifice for Griffith would be the most important theme Berserk could ultimately endorse – because, in my reading at least, Griffith has entirely defined his choices around the belief that he does not deserve absolution (reminder: I think he ultimately made the sacrifice because the Godhand convinced him there was no coming back from what he already was, and so as a result he doubles down on that belief by agreeing to the sacrifice). For someone who believes that he isn’t worthy of love to be loved nonetheless, outside of those cycles of worth, exchange, and self loathing that he is so bound within, that would be a pretty damn powerful message. And for a character who is defined by his trauma to decide that love is ultimately more important? That's what I want from this story.
And as I noted above, on a character level, I can absolutely buy that Guts would make a sacrifice for Griffith, because I read this as being in line with Guts’s most fundamental desires as a person, and because I think Guts feels personally responsible for what happened to Griffith and still desperately wants to right that wrong, he just doesn’t know how to do so.
However, on a broader narrative level, I think this is more difficult to make a case for because to a lot of readers Griffith seems beyond redemption.
And honestly I think if Miura had wanted to do a classic redemption arc, where Griffith comes to realize that he regrets his original decision to make the sacrifice (as in a reading where he chose the dream and has now come to be dissatisfied with his current situation), this arc would have started long ago and it would have been made abundantly clear to readers.
If Miura had been gearing up for Griffith to come to realize that he did the wrong thing and eventually at the end of the story planned to have him take another action on Guts’s behalf to redeem himself, I think for a turn like this to work effectively, his emotional state wouldn’t still be so ambiguous to us – Miura would have been showing us his incremental but explicit realizations that this is not in fact what he wants in order to get us to root for his redemption. If Miura was in fact headed in that direction, it just seems like it was too little too late at this point.
OTOH, though, if Griffith already knows what he did was wrong, as with my reading, then the thing he needs to come to understand in order to be redeemed isn’t that he made the wrong choice, it’s that he doesn’t have to hate himself. And for that, he needs to be told that he is loveable, and indeed, is and was loved even at his most despicable. It’s Guts’s love he needs, narratively and emotionally, and such a realization could come right at the very end of the story, no build up on Griff’s end necessary.
To put this in slightly different terms, Griffith’s redemption involves him coming to realize that the sacrifice was the wrong choice, but not because he realizes he never actually wanted the dream after all, but because he comes to realize that he never had to punish and hate himself for all his prior actions, because he was loved all along – that his sacrifice/act of suicide was wrong because it was never “necessary” in the first place.
Basically, whether he’s chosen the dream or the sacrifice yields different stakes for Griffith’s redemption – they hinge on fundamentally different things, and I don’t buy that the first one was possible given post-GA characterizations, but the second seems not only possible but necessary to bring this interpretation of the story to a satisfying resolution.
And I think there are different scales of redemption that are possible to admit here. But I do think both Guts and Griffith need some sort of redemption for the story overall to be satisfying – they’ve both done atrocious things, but the story has also expressly shown us that neither of them are a lost cause.
Both are still fundamentally broken, vulnerable, and fragile people; especially because both still need each other, after all, they’re both still in love with each other. This isn’t the characterization of people who are fundamentally beyond some kind of redemptive final act(s). It also helps that Griffith is basically treated as a deuteragonist post-Conviction Arc.
And ultimately I think Miura has shown us that this is a state that the apostles/“monsters” of the story all have in common. I’m thinking here of this moment we see at the very beginning of the story:
(Chapter 4, “Guardians of Desire”)
As Puck says here, apostles are very much still fragile humans. The most fragile, in fact. Their deformed bodies are proof of their having broken themselves. The clearest demonstration of this is of course Griffith, who as an apostle became what he always hated. These are “fallen” people, unloved, hiding from themselves and from the world. If that’s not someone who is in need of mercy and redemption, I don’t know who is.
As to whether both Guts and Griffith still need to “pay,” narratively and morally, for their actions, this is not something I have a strong personal opinion about – I think both of them have already suffered hugely. That being said, I do think a second sacrifice narratively should lead to both of their deaths at the end of the story. That’s for two reasons, one because I think they both would both probably view death as a release more than anything, and two because it would function as the narrative consequence for their actions, especially if they were to get taken out by Apostle!Casca, who has also suffered hugely at the hands of both of these men.
Death would be what finally frees both Guts and Griffith from their pretty fucking miserable/doomed lives and would finally provide them some kind of peace as well as self-actualization – in that sense Casca’s actions could be read in the mode of both mercy and vengeance. So that’s why I lean in that direction, but then again I’ve always been more interested in mercy/forgiveness/redemption as story tropes than revenge/punishment, though I think the story was set up to be able to balance both in a really interesting way.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my senseless ramblings. If I had my druthers this is how the story would have ended, and I guess it gets to live in my headcanon forever, and maybe yours too if you like my interpretation of the story.
Sorry for any of you who were waiting for another post from me – the news of Miura’s death really kept me from thinking about Berserk for a while, for obvious reasons. But the story is what we make of it, especially now, so I hope this maybe gave you a bit of solace too.
As always, feedback, discussion, etc. is welcome.
#since it's all fanon now i figured why not throw my hat in the ring#yes im hating the continuation series#also I've been sitting on this post for literal years#how did that happen seriously wtf#this post has been about gay stuff#as per usual#berserk#berserkmeta#berserk meta#griffith#griffith meta#and even some#guts meta#!!!#im really branching out
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Ok but getting fucked by both griffith and femto is my big fantasy.
They are things that only griffith can provoke
Both have slightly different ways of having sex. Femto is robotic and his expression doesn't change, while Griffith is loving and praises you, though he can get rough.
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Femto nsfw hcs please! This boi needs more love~♡
ALRIGHT, SO. THIS IS NSFW BUT I’M NOT GOING TO TAG IT AS SUCH BC IF I DO THEN IT DOESN’T SHOW UP SOMETIMES? IDK. CAN I USE THE WORD NSFW? IDK.
Warning for uh, pretty rough sex and abuse.
Also sorry if this sucks i’m trying to get into writing again askdhaskd
NSFW!
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-You will be pretty much a little pet to him. And the only thing he always lets you wear is a simple collar, and nothing else. Not that you should really worry about since most of the time you are in the God Hand realm, wherever that is.
-Femto is going to fuck you even if there are other members of the God Hand watching you. Actually, that may work him up even more.
-And he is going to let other members fuck you too from time to time. Especially Slan.
-He really enjoys hurting you while having sex. Be it scratches or bites, he makes sure that you end up bleeding by the time you are done. And honestly your sanity is so far gone that you end up enjoying it.
-Most of the time he is silent during the act. He is also very inexpressive, only giving you a cold, unblinking stare while he fucks you into oblivion.
-The times where you feel more scared is when he softly runs his long, sharp claws over your skin. You are so used to him using you as his ragdoll that the few times he is being soft you will end up crying out of despair.
-Different parts of your body are often marked with dark-lipstick kisses.
-Even though your sense of time is already screwed, you could sweat that Femto fucks you almost every hour. You feel so sore and hurt that your only option that you have for it to finish quicker is trying to enjoy the pain.
-And if you show that you are actually feeling pain, oh boy. His glare would be 100 times more intense and he is going to fuck you even harder until your throat is sore from screaming.
-Sometimes, after he is done, you could swear you see a hint of the old Griffith on Femto’s stare, his eyes having a gentle, almost pitiful glow to them before they are back to normal. Or maybe it was just your imagination.
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-Lettuce
#requests#berserk requests#Berserk headcanons#berserk imagines#berserk#femto#griffith#berserk griffith#berserk femto#femto x reader#griffith x reader#berserk x reader#reader insert
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𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐭𝐨…
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ minors dni, fem!reader ( suggested band of the hawk!reader ), mentions of the eclipse, femto headcanons, blood and injury mention, suggested stockholm syndrome, we kissie the birb, all characters featured are aged 18+
𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ i’m sick today and i want him. badly. but i also want him to carry me around like an action figure in his hands lmao. please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3
kissing femto is nothing like kissing griffith, and you’ve come to accept this.
he looms over you, a hulking, daunting demon, and not even if you could stand on your tippy toes, could you reach his lips. so, when he wants a kiss, he’ll have to pick you up or crouch to your level ( he prefers the former ). at first, it was by your chest plate, until he stripped you of your armor and defenses. and then, it was by the bloodied, white blouse of yours, until his claws shredded the fabric into nothing. now, his large and inky wings will envelop you, and sweep you off your feet into a dark, warm cocoon where only you and him exist in a close, abysmal caress. it gives you respite from the constant harassment of monsters’ jaws snapping, taunting you into remembering the slaughter of your crewmates.
you fit just perfectly in the cradle his wings create, and it allows his hands the freedom he craves to caress you. sharpened claws nip and tear at your delicate flesh, and there’s nothing that either you— nor he— can do about it. not that he would if he could. but the wounds are thin. blood still beads to the surface of some of them, and the others redden and leave your skin perpetually warmed and stinging.
unlike griffith, femto holds not an ounce of tenderness. he doesn’t feel concern or the need to be gentle, not even with a creature so much smaller and more delicate than he, so when he kisses you, he does it forcefully. crimson lips that crash against yours, hold them hostage in a hot and passionate lock. a powerful tongue, bigger and stronger than yours, batters its way through the seal of your lips, fills your cavern in an instant, and explores every inch of it. even rolling itself over your smaller, weaker tongue, leaving his taste everywhere it claims.
his blood-red eyes remain open for the duration of each and every kiss, staring down at his little, human companion, watching the way you react. though you used to attempt to recoil from his kisses, or cry, or beg breathlessly to be released, you no longer do those things. now, you cling to him. your head tilts and your mouth opens more willingly. soft, almost happy whines are transferred into his mouth.
he would kiss you forever if you didn’t need to breathe, but when you start to feel yourself slipping, your fragile little hands reach up to his chest, and push with all your might. though you could never push him away, he can feel every ounce of your human strength attempting, and more often than not he will break the kiss so you can breathe. allowing his lips to hover inches from yours as you sputter and pant. your lips are swollen, aching, and glossy with his saliva.
femto’s eyes are always harsh and unblinking, and when you peek up at him, chest heaving, eyelashes fanning, and lips parted, he takes the hint.
and kisses you again.
#femto x reader#femto x you#femto#femto berserk#berserk#berserk x reader#berserk x you#berserk imagine#femto imagine#femto headcanons#berserk headcanons
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ℌ𝔲𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 .
featuring + contains ;; — griffith x fem! reader, angst, spoilers for those who have only seen the golden age arc, light cursing, overthinking
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⋆*･ﾟ: :✧*⋆ ･ﾟ
you weren't sure what you were doing. after surviving the events of the eclipse, you lost sight of your path in life. you only ever had one goal, to survive and get by, using a way that made you happy. it was going so well too, until he had to just ruin it all for his own selfish and pitiful dream.
when he had opened up to you about his goal, you supported him, having no doubt in his abilities, but you wish someone had told you about the lengths he was willing to go to in order to achieve it.
you had come so far, you rebuilt your life and carved out your own path in a desperate search for meaning, yet finding none so far. how could you, when you had a constant reminder of that wretched day carved onto your body? but you were slightly thankful, as it attracted the most curious people to you. some with a knack for magic, some with great natural abilities, and some just talented warriors.
you were now the leader of your own band, a mix of both men and women united to try find what you yourself wish to stumble across, a new and pure meaning to your lives.
and they were sure it lay inside of you.
you were such a peculiar woman. so stoic and blank faced, yet so caring and protective. you always seemed emerged in your thoughts, off in a total daydream even whilst fighting as you got it over with within a few strokes, the look on your face always so distant. but the smarter people within the band noticed your occasional mischievous and playful attitude that you had stored away for so long.
you loved every person in your band, and they all loved you.
but you were so scared.
you were scared that there would be a repeat of the band of the hawk, you were scared that you would fail everyone you lead, you were scared that the meaning they thought they saw within you was nothing but a bunch of lies you had subconsciously believed them into thinking.
you were scared you were only leading them for your own need for meaning.
you were scared you were like griffith.
you missed everyone so much, every single one of them. except griffith.
yes, there was a mutual feeling of love between the two of you, but thinking about such a feeling being related to a man like griffith after the horrors you had seen, it just left you with a bitter taste in your mouth.
you just wanted to distract yourself, give yourself a chance to move on. you knew you shouldn't linger in the past, but you just couldn't do anything except do so. many noticed your constant alert state, worrying for you as you dismissed their concerns.
yes, you may have become more boring in your own eyes, but you were everyone elses safe place.
you sat on a tree stump as one of the children that travelled alongside your band sat on the ground in front of you, you hummed a tune as you brushed through the recently washed hair, making sure to not leave any knots.
right as you finished parting the childs hair down the middle, you got up as the kid did the same. you stared down at him for a moment as he looked at you nervously, unsure of why you were looking at him so intensely.
you let out a huff of fond laughter as you ruffled his hair, startling him as he yelled, " hey, what was that for- "
he was cut off as a dark haired man with blue eyes and a beauty mark above the corner of his lip walked towards you, dressed in full armour, " i heard a band marching this way, they are a few hours away. they're armed, and there's many of them. war demons, apostles, humans and the sort. " he states as your lips form a thin line, you nod, " alright, thank you, sergius. we will reach them before they reach us, tell the others to get their weaponry and armour ready. " you order as he smiles.
he truly did have incredible hearing.
" already been done. " he says proudly as you're face remains nonchalant, yet your eyes are a different story. " alright, ill issue orders once im ready. " you say as he nods, leaving.
the children that weren't yet trained enough to fight were still on the battlefield, yet they would instead observe the battle in order to polish their abilities and understanding further. you pay no mind to the young child staring at you with admiration as you get yourself geared up and ready for a battle.
you ride your horse to face the rows of warriors, each in their own suit of armoury and equipped with their weapons. you raise your sword into the air, " we are one. each of you is me and i am each of you. man, woman or child, when we are united, i will be unable to go down defeated. " you say as you lower your tone, " i refuse to lose my family once more. "
this leaves them confused, as they had never known much of you. not where you came from, how you created the band, why you were so distant, your past, your swordsman ship, none of it. you were a private person, always carefully crafting your words. they didn't want to pry either in case of making you uncomfortable, but they still tried to care for and comfort you, and that was so much more than you thought you deserved, simply scaring you further.
but this was the first time you ever truly said how you saw them and what they really were to you, and it encouraged them more than anything else ever would.
multiple roaring cheers were heard as you turned your horse, leading the way as sergius, a mage and the second best warrior in the band, second to you, close behind. you could hear and almost feel the happiness your band felt from your words behind you as you regretted not saying it quieter, or even letting the words slip at all. but the three behind you noticed the tinge of red on the tips of your ears.
you had been riding for hours, sergius directing you towards the marching band. you had been riding on a cliff, about to go down it as sergius stops you, " let's stay here, they're coming up as we speak. " he warns as you nod, the warriors ready with their weapons as the mage readied his celestial body and the second best warrior slid an arrow through her bow.
you had not unsheathed your weapon, patiently waiting for the band as you ordered, " do not attack until i tell you to. a cliff is not an ideal location for battle. " you said as the warriors held their breath in anticipation.
you felt the slight rumble of the ground as the army approached, a white stallion with a person in full white armoury riding it and leading the warriors. you had no intention to fight as you had only decided to ride out to see what the band was looking for, and if it was battle, so that they would not raid the area your band resided.
you unclipped your helmet as your hair fell around your shoulders. after the eclipse, you had stopped caring so much about being a female warrior and pretending to be a man like you did in your past band. you embraced your femininity, many deciding to secretly nickname you the " Goddess of War " whilst on the battlefield.
your like of sight reached the flag, you eyes widening at the familiar symbol, feeling the symbol on your abdomen become wet with blood seeping out of its lines engraved in your skin along. realisation hits as your memories flood into you, eyes glued to the man now taking off his own helmet, blue eyes staring at you in nearly as much shock as your e/c eyes, piercing into him.
your grip on your helmet tightens, " griffith. how sweet of you to visit me again. " you spit out, forcing a fake smile on your face as your eyes don't reflect it.
" y/n. " he murmurs as the shock leaves his eyes, both of you staring the other down. the woman at your side whispering, " should i shoot him down? im at a good angle. " she says as you shake your head, you gaze still fixed on the male as you say, loudly and clearly, " no. i wont let him die unless its with my own hands, is that clear? "
" so you do resent me still? " he asks nonchalantly, yet the tinge of sadness doesn't get past sonia. she's never felt this type of feeling radiate from griffith, it felt so strange, so bittersweet.
" am i not allowed to resent the man who ruined my life for his own childish dream? " you asked as he tensed, remembering how you had gone from supporting his dream to calling it childish, " but are you able to call it childish when it's coming to light? " he asks back.
" .. light, huh? they call you the hawk of light now, don't they? you used to be called the white hawk, weren't you? either way, they aren't fitting. you're no hawk of light, you're no white hawk, and you're no hero. you may have fooled those in your band, but do they know? about you? about your sins? about how you throw away those you've used until you no longer see any use for them? " you laugh.
" what is your point? " he asks sharply, making you snicker, " guess you've become a bit impatient. but do you want to know my point? " you ask.
" its to rob you of everything you worked so hard for. "
your smirk remains as both bands stare at the two of you, the new band of the hawk wondering if anyone had ever dared speak to griffith of all people that way, a mix of awe and disbelief among them, whereas your own band was unsure of what to do.
you hate him, that much they were sure of, so should they attack? but you hadn't told them to, but how could they allow their precious leader to smile so bitterly?
" .. everything I've worked for? " he repeats to himself, " you're too hung up on revenge, y/n. you, yourself have come far. you're own band of strong warriors, your name heard on the battlefield, hate me if you must, but nothing will stop me from accomplishing my dream. "
this makes you let out a giggle, then another, and another, until your heads thrown back and your hands raking through your hair as you laugh in his face.
" nothing? nothing? are you sure? you couldn't outsmart me when we were in the original band together, you never could. dont tell me that you think you're stronger than me all of a sudden just because you pathetically got yourself captured and tortured! if it wasn't for that damn amulet, you wouldn't be here. you only gave up your flesh for a year and sprouted wings, don't make me laugh, griffith. "
you spread out your arms, " this all belongs to me! those mountains, this land, everything. its all mine. " you say.
griffiths face was so priceless, he wasn't used to being talked to like this, he wasn't used to not understanding someones words.
" and im only a mere human. you may be the fifth member of the damn god hand, but you haven't got shit on me. " you emphasise as his band becomes rowdy, ready to charge yet his raises a hand, stopping them.
a man with curly black hair steps forward, " what gives you authority to speak in such a way? " his dark eyes bore into yours as you didn't take him seriously, giddy on adrenaline as your eyes mocked him, " you want to know why? it's because- "
your cut off when a young girl with blonde hair yells at you, " what do you know? griffiths a great leader, hes accomplished so much! he makes everyone happy and united apostles and humans, you dont hold a candle to him! " she defends griffith as a young man begins to freak out at her words.
griffith turns to her, about to tell her to calm down when you speak before him, " you look up to griffith, don't you? " you ask her as she nods enthusiastically, " what's your name? " you ask before griffth cuts you off, " you're business is with me, not my band. " he says as you ignore him, repeating your question as she answers, " sonia. "
" sonia, do you know what he did to get to this point? " you asked as she didnt reply, giving you your answer. you got off of your horse as griffith did the same, you walked towards one another and as you were bare inches apart you said, " he sacrificed the band of the hawk. the true band of the hawk, the one i was a part of and loved so dearly. he forced me to watch the people i lead die, and it was all his doing. the only reason he's here is because he got himself the egg of the king, the behelit. he'd have been nothing without it and its power. " you emphasised the last few words more as you stared at him directly, quickly unsheathing your blade as you got him to the ground.
you stare down at him, your expression now completely different. instead of it being full of mockery, it was now more gentle, more bittersweet and knowing. the nostalgia of the way you looked at him nearly brought him to tears, remembering it as being the exact same look you would give him when you fought side by side and he'd open up to you in private.
" do you all know what makes me superior to each of you? " you ask softly, yet loud and clear.
" my humanity. "
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#berserk#griffith#guts#casca#griffith x reader#berserk x reader#kentaro miura#anime#manga#anime and manga#oneshot#griffith x female reader#berserk x female reader#berserk griffith#berserk golden age arc#berserk femto#berserk manga#berserk guts
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I HATE what Femto did to Casca(and everyone else) but sometimes I like to fantasize that it’s me he’s doing it to.
He's very sensual, it's not exactly "making love" but it's not "fucking" either, it's something in between. A cold but passionate thing, in his dead hearted state you managed to make a place in his life, so you are quite special, and in all of your special glory he will give you his "love" and you should be grateful he sees you as something special because nothing will ever harm you again.
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Could you do a fic where femto griffith is confronted by his so who is a mage and they brokenly ask him why he did what he did and if he was lying when he promised them that they would live happily together one day. Femto says that he did and asks them to be rule beside him.
Sorry this is short.
Hurt. That's all you could feel, you had run as far as you could after surviving the eclipse, but he still found you. Of course he found you, he once promised that if you ever got lost he would find you, never in your lifetime did you think those words would be so terrifying.
His very presence sent chills down your spine. It sickened you how he looked so angelic even after what he did. "Y-you... you said we would live happily together but you threw me and every one else to the side!" You cried. "I still want to live with you, I still love you y/n." He said softly.
"No! No, you don't love me, and I'm starting to think you never loved me!" You screamed and for some reason that hurt him. For some reason those words hurt more than any sword, he couldn't think of what to say, what could he say? You were far to irate to try to reason with, and even if you weren't he knew you wouldn't listen.
He really did have feelings for before and now, it was just that he dedicated everything to his dream, he sacrificed so many lives for his dream, and he even thought he sacrificed you for his dream. "I had gone too far to turn back. I didn't want the deaths of those who chose to follow me to be in vain." He could see the disbelief in your eyes, the eyes he loved to look into, that were now filled with hatred and fear.
"I don't care! I just can't care anymore!" You cried, slamming your fists on the floor, you felt so helpless, this man before you wast just shy of a god. He was no longer the Griffith you once loved, no, he was a man turned monster by his dream.
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