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thechekhov · 4 years

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Hi! I saw on a post that you're agender and I'm kinda questioning my gender (again) but what interested me more about that post was that you said you believe that gender is a social construct and I'm not really familiar with that theory. I was wondering if you could explain to me what the whole idea is? (bc I kinda only feel like a have a gender in social situations? In my head, my dreams and how I picture myself in the future, I'm genderless idjskahwksjejensj) Sorry for bothering you if I did.

This is a BIG topic and it opens a LOT of wormholes.

We’re gonna do this in pie slice statements that will hopefully help explain what I mean. Please keep in mind I’m going to simplify many things for the sake of readability.

1) What is a social construct?

Social constructs are ideas that are negotiated by social groups. Something being a social construct does not make it ‘not real’.

For example, money is a social construct. Yes, we have cash - coins, credit cards - but these are physical props that are REPRESENTATIVE of the idea of currency. You have some form of credit to your name - the money is a socially agreed-upon idea of value being represented by bills in your hand, by numbers in your bank account.

[Description: Two humanoid figures are standing side by side. The right-side figure is holding a rock in its hand.

Right side figure: Let’s agree that this shiny rock is worth 2 sheep.

Left side figure: Sounds fake but ok.]

Technically, countries are also social constructs. We, as a society, negotiate what a country is, and this can be changed.

[Description: Two figures are standing on either side of a dotted line drawn on the ground. The left figure is pointing down at it while the right figure watches, its arms crossed.

Left figure: Let’s pretend that everything on this side of the imaginary line is mine.

Right figure: ...ok but my house is over there.

Left figure: ... for 3 shiny rocks you can come visit.]

Does that mean canada isn’t real? No. (I mean, obviously canada ISN’T real, but we all agree to pretend it is.) The thing that makes it real is that we are in agreement, and all follow the social rules of pretend to make it seem like the Canadian border, the idea of Canadian citizenship, etc... is an objective fact. (It’s not. These are in fact, negotiable limits and parameters. We have laws in place to define it in legal terms, but those laws can be changed, or may change in the minds of communities. That’s why it’s a construct.)

By that same token, I hold the view that gender, as we largely perceive it in modern society, is a construct. Why? Because it is not inherent; we, as a society, negotiate its meaning.

2) What is gender?

People will probably fight me on this and that’s fine, but here’s my (simplified) understanding of gender (from someone who personally has none)

Gender is a social category negotiated by cultures based on your assigned or desired role in your community that influences, among many other things, your physical appearance, your role in family units, your expected position in jobs, etc.

How I think it happened:

[Description: Two figures are standing on either side of the panel, both holding children-looking figures. The one on the left is wearing purple. The one on the right is wearing green.

Green figure: Hey, I’ve got an idea. What if we separate the babies into two groups based on physical traits they have no control over?

Purple figure: Wh-- okay...?

Green figure: And then limit the jobs they can do and the community ritual involvement available to them based on that!

Purple figure: ... I feel like this is going to backfire on us someday.

Green figure: Nah, it’ll be fine.

The past panel is a dramatic closeup on the purple figure’s face - which is featureless - betraying a deeply doubtful emotion. It says nothing.]

Important points to remember: what gender looks like, what the limits are, what the expectations are... are not inherent to any human biology. We make up gender roles. This is evident in the fact that across the world, gender roles differ by culture. The positions people of a certain gender are allowed to take up are different. What is perceived to be ‘girly’ or ‘boyish’ is different across cultures.

Simply speaking - currently the (western) model we have, dumbed down, is:

You are assigned male at birth because of physical characteristics

You are raised being told to ‘toughen up’ and ‘boys don’t cry’ and encouraged not to show emotions

You are taught to wear male-coded clothes and discouraged from female-coded fashion choices

You are given more opportunities to participate in sports, encouraged to engage in physical activity, etc

You are not expected to need time off for child-rearing

Here’s where gender as it works in society breaks down into being not a real thing but instead something we thought up:

Nothing about having a penis necessitates wearing pants. Nothing about having XY chromosomes means you need to keep your hair short. Nothing about your genome makes the experience of nail-polish different for any human being.

All of these are arbitrary traits we decided were allowed or not allowed to a specific group of people based on entirely unrelated physiology.

Even if we delve deeper, there is MORE variation among individuals of the same ‘sex’ than there are, on average, of members of the ‘opposite sex’ when compared to each other.

Many people use the excuse ‘women are physically not as strong as men’ to say that this has an evolutionary aspect driving these cultural, historical, socially-constructed gender requirements.

But if there was a physical reasoning behind the culturally-set gender-limited job expectations, then we actually WOULDN’T need a traditional binary gender system to sort ourselves into categories. It would simply be decided as a meritocracy - stronger individuals, regardless of gender, would be given physically-demanding jobs. (Also we know that many jobs thought to be ‘traditionally male’ are just the result of sexist bullshit, so this reasoning doesn’t fly any further than I can throw it which is, coincidentally, not very far. Politics is one such area. Doctors are another. We can go on but I think you get my drift.)

My own example of this is an anecdote when my grandparents came to visit my partner and I in Japan. While we were driving down to Tokyo, my grandmother - who has a PhD in entomology - began to say that driving is a masculine activity and women shouldn’t be driving as it was ‘un-woman-like’. My partner almost immediately fired back that in Japan, studying insects or having any interest in them whatsoever was considered a heavily masculine-coded activity. In Russia, there is no such assignment, and my grandmother was left silently blinking in confusion, unable to come up with any excuse except ‘well, all cultures are different, I suppose...’

Do either of these things inherently have a gendered aspect? Of course not! But we assign gendered ideals to them anyway.

3) If gender is made up and constructed by society, then does that mean trans people aren’t real?

No.

Even if you agree that gender is a social construct, trans people are still real. TERFs don’t get a pass. Why?

Because gender - as a social construct - still affects our everyday lives, dictates our social position in our community. Transitioning is still a thing that has to happen. The fact that you are NOT easily able to decide your own gender and are ostracized for wanting to transition, abused for dressing the way you want to be perceived, and bullied for wanting people to refer to you with different pronouns - all those are the effects of a social construct that has very REAL impact on our lives.

This is also why I dislike defining trans-ness by dysphoria. Because transgender people are not only their suffering - the suffering is coming from the outside!! Many trans people remember not being concerned about their gender identity in their childhood, because they did not yet perceive the world as being hostile to their desire to fulfil a specific role in society. The issues and self-hatred and dysphoria begins when they express wanting to be themselves - a life which they are forbidden from pursuing based on physical characteristics they were born with.

Does this mean we should try to remove gender from society? If we constructed it, we can deconstruct it, right?

Realistically, I highly doubt this is possible. Gender is so ingrained in our daily lives that it would be difficult. Nor, I would say, would it be necessary to achieve world peace.

Having social groups - having gender - isn’t inherently a bad thing. The bad thing is when we limit those social groups to specific basic human rights, like voting, or when we forbid them from transitioning from one to another based on things that are out of their control.

Also, I’m not saying genitals and secondary sexual characteristics aren’t real. Please don’t bother sending me that angry message, I’ll ignore it, I promise.

But the concept of gender IS something we thought up and maintain and negotiate with each other to this very day. It’s not granted to us by a higher power, nor is it a constant, unchanging thing. It’s a part of the human experience and like everything, it has the potential to evolve - as a concept in our communal memory, as well as on an individual level, for people who feel they want to be perceived differently.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!

#hiimholalate #gender #agender #queer stuff #gender is a social construct #social construct #genderqueer #long post

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unseelie-siren · 5 years

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i'm not familiar with any of your ocs i'm sorry ;_; so how about a short introduction of all of them? i'd love to see that ♥️

I would love to! Sadly I have waaaaay too many ocs to cover all of them here. I do want to introduce you to some ocs of my main stories though!

I’ll do this under the cut

Please feel free to ask me about any of them anytime!

Well start with the story that has less main characters, only two. Their names are Jonathan and Derek.They’re typical high school jocks and play baseball!

Jonathan

…is called Jon by basically everyone. He is a bit of an asshole and he is definitely arrogant. He is intelligent and he is definitely aware of it. He knows what he is capable of and will take no shit from no one. He’s that person that speaks out against the racist teacher, he’s that person who lets everyone know his opinion. And he has a lot of opinions.He’s sweet, but rarely genuinely so. He’s very rational in his approach and that can lead to him being cold and calculating. He also is a major flirt.

Derek

…on the other hand is just a really soft teddy bear. He’s been childhood friends with Jon since he moved there. They live only a few streets away, it takes them only a few minutes to get to the others house. There’s a playground between their houses where they like to meet. He likes to just let Jon do the talking and be rather passive. He’s really supportive of him and will defend him fiercely. He’s the type of person that whenever Jon gets up to one of his shenigans (because Jon tends to be mischievous) just shakes his head at them, rolls his eyes and tells him exactly why it is a bad idea. He definitely tries to talk him out of it, but he never succeeds. There is usually a fond smile on his lips though and he secretly doesn’t mind playing along. But someone has to point out why that plan is a bad idea okay???

They’re the two protagonists for a ya novel I’m going to write. It’s going to be fluffy and short with maybe a bit angst I’m still undecided on the exact plot line. I do have basic sketches of them but only idea sketches. As soon as I have actual proper sketches of them I’m going to upload them on my art account ( @zhadyrart that is finally going to be more active hopefully)

Then I think I mentioned at some point that I have a really big project that I’ve been working on since seventh grade. It’s going to be a triology that is called “ragnarok”. It’s set in another dimension where simply said every mythological being and every god that there is exists. All my main characters are “Xi” which are people who have been blessed by gods. I could go on and on about this world and everything behind the Xi but that would take even longer.

Helija

…is the main character. shes human. She’s really sweet and strong but not really independent. She grew up with an abusive mother and without a father in the city of creators. Everyone there is destined to create something new and most people create smaller things. Helija hasn’t created anything yet which is unusual for her age. She is insecure in her abilities even tho she is not bad at most things. She’s rather held back and doesn’t speak much. This changes the more she gets involved with the other characters and establishes her relationships with them.

Sam

…is Helijas best friend and one of the fae. Those two are one heart and one soul and if you let them loose there is going to be a mess. Sam is Helijas enabler and he is one of the few people who actually can bring her out of her shell and can bring her to overcome her fears and anxiety. They have been friends since they turned six despite not meeting until they were sixteen. They exchanged letters because they lived in different parts of the continent. That was part of a program of their mentor ship (which I could also elaborate on) which encourages Xi to form connections with other Xi. He’s funny and kind of a go wild character. He’s always up for anything but definitely also always here for you if you have a problem. He’s stubborn and can be hot headed from time to time. But he just wants the best for everyone and cares like crazy for his friends and family.

Elahir

…is Sams best friend. They have been childhood friends since their birth. He’s also one of the fae. He’s kind of apathic or at least he seems like it. He’s very focused on his thoughts and tends to overthink. He is also extremely stubborn and will always follow his own moral code. If something doesn’t fit with his morals or beliefs he’s not going to do it, no matter what it does to him. Later on he’s going to be Sams boyfriend. He’s non binary and uses he/him and they/them pronouns.

Helena

…is your wonderful girl that you all love. She’s pretty (she and Helija look identical despite not being related) and just has a personality that everyone loves. She’s nice, genuinely so and she is very supportive. She has her shit together and if you need anything organised you go to her. She’s from the city of gods (again I could elaborate) and grew up without parents being taught to be humble. She is being trained to be a temple woman. She is basically your perfect girl™️.She does have a mischievous streak though and if you encourage her she will come up with the wildest things. Of course no one suspects her ever since she is well how she is.

Hector

…is basically the perfect boyfriend to the perfect girl Helena. There is looooots of pining for her but he’s such a respectful golden retriever puppy he never acts on it, especially since when they meet she just has gotten out of her last relationship. I’m basically aiming for a lesbian icon character lmao. Hes a real feminist and hes just super super sweet. He has all those thoughts about romance and love and he really is a true romantic. His and Helena’s relationship is fluff pure. Everyone is just really happy for them bc they really are just do perfect for each other. He grew up in a small fishermen village in a part of the continent (I do have a map but…) where it basically has a climate like in the arctis. He has zero clue about modern things and will be confused. He’s just really really soft and sweet and I love him.

Leanca

…is the girl that Helena just broke up with. They just hit it off after years of fr.iendship, but decided on good terms that it wasn’t working out. It kind of broke Helena’s heart bc she’s a romantic but it was better for their relationship. They are now really good ride or die friends. Leanca is Helena’s enabler. She’ll just be like “he looks like he’s sexist” in a deadpan voice and look at Helena. It doesn’t take long and shenigans ensue. She’s incredibly cool and kind of reeeeally fit. She doesn’t show much facial reactions. She has a flaming sense of justice and will argue with you. Don’t challenge her to a discussion. She will win. And she is right. You’ll question your entire beliefs after a while because wow her arguments make so much sense. Very independent, very strong.

Illaya/Ilaya (not sure yet)

…is an ancient being. She’s not really a god but she’s also not really human. (I don’t 100% know yet what she is actually.) she was the wife of uh well the now bad guy? Her mind has been tainted for hundreds of years and she turned into a mermaid like creature that lived in a lake. She grew sea lily like plants with which she lured beings into the lake where she would devour them. Some eldritch shit. When our protagonists “cleanse” her she returns to her old self and well realised that basically over thousands of years have passed since the land became tainted and she with it. She realises what her husband has become and mourns him. At some point she falls in love with Leanca. But a relationship doesn’t develop really fast because well she is still mourning over her husband and also she has a general crisis going on with all the stuff that has been going on.

Jack

…is a character from the feral lands. That’s basically another continent and not many people from there come over to the main continent. He came because he was “scouted” and saw a chance to help his family. He’s really motivated by family. He is laid back and cool. He takes things calm and rational. He’s good looking and that goddamn smirk. (He’s a little bit underdeveloped since he used to be a shared oc with my brother)

Olivia

…is Helena’s childhood friend. They grew up together in the city of gods. She’s a punk, she’s freaky and she is always here for all the energetic stuff. She’s great at getting people fired up, at motivating people, but she also is good at listening, even tho she doesn’t give the best advise lol. She gets together with Jack real fast. They just hit it off and run with it. Her hair is purple. She’s wild. (I’m also currently looking into adhd symptoms that she might have.)

There are also cosmic beings that are going to be very important to the story and several other characters but I decided to leave it at those because….. they are already a lot lmao. I’m drawing them so as soon as that happens they’ll be on my artblog.

I also decided to leave the characters of my third main project for now because four more characters. Feel free to ask about them though.

And thank you for this lovely ask!

#my ocs #ocs #writer #writing #books #ragnarok #jon(athan)#Derek #helija #Sam #Helena #Olivia #jack #elahir #leanca #ilaya #illaya #hector

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