I want to take advantage of you. I want to be the reason your shirts are fitting more snug, the reason your appetite has grown. I want to feign surprise when the number on the scale starts creeping up. I want to be the reason you give in. I promise I’ll make it worth it.

Confession: growing up, I was one of those baby feedists playing the Sims on the family computer and constantly just having them eat and gain weight

i’m very curious about nat and aiden! how did they meet and begin their relationship?

bear with me cause this is gonna be a long answer

so Nat and Aiden met at university, through some mutual friends. She was in the photography club and he was an arts major, so Nat ended up hanging out a lot around his department, despite being a marketing student. They instantly hit it off, Nat's very outgoing and funny which turned out to mix well with Aiden's more gentle demeanor.

Aiden was already dating Chris when they met Nat, and even though the two had already expressed interest in being poly, it was just an idea they threw around but had no real plans of committing to. Until they met Nat, who actually had some experience with polyamory. She knew Chris from a couple of classes when she met Aiden, for whom she quickly developed a crush. She'd flirt and tease and occasionally bring Aiden snacks because she liked how flustered it made him. Aiden and Chris end up having a talk and admit that they're both into her and would like to date her, if she's interested. Aiden's actually the one to make the first move and confess to her.

When the three got together to discuss their relationship and she found out they were also feedists, Nat felt like they were a match made in heaven. Aiden was also very excited at the prospect of having two feeders, obviously hahah

i have 500 different AUs, where they meet in 500 different ways but this is the canon story i suppose

The fact that you were able to share your kink with your partner and show him how hot feedism can be makes me so warm and fuzzy inside and hopeful for having that my own future partner. I'd love to hear more about how your relationship has grown alongside your body! And what it was like to initially tell him. Only if it's not too too nosy :)

Not too nosy at all! Honestly, it was terrifying at first. I was very lucky though, because I caught him using an emoji I knew belonged to a fat fetish artist. When I broached the topic at first, he told me he wasn't into feedism or even fat fetishism, but that the artist was a friend of his and he found the art visually appealing. He told me he wasn't bothered by my kinks and that if I wanted to look like some of the people his friend drew he'd be open to it. Fast forward to today, the boy regularly calls me tubby/piggy/fat boy, encourages me to indulge all my cravings, even stuffs me on occasion. He even told me recently how happy he is that I told him about my kinks and that I liked being fat, because he enjoys experimenting with me and seeing me happy - and he confessed he now prefers me fat. I think he also enjoys the caring aspect of feedism, getting to spoil me and see me comfy and happy. And the boy loves my fat belly almost as much as I do, he touches it every chance he can get. 🥰

I can't even begin to describe how healing it's been to find this safety with someone, after years of feeling like I'd never be able to be open about it. I wish for nothing less for all my fellow feedists. 💜

Honestly honey, reading your feedist fantasies posts & confessions is truly too tantalizingly enticing for words! It's a delight to share your gleefully vivacious bliss in at last discovering yourself as a pampered hedonistic piggy & finally embracing your unbridled gluttonous urges to their fullest! I eagerly hope that pursuing your gorgeously gratifying gainer cravings & indulging your fabulously fattening fancies brings you all the fulfilment validation & pure pleasure you dearly deserve!🐷💖

I feel so lucky that I get to live my hottest feedist dreams irl so it's my pleasure to share it all with you 💓

whats your favorite ofmd feedist fic?

oh no this is such a hard question ;-; i'm terrible at picking favourites, i'm notoriously bad at making any choices at all! umm. hmm.

marmalade will always hold a very special place in my heart without a doubt. the last chapter never went up but i distinctly remember really liking that fic.

office space was really fun, as i recall?

i love all of S's fics as they're a friend of mine and we often workshop ideas together and have lots of fun doing it.

the kraken drags down is fairly dark but i quite like it.

i also notably quite like cheat day.

they also have lots of other cute gentlebeard fics and steddyhands fics there. lots of fun and sexy little AUs that are lovely to read and so fun to ponder.

HUGE fan of nickkyslaughter's fics, too.

the reach out AU is one of my favourites currently. i genuinely really like all their works.

what do you do with a drunken kraken i've had bookmarked for ages

and i think entree was my favourite in the eat your feelings 'verse?

there's also some other really fun AUs they've written up on their account.

it's not completed yet but sweet routines has been my favourite read currently to keep updated with, partially because i started writing a very similar concept ages ago and never finished it and emerald_creeper is just doing a better job than i ever could have done, haha.

if you're here i'm presuming you're familiar with my fanfics too, but at the risk of being annoying I'll link them, too: here.

there's also a fic called indulgence that's quite popular among the feedist circles but i really must confess it's not strictly to my tastes at all. it's still hot though but i sort of stopped reading it several updates ago because i tend to prefer gaining less extreme and/or more mutual.

I feel like the act of being fed by someone is so vulnerable. You know those calories are going to change your body. You’re allowing yourself to be fattened by someone. You’re trusting them. You’ve willingly put yourself in such a vulnerable position. Maybe it’s not that deep but it feels like such a deep connection to me idk

Curious with K/S, once they eventually work it out, is their dynamic more feedist, weight gain kinky, fat admiration, all/none of the above? And how did they finally end up ~confessing their feelings~ to each other?

thanks!! so first, disclaimer: I don’t have binge-eating disorder but I do know people in recovery for it, have done a lot of reading on it, and am in recovery myself for disordered eating and body dysmorphic behaviors. so I don’t know firsthand how BED can intersect with feedism or how things would work with a feedist partner but I’m trying my best to handle it respectfully! (and if anyone DOES have experience with that intersection, I would love to hear about it!!)

under a cut bc of course this got long! cw for mentions of disordered eating/binge eating—

first, their feelings!

S identified their feelings for K way, way before K identified his. before hiatus/the onset of his eating disorder, even in touring shape, K was still thick — broad, stocky, a little soft in the middle — and S was always white-knuckling it through wardrobe changes and big post-show meals, trying not to give themself away every time K wore a snug t-shirt or packed in a couple of cheeseburgers and fries and a shake to make up for all the energy he’d burned jumping around onstage and then fell asleep on the bus with a hand still resting on his full belly. and probably even then S was trying to tamp down any feelings they had about wanting to be the one feeding K those big meals or the one rubbing his belly afterward. for a long time they were best friends and bandmates (which made hiatus doubly hard when they stopped speaking) and S hadn’t really figured out their gender or sexuality yet so while they did identify their feelings first, they also spent a lot of time quashing them down because whatever this was that they were feeling, it was DEFINITELY going to ruin EVERYTHING if it got out. (it was not their feelings that broke up the band! nobody could agree what direction they should go in or what their sound should be and also, they were all in the closet). but they were ALWAYS together, like there was absolutely frerard/peterick levels of fanfic going on about these two. everyone else knew it before they did! they almost kissed at a couple of parties in a haha-jk-unless kind of way before the band broke up, and they were always touching somehow, always playing with each other’s hair. K doesn’t know this until after the hiatus but S, who writes most of their music, almost always writes K’s bass part in direct counterpoint with their own violin part. they were in their own little world a lot of the time, they just got each other, and it broke both of them when they ended up on opposite sides of the band’s rift.

it took K a lot longer to figure out those feelings because (unbeknownst to him at the time) he’s asexual and demi-panromantic and he has a hard time differentiating friendship from romantic attraction. he does a lot of soul-searching during the hiatus once he begins his recovery and sits bolt upright in bed one night like “oh my god, I think I was in love with S.” and since they’re currently not speaking he tries to sort of just process that and get past it but then S texts him out of the blue while he’s licking his wounds at home with his parents and asks if maybe he’d be open to talking, and all those feelings come flooding right back like he’s 23 and living out of a tour bus and falling asleep tucked into his bunk with S wedged in beside him every night because S has trouble sleeping alone. fuck, he thinks. so that’s what those feelings were! they exchange a few texts back and forth of stilted small talk, how have you been, that’s a very long depressing story lmao, and they talk about maybe getting all five of them back together to talk things out, but little by little they also start texting about their days or stupid things they remember from years ago or things that make them think of each other.

K is very nervous the first time they see each other in person — not least because S is the person he used to be closest to in the world, but also because he’s fat now and nobody from his old life knows that. he’s 80, 90 pounds heavier than he used to be? and he is hyperaware that he doesn’t look like he used to and that it’s going to come as a shock. and like yes they are all different people now, they’ve all come out and come into their own, but K really feels like everyone else moved forward and leveled up while he was eating his weight in unhealthy coping mechanisms and crashing with his parents and attending his outpatient program every other day. (which of course isn’t true, they’ve all gone through their own shit as well, substance abuse or a disastrous solo career or what have you, but it’s not as immediately visible as getting fat.) everyone is definitely surprised but they’re all cool about it! they don’t make him feel weird about it and let him explain it at his own pace. but S is quietly losing their mind because like, as if seeing their former best friend/object of their much-sublimated affections again weren’t enough, how many fantasies have they had about K looking just like this?! how did this happen?! is it a good thing?! they need to know everything about this immediately so they can figure out the ethics of the impure thoughts this is kicking up. in the meantime they are constantly dying little deaths about the little dimples over K’s elbows and how sometimes his clothes pull around his plump belly or his soft upper arms.

they hang out a bit more, sometimes one on one, sometimes with the whole gang, before they all decide to be a band again. and it’s somewhere after that, as they’re working on new music and K and S are individually nursing their resurgence of feelings for each other and trying to feel each other out on making a move. K isn’t sure if he’s actually desirable like this or how to even communicate desire anyway and S isn’t sure how best to telegraph to K that they actually find him wildly desirable and always have and want to do something about it. they stumble around it until one night they’re working on a song just the two of them and K is riffing on an old song of theirs when S says, “I wrote that about you.” it’s classic pop-punk pining, the singer coming down hard on themself for not knowing how to make a move and missing chance after chance, and K is like … you what? maybe the world goes on moving in that moment but the two of them stop. “yeah. I mean, the gender had to be ambiguous because, you know …” S shrugs. “the industry,” they both say at the same time. K is mentally going through the lyrics and doing the math: long dark hair always tied back, check; brown eyes, check; the last name no one knows you use, check; on your couch after the afterparty, check. he sort of just thought that S had made up a person for these lyrics? it absolutely never occurred to him that they could be about HIM. so they talk about that, they tell each other about their respective identity journeys and kind of laugh about how the people on fanfiction.net saw this coming way before either of them did, and they move a little closer on the couch and sort of fall into each other. faces in shoulders, arms tangled, hands cautious, just on an apartment couch instead of a tour bus bunk. it feels like coming home.

eventually S gets the whole story of K’s weight gain, which obviously complicates things a lot because K is still working on his own relationship with it. he’s well into recovery and is some of the way there, but it’s a lot to think about on the precipice of putting his body back into the public eye, and S doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable by making a big deal about it. K is still in a place where at first he’s very apologetic about his body, sorry it takes up so much space and sorry it’s so heavy on top of you, sorry my stomach hurts all the time and sorry there’s not a lot of room in my lap. and it’s hard for him to believe at first that when S is like, “you don’t have to be sorry! I love your body, I think it’s gorgeous, I love your stretch marks and your belly and your thigh dimples and your stretched-out tattoos,” they actually mean it. to K those are things he can be okay with and at the very least not hate, but he doesn’t think of them (yet) as things someone would actively love. but after a while S figures it’s better to tell him about their kinks sooner rather than later, so they open that discussion and probably overdo it on assuring K that this isn’t the reason they’re attracted to him, it’s just sort of parallel, it’s kind of like a bonus!, like they really do love him for HIM and would love his body no matter what shape or size he was, and by the end of their spiel K is just kind of looking down at his belly like “people are into this? that’s a thing? huh.” the finer points take a bit more explaining and he has some cognitive dissonance around, like, his depression and his eating disorder brain tell him that his weight gain is bad because it represents his lack of self-control and his inability to cope and therefore it can’t possibly be attractive when it means he’s a failure. but S is saying … not that. that there is actually a framework where his fat is just fat and that’s attractive in and of itself. and that’s … radical, kind of?

so he’s open to exploring. they discuss the other pieces, like feeding and gaining and stuff, and overall I think they land mostly at fat admiration. K’s on antidepressants now so he’s aware/prepared for his weight to increase again, and it’s something he’s okay with S appreciating, but it’s not something he’s going to do intentionally. but he does really like the idea of body worship and admiration, even if it’s uncomfortable at first to put his body on display and let someone else touch and pay a lot of attention to the parts he keeps apologizing for. he likes the idea of having someone he loves and trusts reinforce nice things about his body so he can maybe get to a place someday where he fully believes them. but I could also see them playing with some food stuff sometimes, in a controlled kind of way. K misses the feeling of being full full, like not to the point of making himself sick or not being able to move, but the soft cottony kind of fullness where you feel warm and comfortable and satisfied. it’s hard to do that on his own because he doesn’t trust himself to know his own boundaries and not overdo it or hurt himself, but I could see him trusting S to do that with him. choosing food together beforehand and figuring out an amount that feels like enough to fill him up without going overboard, making an occasion of it so it feels like a treat rather than a coping mechanism. and S is a real caretaker so they’re very into making sure K feels comfortable and safe and taken care of the whole time. S is also anxious and attentive in equal measure so they check in a LOT to make sure that K is doing all right and doesn’t feel pressured or objectified. they have a list of different safewords for various kinds of stops or time-outs and K can honestly never remember all of them at any given time but he appreciates it nonetheless. it helps when he does actually put on weight from his meds or his clothes start getting snug to remember that it’s subjective and like, sure, he could feel bad about it, and it’s okay if that’s what happens, but instead of dwelling on those negative feelings, he could also show off to S that this shirt won’t stay down over his belly or he can’t get his jeans over his hips and watch them swoon over how hot he is and make a big fuss over how gaining weight from his meds is such a good thing because it means he’s taking care of his mental health and how radical it is to be happy and fat and how proud of him they are for coming this far.

they hang out a bit more, sometimes one on one, sometimes with the whole gang, before they all decide to be a band again. and it’s somewhere after that, as they’re working on new music and K and S are individually nursing their resurgence of feelings for each other and trying to feel each other out on making a move. K isn’t sure if he’s actually desirable like this or how to even communicate desire anyway and S isn’t sure how best to telegraph to K that they actually find him wildly desirable and always have and want to do something about it. they stumble around it until one night they’re working on a song just the two of them and K is riffing on an old song of theirs when S says, “I wrote that about you.” it’s classic pop-punk pining, the singer coming down hard on themself for not knowing how to make a move and missing chance after chance, and K is like … you what? maybe the world goes on moving in that moment but the two of them stop. “yeah. I mean, the gender had to be ambiguous because, you know …” S shrugs. “the industry,” they both say at the same time. K is mentally going through the lyrics and doing the math: long dark hair always tied back, check; brown eyes, check; the last name no one knows you use, check; on your couch after the afterparty, check. he sort of just thought that S had made up a person for these lyrics? it absolutely never occurred to him that they could be about HIM. so they talk about that, they tell each other about their respective identity journeys and kind of laugh about how the people on fanfiction.net saw this coming way before either of them did, and they move a little closer on the couch and sort of fall into each other. faces in shoulders, arms tangled, hands cautious, just on an apartment couch instead of a tour bus bunk. it feels like coming home.

eventually S gets the whole story of K’s weight gain, which obviously complicates things a lot because K is still working on his own relationship with it. he’s well into recovery and is some of the way there, but it’s a lot to think about on the precipice of putting his body back into the public eye, and S doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable by making a big deal about it. K is still in a place where at first he’s very apologetic about his body, sorry it takes up so much space and sorry it’s so heavy on top of you, sorry my stomach hurts all the time and sorry there’s not a lot of room in my lap. and it’s hard for him to believe at first that when S is like, “you don’t have to be sorry! I love your body, I think it’s gorgeous, I love your stretch marks and your belly and your thigh dimples and your stretched-out tattoos,” they actually mean it. to K those are things he can be okay with and at the very least not hate, but he doesn’t think of them (yet) as things someone would actively love. but after a while S figures it’s better to tell him about their kinks sooner rather than later, so they open that discussion and probably overdo it on assuring K that this isn’t the reason they’re attracted to him, it’s just sort of parallel, it’s kind of like a bonus!, like they really do love him for HIM and would love his body no matter what shape or size he was, and by the end of their spiel K is just kind of looking down at his belly like “people are into this? that’s a thing? huh.” the finer points take a bit more explaining and he has some cognitive dissonance around, like, his depression and his eating disorder brain tell him that his weight gain is bad because it represents his lack of self-control and his inability to cope and therefore it can’t possibly be attractive when it means he’s a failure. but S is saying … not that. that there is actually a framework where his fat is just fat and that’s attractive in and of itself. and that’s … radical, kind of?

so he’s open to exploring. they discuss the other pieces, like feeding and gaining and stuff, and overall I think they land mostly at fat admiration. K’s on antidepressants now so he’s aware/prepared for his weight to increase again, and it’s something he’s okay with S appreciating, but it’s not something he’s going to do intentionally. but he does really like the idea of body worship and admiration, even if it’s uncomfortable at first to put his body on display and let someone else touch and pay a lot of attention to the parts he keeps apologizing for. he likes the idea of having someone he loves and trusts reinforce nice things about his body so he can maybe get to a place someday where he fully believes them. but I could also see them playing with some food stuff sometimes, in a controlled kind of way. K misses the feeling of being full full, like not to the point of making himself sick or not being able to move, but the soft cottony kind of fullness where you feel warm and comfortable and satisfied. it’s hard to do that on his own because he doesn’t trust himself to know his own boundaries and not overdo it or hurt himself, but I could see him trusting S to do that with him. choosing food together beforehand and figuring out an amount that feels like enough to fill him up without going overboard, making an occasion of it so it feels like a treat rather than a coping mechanism. and S is a real caretaker so they’re very into making sure K feels comfortable and safe and taken care of the whole time. S is also anxious and attentive in equal measure so they check in a LOT to make sure that K is doing all right and doesn’t feel pressured or objectified. they have a list of different safewords for various kinds of stops or time-outs and K can honestly never remember all of them at any given time but he appreciates it nonetheless. it helps when he does actually put on weight from his meds or his clothes start getting snug to remember that weight is subjective and like, sure, he could feel bad about it, and it’s okay if that’s what happens, but instead of dwelling on those negative feelings, he could also show off to S that this shirt won’t stay down over his belly or he can’t get his jeans over his hips and watch them swoon over how hot he is and make a big fuss over how gaining weight from his meds is such a good thing because it means he’s taking care of his mental health and how radical it is to be happy and fat and how proud of him they are for coming this far.

Hrmm...

I'm bored, it's tuesday, and while I got plenty of eggs to cook (got 3 dozen for under $2, woulda got more if I knew I was gonna be getting that discount, haha), I'm not quite in an egg-over-stuffing kinda mood... Rice omelette sounds like a good idea for later, though...

Send me some asks! Get to know me better, get to know my characters better, confess your silly, secret, feedist desires that you want to do to me, have done to me, or want done to yourself but wouldn't mind having me try it out first, hehehe. ~w~

Anon available for the shy, ko-fi available for the suspiciously wealthy who wanna say they added to my hopefully-growing heft, hehehe. ~w~

“Health-risk Deniers and Enablers: a QUESTION”

What do you prefer? The fetishist who demands you saw off their gangrenous foot with a rusty bonesaw five minutes after you hand him a coke, i.e., the demanding, maniacally decadent death-feedist? Or, the complacently easygoing exjock who says he can skip another checkup because all his bros do the same?

I confess I prefer the latter. The constant whines of “when is this gonna kill me, whennnn? Oooh i cant waiiiiiit!” leave me cold.

Do, please comment.