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dandelions-143 · 5 days

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This Love

Part 2 of Who’s Gonna to Hold You Like Me? Nofuckinbody!

Likes and Reblogs are highly appreciated

You can find Part 1 here

Other works: Masterlist

Pairing: Idol Changbin x f!reader

Warnings: cussing, heartbreak, smut, oral (f receiving) fingering, squirting, eludes to curvy/plus size f!reader. let me know if I forgot anything. The warnings are minimal.

Summary: Changbin has realized his feelings for you but, is it too late? Can you forgive him? Or has your relationship been torn apart too much… is it irreparable? Keep reading to find out

It had been nearly a month since the incident at the beach. Changbin didn’t contact you at first. For an entire week after your fight he left you alone. Which hurt incredibly. How could he not want to speak to you.. yes, you told him not to contact you but, wouldn’t he feel the need to try? It hurt you even more but, it also made your resolve more firm.

He now knew what you wanted and needed from him so he could either step up and fix this or leave you alone completely. Just when you slowly felt like you would be fine without him that’s when changbin decided to begin calling and texting you.

You didn’t answer but you read every text and listened to every message he sent. His soft words made you cry more often than not. But calling and texting meant nothing.. you needed more. You needed actions, talk was cheap to you.

“Fuck.” Changbin muttered under his breath as another one of his phone calls was sent to voicemail. This time he didn’t leave a message.. he was on the verge of begging you to talk to him but he still had too much pride for that. Chan came around the workout bench Changbin was currently sitting on and lightly clapped him on the back. “You good, bro?” Changbin had not been his usual bubbly self lately. He did his job and did it well, that was not affected but, when the cameras were off Changbin was just a ghost of who he had been.

The stocky man ran his fingers through his already messy black hair. “Yeah, just can’t get ahold of a friend.” He put his phone up and laid back on the bench to resume his workout. Chan stood over him to spot him. “You know you can talk to me. Whatever it is I got your back.” Changbin finished and slowly sat up, his head hung low.

He wanted to tell Chan but he had kept you a secret for so long. He looked over at Chan, a pained look on his face. “I really fucked up, Chan.” Admitting it out loud hit him harder than he thought it would. He felt his eyes stinging as the tears began to well up, threatening to spill over.

He had not cried over you yet, keeping it in and keeping it to himself had taken a toll. Not having you there had slowly began to kill him, that’s what it felt like to him. He let out a rushed, shaky breath as he opened his mouth to speak but the tears would barely let him. His words were choked, and broken. “I- I think I lost her.. I lost her.” And that’s when he began to sob uncontrollably. Chan instantly went to his friend and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight. “Come on, let’s go back home and you can tell me what the hell happened.”

Back at their dorm Chan sat Changbin down on their couch and he let his best friend tell him everything. He told him about the sneaking out to meet you, he told him about the parties and the drinking. He told Chan how he had began to feel things for you the closer you two got but he was never the best partner and he was scared he would ruin you if he took things further than just kissing you. Obviously he was very wrong.. the emotional toll he had put on you did more damage than he thought.

Chan listened to him intently and even at the mentions of Changbin breaking some of the companies rules he decided not to scold him for it, he needed Chan, his friend not his leader right now. Changbin physically felt ill because he knew it was over and he knew it was all his fault. “What am I going to do.. I didn’t think it would hurt this much.” He ran a hand over his face to wipe away the tears. “I knew I would miss her but, I don’t get attached like this. Not when it comes to romantic feelings.”

That’s when Chan sat back and began to smile a little bit. He wasn’t saying anything just smirking. Changbin looked up at him expecting his best friend to be in thought, maybe trying to come up with a way to help him, but the idiot was smiling. “What! You think this is funny? Man, my fucking heart physically hurts!” Chan just chuckled and shook his head, “I find it funny that you didn’t even realize you had fallen in love.” He said it so easily, like it was a normal thing. Changbin, in love? Never.

“What are you saying? I don’t fall in love. That’s not what I do.” Changbin was growing annoyed. He wanted to know how to get his friend back. Chan just stood up to move and sit on the coffee table so that he was directly in front of Changbin. “Listen, from what you’re telling me you wanted to spend all the time with her as you could. Secret meetings nearly every day, you took her everywhere you went, you let her meet some of your friends. Except for us.” Chan gave him a stern look. Changbin just looked down at his hands. “You wanted to touch and kiss her and probably more which scared you because these physical feelings also came with emotional feelings so you decided to push her away instead of trying to sort your own feelings out.” Chan took a deep breath, “and now that she is gone you can’t stand it. It’s like your mind and your body are having withdrawals from her.” He put a strong hand on Changbins shoulder and gave him a little shake. “You’re in love and if I’m correct with how she handled your rejection, she’s in love too.. or she was.”

Changbin began to rub his temples, his head was spinning, was Chan right? Was he in love with you? He had never felt this way before. He needed time to process this before he made an attempt to see you.

You were sitting at your favorite coffee shop, an iced americano at your side and you were typing away on your laptop as you sat in the early morning sun. It was the first day in over a month where you felt like being outside. You wanted to be around people again. Changbin was still constantly on your mind. Even more now that he had stopped trying to contact you. You were always wondering what he was doing, where he was, if he had moved on so quickly.. if he missed you at all now.

Your neck was getting a little stiff by how long you had been sitting in that position. You couldn’t really focus on your work so you clicked over to your search engine to bring up instagram. You had decided to stop checking social media for any signs of him but, as your thoughts drifted to him you felt the need to just see what he had been up to lately. Changbin posted most things on instagram so you knew you would find something there.

Scrolling through his profile you saw a few new posts and he looked… he looked as handsome as ever. Your heart squeezed tightly. Missing him was the worst feeling you had ever felt. You let out a loud sigh, one that seemed to deflate your entire body. You slumped in your chair as you kept scrolling, your chin now resting in your palm.

“Is that your boyfriend? He’s pretty cute.” A very familiar voice startled you, causing you to knock over your coffee. You turned your head to see who it was, even though you would know that voice anywhere. As you turned your eyes locked with deep brown ones, a sweet smirk on soft lips, dark hair in its natural messy state. You knew if you stood up just then your knees would buckle beneath you.

“What are you doing here?” Those were the words that left your mouth but, what you really wanted to say was that you missed him and to give him a hug. Changbin licked his lips and hesitated for a moment trying to find his words. “I, uhh, wanted to.. no, I needed to speak to you.” He took a step closer to you, placing a hand on yours. “I missed you so much, if we could go somewhere more private and talk about what happened?”

His dark eyes were pleading and you could see a pain on his face that you had never seen before. You slowly moved your hand out of his grasp and then stood. His eyes followed your movements, as if he was afraid you would disappear if he took those eyes off of you. “Fine.. but make it quick. We can go back to my place.”

Nothing had changed since the last time Changbin had the privilege of being in your apartment. The space was small yet very homey with soft lighting and little green plants you had placed around in various corners and ledges. You had pictures of your family and friends along with small pieces of art you had collected since she was a teen. As he settled on the couch Changbin couldn’t help but remember the first time he had kissed you.

In that very spot he sat, flashes of heated touches, eager kisses, and the feel of your soft body pressed to his. He took a deep breath and let it out to shake the thoughts from his mind and to calm his nerves. He watched as you sat at the opposite end of the couch and turned to look at him, waiting.

Changbin cleared his throat before setting his eyes on yours. He wanted you to know just how sorry he was for how he treated you. “Y/n, I fucking miss you. I miss your laughter, the way you can’t hold back when you’re in a heated discussion, the little face you make when you’re concentrating really hard.” He couldn’t help but smile softly at that thought. “I know I fucked up… I was messing everything up even before we had that fight.” He kept his eyes on yours even when you faltered and looked down, he knew you were trying to hold back your tears, he could tell by the way your bottom lip quivered and your eyes were glassy with moisture.

It pained him deeply to see you like this and to know he was the cause of it. Changbing reached over and put his hand on yours, wrapping his fingers around your small hand and moving a bit closer to you. “I hate that it took this to make me realize what I was doing to you. I’m so sorry and I hope eventually you can forgive me.” That’s when he brought your fingers to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to them. You pulled your hand away when he did that, “No, Changbin you can’t do things like that… touch me that way.. kiss me that way. I understand you’re sorry but, we can’t go back to being friends. I can’t go back to whatever we were.” That’s when your tears began to flow.

Salty tears came in rushed rivulets down your soft pink cheeks. Changbin was not about to allow you to push him away this time. He had so much more to tell you. He moved even closer to, gently wiping away your tears with his hands softly on either side of your face. “You’re right, we can’t go back to what we were.” You looked at him in confusion and shock. You were not expecting him to agree with you. Before you could say anything Changbin took your lips with his. Kissing you softly, slowly.. almost like he was afraid you would break if he wasn’t careful with you.

Your tears were still flowing, coating both your lips and his as he kissed you, your breaths mingling, his strong hands moving to tangle in your hair. You eventually pulled away, out of breath and a bit shocked at what had just happened. “Changbin-“ You started but he stopped you by blurting out, “We can’t be what we were because I want more. I want your friendship and your love.. I want you.. all of you.” You looked at him as if he had two heads. You were floored, staring at him for a bit too long.. long enough to make him a bit uncomfortable.

“Y/n, say something.. please.” He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, he was looking at you almost pleadingly. After your initial shock wore off you finally gave in to all of your feelings and emotions for this man. You threw your arms around his neck, nearly sitting on his lap. Connecting your lips to his in response to everything he had said. The kiss this time was still slow but much more sensual. His tongue swiped over your lips asking for entrance. You didn’t hesitate to let him in.

Changbins hands were all over you, like he was memorizing every curve you hand. Soon you were both tugging at each other’s clothes. You pulled his shirt over his head, your hands instantly sliding over his hard chest and down his abs to tug at the waste band of his dark blue jeans. His kisses had become needy and rushed. You whimpered into his lips as his hands cupped and kneaded your ass, pulling you even closer to him. You could feel his stiff cock through the layers of fabric between you both, causing the wetness between her legs to pool and make your panties stick to you uncomfortably.

That’s when he picked you up effortlessly, his hands still holding you by her plump ass. His mind was reeling as he placed you gently on the bed. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he had you back, you were allowing him to see you in your most vulnerable state. Something even though he denied it in the past he only dreamed of seeing in person. Changbin began to remove your clothes piece by piece. He wanted to take it as slow as possible so he could take all of you in. Once you were lying there completely naked, he made sure to step back and just admire how beautiful you were.

His eyes took in the full swell of your perky breasts, the budding dark nipples hard and ready for him to suck and play with. He bit his lip at the sight of your soft stomach and the round curve of your hips, the slight stretch marks there. He wanted to kiss them, to touch and caress your thick thighs. “Spread yourself for me, baby. I want to see all of you.” You did as he asked, spreading your thighs wide for him and then to his shock you reached down and spread your lips for him. Allowing him to see just how wet you really were, your pink folds on display just for him.

Changbin kept his eyes on your pussy as he let out a guttural groan and he sank to his knees. “Fucking hell, Y/n.. such a pretty little pussy.” He watched as you ran your fingers through your slick pussy for him and he was mesmerized. He looked up at you, both of your eyes meeting in a silent question. “I’m all yours.. do whatever you want..just please.. do something, I need it.. I need you.” You pleaded in a soft husky voice, your body was buzzing with a deep need for him to touch you.. to fuck you.

He moved closer to your wet cunt. Placing kisses over and around the soft mound. Worshiping every single inch of your sex, he finally gave you exactly what you wanted. Changbin slowly licked up the wetness that had collected between your folds causing a sharp intake of breath from your parted lips, making your back arch for him and he loved it. “Oh, god.. Changbin.” You moaned his name, moving your hands down your body to tug on his thick hair. He watched your beautiful face, parted lips call out his name over and over again as he licked from your tight little hole to her swollen pink clit.

Slipping a finger inside of you as he sucked and played with your little bud, making you roll your hips for him. You were a complete and utter mess just for him, that’s when he put another finger inside of you, stretching you. He wanted you ready for him, all stretched out and finger fucked real good for him. “Cum around my fingers, baby. I want to feel you cum before I fuck you.” He spoke against your clit, his voice causing your pussy to vibrate with his voice and that nearly drove you into a frenzy.

You were writhing in pleasure for him, bucking your hips as he slid his fingers in and out of your slick hole, making the most delicious sounds of slick skin against slick skin. “Changbin.. please.. don’t stop, I’m cumming!” You moaned loudly, filling your bedroom with the sweetest sounds he had ever heard. Changbin felt you clench around his fingers just as your thighs began to shake, feeling the rush of your cum around his fingers. It drenched him and you, dripping down his hand and forearm, making a little mess on your bedsheets. “Fuck babe, you cum so good for me.” He was on the verge of coming undone just at the sight of you.

He pulled his fingers out and dropped his pants along with his boxers to the floor. Changbin wasted no time ripping the condom open he had been carrying in his wallet. He always kept one on him but he never thought he would be using it with you. Slipping it on his thick shaft he climbed over you, sliding his hands up her body, massaging and squeezing your soft flesh and loving every second of it. As he leaned down to suck and nip at your hard nipples he took his free hand and rubbed his hard, pulsating cock over your throbbing clit and through your drenched folds.

Changbin raised his head to move his lips up, kissing and sucking at the heated flesh of your neck then up to your jaw and finally your lips. He kissed you hard and slow. Making sure you could feel just how much you meant to him in that kiss. The kiss must have sent the message loud and clear to you because you opened your eyes that were heavy lidded with lust and met his loving gaze. You both kept your eyes glued to one another’s as Changbin slowly slid his now painfully erect cock inside your tight little hole. You both gasped at the same time in complete ecsatsy, Your hands began to grip and tug at Changbins body.

Running over his hard muscles feeling them move fluidly beneath his smooth skin. He began to move his hips, trying to keep a slow steady pace but, fuck did he want to bury himself deep inside of your warm pussy over and over again. Both of your body’s moved in unison.. as one. Changbin thrusting strongly into you, You lifting your hips just in the right way to meet his thrusts. “Mmm, baby you feel so fucking good… so tight.. I could fuck you forever.” He moaned your name when he felt you clench around his pulsing cock.

His movements became more erratic and rushed as he felt his own orgasm coming to a head. Sweat covered both your bodies making your skin slide easily over one another. You were so close to your own orgasm, the heat burning inside your lower stomach making you cry out for him to make you cum. “Please, Changbin… cum with me .. make me cum, oh fuck!”

That is all it took for him to reach his limit, he was pounding into you now, you both were chasing that high your bodies needed. Just when You couldn’t take it anymore you felt your orgasm unfold. Your body shaking, nails dragging deep scratches down Changbins back as you came hard. Clenching tight around his cock, your cum squirting and gushing around him, coating both of your thighs making the slapping of his skin against yours even louder.

Once he felt your orgasm clench and hold him in place he allowed himself to succumb to his own orgasm. His muscles tensed and shook around your body as you lay beneath him, the weight of him between your legs the most comforting thing you had ever felt. His thrusts became sloppy and his limbs shook with exertion, “I love you.. I love you..” Changbin repeated, his moans soft and sweet in your ear. As you both came down from your high he slowly rolled over, pulling out of you.

The bed was a mess and so were the both of you. Covered in sweat and each other’s cum. Once your heavy breathing slowed down he finally looked over at you. His dark chocolate eyes filled with nothing but love and adoration. You were a magnificent sight, hair a mess and tangled, body slick with a mixture of his sweat and yours, lips swollen from his kisses. You eyes met his and all he could do was reach over and grab your hand like he had earlier and kissed each and every one of them. “I love you, Changbin.. I always have.” You mumbled and rolled over to leave a lingering kiss on his lips.

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herarcadewasteland · 8 months

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happy death day

A/N: Purge night.

-SKZ x reader, 18+.

mature content, violence etc. its the purge. more warnings later

next!

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You hated this “holiday” with a passion. It was cruel, violent and in your opinion, completely unnecessary. It wasn’t worth a few years of lowered poverty in the country to let everyday people become murderers just for fun. And you stood by it. Declined participation, parties, even hanging out with friends. You did none of it. Never would. You swore to yourself that after that one night when those eight men held your father and mother hostage while you were tied to a chair, which was in turn tied to a wall, torturing them slowly before killing them in front of you, you would never even acknowledge the horrendous night. So, you didn’t. You saved up and bought the best home protection you could, hiding away under blankets until your ears were blasted by the alarms that signaled 7am.

Tonight was the annual purge night. Work was filled with preparing purgers stocking up on their energy drinks and snacks. Oh the joys of working at a gas station. Gas prices were lowered for the day so purgers could fuel their vehicles of carnage, bullets and pocket knives were also half off. You hated that the most, your stock in the back was mostly shotgun shells and 12mm’s stacked beside boxes of pocket knives and ball-point pens because people had a strange liking towards pens around purge night. The 4:30pm close could not come sooner, your eyes staring daggers at the clock beside you. It was almost painful waiting, your stomach twisting, head a little fuzzy and hands sweating. It was far from your best feeling. You’d place an orgasm at the top of that list for sure.

The small chime of the bell hung above the door caught your attention, eyes drifting over to watch as eight men sauntered through, broad shoulders clad in leather, boots clicking against the tiled floor and faces already covered with black face masks. Some sported black caps, others slicked back hair and one who had achingly bright blue hair. You blinked at the bright colour, your eyes scanning the others as they spread out, gloved hands tracing shelves before your eyes caught the muscle of one of their arms, the veins in his arm pronounced as he lifted a case of diet soda. The realization he was grabbing diet soda made you laugh a little, not noticing the set of eyes it drew towards your position leant against the counter.

His intense gaze soon registered and you glanced in the general direction it was coming from, one of the tallest staring straight back at you with unblinking and dark eyes. It made you clear your throat and turn to start locking up the nicotine products for the night, time flying away as you glanced back at the clock which now read 4:20. Great, you thought, almost done. You locked up what needed to be locked behind the counter with practiced ease, muscle memory guiding you as you started zoning out. You didn’t even realize you completely zoned out until one of eight cleared their throat to get your attention. Turning in an almost graceful circle, your eyes widened slightly as you saw them all gathered with armfulls of things for the night. You huffed a small sigh and walked back up to be nearly flush with the counter, hand grabbing the scanner in preparation.

“You guys got everything? Not gonna be breaking in when I close up to get something you forgot because you were distracted by the soda choices?”

A few of them chuckled, the clear ring leader shaking his head as the one holding the soda visibly shrugged in a clearly unfazed motion. You hummed as the leader started piling items, your hands working double time to grab, scan and push away items as they slid one after the other. It took you two minutes to scan everything they had gathered in their tour, your hands now busy bagging as the leader typed in his card pin. Everything paid for and most things bagged, you could feel their eyes on you as you neatly placed the last of their protein bars in a small paper bag.

“Okay. That should be everything right?”, you sighed as you glanced up and accidentally made eye contact with every single one of them.

Their eyes almost made you zone out, something about them so alluring and dangerous… it made your heart race as you shakily pushed their last bag forward as the leader nodded again, his eyes catching yours for an unnerving moment as they began exiting with bags in hand. You cleared your throat to rid yourself of some nervous energy as you rounded the corner as the leader left, hands turning the lock quickly, your back meeting the cool glass as you let out a large sigh, your head dropping forward as the revving of a clearly modded engine filled your ears. The muffler shot twice before the heat of eight gazes left you free to sprint around, shutting off lights, locking things down and couple checking the front before you booked it out of the side door to your little punch buggy.

The click of the locks echoed slightly in your car before you started it, the time ticking slowly towards 7pm as you released a long breath. The journey home would be stressful. All the purge goers taunting the scared people with machine guns and shotguns as they drove past, cars bumper to bumper as you crawled through the streets to get home. The main street was the worst of it, your eyes scanning over 70 cars in front of and behind you on both sides of the road. It made your hands sweat more, small shakes running through your body as the clock ticked to 6:30pm. Half an hour to get home and activate your systems. Fuck. You glanced around frantically, the side road blissfully empty of large amounts of traffic, the crowd generally being too afraid of more secluded zones to take side streets.

Using that to your advantage, you swerved off onto the side street, speeding up significantly as you took a new, slightly longer route to your house. Well, technically your parents house. Your childhood home actually… you just stayed in it due to the convenience of owning it and the short distance from many stores you frequented often. Taking slightly sharper turns than normal, you arrived home with three minutes to spare, the sun setting peacefully in a mocking show before the carnage of the night began. Hands trembling and fumbling with your keys, you dropped them as you approached your doorstep. A loud curse and you were bending to grab them in a panic, eyes scanning your peripherals as the announcement froze your body mid bend.

Your heart beat faster as the announcement progressed, your body kicking into flight mode as you sprinted into the house after unlocking the door, your harsh breaths filling your ears as you locked the door, hand already punching in the security code and locking down the house. Your wide eyes watched the metal plates slide down over your large living room windows, the large black truck across the road sending a tingle down your spine before the barricades slammed shut and locked in place with a resounding clang. The loud alarms rang out seconds later, the noise making you jump as gunshots rang through the streets already, screams echoing from people who couldn’t make it inside in time.

Relaxing with the added noises and suffering outside was easier said than done, your tv on 45 to block it out but failing as trucks sputtered by, screams following, guns firing, more screams. It was torture. You needed a larger distraction, you decided as your security camera showed you a large black van blaring its speakers, a man's voice breaking through the static of it periodically.

“Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!”

A disgusted shiver ran down your spine, neck curving back and shoulders scrunching up before you shook it off and headed upstairs. A shower would help. Yeah, you thought, a nice warm shower, some music, a candle. Perfect way to distract yourself from outside. So gathering a change of clothes, sleep shorts and a nice big hoodie plus your comfiest pair of underwear, you started the shower, your music blasting. Stripping went quickly, your eyes avoiding the mirror as you walked past it. Stepping into the shower, most noise drowned away, “Boss” by NCT U guiding your head as you bobbed it along to the beat, lip syncing your favourite parts as you ran your hands through your hair. Your eyes closed in bliss as you let yourself float away in the beat and the comforting embrace of the water as it streamed down your body.

Your bliss was slightly disrupted as the next song started, the hard-hitting drum resonating in your bones as the lyrics started.

“나나나나나나나나 나나나나나나나나나,”

You nodded along, your body rolling slightly as the beat picked up further, your mind partially blanking as you got lost in the routine of your shower.

“Happy death day, happy, happy worst day,”

Foot tapping in tune with the chorus, your eyes opened to reach for your body wash and loofa, scrubbing away the nervousness in eucalyptus and mint as the song echoed in the small room.

“Wе're closer to death,”

You lost track of time, the last few verses cutting through the air as you turned off the shower slowly, towel wrapping around your body as you shivered in the rapidly cooling air. Your hands almost vibrated as you dressed quickly, your hands pausing as the song finished itself off a little too slowly for the moment.

“I'm so sick of the fakes, I'm so sick of the fakes,”

You mouthed the words, hands straightening the hem of the hoodie once you pulled it on properly, your eyes scanning your reflection with a certain distaste as you brushed your hair.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

You rolled your eyes at the revving, placing your hairbrush back down on the counter and flicking off the light with a sigh.

Crash.

“Run, run for your life, run, run for your life.”

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