im-tops-bottom
Humanity is at a crossroads.
The world as it is today; The poverty, the hunger, the greed and war, it’s no longer sustainable. The time has come to wipe the slate clean. Friends, it’s time for the apocalypse.
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Had a fic idea ... Here's a dialogue to best express it...
Minho, on the phone: Baby I'm breaking up
Felix: I'M PREGNANT
Minho: first of all I meant my phone is breaking up and I'm having trouble hearing you.
Felix: ohhhh
Minho: second of all... You are? Is it twins? A boy? A girl? A litter of little kittens? Enough to have their very own class where we can teach tjem Korean, English and Japanese. Ooh ooh we can teach them to sing, dance and rap of course. We will send them to school every day and make sure they at least attempt a class in everything. I can't wai- Felix?
Felix, hangs up the call and panic dials Han:
Han: Whats up?
Felix: I thought Minho hyung was gonna break up with me and I panicked
Han: oh god please tell me you didn't do the cliche thing. Please please PLEASE tell me you didn't
Felix, silent:...
Han, ends call and calls Hyunjin: I need a favor
Hyunjin: You must be in desperate need if you're calling for a favor
Han: My twin flame Hyunjined hyung
Hyunjin: Say less. HEY BABE!
Changbin, rushing down carrying twins: Yes?
Hyunjin: Lix did a me and we are gonna to go full UDIM
Changbin, puts the sleeping babies into a crib next to Hyunjin before taking out his phone: oh god oh god oh god
Jeongin, on the phone, sleepily: Hello?
Changbin: Yongbok!
Jeongin: How many times do I have to tell you I'M FUCKIN JEONGIN
Changbin: quit having an identity crisis. This is serious
Jeongin: This better be good
Changbin: Yongbok
Jeongin: I will hang up this phone
Changbin: and I'll kick your ass if you don't let me finish this damn sentence. Yongbok code red operation UDIM activated
Jeongin: well why the fuck didn't you say so.
Changbin: I'm gonna murder you
Jeongin, rushes out of bed: let's focus on Lixah first. I'll grab Minnie and everything. Meet everyone at Lixies
Changbin: on it
Jeongin, hangs up and calls Seungmin:
Seungmin: Hey
Jeongin: Operation Unnecessary Drama llama Mode has been activated
Seungmin: did Hyunjin hyunjin Changbin again?
Jeongin: No worse
Seungmin: oh?
Jeongin: Felix did a Hyunjin
Seungmin, sighs: oh my way
-An hour later-
Felix panicking: He ended with wanting a litter of our kittens around. I'm a human. I'm a man 😭😭😭😭
Seungmin: That's what you get for doing a Hyunjin
Hyunjin: I still hate how thwt is still the name we are calling it but still...
Felix: Help me
Seungmin: I called in a favor.
Felix: Are these the same people that got Hyunjin and Changbin the twins?
Seungmin: Yes
Felix: oh god
Jeongin, walking in with Changbin, Chan, Han, a mother cat with several kittens and the father cat as well as sleeping babies: oh hi Hyung
Felix: WHAT THE FUCK?
Minho, walking in proud: This is what you get for Hyunjining me
Felix: HYUNG!
Minho: I realized I may not be able to knock you up the only way I want but we got all the babies we can ever hope for
Felix: once again... HYUNG!
Minho: Oh and the rest of the guys will be moving in to help
Felix, sits down and pouts towards the ground:
Minho, sits next to him on the couch: How's the proud new mama of four and grandmama of four feeling?
Felix, eyes start watering as Chan hands him one of the babies and the Mama cat brings one of her kittens up to him: They're adorable
Changbin hands the other twin off to Minho: we'll be here to help. And they babies can all grown up with each other
Felix: thank you
Everyone watches as the cats bring the kittens up to snuggle on the couch by Felix's side as the babies feed off the mum
Tears fall from Felix's eyes.
Felix: I love my SKZ family
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Just another day at the dorms:
Felix, sobbing: MY FINGER!!!
Changbin, races up to Felix, takes one look at all the blood and faints:
Felix, cries harder: MY HYUNGIIEE~
Hyunjin, races in, trips over Changbin trying to get to Felix and passes out from his forehead smacking against the floor:
Felix: MY HYUNIIEE~
Minsung come rushing in from opposite directions and smash into each other and fall to the ground:
Felix: MY OTP!!!
Chan tries to rush in but accidentally gets knocked out from swinging his bedroom door into his face:
Felix: MY BANK!!!
Seungmin walks in, sees everyone passed out and a sobbing nleedin Felix standing in the middle of all the chaos:
Seungmin, sighs: Oh Lixie
Seungmin, drags Felix out of the dorm and into a car to drive him up to the hospital:
Jeongin on the phone: What happened at the dorm? It looks like a murder zone
Seungmin: Oh right I forgot about those idiots. Can you call an ambulance for them and make sure they're alright
Jeongin: oh god OH GOD WHERE'S THE BABY!
Seungmin: Lix is with me. He's getting stitches in his finger. He cut it opening up a can while he was making lunch.
Jeongin: okay bring my.. our baby back home safe and sound. I'll deal with the Hyungs and lunch
Seungmin: thank you darling
Jeongin: no probs. Tell mt dear jagi, I'll be cuddling him heaps when you get home
Seungmin: will do. Bye! *Ends call*
Felix: Look Minnie! The plaster has 🐥 all over it
Seungmin, smiling at his cuteness: Let's get you home in a bit and snuggle with Innie. He misses you and is making food
Felix: ooh yes please... And ice cream?
Seungmin: yes ice cream
Felix, in excitement gets out of the hospital bed, trips up on his blanket and knocks himself out on the hospital bed:
Seungmin, facepalms and heavily sighs: I'm in a group filled with clumsy accident prone idiots
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Changbin: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Chan: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Felix: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
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Felix: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Han: What's that?
Felix: Remorse code.
Minho: I'm even angrier now.
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Felix: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Seungmin: Just rip the bandage off.
Felix: It’s Jeongin.
Seungmin: Put the bandage back on.
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Minho: Yongboks darling I need you to do your thing okay? Chan hasn't had any sleep and we need him to sleep
Felix, nodding quickly: On it 🫡
...
Felix: HEY HYUNG I BET YOU 1 MILLION WON I CAN GET FALL ASLEEP THE FASTEST
Chan: Oh you're on!
Minho, from the other room: That works I guess
Felix: FIRST PERSON TO THE BED HAS TO BOTTO- HEY THAT'S CHEATING!
Chan: YAAAS BEAT THAT! GUESS WHO'S TOPPING TONIGHT!
Minho, scrambling out of bed: Oh hell no! HANDS OFF MY BOKKIE!
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Chan: Hey Felix have you seen m- OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR GOD DAMN ROOM?
Felix: First off all, don't take the lord's name in vain. Second of all, I redecorated
Chan: YOUR ROOM IS MISSING 2 WALLS!
Felix: I gave it a good indoor outdoor flow
Seungmin: He got angry when we lost in an Overwatch game
Chan: that's it. I'm taking away your computer. You're grounded. You're to stay within these 4-
Chan: *looks at the room*
Chan: you're to stay within the area that still contains something remotely resembling a room
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Minho making breakfast: Bokah how would you like your eggs?
Felix, sleep deprived trying not to fall off his chair from gaming all night: Nogged
Minho: Brandy? Dark Rum? Cognac?
Seungmin: Felix spent the whole night losing ranked games and went down to bronze
Minho, mixing all 3 together: Say less
Jeongin, on his 26th energy drink: Don't make me any. After last nighr, I'm probably just gonna eat candy off the floor
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Seungmin: I am strong! I beat Felix at arm wrestling!
Han: Anyone can beat Felix at arm wrestling!
Felix: Hey-
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Felix after losing games all night, most probably
Felix: *Game show voice* Time for your favorite game, guess what problems I have today! Is it insomnia? Is it depression? Anxiety? The urge to murder? Lack of appetite?
Han: I’m going to go with… Anxiety, maybe with a little bit of feeling like shit?
Felix: Congratulations Han, you win a million dollars and a will to live that I never had!
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Lady at cash register: What’s your name?
Changbin, whispering to Jeongin: Can I tell her my real name?
Jeongin: No!
Changbin: I’m… Jeongin.
Jeongin, whispering to himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right…
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Cop: You ran a red light.
Han: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Han: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.
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Felix: *speaking Spanish*
Minho: I know, I know.
Seungmin: You speak Spanish?
Minho: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Felix speaks. Including cat.
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Felix: Oh, dope. Looks like my room has a silverfish infestation.
Jeongin: Just use normal cobblestone?
Felix: This is real life.
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Chan: I'm bored, any suggestions?
Felix: Sleeping is nice.
Chan: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.
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Felix: I'm not superstitious... But I am a little stitious.
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Felix: You really gotta get your tongue on it.
Felix: *Licks soap*
Felix: Bleh-
Felix: Don't get your tongue on it.
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