#except val maybe but fuck what he wants n also it was still never good enough for him anyway
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Why do I still hate myself for not livin up to the person I used to pretend to be
#i don't wanna be that guy anymore#n it's not like anyone else wants me to be that either#except val maybe but fuck what he wants n also it was still never good enough for him anyway#or i guess it used to be. back home. long as i kept the act up at least.#wanted me to compensate w/ somethin else when i couldn't make him any more money i guess#but even when i put on my best damn performance to be what he wanted he found smth to pick apart#it's been easier than it used to resisting when i feel the pull again but....#i still feel like he was right about everythin. so now that i don't let him have me anymore i'm just a waste of space#still don't know if it's better this way or not#he wasn't always this fucking mean. i think he got worse here than he was back home.#i mean he was always an abusive piece of shit but. it wasn't impossible to keep him happy. just had to keep my head down n do what i'm told.#now if i seem too into it he'll just find a way to ruin it for me#he wants me to want him but not enjoy any of it. i'm supposed to hate every moment but still ask for more.#i don't fucking want that#so idk what it even is anymore that i think i'm supposed to be. i just know it's something else than this.#spdrvent
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unasked for otp answers
I’m bored so im just going to do this for my twc ships. I might do it for my other ships too, i don’t know. I don’t feel like writing but i want to talk about my blorbos.
Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?
Valdam: Neither of them. If it had to be one, it would probably be Val. It would be semi-intentional or not at all, and it would be entirely desperate. For all that Adam is like ‘tu omina’ and ‘do it for me’ I don’t think they would use an ILU in that moment …
Kate: Nate! AND Kendis would learn him good. He would NEVER PULL that shit again.
Nai: Nat. Kai would tolerate it better than Kendis would
Feirre: Pierre. It would probably be more a whispered statement, like a confession and an apology. IF he ever did this. I won’t put him as a hard no, because while it’s not fully his vibe, he is his mother’s child.
Mandy: Andy. lmao. And he would deserve Mason punching him (only because he would say it in such an infuriating manner to deflect, lmao).
Clown Romance: Ava is the only person who would tolerate this from Nathaniel. Because Alexis would’ve already left and Kendis would be too busy giving him the finger. But Ava would pull an uno reverse with a ‘do it for me’ or ‘I’m doing this for you’ and NATHANIEL WILL LEARN FINALLY HOW IT FEELS.
Which one is more protective? Who needs to be ‘protected’?
This might be a bit of a cop out but all of them need to be protected, and all of them would protect the other, in different ways. Even Misters ‘this is just casual fucking’ Andy & Mason.
Describe their cozy night in.
Mandy: Sex. Eventually it’ll just be them being quiet old men, lmao. The activity will matter less than the fact that they’re doing it together, silence. Adult parallel play. I can see Andy taking up reading to Mason
Tareq x Ava: Watching soap operas and board games.
Clown Romance: I could see Kendis cooking, Nate cleaning up, Ava and Alexis setting up. Alexis picks the music or the entertainment. Dinner and a movie brought home. Maybe a trivia night? Three fourths of that polyam is heckin competitive.
Would they build a pillow fort together just because?
Feirre: Yes. Felix wouldn’t even have to ask that hard because Pierre would be so soft over how excited Felix is at the prospect (and it wont cause destruction soooooo). But Felix might regret it, because Pierre would get pedantic about measurements. It’s cool though, because Felix will be able to distract him and tease him. And sunshine man would win again.
Clown Romance: Yes. Even Alexis and Ava. Why? Because Kendis said so.
Do either try to hide their emotions if upset? Can the other still tell?
Kelendis: Yes. Yes. *hums ‘lucky i’m in love with my best friend*
Who’s the bigger tease?
Tareq & Ava: Tareq.
Feirre: Felix, but Pierre gives a good run.
All my N ships (why do I of all people have three N ships???) it’s Nat/e except for Clown Romance where my money is on Alexis.
Valdam: Adam, haha. LMAO.
How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash?
Valdam: They’re both pessimistic, lol. They’re both pragmatic and logical (surprisingly I know, in Val’s case) individuals. It is hard to describe it – but it isn’t so much they expect the worse, though they can, as they’re not fully surprised about the darker or more selfish aspects of others or the world. It’s a sorta ‘okay …’ / almost take it as it comes attitude. I’ve always said Adam’s acceptance of Val’s more “mercenary” side is what really has them working. They’re both very prone to justice and that drives them. Val is more duty-bound than they give themselves credit. I think Adam would encourage them not to approach it ironically but I think Val would bring back a zest to it for Adam, that sort of focus on the little guy and less what the agency-wills. They’re also both lonely and broken creatures, lmao. Though they have their teams, thankfully.
They are both stubborn. Val is impulsive, prone to childishness, and can lash out emotionally while Adam overthinks, is highly serious, and draws inward. They both strive to ‘annoy’, in a sense, when upset or … annoyed themselves. Adam being condescending, Val being a brat/raccoon.
Kate: They’re both very determined and optimistic. They’re the supportive type, the shoulder, the one that encourages. They take their responsibilities seriously and are hard-workers. They’re both homemakers. That said, Nate is infinitely more driven by his heart than Kendis is by hers – she’s big-hearted but she’s more wary about things than he is. So, he’d definitely encourage her to open up but she’d pull him back from getting his bleeding heart chopped up. They both love fancy and spending, but Kendis can balance a checkbook and is thrifty. So Nate would learn.
Kendis is infinitely more stubborn than Nate. He’s also more romantic, in general but specifically in terms of what they’re both looking for at the moment. Kendis has a temper and a mouth on them, and I feel that would cause trouble if the game was darker.
Do they always say 'i love you' before leaving?
Tareq & Ava: Tareq, obviously.
Feirre: Felix, but Pierre catches onto the habit too. Maybe not as much as Felix, but he expresses it in other ways.
Can they stay up all night just talking?
Kelendis: I’ll say yes. But more Kendis with the chats.
Feirre: Yep.
Who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?
Nai: Nat. But Kai DOES have his moments.
Tareq & Ava: Tareq.
How likely are they to have fur babies? How many and what kind?
Feirre: Yes. I think Felix convinces Pierre when he sees how the cats in the building love him, so they get one cat. Ends up loving Felix more, but Pierre doeesn’t mind.
Clown Romance: So many. Any kind Kendis can get their hands on. Once in their original ‘verse they adopted an extinct lizard (brought back to life by magic) and brought home a creepypasta deer and everyone had to be like YOU CAN’T KEEP IT KENDIS, and they were like I KNOW. but …. Did they? Did they really know?
Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.
Nai: The More I See You by Nat King Cole
Feirre: Maybe not 100% but 90% Someone To You by BANNERS
#meet my ships#adam x detective#nate x detective#nat x detective#felix x detective#mason x detective#clown on clown romance au#ava x detective#val x adam#kendis x nate#kai x nat#pierre x felix#kendis and alexis#tareq x ava#andy x mason#did i forget anyone?#idr probably#long post#twc ships#twc mc#i had to stop bc this was live five pages#may come back or do others idk#but this was nice
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to have and have not.
lee taeyong x reader
“losing me is better than losing you.” - losing you, wonho
main masterlist
description. being close friends with the leader of one of the biggest korean gangs in the underworld wasnt already tough, a big situation falls into your laps that only makes your bond with him even stronger, and maybe perhaps having love to bloom in the process.
genre. mafia au, fwb to lovers au,
warnings. none except for a lot of shooting cudndn
word count. 6,733
a/n. here's a taeyong x reader ff i came up with. its not much but i still hope youll enjoy it :D
lee taeyong. most people, or rather regular people would have a shiver sent down their spine if they heard this name, even if they didnt know how the man looked like. taeyong was, and still currently is very well known in the underworld, but above it as well. he's a well known gang leader amongst all the other gangs that work under one man, mr david chong. basically the mafia boss trumping above all gangs. the police have never been able to catch him, no matter how hard they tried. the policemen would either get shot and killed one by one due to his great ability of using a mere pistol, or would just be killed by taeyong's gang members before taeyong would even appear in their sight. all in all, lee taeyong was a scary man in many ways. not to you though. you found him interesting.
when you were caught hostage by one of the gangs along with one other women you didnt know, and you have the great lee taeyong to get you out of there and have you work under him for debt in a way, you did owe him a lot when a bullet was mere seconds awayfrom going through your brain. you found out that the women who know work under taeyong as well is named val. now, you didnt have much work to do honestly, you would be lounging around in the arcade basement most of the time. you were only told to do small tasks that wasnt that horrifying in any way.
"im dying of boredom!" you whined as you sat up from the very comfortable velvrt couch and faced yuta, who was off duty for tonight. "doesnt boss have anything he needs me to do? i wonder why he even took me in" you folded your arms and rolled your eyes as you let your body slouch and sink into couch. "no one is doing anything right now M. the boss is trying to plan something big from what i hear." yuta shrugged as he took a sip of his vodka. all the members in the gang call you either mal or m, it was a shortened version of your long second name malvisko and you liked being called mal. "yeah well fuck that. im gonna go sleep." you stood up from the couch and waved a small goodbye to yuta before exiting the arcade basement to head to your bedroom, or not.
you tip toed across the halls, making sure no one sees the fact that youre slowly making your way to the boss's office. you arrived at the door without being seem by anyone and right before you were about to open the door, you see jaehyun, taeyong’s right hand man. you looked up to meet his gaze. “you’re here to see mr lee?” you nodded slowly, intimidated by how cold he looks, but no one can beat the gaze of taeyong. “he’s currently feeling stress. try to calm him down a little.” he pats your shoulder before walking past you and disappearing into the hallway. the only person who knows your true relationship with taeyong was jaehyun, and you consider him to be a friend more than a colleague.
you stepped into the room and closed the door behind you. you see taeyong behind his desk with his laptop. he wore his wearing casual attire, which was a hoodie and sweatpants, along with his glasses. you see papers scattered across the table. you slowly walked up to stand beside taeyong. “hey, tae. how’s work going for you?” you placed your hand underneath taeyong’s chin and kisses his cheek lightly. taeyong sighed and took off his glasses and rubbed his temples. “almost all gangs are now working under bishop. what’s worse is that he’s working for that idiot david chong.”
you placed both your hands on his shoulders and massaged them gently as you bit your lip, not entirely sure of what to say. “that sounds pressurising.” you whispered. taeyong scoffed in response. “im going to take revenge on them for killing my brother. he wasnt even involved in this shitshow. ill figure something out.”
you knew about taeyong’s past. you knew that he has worked under mr david chong since he was little but decided rebel, leaving to start his own gang. but now, mr david chong wants him back and will do anything to do so. taeyong is a “precious specimen” as what mr david chong kept calling him. a man who was extremely smart and living in a monstrous world, he did everything he could to survive. it only made his instincts so much stronger. taeyong was like a wild beast in a wild forest, not many were able beat him. you felt honourable for the fact that taeyong lets you know his past. the other members know about it as well, but not as much as you did.
“rest tonight, tae. i want you to sleep.” you leaned forward from behind and whispered into his ear, gently planting light kisses down his neck. taeyong sighed once more and pulled your hand from your shoulder and turned his chair to face you. taeyong pulls you to sit on his lap. “now’s not the time to be doing stuff like that. im sure you know that well.” taeyong glares at you with his piercingly dangerous eyes. you giggled softly, resting your hands on his chest. "i was just advising you to rest, nothing more." you winked teasingly. taeyong scoffed in response and made you stand up. he walked past you and towards the bed, falling onto it almost instantly. you followed suit and sat beside him at the edge of the bed. "youre right. i have a ton of things to do tomorrow." taeyong covers his eyes with his forearm. "im having jaehyun guard you while im away too. its getting dangerous with a whole army of high ranked psychos coming for me. theyll definitely go for those i most treasure before capturing me."
you took a deep breath. "be careful alright? come back to me safe." taeyong chuckled, shaking his head as he sat up straight, going close to you and pecking your lips. "cant exactly do that without having either a bullet in me or a broken rib, but ill come back alive." taeyong wraps his arm around you and pulls you in for a quick kiss before pulling away. "now go. i dont want my men suspecting anything." you nodded and stood up and walked to the door. before you walked through the door, you went back to taeyong to give one last kiss before leaving him for the night.
you were walking down the dimly lit when you suddenly bumped into someone. you looked up to notice it was jeno. one of the younger guys in the gang. "what were you doing boss's office?" jeno asked innocently. you licked your lips nervously, trying to quickly think up an answer. "its fine. i know what you are to him." jeno folded his arms as he smirked widely in a teasing manner. you quickly looked around, making sure you and him were alone. "no one is to hear that you know. im just his friend.. with benefits." you whispered to jeno. jeno giggled. "sure mal. anything you say." he mocked you. "shut it. if taeyong knows that you know he'll probably threaten you to keeo quiet. its good enough that im already warning you." you rolled your eyes and before you were about to make a turn towards another hallway, you look at jeno's way and pressed your index finger to your lip.
you headed to your room and slept as perusual. lucky for you, nothing happened to you that night. taeyong is always scaring you by saying that anyone can kidnap you in the middle of the night, at any time. but god knows taeyong would never let that happen. when you wake up in your large bedroom in your large bed, you looked towards the coffee table to see jaehyun sitting on the comfortable chair, drinking coffee and using his phone. you signalled jaehyun by coughing, making him look your way immediately. "good morning, miss." you sat up from your bed and yawned, turning your head to the full body mirror beside your bed and seeing how terrible you looked. you slipped out of your soft white mattress and grabbed the silk robe, wearing it on before walking over to the coffee table.
“i told you. you didn’t have to call me miss. im your colleague for shit.” you said as you took a seat across jaehyun. he placed the cup of coffee he had in his hand on the table. “sorry, mal. im just used to calling you miss since you have a strong relationship with taeyong.” jaehyun doesn’t look up at you as he quickly glanced his eyes over the words on the newspaper. “jeez im telling you. we’re just friends with benefit. nothing more.” you huffed and folded your arms, slouching into the seat. “by the way, apparently jeno knows about me and taeyong. just keep an eye on him.” you grabbed the cup of tea that was on the table and took a sip. “the gang will be in an uproar if word gets around” you whispered, staring down at your drink. “i will.” jaehyun simply said.
you carried on with your day. most of the gang members are out today. probably because of the big plan that taeyong is doing. he probably also has some gang members to follow him. jaehyun would be with taeyong most of the time but he needed to take care of you since taeyong trusts him with you the most. you could understand. they had a long history together.
“can we please go grocery shopping and cook homemade food? im tired of buying take out.” you whined as you stabbed the fork into the friend chicken that you ordered from kfc. jaehyun took a sip of coca cola and hummed. “im not sure if its safe mal. taeyong wouldn’t want you to be wondering around in public.” you pursed your lips. “but i have you to protect me.” you pouted at jaehyun. he raised his eyebrow in disgust and sighed. “ill call taeyong and ask him.” you shouted a loud yay which made jaehyun flinch back, using his finger to cover his ear as he rolled his eyes and took out his phone to call taeyong. you were trying to hear his conversation with taeyong at the other end of the line by placing your ear close to jaehyun’s phone. you smiled as jaehyun ended the call. “alright. get ready to go. ill wait outside the room.”
you nodded happily as closed the door when jaehyun walked out, skipping your way towards your wardrobe and picking out a simple outfit to go to the supermarket. you made sure you hair looked neat and grabbed your purse and walked out to meet jaehyun. jaehyun leads you out of the hideout and gestured you to get into the car. taeyong normally rode this car but for some reason he chose to take another one to run his errands. you waited as jaehyun gets into the driver’s seat and starts driving to the nearest supermarket.
you two arrived at the supermarket. you realised that it wasnt at all crowded since it was practically 3am in the morning. you only see a few high school students around buying a snack and headed out in a flash. jaehyun helped with pushing the trolley while you picked out ingredients to make jjajangmyeon. you figured that it would be best to make a big batch so that the rest could be saved as leftovers for the other members when they come back in the morning for breakfast. jaehyun kindly offered to pay and the both of you headed out of the supermarket, with jaehyun carrying the groceries.
“thanks for taking me out. its nice to take in some fresh air instead of being couped up in the hideout." you turned towards jaehyun to give him a bright smile but later noticed that jaehyun was looking around suspiciously, his eyes scanning around his surroundings as if the scanner in his mind has detected danger somewhere near you two. you kept quiet for moment, getting scared and you slowly got close to jaehyun. "get down!" jaehyun screamed at you, dropping the groceries and he wrapped his arm around you and drags you to hide behind the car when suddenly a bullet was fired to your direction. you froze, tilting your head up to see jaehyun quickly pulling out his gun from his back pocket, arms streched out to the ground, ready to shoot any second. "its a fucking sniper." jaehyun whispered to you as he looked up towards the buuildings oposite the car, trying to find which building the sniper was stationed at. you didnt know what to do, you were afraid, scared, many feelings were flowing through you. all you could do was look down at the ground, and trust jaehyun with whatever he was doing.
"we're going to get in the car and im going to drive us out of here before the sniper can take another hit, got it? just get into the car as quick as possible and duck down. make sure that he wont be able to see you through the window." you nodded as you quickly processed jaehyun's instructions. "on my signal." jaehyun had his eyes glued on the tall buildings, it was late at night so you could barely see anything, you could never imagine how jaehyun was even able to spot the sniper.
"now!" you immdiately opened the door and got inside the car, closing the door and ducking your body down so as to not be see through the winodw. jaehyun hopped into the driver's seat in a flash and started up the car. you were panting nervously as you felt the car moving at high speed. you heard another bullet being shot at the back of the car. you whinced as you tilted your head up to see jaehyun with his phone beside him, his phone being placed on speaker mode as he called taeyong. "something happened. a sniper tried to shot mal. im heading back to the hideout now." jaehyun said. you heard taeyong shouting a loud 'fuck' before hanging up the call. jaehyun kept silent as he drove you back to the hideout in full speed. in less than 10 minutes, the car was put to a stop. you hugged your purse and you started slowly sitting back up. you looked at jaehyun, who's head and eyes were scanning the area again. jaehyun got out the car and walked to your door, opening it and signaled you to get out, you continues hugging you purse to your chest tightly as you quickly ran towards the hideout and got inside, with jaehyun following you behind.
you took deep breaths and watched jaehyun you looked extremely wary yet calm and collected. you were almost killed and jaehyun looked chill, although you doubt he felt like it. "taeyong's coming. wait for him in the main area." you folowed his instructions and took a seat in the couch of the main area, which basically consisted of a single couch and a very large table. the main area is where everyone would gather if they needed to plan something together, like breaking into a house and sorting out the escape routes etc. you werent part of those meetings but you were always there at the doorframe to see what taeyong and the others were talking about.
you took out your phone, not seeing any messages. you sighed and shoved your phone bac into your purse. it didnt take long for taeyong to come rushing through the door and placing himself on the couch, sitting down beside you and hugging you tightly. you nervously placed your arms around him, seeing the other members aloqly coming into the room. you let out a soft 'uh' into taeyong's ear, signalling taeyong to pull away from you since there were many eyes on you, wierded out that taeyong is being way too touchy with a gang member.
taeyong immediately noticed you hint and pulled away, coughing as he walked toward the huge table and slammed bot his arms down. "bishop is coming, in no time, theyll find out about our hideout and attack." the gang members begin to gather around the table. jaehyun however was standing with his arms folded behind the couch. "splint into groups and disperse. we cant be gathering in big groups like this. leaders take charge." you see the leaders of the sub groups, which were taeil, winwin and johnny nodding their heads to their boss. "those under me. stay low. dont do anything reckless. although it applies to everyone so." taeyong shrugged and sighed, rubbing his temples. "okay thats all. everyone head out tomorrow morning. im calling the leaders in the future to give further orders."
everyone said their goodbyes and exited the room one by one. jaehyu was the last one to stand at the door and before heading out, he gave a look to taeyong, which taeyong responded with a nod and walked out, closing the door behind hi and leaving you and taeyong alone in the main area. taeyong turned towards you and took a seat beside you, looking at you up and down. "im so glad youre safe." taeyog brings his hand uo to cup your cheek and frowned slightly and hugged him tight, digging your face into his chest. taeyong held you close and strokes your hair slowly and placed a kiss on the top of your head. "im not gonna let you go out without me or jaehyun anyore. i cnt imagine what woud happen if you went out alone." taeyong whispered as he pulled away, looking at your face before pulling you into a deep kiss. he pulled himself away from you. "you must be shock from that. im letting you sleep in my room."
you nodded slowly and stood up, following taeyong out of the main area and to his bedroom, which is basically his office. he lets you go inside first and closed the door behind him. he immediately unbottoned his white button up shirt, taking it off and throwing it at the edge of the bed and took a seat on the bed. "why are you so dressed up? you only went to the supermarket." taeyong commented as his eyes scanned you up and down, your outfit looking too bold for going somewhere simple in the middle of the night. "its not often i get to go out of this place. i just wanted to look good." yoy stripped your clothes off till you were in your bra and underwear. you placed your clothes where taeyong's shirt was and picked up his shirt to put it on. "you look nice in my shirt."
you giggled you walked over to the bed and layed down beside taeyong. taeyong cuddled you close, your leg over his and you burry your head deep into his neck. "im going to keep you safe from now on." teyong said, planting kisses on your shoulder. "thats not what a 'friend' says you know." taeyong lets out a 'tsk' before closing his eyes. "sleep," taeyong muttered. you smiled softly and kissed his cheek one last time before falling asleep. to be honest, you didnt know what was yor relationship with taeyong. for now, you only wanted to think of taeyong as your friend with benefit. besides, how can a gang keader even have time to fall in love. you were only there to comfort him, seeing his soft side. you felt that his actions says more than what your relationship with him is, but you chose to not let you imagination wonder too far. you liked taeyong, but you never wanted to interfere with his work by having a relationship with him, thinking that you would be a burden.
the next morning you woke up to see taeyong who just got out of the shower. you yawned and sat up straight, waiting taeyong who’s abs were out in the open, immediately diverting your eyes to it. “you’ve seen it plenty of times but you’re always staring at it like its your first time.” taeyong said calmly. you blinked your eyes and gaze your eyes up at taeyong who was drying his hair with a small towel. you blushed and stood up from the bed. “i cant help it.” you shrugged and begin to unbutton taeyong’s shirt which you slept in and slipped into your own clothes. before you walked out to head to your own room, taeyong pulls you to him by the waist in a swiftly motion and planted a kiss on your lips. “shower and get ready by 9 at the main area. im having a meeting which you need to be there for.” you smiled soft and interlocked your hands with his before letting go and heading out to your room.
you quickly showered and changed your outfit into a more comfortable one, merely only wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. you shoved your phone into your back pocket and and shoved your hands into the sides of your hoodie and walked your way over to the main room.
when you arrived, you see the members that are grouped to be under taeyong standing around. you noticed that taeyong has yet to arrive. you see jeno hanging around the corner with jaemin. you headed over to them, since they’re the only ones you would consider close to. “mal! how was last night? did you have fun?” jeno asked, tilting his head and grinning widely with the smile of a cheshire cat. you furrowed your eyebrows and slapped his should, making him flinch back as he let out a hiss. jaemin looked at the both of you, confused. “what happened last night?” jaemin questioned you. you shook your head with a smile. “oh its nothing. i just played cod with mark last night.” you glared at jeno who still had his smile on. you rolled your eyes and folded your arms. just how does he know everything? you thought to yourself.
you heard the door open, revealing taeyong in a ravishingly beautiful slick black suit. you clicked your tongue in amusement as you eyed him. what’s the occasion for him to be dressing this good? “great everyone’s here. let’s walk through what’s going to happen tonight.” tonight? what is taeyong going to do? is this what he worked long hours for? you listened attentively as taeyong talked about the plan to the members. you were in awe. you weren’t mentioned in the whole plan at all. why did you have to be here? “this needs to be pulled off properly if we’re going to beat that shit. got it? mal, i just need you to stay with me.” taeyong said as he turned his head to the back to face you. you widened your eyes and nodded quickly. “we head out at 12am sharp.” with that, taeyong walked out of the room, leaving everyone to do their own things.
jaemin chuckled. “this is going to be fun.” jaemin said in a sing-song tone. “the fuck is so good about killing a bunch of people jaemin?” you took your phone out to check the time, realising that they had the meeting for four hours and its already 1 in the afternoon. “its the chaos that excites me.” jaemin winked at you, laughing sinisterly and shoved his hands in his trousers and walked out with his shoulders laid back. “he’s only being sadistic. its fine.” you looked at him with a weirded out face. he snorts and jerked your arm with his elbow. “chill m. he’s just joking with you.” members slowly started going out of the main area. you decided to hang out at the arcade area.
the whole day went by quick since you were on your phone the entire time and once it was beginning to get close to 12am. the place started to get hectic with everyone preparing their guns and maing sure they have everything ready before moving out. you however, were just waiting in the main area. you figured that everyone would gather there first so you decided to get your lazy ass out of the arcade room and to the main area.
one by one, members started coming in. you see everyone, including jeno and jaemin with a pistol in hand. you have handled those before but your aiming really sucked. no one in the gang can compare to taeyong's gun skills though. his precision is so good he can shoot someone right in the center of their forehead from such long distances. he liked using old fashioned guns that were different from what the others had since he was more comfortable with it.
by 12am sharp as promised, everyone has gathered in the main area.taeyong gave one last look to all the members and everyone nodded their heads and exited the room swiftly, leaving you, taeyong and jaehyun.
"jaehyun's going to drive us to the mansion. after that, im not letting you out of my sight. got it?" you hummed in response as the three of you proceeded as planned, getting in the car immediately after getting out of the hideout and headed to david chong's mansion.
when you arrived, the car was right in front of the entrance of the mansion. you look through the window andnoticed how extravagant it looked. it looked rich, like it costed millions of dollars, but that is what to be expected from a mafia boss who has money rolling in every second. taeyong asked you to stay put in the car while jaehyun and taeyong got out of the car to talk to the two security guards that were standing at two sides of the entrance and heavily armed with multiple guns strapped on their black vests. taeyong and jaehyun were being checked by the two security guards to avoid having any guns being pointed at david chong, well that made sense.
not long after, jaehyun opened the door of the car and taeyong stood in front of you before grabbing you by the arm and getting you out. you were being pulled to the entrance. the security guards immediately scanning you up and down. "the fuck you looking at my girlfriend for? she's unarmed dont worry." taeyong hissed at them, making them click their tongues and allowing you and teyong to enter, along with jaehyun following behind. did taeyong called you his girlfriend? well that was unexpected.
upon entry, you see a huge grand room which two large sets of stairs on either side, leading and connected together to the second floor, to which a old men stepped out of the shadows of the dimly lit room. "lee taeyong. been awhile since ive seen you in the mansion." taeyong only kept silent, his seemingly cold blooded gaze on david chong. right now, taeyong looked extremely intimidating. although you werent scared by him the first time you met him, this was different. it felt as thoug even his gaze can kill soeone out of fear.
"come back home, taeyong. ill take you under my wing again, and youll live the finest life ever." david chong said. you observed him closely. you thought he looked like those males that become more ugly the more they age. "like hell i would." taeyong said. suddenly, david chong's eyes turned to you. you widened your eyes in fear, but tried to look calm and collected. "who is this beautiful and precious young lady?" he tilted his head and the smiled widly. you were disgusted by the old man was eyeing you right now. taeyong puts a hand on your shoulder. "you remember her right? the girl that your snipers tried to get." the old man started to climb down the stairs. taeyong watching his every step. david chong eventually ended up standing in front of you.
"looking up close, she's more pretty than i thought. could be of use to me." the old man come up close to you, way too close. he placed his thumb on your chin, tilting your head up and he examined your face. your eyes went to taeyong, who instantly pulled you away from him, making you stand behind him. "dont fucking touch her." the old man responded with a loud chuckle. "protective as always. i really did raise you up well." david chong kept his eyes on you. you could tell that taeyong would have ripped his neck open by now, but he kept calm regardless of the overflowing rage at how close david was getting to you.
"how about this? lets arrange a deal." david said, folding his arms in front of him as he stood a foot away from taeyong, who only stared at him fiercely. "i have the girl, and you get your freedom." you widened your eyes, gaze immediately switching from david to taeyong, constantly going back and forth. you felt jaehyun's presense from behind coming closer. "so i dont need your ugly ass and your men tailing my every move if i let her be one your your billions of prostitutes." taeyong raised and eyebrow and laughed histerically, making him look the only crazy one in the room. his eyes grew dark soon after. "try that and you wont see the light of day. though i think today is the last time you ever will." taeyong's eyes glanced to the side where it was dark and in a split second, a gun slided on the floor from the darkness and was in taeyong's arm. immediately, all the members got out from lurking in the darkness, guns all pointed towards david. however, david's men, including bishop's group, appeared on the second floor.
you looked around you in shock, overwhelmed by how much has happened in the blink of an eye. you moved back slightly, feeling jaehyun's hand on your back which made you feel a little safe. you see taeyong pointing his gun towards david's head, to which david responded with a low chuckle. "what, you want to kill me? i have many gangs under me. i could get you devoured in a second." you hear jaehyun letting out a huff as a gun was tossed to him as well. "im not that dumb please."
taeyong wraped his arm around david's neck and turned around to face biship's gang at the second floor. "move and he dies." taeyong shouted, tightening his grip on david's neck. you could tell that bishop's gang members were irritated and taken aback by what taeyong did. taeyong gestured his head towards winwin, who the signalled his gang to go up to the second floor.
"drop your guns." winwin said to the group of men. they were about to put their guns on the floor when a bullet was fired at winwin's shoulder, who immediately whinced in pain. the whole room became a chaos as bishop's gang started to attack. you froze in fear. taeyong shot david in the leg and turned around to look at you. without realising, you see jaehyun on the floor with bishop's members surrounding him. one of the men grabbed you and placed your hands behind your back, tightening his grip. you stared at taeyong with widened eyes, too scared to do anything. you tried to get away from the man's grasp, but clrly you werent strong enough to go against him. you see someone coming up from behind taeyong. "taeyong behind you!" it was too late. taeyong was knocked down unconscious. "taeyong!" you cried out, trying you best to get to taeyong, but you couldnt. you cried as you saw taeyong's body fell to the ground. you realised jaehyun was unconscious as well. it didnt take long for them to knock you out soon after realising the situation you were in.
your eyes fluttered open. you tried to move but realised you were tied up with your hands behind your back and your legs tied together as well. you looked around, trying to process where you were at. it looked like a basement of some sort. the walls looked old and moldt and there was nothing else around you other than taeyong and jaehyun. you started wondering where your other members were at. you wiggled your way towards taeyong who's body was still and wasnt that far away from you. you tried to wake him up by bumping your head on his chest. it didnt take him long to wake up. "mal. fuck they caught us." taeyong muttered under breath as he woke jaehyun up by kicking jaehyun's leg. jaehyun looked around. you saw jaehyun's ear twitch suddenly. he leaned towards the door. "they're coming." jaehyun said. the room fell silent as the door flew open, revealing david alone, walking in. "look at you. i thought you were stronger than this taeyong." david bent down to meet taeyong's eye level. taeyong turned his head away.
"so whats it going to be? the girl, or you?" david walked over to you and grabbed you by the collar and lifted you up, his head getting close to your neck and he took in your scent. you bite your lip and tilted your head away, struggling to kick him away. "smells like money to me." david chuckled. taeyong and jaehyun both hissed at him like snakes. david acted scared, letting out a "woah." sarcastically. "you got one hour to decide. also.." bishop suddenly appeared at the entrance of the door and walked over to taeyong. "pleasure seeing you again." bishop said to taeyong. "to think you would be dumb enough to team up with david. go to hell." taeyong argued. "i thinnk youre the one going to hell, when i torture you to death." bihsop instantly pulls out a night and placed it at taeyong's neck. jaehyun tried to kick it away but to no avail. "im having him torture you while you decide. have fun." with that, david dropped you back to the ground, and left the room. you heard him lock it, just great.
"now, what are we going to do with you three?" bishop romved the knife from taeyong's neck and circled around the three of you. "all we wanted to do was take david's money and bring him to the police for fuck sake." taeyong said as he rolled his eyes. "you shouldnt let me know your plan, idiot." bishop commented when he stopped behind you, pulling your hair, making you whince. "tell me, you ever had sex before?" your raised an eyebrow and kept your mouth shut. "not going to reply i see." out of nowhere, bishop connected his lips with yours and tried kissing you, but you didnt let him, still struggling to get out of his grasp. "get away from her!" taeyong shouted as jaehyun kicked bishop in the stomach with his legs. you fell down and coughed in disgust. bishop laughed, standing up and squat down infront of you. you spit in his face and stared him in the eyes. "fiesty. i see why david could have fun with her." bishop whispered. the only thing you could think about was how furious taeyong looked, his eyes burning in anger.
"well, i didnt come here to torture taeyong so, ill be on my way now." bishop suddenly carried you bridal style. you screamed taeyong and jaehyun's names as you were being carried way from them and out of the room. taeyong looked into your eyes, nodding his head as to signal that you will be fine, and that he'll find a way to get to you. you could only trust him when the door closed, removing taeyong and jaehyun out of your sight.
you didnt know where you being being carried to. you tried to stay calm, but your breathing was completely unstable. bishop noticed how you were acting. "calm down, im only keeping you for myself, i only worked with david to get my hands on you." bishop opened a door and entered the room. it was a bedroom, a good looking one at that, fitting the theme of the whole mansion. "what are you going to do with me?" you asked him, your voice cracking. bishop throws you on the bed and gets on top of you, you shivered as his hand touched your cheek, admirj g your face. "you'll find out soon, love." with that, bishop gets off the bed and walked out the room and locked you in. you looked around, trying to find any possible way to escape. there wasnt a window to escape through and you were unable to come uo with any ideas. you cried as you hugged yourself on the bed, you didnt know what to do. you were away from taeyong. who knows what could happen to you. you cried and cried till your eyes became dry and extemely red.
bishop hasnt come back for awhile now. you closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing, taking in deep breathes to try and calm yourself down, though it was very difficult. you didnt realise you were crying too much to the point where you fell asleep.
you woke up. you werent in the room this time. you looked around, you looked to be in a car. you turned to the front to see jaehyun and taeyong in the front seats, with taeyong driving. "great youre awake. we're heading home, not the hideout though." taeyong said with a monotoned voice. how did you get out? did you fell unconscious or something? you were in bishop's room the last time you were awake. you fell asleep again, too tired to think or even bother to ask yourself questions.
soon, you felt arms carrying you out the car. you fluttered your eyes open to meet taeyong's. he placed a soft kiss at the top fo your head. taeyong carried you to a rundown looking house. the wood on the walls were filled with mold, but it appeared to still be a suitabe place for a hideout. you were placed on a bed and taeyong sat down beside you. he hugged you tightly, and you hugged him back, fully embracing his presence. he plants soft kisses on your neck. you pulled yourself closer to him. "is everyone safe?" you asked with eyes of concern.taeying pulled away from you and smiled softly. "everyone is fine, a few wounded but the doctors are handling that." taeyong pulled you in your a kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, while his was placed securedly on your waist. taeyong pulled away and sighed. "im sorry i couldnt protect you." taeyong whispered as he grabbed your hands and places them both on your lap, rubbing your skin lightly with his thumb. you layed a kiss on the side of his lips. "its fine, i was scared, but i knew you would come for me." you smiled softly, trying not to break down again in front of taeyong to make him feel worse.
"i love you." taeyong said. you widened your eyes. "you do?" taeyong hummed and nodded his head in response. you placed your forehead against his. "so we arent friends with benefits?" you asked him again. taeyong gave you wierded out look. "since when were we friends with benefits. i thought you knew that i liked you." you chuckled softly. "you should know youre the kind of person that cant express his feelings well." you commented. taeyong only frowned, to which to kissed it away. "ill keep you safe from now on, no matter what. losing me is better than losing you." taeyong hugged you once again.
after that crazy experience you had, you learned a few things. one, that taeyong was now yours. you didnt have to hide your feelings for him, and the members were apparently happy for you two. well, taeyong would propably rage if anyone opposed it anyways. and two, that you were able to trust taeyong full heartedly. with his strength, you know that he would do anything to keep you safe.
#nct#nct 127#nct 2020#nct taeyong#taeyong x reader#nct scenarios#nct imagine#nct x reader#nct ff#nct au#lee taeyong#taeyong#taeyong ff#nct taeyong x reader#lee taeyong x reader
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rockstar {s.r x reader} - 2
summary: it’s been two months since you sunk your chipped black nails into steve rogers’ heart. it’s bliss - maybe you’re living in a dream world. {part one here}
I’M SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG but part 2 is finally here! and i don’t even have an excuse because i’ve literally been doing nothing in lockdown. also this has two new characters, the bandmates, they’re only side characters/kinda comic relief but they were so much fun to write
i’m gonna make a taglist so if you want to be added, let me know xx
- val xx
One month.
One month with you.
And the best month of his life.
Steve couldn’t quite bring himself to say that he loved you - at least not to your face. He was certainly infatuated by you; obsessed with every sarcastic word that rolled off your tongue, entranced with every curve of your body and every mark on your skin. He was drawn in by every bold grin and cheeky wink; enamoured by your very state of being.
It was a cold Wednesday morning; you’d turned on the heating in your apartment, but there was still a chill in the air. You were sat at the piano in your living room, a half-finished cigarette resting between your lips and a cup of black coffee resting atop the instrument, steam forming against the glacial air.
You were surrounded by hundreds of pieces of paper; some were scribbled with lyrics, others with melodies and musical arrangements. They were scattered across the rug, and both your coffee and dining table. Getting musically stressed was all in a day’s work for you, but this particular song was being stubborn.
Steve, who had still been asleep when you traipsed out of bed thirty minutes previous, was stood in the doorway of your bedroom. He had your sheet wrapped around his shoulders, watching as your hands absent-mindedly floated across the keys. You were wearing his shirt; it hung off your shoulders, a few tattoos peaking out the top. He’d seen a lot of beautiful sights in his life but this one certainly took the top spot.
He watched as creased your brow - something you always did when you were in deep concentration.
‘Come back to bed?’
You jumped at the sound of his voice, turning to face him with a tired smile on your face. You dropped your pen and took the last sip of your coffee, jumping from your seat and skipping across the room to see him. He took you by the waist and you leapt up, wrapping your legs around his waist and pressing a kiss to his nose.
‘I would love to come back to bed but I gotta work, baby.’ you sighed, your hands wandering through his tufty blonde hair. ‘This song is stressing me out.’
‘I know a way I can help you relax,’ Steve’s face twisted into a grin.
‘You make a convincing-’ you were cut off by someone knocking excitedly on your door.
You groaned, dropping your head into the crook of his neck. There was only two other people who had access to your front door without buzzing through; you loved them both dearly but they were a real pain in your ass (especially when they were cock-blocking your chances with Captain America).
You leapt down from Steve’s waist, pressing a kiss to his lips.
‘Put on some clothes,’ you ordered, pushing him towards the bedroom, ‘and fix my sheets, Rogers!’
You heard Steve mutter something about how you were killing him, doll. You rolled your eyes and smiled to yourself, grabbing some black skinny jeans that had been strewn on your sofa. You tugged them on and then jogged to the front door, preparing yourself for the two clowns that awaited you.
‘What do you two morons want?’
You were met with the grinning faces of your band-mates. Alex was a six-foot-tall man child who still dressed like a My Chemical Romance fan circa 2005; Damian, meanwhile, was a self-described bisexual disaster with tufty brown hair and a never-ending collection of flannel shirts. And, above all, they were your absolute best friends. Platonic soulmates, if you will.
‘We haven’t heard from you in three days.’ Damian elbowed past you, swaying into your apartment.
‘We thought you were dead,’ Alex chimed in.
You folded your arms tightly across your chest, watching as your band-mates sauntered in. You didn’t intentionally spend three consecutive days locked in your apartment - it just sort of happened. You and Steve had met up on Friday for a drink, and he was still here on Wednesday. Time sure did fly when you were getting fucked by a super soldier.
‘I’ve been busy.’ You muttered.
‘Doing what?’
‘Her new boyfriend, probably.’
‘He’s not my-’ you paused. Was Steve your boyfriend? You hadn’t that conversation yet.
You hadn’t had a boyfriend for a long time. You weren’t short of casual flings - not by any means. It was simply that you hadn’t met anyone worth giving the time of day. And Steve Rogers, you found, was worth giving every second of every one of the rest of your living days.
‘Is he hot?’ Damian asked.
‘Very.’
‘Can we see - ‘
‘- sweetheart, have you seen my shirt?’
You felt the air leave your lungs when a shirtless Steve Rogers exited your bedroom. It was partially to do with what a glorious sight it was and half to do with the fact he hadn’t met any of your friends yet. And, aside from Sam and Bucky, you hadn’t met any of his either.
It wasn’t because you were ashamed; rather, it was au contraire. Whatever this thing was, it was close to your heart and it was close to his. It was your little secret; a tiny world you’d built together. It was too precious to expose to the world - not yet.
Steve stopped talking when he saw the two other men in the penthouse. He recognised them from the photos on your wall. Except, in the pictures, they were sharing the same, menacing glare that you had. Now, they were grinning like two Cheshire cats.
‘Fuck my life,’ you murmured quietly, hiding your face in your hands, before taking a sharp breath and gesturing between the three. ‘Steve, this is Damian and Alex.‘
‘Right, great to meet you guys.’ Steve, momentarily forgetting his shirtlessness, flashed his beautiful smile, sticking his hand out for them to shake.
‘Believe me, Captain America. The pleasure is all mine.’
‘My eyes have been blessed-’
‘- right, that’s it!’ You snapped. ‘You two, out! I’ll see you in the studio later.’
‘But we have so many questions, sweetheart.’ Your nostrils flared at the use of Steve’s nickname.
‘I will throttle you, Damian!’ You threatened, showing him towards the front door.
‘We love you, Y/N!’
You scrunched up your nose, opening the front door. ‘I love you too. Now fuck off.’
You let the door shut behind them, dropping your back against it. You covered your face with your hands and let out a groan as you slid down it, collapsing into a pile on the floor. Steve, who was still stood in the centre of the room, pulled a face at you, as though he were pitying you.
‘Don’t look at me like that, Captain America.’ You pointed a finger at him.
‘I’m not looking at you like anything,’ he couldn’t hide the grin on his face. ‘You’re just so overdramatic. It’s very funny.’
‘I am not overdramatic!’
Steve shook his head and marched over to you, slamming his own back into the door with an over-dramatic groan. He slid downwards - exactly as you had - until he was sat next to you, mimicking your exact actions.
‘Does that look familiar, doll?’
‘It’s easy for you to say. You work with the Avengers, not Tweedledum and Tweedledee.’
‘They seem nice.’
‘I...’ you bit your lip, eyes wandering off ahead of you. ‘They called you my boyfriend.’
Steve furrowed his brow, his head dropping onto your shoulder. ‘Why do I get the feeling that you’re not ready to have that conversation?’
You took his hand on yours, playing with his fingers. They were almost twice the size of yours (and they did things, so many things) and you loved holding them. He towered over you in every way possible. You’d never been the kind of girl who wanted a man to protect her but with him, you didn’t mind so much.
‘I like what we have now. You and me, and no-one else.’ You murmured quietly. ‘The minute you put labels on things, it creates pressure.’
‘Pressure to do what? Be together?’ He tried to hide the coldness in his voice.
‘To take the next step!’ You said. ‘You start dating, then you’re official, then people expect you to get married and have babies-’
‘- Your bandmate called me your boyfriend. I didn’t propose to you.’ He stood up, and you immediately yearned for his touch as soon as it left you.
‘Steve,’ you grabbed onto the door handle, steadying yourself as you leapt up. ‘Commitment just freaks me out, okay? It always has.’
He bit his lip, eyes glued to the floor. ‘What are you saying?’
‘Nothing. I’m not saying anything-’ you took his hands in yours. ‘I’m just asking you to be patient with me. Please?’
--
Later that day, Steve was sat in his office at the compound. It had been a slow morning; there wasn’t much in the way of missions and the reports he’d been working on were dull. He kept picking up his phone, checking to see if you’d texted him.
He still smiled every-time, nonetheless. His background picture was one he’d taken of you; you’d gone on a date to Central Park, and he’d got a snap of you with ice cream on your nose, signature scowl on your face. You had a pair of dark-rimmed Ray-Bans resting on your nose, a black beanie covering your hair. It was his favourite picture of you, because you were adorable and terrifying in equal measures.
You still felt too good to be true. Before you, every attempt he’d taken at dating had been so complicated. Modern dating was a thousand times harder than it used to be. But, you were simple. You were so open about your feelings that he knew where he stood. It wasn’t exactly like you wore your heart on your sleeve but you were brutally honest. It surprised him sometimes, the way you just came out with things. The way you just said it how it was.
You’d left things up in the air that morning. You and Steve both had to get to your respective workplaces, and you hadn’t yet had the time to properly sit down and talk. Part of him was terrified for it – what if you were going to end it?
‘I need your advice, Buck.’
Bucky looked up from his laptop, a frown across his features. For a minute, Steve felt bad for distracting him from his work, before he saw the Sims 4 loading screen on his desktop.
‘What’s up?’ He asked. ‘Your girl getting you down?’
‘She’s not my girl,’ he shot back. ‘I mean…Y/N freaked out this morning when one of her bandmates called me her boyfriend.’
‘You’ve met Alex and Damien?!’ Bucky’s eyes widened, but he quickly cleared his throat. ‘I mean – not relevant. What did she say after?’
Steve rolled his eyes at his friend. ‘Told me she had some issues, asked me to be patient. I think it kinda opened a can of worms.’
Bucky paused, drawing the end of his pen along the table as he thought for a minute. ‘Figures. I think she’s right – you guys have been pretty intense. She probably just needs some time to find her bearings.’
‘What if I’m waiting for something that’s never gonna happen?’
‘Is she worth the wait?’ His friend raised his eyebrows. ‘Only you can decide that.’
--
Across the city, you were in the studio. You were sat on top of a piano, a guitar resting in your lap as you quietly strummed at it, waiting for inspiration to hit you. You were three quarters of the way through finishing the particular record that the band had been working on – but the last part was dragging. Your mind was a thousand miles away as it was, the face of a particular super soldier at the forefront of your mind.
‘You got anything?’ Damian called across from you. He was sat at his drumkit, occasionally whacking at a cymbal hopelessly.
‘Nope.’ You replied ‘I was thinking something like this-‘
‘-we have company!’ Alex announced, entering the room.
You glanced up from your guitar, eyes widening when you saw that Steve was with him. He shared a similar expression to you – nervous, perhaps. You cleared your throat and put the guitar to the side, hopping off the piano. Your boots clipped the key on the way down, a few notes emitting from the instrument as you walked across the room to face him.
‘We’re going to go and talk outside.’ You announced. You took Steve’s hand, pulling him out the room.
You exited the studio, heading out into the backlot of the building. The ground was wet with rain, a few droplets still falling from the sky. The sky was grey, air still thick with damp from the weather. You leant against the wall, boots crunching under the gravel of the ground, scrunching your nose up as a gust of wind hit your face.
‘I’m sorry that I freaked out this morning.’ You finally broke the silence between you. ‘I just…I guess I that I was enjoying that little bubble that we were living in a bit too much.’
Steve smiled, nodding. ‘I know. Me too, doll.’
‘It’s just that things are going so well between us that it freaks me out.’ You continued. ‘Because I know that means it’s going to become serious.’
‘So, what are you thinking now? Where do you want to go with this? With us?’ He took a step closer to you.
‘Every time that I’ve got to this point in a relationship before, I’ve ended it.’ You sighed, but immediately panicked when you saw the look on his face. ‘Oh god, I should not have lead with that – I mean…You’re the first person I’ve met that I want to take that step with. It freaks me out but I want to do it. You just gotta me halfway, yeah?’
Steve’s face softened, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you into his chest. The action was soft, filled with relief and maybe – just maybe – love.
‘So, does this mean I can officially call you my girlfriend?’
You nodded, beaming. ‘I might freak out the first few times you do it, but of course.’
You pressed your lips to his, hands running through his soft hair. You both fell back against the wall, but you broke the kiss before it could become too heated. You knew where it was going and you weren’t going to put it past you and the super soldier to try and find somewhere to get off in the studio.
‘We gotta back to work,’ you sighed. ‘But I was thinking – the guys have been banging on at me all day about wanting to meet the rest of the Avengers.’
‘That’s funny,’ Steve chuckled, ‘because Bucky has been secret fangirling over them.’
‘Maybe we could go out for drinks?’ You asked. ‘Tomorrow night?’
He pressed another kiss to your lips. ‘It’s a date.’
‘Good.’ You beamed at him. ‘D’you get a cab here?’
You fumbled around in your pockets, producing a lighter, a crumpled-up piece of paper and a set of keys. You tossed the keys to him, and Steve caught them. He’d been dropping hints about wanting to ride your bike again – it was the other thing he’d been obsessed with since the night you two met.
‘Take my bike.’ You said. ‘I think it needs to be ridden by someone who doesn’t grind its gears.’
‘And here I was, thinking you couldn’t get any better.’
You rolled your eyes, pressing one last kiss to his cheek. ‘Now go! I’ve finally had some inspiration for a song that I’ve been stuck on.’
Was it soon to be writing songs about him? Probably. Did you care? Absolutely not.
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers x you#captain america x reader#captain america imagine#captain america x you#captain america x y/n#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers angst#steve rogers smut#avengers fluff#avengers smut#avengers preferences#avengers series#avengers imagines#avengers angst#avengers fanfic#steve rogers fanfic
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Not Such A Long Shot
main masterlist | thor masterlist | taglist | ko-fi | ao3
For: Me. But also all of you, because I feel weird not having posted something in what’s probably weeks but feels like months.
Pairing: Alpha!Thor x Omega!Reader
A/N: You absolutely did read that pairing tag right. I almost never write a/b/o because it’s just not really my thing but I felt like alpha!Thor was vastly underrated (except by @spacelabrathor who’s a god damn MASTER at it) and wanted to remedy the issue.
I’ve been working on this for at least two weeks. Probably more. It’s not edited, probably not my best work, definitely not really finished. It was meant to go on longer than it currently is but I’ve forgotten the direction I was going to go in and decided to just post this and write more later if I remember.
I don’t have a beta reader and didn’t want to read through 25 pages of this before I posted it. I’m sorry about that. I hope you like it anyway.
Honestly I’m so tired today I couldn’t even be bothered to fix the italics formatting throughout this whole thing in one sitting. Maybe I’ll fix it later, maybe I won’t. Does it make that much of a difference when you read it? (I legit would love responses!)
Warnings: SMUTTY SMUT (just one section, but still), NSFW/18+ CONTENT AHEAD. Not a super confident Reader, but she knows what she wants.
Words: 10,177 (like I said, 25 pages)
You feel like one of the most pathetic Omegas to have ever lived.
Most Omegas find their Alphas and go straight into bonding, but you? You had always made things more complicated for yourself.
And the walking embodiment of such a reminder has absolutely no idea that you exist.
You don’t blame him. The last five or so years have been extremely difficult for him, and for most of that time, you were nothing but a tiny, run of the mill SHIELD Agent. Even now, as just...an Avengers Agent, you still blend in with the crowd.
It’s...kind of the job of a spy to do so.
But for an unbonded Omega? One who, at some point over the last five or so years, imprinted on an untouchable and uninterested Alpha?
It’s torture.
--
Thor comes back to Midgard and tells his friends about Ragnarok. He and Bruce relate all of the relevant details, and they somehow trickle down the chain of command to you. Your ears perk up when you’re notified that Thor’s back, and without thinking, you head for the residential floors.
You’ve memorized where Thor’s apartment is. You’ve never gone in, knowing what kind of boundary that breaks, but you’ve gone to the floor, stood in the hallway, and nearly cried yourself dry on particularly bad nights of your last few heats.
You can’t help it.
Your body decided, long ago, that Thor was the one. The Big One. Your heart and mind haven’t really caught up to your biology and it fucking sucks, but it’s the reason why you’ve abandoned your work station and head upstairs.
Remain calm, you remind yourself. He doesn’t even know who you are.
You think of the countless times you’ve tried to mate with another Alpha before. And each time since you imprinted, every one of those Alphas have told you how terrible you smell. So you’ve gone home alone too many times, unable to even see the man you’ve been physically pining over for years, knowing he has no idea who you are, feeling like the scummiest, most useless Omega in the entire universe.
You don’t deserve him. He works so hard to keep everyone save, pulls so much of the weight of the team when he is around that you wonder how they ever manage to work without him. You just keep quiet, fill out paperwork, and go on the occasional mission when your skills are required and relevant.
But he doesn’t make you feel so bad about your job when you find him in the common area. The Valkyrie is sitting next to him, drinking beers from glass bottles, feet up on the table in front of them while they watch the local news.
When Thor sees you, he smiles. “Hello there,” he calls, raising his beer.
You give a small wave. He nods to one of the seats beside the couch. “Come, join us!”
He doesn’t even know you, but he’s acting like he does.
The Valkyrie looks at you, her expression unreadable. You’d say your jealous of her, but she’s an Alpha, too. You can smell it on her, feel the guarded and dominant energy flowing off of her. She’s not competition, though. That much you can tell right away.
You do as Thor had offered, taking the chair right next to him.
“Waiting for Stark?” he asks.
You shake your head, unable to look at anything else but him now that you’re so close.
You wonder if he can feel what you feel: the sun falls over his glorious face in waves that make your stomach churn; his smile is bright and makes your chest tight and fluttery; his one remaining eye - that you’d just noticed - is a deep, earnest blue that might cause slick to pool between your legs if you were in heat.
At least the Gods had mercy on you there. For now.
“I, uh,” you say. Instinct wins over, despite the logical parts of you screaming not to say what you say next: “I heard you were back.”
If he did feel what you were feeling, his smile wouldn’t be falling like it is. He must not be imprinted like you are. It’s unfortunate, but you know it happens sometimes.
You don’t like what people have said about the Omegas with unrequited imprints. This isn’t faring well.
“Just wanted to say hi,” you say. You remember that he doesn’t know you, despite you having been in the background of his story for the last few years. You try not to hold that against him while you hold a hand out toward him, attempting a softer smile because you don’t want to scare him away. You don’t want to be one of those Omegas. “I’m (Y/N).”
You don’t deserve him. He’s too kind. His smile comes back as he leans toward you and shakes your outstretched hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, (Y/N),” he says.
And if he feels anything more than what one normally feels upon first introduction, he doesn’t show it.
“This is my friend,” Thor says, pointing now at the Valkyrie. “We call her Val.”
She nods. “My friends call me Val,” she corrects. “Everyone else calls me Valkyrie.”
You know it’s meant for you. Clearly it is, since neither of them know you. Gods you plead in your head why did I come up here?
“Don’t mind her,” Thor says, maybe, just possibly picking up on your anxious energy. “Her bark’s much worse than her bite.”
“My bite is plenty horrifying, thank you,” she jokes, and Thor laughs with her.
You want that. To laugh and be at ease around him. To know him.
But since you’ve known of him, your crush has been exclusively on the sidelines. You imprinted on him from across a room, when he hadn’t even been looking at you. Your schoolgirl feelings for him had just...mounted and climaxed, and then you were suddenly attached to him chemically, without his permission or knowledge.
Sometimes - actually, make that most of the time, you hate being an Omega. This kind of shit only happens to Omegas who don’t settle down and pick a good mate that they’re realistically worthy of before it’s too late.
This is ridiculous. This was always ridiculous. Why did I come here?
You go to stand, but before you can, Thor clears his throat and turns the television off. You can’t tell if you’re relieved that he’s leaving the room or not.
“We were just about to head out for karaoke night,” he says. “Would you like to join?”
For just a moment, you wonder how he has time for karaoke when his entire kingdom lives in your backyard now, but you don’t question it.
Your crush dictates that you simply smile gratefully at the offer and accept.
--
At three more beers in, the Valkyrie ran off with a Beta she’d met ten minutes prior. Thor’s other friends - the Avengers, the team you’d worked under for years and barely ever met personally - are sprawled around the bar, some dancing, some drinking, some talking. Bruce is letting loose with a wildly off-key rendition of “I Think We’re Alone Now.”
But you haven’t left Thor’s side all night. You’ve got a respectable distance between you, and you refuse to drink more than you should. Closing that space seems...wrong. He doesn’t know you, doesn’t know how you feel. Doesn’t know that you physically cannot help but be drawn to him.
You swirl around your second drink, the ice long melted intentionally to dilute the alcohol. You watch Bruce with a smile, trying your hardest to ignore the suffocating heat of the Alpha beside you. He smells like...rain and wind, like the beach and a forest all at once. You want to lean back into him, let him hold you and touch you and smell you, but you know that wouldn’t be right. Or fair.
So you slump forward and focus harder on Bruce’s shoddy footwork.
“Not having fun?” he asks from behind.
You can’t tell if he knows you’re holding back or if he genuinely just thinks you’re a depressed drunk.
“I am,” you say, attempting your best smile and convincing voice. And acting is a huge part of what you do when you go on missions, so you think you’re pretty successful now.
Except that Thor’s smile turns somewhat sad. “C’mon,” he says, and then one of his hands is placed at the small of your back.
Your eyes widen as you ask, “Where?!”
He nods at the dance floor. It seems weird that there’s a dance floor for karaoke night, but you doubt anyone drunk enough truly cares.
“Let’s go dance!” he says, and he sounds so light hearted and genuine that you find you can’t deny him. You can’t even question him anymore.
You slide out of the booth, then wait for him. Thor follows you out, and when he turns back to face you, he takes one of your hands in his.
Something in his face twitches, but you swear you imagined it. In no time at all, he’s back to smiling and pulling you out onto the floor behind him. He finds a place he likes, between two other couples and a handful of single women dancing with their glasses raised. Some of them look back at Thor, but his eyes never leave you.
You don’t see that much, though. All you focus on is his one hand on your hip, the other holding your hand out beside you. Your free hand grips his shoulder as he sways you out of time to the music, neither of you appearing to care.
There’s something electric between you. You know you feel that, but can only hope that he feels it, too. It’s more than imprinting. It’s more than a crush. It’s...connection, you think. He smiles down at you and you smile back and follow his lead through the dance because it’s all that you can think to do. You never want this moment to end.
But then it does, with the song, of course.
Thor lets go of you, except for your hand. You try not to laugh giddily at the thought that, if he didn’t want to be holding onto you, he wouldn’t be. Somehow, you’ve been blessed by the Gods.
He brings you to the bar, orders two more drinks, and then makes sure you’re comfortable on your stool before he sits on his own. You’re not sure you want to keep drinking, but then Thor doesn’t even seem to care about the glasses placed in front of you when they do come. He holds his in his free hand, sure, but his eye is zeroed in on your reaction to him and nothing else.
“I don’t want this to sound weird,” he starts, “but you smell...so familiar.”
You shrug. It’s not that weird, you know. Scents are how everyone distinguishes themselves.
“I’ve been...around. In the background, I guess.”
“What- the whole time?” he asks.
You nod, picking up the drink to take little sips. It’s not too bad that way, thankfully. A simple drink, with plenty of tropical flavoring to make it bearable.
“Well somebody’s gotta keep an eye on day-to-day stuff around the city,” you tease, flashing a smile at him because you really can’t make your face do anything else. Even when you drink again, your cheese are still puffed into a rather gleeful expression, because just being in his presence is enough to light you up.
The feeling leaves you thinking about how pathetic of an Omega you are. But it also...makes you think about how close he is. How he chose to invite you, to dance with you, to drink with you. He could have any Beta or Omega he wants...and he’s looking at you.
He keeps looking at you. The whole night, actually. The only time he’s not really looking is when, four drinks later each, you’re straddling his waist in a corner booth and his hands are roaming the curve of your hips. His one eye is shut, but you can only tell because there’s no flutter of eyelashes on your cheek.
You don’t care, though, because your tongue is tangled with his, and he noises he’s making fill you with warmth and electricity that makes the hairs on the back of your neck and along your arms stand up. The sheer Alpha energy wafting off of him is consuming you beyond comprehension, pushing you closer and closer to a point of no return, but you don’t care.
Five years of pining and it only took introducing yourself to get him in your clutches. You laugh at the thought.
He pulls back, dipping his head to the side because your lips drag to follow his. His eye barely opens, but you’re so close that it doesn’t matter. He can easily see you right where you are.
“What’s so funny, Little One?” he asks, using a name he’s just taken to calling you moments ago.
You bite your bottom lip lazily and shake your head. “Absolutely nothing,” you tell him, breath heavy as it falls across his face.
You’re just about to dive right back in when someone clears their throat. Your body wants you to ignore them, but your mind, as gone as it is, knows better. The authority in the person’s voice screams Alpha, and despite them not being your Alpha, you still heed their warning.
Looking over your shoulder, you find the Valkyrie standing, watching, arms crossed. Possession in her eyes like a bright fire.
You’d thought she wasn’t competition, but maybe you were wrong.
“What happened to your friend?” Thor asks from below you.
“Sent her on her way,” the Valkyrie says. “You should, too.”
Your face drops. Your heart skips a painful beat as you realize...he’s going to listen to her. She is competition, despite being an Alpha herself and despite having had her own source of fun earlier in the night.
Without hesitating any longer, you slide off of Thor’s lap, twisting to sit before pushing yourself out of the booth. He calls your name, and you can’t help but stop, but you don’t turn to face him. You look at the Valkyrie, see the fire still burning in her irises, and scurry away. Out of the bar, onto the street and down a block without thinking twice.
You’re lucky that you’re able to hail a cab without a hitch. You know how lucky you are, but you don’t really feel lucky.
Really, you feel even more pathetic now. Thor had brought you up so high over the course of one night, but a single glower from the Valkyrie and you were reduced to embers, the dying bits of a fire burned long into the night.
You manage to keep it together until you reach your apartment. The second your door is locked, the tears come. You slip out of your shoes and tear your work clothes from your body before shakily managing to get in bed. The covers come up over your head, and only then do you let out a room-shaking sob.
How you could have read the room any differently than to know the Valkyrie would never let you have him, you can’t say. Something about the whole situation didn’t make sense, but the feelings of shame and embarrassment wash over you so strongly that you don’t care to think the night through.
Your little crush would be the end of you. Unrequited Imprinted Omegas, more often than not, became old maids, never mating, suffering through heat after heat until, one day, their bodies aged and decided they no longer needed to bear babes. Then, they were useless to anyone.
Everything hurt as you acknowledged your future.
--
You don’t cry beyond that night. Knowing that your crush is entirely one-sided meant acknowledging that you couldn’t just imagine yourself into mating. You wouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fantasy of being Thor’s Omega anymore.
So, you avoid him. It’s not too hard, since your department is well below the residential floors and no one really comes to visit much. You have work to keep you busy, and plenty of books and television to catch up on at home.
You hate that your biological systems have decided that, if you can’t have Thor, you won’t have anyone. But until you know whether or not this Imprint will fade, you have to accept the possibility that you may end up alone. It wasn’t ideal, but it happened, and you know it does.
A week after karaoke night, you see a doctor. You tell them, reluctantly, about your Imprint. You tell them that you’re certain the feeling is unrequited, that there’s no possible way he formed as quick a connection as you had. You ask to be put on suppressants, so that you won’t have to suffer as much pain during your heats, since you’ve convinced yourself you’ll be the only one getting you through them until you don’t get them anymore.
They give you a higher dose than they normally would for someone who’s never been on suppressants before. But they tell you that they want to help with the emotional impact of an unmatched Imprint. They say the medication will dull the ache, will cloud the thoughts and memories of the person you’re imprinted on. This specific dose and brand of suppressant will make it easier for you to function on a daily basis without falling into depressive spirals.
Within days, you can tell there’s a difference. You’re not anxious about going into work, not constantly thinking about running into Thor again. The image of the Valkyrie’s smoldering eyes doesn’t haunt your dreams as much.
You feel...almost normal. Still a little pathetic, but you’re getting there.
--
On occasion, when the rest of the team is already on mission, you’re recruited for your special abilities.
One of those abilities is flight. Meaning that you have your pilot’s license, so sometimes Tony Stark himself asks if you’ll captain a jet for some of his friends. You almost never turn him down - you can’t remember the last time didn’t eventually regret turning Tony Stark down for anything.
You wish you had this time. You’re stuck on a ship with Bruce Banner, the Valkyrie, and Thor. Their camaraderie distracts you as you attempt to fly the jet, but more than that, Thor’s scent completely engulfs you and doesn’t let you go for a second.
Not even when you’ve landed the jet and let them off to fight whatever Hydra group they’ve found this time.
The longer the smell of him lingers, the more frustrated you become. You try to hold it together, remember that you’re on suppressants and nothing is supposed to happen to you. If you hold your breath and close your eyes, you can actually calm down a little, you think.
But then you take in a deeper breath and you’re filled with him all over again.
“Fuck,” you mutter, shutting your eyes as hard as you can. But that proves to be a bad idea, too, because the second you rest your head against your seat, all you can see is him. You can practically taste his tongue on yours, as if you’d only been kissing him the night before and not nearly a month ago.
You whimper, and it’s the single most lamentable noise you’ve ever heard.
Heat settles in your belly. Slick gathers between your thighs. Blood rushes in your veins so hot and heavy and fast you’re sure you can hear it.
You need release. It doesn’t make sense because you’re not due to be in heat for a week and it shouldn’t feel this intense while you’re on these suppressants, but you don’t think about that right now or, really, even care.
You look over the back of your seat. There’s no noise coming in from the dropped walkway at the opening at the back of the ship. The three of them only left a little while ago, so they won’t be back for some time.
Reaching forward to your control panel, you turn up the volume on your comm, just in case, but also shut off your mic. You can hear them if they call you, but they can’t hear you.
The zipper to your tac pants is too easy to slide down. You roll up your sleeve, reach below the fabric of the pants, and find your folds already drenched. You gather slick on your fingers and reach your clit, rubbing in slow circles at first.
Your eyes shut and all you can see is Thor. All you can smell and feel and taste is Thor.
Your mind wanders. You dream of Thor touching you like this, teasing and pleasing you, beaming when he knows how wet you are for him. You hear imaginary praises that set butterflies free in your stomach, and the taste of your name on his tongue is so real and glorious that you whine as loudly as possible. Your back arches against the metal chair uncomfortably, but you keep going.
Two of your own fingers reach down and enter you, but you almost convince yourself that they’re his. That he wants to see you beneath him, stretching for him, preening and keening for him. You know he’d be bigger than you are, but you are all you have to work with.
You move quickly, hitting your spot before long, pushing against your chair and moaning out into the world as if you’re in your own bed. You clamp your free hand over your mouth, just in case you hit a button or someone comes back without announcing themselves.
The last thing you need - the last thing you could even handle - is being caught in this act.
You clench around your fingers and come messily, but thankfully, entirely alone. It’s the first time, maybe ever, that you’re glad to not have any company.
After giving yourself ample time to calm down, you rush off to the restroom to clean yourself up. Now that you’ve taken care of yourself, you don’t need two Alphas and a Beta to board the ship and immediately know what you’ve done in their absence.
--
It rains for three days straight after that mission. It wasn’t a hard or taxing mission in particular - or so Bruce had explained upon returning to the jet - but something about it had affected Thor enough for him to keep a continuous storm hanging over the city.
You don’t dare ask him about it, though. It’s not any of your business how he feels and what he does.
But then, on a late night after work, he shows up at your apartment. He has the decency to knock, and even more to ask for permission to enter your space.
An Omega’s home is a sacred place. A safe space. So many parts of being an Omega in a large city are dangerous, and a home is meant to be somewhere to escape all of that.
So when an Omega lets an Alpha in after that Alpha has submitted to their will? It’s… huge.
You and Thor both know that. The remarkably surprised look on his face when you allow him into your living room tells you that much.
He looks around as he enters, taking in the picture frames of you and work friends, you and childhood friends, and you and your parents. His mouth hangs open, even and especially when you tell him to get comfortable and take a seat wherever.
You immediately think you shouldn’t give him so much power in your space, but you actually don’t regret it. You offer him a drink and try not to take it personally when he declines politely.
He seems pleased when you set your own glass of water on the coffee table in front of the couch. You sit with one leg bent so you can face him, and you smile without even having to think about it.
“So. What’s up?” you ask him.
He sighs and wrings his hands out. “I think I owe you an apology.”
You wish that were true, but you can’t, for the life of you, figure out what it is he should be sorry for. You’ve gone over everything in your head since that karaoke night and you’ve never once found anything to blame Thor for.
It wasn’t like he knew you. Wasn’t like he owed you an explanation or anything.
You shake your head. “No, Thor, it’s okay-”
“But it’s not. I have so much to say and...I don’t think I know where to begin.”
In the silence that follows, you think about how weird this is. Your feelings for Thor are intense - or were - but you still don’t really know one another. One night of drunken making out does not make a solid foundation for any kind of relationship. He shouldn’t feel like he has anything to apologize for.
You’ve been keeping yourself in check with reality this whole time, you realize. And it’s been helping and hurting - more of the former, thankfully.
But it doesn’t change the fact that he is in your space, working up to some kind of apology for...what, abandoning you? It’s not really like he did that, either, and it was long enough ago that he shouldn’t still feel so sorry.
He’s an Alpha. An extremely good looking Alpha with the appeal of a pirate and the gentle touch of an Angel (which you know from first hand experience now). He could have any Omega or Beta he wants - and you know that’s not the first time you’ve thought so.
More than anything, you kind of want an explanation. But who are you to demand such a thing from him?
He laughs at himself, bringing you back to reality for you. “You’d think in my quest to find you, I would’ve thought of what to say.” He shakes his head and looks down at his lap. “It’s just… Since that night, I haven’t...stopped thinking about you?”
Despite ending the statement as a question, Thor still can’t bring himself to look at you.
You sigh a little sadly and tell him, “It’s been weeks since that night. And we were just on a mission together-”
And he nods, effectively cutting your thoughts off at the root. “I know I’ve disappointed you. I could tell on the jet. I hesitated to come out here, to you, because I know I’ve done wrong by you.”
Something inside you yells out to take his hand and comfort him, but you fight the impulse. It wouldn’t be appropriate, despite your nature telling you otherwise.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been granted the leisure to have thoughts of this nature, (Y/N). That’s no excuse to mistreat any unbonded Omega, but it’s true in any case.” He smooths out the denim of his jeans, but doesn’t say more.
So you grip the back of your couch for a little grounding of courage before asking him, “If you’re so concerned with treating unbonded Omegas right, why did you buy me drinks? Invite me to dance? Let me…” Despite your best efforts, a lump forms in your throat. You try to push past it by clearing your throat, but can’t manage to finish the last question. You go on with, “Why let all of that night happen the way it did if you were already taken?”
At that, he finally turns back to you, his brow arched in a question over his one eye. “What do you mean, taken?”
“Why hide it, Thor? The Valkyrie is clearly better suited to your needs.” You think only of preparedness for battle when you say it. “Who am I to keep you away from her?”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, as if he hasn’t a clue.
Anger bubbles in your stomach, but you try to keep it contained when you say, “She’s the one that came over and separated us. She told you to get rid of me. What other explanation is there for that?”
“(Y/N),” he says softly. So softly that you can’t not look up at him again. “Val and I are not bonded. We’re not together. Neither one of us is taken by each other, or anyone else for that matter.”
“But she-”
“Was looking out for you. I don’t know if you remember much about our...tryst, but I was far too close to...well, to be frank, taking you right there in that booth.”
You are...stunned. This is not what you expected at all. And you have nothing to say - your mind is, inconveniently, blank as you try to process his explanation.
“Val is hard to read. I can see where you might’ve come from to think otherwise. She only wanted me to release you to keep you safe, in a very public setting, with Alphas all over the place.”
“And I ran-”
“I regret not going after you, at least to make sure you made it home safely.”
The sincerity in his voice is echoed in his eye. You now feel a little bad, since you’re still keeping a huge secret from him when he’s given you every explanation you could need. But...how do you tell an Alpha like Thor that you’ve only recently been suppressing your longstanding feelings for him, and that those longstanding feelings are more than just feelings?
You decide you won’t. Or can’t. Not yet. His thinking of you, of seeking you out, is not equal to being Imprinted. Telling him now will not help anything.
Besides, your meds are helping. Even with him so close you could touch now, you still don’t feel the same dread you had before you’d approached him the first time - dread caused by anxiety over a possible rejection.
You can’t set yourself up for that so early on.
“Is...that all you wanted to say?” you ask. If he gets up and leaves now, then you know it’s done and over. You’ll do what you have to in order to move on.
But if he stays…
You wait, and eventually, he shakes his head.
“It’s not.” He shifts to face you like you’ve been facing him and clears his throat. “I’d regret leaving you now if I didn’t ask if you would like to show me around town one night. My friends are sometimes helpful but mostly have their own haunts, so I’ve mostly only seen a handful of the same bars.”
--
You take him to Times Square, just for the hell of it. You take him to see Wicked and he cries through intermission, drawing the wary eyes of more than a few other Alphas. But he hardly seems to care.
You take him to a 24-hour diner after the show and down coffee and hashbrowns and pancakes galore, and you laugh and talk and enjoy his presence like you had at karaoke night. He’s cordial and kind, not like many other Alphas you know. You’re more surprised that you’re the only Omega you know that’s Imprinted on him than the fact that you are still Imprinted on him.
How are you the only Omega not willing to let this moment pass?
When he brings you back to your apartment, you don’t want him to leave. You try to invite him in, but he shakes his head, though he doesn’t appear to be able to stop smiling at you.
“I won’t repeat my mistakes from the bar,” he says, only moving through the motions of attempting to pull his hand from yours. But there’s no real effort there. No muscle behind his actions.
You know if he really wanted to leave, he’d have no problem pulling you off of him.
“Just come in. We can talk, that’s all. I just don’t want this to end.”
“And neither do I-”
“Then come in,” you say, really, truly trying to get him to budge.
He doesn’t. But he does smile, even laugh at your attempt. “I’m not going to move this too quickly. I told you I don’t believe in mistreating Omegas.”
“You’d be mistreating me more by leaving now.”
He seems to pause at that, and you take the opportunity to tug on his hand in yours. You must take him by surprise, because he’s jostled over your threshold and into your living room. He laughs at that, too. You shut the door and lock it - but the lock is simple and on the inside of the door, so you both know he’d be able to unlatch it if he truly wants to leave.
When he doesn’t do anything other than stand up straight again, you move closer to him.
“We can just...watch a movie. Have some popcorn or something,” you say.
“It’s so late,” he tries. And it is, but there’s a distinct lack of emphasis behind his words.
“All the more reason for you to not be wandering the streets of New York, all alone and unfamiliar with the grid system, as you are.” You smirk up at him, knowing that, since he’s already here, you’re going to win this debate. “Nothing has to happen. And...if it does-”
“Which it won’t,” he says, eyebrows raising nearly up to his hairline.
“We just won’t let it ruin this.”
“But nothing is going to happen. I’m only going to stay if you agree to that.”
He drives a hard bargain, you think. And while half of you wants something to happen so badly, the more logical part that’s been bringing you back to reality over the last five years reminds you that his worry is legitimate. That just because nothing is going to happen tonight, that does not mean something won’t happen eventually.
“Okay, okay,” you say. “I accept your terms.” And then, before you can convince yourself otherwise, you stretch up on your tiptoes to press a small kiss to the soft hairs of his beard, right along his cheek. When you set back on your heels again, you smile and tell him to get comfortable. “My movies are in the rack next to the TV. Pick one and I’ll be right back with a snack.”
--
It nearly breaks your heart when he tells you he won’t spend your next heat with you.
You waste five whole days in bed, rolling back and forth, eating ice cream and cold pizza when you’re not weighed down by an entire wholesale-sized pack of Icy Hot wraps around your abdomen. It’s honestly not your worst heat, so you’re finally glad you’re taking suppressants.
All you really want, though, is Thor with you. Holding you, caring for you in every way an Alpha is meant to during heats. Sometimes you dream about him so viscerally that you search for him when you first wake up, but quickly remember his gentle but firm rejection when you’d asked him to stay.
At the end of the fifth day, you clean everything. Every surface in your apartment shines and sparkles and has no trace of a heat whatsoever before you even dare to call him.
He comes over for breakfast the next morning. You’ve got two more days off from work - a preliminary statute to all Omega contracts under Stark Industries - and since you’re sure your heat is over, you and Thor both agree it’s safe for him to come over.
But you’re quiet. Unusually so. From the moment he shows up, you’re not yourself. He’s so used to holding your hand now, to you cuddling up against him, and he knows something is wrong.
When he asks as you’re preparing eggs, you let out a deep sigh.
“I just… I really wanted your help over the last couple of days. That’s it.” You know there’s no use in lying to him, especially not on top of the secret you’re still keeping.
No, you still haven’t told him about your Imprint. It’s too embarrassing to think about now. Maybe there will be a good time to talk about it, but you don’t think it’s now.
He doesn’t say anything until you finish with the eggs. When you bring them to the table and immediately turn around to continue cooking, he stands up and gently grips your hand. You try to keep going, but he calls your name so softly, you nearly melt back into him. But you stop yourself before you fall too far.
“I have one strict rule for myself and many, many smaller, more specific rules follow it. First and foremost, I protect those who cannot protect themselves.” He tugs on you gently, clearly wanting you to face him, but you stand your ground.
“It wasn’t your protection I needed, Thor.”
“No, you’re right. You needed to be protected from me.”
He must’ve known that would get you to look at him. He seems to be anticipating the incredulous, offended glare you send at him.
“One of those more specific rules I’ve set for myself is that I do not share a bed with an unbonded Omega, for the first time, during their heat. I will not stoop to the level of the majority of Alphas, who only seek out their own pleasure.”
“So you’d rather let me writhe in pain for days instead.”
He sighs, practically growls from deep in his chest, but he doesn’t look or smell or feel angry to you. Frustrated, perhaps, but to be fair, you are too.
“Of course I don’t want that. Of course I wanted to be there for you. But what kind of man - what kind of Alpha would I be if I took advantage of that pain? What happens to this-” he holds your intertwined hands up in front of your face - “if I act selfishly on your discomfort?”
On the one hand, you want to tell him that it isn’t as if you weren’t begging for his company. But...on the other, you kind of get it. And you’ve known Thor long enough now to really hear what he’s saying: that this isn’t just about his comfort, but yours. That he wants to take this courtship at your comfort speed, not his.
You don’t think you were wrong to ask him to help you. But at least now, you’re not really upset with him for turning you down, either.
--
You have a lot of important, heavy conversations in succession. You draw lines and create boundaries, come to compromises and agreements over a series of weeks and long, drawn-out dates.
And after each one of these dates, you feel so much better than you have since he’d come back from Asgard. Or with what was left of Asgard.
Thor doesn’t think you’re a pathetic Omega. He thinks you’re attentive and sweet, affectionate and maybe a little over eager. But he likes that. He’s told you, often, that he likes seeing you light up when something excites you. He reminds you how long it’s been since he’s been able to focus on taking moments like those in, and he appreciates every one of them.
You know pushing off telling him the Big Secret will only complicated things later on. And with how open you’ve become with one another, you don’t really want to continue keeping it from him.
You wait until after a movie ends, then turn to face him, practically curled into his side on your couch. You tell him that you have something to say, something important. He bends the arm across the back of the couch and rests his forehead against his fist, one of his clear signs that he’s listening.
“So...that day, when I just showed up in the common area?”
“Yes?”
You want to get the words out. They struggle to fight against the lump in your throat, because saying this is…weird and you know it. You manage to get out, “Well, I didn’t just show up.”
He laughs at that. “I assumed as much, (Y/N). I never took you as one gifted with teleportation.”
And you know it’s a joke, but it doesn’t sit well in your tumultuous stomach. You try to brush off the sick feeling that threatens to take over, knowing it’ll only get worse the longer you drag this out.
“Before you left after Sokovia, I was hanging around the tower. I think...I think it happened at that party, before Ultron showed up.”
You can’t meet his eye. He must feel the nervous energy flowing from you now, because he pushes hair behind your ear, then lets his hand make a slow trail down your arm until he can hook his fingers between yours.
The warmth of his palm reminds you that this is necessary. That, for this courtship to work the way you want it to, you have to be honest with Thor. Ask for forgiveness for not being open about it before, but don’t keep keeping it from him.
“I...don’t know. I saw you at the bar at some point, talking to Steve and Natasha. I guess you looked over at me or just...in my direction or something, but the second you glanced my way, I felt it.”
His lack of response, lack of question, makes you wonder if he’s following. If he is, and he’s this quiet, you think that can’t be a good thing.
But you have to get it out. The exact words, feelings.
“It was like I’d gone fishing and my hook caught in you but you wouldn’t come when I pulled or let the line go. Like every light in the room shone on you and you alone. And- Gods, this all sounds crazy, I know.” You force yourself to look at him again. His expression is blank, but attentive. “But I did- I Imprinted that night. And I- I hoped it would go away. I’ve read about Imprints that fade over time. And you left Earth for two years, so I waited, day after day, for that...tethered feeling to just go away.”
“It didn’t,” he says.
Slowly, you shake your head and smile sadly at him. “So that night, I thought I might try to do something about it, you know? See if I could, I don’t know, get it to go away if I looked at you or something. Never actually heard or read anything about that working before, but I thought Hey, why the hell not? But, Thor, I just wanted you to know that, through it all, I never once let myself believe it was mutual. I-”
“Why?” he asks.
You’re stunned for a moment. You stare at him, dumbfounded and confused. “Wh-why?” you ask back.
“Why would you convince yourself it wasn’t mutual?”
You blink. And blink. And blink again.
“I-I mean. You’re...Thor. And I-”
“You’re (Y/N),” he says as simply as it is true.
“Well, did you Imprint that night too?” you ask him, eyes widening in curiosity and possibility. You even lean a little further into him, hoping for a specific answer but knowing it’s probably not what you’re going to get. The Gods don’t like you that much...do they?
Thor sighs, but his smile returns. “It’s not...quite the same for Alphas, I believe. If what Stark says about him and Pepper is anything to go off of, of course.”
You don’t really know that much about an Alpha Imprinting, now that you think about it. So you wait for him to explain with bated breath, heart stopping every few seconds to skip an anxious beat.
“From what I know, it’s less of a tethering on our end and more of...being tethered. We feel the pull, but more so as a need to protect. A desire to provide for the Omega who’s chosen us. The whole...system, I think, is meant to pull two people together. Sometimes it’s not perfect, but sometimes,” he drifts, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. He kisses the soft skin there, never breaking eye contact with you. “Sometimes it works out.”
“But what about all that time between when I Imprinted and karaoke night? There’s no way I was on your mind for...years like that.” You didn’t mention that he’d famously courted another Omega before you, and that sometimes, even now, Stark employees asked about her when he was around.
“I told you, it’s been so long since I could even consider this.” His hand squeezes yours gently. “I always felt a calling to return to Midgard. Maybe after that night, you were a part of that call. When you found me and Val that day, it was like...like I’d been given answers to questions I didn’t even know I had to ask. Your presence made sense. And that need to protect you only got stronger after you ran that night.”
“Did you know then?” you ask him. “You’d said you hadn’t stopped thinking about me after that night. Was it because you knew I’d Imprinted?”
He takes a second to think, then shrugs. “Maybe. I think I had an inkling, but more than that, I was just following my instincts. Waiting for that tug to come, to help me find you and see you again.”
The more you think on it, the more you realize that this is just...how Thor functions. He’s not a normal Alpha, so why would anything about your relationship with him be normal? He’s told you many times how lonely he’s been the last few years, how unavailable he’d been to Omegas like you before now. How being back on Earth, back with the Avengers, is really what’s given him the time and energy to focus on things outside of the care and safekeeping of his kingdom.
Because, really, they’re not a Kingdom anymore. It’s a whole complicated mess full of legal and international political jargon that you don’t like bringing into your home, so for now, you put that thought to the back of your mind, knowing you’ll come back to it later.
“So, to be clear,” you finally say to him, relaxing against his side again. “You’re...not mad at me for keeping this from you for so long?”
He chuckles. “Why would I be mad? Honestly, I’m rather flattered.”
You’d turn to face him fully, only you’re far too comfortable where you are now. The validation of your feelings blooms a new affection for Thor deep within you, and you silently thank the Gods for giving him to you.
Bashfully, you tell him, “Some Alphas think Imprinting is just a myth. A lie Omegas use to tie them down and force them into bonding.” You know that’s not how Thor operates, but he asked. “I didn’t think you’d be one of those Alphas, but I was still nervous and, honestly, kind of embarrassed to admit it. It’s not...easy to admit that I didn’t really get a say in picking you.”
Without letting go of your hand, he wraps you up entirely in his arms. Thor is warm and huge and so fucking comfortable. He smells, frankly, to die for, and he’s...all yours. Somehow. At least for this moment.
“You don’t regret it, do you?” he asks softly, lips in your hair now.
“Of course not. I just, really, didn’t want you to think I was making it up, using Imprinting as a trap or something.”
“I’d never.”
“I know. If I regret anything, it’s not telling you sooner.” You tuck your face into the safe, inviting little nook between his shoulder and jaw.
The two of you are just a tangle of limbs and two steady heartbeats. The only other words spoken between you for some time are a whispered, tiny, “I forgive you,” from Thor, but you can tell from the scent he gives off and the kisses against your hair that he doesn’t really think there was anything to forgive in the first place.
--
Thor is the single most patient Alpha you’ve ever met, let alone been with. He waits for you to come around, to ask for things other Alphas might just demand of their Omegas. But he’s different, and you know it’s because of the whole not having been able to think about romance in a while thing he constantly brings up.
You like this little transition of power. It’s nothing, really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in your home, it’s kind of...everything at the same time.
By Thor letting you make the moves, he’s consistently telling you that you make the rules. You decide when you’re comfortable letting him in, staying the night. He trusts that you’ll respect his status as the Alpha, and in that trust, he gives you something you didn’t even really know you were missing.
Freedom.
It’s almost chilling to know that. But instead of running from something so gigantic, you run toward it.
You woo him by ordering his favorite food one night, ply him with just a little bit of the ale he likes from the corner store (not like it can get him drunk anyway), and sit far too close to eat when there’s a perfectly good chair across the table from him. Neither of you care, though.
Normally, you two sit on the couch and watch movies after dinner.
Not tonight.
You lead him by the hand to your room, ignoring the couch and the television and everything in between because none of it is important. When he asks where you’re taking him, you don’t answer other than to giggle and open the door to your bedroom without a second thought.
You have no doubts. No second guesses. You are absolutely certain you want this.
So you don’t hesitate to pull him into your room. Thor stops short after you’ve shut the door, but he just looks around your space. Wonder and curiosity line his eyes, and his hand loosens around yours as he takes everything in.
If an Omega’s home is sacred, their bedroom is the most protected place in the home. It’s a place only those an Omega trusts fully get to see. So you let Thor take in everything - the dark blue-gray walls, the golden star stickers placed in cascading patterns all around the room, the matching blue and gold bedding, your desk against the far wall with just a stack of papers, your computer, and a lamp on it - and feel proud that he seems to be in awe.
You might never know if you moved closer to his side or if he pulled you against him, but suddenly, you’re practically clinging to his torso. He looks down at you and smiles, baby blues shining like an afternoon storm.
“This all…” he gestures to the room at large, “feels very you.”
“You like it?” you ask, chin against his shoulder as you look up at him.
He shakes his head, but it’s his unwavering smile that keeps you from worrying. “Love it,” he whispers, lowering his face so his lips barely touch yours.
Your mind wraps itself around the true meaning of his words. The energy he’s giving off is electric - excited and relaxed and warm and a little frantic - and you melt into it. You press your lips up to his, and he breathes you in deep.
In what feels like an instant, he hooks his hands under your knees and lifts you until your knees are at his sides. He walks you both to the bed and turns to sit on the edge of your mattress with you in his lap, calves against the sides of his thighs.
You start to pull back and take in the position he has you in because...it’s so...not Alpha behavior. Everyone Alpha you’ve been with before has pinned you down and taken you their way, and you’ve been just fine with that. There’s nothing wrong with following one’s nature, you know, as long as everyone involved consents.
But this...you on top…
You almost move to lay on the mattress yourself, because the idea of being nearly crushed by Thor’s weight is so enticing.
But then his hands slide up and around you. He pulls you closer, until your chests are pressed to one another with no space between them. His fingers dig into your back a bit, just to be as close to you as possible, and your breath gets caught in your throat.
The feeling you get when you’re beneath an Alpha - a feeling of trust and comfort and being protected - fills you. It deepens when you, slowly, reach out and wrap your arms around Thor’s broad shoulders. His scent clogs your brain, and you whine needily because of it.
“You okay?” he asks breathily, eyes heavy-lidded as he watches you carefully.
You nod. “Just...not used to this, I guess.”
“You want me to-”
“No,” you whisper. Your hips stutter to make your point. “No, I like it.”
His smile broadens somehow. “Good,” he responds. “Me too.”
You let yourself think that he’s unlike other Alphas one more time. And then you lose yourself in the best fathomable way.
Your clothes are gone in a flash - before you can even recognize how - and your skin gets hot, almost like you’re in heat when you’re not. You know you’re not because there isn’t an inherent, desperate desire for Thor within you that springs forth painfully. Every sensation of lust and want and admiration is totally normal, coming from a place of trust, knowing you’ve both earned it from one another.
He was right to want to wait for this. There’s no pain at all, actually. No annoying nagging of your internal clock reminding you that you’re of ripe reproducing age.
There’s just you and Thor and heat and fun and freedom. And that combination makes his touch all the more sweet, all the more intense against your back.
Maybe you’re not in heat, but you’re still positively drenched for him. He’s long and wide, but still presses into you without much resistance. Your walls are tight around him, and you feel every inch of his cock stretch you out, delicious seconds of tension fading until you’re seated fully on him.
When you’re able to look him in the eye again, all you see reflected in his one shiny orb is a culmination of all the things you’re feeling, too. Words you can’t say yet, only partially because you’re out of breath. Things you’re saving for another day, because right now, all that matters is Thor’s hands on your hips, raising you up off his lap and back down again.
You like being in control of the position, you realize, but you also like when he takes the lead and pounds into you, rendering most of your body useless and totally at his mercy. He’s rough without being aggressive, just tight fingers and loud moaning and tense teeth against your own. He’s, truly, not like any other Alpha you know or have ever known.
Pressure builds within you, increases when one of his hands slides down your body until his fingers find your clit. He rubs small circles into your wet, sensitive skin, and you pull your mouth from his because kissing is nearly impossible when your chest feels this tight. Breathing isn’t coming easily, but you’re not complaining because you’re positive that you’re ascending to another plane of existence.
A gate breaks open. Pleasure - hot, enormous waves of it - washes over you, engulfing you like Thor’s arms do. Everything is him and this lovely, dirty, star-shattering feeling inside of you. You cry out his name. His teeth find your shoulder and dig in - not too far from where he might leave a mark one day, you briefly think - and the pain adds to the lofty, intense sensations rolling through you.
Your walls squeezing him bring Thor over - his knot swells, despite not being in a rut. He fills you with his cum, which you know won’t do anything until you’re off the blockers. For now, for once, you’re kind of grateful for them.
He goes into Total Alpha mode when you both calm down. Thor turns you both, lays you on your comforter, and kisses you tenderly to distract you before he pulls out. The distraction only works so much, but you only whine because you already miss the feeling of him inside you. You relax beneath the satisfactory gleam in his eye, one that seems to promise that he’s not going anywhere, that that feeling will return soon enough.
You whine again when he backs off the bed, but he only chuckles at the sound, shaking his head as he heads to your bathroom. You listen as he rummages around, turns the sink on and off, and finally returns with one wet washcloth and one dry one.
“Is this you calling it a night?” you ask, a little weakly because your body’s more exhausted than you’d like to admit.
He gently presses the wet washcloth to the spots along your thighs were your release has mixed with his and spread. “We have work in the morning,” is his response.
You don’t really like it, but he’s right. If you’d had the next...day or two off, you’d keep going, never leave the bed if that was what Thor wanted. It’s absolutely what you want.
But it’s already kind of late, and indulging on a work night doesn’t entirely seem smart.
“But, just for the record,” you try again, unconsciously spreading your legs further for him, “we could go again if we wanted to, right?” You bite your bottom lip, but that doesn’t hide the downright smirk you’re giving him.
His matches yours. “Of course.”
You let him clean you up in relative silence, satisfied with that answer. You almost...wish you were in heat - the both of you could call out of work and stay here, go as many times as your body required. But you know his rule - his only rule - and you don’t regret sticking to it.
When he gets in bed beside you, you realize that you won’t be needing the comforter below you. His skin his scalding, and he insists on holding you as close as he can get you. You’re still sticky from earlier sweat, and you know more is to come if he’s going to be so close all night, but you somehow don’t seem to mind.
A little while later, before your eyes start to feel too heavy, you sigh and finally tell Thor, “I’m on suppressants, you know.”
He nods. “I do.” When you give him a questioning, confused look, he shrugs. “I found them on the counter one night. I wanted to ask about them, but…”
You face him and scratch the tip of his chin with a single pointer finger. “But?”
“You have every right to choose to be on them or not, (Y/N). And I couldn’t fathom a way of bringing up the subject with you that didn’t innately make me sound controlling.”
“So you’re okay with me taking them then?”
“I…” He takes a second, but seems to fight a war with himself. You can’t stop your heart from sinking in the stretch of his silence. “I’m an Alpha. I try not to think of medications like that in this way, but it does almost feel as though you take them to keep me at arm’s length.”
Maybe at first you think. But not for the reasons you’re considering.
“No,” you whisper instead. “No, I started taking them when I thought Val was your mate. When I thought I was just some dumb Omega with a biological crush on you but had no chance of ever getting- well, where I am now, I guess.”
“And now?”
You can’t help but frown because your answer is...not as meaningful as you’d wish it was. “Now I just-” You sigh. “They’re just a habit now. And I have to say, they were kind of a godsend during my last heat.”
You know you didn’t say that to make Thor feel worse, but his own frown deepens anyway. You shake your head.
“I just mean that fighting the pain alone was nearly impossible before. But last time, it was bearable. Doesn’t mean it has to be that way every time, though.”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
You give him a small, hopeful smile. “I can be persuaded to stop taking them. They were just a way to protect myself when I thought you were already taken.”
Something stirs in him so quickly, you nearly miss it. But it’s not fleeting, and you can tell by the slow buildup of something against your leg. His smile returns, stretching out across his glorious face at the same pace.
“Funny how those things work themselves out, isn’t it?” he asks.
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'Song to Song' Review: Terrence Malick's Weird Legend Only Gets Weirder
Last night, Black Lips hosted a screening of Terrence Malick's unreleased Ryan Gosling/Rooney Mara/Michael Fassbender/Natalie Portman/Cate Blanchett/Val Kilmer/Patti Smith/Red Hot Chili Peppers/Iggy Pop/Black Lips movie, which was shot by Emmanuel Lubezki (The Revenant, Gravity), and I'm pretty sure the fact that the theater wasn't totally packed says a lot more about where we're headed as a culture than the actual film, which is actually kind of good. Before I go any further, you should watch the trailer for Song to Song, which you probably haven't seen yet (despite a near-billion-dollar cast in terms of celebrity net worth).
As trailers go, this one's just fine. It's more or less the pacing and tone of the film, it gives an honest picture of the characters without lazily zeroing in on their emotional climaxes, and it gives just enough away to make you want to weigh two or so hours against maybe never knowing what happens to them. And that's true of the actual story, too, which the film's website sums up in just over the length of a tweet (generally the sign of a movie that, too, is just fine): "In this modern love story set against the Austin, TX music scene, two entangled couples chase success through a rock 'n' roll landscape of seduction and betrayal." Nothing too challenging here, nothing that you'd expect anyone to call "Fucking terrible" outright, right? Except that's exactly what the guy sitting next to me did, the second that the lights rose and he could be sure someone would hear him.
Well, I heard him, and I hope he's reading this: You, sir, are wildly incorrect. You're also a dick.
Rooney Mara. Via Facebook
Dicks, actually, made a strong showing at the newly-reopened Roxy Cinema. From the flood of people who evacuated the cozy theater before the Atlanta rockers—on the eve of launching their new album, Satan's Graffiti or God's Art?, no less—could even begin their Q and A, you might expect the film to have some type of Irreversible-y can't-look/can't-look-away moments, or lay claim to an indefensible existential viewpoint akin to a Lars von Trier Nazi joke. You'd think they found something in Song to Song that was so absolutely objectionable that they'd write a note and address it to Malick himself. But they won't, belabored shit-talk-fests at shitty bars afterwards notwithstanding. It's because they're dicks.
The Black Lips. Photo: Lance Laurence
Same goes for the music festival audiences in the film (ok, big surprise there) who were apparently angry enough about the fact that Val Kilmer appeared on stage alongside Black Lips at Fun Fun Fun Fest during Song to Song's production that they sent the band hate mail on Facebook and Myspace, as Cole Alexander and Jared Swilley explained during the Q and A immediately after.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling them dicks because they didn't like something that I thought was all-around just fine, either. It's because of the same reason why searching "#blacklips" on Instagram brings up more people pouting in black lipstick than pictures of the only band still holding the torch for rock and roll since The Strokes' silent divorce. It's because we live in a world of raging narcissists for whom the mere idea of something that isn't hashtaggable is a direct affront to all that signals social status, seems worth sharing, and is just challenging enough to generate a handful of smarmy, fake-incredulous thinkpieces.
Ryan Gosling. Via Facebook
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that, to a certain degree, these people who called Song to Song a "Humiliating Wreck of a Movie" are correct: despite, or perhaps because of, its star-studded-ness, it is profoundly humble; humiliating, even, for a star like Christian Bale, who was cut from the film entirely. It is surely a wreck compared to the original eight-hour version Malick is said to have intended. But what the film does in form and content so surpasses the tired modes of standard Hollywood storytelling that I'm inclined to call it something else entirely (but I won't, because then I would be being a dick, too). Song to Song is not a film about music, it is music, improvised in a way only a true master of his craft could make.
Michael Fassbender. Via Facebook
In between stories about the six-plus years it took to make the film, teaching Ryan Gosling how to shotgun a beer, and giving Val Kilmer a herpes scare, Black Lips spoke of Song to Song in a way that very simply explains why I think the film has merit, and why critics, if it does ever get a theatrical release, will inevitably tear it to pieces in the hopes of exposing the fallible human at the heart of such unfuckwithable films as Badlands and Days of Heaven: "When movies are long and slow, sometimes it's like a challenge," said Cole Alexander, "but it also feels more realistic sometimes, because life can be kind of boring. [Malick] kind of just went into that a little bit. It feels realistic in that way, like the nature of a day passing by."
If you're the kind of person who complains about waking up in the morning, you're not gonna love this movie.
Natalie Portman. Via Facebook
Black Lips' Satan's Graffiti or God's Art? is out today on VICE Records. Listen to it here: Apple Music | Spotify | iTunes | Google
Full disclosure: I'm hosting a screening of Gummo tonight at the Roxy Cinema. Click here for more information.
Related:
25 Years Later, The 'Reservoir Dogs' Reunite at Tribeca Film Festival
Delightful Short Doc Shows Everything Less-Than-Delightful About Sundance
How Olivier Assayas' Unofficial "International Trilogy" Did the Impossible
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