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#everyone thinks your dumb because your whole existence is being the comedic relief
mainsamayhoon · 5 months
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I just realised "my liberation notes" is an ode to the youngest daughters
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fabuloustrash05 · 3 months
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ROTTMNT Love Interests Headcanon
If the Rise boys were ever given love interest, here’s who I headcanon they should’ve been and what their dynamic would be like:
Note: Raph and Mikey's love interest are my OCs/HCs of a Rise version of existing characters.
Leo’s love interest would be Yuichi
Leo met Yuichi through Hueso, who Yuichi works for as a new waiter for his restaurant in the Yokai city
Suddenly Leo constantly wants to go to Hueso's restaurant for lunch/dinner and his brother quickly figure out it's only because he wants to gawk at the cute new waiter.
Leo is overly flirty but Yuichi doesn’t notice him, not that he’s uninterested, it’s just he has lots of admirers, so sadly Leo in the beginning blends into the crowd.
It’s not until Leo takes a more forward approach by hitting on him with a cheesy pick up line, then proceeds to trip over himself and be humiliated by everyone, except Yuichi. He found the act endearing and Leo has now caught his eye.
Yuichi finds Leo annoying at first, but also charming/endearing thought he hates to admit it
*flirts* *flirts back* “I was not expecting this outcome, tf I do now??”
Leo tells a dumb joke and Yuichi thinks he’s a comedic genius.
They spar together, exchanging sword fighting tips/techniques
Hueso is their third wheel
Raph’s love interest would be Mona Lisa
My HC on how they first met (I guess you could say she really FELL for him ;D )
Mona is obviously in love with him but Raph is painfully oblivious. Everyone knows she likes him except Raph.
“She’s just a really good friend!” *said "friend" is wearing a shirt that says "I <3 Raphael"*
Raph would be very obvious to Mona's flirtatious actions towards him and not realize he's being hit on. Everyone knows Mona likes him, except Raph himself.
It took Raph a whole year to realize he liked Mona too. His bros can't comprehend his obviously stupidity when he asked his bros if he should ask Mona out and says he's worried she doesn't like him back (Raph end up freaking out and nearly faints when his bros tell him Mona has liked him the entire time)
She fell first, but he fell harder
For a while, Raph is conflicted with asking her out for a few reasons:
1) “What if she lost interest in me and I’m too late?!”
2) He feels he’s too busy as the oldest to have a relationship but his brothers encourage him to ask her out because him having a GF does not mean he’s being selfish for doing something for himself that makes him happy.
3) Mona’s got an overprotective father who hates the idea of his daughter dating. He liked Raph better when he was just her friend, but when Raph started having feelings for Mona he became a threat.
Eventually Raph does asks Mona out and she says yes! They become boyfriend and girlfriend shortly after their first date.
Everyone feels a wave of relief and satisfaction when these two FINALLY get together! "IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!" But everyone soon realized that they are annoying as a lovey dovey couple, "Stop shoving your happiness in our faces!!"
Donnie’s love interest would be Kendra
Partners in crime, on again off again romance
Fake dating trope in the beginning with them both having plans to steal each others tech, “I’ll woo him/her and when they’re off his/her guard, I’ll robbed them!”
They actually start to fall in love with each other, but then the truth comes out and they “break up”
Now constantly bicker anytime they see each other, blaming the other for the betrayal and “break up”
Check out my post on how I HC they first started “dating”
*Cue “True Love” by P!nk*
Argues then proceeds to make out then argue again
They are the first couple to get together, but them being really officially together is a secret. They secretly date after their first "break up" and everyone doesn't find out about them until much later on, to which Donnie just mentions he's actually dating Kendra so nonchalantly while everyone just looks on at him with shock. This is after Leo x Yuichi and Raph x Mona became couples.
Mikey’s love interest would be Renet
Renet is a human orphan who grew up in the Yokai City and is practicing to become a witch, specifically a time witch!
They met when Mikey was in the Yokai city and came across Renet when she was practicing her magic spells (aka she fell on top of him when practicing a teleportation spell)
Everyone struggles to figure out if they are dating or just REALLY close.
Best friends, goofy dummies who eventually fall in love with one another slowly over time
Innocent young love. A playground crush.
Mikey hangs out with her a lot because he likes her. He doesn’t realize he likes her and no one tries to tell him cause they thought he knew he liked her
Act like a couple loooooong before they even become a couple.
“Are you two dating or just friends?” “Yes”
That tweet of that girl asking her bf if they are dating (they are living together and have a kid) cause they never confirmed they are boyfriend and girlfriend, so when she asked the bf he responds by fist pumping his chest, giving her a peace sign and saying "we're just Bros"
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I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1
lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.
im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.
Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.
So… a disclaimer before I begin… 
I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…
If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)
This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 
which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.
Now onto the fun stuff
I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 
AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).
So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.
The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.
 i don’t give a solid fuck. 
Not one. 
Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 
And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.
This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 
AND BOI is it a miss. 
SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)
25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 
24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,
28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,
37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,
41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,
44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,
47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,
48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,
51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,
66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,
67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,
68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,
69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,
70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,
71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,
73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)
 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,
New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,
That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 
Too bad it means nothing.
Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)
Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.
Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 
I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 
How’s that for a ‘first’ post?
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onepunchmiss · 5 years
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OPM s2e12 Live Blog
“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”
The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin. 
As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic. 
Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???
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GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD 
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Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ  HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH
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THIS 
IS WHY
WE STAN GAROU
HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC
oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED 
WAIT 
NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2 
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I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;
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Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????
FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO 
OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO 
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LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS
oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP
NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE??? 
WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT  THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?
oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.
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This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t 
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“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”
Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM 
HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF 
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE 
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ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M
OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP 
Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there 
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ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD 
THIS IS SO BAD ASS
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS
Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING 
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THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT
oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then
WAIT
I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM 
oh no 
oh no
im crying oh no
this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no 
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He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him. 
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Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED 
Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg
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Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK
asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love 
Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK 
Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK
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The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB 
IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD 
The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no 
NO 
HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo  ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka
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KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T 
WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did 
Wha
wh
fkin cliffhanger no please no 
I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway
You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did. 
Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.
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confusable · 6 years
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My thoughts on Voltron Season 7
Spoilers ahead you’ve been warned
Also these are just my opinions so keep that in mind
Honestly ever since San Diego Comic-Con I have been so excited for the new season, probably more than any other season before this. I have to say that maybe half of my disappointment can be blamed on myself because I hyped it up so much in my head but then again the Voltron producers are a large part of why I got excited in the first place.
Of course it’s their show and they can write it however they want but if you promise something to the fans and fail to deliver you can’t really expect a good reaction.
I’m sure I’m not alone in saying the biggest disappointment of the season was the “LGBT representation”. And I say this in quotation marks because I’m not really sure you could call it that. Adam and Shiro which everyone was psyched to see was basically non existent.
How do you hype up the idea of a mixed race gay couple only to kill off half of the couple the second he sets foot on screen. Then there’s the whole thing with Ezor and Zethrid. Where did that come from?!
Their relationship felt forced and very last minute and the same could be said about Keith and Axca and Lance and Allura.
Speaking of Lance and Allura I will admit right now that I am a Klance shipper and this could just be my biased mind talking but I would be really disappointed if they ended up being endgame.
I know that Lance has been crushing on Allura for the entire show but I think it’s been clear that the feelings aren’t reciprocated. But then suddenly out of nowhere she has a crush on him?!
If Voltron producers plan on using my boy as a rebound I am not here for it.
The ending of the show is probably my biggest annoyance besides the whole LGBT rep thing. The ending felt rushed and very jam packed. That final boss robot really came out of nowhere and was honestly kind of unnecessary if you ask me. I know they needed a way to bring the Altean in which is probably what the entirety of the next season will be about but I still thing it was weird.
I actually thought that the next season would have to do with the paladins defeating Haggar and ending the Galra reign but I guess she’s gone now which is really random.
We never saw any of those Keith and Lance or Lance and Shiro interactions we were promised and that’s a big let down.
This season is by far my least favorite season and it’s not because Klance wasn’t made canon or Lance didn’t come out as Bi or anything like that. It’s more because I feel like I was promised the world and then handed a an Atlas (do you get the pun).
Anyway yeah I just feel lied to overall like they said a lot was gonna happen but it didn’t. I don’t know, maybe they were mistaken and all the things that they said were gonna happen in this season are actually gonna happen next season.
Now I’ve said my issues with the new season now let’s end this on a good note with the few things I liked about it.
I was really looking forward to the game show episode and I know some people feel that it was random but I actually think it was pretty funny and entertaining. I do have a problem with Lance being used as the butt of the joke though. (We all know Lance isn’t “the dumb one”)
The episode of the paladins being stuck drifting in space is honestly one of my favorite episodes even if it’s in my least favorite season. We got to see Hunk take more charge and we got to see a side of the other paladins that we’ve never seen before. I think the episode reminded you that they’re all just kids (and yes Allura too because even if she’s 10,000 years old she’s still young in Altean years) and they are fighting in the middle of a Intergalactic War they didn’t chose to be in. It was a strong episode and I really enjoyed it.
I liked the two episodes that caught us up to what was happening on Earth because I actually have been wondering what Earth was like since the paladins left and that answered my questions.
Colleen Holt is a badass and I expect no less from Pidge and Matt’s mom.
Keith’s wolf is amazing and I want to hug him. Also Keith saying he was waiting for the wolf to tell him his name is probably one of the funniest and dorkiest things he has ever said (And the fandom promotes him as “dark and brooding”)
In my opinion the reunion with Lance and his family was lacking especially since we see what thinking about his family has done to him but the small children saying “Uncle Lance” makes up for it.
I’m glad we saw Hunk’s family because we never really heard about them.
Romelle was a lot of the comedic relief and I’m grateful.
Krolia and Keith’s relationship has gotten stronger and that goodbye brought tears to my eyes.
And that’s basically it.
I know a lot of people are disappointed in this season, believe me so am I but I still have a sliver of hope for the next season. I know it might be dumb but part of me believes that the Voltron producers might redeem themselves with the final season. Also I’m jacking that Adam isn’t dead I know the writers of the show aren’t gonna queerbait us like that (or at least I hope so) maybe he’ll have a badass entrance in the new season. Save Shiro’s life or some shit like that.
I don’t know I guess we’ll have to wait
P. S. Please don’t go and harass the Voltron writers and show makers. They put a lot of work into this season and making a show is hard. Unless you’re in their shoes you have no right to bombard them with hate. If you want to say your opinion do so respectfully and peacefully and just go on your merry way.
Any way thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!
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jmflowers · 4 years
Note
Please verbalize your thoughts about Emmerdale, I'd love to hear what you think about this week 😊
when I finally found some time to answer this, I apparently had a LOT of words to say (wrote like 1000 of them that only covered Monday/Tuesday) but really… are we even mildly surprised?
I’ve attempted to condense my thoughts into my typical jot note style for easier reading.
- episodes this week were written by Martin Fustes, Sharon Marshall, Jane Pearson, Bill Taylor, Karin Young, and Sarah Bagshaw in that order - we should all be grateful to Emmerdale for giving us Bill Taylor on the first episode of Charity’s birthday (he was a co-writer with Isobel Cameron on the cellar kiss episode) - big love to our Vanity writing stans
- there was no Charity or Vanessa on Monday but I still watched because I’m INVESTED
- Nicola is my self-centred queen and I will not accept dismissal of how hilarious she is - I would be joyous to see her get a meatier storyline this year but will always love her as one of the comedic relief characters in the village
- the church storyline was wrapped up TOO FAST and I am UNHAPPY- in what universe would Harriet, morals central, forgive a wrong that quickly?- if the guilt doesn’t fester in her and then blow I will riot- good for Dawn standing her ground with the 40 different reasons she was mad in the span of 10 seconds
- I HAVE A GREAT RAGE ABOUT ALL THINGS INVOLVING MOIRA RIGHT NOW- I wrote a big, long paragraph about this but basically:- she was targeted by Nate and everyone seems to have forgotten this???- he was so damn pervy and creepy??? (”Come on, you know you want to.”)- she tried repeatedly to end things at the beginning???- everyone is focused on the choices she made at the end of the affair which is half valid- but now they are TAKING HER CHILDREN- and she’s LOSING IT- and Moira NEEDS HELP PLEASE- why is everyone more concerned with whether Cain will forgive either of them???- Someone Protect Moira 2020
- where’s Isaac? I need him- also Moses
- Tuesday was all about Noah’s anger and I respect it- Charity is a terrible mother and that’s been long understood, however much she tries now is mildly irrelevant in the face of how Noah has grown up- was there a scene missing in this ep, though???- because approximately 13.5 seconds later he was smiling and forgiving her
- I am here for the foreseeable future where Sarah/Noah are a brother/sister duo keeping each others’ secrets- get on with your lying selves, kids
- Fight Club in the shop on Wednesday- Graham knows exactly where to push when it comes to upsetting Charity and it feeds well to the d R a M a- love to see her explode as she does tbh- Charity a year ago would’ve punched this mans, so… GROWTH 
- Rhona is a God Damn dumb ass at this point- in what universe does Rhona (previously raped by an abusive, manipulative spouse) choose to be in a relationship with a proven violent man???- AND THEN WALK AROUND SAYING HE’S A GOOD MAN?!?!?- I am bitter about this blatant mischaracterization for the sake of plot goals- Zoe Henry’s accent, though… 
- CHARITY’S BIRTHDAY HOORAY- it was canon compliant for me that Vanessa would give a well thought-out but actually terrible gift and Charity’s reaction was… Charity- she thought the good thing was the 100% cashmere part for sure- her fashion sense is non-existent compared to Charity’s- it was all valid- (remember that time Vanessa grabbed a christening card on the way to the event and then didn’t pay for it until later because she was in a rush?)
- I was so worried for Sarah’s choices this whole episode and then they damn did bamboozle me- it makes me sad that most of you don’t get to see Sarah’s scenes- Katie Hill and Jack Downham are FANTASTIC 
- Charity stepped up a few times towards the end of the week to remind Cain of the impact of having a father who didn’t care about their mothers felt when they were kids and I am PROUD of her for that- also, those two together is really quite wonderful when you can mentally block out the less than lovely parts of their history… great chemistry
- Kim Tate hired Ryan and his best line all ep was: “This is a job interview, so like… shut up.”- side note for Thursday: Charity really, genuinely puttered around the pub doing what looked like actual work?? New Years Resolution? amazing
- second favourite line on Thursday was Marlon’s: “Matty told Vic, who told Aaron, who told me.”- loved Charity and Marlon gossiping together, I laughed out loud
- SARAH AND NOAH’S SCENE AT THE END OF THE EPISODE IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD WATCH
- by Friday, Charity was meeting Cara in the street and forming opinions- all of those opinions were “impressed”- Charity’s excitement in telling Vanessa about the happenings was adorable- also the TOUCH thank you Michelle
- we are all utterly confused by Nate being welcomed to their family cuppa time
well, that’s the gist of what I can remember experiencing this last week (6th January - 10th January). there were things involving Leyla/Liam, of course, and the impact on Jacob/Leeana, and more semantics regarding Theo’s arrival. but, alas, we’ll call this the centralization of my feelings for the time being. 
0 notes
tinseltina · 5 years
Text
modern horror film characters
Main character 
can either be a guy or a girl. 
Is always the most capable of the group (usually physically, but also mentally in terms of constitution and bravery) because of their sheer tenacity, grit, and will to survive. 
Typically survives the whole movie. In some special cases (see: final destination, or anything that is a cycle of evil) the main character will either die with everyone else in the cast, be placed in a never-ending cycle of terror, or escape even though the curse will most likely be placed on someone else to suffer through later, so they never “beat” the curse.
Dudebro/fratboy/fatboy: 
might be overweight
is the comic relief, even if he’s not funny. 
treats everything like a joke and is himself a joke. 
will die brutally (ESPECIALLY if he’s not funny), usually after showing cowardice or too much disrespect to the danger. 
Harlot: 
could be a guy, could be a girl (equal opportunity ho’ing)
Is typically very skeptical of the danger surrounding the group, and is also the whiniest. 
Tied for “2nd to die” with the comedic relief* 
*Unless they slept with the main character’s s/o in which case it will be played up for drama and THEN they die after that’s revealed.
Incompetent outsider: 
new person to the group. 
is alienated socially from the rest of the group. 
Tends to be skeptical to the danger, but that doesn’t bring them any closer to the other skeptics of the group. 
Is either a total idiot or tries to “face” the danger head on in an act of defiance 
typically the first to die. 
Incompetent girlfriend: 
not usually a mean person, although can be catty towards other groupmates. 
She might be new to the group because she’s someone’s new girlfriend, or she’s been there a while but doesn’t have a high standing in the group. 
This character may be the same as the “harlot” or the “incompetent outsider”.
Token minority:
they could be any of the above characters (although very VERY rarely the main character) or not fit into any of the aforementioned types. 
Also yells a lot and is one of the most scared individuals in the group. 
In older films this character didn’t exist. 
this character will die, I can’t think of a single film where this character didn’t die (get out and until dawn don’t count because one is more about social commentary and the other is a game that’s ending is influenced by player choices, respectively).
Survivalist: 
Not always present in a film. 
Seems like the most capable person in the group (and there will be proof of their skill and intelligence) but because they are not the MAIN character they will die. 
usually from either unusual circumstances (that they otherwise should have been able to survive) or as a sacrifice to save someone else 
(it doesn’t even have to be successful sacrifice!). 
Mentor
Could be someone who suffered the curse years before and was the only survivor
Might be a grizzled or just jaded and suffering from ptsd
doesn’t want to help the new group survive (see: ptsd), just warns them to stay away/don’t play with malevolent forces/i left the past behind me
might leave their sanctuary, or their padded cell, or whatever place they’ve locked themselves in to never live in society again, (which begs the question how they pay the bills). 
If they do they’ll probably die
OR!!! If the mentor is none of these things they’re just some random side character that spits out vague cryptic hints on how to beat the danger.
It’s not revealed how they know this information. 
Some youtubers will come up with a conspiracy theory about how they are the danger, brought the danger into the world (basically pandora’s box but with curses that plague teens and dumb college students) and this is their way of “atoning for their sins”*, were related to a past victim, or went through the danger years before but is hiding it.
or maybe they’re just psychic
*if it’s the pandora’s box, the mentor may vanish like a ghost or die in the end. either as a symbol of being released from their own curse, or as revenge for telling the new group how to beat the danger.
Now if the film has to kill off many characters you can just mix and match personality/trope types to expand your cast. 
0 notes
Text
warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.
Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.
They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.
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“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”
Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever 
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Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.
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Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit
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“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”
well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone
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“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”
yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.
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To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.
I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.
Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.
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Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(
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...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time. 
They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.
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Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.
Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.
...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T
Oh well. At least they got something right.
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it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys
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I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs 
[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.
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...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...
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Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour. 
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...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it. 
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Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.
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SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE
nice ankles, ms skye.
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“Ema..?”
“Use some manners, we’re in court”
thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/
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whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.
or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.
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“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on 
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haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.
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pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?
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y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.
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has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.
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i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......
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“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”
anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.
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oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?! 
and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this
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“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”
they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder. 
OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.
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every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.
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alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.
Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.
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“Wimperson”
ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.
...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!
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seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.
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“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”
“he said so”
THATS. NOT EVIDENCE. 
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oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable 
(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)
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seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case. 
i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3
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um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.
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“Don’t tell me!”
“Oh, but I will anyway.”
I love Apollo so, so much.
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so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??
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“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”
he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.
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fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.
...but maybe........
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what the fuck
Atishon has the same birthday as my dad
DISGUSTING
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oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal
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i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers
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“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”
I'm wheezing
this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected
please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now
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i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.
HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.
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its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.
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“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”
judgeyyyyyyyyy
im crying
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ema: can i fuck off now
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“lets get more info on the crystal”
FINALLY. thank you, athena.
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NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT
PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.
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“back in the old country”
...england..?
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pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready
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“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”
well thats a big fat lie because
A) Kurain village is build on mediums
B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler
we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.
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“One Ives Shineto”
ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE  oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee
also whats that pun
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FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT
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“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”
i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.
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i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.
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“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”
No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?
I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.
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i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.
that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out. 
...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.
Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?
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Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!
i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.
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Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.
>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.
Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA. 
Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you. 
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“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”
All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!
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wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.
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theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL.  THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.
Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.
BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.
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...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever
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ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.
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“Try me, o lord of plebs”
its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.
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i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”
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why the fuck did he 
fall asleep what
OOO THE JUDGE YELL 
AW YEA
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“What did I ever do to deserve this?”
you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.
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No.............
I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”
You know who uses phrases like that.
Assholes.
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“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”
( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)
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...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.
Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom 
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Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.
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“Better brace yourself, son”
Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.
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“Worried this might make a rift between you two...
...and that you might then leave the agency”
haha
“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”
hahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA
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“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”
Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.
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SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR
robot guy
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i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.
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hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...
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HOLY SHIT MISSILES
SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??
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hang on.
“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”
is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.
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ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???
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“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”
hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.
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“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”
...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.
hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.
-
those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.
...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........
-
“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”
Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.
-
ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.
-
“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”
Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.
-
i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’
-
“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”
Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?
-
Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting. 
Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.
-
I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.
-
pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.
-
Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.
Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...
-
its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.
-
Huh. 
HUH.
So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?
:T
-
DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME
-
that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out
“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
-
actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.
-
S––
Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.
-
Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now
-
ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.
-
i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal
unless its
whitcrystal
hahah
hahahahahahahhaha
-
so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller. 
-
sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb
“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”
-
damn shit thats her face
thats uh
o
ohhhh
oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.
not bad, not bad at all.
i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed
-
“The issue is crystal clear”
*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*
-
dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.
-
oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.
-
Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.
Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!
[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”
???: Phoenix... Just give it up.
[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]
/...i wish.
-
legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling
this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen
-
“What’s gotten into him?”
bad writing.
-
sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI
-
(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!
-
y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.
-
noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck
i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.
-
it has rounded corners.
and its huge.
-
phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.
-
“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”
well........ not “many”
-
i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.
Thats. kinda terrifying.
...though considering the way Kurain is...
-
i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)
i never know whose objecting 
-
Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!
...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??
-
“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”
he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.
-
“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”
yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.
..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair
-
a 3D crimscene view
haven't seen that shit since AAAJ
-
‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”
sorry i just felt like being vulgar
-
“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”
holy shit
i love apollo
-
phoenix shut up please, just shut up
let it end
let me rest
-
oh wait
ah here we go.
-
“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”
hey, uh Enshiro
ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth
-
“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”
no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna
“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”
FUCK
YOU
DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!
HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU 
YOU
YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!
-
Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell. 
I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.
-
“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”
i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:
when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting
i mean
nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????
-
what the fuck is his deal with being king
-
OH SHUT UP DURKE 
GO FUCK YOURSELF
think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no
you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.
-
“he’s saved my neck so many times”
w
when
-
“where there’s a will, there’s a way”
how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?
-
“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”
aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.
-
...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND
anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen
-
OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL
WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID 
-
WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL
THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN 
GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG
-
“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”
um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????
you FUCKING MORONS
-
why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.
-
...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation 
-
YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY
END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI
-
“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”
wow
-
...what the fuck
well that was... interesting.
-
i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired
there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted 
-
yay we got the orb
dootdootdoot dootdootdoot
-
even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.
im right there with ya judgey
-
“All I can say is, thats my boy!”
NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID
HES NOT YOUR BOY
YOU BARELY RAISED HIM
GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP
-
“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”
if only you actually were, Apollo
-
yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.
“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy
-
i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”
its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger
pfffff
-
its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO 
-
"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”
uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway
-
christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig
-
see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.
-
and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.
till next time.
4 notes · View notes
tumblunni · 7 years
Text
Speaking of my dumb story ideas, I’ve been thinking some stuff to flesh out the Cathedral Game’s setting! RANDOM IDEAS AHOY LONG POST AHOY
* I’m thinking I need to make some concrete ideas for the villains maybe. When I first had the dream that inspired this all, it was just some sort of ambiguous ‘demon army’, kinda like a mindless zombie plague or i dunno, maybe the demons were sentient but they were all evil except for florin anyway? It was a more boring cliche kind of enemy than I usually write, with no moral grey area. Just an endless wave of foes that would justify the setting where everyone is stuck living inside a church and you have to defend it and try and turn it into a little town. And I guess if we had to have a 100% evil enemy with very little character development then it makes me less uncomfortable if theyre some sort of supernatural nonsentient plague instead of a bunch of people born evil. But then Florin existing as your sidekick was like the first part of the dream and it was never explained why he was the only non evil, completely sentient demon. Plus now I have a different zombie-themed story so mindless plagues would be samey. PLUS... welll... I need to stop being all ‘because I saw it in a dream it is somehow a cosmic message that it has to be in the story and can never be changed’. Kinda the point of being awake is that i can look at things more rationally and plug the ol plotholes, yo!
* So anyway, the idea I had was that it would... just simply be an actual army of actual villains with actual motivations and moral ambiguity. I was thinking maybe the setting could be like the perspective of civilians trapped in-between a civil war between two countries, just trying to survive and hoping that the promise of reincforcements coming to evacuate is actually true. The gamneplay of holding the fort and constantly gunning down enemies could be even more depressing when you know that not all of them are necessarily evil, they’re just soldiers doing their job. Maybe its ambiguous whether your country or their country shot first, maybe its like their country is suffering from some form of recession or illness or lack of resources and they’re only trying to conquer this other country because their families are dying at home? Maybe its some form of religious conflict, or maybe its even something with a very villainous dictator running the show but the people working underneath them are just normal citizens forcibly drafted into a war they dont believe in. There’s a whole pile of different possibilities for moral ambiguity, yo! Not sure yet which would work best, hmm...
* Might possibly be an opportunity to use a character I’ve been sitting on for a while but couldnt find a story that suited her. After I played Fe: Awakening I felt really uncomfortable about how the game treated Excellus as if he was hateable only because he was ugly and ambiguously gay/transgender. like.. he’s a horrible jerk of a villain yet the plot really overfocuses on insulting his appearance and gender rather than retaliating against the things he actually does. Made me feel sympathy for a jerk I never wanted to feel sympathy for! So I kinda ended up being inspired by the wasted potential and thinking up an idea for a similar character who actually IS sympathetic, and has the ambiguous LGBTQ aspect properly explored as a plotline. I think it could actually be powerfully sympathetic to see this villain who’s constantly degraded and misgendered by her teammates, and has a lot of reason to believe the worst of humanity. Someone who could switch sides if shown some basic decency by our heroes, maybe? And I felt it could be good if she did have a very similar personality to Excellus, just like a good version of it. She could still be a comic relief egotistical person, but not a murderous monster. And the ego could be like... sad, because she’s purposely trying to act unaffected and secure and like she loves herself, when really she’s being treated like shit and doesnt know if she deserves it or not. And I was thinking also possibly she could be a greedy merchant type character, like Anna? (also from Fe: Awakening) That could be the role she takes in the town once you recruit her, she could be a savvy businesswoman badass! Playing rune factory 4 makes me appreciate how cool a trader character can be, Arthur is so neato~! He talks about it like its the most amazing job ever, I just feel like it could be even cooler if we had that passion along with a more goofy greedy personality. Like ‘hahaha im only in it for the money’, but no, she really has this kinda cheesy cute reason why she does the job, she just really enjoys meeting new people and being able to change the world a little piece at a time. It reaffirms her faith in humanity after all she’s been through. (Tho also she’s still a total badass, since she was a former general of the villain country, after all!)
* Oh and I was thinking of a really tragic alternative route for her if you don’t recruit her. You could fight her multiple times throughout the game and then when you get to the final one and she realizes there’s no escape she suddenly drops the comic relief act and it gets really somber. I was thinking maybe she could have a mentor type character or a friend or a love interest or something? Or some other something she was trying to keep safe all along, some reason why she still had hope, some reason why she was fighting for an army she didnt believe in, just to save up enough money for... some sort of life goal? I dunno, maybe she has a sibling who’s in the hospital and she’s trying to save up for treatment, and then on the day of the final battle she gets a telegram hearing that they died and she wasnt even there to say goodbye. (And the death would somehow be directly caused by the player’s actions, thus determining whether you recruit her or not) So even though every time before she always flaked out like a coward with a comedic quip as soon as it looked like she was losing, now she just doesnt have anything else left to lose. This time she WILL NOT LET YOU redeem her, she will not let you SPARE her, she doesnt even speak a single word in the entire battle. Her difficulty spikes immensely in this fight to the death, and she only cracks a smile and gives a parting quip once you’ve dealt the final blow. And I was just imagining it could be EXTRA depressing combined with her plot of facing predjudice for being transgender! She’s spent most of this time being treated by the other commanders as ‘sir [name]’, gritting her teeth and bearing all this degredation, trying not to stand out too much. But in the end now nobody else is here to put her down, all those other ‘brave knights’ are the ones who ran away like cowards and left the ‘coward’ to take the last stand. And she doesnt care if she dies anymore. So she hangs up her armour for this fight and instead decides to go out in all her finery, wearing the dress she’s kept locked away in her trunk the whole time. Walking onto the battlefield like a bloody bride, and being one hell of a monster boss battle despite missing all of her platemail. A whirling dance of death! To go out smiling! To maybe make her family proud, and if she can meet them on the other side she could do it with the face she always wanted to wear.
* ....basically make it super depressing so you regret your actions and go back and see what the other option leads to. But also so badass that people wouldnt regret seeing the scene, yknow? And this might be the height of her character arc, kinda, but she’d be able to have whole new character arcs if you choose to recruit her. And you can make your own badass battles with her now! * Not sure tho whether maybe the family member/mentor/whoever might die either way though? That could fit the bittersweet found-family themes of the game, pretty much everybody’s someone who’s lost their biological relations and found new people to love in this new community. It could just be like... the choice between this person dying tragically and causing merchant-general-lady to commit suicide, or them passing away naturally due to their illness after saying goodbye to her, leading to her joining the heroes to try and prevent tragedies like this. * A possible other EVEN MORE tragic idea I had- an alternative where this person has already been dead for a long time before the start of the story, and the villain leader has been lying to merchant-general in order to keep her working as their minion. So the player choice would be like... you can reveal it to her and purposely send her into a suicidal spiral as an attempt to destabilize the enemy forces and win an important battle. Its a complete dick move, yes, but it could save the lives of all your family and friends! But then if you believe that this merchant-general is actually redeemable you could like... do the same thing but with different motives, in a different way. Reveal it in less of a sadistic, tactically-planned way, and more of a ‘no seriously this is why you cant trust your boss’ way. And she’d be likely to actually believe you if you’d been befriending her before now. * Or perhaps maybe her sibling died years ago and she heard about it but was unable to accept it, since it was her only reason to keep on going. Maybe she feels guilt that she was too busy making money to try and save them, and that meant she wasnt there to hold their hand when they passed away. So now she keeps on hoarding money for no purpose at all, except because this routine keeps her going. And she keeps writing letters to someone who’s already dead. * buuuut that might be too similar to Malachi’s plot, since he has memory problems regarding a tragic event in his past. Though it was his own death rather than a family member’s! ....actually I dunno, maybe a twist could be that he’s actually her lost sibling? That’d kinda be wrapping things up too coincidentally though. But on the other hand it could be an interesting plot to explore his relationship with his newly returned biological sibling, compared to the adoptive relationship he’s been developing with Florin. RIVALS FOR TINY BABBU’S LOVE! Buuuuuut I also liked the idea of Florin’s death being very far back in the timeline, and he’s been sleeping underneath those ruins for over a century. It could be cool to have him experiencing a lot of things for the first time, and to get a perspective on the past before the war...
* ALSO ANOTHER POTENTIAL CHARACTER IDEA * Another enemy recruit maybe! I seem to be going in twos, I made two demon characters and now two redeemy people XD The idea I had was that this could be just a random soldier that you keep as a prisoner, and have to decide whether to execute him or not. It can be hard to keep prisoners of war when you’re stuck in this seige situation and you barely even have enough food to keep your own teammates alive! Tensions could run high because you’re choosing to keep this guy alive when its making things worse for us all, plus we cant really trust him, seriously?? He surrendered but maybe its just a trap to infiltrate us! He claims a sob story of his country being forced to invade us because of famine, and being drafted against his will, but can we trust anything that comes from the mouth of one of those scum?? And then there’s the question of what exactly you’ll do with him if you think he cant be trusted! Are you able to execute him in cold blood? Do you set him free and hope this decision doesnt come back to bite you in the ass? Do you try and execute him while pretending you didnt- setting him loose in the forest to die of exposure or at the hands of his own former comrades...?? And its very annoying because the entire time he’s insistantly begging you to kill him, and generally being a huge downer! :P This is what convinces you to spare him, if you pick that option. It starts off as just ‘I’m gonna spite you, I won’t let you die if its what you want’, but eventually you realise he really never wanted to be part of this war, and he’s weighed down so much by his sins that his pleading for suicide was completely genuine. There’s no spy plots, he was just a simple farmer thrown into battle with nothing more than the clothes on his back and the sharpest pitchfork he could salvage from the wreckage of his old farm before it was torn down. The famine ruined his business and he had no way of surviving unless he sold his land to the army, to be bulldozed and turned into the site of a new weapons factory. And even after that he ended up forcibly drafted when things got even worse, losing what little livelihood he’d managed to scrape together again. He doesnt have a home to go back to, he just wanted to die on the battlefield, and by all odds he SHOULD HAVE! This is the condition of this latest round of ‘soldiers’, nobody even wastes armour on them, theyre just disposeable fodder to be mowed down as a distraction. What shitty luck, that he just happened to get captured by some bleeding-heart fools who refuse to chop his damn head off! So basically I’m imagining him like a Nanu-esque depressed grandpa who’s kinda sassy sometimes but also really really needs a hug. And like... model prisoner, to a comical degree. When he comes to terms with the fact he aint gonna get killed no matter how much he begs, he’s just like ‘dammit i cant help but help’. He’s just a normal good guy at heart, he’s not really on your side so to speak, he loved his country but he didnt agree with them wanting to wipe out your country either. he misses how his country used to be, and he doesnt know anything about your country or whether its any better, he doesnt have much hope. But when he’s stuck with nothing to do all day, he just cant help subconciously falling into kindly grandpa behaviours! Gotta clean up this cell! Hey, do you want some cookery tips, mr guard? Oh whoops, mr guard you dropped the cell keys, here have them back! Hey this bar over here has poor structural integrity, I tried to rope it back together with a braid of my own back hair! All the time he’s trying to trick you into agreeing to execute him, and being a total sycophant agreeing with everyone who says he’s evil. CMON IM TOTALLY EVIL, PLEASE STAB ME, I’LL BAKE YOU COOKIES! And then as time goes on he just becomes less of a prisoner and ends up making friends with everyone, winning the trust of even those who opposed him the most at the start. All entirely unwillingly! Agreeing with all their oppositions so hard that they stop opposing XD He ends up just pottering around doing odd jobs as a janitor/groundskeeper type guy, even ends up being the one in charge of keeping the keys to the jail he started off in. Somehow the most trustworthy man in the whole town, cos he’s the one person who will never say he’s trustworthy! His humble goodness just shines through~! And he could help out a lot cos he has inside info on the enemy army, and is able to give a sympathetic perspective of the everyday citizens’s life, and just how much dissent there is, how few people are willingly cooperating with the war and how they can find allies and destabilize this regime based entirely on fear instead of loyalty. He’s like a ray of hope that changes everyone’s perspective on this big seemingly-inpeneterable all-evil army! A grumpy suicidal ray of hope, who never shuts up about how hopeless it is! XD of course, eventually he’d be able to find new reason to live in this own, and make friends, and have hugs and joy~! But it’d be a hard journey! And a journey filled with a lot of ‘geez grandpa stop joking about suicide holy shit’ *disciplinary hugs* * Tho actually I dunno if a farmer would be a good career choice for him, I just picked it cos its the easiest to imagine him losing his livelihood in the war. His career in the town would be being this janitor kindly advice man/treasurer sort of guy, but i dunno... if he was a banker before then that makes him too similar to general lady :P ...maybe he was a janitor on someone else’s farm...? Honestly I would love an excuse to have a badass sympathetic janitor man and go on a bit of a small rant about how service work is very physically demanding and deserves a higher minimum wage yknow. RESPECT JANIGRAMP ... actually the name Jani is a good name his name is now jani it is law Jani the groundskeeper, because jani the janitor sounds dumb. SYNONYMS!
* Thinking of ideas for the fictional religion I’m gonna create for this world! Its more fun if we have a completely fictional set of traditions that’re just a general metaphor for topical questions about real life religion n stuff. And it would sidestep the problem of plots accidentally seeming like theyre ‘oh this one religion is evil and false’, when really the point i want to make is about how people of all religions are capable of perverting their faith’s peaceful teachings and using it as an excuse to wage wars. hell, athiests have done the same thing! ‘this religion is inherantly evil bwaaaah’ stuff IS athiests using their own beliefs as an excuse to hurt others. Thats the kind of athiest I never want to be! I completely respect religion and I think that we can never have an answer as to what’s true about creation or an afterlife, we can never know until we die. I don’t believe in heaven, but I dont think I have absolute proof it’s wrong, and I dont care about proving myself right or converting people. I feel inspired when I see people draw strength from their religion, even if I don’t believe in it! Lots of great things have been done in the name of different religions, just like lots of terrible things have. Human beings are great and terrible things, human beings make choices. This doesnt tar everyone with the same brush of whoever made the wrong decision, just because they believe in the same gods! ....man, sorry, I went off on a mini rant there. But yeah, what I hope to do is to have religion as a framing device and discuss some problems with certain so-called religious people, but also show the positive side of it via the protagonists. I mean, the whole point is that you’re living in a church, after all! The idea is that you’d hear a lot of horror stories of other people acting very ungodly in the name of god, both in the enemy army and in the hidden secrets of people in your own country’s government. But the goal is that you see all this hellish stuff and you still choose to be a bastion of what you believe is good and true, you learn from these mistakes and try and make the true sanctuary that everyone was seeking when they fell into the traps of those other monsters. And also I was thinking it;d be like the protagonist’s exploration of being agnostic, after her faith was shaken from her original church being destroyed in this war. She was the only survivor, maliciously left alive by [currently unnamed main villain rival guy], who wanted her to suffer the grief of knowing she’d failed her role as protector. But instead she travelled onwards and found this other church full of defenseless people that need a new guardian, and she is FUCKING DETERMINED to never fail again! It started as just seeking revenge against that evil overlord, but instead its become about protecting these new people and regaining her faith in humanity. And that doesnt necessarily mean regaining her faith, that’s up to the player. She has a journey of realizing that some things about her former church may have actually been corrupt, and that she was just blindly following instead of making her own decisions, She has her hero worship of her dead comrades dismantled, and has to come to her own conclusions about what’s right and wrong in the scriptures she’d learned, and what she’ll do as she goes forward. Its up to the player to decide whether she regains her faith or decides to become an athiest in the end, or even remains agnostic and decides she isnt able to find an answer yet, but either way she will still be forged into a true blue hero, no matter the reasons behind it! I wanna make all options an equally good ending, its just a personal choice that changes some scenes but not necessarily the course of the story.
* Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Religion ideas! I was considering possibly the legend could involve something about ‘an absent god’. The traditions say that humanity failed the creator long ago, and they left us behind because of it. The direction of all religion is based around this idea that we are inherantly born sinful, and have to do certain things in order to appease our ancestors’s sins and bring the gods back. I’m thinking it would be a good idea to create multiple sects of religion that’re variants on the same original holy text, that’s something that fictional religions dont tend to do for some reason. In this case it could be different perspectives on how exactly god dissappeared, and what exactly god saw as our sin, what on earth we have to do to make up for it. And I was thinking that the idea could be that god shattered into a million pieces that were scattered across the world. This leads to territory wars over places that’ve been determined to contain remains of god buried beneath the earth, and people invading indigenous civilizations in the name of holy tasks to dig for these relics. Power struggles over how many god burial grounds your country owns at any given time, controversy every time a digging operation fails to find a crystal. Pieces of god being used practically as currency, used to power magical weaponry in these wars... lies and deceit over fake godstones that no-one can prove you don’t own... * And this way even though magic does clearly exist in this world, it leaves it ambiguous whether religion is true, and whether any of the different sects is more accurate about the true will of god. It would seem reasonable that athiests exist here even when magic exists, thats usually a problem in fictional settings, you have gods right out here in the open yet some people still dont believe in them? XD It’d be like... yes maybe all these crystals that grant magical powers are actually fragments of an absent god. Maybe they grant those magical powers because of the reasons scripture tells us. Maybe if you bring them all together you can meet god and be granted one wish, maybe you could end the war. Buuuuuuuut.... maybe there’s just a natural crystal that grows underground and grants magical powers. Maybe nothing happens when you put it all together. Maybe it’s just like how people considered electricity to be unpredictable divine punishment before we learned how to harness it for ourselves.
* And there could be like... sects of the religion who believe god chose to leave us out of shame for our sinfulness, sects who believe a certain group of humans betrayed god and shattered them, thus holy war is justified against that country. Perhaps even sects that believe that god being shattered was a positive thing, that god chose to give fragments of their power to humans so they could choose their own destiny. (This is considered as scandalous as satan-worship in-universe) And there’s a related sect that believes that humans only even came into existance after the shattering event, that shattering into pieces was how god granted sentience and free will to the angelic servants we used to be. And this has permenantly corrupted us, thus the sin that we need to undo in order to retun god is... individuality, in all its forms. I think these are the ones who had the very extreme fanatical members who ran Malachi’s former church, and committed various atrocities including his murder. (Though, again, this doesnt mean that the viewpoint is inherantly evil. Just the people who took it from ‘tranquility, enlightenment and fealty to fellow man’ to ‘LITERALLY NO INDIVIDUALITY EVER’) ....hmmm, actually the morality system could be even more complex if I nail down a set of different factions of the religion and let you choose between all of them in the end. (or choosing none of them, or choosing your own interpretation) And there’d sorta be a fanatical/critical morality bar too, which determines whether you get the good or bad ending. In this case ‘critical’ would be the good option, I mean it more like... ‘I’ve analyzed everything about this scripture and come to my own conclusions, I won’t do anything immoral out of blind belief unless I actually have reasons to agree that it’s the right choice’. Aka how any normal good person decides on a religion to follow. And the fanatical side would be leaning towards never questioning. So sometimes you would have to like... take options that would seem like ‘the bad option’. Dont just blindly agree with everything that points to a particular faction viewpoint, that’ll lead to badness! Sometimes you have to question things, take it from the perspective of a character who is discovering their own faith, rather than a player who already knows from the beginning what option they want to pick.
* Man this has got complicated lol, I’m starting to ramble!
* Anyway, i was thinking this would explain what the ‘demons’ are, in this world. Normally humans can only use magic by using godstone as a power source, demon is a universal term for all creatures that are made of magic and can use it infinately as part of their very being. They’re considered unholy and must be destroyed, because they’re ‘imprisoning’ a shard of god inside them. And its really unfair because its a complete and utter random chance if someone becomes a demon when they die, you can live your entire life thinking you’re a normal human until the godstone in your heart activates and saves your life. Your life which is now ressurected in a monsterous form and can never return to your old family. The traditions say that it only happens to people who are sinful, thus they totally deserve to be slain, of course! Oh, and I think the main evil army guys would be using demons as weapons, which is part of why the anti-demon sentiment is like... even worse than usual in the protagonist’s country. Its incredibly depressing because demons are completely sentient, and the only way they become mindless battle monsters is if they’re tortured beyond breaking point. The same way you’d reduce a human to that state. But the protagonist starts off not even knowing that demons can talk until she meets Florin, she’s only ever seen these demonic ‘soldiers’ that’re really just whipped and beaten prisoners chained together and thrown towards the enemy in the hope both parties kill each other. “Yeah but why do so many demons ally with the empire?” *florin looks into the camera like he’s on the office* And I was thinking maybe a more positive religious interpretation of the existance of demons could be that they’re actually angels instead. (Yeah, even if this religion is very different its gonna probably have a lot of similarities to protestant christianity since that’s what I was raised in. i dont feel comfortable critcising someone else’s religion that I’m not personally experienced with, yknow?) ANYWAY SORRY FOR THAT ASIDE Yeah, there could be some very rare pro-demon religious folk who believe that those who are reborn after death are actually chosen ones rather than sinful. These fragments of god blessed certain people who were pure enough in heart to earn the power to be able to enact god’s love to the world. Because even though god is in pieces, god very much wants to forgive us. These magical beings are sent as god’s messengers to help guide us on the right path to redemption. That’s why they have such great powers of creation! (though others would say its destruction...) A single plant demon like Florin could watch over and sustain an entire forest, revive it from drought and become a cornerstone to build a whole city around! Though even this faction isnt 100% correct or incorruptable, there are those who’d interpret this as demons having a DUTY to do that. There are rogue members of this faction who enslave demons just as much as the people who use them as weapons. I was thinking a plot could be that Florin almost gets suckered in by a band of these guys, he’s just so overwhelmed to find anyone who doesnt hate demons! But they want to imprison him and force him to grow their crops forever until he dies of exhaustion, because that’ll mean he’s ~happily fullfilled his purpose and rejoined god~. I mean, if he says he doesnt want to, thats just so sad! That means this pure angel has been corrupted by humanity’s sin, he doesnt know what he’s saying! * man i have so many ideas aaaaa
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