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whflibrary · 6 years

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playlist + downers and wastrels!!

this playlist is a 15-song compilation of music that reminded me of the downers/wastrels of we happy few, and are organized below the read-more by relevant lyrics and character types they pertain to!!

OVERDOSE / GRANDSON (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ i’ve been way too numb now, i’m living on the run now. oh, i gotta get out of this town somehow. ❞ + ❝ ‘cause the bad’s been slowly getting worse, and this fast lane - living, it’s a curse. better tell me - what’s your life worth? i think it’s time for a change. ❞ + ❝ ‘cause the drugs don’t work anymore. all fun and games until i hit the floor - overdose. ❞ + ❝ i couldn’t find the thrill again, i couldn’t seem to kill the pain. i was living in the moment, searching for a little serotonin, but this shit ain’t fun now. ❞

MEDS / PLACEBO (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ i was alone, falling free, trying my best not to forget what happened to us - what happened to me - what happened as i let it slip. i was confused by the powers that be, forgetting names and faces. passersby were looking at me, as if they could erase it. ❞ + ❝ baby, did you forget to take your meds? ❞ + ❝ i was alone, staring over the ledge, trying my best not to forget all manner of joy, all manner of glee, and our one heroic pledge. how it mattered to us, how it mattered to me, and the consequences. i was confused by the birds and the bees, forgetting if i meant it. ❞

MY RADIO / STARS (WASTRELS + DOWNERS + UNCLE JACK). ❝ it’s hard to remember days, mornings lost in a chronic haze. breath is fast and the trains are slow, i barely feel it though. all day long, i fantasize in the dark behind peoples’ eyes. and then they disappear, words get lost in the atmosphere. ❞ + ❝ the truth i’ll tell, i’ll tell the truth. you ask for facts, well, i’ll give you proof. ❞ + ❝ all i want is my radio, all i want is my radio. he speaks in a voice i know, sounds like sand when the tide is low. ❞ + ❝ all i want is a room somewhere, far away from all the chemo air. and when i go, my radio will play a song that lingers. ❞

CRY FORUM / MOTHER MOTHER (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ i stare at the populous in prayer - i look at them, talking to the air. i sing for them, they don’t seem to hear. i cry for them. ❞ + ❝ are they in outer space, on a populous parade? are they in some kind of race that i do not have the legs for? i’m not one to kill joy, but i’m just digging pro-choice. ❞ + ❝ are they all out of touch? are they touching it too much? are they on some kind of drug that i haven’t done enough of? ❞ + ❝ are they all out of turn? are they ever gonna learn? about the fires that might burn, about the feelings that might hurt me? ❞

ALONE / EYESHINE (WASTRELS + THE GARDEN DISTRICT). ❝ tonight looks like a cold one, if the moon decides to show and dance along the ocean. but none of us will know. none of us will know. ❞ + ❝ so, this is the end of it. it’s time for us to go back to where we started, back to what we know. do you know what it feels like to be alone? well, i do. ❞ + ❝ tomorrow’s never promised to you, this road we all share. ❞

EVERYBODY KNOWS / SIGRID (DOWNERS + ESCAPING WELLINGTON WELLS). ❝ everybody knows that the dice are loaded, everybody rolls with their fingers crossed. everybody knows that the war is over, everybody knows the good guys lost. everybody knows the fight is fixed, the poor stay poor, the rich get rich. that’s how it goes - everybody knows. ❞ + ❝ everybody knows the boat is leaking, everybody knows the captain lied. everybody’s talking to their pockets, everybody wants a box of chocolates and a long-stem rose. everybody knows. ❞ + ❝ everybody knows that the plague is coming, everybody knows that it’s moving fast. everybody knows that the naked man and woman are just a shining artifact of the past. ❞ + ❝ everybody knows it’s coming apart. take one last look at this sacred heart before it blows. everybody knows. ❞

PARIS IS BURNING / ST. VINCENT (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ i write to give word that the war is over, send my cinders home to mother.they gave me a medal for my valor, leaden trumpets spit the soot of power. ❞ + ❝ they say “i’m on your side when nobody is, ‘cause nobody is. come sit right here and sleep, while i slip poison in your ear”. ❞ + ❝ we are waiting on a telegram to bring us news of the fall. i am sorry to report, dear paris is burning after all. we have taken to the streets in open rejoice, revolting. we are dancing a black waltz - fair paris is burning after all. ❞ + ❝ enclosed in this letter, there’s a picture - black and white for your refrigerator. sticks and stones have made me smarter, it’s words that cut me under my armour. ❞

CROSSFIRE / STEPHEN (WASTRELS + THE GARDEN DISTRICT). ❝ he keeps waking up, but it’s not to the sound of birds. the tyranny, the violent streets, deprived of all that we’re blessed with. and we can’t get enough. ❞ + ❝ heaven, if you could send us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you’d be so proud of what we’ve made. ❞ + ❝ i hope you’ve got some beds around, ‘cause you’re the only refuge now for every mother, every child, every brother, that’s caught in the crossfire. ❞

CLINT EASTWOOD / GORILLAZ (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ i ain’t happy, i’m feeling glad. i’ve got sunshine in a bag. i’m useless, but not for long - my future is coming on. ❞ + ❝ intangible - bet you didn’t think, so i command you to. ❞ + ❝ you see with your eyes, i see destruction and demise. corruption in disguise from this fuckin’ enterprise, now i’m sucked into your lies. ❞ + ❝ i brought all this so you can survive when law is lawless. feelings, sensations that you thought were dead - no squealing, remember that it’s all in your head. ❞

THE STUPID, THE PROUD / IAMX (WASTRELS + THE GARDEN DISTRICT). ❝ god is dead - we get to sleep tonight. walk with me into the truth, out of your lies. ❞ + ❝ the armies of faithful, the killers of reason, the grief of the crown. the stupid, the proud - they blow our houses down. ❞ + ❝ exalt yourself, do it to stay alive. you must demand, they must abide. queer is the universe - habit the liberty, destructive in time. hunt down your future. and everything you know is not enough to survive. ❞

BLOOD // WATER / GRANDSON (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ we’ll never get free, lamb to the slaughter. what you gonna do when there’s blood in the water? the price of your greed is your son and your daughter. ❞ + ❝ look me in my eyes, tell me everything’s not fine. oh, the people ain’t happy, and the river has run dry. you thought you could go free, but the system is done for. ❞

OLD YELLOW BRICKS / ARCTIC MONKEYS (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ quite the little escapologist - you looked so miffed when you wished for a thousand places better than this. you are the fugitive, but you don’t know what you’re running from. ❞ + ❝ who wants to sleep in the city that never wakes up, blinded by nostalgia? ❞ + ❝ she was enraged by the way that the emperor put traps in the cage, and the days she seemed dull led to nights reading beer bottles. ❞ + ❝ she said “i want to sleep in the city that never wakes up, and revel in nostalgia”. ❞

KINGDOM OF ZOD / BILLY TALENT (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ we’ll never drink your medicine, and we’ll never think your way. masters of broken promises are born to manipulate. your mind is a vault of prejudice, but we see through the door - your dirty little secrets aren’t so secret anymore. ❞ + ❝ no room for your daft intolerance left in this day and age - we’re not gonna go down quietly, we’re not gonna be afraid. ‘cause under the cloak of sanities are madmen in disguise - are we blind? ❞ + ❝ i believe it, but i don’t understand. i feel it coming at the back of the head. if you think, you’ll be the one in command. it’ll tear us apart in the end. we’re gonna make it like a thief in the night. we’ll uncover up the evidence of their crimes. ❞

RACE TO THE BOTTOM / DAN MANGAN (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ and so the artist screams into an empty cup - he says that you’re a soulless bunch, but you could still wake up. ❞ + ❝ here’s what we know: we don’t know what we’ve got, or if we’ve got it. and what we had, we already forgot it. the race is evidently to the bottom - we don’t know what to say. ❞ + ❝ don’t know what it was, but we want it back, like every generation will repeat the last. put a halo on a figurehead or photograph - resist a little bit and you become “the man”. dreaming of a simpler time, it occurs to me that the past is hypothetical fantasy, and nostalgia just ain’t what it used to be. ❞

PLANET HEALTH / CHAIRLIFT (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ when i arrived on planet health, in the state of being well, i altered my self-conscious messes and body images. ❞ + ❝ i am feeling great tonight - we are feeling great tonight. ❞ + ❝ then i found out where you’re sent when you’re sick and sad and old - they kick you off of planet health, into a universe of cold. ❞

LIES / BILLY TALENT (DOWNERS + THE VILLAGE). ❝ forced conversation, hidden agenda - you think we’re stupid, how dare you? the rug has not been pulled over our eyes, you fool - we can see right through. ❞ + ❝ tiptoeing villains, eyes in the ceiling - your false intentions have worn thin. but we’ve been in your room and in your closet too, we’ve got one on you. ❞ + ❝ lies make it better, lies are forever. lies to go home to, lies to wake up to. lies from the altar, lies make you falter. lies keep your mouth fed, lies ‘til your deathbed. ❞ + ❝ inside an office, a fallen angel - a smiling buddha with snake eyes creates the latest trends. and i just can’t pretend - don’t call me your friend. ❞

#playlist #we happy few #we happy few game #whf #not notes #not images

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almasidaliano · 3 years

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Mental Health Matters

i am not okay. .. and that is okay. it's okay not to be okay sometimes. it's all okay, even if it hurts. you have to always remind yourself that it's okay even when it hurts because it is always going to hurt.

imagine waking up, and for no reason at all wanting to die. imagine every day being that way until they start to run together and then it just becomes this on going day that goes on forever, and you go from waking up every morning to greeting the sun with a sign because once again you've failed to die.

i'm not always sad, i always have SAD learn the difference. SAD: Social Anxiety Disorder. thought that was it? nope. ready for the list?

SAD - SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER GAD - GENERAL ANXIETY DISORDER SP - SOCIAL PHOBIA CLINICAL DEPRESSION GENERAL DEPRESSION SEASONAL DEPRESSION (DID - DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER BPD - BI POLAR DISORDER) PTSD - POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER INSOMNIA BULIMIA NERVOSA

welcome to my mental health rant. as if life doesn't already fuck us enough. the best people are mad. so i try not to let it fuck with me too much. but everyday is a battle. i mean a full blown war, one that isn't always visible from the outside.

anxiety is like extremely heightened awareness. you are just aware of everything, every possible variable that could apply to a scenario pops into my head and just spins. making decisions feels impossible. trying to express myself. having so many forms of anxiety means i question and overthink everything. i get flustered easily. i chuckle nervously a lot. since i have been diagnosed since i was a freshman, ive learned some coping skills to get through the days. they backfire though because most people think i am fine and dandy.

the depression is killer. no cap, i think i could handle it if it weren't for the anxiety. like when im trying to get myself out of bed, i don't need depression on my chest and anxiety in my ear about all the bad things life brings, and how im a failure for not getting up, pros and cons of life. there is so much pressure to live and it damn near impossible to die. like deadass, when you fr tryna get out this mf, life laughs at you in the face.

FUCK BIG PHARMA.

if i need meds i can medicate myself. the meds they would give me made it worse. it was like i was a zombie. numb and fatigued. that's when the light dimmed. and family just knew they would help and so they dimmed and dimmed and dimmed my light. i lost drive, i lost will power. all that was left was this empty vessel.

can you imagine asking for help and being gaslighted? or dismissed. they threw pills at the problem. i said they didn't work they said keep taking them. then they said you need to talk to someone- crazy i kept trying to talk to them. no one had time to hold me together; still my pieces always managed to keep them steady.

when it becomes to much i just stop. i just don't. sometimes i don't really resonate with my vessel. they call that dissociative identity. i dont really think i dissociate though so....

the waves of bipolar disorder are hectic for even myself. i dont know where the emotions be coming from. i dont know why its like click pop off. i have no idea. thats how my body responds. i try to just be quiet, but silence makes me ache i have to get it out. i think its cause i have so much buried already. i feel like a burden or an issue when i try to express myself so i tend to keep it to myself if possible. i feel the anger. my body gets hot. if i suppress the anger i cry, then the depressions back. depression is never without anxiety and that mf gotta make it impossible for me to calm down then its like how do i explain this right? so people know whats going on? lol i try to explain my feelings but it just be seeming like everyone thinks im overdramatic and doing too much. its exhausting to have to feel so much all the time.

trauma makes life the hardest. the ptsd takes your mind back to those moments. how do you climb out of your mind? when you open your eyes and you know where you are but it's not what you see. when you can see, inreality but that's not what you think. when the people with you keep trying to ground you with their voices and you hear them, but they sound distant. trying to get to them, its like they can't get to you. so you feel it again. like a fresh new wound. and then you try not to relapse because its old news, with new bruises.

appetite left when my confidence did. i still throw up from time to time. everything comes in waves now. i try to eat, but it typically makes me nauseous or i get full fast. i rarely ever have a taste for anything, i be drinking stuff steadily.

i stopped sleeping because the night terrors were too much. minds are this unlimited storage space and i would love to empty mine out. i swear i am horder of memories. i think ive forgotten things, i try to forget them, and yet they find a way to wound me again. letting go is the major key to mental health. letting things be what they will be.

one thing i have learned, happiness does not last. it won't. nothing can. nothing does. that doesn't make it any less worth it though. you have to push for something. and knowing this is what happiness, to some extent is supposed to feel like, its a reminder that everyday i fight that battle and i win. and i will find happiness within again. and it will leave again. and i will let it go. and welcome it when it comes back, thats how the cycle goes.

this was just a rant. be nice to everybody because you don't know how close they are to the edge. and if you know someone who jumps, for once support them. meaning rejoice their memory, don't say they shouldve been stronger or they were selfish. let them know they are loved and never alone. because when you are on that ledge, all that's running through your mind is all the people who will be hurting now, all the things you didn't get to do, you sit there contemplating if you are really capable of being selfish now.

people don't kill themselves because they feel like no one's there; that isn't what is meant when they say i feel alone. they mean in a room full of people. they mean when they go to their support system and still feel the same so they just decide to act like its all cool and end the conversation. its like, i know what i have and its all i need. family love support is all we need. administered correctly, i think it could save any life. blood don't always constitute family. and love is hard to find. if the support isn't sturdy, the bridge comes falling down. just be sure to tell your mental health friends youre proud of them for staying. ask them to always stay. and if ever they cannot go on, whisper into the air "you did good."

believe it or not we all feel the same pain. its just dressed up in different ways. so be mindful, pay attention. when someone's talking, do more than listen; comprehend them. support and uplift them. if there's a friend in need, be sure to be the thing theyre missing.

keep going. its not too late.

-Almasi

ps: should ever anyone need, you can always find a friend in me.

#mental heath support #excerpts from my heart #mental disorder #hope speaks #always keep fighting

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totalfanfreak · 7 years

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Knight by Night Pt. 2

Knight by Night Pt. 2 CDC:

Thanks to Daryl Jim’s passing had been peaceful. He had a struggle for a moment, not wanting his friends risking the loss of a bullet or the noise on him. But with enough assurance he had allowed himself to sleep. Everyone had helped to escort him out there, but you and Glenn had stayed. When Jim’s eyes closed, his breath slowing as the drugs began to stop his heart you had reached for the gun.

“God, Y/N. You don’t need to do that.”

It was soft, like he was afraid talking any louder would wake Jim up. The courtesy of it almost made you smile.

“How many people have you killed, Glenn?”

You knew the answer from the look on his face. “Exactly. I’ve had to do this before so there’s no point in anyone else’s hands having blood on them.”

You could tell he wanted to stop you again, but he didn’t, knowing in some way you were right. Everyone would be stained in the end, but there was no point in speeding it along. Laying Jim’s head in your lap, you stroked the remaining bits of sweat off his face before lining the barrel with his temple. Taking a deep breath, other face came in your mind causing an apology to spring from your mouth before squeezing the trigger.

There wasn’t time to bury him, the sound already alerting more walkers to your presence. Hearing groans rumbling a ways off. In a hurry you both set to cover him with what you could find going back to the RV when it was done. You didn’t feel like talking after that, making your way past everyone to get inside to go wipe your hands clean. You buried yourself in Jim’s discarded sheets as you fell asleep you hoped somewhere your apology had been heard and you could be forgiven.

“Come on, girl, gotta move.”

You peeked out of the sheet cocoon, seeing Daryl crouched in front of you.

“What’s going on?”

Your mind wasn’t waking up, still part exhausted from staying up most of the day.

“Need to grab yur stuff and get inside. The doc wants ta lock us in.”

“The doc?”

“We’re at the CDC, Y/N, now get yur ass up before I haul ya in there without yur shit.”

You unwrapped yourself, feeling fuzzy but able to move. Following Daryl to the building with your knapsack you saw Rick waiting holding the door open for you both. You smiled at him.

“Guess the place wasn’t a dud, good call, sheriff.”

He gave a half smile to you, and you were able to see relief in his eyes to find somewhere safe. But getting in the building you felt it didn’t feel that way, you couldn’t put your finger to it, but seeing the empty halls and loud echoes of your footsteps in the enormous building it felt off. Joining the group you saw a man who had to be the doctor Daryl spoke of, the older blonde looking down at you as you came up.

“As I was telling your friends, the price of admission here will be a blood test.

Are you willing to do that too before I close up?” You shrugged. “Price of most things now are paid in blood, a few drops won’t matter here.”

You cringed at how cryptic you sounded, but the doctor only nodded turning behind to swipe a card through a keypad making metal grates to close down around you all. Following him down the hallway, you trailed off as he answered questions noticing all the vacant rooms. If everyone left, why didn’t he? Was he that single and alone that he didn’t care what happened? Entering what appeared to be a conference room, he excused himself to gather the supplies he’d need.

Great. Now you were given time to psych yourself out over this. You never liked needles, or taking medicine, or doctors in general, but you were hoping to push through if it only meant a place to rest for a few days. As the line moved, your stomach jumbled.

“S’wrong?”

Looking over your shoulder you glanced at Daryl. “Don’t like needles much.”

“Just take a second. Be over with.”

You nodded, wanting to take your mind off of it when Glenn went up – knowing you were next.

You gestured to the crossbow. “When are you going to teach me to shoot that?”

Daryl made a sound in his throat. “What makes ya think I’d do something stupid like that?”

“Could be fun, or helpful. I can shoot a regular bow pretty decently.”

You saw his jaw working while he eyed you. “That right?”

“Yeah, I wanted to be like Mulan.”

“Who the fuck’s that?”

“It’s a Disney movie.”

He huffed. “Don’t know if you took notice or not, but this ain’t no Disney movie, princess.”

You felt your nose wrinkle at the name, walking away to take your turn. “I’ve noticed, and don’t call me princess, Dixon.”

Why’d everybody have to be watching? You decided to look the other way as you felt the tourniquet being tied around your arm, the tight fit pinching your skin.

“I take it you’re not a fan of this?”

You smirked at the Jenner’s attempt to lighten things, turning to face him you were put off by the man’s eyes. You could tell from the way he smiled he was trying to make himself appear friendly but his eyes gave too much away. They were devoid of everything, no emotion whatsoever left in them. You realized he has given up. What that could mean for the rest of you here had you frightened.

You shook your head. “Not really.”

“A prick and a sting and it’ll be over. Would you mind if I took a look at your face?”

Before you could answer you felt the plunge of the needle embed itself under your skin making you wince.

“Why?”

“Photosensitivity, correct? We may have some things to help with that.”

Oh, shit. “I’d really appreciate that.”

“No problem. Be good on my end too, never seen a case up close before is it acute or –“

“Chronic, and if we’re going to get into questions, yeah, we’ve tried the therapy, yes I take the immunosuppressant and antihistamines, and yes it sucks.”

He chuckled and even that sound to you was hollowed out. “Okay then, I’ll show you the medications when we’re finished here.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Your arm kept burning but you held it in afraid of looking like a total wuss in front of everyone so when Jenner brought you to the cafeteria you went to hide in the kitchen with T-Dog. Glad to actually be able to help and take your mind off things. After scrounging in the woods having an abundance of ingredients was boggling. T-Dog suggested making spaghetti and you had set to work on the salad sneaking spices on the meat when he wasn’t looking. You didn’t know how long this would last and you’d like to taste something more than just salt and pepper. You mixed the butter seasoning with some of the chicken broth you found mixing it with garlic powder you slathered it on some bread before tossing it in the oven.

“What’d you do to the sauce, woman?”

You played innocent. “I didn’t do anything, Theodore.”

He put his hands on his hips, trying not to smile. “Come on now, can tell it tastes different than it had when I checked it last.”

“It taste bad?”

“I didn’t say that, but I know it wasn’t my work.”

“Eh, I’ll be nice and let you claim it. I’m going to start taking the other stuff out there and let you finish it up.”

Everyone was already laughing, and swapping stories from their lives before when you made it out there. Clapping commencing when they saw you had food for the table, T-Dog not far behind. You grinned feeling their cheer, and you could nearly pretend this was just a regular get together taking a seat next to Glenn.

“Have a drink, Y/N.”

Jacqui pushed a wine glass your way down the table.

“I don’t know.”

“Everyone’s having a glass tonight, sweetheart, it’s a time to rejoice. You smiled at Dale while he filled your glass feeling a little awkward. You weren’t opposed to drinking, but you never cared for wine. No, that was your mom’s preference, and when you were old enough to take a swig knew it wasn’t for you. But you accepted your glass gulping it down so the taste didn’t linger.

“It’s not a shot, Y/N.”

You let your teeth glide down your tongue, getting the remnants off it. “I just don’t care for wine.”

“Try some of this then, girlie.”

You blushed feeling the warmth of the alcohol spread, eyes brightening when Daryl came to put some whiskey in the glass.

“So there’s no tequila here then?”

He quirked a brow. “Didn’t take you for one ta like the hard shit.”

“And I didn’t know we were getting blotted tonight, but hey, may as well do it right.”

“Damn straight.”

He clinked the bottle to your glass, waiting til you brought to your lips to take a slug with you.

“Tastes better than the wine.”

It was then Carl had taken a sip that his parents let him have, coughing at the foul taste.

“That tastes nasty.”

You laughed, as his mom praised him. “Taste like grapes fermented in kerosene doesn’t it buddy?”

Shane smiled at you both. “Maybe you kids should be sticking to soda pop.”

Daryl shook his head, motioning to you and Glenn. “Like ta see how red these two can get. ‘Specially you Chinaman.”

Glenn rolled his eyes at the name, making you chuckle rubbing his arm. “I don’t know about him, but you guys have seen me red enough.”

Daryl took another drink from his bottle. “Looks fine ta me.”

You touched your cheek with one hand, taking the bottle from Daryl with the other. “Hoping the meds Jenner has can make the swelling go down.”

He nodded. “Good we’re here then, get ya to stock up.”

You had that exact idea in mind. “I will when we –“

You were cut off as Daryl’s hand reached out, one finger strumming down the bumps. Your eyes couldn’t leave his, watching the blue looking into yours as if he were searching for something.

“Didn’t mean it before ya know?”

“About what?”

“Thought I was callin’ ya ugly, wasn’t meaning to. Still pretty the way ya are.”

You felt like you couldn’t catch your breath at the statement. You’d never call yourself ugly, many people had complimented your looks before, many men had, you had took them for what they were never reading into them – never as flirting or something more. But this second you gave yourself a moment to ponder what could happen with this. The alcohol making it easy to loosen your tongue and say what you wanted.

“Thank you Daryl, I think you’re handsome the way you are too.”

He stiffened then, and you saw his eyes hardening wrenching his hand away from you.

“Drink up, girlie.”

With that he left you, dinner moving on, and Jenner showing you the infirmary.

“Aint lookin’ too good, Chinaman.”

Daryl had found the young man propped against the wall, face in his arm like he had been shot.

“Will you quit calling me that? I’m Korean, I’ve told you over and over.”

“Whatever, ya wanting help or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, can’t really remember where my room is though.”

“Fuck sake’s, you that much of a lightweight you don’t remember where you’re supposed to go?”

Thankfully he knew and after putting his hands under Glenn he raised him off the floor. “Hey, I drunk plenty, YOU made me drink plenty. I was surprised Y/N could even walk with how much you guys put in her glass. Hell Rick was having a hard time walking when I saw him.”

“Where’d she go anyways?”

“With Jenner, needed stuff for her face.”

“Right, and why didn’t ya go with her? We don’t know that guy.”

“Why me? You could’ve gone.”

“She ain’t my woman.”

Glenn cackled, making him sag sideways. “She’s not mine either.”

“Could’ve fooled me, how much ya hang around her.”

“We’re friends man, besides easy to see who she likes with how much time she spends with you.”

Daryl felt the heat rising up his neck. “Don’t need ta be saying shit like that.”

“Why not? Like I said, we’re friends, I can tell by the way she looks at you that she does –“ Glenn started pulling away from his grip. “You not like her or something? I thought with how you…you need to tell her then, so it doesn’t hurt her.”

“Not gonna hurt her.”

Making it to the door, he flung it open to drop Glenn on the bed hearing the shower running he knew his roommate was here to see to him. “Go ta sleep, gonna feel like shit in the mornin’.”

“It’s okay…to feel something for her…won’t tell on you or anything.”

“Will ya shut up?”

Glenn had conked out before he heard him, Daryl hearing the snores from the Asian kid. He shook his head leaving, he didn’t need to hear that stupid shit. No way in hell a girl like you felt anything more than pity for him. He kicked himself every time he fell for it, for each time he went back for you. He went to the cafeteria to get another bottle of whiskey hoping to numb down the shit coursing in his brain, draining a quarter of it before taking advantage of the shower.

He never took mind to being dirty, grew up with the water getting cut off enough that he got used to staying dirty or bathing in a stream. But it felt good, layers of sweat being rinsed off him his had laid on the glass wall. He gritted his teeth, his mind going back to you.

The way you smiled at him tonight like you had been waiting for him, happy to see he came to you. His hand went down to wrap around himself, letting out a shaky breath through his nose as he started pumping. Seeing the shock on your face when he had touched you, but there hadn’t been anything in your eyes saying you didn’t like it. He was good at picking up on things and if he had to he’d say the way your hands twitched and your stare locked on him you wanted to touch back.

But he had to be wrong, though he’d pretend that you did right now. The softness of your hand touching his face in return, maybe going down his chest to feel his heart thrumming, that sweet touch could go lower taking over his own hand. What if you let him touch you back, see each other come apart?

Feel your breath on his neck as he touched you down there as you touched him. God, he felt his balls tighten up, wanting so bad to feel you shake under him. With a groan he let himself release, cleaning up in a hurry to erase the crime.

It’d never happen, and he hated himself for letting himself think he had a chance even in his head. Getting dress he got down to half the bottle, the effects helping him relax as he settled into the bed. He was hoping to drop off before anything else popped in his brain. But before he could close his eyes banging came at the door.

“Hang on a damn second!”

The knocking ceased then, as he went to open it. His stomach flopped when he saw it was you, a shy smile coming on your face as he stared at you, you weren’t nowhere near as drunk as the Chinaman was but he could see your eyes were a bit glassy.

“What ya wantin’?”

You rubbed your lips together. “I wasn’t meaning to bother you or anything, but I was hoping you could use a roommate.”

His stomach flopped again, and he immediately answered. “No.”

That smile fell, hurt and anxiety replacing the happy sheen in your eyes. “I know you like to be alone and everything but this is the only other room that has an extra bed and –“

“Should’ve picked when ya had the chance not my fault ya missed out.”

“I was getting medicine for my face…fine, thanks, I’m stuck rooming with Walsh.”

You went to walk away, his stomach deciding to flop into his chest. “The fuck ya goin’ ta him for?”

“I told you, there’s no more rooms left. You and him are the only ones that didn’t have a roommate to bunk with. Seemed like a good idea to come to you…thought we were friends and everything. I’ll see you tomorrow, Daryl.”

He reached for you then, clasping your elbow in his hand. “Ain’t stayin’ in there with him. Both know he’s off his nut with that woman’s husband comin’ back.”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting me to do. I’m not kicking someone else out of their beds so I can have one. I’ll sleep in the game room or something.”

“Get yur ass in here before I change my mind.”

“Don’t be doin’ me any favors, Daryl.”

His jaw clenched. He knew he’d pissed you off. “I’m sorry I pissed ya off and shit, ya can either sleep in here or don’t!”

You blinked at him, before smiling again. “Why couldn’t you be that nice when I knocked?”

He watched you set your stuff down by the other bed. “I’ll try not to bother you. The kids are still up, so I’ll probably head to the game room for a while, maybe read in there –“

“Can’t sleep?” Or was it because he was in here?

You shook your head. “Nope, it’s nighttime right now, my clock’s turned on and won’t shut down. So I’ll wander around while you guys sleep. It’ll be like we’re back at the quarry. Try my best not to disturb you, sweet drunkard.”

He snorted. “Ain’t drunk, girl.”

He wanted to keep you talking, but didn’t know what to say, ending up chewing on his fingernail.

“Would it be okay if I used the shower?”

Fuck, he knew you could see his face turning red. “S’yours too. Shit’s already in there.”

You picked through your bag gathering a bundle of clothes to change into when you started moving towards the bathroom. You turned around and backtracked, reaching a hand out towards his face. Daryl came close to pulling back, used to hands coming out only to smack him. But you didn’t feeling the lightness of your fingertips moving a piece of hair off his forehead.

“I don’t which is more handsome, you clean or dirty. But you do smell a lot better.”

He didn’t reply eyes moving from you as he clicked his tongue. He heard the door to the bathroom click and he sighed, he needed another drink.

He felt himself being stirred, and he didn’t have to open his eyes to know it was you.

“What the hell ya wantin’ now?”

You were whispering, like the two of you were in a library or something. “Can I use your bag?”

His eyes opened then. “Fuck for?”

“I need to put things in it, I’ve went to get some of that medicine and stuff, and now I’m going to get some of the MRE’s and canned food.”

“Put the shit in your bag.”

“I don’t have any more room, please?”

“Why’re ya even taking shit for?”

You took a moment to answer. “Doesn’t it…I just feel like this is one of those too good to be true things. Like something bad’s going to happen. You know? Something’s wrong with Jenner, I don’t know. I went in there not too long ago and saw him talking to Rick. He was trying to comfort him, but it felt so cold.”

“What’d he say?”

“Was telling Rick everything would be okay, I don’t feel like it is though, not here. Is that bad? Am I wrong?”

Daryl rubbed at his face staring at the dark ceiling. “I don’t know, Y/N. Best be prepared, so don’t be looking through my shit in the bag.”

“Thank you, Daryl.”

“Yeah.”

When he woke again, he was warm. Not in a bad way, he felt comfortable, content. Taking his time to let the drowsiness wear off. His senses came back, noting heaviness around him. Opening his eyes he saw you snug against him. Head laid up on his chest, arm splayed on his stomach, and hair wrapped around his neck like a scarf. It was nice. Something he didn't want to admit, he needed to move. He couldn't think why you were even over here. Trying to slip away, you nestled closer, his arms enclosing on your arms to get them to stop gripping him.

"Where're you going?"

He flushed, glancing down to see your bleary eyes blinking at him.

"Why are ya even over here?"

"I was cold. You said I could."

He thought back to last night could barely recall being shaken away a second time when you whispered to him that the room was freezing. If you could please share the bed and warmth. His drunken haze had debilitated him, letting his need to feel you overcome rational thought.

"It's mornin' gotta get up."

"I know, went to bed not too long ago."

No wonder he barely remembered sleep being too in depth so early, and no wonder you were exhausted your schedule fucked up now that you were underground. "Need ta push through it then, gotta ask the doc yur questions don't ya?"

You had moved deeper on the small bed, taking over where his warmth had been. "You'd tell me wouldn't you? If something big's happening?"

He shrugged. "Guess I can. Better if ya heard it from him wouldn't it?"

"I trust you to tell me, Daryl. Besides, I know it's pessimistic, but I don't need a doctor or a scientist to tell me that we're pretty much screwed."

You were right, neither of you did.

Tags!

@jennysintardis

@derpypenguin

@jodiereedus22

@sapphire1727

#the walking dead #twd #twd fanfiction #twd fandom #daryl dixon #reader #daryl x reader #daryl x you #locations

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coffeesforfuckers · 7 years

Text

Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Two

Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background

Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer. But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go! Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen. All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year. That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place. That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair. It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.

Chapter 2: Two: On the Rooftop with You

Pete

As the days pass over us faster than any of us liked, I made friends , and some really cool ones too.

Not Patrick of course.

He hated me.

Me on the other hand? Nope. I have a bit of a thing for the hat boy. He's quite adorable if I'm honest, he's small and loud as all hell. He seems to be pretty bright and bouncy all the time, it was enjoyable.

I teased him a lot, but I don't really know how to show actual affection, that's how I show affection myself really.

It was frustrating.

Patrick rolls over in his sleep, grabbing around his bed until he gripped the sheets in his hand and pulled them to his chest, hugging them tightly. He was so cute, he always held stuff in his sleep.

Once when we were all drunk he held my hand until he fell asleep. I think that's when I noticed that this kid was making me feel things that I shouldn't.

I hear the door squeak open and someone fumbles with the door, accidentally dropping it and it clanks closed. He gasps and I can hear him get smacked.

“Do you really want to get caught?” A familiar voice chimes in a whisper, I glance over the room, Patrick's besides me, Andy’s across from him, Joe's across from me, but Jack and Alex are not in their beds. That is until the pair scurry to their beds quietly and jump into them. It was only two in the morning.

Where did those two run off too?

I would figure that out later, right now, I need sleep.

Patrick

I wake up around noon, earlier than normal unless somebody else wakes me. Pete's rummaging through his bag and everybody else is gone.

I learned Pete's name after two weeks of sharing a room with him when he got sick of being called the emo kid.

I'm normally much more vulgar when referring to him though. He notices I'm awake but says nothing, continuing to do whatever.

That is until he drops his boxers.

“Whoa! What the fuck!?” I choke as I sit upright. Pete turns to face me with a confused look on his face.

“What? You've never seen a dick before?” He shrugs and tugs his shirt off his head. (Holy shit… He has a really fucking nice body).

I stumble out of bed and try to find something to distract myself from the sight. I was gay as fuck and let me just tell you, no man with that perfect of a body has ever stripped down in front of me.

I want to fuck the emo boy.

Nothing more, nothing less and no strings attached.

What better place than summer camp to do it?

***

“Patrick, you need to start getting up at normal times.” Joe speaks as I sit down on the ground with my food, “You missed breakfast, dude.”

“I always do, Joe. If I wanted it bad enough I'd be up when it's being served.” I shrug, still practically shaking over what I just witnessed.

Dallon, Spencer, Jon and Ryan all come and go in our little group with their food, striking up conversation. I'm not sure why Ryan ever really hung out with as he obviously didn't like us. He never had.

Soon enough we were joined by Pete and he had the Way brothers and Frank Iero following close behind. They all sat with us and Pete kept giving me some side glances, causing me to freeze up, I was so freaked out over it. This stupid emo kid would not be the one to out me.

Joe

I finished my food and Andy was already done. I glance over at him and he smirks back at me.

“I gotta go take a piss then I'll probably go get lost in the woods so I'll see you guys later.” I stand and start making my way off to the other side of the camp.

I notice Andy making an excuse, walking the opposite direction and into the woods. I make my way to our rock and wait for him to climb it. He takes forever but I don't really blame him. As soon as he spots me, he picks up speed and jogs over to me, pinning me to the rock and kissing me instantly.

I laugh and push him back, “Babe, we'll get caught.” I say and he shrugs at me.

“I don't care, I just want to kiss your cute face.” He mumbles and goes to kiss me again.

“If you help me over the rock we can fuck.” I wink and he is instantly climbing over the boulder. I smirk as he lifts me up once I get to the part that I can't climb myself.

He'll do almost anything if I bribe him with sex.

And the same goes for myself.

Patrick

We were all crammed into Alex’s mini-van that he only had for ‘touring’ purposes with his band. Right now, Alex, Dallon, Jack, Frank, Pete, Spencer, Gerard and I were shoved into the over-crowded car. The group of us all just had gone out to eat and were now on our way over to a pub in town to meet up with some of our older friends and counselor that were in their twenties and could drink. They chose this place because people under eighteen could go in as well but just couldn’t drink.

I wasn’t feeling the greatest but I didn’t want to ruin the fun for everybody else.

I’m stuck sitting next to Pete who has way too much energy for any person, he’s too loud and very obnoxious.

I’d still fuck him though.

I’m staring out the window, watching the world flash by me, my eyes are drooping somehow as a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over me. Even with Pete like screaming besides me (along with everybody else in the car) and the music is blaring into my ear. My eyes still just cannot stay open.

Pete

I’m bouncing around, ‘singing’ at the top of my lungs along with the music, everybody else doing the same (Except Alex, Dallon, Frank and Gerard can actually sing). The only person seeming to be not having any fun. I felt kind of bad.

Patrick's head suddenly falls to rest on my shoulder and I stop, my voice cutting out and movement stopping. He looked so at peace, tired and content just laying on me, fully asleep. I loved sleepy Patrick so much, he was so adorable.

My favorite thing is that he's so bloodless, not trying so hard to be a little punk boy.

Fuck me, he's so cute…

I don't have the heart to wake him.

Patrick

I awake suddenly and sit upright, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I'm dazed, unsure of where I am for a moment, quickly remember being out with all the guys. That's when I realize there's nobody else in the car, except for myself and him.

Pete .

“What are you doing?” I grumble sleepily, still rubbing my eyes with my balled fists.

“Um, we're at the place, they had me stay with you.” He sounds pissed about it but his face says otherwise.

I go to speak but he's already clamouring out of the other car door, “Well then…”

***

The stars are really pretty tonight, so bright. I'm laid on the ledge of the roof, it was a huge space. I mean it was big enough to hold me and probably Alex or something laying side-by-side.

Pete and I could fuck on it and not have to worry.

Anyway, my hands were behind my head as a cushion and my legs were crossed one over the other. I tap my foot against the stone out of habit.

“ I'm just the man on the balcony, singin’ nobody will ever remember me, rejoice, rejoice and fall… to your knees .” I sing loudly into the bleak night, my voice trailing as I hadn't written more than that and the melody. I just continue to hum the rest.

“Whoa.” I hear a shocked and amazed gasp coming from closeby.

I jump and turn towards where the sound had come from.

Pete .

“Ugh, what do you want?” I grunt, rolling my eyes, turning to face the stars again.

“You're really, really good, Patrick.” Pete enthuses as he sways over the ledge, sitting a few inches from my head and tossing his legs over the edge. He starts looking up at the sky, “I thought that Alex was good but wow…” He mumbles, more to himself than anything.

“Thanks I guess…” I mutter and we sit in silence for a long while, “Why are you up here?” I finally ask.

“I got bored with all the drunk people.” He shrugs at me, “Why are you up here?” He glances down at me.

“Nauseous and the alcohol scent doesn’t really help that.” I look back at him, eyebrows raised.

“That sucks… Did-... You alright?” He looks back up at the sky.

“Yeah, as good as I can be when I’m stuck with you and feeling like shit while wanting to be in my bed.” I mutter and Pete’s shoulders slump a bit. I close my eyes momentarily and open them to find Pete staring right at me, “W-... What?” I look at him confused.

Pete leans down until my nose is touching his chin, “Is this alright, Patrick?” He breathes against my mouth. I go to nod and knock my nose into Pete’s hard-ass jaw. I grunt and mutter a ‘sure’ .

Pete kisses me and it seems like it was supposed to be a quick peck on the lips but soon Pete was trying to stumble into a better position as well as myself.

Soon Pete’s almost straddling me as I sit up, leaning back at the pressure of him on me. He pulls me to the ground as to keep us from tumbling off the roof. He’s kissing me lustfully and I can feel his pants are tight pressed against me. I try and push my tongue past his lips, Pete seems like an amature with how sloppy he is but I also believe that he had a few drinks downstairs, enough to be more ‘confidant’ but not so much as he wouldn’t remember this.

He’s almost confused by how I try and use tongue but he catches on quick so I could care less. Soon the kissing moves to Pete trying to take my shirt off. I catch his hands. Yes , I want to fuck him, no, I do not want my shirt off when it happens.

He pulls back from our kiss, “What’s wrong? Am I moving too fast?” He seems to worry.

“I just… I don’t want to take my shirt off if that’s cool.” I give him an anxious smile.

“Why not?” He furrows his brow.

“You wouldn’t get it, mostly because you’re not, nor have you ever been… um… fat.” I say to him and he shakes his head.

“Patrick, it doesn’t matter what ‘size’ you are.” Pete tells me informatively.

I swallow hard, “Yeah… Uh, it does… You’ll never let it go once you see how fat I am, so can we please-”

“Whoa! I would never, ever make fun of someone, let alone you, for being fat… That’s just fucked up.” He defends genuinely and I smile, a real smile, at him for the first time ever.

“If you really want to…” I’m not fully sure but I feel like I can trust him with all these kinds of dirty little secrets.

Pete

I gently take the hem of his shirt, my heart in my throat as I pull it up over Patrick’s head. I look him over, staring in awe at his body. He wasn’t like obese like he made it sound, he had really nice collarbones and he had a somewhat chubby belly with adorable love handles, he was so perfect and I think this is truly the moment that I realized that I was going to be obsessing over this stupid blonde-haired boy forever.

He reaches for his shirt but I pull it back before he can take it, “Pete, come on, you’re staring!” He whines and I feel a bit bad.

“I’m just trying to take all of you in, Patrick.” I give him a smile, letting him remove my shirt. He pokes the tattoo above my crotch.

“What's that?” He asks me.

“Oh, Um… It’s a bat with a heart in it.” I laugh and Patrick grins, “Wanna see it better?” I smirk and he leans forward, kissing me like before. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing, I’d never done any of this before. I’d ‘dated’ before and I’ve ‘kissed’ but like, it’s never been anything close to this.

Patrick gets my pants off and soon I have his off.

What was I doing?

Fuck.

Patrick fumbles his wallet out of his pocket, getting a condom out and looks me over reassuringly, “You ready? It’s gonna fucking hurt ‘cause I don’t have any lube or anything to um… ‘prep’ you with so I just have to pretty much go right in.” He seems worried, “If you don’t want to for that reason then we don’t have to.” I shake my head, I wanted to lose my virginity to Patrick.

“I’ll be fine, I think.” I’m visibly trembling. Patrick sits back and pulls me forward a bit, he grabs his shirt and hands it to me, “You can bite either this or me, I don’t have a preference.” He shrugs.

He’s fucking kinky, oh lord.

“Okay, but what if I hurt you?” I ask as I move to straddle him somewhat.

“I can handle it.” He smirks, kissing my neck, I let out a soft moan and move to sit on his cock and this is probably the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I bite down on Patrick’s shirt and squeeze my eyes shut, “You can go slow if you need, Pete.” He mumbles into my neck.

It hurt but I am so okay with it if it’s him.

***

Patrick and I were sweaty and struggling to catch our breaths. I lean in to kiss him but he stops me, “Pete, what?” He seems confused.

“I just… I don’t know… I thought that… Uh…” I look down at the ground as I pulls my pants back on.

“This was just a one time thing, yeah? Like, no strings attached.” Patrick says and I feel like I could pass out, it was all for nothing.

“You used me?” I ask and Patrick looks kind of sorry.

“I thought that was going to be a mutual agreement. I don’t do commitment well. I mostly feel ‘quick fuck’ about everybody and never a ‘forever’.” He shrugs, “Could you please not mention his to anybody? I’m not out to anybody, like at all.” I just nod.

“Whatever makes you happy, Patrick.”

Chapter Masterlist ~

Previous-

One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad

Next-

Three - I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He’s Kind of Cute?

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stopourworld-blog · 7 years

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Logic - Anziety

[Intro: Lucy Rose] Everything is fine, everything is so fine Everything is fine, everything is so fine 'Cause I'm good, so good 'Cause I'm good, so good, so good I wish you would, I wish you would I wish you would, I wish you would I wish you would, this is my life This is my all, this is my all And now I'm happy, right now I'm happy, but sometimes

In the Intro, Lucy Rose starts portraying someone trying to convince themselves they are fine, when in fact, they aren’t. [Chorus] I'ma get up in your mind right now I'ma get up in your, I'ma get it Gon' get up, gon' get up Gon' get up, get up, get up, get up I'ma get up in your mind right now Make you feel like dying right now I'ma make you pray to God To the good old Lord for a sign right now To the good old Lord I'ma get up in your mind right now Make you feel like dying right now I'ma make you pray to God To the good old Lord for a sign right now To the good old Lord

Logic takes place, rapping from the point of view of a personified anxiety, and how it attacks our minds, bringing feelings of confusion, uneasiness, despair. [Verse 1] “I'ma make it some day some how” what you telling yourself But you ain't focused on what's important: mentality, health Everybody in the world only want one thing, what's that? Infinite power and a pocket full of wealth Its like ohh I'ma bring it back to the basics Nobody can erase it People in the street going ape shit Battling depression but nobody wanna say shit I'ma bring it back to the basics I'ma bring it back to the basics I'ma get up, get on That's what I been on Fuckin' with your mind, tryna turn shit on But they want to paint me as a villain Even though I'm here to open their mind Through the rhyme of life I gotta open their mind and design the right time To make a decision and get in 'em like an incision 'Cause I'ma hit 'em and give 'em livin' They wonder what I'm giving, I'ma never give in I gotta let everybody know I'm in their mind right now

In this verse, Logic continues to rap from the perspective of anxiety itself, talking about how people want money and power and forget to take care of their mental health. He also brings up the “positive” side of anxiety: although it is a villain to people, waking up their demons, it can also make us fight against what causes our anxiety, therefore giving us a more peaceful state of mind.

[Chorus] I'ma get up in your mind right now Make you feel like dying right now I'ma make you pray to God To the good old Lord for a sign right now To the good old Lord I'ma get up in your mind right now Make you feel like dying right now I'ma make you pray to God To the good old Lord for a sign right now To the good old Lord [Verse 2] I'ma bring it back to the basics Nobody can erase it People in the street going ape shit Battling depression but nobody wanna say shit Why nobody wanna say I been living with this everyday Why nobody wanna say Everything will be ok I'ma bring it back to the basics Everything will be okay I remember somehow, someway I remember somehow, someway I remember somehow, someway I remember somehow, someway

Logic talks about how people can’t erase anxiety, especially when people don’t talk about it. It’s something that should be discussed, not treated as a taboo. [Speech] It was December of 2015 in sunny Los Angeles California in the heart of Hollywood I stood next to my wife in a line surrounded by hundreds of other people on our way to watch Star Wars When suddenly I was engulfed with fear and panic As my body began to fade In this moment my mind was full of clarity But my body insisted it was in danger I looked around and I told myself I was safe, I was fine But I was convinced that something was wrong Before I knew it I felt as though I was going to Fall and fade away My body grew weak And soon enough I found myself in a hospital bed being told what I went through was anxiety I refused to believe this story I searched and searched for the cause of what had happened to me I began to feel detached from reality I felt as though I was seeing the world through a glass I got blood work done Analysis of my mind and body to no avail The doctor said it was anxiety But how could it be anxiety? How could anxiety make me physically feel off balance? How could anxiety make me feel as though I was fading from this world and on the brink of death? Derealization The sense of being out of one's body I'm not here I'm not me I'm not real Nothing is Nothing but this feeling of panic Nobody understands Nobody knows the sufferings This physical feeling It can't be anxiety It can't Or can it? Can it in fact be the mind controlling the body? Yeah, of course I'm so in control of my mind and my body But I'm subconsciously forcing myself into a state Of self bondage entangled by the ropes of my own mind I am unhappy Not with life But with this feeling I am scared, I am human, I am a man But I look in the mirror and I see a child I am an adult who recognize grown ups don't really know shit And they never did And it scares me Cause now I'm just a grown up who doesn't know shit But one thing is I do know this feeling this horrible feeling is going to kill me No, no this feeling This anxiety is nothing I have anxiety Just like you, the person I wrote this for And together we will overcome this feeling We will remember despite the attacks and constant feeling of our mind and body being on the edge That we are alive And any moments we have free of this feeling we will not take for granted We will rejoice in this gift that is life We will rejoice in this day that we have been given We will accept our anxiety and strive for the betterment of ourselves Starting with mental health We will accept ourselves as we are And we will be happy with the person we see in the mirror We will accept ourselves And live... with anxiety.

The song ends with a speech from Logic, talking about his own experience with anxiety, detailing his first anxiety attack and how scary and frightening it was. We can see the confusion on his mind of realizing how serious anxiety can be, and that it affects us not only psychologically, but physically.

He reminds us to rejoice every moment we see ourselves free of the terrible feeling of anxiety, and with the song’s final line, he accepts that life will go on with anxiety, and that’s ok.

#analysis

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