You ever just wake up in tears because you constantly feel like everything is crashing down around you

ok ok, listen. I am gonna be straight with you. I am not a Patholic nerd and I really like the game. it has one of the most extraordinary stories/lore, plus its gloomy aesthetic is just my shit. but as a local Khalkh Mongolian, I very much dislike the herb bride designs. they have no inspiration from the cultures they are supposed to vaguely resemble, like literally nothing. i am a visual type of person and love it, ADORE it when shit is pretty to look at, it's in my blood. instead they opted for looking like straight-up savage unevolved cartoon cavewomen with skimpy outfits and foliage in their hair for good measure.

they look so out of place here, which you could argue its intentional but cmonnn???

here’s my take on how they could have looked like or at least what kind of things the devs missed out on:

—and their hair should have been braided in many different styles? all three of the major inspirations for the kin doesn’t like loose hair, if we are speaking traditionally. i really like these thin braids:

yeah, i get Orkhon economy is in shambles so no jewelry and colorful clothes but at least cover their boobage?? idk just slap on thin deel + belt and then just rough it up? make decorations out of wood?? and beads out of bones without just dangling them?? just because shit is desperate doesn't mean we gotta lose our dignity too?

edit: This post’s main point is not about restricting the nudity or the creative liberty i am only saying they should have approached this aspect from a different perspective with a native eyes on the IPL development team. It may have came off that way because i used the word boobage huh?

mmg,, i might hiatus again,,,

I'd hate to do it, but there's no joy in crab posts as of right now, and also as of a long while ago.

Managing messages and responding to people in replies and being tagged and all the stuff in inbox is. a lot.

I never intended or expected crab blog to get this big, and it feels like such a chore to do at this point. Not that I dont like it, and not that I dont enjoy the fellow crab lovers, but it's certainly overwhelming.

That plus other socials and such that I manage and real life stuff is just. IDK, it's a lot. Usually, if I get to this point, I just drop off, maybe delete the account if I really can't stand it, but I'm definitely not going to do that here.

At the very least, I'm going to empty out the submissions that have been piling up, but after that, I'm not sure. I may not even get through all of those, I've already been relying on those for a long time at this point, and I think that's pretty obvious.

It feels like a hassle to deal with those anyways since most people don't even identify what type of crab it is that they submit, so I have to take the time to find it, which is usually not at all easy. There are so many posts that I've just had to guess what to tag it as because I just don't know, and there's no solid answer that I can find, at least not usually.

Which is also partially my fault, I've never said anything about it before, and I never specified it at an earlier time to make incoming ones less stressful to deal with, but even so I just. I don't know, I don't.

I don't know exactly when it'll happen, but it's the most likely thing to happen from here. I think I'll modify some stuff about how I handle the daily-crabbys blog to make it easier on me when I come back, but I'm not entirely sure what that'll be. I've never managed a successful daily posting account before, I haven't the slightest clue how to make it all easier on me.

Sorry that this has gotten so long, I didn't mean to rant. There's just so much that I feel like I need to say.

This isn't something coming out of nowhere, and it isn't going to be immediate. I've thought about wanting to do this for a while, and I know I did this already not too long ago, but I didn't really change anything for myself, so I'm just burnt out a lot faster.

Sorry again, both for the length of this and the fact that it's going to happen, but I've just got to make things better for myself before I carry on long term. I really just fucked myself over by not doing this the first time, but if I don't do something about it eventually then I'll just end up hating this blog too much to continue.

🦀💜

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man. i wanna get back into multifandom stuff but at the same time i cannot feel anything for things that arent idkhow anymore :,)

in other news, i think i've finally!!!! planned out and fully decided on my first tattoo and will be scheduling her shortly

Might be a hot take but a major character’s death is really only as good as the weight and the treatment that the narrative gives it. Sure, any author has the ability to write death as they see fit. But whether the consumer (of any given form of media) is actually able to emotionally connect and resonate with the departure of someone who has occupied a good chunk of narrative space very heavily depends on how it’s treated within the story. If it’s a major character, the narrative needs enough built-in breathing space. As in, the consumer doesn’t have to fill in the blanks as to how the death impacted the plot or the remaining characters. Let the narrative do that for them, and that would actually allow the consumer to better react and relate to that major death (sadness, anger, joy, etc). Allow the rest of the characters (who were impacted by the deceased) to react to their parting. Let them engage with the death in a manner that helps justify the character’s inclusion in the narrative to begin with. Make it clear how the character’s life and (especially) their death relate to the larger themes of the story. Because most consumers aren’t stupid. We don’t want our hands held at every waking moment, but we also don’t want our investment in a story to be insulted just for the sake of a cheap shock. Give us time to breathe and grieve. And respect that we have put in a lot of emotional investment in a story and its characters, and we deserve to have that acknowledged.

Tossing and turning in bed plagued by visions (Ed Edgar headcanons that are definitely just me projecting my cowboy ass autistic interest in strange animals onto him bc he too is a strange southern man with autistic swag)

Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.

thinking about all the women whose orbits i've had to remove myself from bc they meant too much to me while i meant too little to them

"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne

i am so filled w love rn i am so ,,,,, Something. & maybe i am allowed to be comfortable w someone for the first time ever mayb i am safe...... i keep saying this because i never thought i would b. but it only feels more true,,, more possible as time goes on n that is wild 2 me

thinkimg about michael the distortion…. my favorite guy… my favorite blorbo… oh no…

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adulthood is just visiting ur friends, saying "damn bitch, you live like this?" (affectionate) and aggressively helping them clean up while they politely tell you that you don't have to do that. and then having friends do that to you when they visit your apartment.

meta videogame bullshit my beloved