#eventually i'll probably branch out more than i have (a little bit of reading up on places/ people/ elements i want to draw)
Note
Is the lymond chronicles something I can get into if I know little of history and do not speak many romance languages?
Yes! I mean, it depends on your reading preferences and how you feel about being confused, but I certainly did!
That's my short answer! If you give them a try, I hope you find the series worth it, and I believe that what you like in a story will matter more than what you do or don't know going in.
My much longer answer, about my reading experience, is ....
In my case, I knew the names of monarchs and had a vague familiarity with the setting of the first book (Tudor/1540s Scotland and England). I speak a useful amount of French and a tiny bit of Spanish. Comparing experiences with friends, French was an especially helpful language to have, but I feel confident saying that I would have loved these books without it.
The thing about The Game of Kings (book 1) is that it’s just confusing. Dorothy Dunnett wastes no time in throwing political intrigue, multilingual references, and many characters at you. But even if you’re an expert in the history and in (modern and archaic) English, French, Latin, Spanish, Scots, and a little bit of Italian and German, you are faced with a protagonist who’s running back and forth across the border and interfering with that history … while guarding his goals and motives, explaining nothing about his past, and constantly quoting poetry from the personal library of a mind he doesn’t want to let anyone inside. Most of the people he meets don’t understand him, either.
For me, it was so rewarding when I finally started to learn what was happening and who he is, and after that the ride truly began…
I did not look up many references or translations and just kinda went with it. I was enjoying myself enough that I didn’t mind that so much was going over my head (especially if it was coming out of Lymond’s mouth), and within a few chapters I’d gotten invested in one of the characters (Christian!) and was entranced by a recurring joke/element. By the second section (let’s say … 175 pages in …), I was hooked, obsessed with a second character (Will!), interested in most of the rest, and having a great time.
There’s a character list in non-audio editions (the David Monteath audiobooks are very good, though), and companion books exist with translations/sources for many of the references. There are also various online recaps and chapter-by-chapter discussions. Looking things up yourself as you go along can reduce confusion, but be warned that many of the characters are versions of real people, so you may learn more than you want to know, such as when they die. 470-year-old spoilers, but still.
For me, the characters (complexity, parallels, relationships) and writing (playfulness, beauty, INCREDIBLE use of perspective and unreliable narration) are what make the books so good. They reward rereading, so, when/if you return, you’ll have another chance to go down some reference rabbit holes, and even if you don’t, you will understand much more.
The second book is generally agreed to be easier to understand! Also, there are elephants.
Perhaps more important than knowledge of history and languages is the reader's tolerance for …
angst. pain. agony. devastating reminders of prior angst and pain and agony
on the flipside, truly ridiculous antics, hijinks, and capers
many, many kinds of traumatic/potentially triggering content
bias/bigotry that shows up in characters’ perspectives and in general (not that newer media is free of this, but these books are from the 1960s and 70s, for context)
occasional elements that stretch the definition of historical fiction
revelations about your favorite authors’ influences (this was fun)
excessive reference to and description of Lymond’s beauty
half? a third? a large amount of the cast being in love with Lymond. This made for way more queer text than I knew to expect, which was great, but also … oh my god everyone is in love with him
the most bantering banter to ever banter, mostly, but certainly not entirely, courtesy of Lymond
Thanks for asking! If any of this raises more questions, ask again!
related: my lymond recs tag. There are mild and out-of-context spoilers, but these posts all sum up something about the series. :)
#lymond#lymond recs#questions#if anyone who sees this wants to chime in ... please do!#i love that so many people bring historical knowledge to the series/fandom#and/or end up diving into research because of it#i did not! history interests me but i really didn't know much about this era#so i eat that context right up#i also tend to have a very long wallowing-in-the-text phase when i find a new thing i love#so i'm still over here rereading multiple books at once because reading something else would mean reading something else!#eventually i'll probably branch out more than i have (a little bit of reading up on places/ people/ elements i want to draw)#much to learn as always#re: the language list ... there are probably more that i forgot#even in GoK#re: everyone being in love with Lymond ... that's probably not the most accurate way to put it but i was going for a tone...
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Tag 9 people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @dummerjan, @misspoetree, @letsabandonthisworld (I got around to it eventually!)
Three ships
I love power dynamics in ships, and people who absolutely should not be together. I love people who could destroy one another if they chose to. Whose family or society would be horrified they are together. Bonus points if they are definitely fucking each other up, but continue anyway.
Dongfang Qingcang/Shangque - Love between fairy and devil Ghostship
I love the idea that Shangque is this ancient, powerful dragon but is utterly devoted to Qingcang, knows all his habits, looks after his little mood swings, let's him feel like he's in control even though he probably knows rightly how to manipulate him if he wanted to. Qingcang is the definition of cringefail edgy villain who tries not to show that he's squishy in the middle but only for the right people.
VegasKim - Kinnporsche Ghostship
I really don't care at all about the cousins angle here. When you take a step back and think, our weirdness about that is rooted in concerns around genetic risks and that's uh, not really an issue with same-sex stuff, y'know? Anyway, no, the bit that does it for me is that both families would be outraged, and that they are both utterly tough and unhinged about the family business and absolutely could destroy one another. And they are definitely fucking up each other's lives, ambitions, and self-identity.
Gahan - The Devil Judge main co-stars
Kim Gaon and Kang Yohan are so clearly into each other. So much fascination with each other, how the others operates, what motivates them, the grudging respect. But also just really hot for it. The roaming eyes on both sides when shirts are off. The moments of softness Yohan allows to slip out, the moments of brokenness and anger that Gaon suffers Yohan to witness, how they betray each other but are inexorably drawn together again anyway. I love the moment Yohan risks discovery to save Gaon. I love the moment Gaon risks his life to go down with Yohan. I love both gradually realising the other will come to rescue them, no matter what the risk. I love the age gap. I love how different they are, and how they are two broken pieces which fit together perfectly nonetheless. It's messy and beautiful.
Honorable mentions: WangXian ults, obvs. But I can't put them in every single one of these so I'm trying to branch out.
First ever ship - BtVS: Sprusilla
The second I laid eyes on Drusilla and her graceful, syrupy brand of crazy I was in love, and Spike is such a cringefail dark little villain I was always going to fall for him. They are perfect together. I wish they'd had a spin off series Bonnie&Clyde-ing all over Europe.
Last song
I got this recc from a fanfic. Fucken love when people have fic songs! Set the vibe, queen, I wanna cosy up in your brain.
Last movie - Wandering Earth
Currently reading
Mastering Active Directory by Dishan Francis. Don't even ask, honestly.
But I pretty much read some kind of snuggly fanfic every night to get to sleep - I need my 'literal sleeping together' angst fix.
Currently watching
Just finished Physical: 100 (the women! 👀👀👀) and Moonlight Chicken (this was my first FourthGemini and I am SOLD, holy smokes).
Deciding now between The Glory, Interview with the Vampire (which I'm resuming at ep 5 after the friend I was watching with got distracted by his girl and I am tired of waiting), and I'll probably cave to My School President even though I hate school BLs because of the aforementioned FourthGemini. I'm also still in the middle of Taxi Driver and a rewatch of Magicians with a different friend.
Currently consuming
It's been a really hard month so I've gone back to comfort food; so sweet and sour chicken, pad thai, garlic ramen. And still burning toast every time I come home drunk, lol.
Currently craving
I dunno. Friends who actually want to dance as something more than just pulling at the club? Skinship? An occasional twink to spoil? A deeper conversation? Carrot cake?
Issue declined due to absence of required parameters
Pretty sure everyone has done it already, but just in case, tagging @hilema @negrowhat @dream-thief-forever-amen @cloudburst-ink @eyesof-kkomi @staytotheend @saturnskyline @hoe-for-jihyo @sinistergooseberries
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Alistair's Dream Journal: Entry 1
So, first things first: I tried dabbing holy water on my wrist like Sam from @rainbowxocs suggested, and it didn't burn me, so I tried using holy water to cleanse my coffin to see if that would get rid of the dreams. (I also poured some holy water on the ground outside my bedroom window because occasionally when I wake up from my dreams my window will be open a little bit, though I had thought that may just be because of the wind and the fact that this house is super old.) As I'm sure you can guess by the fact that this post is titled "Alistair's Dream Journal", I still had a dream... BUT something interesting happened during the dream that I think may be related to the holy water? Potentially?
-
I'll just start from the beginning. Every dream starts with me "waking up" somewhere on the path in that... weird forest... When I "woke up" this time, I noticed that my hand that had been stabbed in my previous dream was wrapped in some bandages... I guess Ruby must have bandaged it for me at some point? I was about to ask Ruby about it, when I suddenly heard something rustling in the tree branches above us. I looked up and saw this... strange dove. It's bright white feathers stood out starkly against the gnarled dark branches of the trees and flora around us. It almost appeared to be glowing in the dark...
The dove suddenly flew a little further down the path, landed on another branch, and then turned to look at me. It seemed like it wanted me to follow it, so... I did... I thought "Hey, maybe it's connected to the holy water and it's here to guide us to safety?" But when I told Ruby about what I did with the holy water and my theory about the dove being a guide to safety, she didn't seem convinced... it's hard to read her face because of the button eyes and her mouth being sewn shut, but she definitely frowned when I mentioned the holy water... I probably should have taken that as a hint that following the dove was a bad idea...
We continued to follow the dove down the path for a while, with it flying ahead a few feet whenever we got close to it and then stopping and turning around to look at us, until eventually I felt this suddenly stabbing pain in both of my feet. I looked down and there was a pin going through one of the simple travel boots that I was wearing in the dream and a needle was going through the other? I looked around and realized that there were pins and needles scattered all across the path... As I removed the needle and pin (ouch), I saw Ruby reach for one of the other pins on the path and tried to tell her not to touch them... but she ignored me and grabbed three needles and three pins and put them in her basket anyway...
I heard a trill from the dove above us and looked up at it... It seemed to be getting inpatient with us for stopping, so I went back to following it while carefully making sure to avoid anymore pins or needles, even though my feet hurt a lot when I walked... (Honestly, it hurt way more than it seems like it should have? Like, walking was complete agony, even though I really just had tiny and relatively minor injuries from some simple pins and needles?? I started to worry it might be from tetanus or something, but tetanus symptoms don't start showing that quickly...)
Eventually, we reached a fork in the path. One was completely covered in pins... And the other path wasn't much better, since it was covered in needles... I really didn't want to get stabbed by anymore pins or needles and I would have just walked beside one of the paths if I could, but I'm pretty sure going off the path even a little bit might be... extremely dangerous...
I saw the dove go down the path of pins, so I decided to just accept that I had to go down that path and get stabbed with more pins than one of those tomato pin cushion things... I had Ruby hop on my back so I could give her a piggyback ride because I didn't want her to get hurt too, and then I started to follow the dove again...
Every step hurt... But we only got a few feet down the path when... something happened...
A pomegranate suddenly fell from the branches above us and was impaled by the pins... I swear I heard a someone scream when it hit the pins... That horrible rotting smell overpowered my senses again as a dark fluid that looked like blood oozed out of the "pomegranate"... I could only stare at it, feeling stuck in my spot despite my fear of the horrible thing and the wretched odor coming from it... The woods seemed to become even darker than they had been before... and the "pomegranate" appeared to almost... twitch... and pulsate... in the darkness... it looked like a beating heart... And I could hear what sounded like heartbeats all around us, growing louder and louder every second until they sounded like drums beating right next to my ears... I thought I heard another scream cut through the awful sound for a moment, but that one might have come from me...
Then... I saw tiny hands creep into the edges of my vision and slowly move to cover my eyes... and everything stopped...
-
When I opened my eyes again, I was awake...
...and my window and my coffin were both wide open.
I tried to run over to the window, but walking hurt so bad that my vision went all fuzzy and I stumbled and fell... I had to use a nearby chair for support to help me stand back up... when I finally managed to reach the window by using the furniture for support so I wouldn't have to put too much weight on my legs or feet since it hurt so much, I... couldn't see anything or anyone... there was this thick fog everywhere, and it was impossible to make anything out...
#Alistair's Dream Journal#alistair posting#i think she... woke me up before I was supposed to?#ugh... what am i even saying... that doesn't make any sense...#horror cw#body horror cw#long post#ask to tag#Alistair
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Despair - Mondstadt
Pt. 2
So I made the mistake of reading a bunch of villain darling AU content and somehow managed to make myself cry with my own ideas so that's something,,,,Ig this isn't really "villain" darling since they never really end up being a villain, it's more so just sad. (also its kinda lengthy so I'll probably split it up into 3 or 4 parts)
Description of reader (just including it as a warning): Hair long enough to cut - and make a significant difference - but the gender is still neutral!
Warnings!: angst; injuries and violence / ab*se; Genshin characters being assholes tbh.
The moment you found yourself in Teyvat, you were beyond ecstatic. You were just so excited to meet the characters you cared so much about; the characters you worked so hard on perfecting to be at their strongest. You were also very intrigued on learning more into the lore of this world, and there was no better way than to be here yourself.
You awoke somewhere in Mondstadt, and since you played so often, you remembered how to get to the city. The thing is, nothing turned out in your favour. Everyone either ignored you or harassed you, even those you thought were very kind people were now all turning on you without any reasonable explanation. They called you an "imposter," they called you a "disgrace." The harassment would never end, the abuse you suffered would never cease.
You thought getting to meet the archons would be fun, that is, until you met Venti. He was absolutely horrid towards you, laughing at you, mocking your appearance and attacking you. He told you that you were a grave sinner, and such a blasphemous transgression would not be taken lightly.
Even if you had thought things couldn't have gotten any worse, you were completely wrong. You were so very hungry, all you asked for was a single piece of food, but everyone refused to sell anything to you. Hell, it wasn't even like you had any mora in the first place to give.
It got so worse to the point where the knights were chasing you down, almost as if they were holding pitchforks and going to burn you on a stake. You fled from the city, tired, filthy, injured and hungry. You no longer remembered how far you ran, but you still could tell where you were. Afterall, you had spent so much time and energy into this game that you were so familiar with different areas and environments.
You hid under a tree somewhere in the Dadaupa Gorge, starving and wishing for just a tiny bit of food. You were exhausted, you didn't know how long it'd been since you last slept. You couldn't sleep even if you wanted to, the paranoia and anxiety haunted your every thought and it was even worse within your dreams.
You stared at your lap, your clothes soiled and dirtied from all of the torture the people of Mondstadt had done to you, and since you couldn't buy any new clothes, these were the only things you had, no matter how disfigured or smeared in dirt they were. You rubbed your hands together and winced, the cuts on your hands burned, and your whole body was aching.
In the corner of your eye you found what might have been your saviour. A light of hope within these dark times. Of course, there was no question that it couldn't be a person. No one would help you, and you would be afraid the moment anyone even came near you. No, your saviour was a mere Sunsettia tree, that bore several delicious fruits.
You plucked one off of the branches, trying to make as little noise as possible, and eventually sat down on the soft grass. It was quite peaceful at the moment, though you knew it would do little to soothe your scarred mind. Looking down to the plump fruit in your hands, you ran your fingers along the intricate details.
Despite how horrible you were being treated in this place, you couldn't help but admire how beautiful everything looked. Unlike you, who was covered in dirt and injuries from head to toe. You almost felt jealous of it, how utterly clean and ripe it looked making you feel bad for taking a bite. It made you feel as if someone like you shouldn't be ruining such a good fruit, even if it was your only hope to surviving.
You ate it rather fast, as you were starving and receiving the food was like having a cup of water after being parched for days on end. It was so much more tasty than you could've imagined while playing the game. It was truly a strange thing, how being in such a state of sadness could make you see how perfect everything was around you.
The world that you were supposed to enjoy, and bask in all of the good things, and maybe some of the bad things but nothing like this. You still remembered your initial dream to explore this place and become good friends with all of the characters you loved so much, that dream had quickly faded, and it hadn't even taken much time.
You grabbed more of the sunsettias, eating as many as it took to satisfy your hunger, while observing the way the leaves blowed in the gentle wind, same with the grass. How the clouds moved up above, and the birds flying high up in the sky. This scenery would have been so relaxing if it hadn't been the very wind to nearly kill you as you walked through Mondstadt. The anemo archon himself wished nothing more than for you to disappear, but how could this place still be so...calm?
You chuckled quietly to yourself, perhaps being miserable made you think more philosophical. Not even just that, but also made you think a lot more depressing thoughts than usual. You reached up towards your shortened hair, remembering the moment so vividly, it made you shiver in fear. The way the acting grand master who you had been so excited to meet had you by the hair, and sliced most of it off.
Everyone around had laughed at you, mocked you, and even proceeded to assault you even more. You decided that you didn't like Mondstadt as much as you thought anymore. Even now, as you wished to move, to do anything but stay in one place, because staying in one place meant you'd be easier to find.
Although you didn't have any intention on going to Liyue, you had one idea that you weren't even sure would work. It wasn't until you stumbled into a hilichurl camp on accident that you had found an answer.
Instead of attacking you like everything else in this world seemed to enjoy doing, they brought you gifts, fruits, vegetables, old clothes that must've been left by wandering adventures, one of the hilichurls even brought you a squirrel - still alive of course.
You found an old cloak, it looked like it would tear so easily, but it was your only option. You put it on, hiding as much of your features as you possibly could, and thanked the hilichurls for being so kind to you. They were the first creatures you'd met to actually help you, rather than despise your existence.
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Why I'm a Mel Stan
Thought I'd give a run-down on why I'm a Mel Stan lol (a term that is relatively new to me)!
I loved the The Last of Us, but the Part 2 resonated with me in a much deeper way. Originally, I was very much an Abby Stan. Like both Abby and Ellie, I lost someone very close to me in real life to murder and had to watch their killers escape justice, in my case because of intrenched homophobia and a morally corrupt criminal justice system.
In 2017 my little brother was pummeled into the ground by three men outside a nightclub. They kicked him, punched him, and turned bottles on him. His sin was kissing another man in front of a group of bigoted thugs. He died in hospital a few hours later and my mother died of a stress related stroke two weeks later. I was overseas at the time on a deployment and no one knew how to contact me, so I didn't find out til after they were buried.
This was a very cathartic game for me.
I very much empathise with both characters, but the more I played it and the more I came to terms with my own life and loss, the faster my love of them waned. Vengeance isn't justice (even in the apocalypse) and both characters went through a comprehensive arc and I think they both realised this by the end of the game. Of the two player characters, I'll probably always empathise with Abby more as she repeatedly tried to make good and atone in a much more concerted way than Ellie.
Part 2 is full of rich and beautiful characters. In particular Dina is fantastic, Lev and Yara are exceptionally brave, and Owen is a kind and gentle soul (if a bit thoughtless). I always felt for Mel, even in my very first play-through. She spent the whole game putting aside what she needed/wanted to help/please other people and getting treated kind of poorly for it and then dies pregnant and terrified (which as a dad, repeatedly hit me right in the gut)
Then I read a lot of pretty un-nuanced discourse. Mel bad because she called Abby a POS. Yes, she could have directed more anger at Owen (and she eventually did), but it's also worth bearing in mind that Mel does not have the knowledge about Abby's motives and her development as a character that we the player do, and Abby was meant to be her friend.
Mel probably wanted Joel brought to 'justice' for her own reasons. She was Jerry's student and probably pretty close to the man. She was also close with Abby and probably wanted it for her as well. You can see how uncomfortable she is with what actually happens to Joel in her body language, facial expressions and her hesitation to apply the tourniquet (more on this in the link below). She says in the game that Jackson shook her. Violence of that level has a tendency to do that to all involved (Abby is clearly no exception).
On their way to the FOB, Mel extends an olive branch to her friend, who she's avoiding and tries to reconnect. She knows Abby is suffering as well, offers her sleeping pills and tries to share that trauma with Abby. Abby takes that attempt as an attack and responds pretty snidely (have a look back at that scene, they both have amazing actresses behind them and the way Mel kind of crumples emotionally is pretty sad).
Below is a bit of an analysis of this conversation from reddit user BrennanSpeaks
Then Owen and Abby both go AWOL on the same day, Mel loyal to her friends, doesn't give them up, despite Isaac being pretty hard on her according to Nora and goes after Owen, through a dangerous city with only Alice for company. Then she finds Abby there as well, with a couple of seraphite kids (remember the day prior, Abby saying she was A-ok with murdering Seraphite kids), in a place she thought was Owen and hers. With the incomplete information she had, her mind goes in a certain direction - Abby is only helping these kids, to appeal to Owen's gentle side and get back with him. It's a bit of a stretch from the player's perspective, but Mel has every reason to think the worst of Abby.
It's also worth bearing in mind what Nora tells Abby at the hospital. When Abby left the FOB, Isaac interrogated them about where Abby and Owen went, and says that Isaac was particularly rough with Mel and we know that Isaac is a bit of a psycho. Mel didn't give them up. Now she’s left the FOB, and like Abby and Owen, is now a deserter, and the WLF do not take kindly to deserters as we learn. So she’s in an incredibly vulnerable position, she’s not a fighter like Abby, she’s a tiny little heavily pregnant doctor, and she’s kind of at Abby and Owens mercy. Not a comfortable position for her to be in. To top all that of, Owen has been ghosting her for weeks, on Seattle day 1 she mentions he hasn’t even seen their new quarters in the family section and seems genuinely stressed out about this when she asks Abby if she’s talked to him.
But she puts that aside to help Yara (a Scar, who she is meant to hate, but doesn't, as like good boy Owen, she seems a lot less tribal). But all that hurt she's bottling up finally boils over and she directs it at Abby first, a big personality who until now she's seemed reluctant to confront. To her credit, Abby actually takes it on the chin, maybe realising that she had kind of been a shitty friend, despite the fact that she doesn't really deserve to be the entire focus of Mel's ire (she still very much cares for Mel I think and tells Owen to get his priorities straight).
And the whole you've always been a piece of shit thing I'm going to put down to the heat of the moment.
To be clear. Mel has misread the situation, Abby is becoming a better person than Mel knows.
I don't think any of that warrants the dislike she seems to get.
Then there's the No Loose Ends thing. Not her finest hour, but she has just witnessed what awful things people will do in the name of vengeance and does not want that for her, her loved ones and her unborn child.
Again, don't think this means she deserves to be a D or E on all those character tier list things people make.
Then there's the She Was Going To Give Abby Up thing and yeah, she was terrified, didn't want to die and wanted to save herself, the man she loved and their unborn child from the person who was pointing a gun at them. Owen should have let her, it probably wouldn't have helped Ellie find Abby at all.
So basically the more I played the game, the more I thought she was one of the best human beings in it. She wanted to keep her loved ones safe and she wanted to be a mother, but was fearful for what that would look like in the world she lived in.
I also see reflected in her character a lot of someone who is very near and dear to me: She's got a low bullshit tolerance, but is very bad at confrontation so bottles it up. She seems to be one of the most empathetic and kindhearted characters in the game. From her bodily language and mannerisms I always got the impression that she has crippling anxiety and as mentioned before, she always seemed to put other people first. She loves dogs, and kids, and making use of her surgical skills to help people. She's just a wholesome little bean.
I also tend to favour the underdog, so given there are so few Mel Stans in the fandom I thought I might as well be.
Naughty Dog are geniuses.
Apologies if that was an incoherent mess. As always I blame the fact that English isn't my mother tongue.
P.S.
I see a lot of people hating on her for getting in that truck with Manny and Abby. Here's what I say to that. Pay attention to the context and what everyone says. They're not going out to fight Scars, they're travelling along what is deemed a very safe route, to a heavily fortified Forward Operation Base (FOB) where Mel will be working as a surgeon. That FOB has huge walls and hundreds of soldiers. It's a safe place. There are also wounded WLF soldiers pouring in, so it's understandable that Mel, a talented surgeon, is going there. She's literally commuting to work. When they get ambushed, she fights, because she has to.
People have weird hang-ups when it comes to pregnant women. They're allowed to live their lives, do their jobs, contribute, etc. You can't lock someone up and wrap them in cotton wool for nine months, especially when it's the apocalypse and they're a talented surgeon.
P.S.S,
Please enjoy this REALLY good and probably more articulate essay from Brennanspeak:
Long story short, Mel is a very underrated character. We're primed to dislike her in-game because she's practically always an antagonist to our player-character - whether we're playing as Ellie or Abby, Mel's motivations will clash with "ours" in some way, shape, or form. But, her actions were absolutely understandable.
First off, she was Jerry Anderson's student. It's clear that his mentorship meant a lot to her. In some ways, she might have known him better than Abby did, because she related to him as one adult to another. He was her Obi-Wan, and then he was murdered, and she had all the reason in the world to be angry.
She and Abby were very close, once upon a time. She writes a letter to Abby (found in Abby's backpack in "The Park") where she thanks Abby for her help in arranging her mentorship with Jerry. She even suggests they go get drunk together to celebrate. She had reason to want to support Abby's revenge quest.
When it actually happens, it doesn't go like she expected. She doesn't get any catharsis from it. Abby coerces her into participating in torture, which she's never done before and never intended to do. She's so shaken that she can't watch for most of it - she and Owen leave the room. As Manny later points out, she's never hurt anyone like that before, and Abby almost forces her into it.
Because Mel understands just how fucked up their torture of Joel is, she's able to see Ellie with clearer eyes. She realizes that the wolves absolutely are not the heroes, here, and that Ellie, or anyone from Jackson, would have ample reason to want to track them down and make them pay. Abby (and Owen) don't really understand the threat that Ellie poses to them because it never occurs to them that someone would love Joel enough to avenge him. No one mourns the wicked, right? But, Mel couldn't help but see him as human, so she recognizes Ellie (and Tommy) as people who loved him. And, then, the ruthless, survival oriented part of her brain kicks in and she recognizes these "loose ends" for the threat that they are.
When we see her through Abby's eyes, much later, we see the toll that Jackson took on her. Mel's anger towards Abby is simmering but constantly stifled. She doesn't feel confident enough to confront a strong personality like Abby's and tell her that she was wrong. So, she tries to find subtle, non-confrontational ways of expressing how she feels. "I guess Jackson shook me, too." Abby is dealing with her own repressed guilt and doesn't appreciate this mirror being held up to her actions, so she lashes out, and the distance between them grows. Mel is feeling this intense conflict between her ideals as a medic and the actions that she's participated in - or been goaded into. She had lots of reasons to believe the worst of Abby.
Meanwhile, because Girlfriend just can't catch a break, she's in love with (and pregnant with) a guy who just can't love her back. We don't know why Mel and Owen got together, but it probably had something to do with Owen looking for something brighter and more innocent after seeing the growing darkness in Abby. But, he's still in love with Abby, and he can't let that go, even after more than a year with Mel. And now they're pregnant, and Mel is ready to just settle down, establish a family, and maybe move on from violence. But, Owen isn't on board. He ghosts her for weeks, so she can't even plan for what their life together will look like.
And now, suddenly, things are happening. Maybe Mel was "Melissa" and was considering leaving with Ji-Soo, maybe not, but once Owen is AWOL, her priorities shift. She sets off alone, accompanied only by her dog, and follows him deep into hostile territory, finds a way to get to him . . . and finds him post-coital and expecting Abby. Now, she's been betrayed by both the man she loves and the girl who used to be her friend. She had every reason to believe the worst of Abby and to look for a cynical motive in her every action. Abby had treated her like shit, so it was totally reasonable for her to see Abby as a piece of shit.
The real tragedy of Mel is her last moments. Owen uses their relationship to try to pressure her into risking her life on a suicide mission to the island. She puts her foot down and finally stands up for herself, at which point he promptly dumps her, telling her to "go back," as if she could just waltz back into the FOB after going AWOL for him. A moment later, Ellie confronts her - a living reminder of the worst thing she's ever done. She wants to bargain with her - to give up Abby, the toxic influence on her life, in exchange for just survival and escape for her and her baby, but she's thwarted by Owen. In the end, he'd rather put her and their child in mortal peril than risk any harm befalling Abby, no matter how unlikely it is that Ellie could have found her. Owen escalates things and gets himself shot and Mel, trying to defend or avenge him, dies too.
tl;dr: Mel gets screwed over more than any other character in the franchise. Meanwhile, she shows more moral fiber than most, but she's ultimately punished for doing what she needed to do from the start: standing up to the people in her life when they try to control her.
This concludes my TED talk; subscribe to my fanfic for more.
#The Last of Us#The Last of Us Part II#tlou2#tlou#mel#mel j#abby anderson#abby#the last of us 2#why I'm a Mel Stan#Kind of a rant#Love you naughty dog#Neil if you're reading this I want Mel to survive in the directors cut or I'll be steaming mad
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hello 💕 i've just gone through your entire fred weasley and i absolutely love your writing and especially your dialogues, they feel v authentic and real xx i read that you have requests open so i'll leave you with an idea from my v detailed v self indulgent daydream cinematic universe starring fred weasley— post war (say a couple of years after) fred is the owner and manager of the hogsmead branch of the joke shop and sneaks into hogwarts to meet his fiancé, newly hired transfiguration (1/2)
thank you so much for the kind words and reading all my writing, i can’t begin to describe how much that means to me! i love the idea of fred sneaking into the castle to see his significant other, it’s so cute, i had to run a lap around my room just thinking about it. also in this house fred weasley never d worded, if you think he did, no he didn’t. also also, it got kinda sad at the end and i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for that to happen i- but anyways, hope you like it and thank you again for the compliment <3
word count: 1.6k
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“Hey!”
Tink!
“Hey!”
Tink!
[y/n] looked up from the stack of papers arrayed on her desk and glanced around her study for the source of the noise, absolutely bewildered at who would possibly be bothering her at this hour. She prayed it wasn’t a student messing around with her, for she may have been a relatively new teacher but she wasn’t afraid to stand her ground against misbehaving kids.
The sound came again and this time she saw who it was her face lighting up before falling down as she scurried over to the window, unlatching the glass and pushing it open to find her fiancé sitting all high and mighty on his broom like this was a normal everyday occurrence.
“Fred Weasley! What in God’s name are you doing outside of my window? Why are you throwing stones at glass? Do you have any idea how high up I am?” She hissed, reaching for him, despite knowing full well he could only enter the room on his own accord.
He flew closer to the window and balanced himself on the ledge before grabbing her hand and hopping down onto the floor a giddy smile plastered on his lips, “I’m aware how high up this is, lest you forget I was one of the best Gryffindor beaters this school has ever seen.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You do realize you could just come in through the front doors right? McGonagall isn’t going to smite you down for visiting your fiancée,” she deadpanned, latching the window back shut.
“Whatever? If I recall correctly, me being on the quidditch team all those years back had you absolutely smitten, or am I wrong,” he retorted smugly, completely brushing past her statement about walking through the front doors.
[y/n]’s face fell into one of embarrassment as she pushed past him back to her desk, not wanting to fuel his ego any more than she usually did, “Even so, you still can’t be sneaking onto campus. Especially during school hours, you know how it is, I would rather you be turned away at the door than get escorted out by the collar of your robes.”
“But it’s always school hours! Honestly [y/l/n], your new position has really given you a stick up the arse,” He grumbled, leaning back against one of the desks across from hers.
“[y/l/n]?” She repeated, offense written all over her face. Despite not taking it to heart she decided to mess with him a bit for being so stubborn.
Fred’s face fell and he was quick to rush over and apologize, “You know that’s not what I meant! Technically you’re not a Weasley anyway until the paperwork is done legally, so I’m not wrong.”
“I’m telling Molly you said that and she’s going to ground you just like she did 6th year when you got caught nicking something from Filche’s office,” [y/n] pouted, sinking into her chair and crossing her arms.
“You’re terrible you know that,” Fred deadpanned grabbing her cheeks in his hands, “don’t you say a word to my mother or she’ll make me bake you a cake or something.”
“I would quite like that actually, maybe I will tell her,” she replied, biting back a smile.
“Oh, come on! You know George was the one who got all the baking skills! That’s why he’s in charge of all the candy at our shops!” Fred whined, squeezing her face together slightly to try and return the teasing.
“Even if it turned out burnt and gross, I’d still like it because you made it,” she stated plainly, leaning up to try and snatch a kiss.
“Rubbish,” He replied, indulging her and accepting the kiss, smiling down at her when she beamed up at him.
“Whatever you say Freddie, y’know-,”
“Mrs. Weasley? Are you here? I had a question for you.”
All the color drained out of Fred’s face as he recognized McGonagall’s voice from across the room, [y/n]’s features mirroring the same horror as she pushed him off her and shoved him under her desk so he was as out of sight as she could make him.
“Yes- yes! I’m here Minerva, how can I help you?” [y/n] stuttered out, sliding her chair in as far as she could without injuring her soon to be husband.
“Well, I wanted to ask how the preparations were coming along for the annual Christmas Ball? I know you’ve been kept busy with recent exams, but the plans are top priority if we want to keep the spectacular turn out of our ball the same,” McGonagall explained walking up to her desk.
“Oh! The plans are coming along just fine, I haven’t quite finished drafting them up yet, but as soon as I do I’ll have them brought to you right away for approval,” [y/n] assured her, trying her best not to let on how nervous she now was, trying not to get Fred caught.
“Spectacular! And I expect to see you down in the Hall later? Professors have to arrive early today for some announcement preparation,” McGonagall continued, thankfully still unaware of the hidden person in the room.
“Of course, thank you for letting me know ahead of time,” [y/n] nodded, pretending to assort some papers on her desk.
“Lovely,” McGonagall smiled, heading out of the room, but stopping before she exited the room, “Oh, and tell Mr. Weasley that I say hello, he’s been rather quiet about his surprise appearances to our school recently.”
“Will do!” [y/n] called after her, releasing a breath she didn’t even know she was holding in as soon as the door shut.
“Okay, how come you get to call her Minerva?” Fred complained, crawling out from under the desk, no visible panic at McGonagall’s leaving statement.
“All professors do. Besides, you’re a trouble-maker in her eyes, a darling, but a trouble-maker, she wouldn’t dream of giving you that kind of power,” [y/n] giggled, reaching up to rearrange his ruffled hair, as he’d decided to grow it out again once he’d graduated.
“Trouble-maker,” Fred muttered, rolling his eyes, “Well she’ll be seeing a lot more of me whether she likes it or not, so I’ll win that privilege, eventually.”
“Whatever you say darling,” she hummed, scooting back in to continue grading her papers.
“You’re ignoring me already?” he groaned, letting his chin rest on the top of her head, arms slinging over her shoulders.
“I’ve got work to do Fred, I’m a professor now. I’m surprised you even had time to visit me, you’re a business owner now after all, it always amazes me how you have the time for these spontaneous visits- not that I don’t appreciate them,” she assured him, setting down her pen and squeezing his hands.
“I own the business, so I get to make my hours, unlike you,” he replied, moving his head so he was peeking over her shoulder.
“Is that supposed to be bad?” she quipped, leaning her head against his shoulder so she could kind of see him.
“Bad for me! I miss you! You’re here far too much,” Fred mumbled, intertwining their fingers.
“Well winter vacation is coming up soon, so you’ll be seeing much more of me. Hopefully you don’t get too sick of me,” she giggled, pursing her lips when he passed her a suggestive grin, “Ah, don’t look at me like that, that is not what I meant.”
“But it is and you know it darling,” Fred hummed, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“Don’t get too cocky or I’ll come up with extra work to keep me here,” she warned, a teasing lilt to her threat.
“You wouldn’t. Besides even if you did, I’d kidnap you against your will. Also you wouldn’t hurt Molly like that, she always expects you for family festivities,” he replied simply, knowing she would never pass up an opportunity to spend time with him.
“You’ve got me there. You know me so well,” she sighed, reaching back so she could toy with the hair at the nap of his neck.
“I’d hope I know you well, you’re about to be my wife,” he chuckled, shutting his eyes at the sensation of her soft fingers against his skin.
“Touché, love, touché,” she hummed in agreement, her free hand twisting the engagement ring situated on his finger.
“Anyways, I should probably leave you to it, with your boring paperwork and grading and all,” he sighed, standing tall, her hands sliding away from him and into her lap.
“It’s not boring,” she frowned, crossing her arms across her chest defensively, trying not to cave but ultimately failing when he gave her a raised brow, “okay, maybe it’s a little boring.”
“I knew it. No worries darling, I know you love it here, I’m only teasing. See you soon though?” He mused, brushing a stray hair out of her face.
“See you soon,” she replied, grabbing his face and pulling him down for a sweet kiss, relishing in one another’s company for their limited time together.
“Farewell my love,” he announced, grabbing his broom and pushing himself onto the window sill, “see you around.”
“Fred wait!”
He laxed the position of his broom and turned around, an adoring smile stretching onto his lips as she pulled him for one last sweet kiss, placing a small object in his hand.
“What’s this?” he asked as she peppered a few last kisses around his face, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her.
“It’s the locket you gave me, I finally put a picture in it, thought it was time to return it to you,” she smiled, stroking his cheek lovingly.
“You’re astounding,” he muttered, tucking the charm in his pocket, “I love you.”
“I love you too, bye Freddie,” she waved as he kissed her softly once more and took off into the setting sun, “see you soon.”
#fred weasley#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley imagines#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x [y/n]#[y/n]#mar writes#hogwarts#harry potter#asks
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Upcoming long-ass post ahead. Warning you now. It goes deep and it is long. There is a lot of personal information, but I wanted to get it out there for pride month. There is a tl;dr at the end. If tumblr mobile allowed for a page break like the old days, I'd use it now
Tw: homophobia, religious bigotry, sexuality, biphobia
I remember the first time I heard about homosexuality. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, at daycare, in a tree house with 2 other kids my age. They had just learned a new word and were throwing it around every other sentence that day. Lesbian. "What, are you a lesbian?", "so and so is a lesbian hahaha" "only a lesbian would say something like that". I had no idea what this word meant, I was a sheltered 8 or 9 year old. These daycare friends explained what it meant. "It's when girls like other girls, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're both girls". For a half second, my world was rocked. I had no idea that was something someone could do. That was a option? 🎆. Before I could even think about it further, the next sentence came out of their mouth "that's so gross, right?". Well shit, they were explaining it to me, they must have been the expert. "Yeah, that's so gross". I couldn't possibly be a lesbian, I'm not gross, I'm Megan, I like bubble baths and art and fairytale stories of princes and princesses. I'm not gross, and therefore definitely not a lesbian.
When I got a bit older about ages 10-12, my parent's signed me up for a week of vacation Bible school out in Pine Idaho every summer. For most of those summers, I went with my mom's boss's granddaughter who was about my age. Her name was Alex. She was super cool and a nice friend. Very much a typical tom boy. Had a bionicle collection, wore a lot of sporty clothes, even got some of her clothes from the boy section. I was sooo jealous of how cool Alex was. But whenever I was shopping with my mom, and tried to pick out less feminine items, I'd get lectured "that's for boys Megan, you can't have that, it's weird that you like this, Megan". no matter how much I liked it, how much I thought about how Alex was allowed to branch out like that. Why couldn't I?
From then to grade 7, I was in my femme bubble. I wore a ton of pink, because I looked up to Elle Woods from legally blonde. I'd have an occasional crush on the class emo. Loving long hair and eyeliner on guys, but otherwise despising everyone else in middle school because i was getting bullied mercilessly. I reclused into books and movies, like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean
I was transfered to Idaho arts charter school. Where the girl to boy ratio was about 7 to 1. We had no sport program besides competitive dance. My family started going to a WELS lutheran church, and for a while, none of this conflicted. Little did I notice, that my church and my upbringing were compiling into some bad homophobia on my part. I was taught that gay people were against God and were going to hell. Gay people were "gross" after all. I was told by my own parents that if I *became* a lesbian, they'd drag me to the pastor's house and have an exorcism performed on me. The idea of even kissing a girl with romantic intent made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. That's just proof of how disgusting and wrong it is... right?
But being in a school dedicated to the performing arts eventually caught up with that. Sure there were gay kids at my school. Our main export was musical theater and dance. But I wasn't friends with any of them, so it was fine. Until someone from my friend group came out. For his privacy, I'll call him A, since I still know people that know him IRL. I had been friends with A for a while before he came out as gay. I wouldn't say we were close, but I'd say we were friends. When he did come out as gay, it was like a dumb homophobic light went out. A wasn't any different just because he was gay, he was still my friend, and nothing changed except my worldview.
Nothing.else.changed.
Whenever I brought A up when telling a story to my parents, they'd interrupt with "you mean the friend that's going to hell" as if that was his name and they were correcting me now that he was an out gay teen. I dug my heels in and became a gay ally for my friend, A. Delving into gay rights as a special interest.
By the time I was 16, I was approaching the next metaphorical hurdle. I noticed I didn't really have any crushes... on anyone. I had friends. I liked fictional characters from books and anime and the occasional celeb. I just thought I had high standards for boys I would date. But I couldn't like girls. What would that even look like? It was pre 2010. The only girls into girls I ever saw were on posters in boy's rooms, or straight girls kissing to get male attention. It took a lot of work to realize God didn't hate gay people and even more work to realize that that could apply to me too. I came out as bi to only my friends at age 17.
I graduated, went off to college. Got a dorm mate, who we will call M. M was also bi, and she had the experience to back it up, supposedly. More experience than me, who hadn't really dated anyone at all. M somehow forced me back in the closet. She insisted I wasn't bi because I had never dated or kissed or anything with a woman. I had just barely had my first kiss with anyone that summer. I was only "bicurious" because how could I possibly know until I finally had experience like she did. So I shrunk myself, and only saw boys, because they gave me attention. Girls only saw me as straight, because I wasn't bi, I was "bicurious".
It took a lot of work to bust out of the bi closet a second time.
I lived my life as a bi woman. Constantly changing my spot on the kinsey scale until these past 7 years or so. I made a realization.
I don't really like guys. I'd sleep with them. I appreciated the validation I felt when I did. But I didn't really like them.
So I juggled with the queer label. Because my sexuality was complicated. Sure, I'd sleep guys, didn't mean I was attracted to them, it's not like it meant anything.
Any time I tried on the lesbian label, I'd get yelled at by a lesbian for being biphobic. They'd say stuff like "lesbians don't like guys", "stop bring men into lesbianism" "lesbians don't want to sleep with guys". No amount of me explaining that I don't like men would convince them. So back to the queer label I went.
I got married to a woman in 2019. And was content with the queer label.
But this year, 2021-
I started reading The Lesbian Document™. Learning that my occasional crush on a male celeb didn't really count as attraction to men.(sorry Bo Burnham).
I made a bit of a realization. I knew I didn't really like men, I was just ok with the idea of sleeping with them. But the idea of being with men felt similar to binge drinking.
They were both
Easily accessible
Toxic
Dangerous/thrilling
Coping mechanisms for deeper issues
I realized I was using the idea of sex with men as self harm, and I should probably stop that.
To wrap up this whole long-ass biography- I'm coming out a third time.
My name is Megan.
I'm 28 years old.
My pronouns are she/they.
And I'm a lesbian.
tl;dr:
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The Weekend Warrior 5/7/21: WRATH OF MAN, HERE TODAY, THE UNTHINKABLE, MONSTER, THE WATER MAN and More
It’s a new month, and I guess going by previous years pre-COVID, this weekend would normally be the start of summer. This year, we’re instead getting a summer with a lot of movies that would normally be dumped into April or February or some other uneventful month. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t or won’t be any good movies, but really, there’s nothing that feels like a summer movie until A Quiet Place Part II and Disney’s Cruella open on Memorial Day weekend.
There’s been lots of great developments, though, including the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn reopening this Friday and then in a few short weeks, theaters may be allowed to be open with no capacity rules although social distancing and masks will probably still be in place. Believe me, it’s been a confusing week as the city that got used to being on the backburner when it comes to reopenings, especially with movie theaters, is now dealing with arguing politicians competing to see who could throw open the then most doors fastest. It’s actually pretty embarrassing.
That aside, this week’s The Weekend Warrior column is brought to you by the new album “Coral Island” from Liverpool band The Coral, which I’ve decided to listen to on loop until I finish this column, because it’s taking me so long to get through it. (Eventually, I switched to Teenage Fanclub’s “Endless Arcade,” since I hadn’t had a chance to listen to it yet…. And to an old standby, Royal Blood, with their own excellent new album, “Typhoons.” At least the record business seems to know it’s the summer!)
Before we get to this week’s new movies, a couple tidbits. First of all, I’m thrilled that my friends Larissa Lam and Baldwin Chiu’s documentary FAR EAST DEEP SOUTH can finally be seen by the entire world, or at least the United States. It debuted on PBS World Channel on Tuesday night as part of the “America ReFramed” series, but for the entire month of May until June 3, you can watch it On Demand HERE, and that is huge! (There will be other ways to see it that you can read about here.)
This is an amazing MUST-SEE doc that looks into the little-known Chinese communities that took root in Mississippi in the early 20th Century and how they became such a huge part of that area with their markets, also bonding with the African-American communities that were similarly dealing with racism from the typically white post-Civil War South. It’s not just a history lesson, and it’s an incredibly moving story about a family trying to find its roots in the most unexpected places. There was a good reason why the couple’s short “Finding Cleveland” won the Oxford Film Festival while I was on the jury that year, and Far East Deep South similarly won an award there last year after its World Premiere at Cinequest was almost scuppered by COVID. It’s amazing how much more relevant and important this film has become since I first saw it last year, since both Asians and African-Americans are dealing with serious racial issues, and this movie shows that more than anything, they should be working to boost each other rather than fighting. Do check it out On Demand this month if you get a chance!
Another musician making movies is Mr. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I mentioned his documentary WHAT DRIVES US last week, but I actually only got to watch it on Thursday, and like his previous film Studio City and HBO mini-series, Sonic Highways, it’s a fantastic look at the music biz, this time through a variety of artists who began their careers by piling into vans and driving around the country. That is, except Lars Ulrich from Metallica, who mentions that the band was never so small or indie that they didn’t have a bus. But Grohl has used his vast connections to bring in a lot of great musicians including The Edge from U2, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and more, making this a very entertaining movie both for fans of the various bands but also live music fans in general. I gotta admit that as much as I loved What Drives Us, it did bring me down a bit since it’s been almost 14 months since I’ve seen any live music, and I really miss it. This is now streaming on The Coda Collection, which you can subscribe to through Amazon Prime Video.
Guy Ritchie is back with his latest movie, WRATH OF MAN (Miramax/MGM), which reunites him with Jason Statham for the first time since 2007’s Revolver, I believe. Statham plays the enigmatic Paul “H” Hill who works at cash truck company Fortico, responsible for moving hundreds of million dollars around Los Angeles each week. Fortico has recently been hit by a lethal robbery, and H’s team soon learn that there’s a lot more to their new coworker, who happens to be looking for revenge against the man who murdered his son.
(Unfortunately, reviews for the movie are embargoed until Thursday at 6pm, so I can’t tell you whether it’s any good or not. Until Thursday night. Sorry!)
But I will talk about the movie’s box office prospects, because why not? Ritchie’s last movie, The Gentlemen, opened in January 2020, during the “before times,” with $10.6 million, but that was more of a classic Ritchie ensemble crime-comedy. Wrath of Man is more of the type of movie Statham has been making over the past few years, a cross between a revenge thriller and a heist flick. In fact, Statham has done a pretty good job creating his own brand through a variety of action-thrillers as well as a number of franchises including “The Transporter” movies, “The Expendables,” and eventually joining the “Fast and the Furious” franchise as Deckard Shaw with Furious 7 in 2017. Statham then went off to make Hobbs and Shaw with Dwayne Johnson, which didn’t do bad with $174 million. Before that, Statham starred in The Meg, a summer shark attack movie that grossed $145 million. Statham going back to help his old mate i.e. the director that gave Statham his start is pretty huge.
But as I said earlier, those were all in the “before times” and with the box office the way it is, it’s hard to imagine that the exciting reunion of Statham and Ritchie can open with more than $10 million but maybe closer to $8 million, because MGM/UA just doesn’t have the marketing clout of a Warner Bros. or Universal. Even so, that should be enough to be #1 this weekend as both Mortal Kombat and Demon Slayer continue to fall away. Unfortunately, if the movie *is* any good -- and I can’t tell you one way or another -- then by the time reviews hit, people will already have other plans for the weekend than to go see the movie. So yeah, that’s pretty dumb on the part of MGM, huh?
UPDATE: MGM is putting the movie into 2,876 theaters and maybe I'm being overly optimistic, because, as you'll read below, the movie IS pretty good and reviews have remained positive with the American reviews rolling in last night, still at 70% Fresh at this writing. Maybe that'll help the movie do a little better, maybe as much as $9 million, although I'll probably owe MGM an apology if it cracks $10 million, and I don't think it will.
Mini-Review: If you’ve seen the trailer for Wrath of Man, you might go into Guy Ritchie’s latest thinking you know what to expect, because it’s sure being sold as another typical Jason Statham revenge thriller. Don’t be fooled by the marketing, the movie really is Ritchie’s chance to make his own version of Heat, an L.A. heist movie that owes as much to Rashomon as another movie being released this week.
Wrath of Man begins with the heist of an armored truck that turns deadly with the wanton murder of a couple guards. From there, you might think we know where things are going when Statham’s “H” company whose truck was hit, and on his first day, he stops a similar heist by killing the truck’s attackers. H is immediately the hero of the company, although he still has quite a few suspicious coworkers and the feeling is quite mutual. Ritchie’s film then slips into the second episodic chapter which goes back five months to that initial heist where we learn that Statham’s son was killed by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I don’t want to go too much deeper into how the movie and story play out, because like The Gentlemen and some of Ritchie’s more intricate films, there’s a lot that purposefully isn’t made very apparent at the beginning. To many, this movie will be seen as even more macho than most of Ritchie's films, to the point where even the only woman guard, Dana, being just as macho as the men. As the movie begins, there’s a lot of joke-cracking and crotch-grabbing, all while Statham’s character silently observes and only acts when necessary.
The film’s shift to more of a classic Ritchie ensemble does slowly take place, but by the third chapter, it shifts to the group perpetrating the cash truck heists with an “inside person,” taking the movie to yet another place that makes it more obvious that this is Ritchie’s attempt at delving into the L.A. heist genre that other filmmakers have done so well.
Oddly, Statham doesn’t have too many lines, acting almost like a Terminator in his determination to right wrongs, but as always, Ritchie puts together a fantastic ensemble cast including a number of great American character actors who we rarely get to see in such great roles. I was particularly impressed with Jeffrey Donovan, who has appeared in a number of otherwise forgettable crime films this past year. The same can be said for Holt McCallany as H’s truck driver “Bullet,” but Ritchie also cast the likes of Josh Hartnett and Scott Eastwood in smaller yet still significant supporting roles, all of whom become more interesting as you start figuring out who all the players are.
Like I said, the movie is fairly macho and the few women play very small roles, but it’s how things are set-up in the first few acts to then change course and build to an absolutely amazing third act that will undoubtedly bear comparisons to Heat. And yet Wrath of Man (which is actually based on a little-seen French crime-thriller) does branch away from some of Ritchie’s standards, first of all by being far darker and even more violent with any of the wisecracking humor that pervades a lot of Ritchie’s work to counterbalance such violence disappearing once the flashbacks begin. It’s all punctuated by a fantastically tense score by Christopher Benstead, which seems a bit much at first but eventually settles into the perfect pace and tone for the action.
Despite disappearing for a good chunk of the movie, Statham is still great, basically killing everyone as his characters are wont to do, but watching how all of the different ideas come together leads to such a satisfying conclusion that one hopes those who might be put off, thinking they know where it's going due to the somewhat pathetic and obvious marketing will give it a chance to see how Ritchie has changed gears as effortlessly as he did with Aladdin a few years back.
Rating: 7.5/10
After even a longer time since he directed a movie, Billy Crystal once again takes the helm for HERE TODAY (Sony/Stage6), a movie in which he plays comedy writer Charlie Burns, whose chance encounter with Tiffany Haddish’s lounge singer, Emma Payge, leads to an unlikely friendship, as he struggles with early stage dementia.
I’ve known about this movie for over a year now, and I was pretty excited to finally get to see it, since I was such a fan of the other movies Crystal has directed, 1992’s Mr. Saturday Night and 1995’s Forget Paris, and it’s just amazing to me that he hasn’t directed a movie since.
At first, it seems like it’s the type of meet-cute we’ve seen so much in Crystal’s past filmography, but his pairing with Haddish isn’t something that might work on paper, but in fact, their comic styles mesh so perfectly together that it’s amazing that no one thought of putting them together before.
Crystal wrote the film with comic Alan Zweibel, who adapted it from his own short story “The Prize,” which refers to Haddish’s character winning Charlie in an auction for a lunch. Actually, her ex won the lunch, and she decided to use it because… free lunch! It’s a pretty simple set-up but one that allows the filmmakers to explore some of the odder things that happen in life.
Much of the movie’s humor plays upon the differences between the two characters, and how unexpected their friendship is. I can totally relate, because I have a lot of good long-time friends who most people might never expect us to be friends, but Crystal, Zweibel and Haddish pick up on that and create a movie that’s very funny but has enough other characters around the duo toa allow their characters to show how they’re just really nice people. We see that with how Charlie takes a young writer at his late night show under his wing or how Emma livens up the bat mitzvah of Charlie’s granddaughter. Oh yeah, and Haddish sings. She actually has a number of great performances in the movie, and seriously, anyone who watches this movie is gonna wanna see a smart filmmaker put Haddish in a musical immediately.
The film also acts as a truly touching tribute to Crystal’s friend, the late Robin WIlliams, who was diagnosed with the exact same type of dementia after his suicide death, and knowing that fact, makes the film even more poignant. More importantly, it doesn’t use Charlie’s condition for laughs, and for that alone, I feel like this is ten times better than that overrated Oscar winner The Father.
Here Today’s biggest problems come in the third act when it feels like the movie is starting to over-extend its welcome, even going into somewhat expected places, but it recovers from that rough third act to land a really nice ending. Crystal has always proven himself to be a really strong mainstream filmmaker (ala Rob Reiner and others) who makes crowd-pleasing movies, and it’s so nice seeing him going behind the camera for a movie that’s obviously very personal but also highly relatable.
As far as box office, I certainly have high hopes that Crystal still has an older audience of fans who might want to see him on the big screen again. I’m just not sure if this will be in more than 1,000 theaters, and though I’ve seen quite a bit of marketing, I just haven’t seen Crystal or Haddish do nearly as much in terms of getting out there that would be necessary to reach an audience that might want to venture out into movie theaters to see the movie vs. waiting until it’s on cable/streaming. There’s also Tiffany Haddish’ fanbase, and there could be some benefit for the movie coming out the same week as her new CBS show “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”
I’d love to be optimistic with this making $4 to 5 million but it’s probably more likely to be closer to $3 million especially with capacity limits still in place for most theaters and the audience generally being older.
UPDATE: Maybe I was a little too optimistic, because I enjoyed the movie so much and it will probably be closer to $1 or 1.5 million since other reviews aren't as great.
Next, we have two movies finally being released many years after their festival premieres…
The Swedish apocalyptic thriller THE UNTHINKABLE (Magnet), directed by Victor Danell, is finally being released after playing genre fests in 2018 and 2019. It stars Christoffer Nordenrot as Alex, a young piano virtuoso who ran away from home due to his abusive father Bjorn (Jesper Barkselius). Years later, he returns home for his mother’s funeral after she’s killed in a terrorist attack on Sweden. At the same, there’s a virus that’s erasing people’s memories, but Alex is still in love with Anna (Lisa Henni), the girl he had a crush on when he left, and the three of them will have to help each other face all the horrible things hitting their home at the same time.
As I was watching this movie, a lot of it felt eerily familiar to me, but I couldn’t figure out why. The more I watched it, the more I realized that I actually HAD seen the movie before. Sure enough, I saw this movie over two years ago at the “What the Fest?!” in New York two years ago, and I honestly don’t remember loving it. Still, I decided to give it a fresh look, hoping to get more out of it on second viewing.
Some of the same things bothered me on this second viewing, because it’s really hard to figure out exactly what is going on and whether the horrific events are natural, man-made or a combination of both. For some time, we get so mired into Alex’s lame relationship with Anna, and when he returns home, his conspiracy theory-driven father is busy protecting a bunker that’s being invaded by foreign military troops he thinks are Russians. We cut between these two disparate scenarios while sometimes returning to the capital of Sweden and throwing in a few big set pieces. It’s so disjointed that you feel like you’re watching a lot of random unrelated events, maybe a bit like last week’s About Endlessness -- maybe it’s a Swedish thing?
There are aspects of The Unthinkable that are quite commendable, particularly those action moments and how the mystery about what is happening develops as the film goes along. Eventually, the film does find a more consistent pace, and things start becoming a little clearer, which makes the final act better than much of what we’ve watched earlier. Even so, it’s still quite annoying how long it takes to figure out what’s going on, even on a second viewing, and for most people, that may already be far too frustrating to get through it.
Hitting Netflix on Friday over THREE years after it premiered at Sundance is music video director Anthony Mandler’s directorial debut, MONSTER (Netflix), based on the novel by Walter Dean Myers. It stars Kelvin Harrison Jr. (Waves) as Steve Harmon, a 17-year-old film student put in jail, accused of murder in a bodega robbery. His defense lawyer (Jennifer Ehle) is trying to help him be released, but he’s fighting against the odds of a judicial system that sees him as a “monster” because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I have to be honest that I did go to see this at Sundance the week it premiered, and for whatever reason, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I only really caught about twenty minutes of it. Watching it now with more time and a little less weary than I usually am towards the end of Sundance, I was able to appreciate Monster more for what it is. On the surface, it’s just about Steve’s case and how what really happened unfolds before our eyes and we learn more about those around Steve and how their influence may have pulled a smart and studious young man into the criminal world that now has him in prison with much more violent life-long criminals.
We already knew that Harrison was a great actor, but Monster shows us that he was already on his way to greatness with this movie that for whatever reason got buried even as it dealt with issues that have been in the headlines almost every day since this debuted.
Mandler takes an interesting approach, both non-linear and also with blatant nods to Kurosawa’s Rashomon, which is even cited by Steve’s teacher, played by Tim Blake Nelson. Jeffrey Wright and Jennifer Hudson are decent as Steve’s parents, but they’re generally smaller and non-showy roles compared to the moments between Harrison and Ehle. Much of the film takes place in the courtroom with flashbacks showing what happened through the viewpoint of whomever is on the stand, which eventually includes Steve himself.
The way Mandler handles the material may lean more on the artiness rather than something more mainstream -- Michael B. Jordan’s Just Mercy comes to mind -- but it’s just as powerful in showing how someone like Steve can be othered by society into being a criminal. Sure, there have been other handlings of this sort of material that I thought were better films, but if you know anyone who has ever had dealings with the “justice” system and know how unfair and horrible it can be even to the innocent, then Monster will certainly strike a chord.
Also hitting Netflix this week is the new series based on Mark Millar and Frank Quitely‘s comic books, JUPITER’S LEGACY (Netflix), another kind of twist on the superhero genre ala Amazon Prime Video’s series based on Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson’s The Boys. I love the comics, and I can’t wait to finally get around to seeing Netflix’s first adaptation of a Millarworld property.
David Oyelowo makes his directorial debut with THE WATER MAN (RLJEfilms), a movie about a young boy named Gunner Boon (Lonnie Chavis), whose mother (Rosario Dawson) is battling leukemia. In an effort to cure her, Guner goes off on a journey along with a teenage girl named Jo (Amiah Miller) to find the mythical Water Man, who can provide them with a magic token that might save Gunner’s mother’s life.
I’ve interviewed Oyelowo a few times before, and I really like him a lot, so I had really high hopes for him as a director since I feel he’s just a terrific actor. Unfortunately, the material here is just not strong enough that I think even a far more experienced filmmaker could make something out of it.
Set in PIne Hills, we meet Gunner, a bright kid who loves drawing comic books, but he has trouble connecting with his father (Oyelowo), so when he has an idea that might help his sick mother, he goes off with a head-strong teen named Jo, in search of the Water Man, a summertime adventure permeated by a lot of very bad low-budget visual effects.
Honestly, I’m not even sure where to begin with where The Water Man falters, because Oyelowo has such a great cast, including Alfred Molina and Maria Bello in tiny parts. The story is a problem, as is the writing, which is just so bland and dull, that there’s really nothing in Oyelowo’s direction or any of the performances that really can salvage it. Neither of the child actors have much charisma or personality, and even Dawson’s performance, which would normally be a showstopper is repeatedly lessened by the constant cutting back to the kids. (And as someone who beat leukemia myself, I’m never a fan when cancer is depicted in movies as a death sentence rather than just another hurdle in life that needs to be overcome.)
Oyelowo himself may be one of his generation’s best actors, but he brings so little to the role of Gunner’s father, maybe to not take away from his younger star, but it hurts that he doesn’t do more to create a stronger conflict by making the character more horrible to drive Gunner away. The actual Water Man doesn’t improve things when he finally shows up, essentially talking like a pirate but not even remotely paying off.
Honestly, The Water Man seems like such a misguided venture -- Exec. Produced by Oprah, no less -- and it might have been totally forgettable if the characters didn’t keep saying the title of the movie every five minutes.
Hitting theaters Friday after a festival run is Tran Quoc Bao’s action-comedy THE PAPER TIGERS (WELL GO USA), starring ALain Uy, Ron Yuan and Mikel Shannon Jenkins as martial artists once known as “the three tigers but now middle-aged men must set aside old grudges and dad duties to avenge the murder of their teacher. I’ve had a screener of this since last summer when it played at Fantasia Festival in Montreal, and I just never got around to watching it, but if I’m able to squeeze it in before the weekend, check back here for my review.
Streaming on Shudder this Friday is Ryan Kruger's South African comedy-thriller FRIED BARRY (Shudder), starring Gary Green as Barry, a violent street junkie who is abducted by aliens who take over his body in order to… well, actually… they do a lot of drugs, have a lot of sex and other craziness. It’s a pretty strange and bizarre movie that reminds me a little of movies like a lower-fi Under the Skin or Beyond the Black Rainbow, and much of it is driven by the insane and unique performance by Green and the odd characters he encounters that I think will find its fans for sure, but it will definitely be for a very select audience of genre festival fans, as this is by no means a mainstream genre film.
Speaking of which, another movie out this week which I wasn’t allowed to see in advance is Gia Coppola’s MAINSTREAM (IFC Films), starring Maya Hawke as a young woman seeking internet stardom by making YouTube videos with a charismatic stranger, played by Andrew Garfield, until “the dark side of viral celebrity threatens to ruin them both.” Yup, it’s one of THOSE movies. It also stars Nat Wolff, Jason Schwartzman and Johnny Knoxville, but I haven’t heard anything good about it, and I’m not sure my curiosity is piqued enough to spend any of my own personal money to check it out.
Hitting Amazon on Friday is the doc THE BOY FROM MEDELLIN (Amazon) from Matthew Heineman (City of Ghosts, Cartel Land), a portrait of musical superstar J. Balvin, as he prepares for a massive sold-out stadium show in his hometown of Medellin, Colombia, which is hindered by the growing civil unrest in the area.
Lots of other movies this week, but a few that i just wasn’t able to get to this week, including:
ABOVE SUSPICION (Lionsgate)
INITIATION (Saban Films)
ENFANT TERRIBLE (Dark Star Pictures)
QUEEN MARIE (Samuel Goldwyn Films)
SILO (Oscilloscope)
CITIZEN PENN (Discovery+)
That’s it for this week. Next week, Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson star in SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (Lionsgate) and Angelina Jolie returns for the thriller THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD (New Line) and Timur Bekmambetov’s thriller, PROFILE (Focus Features). That’s right. This will be the first weekend in over a year where we’ll have three or maybe even four new wide releases.
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Entry 345
Water was running. This sound was water. I had never imagined water to have a sound, especially not one like what Mila played, but Jarod had assured me this really was water. Without reading his lips, I wouldn’t have recognized the words immediately, but I would eventually… soon. I couldn’t let Maxine feel she had beaten me.
A new voice entered my ears, startling my eyes open. “James, is that you?” I questioned, seeing words above displayed by Mila after I caught sight of him walking toward us.
James’ voice had a soothing quality to it, much better than running water. He had asked “How are things going?”
“We’re acclimating her to hearing. She’s getting all these sounds for the first time.” explained Maxine, watching James as easily as me. She had developed the technology to see years ago, leaving me no time to catch up with the new tech.
“Well, not the first, really. Portentia could hear through the fey's visions, but she never had time to figure them all out. She's still lip reading at this point to understand what we're saying.” corrected Jarod, though his eyes were still on me as I read what he had said. He didn’t want me worrying about what people said around me yet, insisting I start with other sounds when we had started this.
James’ lips turned down slightly as he said, “Ah. Sorry. Perhaps the concert was a bit too optimistic.” Having him frown even a little spurred my determination even further.
“No. I can do this.” I assured him, knowing he wouldn’t mind me taking time while wishing I had already mastered this task.
“Just don't overdo it. There's no real rush.” he insisted as he studied my face. “I merely thought this could be nice for you and wanted to give you the option.”
Shaking my head slightly, I explained “James, I'm doing this. Maxine can do it, so I can as well.” There was no way I was ever going to let Maxine outdo me. Villains must lose.
“I'd love to see you design your own equipment.” stated Maxine, the sounds barely reaching my ears as I read what she had said. Whispering. The first whisper of my life came from my prisoner.
“Let's see you beat me in a fight.” I taunted, knowing she didn’t have a chance.
Her head snapped up to look at me in a satisfying way before she asked “Did you understand what I said!?” The sound of her voice had changed as she spoke, growing louder and… sharper.
For a moment, I was tempted to lie, just to remind her I had skills too, but lying to a captured enemy was beneath me. “Look behind James. Mila’s still helping me.” I told her, happy that she still didn’t see everything.
“I didn't think we'd be able to fine-tune the input to her brain as quickly as we did, but Alma came down and helped us.” commented Jarod, his voice smooth and steady. “Portentia was able to compare what she was hearing to what Alma projected into her head, and we adjusted accordingly. She's really calmer now, isn't she?”
“Oddly calm. She didn't threaten me once.” agreed Maxine, her voice steady once more. As much as I didn’t like hearing her, the difference of sound between her and the guys was notable.
“She knows you're working with us now.” I stated, trying to pretend I didn’t mind Maxine being here.
“Hooray for letting tyranny reign while you stop petty theft and gang wars.” she told me in a way where the sounds seemed steady, with less variation than normal.
“You'll eventually see that we're doing far more than you currently think. I promise you.” replied James before I even opened my mouth.
The sound of water stopped, just as I had gotten used to it, and was replaced by something somewhat similar in a way. “What's that?” I asked.
“I’ll show you.” replied Mila, changing the mirror I watched into an image of a tree with wind blowing through its branches.
After briefly viewing what I was, James turned to me, signing as he said, “Good luck. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.”
I smiled and nodded, feeling somewhat envious of his abilities again as he easily jumped from the floor clear up to the lift in one enormous leap. With strength like his, I could do even more good in the city.
,,,^._.^,,,
After jogging into the garage, I stared down the lift to see my daddy reaching the bottom. Before I could react, he was at the top. “Daddy!” I exclaimed as I stepped away from the open lift. “Mila told me you were down there. Are you busy?”
Shaking his head and smiling at me, he said, “Never too busy for you. What's on your mind?”
“Mila's taking me to the Intergalactic House of Awesome Sauce soon, and I wanted to know if you would ride along.” I explained, watching him hopefully.
“Sure. Let's go.” he told me, his smile broadening.
“Mom’s busy. She's on a con-... um… group call, so I just told her I was heading out. I didn't know she worked.” I explained as I followed him out of the garage.
He laughed and said, “Before our honeymoon, all she did was work. She's missed it, though her perspective on it has changed a bit. She'll gladly come along too if you ask.”
“Nah. That's okay.” I assured him, not wanting to tear Mom away from something she enjoyed. Realizing the limo wasn’t waiting for us, I stared at the silver vehicle before us before asking “What's this?”
“A remake of my first car. You'll find a few more features than in the limousine, though there aren't refreshments.” he told me as he stepped through the open door.
I nodded, walked around, and hopped inside, taking a better look at the interior. “Sure is tiny in here.”
“You've seen smaller vehicles.” he reminded me.
“Yeah, but they flew.” I told him, wondering again how the people of this planet got anything done.
He focused on me for a moment, casting a complicated spell that made my features look human. Then he said, “I know, but you can visit your friends as often as you like. Life isn't so bad here, is it?”
Fighting a sudden impulse to blurt out everything on my mind, I took the time to sort my thoughts and think over his question. Outside of home, the technology was practically stoneaged, but inside of the house was perfectly livable. Mila made all of the difference, far surpassing even what I had seen on the most advanced planets I had visited with my parents. Doing my best to put my thoughts into English, I said, “I like it here. Everyone’s friendly, and my band is going to be amazing! I'm not… umm…” Frustratingly, I couldn’t think of the right words. They were there, just waiting for me to remember, but...
“Cheat.” ordered Daddy, smiling at me. “Mom's not around to know.”
I was certain that she’d know, but she wouldn’t say anything. Grinning in relief, I said, “Accustomed to this world! The technology is quaint! I'm amazed Marco makes such incredible food using that weird kitchen. How does he know when to remove the implements from the heat? What are those things he sprinkles? How does Emma change the size of the uncooked stuff with a touch!?” Everything came out in a rush, but I knew I was slow compared with him.
“Emma can control vegetation, even if it's been dead for years. She was born with the ability, so I can't teach you to do it as she does. As for the cooking, Marco was a traveler of this world for years and learned various ways to cook wherever he went. You should try it. Cooking here isn't as expedient as some other planets, but many find the process enjoyable.” he suggested encouragingly.
Switching topics a little, I asked something that concerned me. “Do you think everyone likes me? I mean really likes me?” I stared into his eyes, hoping to catch him slip for once, but his steady gaze held no answers. “I know they feel happy when we're playing around, but… what if they're just happy about something else and I'm misinterpreting something?”
“Dani, you're adored.” he assured me, smiling softly.
“Not like you.” I argued, knowing I couldn’t really compete with Daddy for being loved. “Even people you've bullied like you.”
He frowned at me as he said, “I try not to bully anyone.”
“I know. You help people, but even my friends know your reputation. Businesses have collapsed when they've caused you to frown.” I reminded him as memories of the countless stories came to mind.
“I don't know that things have been that extreme recently.” he claimed. “I simply cannot make everyone happy.”
“What's ‘recent’ when you're a time traveler?” I argued, smirking at him.
He rolled his eyes. “Fair point, but you know what I mean. Are you happy?”
Smiling, I nodded and said, “Of course! I'm with you and Mom.”
He reached over and hugged me, since Mila was doing the actual driving. “I don't want you to feel you're missing out. We can always go traveling for a bit when you need to escape.” he insisted, his incredibly strong arms imprisoning me in their warmth.
“Daddy, I'm fine!” I assured him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea just because I enjoyed hugs. “Mila's perfectly capable of helping me study and reminding me of what's out there. Don't worry.” In fact, Mila was still teaching me about new worlds regularly.
His expression grew serious as he said, “And you better still be fine when you're done visiting your friends. If I find it that you've caused unnecessary trouble, I'll… umm…” He hesitated, as if trying to come up with an appropriate punishment.
“Be grateful I'm fine and hug me till you're certain!” I exclaimed, knowing he was teasing. If something serious were to happen, he’d be there to help no matter what was foolish enough to step in his path.
“Probably.” he agreed immediately, though I knew he agreed completely.
The drive took a crazy amount of time, since we were confined to “roads”. We did arrive eventually, after a great deal of chatting about places we had seen and where my friends might want to go with me this time.
“No. No, you don’t!” I exclaimed as Daddy’s door opened.
He looked at me, seeming confused.
“You know why! My friends get distracted for hours every time they see you, wanting to talk about nothing else!” I insisted emphatically, knowing I was understating things.
His hand was out, touching something I couldn’t see, probably the spell on me, but he nodded, giving my shoulder one last squeeze. Soon, I’d be out flying ships, watching shows, or shopping for countless clothes I’d never get to wear on Earth. Spending enough money that Daddy would care would require buying populated planets, so the doors to the universe were wide open.
#Best Friend For Hire Reprise#Best#Friend#For#Hire#Reprise#Jovial Times#Jovial#Times#Fantasy#Fiction#Story
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Hey there! I honestly love your writings, I'll literally stop doing whatever I was doing to read them. Your fluff is the best fluff ever! So I was wondering of you could do any Martin fics maybe? Lots of love - x
It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoy my writing! Thank you so much for reading. One Johnny Martin fic coming up :)
Nothing More to It
Your feet ached something fierce as you reluctantly trudged through the large, never-ending field with the rest of Easy Company. You couldn’t remember how long you had been walking for, and much to your dismay, you had no idea how much farther you had to go.
“I’m gonna scream,” you muttered lowly, more to yourself than anyone else.
“Don’t scream.” Bull tapped the butt of his rifle against your helmet. “Don’t need to alert the Germans when we’re so out in the open like this.”
You rolled your eyes and swatted at Bull with your free hand. “I wasn’t actually going to scream…but now that you mention the Germans, do you think if I were to yell they would come and shoot me? Because an eternal dirt nap doesn’t sound too bad right about now.”
“Why are you talking about eternal dirt naps?” Martin piped up from his position behind you and the large man from Arkansas.
“Because my feet hurt.” you shrugged.
“All of our feet hurt. Stop joking about getting shot.”
You turned to Bull and shared a wide-eyed, amused look with him. “Sorry Mama Martin.” you chuckled, causing Bull to let out a snort.
“Mama Martin is about to whoop your ass if you don’t shut the hell up and pick up the pace.”
“Yes Mama Martin.” you and Bull sing-songed at the same time, giggling silently among yourselves as you lengthened your strides.
Time passed by at an excruciatingly slow and tedious rate, the only thing keeping you distracted from your boredom being the occasional banter between Luz and Perconte. You tried to keep quiet for as long as possible, knowing full-well that Martin was still watching you from behind, but after a while of zero talking among the company, you just couldn’t take the deafening silence any longer.
“You know what I could really go for right now?” you posed the rhetorical question to anyone within earshot. “Chocolate. I haven’t had chocolate in…well, I don’t even remember how long. I know we were supposed to have some in our bags, but someone snatched mine before we jumped.”
George let out a small whine. “Oh, don’t talk about chocolate. I’m already starving as it is.”
“Skinny gave me some of his Hershey bar last week.” Frank thought back to the last time he had gotten to taste the delectable combination of cocoa and various other sweet ingredients.
“Guys, I’m serious.” George’s stomach let out a gurgle. “You’re making it worse. Stop talking about food.”
You felt bad for George, and although you did plan on switching the conversation topic, another side thought branched off of your previous one and before you knew it you and Frank were talking about how you would kill for a big bowl of true Italian spaghetti.
Every minute or so George’s stomach would rumble in protest, but he pretty much stayed silent otherwise, his pace steady in between you and Frank.
You were thankful for George’s patience with the two of you because the conversation made the remaining leg of the hike fly by much faster than it would have regularly. When you arrived at the dense, small grouping of trees where you would dig in for the night, you sighed in relief.
Picking an ideal spot a few meters away from the front of the line, you dropped your gear down onto the dirt, relishing in the absence of the weight weighing down on your shoulders and spine, and began digging out your foxhole.
The hard work made your muscles sting and your body sweat, and by the time you had finished, you really did just want to sit down with a bowl of spaghetti and chow down.
As the men eventually began sliding into their holes for the night, the sun had almost completely dipped behind the horizon. The once cool, refreshing breeze had turned bone-chilling and unwelcomed in a matter of minutes and you could feel the cold seeping into your bones as you settled in for the evening.
Wrapping your arms tight around your body, you closed your eyes and attempted to locate some sleep. However, Mother Nature had different plans. First, it was just a single drop on the bridge of your nose, then one on your cheek, but before you could even really register that it was raining, it was pouring down hard.
The canopy of trees provided some protection from the weather, but after a while, everyone was soaked completely through and it didn’t matter one way or the other if the foliage had been there or not.
Hearing footfalls behind you, you craned your neck up just as a body jumped down and sat down next to you. “How you holding up?” Martin yanked his helmet off of his head and tossed it to the side before propping his rifle up beside himself.
“My feet still hurt.” you brushed the accumulated water droplets from your eyelashes. “And I still want spaghetti.”
“Well, I can’t do anything about those things…” he trailed off as he started rummaging around in his pockets. “But, I do have this.”
Fishing something out of his jacket, Martin held out a single chocolate bar toward you. Your mouth nearly started watering at the sight. “Where did you find this?” you snatched the treat from his hands as if he would retract the offer if you were too slow.
“I have my ways.” he shifted slightly and leaned back against the dirt wall. “That, and Penkala keeps a stash at the bottom of his musette bag.”
You narrowed your eyes at the thought of that grubby-handed little mortarman being the culprit behind your own missing chocolate. “Penkala.” you huffed. “He would hoard candy like a goddamn squirrel.”
Martin let out a small chuckle at that, his eyes closing as he folded his arms across his chest. You watched as he let his guard down ever-so-slightly and attempted to locate even the smallest bit of sleep.
The rain was still coming down in sheets, slowly filling your foxhole and creating small puddles where the dirt sunk in more. It was looking like it was going to be one miserable night, but on the bright side, you had chocolate.
Your hands trembling from the cold, you slowly tore open the wrapping and broke the bar in half. “Martin.” you nudged him with your elbow.
Cracking open one eye, Martin looked to you. “Hmm?” he grumbled.
“Here.” you passed him back half of the sweet candy. “Consider it a peace offering for always annoying you.”
Slowly, Martin reached out and took the offering. “Thank you.” he flashed a quick smile; a sight you rarely saw from him.
“Thank you for finding it,” you told him as you took the first bite of your half, the familiar and greatly-missed taste making you forget about the cold, dirt, and rain for a brief moment.
Breaking off a smaller piece, Martin popped the candy into his mouth. “I do like chocolate.” he sighed. “Haven’t had any in quite a while myself. Probably since before the war.”
“That’s no way to live life.” you quickly downed the rest of your portion before the rain got to it.
Martin didn’t respond to that, but you didn’t mind. Together, the two of you sat in content quiet and semi-enjoyed the sound of the rain splattering against the ground; a sound that would be much nicer if you were listening to it from the interior of a warm, dry house.
As the final glimpse of the sun disappeared, you felt the temperature drop even lower. You tried to keep from shaking, knowing that it would only use up energy that you couldn’t afford to lose, but you couldn’t help it.
“Not to complain again, Sergeant.” your teeth chattered as you looked over at Martin. “But I’m goddamn freezing.”
“Yeah, me too,” he admitted, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Martin looked back at you, the thought that crossed his mind doing loops as he mulled it over. “Come closer.” he finally suggested.
You weren’t sure how to respond at first. Was this a test? Was he going to reprimand you for being weak and cold as soon as you moved? Or was he serious?
Martin furrowed his brows at you when you made no attempt at moving. “Jesus, don’t be weird about it.” he held his arm out for you. “This is about sharing warmth. Nothing more.”
“Oh.” you nodded as you scooted closer. “Oh, okay.”
As you pressed your body into Martin’s side, he wrapped an arm around you, the gesture making you feel safe and secure. For a little bit, you just sat there, frozen and unsure of what to do. You focused on your breathing, paranoid that the rise and fall of your chest would disturb his rest.
Martin had tried to get some shut-eye, but your tense figure beside him was much too distracting. “I’m not going to eat you when you fall alseep.” he muttered. “Relax a little, will ya? Try to get some sleep.”
“Right.” you exhaled and let your body melt into his, the minuscule warmth he radiated drawing you in even more. As you laid your head on his shoulder, your cold nose gravitated to the nape of his neck and you gently pressed your freezing skin into his warmer skin.
Martin shuddered at the touch, but he didn’t make you move. Instead, he pulled you even closer and let out a soft sigh.
As you closed your eyes and tried to will yourself to sleep, a thought crossed your mind and you let out a small giggle. “You know, with the chocolate and cuddling…” you whispered into his flesh. “…this could count as our first date.”
“Shut up.”
“Shutting up.” you complied, keeping your mouth closed until you eventually managed to drift off into a light slumber.
You probably wouldn’t admit it to anyone who asked, and neither would Martin, but in each other’s arms, you both had the best sleep you had had in weeks.
#band of brothers#band of brothers fanfiction#band of brothers fanfic#johnny martin#johnny martin x reader#reader insert#hbowar#lostinthewiind
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Thank you for tagging me @cosmicmingi ! I'll tag @san--shine, @wonderlandsobsession and @fantastic-bby and whoever of my writing followers/mutuals wants to fill this out 👀👀 tag me if you do!
1)Okay so Against The Tide was such a hassle for me because I couldn't settle on one name and I resulted in a twt poll and asking my server of kpop friends for their opinions. Alternative titles were Quantum Immortality (from a theory and a Crywolf song), Through the Sea of Time (a pokemon mystery dungeon song, one of my faves), and Through the Eighth Sea (suggested to me by Alma. Bc the "Eighth Sea" is the sea of time. Get it? 8 ateez members, 1 sea to represent them all? Yeaaaaa-)
2) Okay so its so funny because it came before Wonderland even came out, but All Eyes On Me came as soon as I thought of the concept of an ot8 fic centered around Yeosang bc of him being shy and such. That's why there's a lot of cameras and depictions of Yeosang being especially excited at being watched, so I felt it fit perfectly
3) so I made that AtT playlist (didn't realize the mofo was 6 hours long, jfc that might be why nobody's commented on the songs yet), and I'll just say I listen to a lot of Babymetal and Crywolf when I write. Not just AtT, but in general. Babymetal obviously for the "fie's on her anime fight scene bullshit" and Crywolf for my emotionally challenging (aka fucking HEARTBREAKING) scenes or scenes in general that have a more muted, down to earth feel to them.
4) As far as Ateez goes, I always have an abundance of fun writing Seonghwa and Yunho, tbh. Night Shift has me spoiled and now I'm in love with writing Seonghwa as a sarcastic, slightly passive aggressive being who's honestly just a big softie for those he loves and Yunho...Yunho has a heart of gold and I adore him uwu
5) Jongho is probably the hardest to write for me because I don't want to typecast him as this nonchalant, emotionless smartass, yknow? I wanna give him depth other than "big strong maknae boi" but I feel I might have to do a bit better to write him truer to his actual personality
6) In All Eyes On Me, San and Yeosang's little cat and mouse game wasn't supposed to take over but I-and a lot of other people-enjoyed the dynamic of Yeosang building his confidence, all while San was getting exceedingly more hungry/sneaky. So definitely San so far.
Though Yunho is creeping up in AtT and yall will see more of that in the near future 👀
7) Reoccurring themes...at risk of sounding like a nut, the stories I put the most time and love into are ones like Against the Tide or for those who have read some of my BTS works, Still Standing. Fics that have intricate stories and characters feel real emotional, mental, and physical trials, but eventually they overcome. I do write these with supernatural, fantasy, and/or sci-fi twists bc i love those genres so much, but I just enjoy writing fics that make me and my readers go through the emotional motions.
8) I've honestly stayed away from hybrid fics for so long bc of how a lot of them sre linked to ABO fics that are written in very...high key problematic and exploitative manners, but thanks to Skunk San, I'm definitely gonna get back into writing hybrid fics. Or at least a oneshot. Idk man I'm giving him a tail. Bitches love tails. It's me, I'm bitches.
9) I want to get better at making people laugh with scenes without making it seem forced. I've gotten lucky enough to have some people tell me they've laughed from my works and some scenes, so I'm hoping to throw some more giggles in for everyone without forcing it and ruining a scene. Plus we need something to counter all this damn angst.
10) Imagery. Again, back on my anime bullshit, but I've had a lot of people, both close friends and readers, tell me through the years that they can visibly see some of the scenes so visually. From the fighting, to the love making, a lot of people have complimented me on my visuals and descriptive imagery so I'm kinda confident in it c:
11) I know its early, but I'd love to see Against the Tide illustrated. My dream has always been to have something I've written, whether a scene or just my characters, drawn out. Its a little easier since the boys (almost) all have their halloween stages for their demon forms and such. I wish I were a better artist tbh. I'd love to draw some scenes from future chapters I have in my head.
12) I'm gonna pull from my BTS side for this and say Still Standing. Its already based off of a show (sense8) and it would be so neat to see sense8 but with a superpower twist to it~
13) I'd probably cameo in any given fic as that one person in the bg that disses some antagonist to the main charas in passing just bc they're assholes and they aint shit.
14) Hmm...i had an old wrestling fic eons ago that was a hybrid fic. I'd love to revamp it and clean up the wild storyline and make it a kpop fic tbh. It had potential and it incorporated a lot of mythology and I used it as a way to show people about some mythos they may not have been familiar with but I got too ambitious and it went all over the place. I'd like to make it over now that I'm more focused and mature in following my plot.
15) I honestly don't have one off the top :o I never thought about remixing someone else's fic or anything like that.
16) I don't often write about things I'm not comfortable writing with, but I'll probably say my casually unnamed wrestling fic comes close since I was in a very bad headspace at the time and poured a lot of my trauma into the story. It's… graphic. And I probably won't feel comfortable writing that type of content so vividly anymore. So hooray growth?
17) I've never written an incubus fic to to completion, but @fantastic-bby makes me wanna try 👀
18) Honestly I adore the concept of sensates so much (from the show Sense8, and my BTS fic, Still Standing) and I'd love to revisit it but I'm not quite sure how to do it without making it too similar 😔
19) Both of them are BTS fics, but I've reread @haylokitteh We Need You and @readbeneaththelines Professor's Pet 🥵🥵
20) Hm..that's a hard one because I like to branch out to a lot of genres so it depends on what I'm trying to describe. But since I have to choose, I'll say Against the Tide, since I'm pouring a lot of love and care into this and I intend on showing you all full spectrum of what I can do with it.
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Devlog #40 - Writing Structure In Detail
We’re currently on a posting break because of our workload regarding THINGS. :I
But on a beautiful Friday night like tonight, I (Pectin) didn’t have anything better to do then be on tumblr - so here we are! We wrote something about a back log of posts. This is one of the boxed devlogs we wrote this summer. It’s about writing in Ren’Py. Enjoy! ヾ(○･ω･)ﾉ
Felix (eZombo):
[The] work I'm doing right now isn't really ready to be put into a devlog just yet, I decided to go into a bit more detail on the writing in //TODO: today in terms of its structure and branching.
But before we get to that, as you might have noticed we weren't able to keep up with the posting schedule of the remaining poll answers. Due to other responsibilities we have to take care of, we ran into a few delays so we'll only be able to post one answer per week. So even if it will take a bit longer now, you'll definitely see them all!
And now back to writing!
If you were already reading our devlogs back in 2017, this might sound familiar but there is a lot I couldn't write about yet back then. Now that the game is out and pretty much complete though, it's finally time for an addition to the second devlog we ever posted!
I already wrote about the overall structure almost two years ago, so I won't repeat all of that now. What's important to know though is that //TODO: today features very little branching on a broader scale. Most of the time there are several ways to get through certain in-game days but all the branches eventually rejoin.
With the exception of one day towards the end of the month, every playthrough will go through every in-game day in one way or another, but if there isn't much branching in the overall story path, then how does the story react to player choices?
Quite a while ago before we even started thinking about making //TODO: today, I read a blog post by Nicky Case in which they briefly talk about a concept they call "broadening". I think it's quite an interesting alternative to traditional branching as it tackles the problem of interactive stories growing exponentially due to player choices while still making the choices feel meaningful.
The gist of this idea is to keep a comparably concise path through the story but remember the choices that were made along the way (both important and unimportant). By doing that you can add callbacks to them when it's appropriate and as a result the story essentially feels "broader" than it actually is, even without entirely unique branches.
Of course there are some problems with this as well because you still need to find natural ways to include the callbacks in order to keep the illusion alive.
If your story doesn't have branching and you make it too obvious that you are just repeating something from a previous choice (maybe even verbatim), the player will probably become aware that they are experiencing a linear story that tries to trick them into thinking it's not.
And given the premise of //TODO: today where you experience the story of a struggling artist who basically has a month to get their life in order, that would not only fail the player but also the basic concept.
In the end //TODO: today uses a combination of "branching" and "broadening" and especially in the second half, this is used quite extensively.
Because there's no way around it to fully go into detail on this, the following part will be somewhat spoiler-heavy but if you've read this far, I'm assuming you've played the game already.
Essentially, there is one major event that influences pretty much the entirety of the second half: Joyce's departure. More important structurally though is whether or not Joyce returns.
All scenes at Teal's home after March 22nd have two versions depending on whether Joyce is there or not. Other scenes maybe change a few lines but can usually avoid having too drastic changes.
Some days like the Naughty Cat competition have whole variations where Teal either takes part or watches a live stream of it (although it reuses some text here and there, too).
The variation where Teal is at home and watches the live stream also has two versions, one with and one without Joyce but for the most part those aren't entirely separate scenes and instead use if-statements to selectively use or skip certain lines.
This gets especially complicated once the romance comes into play and we have a scene like the following one where effectively half of the dialogue is made up of these conditional-statements:
if joyceReturn: if joyceRejected: j "Good morning, [tName]." j "How are you feeling today?" else: j "Good morning, [tName]!" j "How are you feeling on this wonderful Monday?" t "Morning, Joyce." t "I'm fine." if romance == "Joyce" or romance == "Phoenix": t "Actually,{w=0.3} I feel pretty good." if joyceRejected: j "That's good to hear." else: j "That's great to hear!" if romance == "Joyce": j "It's the same for me." j "Today is another day at the bookstore, right?" if romance == "Phoenix": t "Yeah.{w=0.3} And it's one of the last days Phoenix will be there." else: t "Yeah.{w=0.3} There's only two left this month." j "Oh, right. The month is almost over now." if tMoney < 700: t "I hope I'll make enough money..." else: t "At least I made enough money."
Well, and of course there's also a version of this scene without Joyce.
else: t "March is almost over now." t "I only have two more work days this month." if tMoney < 700: t "I hope I'll make enough money..." else: t "At least I managed to make enough money..." if romance == "Phoenix": t "But I still can't believe what happened on Saturday." t "I'm somehow really excited to see [pthem] at the bookstore today!" t "Especially because it's one of the last days we'll be working together..."
This basic technique is used quite often to various extends so sometimes it's just a single line that could change based on previous events, sometimes the difference can be a whole scene (like the customer during the afternoon shift on March 13th who only comes back to return a book if you chose the correct one four days earlier), or like in the above example: a mixture of both.
As you can see, this way of handling the consequences of player choices doesn't entirely cut down on writing variations but just in terms of sheer scope I think it's still easier to handle than writing the same scene twice or more. Of course intertwining the variations with nested if-statements brings some problems of its own because it becomes increasingly difficult to see if the dialogue still flows well in all possible variations.
Ultimately it all comes down to deciding which structure or technique best strikes a balance between being economic and making the story feel interactive. And there's no one true way to do that.
For //TODO: today's overall theme and structure it made sense to tell the story day for day and weave in all the branches and variations within those fixed sections of the plot.
Having said that, there are plenty of moments where I strayed from the economic side and wrote some dialogue for cases that are highly unlikely to be seen by many people. Conversely, other moments in the game may be disillusioning if you play it multiple times and realize just how much (or little) changes.
Figuring out what use of branching (or other techniques) is sensible or not for certain situations is a whole other topic so I'll just leave it at that, but I hope this insight into //TODO: today's script was interesting!
[...]
[This post has been originally published on June, 21 2019 on our blog. The brackets indicate small edits for the sake of a better reading experience. Thanks for reading and have a nice day! :3 ]
#devlog#development#game#gamedev#Indiegame#indiedev#visual novel#renpy#scripting#writing#guide#tutorial#todo today#todotoday
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2022 plans
I've seen a lot of people make this type of posts so here is mine. I'm mostly writing this for myself just to see how much of what I have planned I can get done over the course of the year (but I'll still drop this here just in case anyone might be interested).
When it comes to writing, I definitely want to finish To Set You Free. I still have like, 3-4 chapters to write (they're planned out/outlined but I haven't gotten around to writing a single word yet, lol) and an extra 3 chapters that need to be edited, so I should be able to do that.
Once that's done (probably around April or May, if everything goes according to plan), I hope to start writing another Hirosei chaptered fic I have planned ahead, and possibly the sequel to To Set You Free. I'm not sure which one will come first – it'll depend on what inspires me the most when I get there. Regardless, it should be a fun ride!
I'm also planning on getting out 3 Hirosei oneshots this year. One of these was written in a few hours (when I was trying to not study but also be productive so as to not feel too guilty, lol) and needs to be heavily edited so it'll be out in the upcoming months, hopefully. The other two are just ideas that have been floating in my head for a while, so I don't have a timeline for when they'll be out. But they're coming!
I also hope to catch up to the jjk manga so I can have alllllll the details and get to writing some Inuokko and/or some Nanago (or is it Gonana?). I definitely love the dynamic of both of these duos, so I guess I'll be branching out from Barakamon/Hirosei a little, at some point. These will only be oneshots though, as I don't like having too many chaptered fics going on at the same time (and I already have 3 of these to work on).
I have no plans when it comes to updating where does the good go. I don't want to drop it, though. I know I'll get back to it eventually. I just don't know when. Sorry to all my yasukanon and danganronpa mutuals (this is why I no longer even post a chapter unless I have most of the fic written ahead. I've definitely learned my lesson lmao).
On more personal terms, 2022 will be a bit of a burner year for me. 2021 was the year I graduated and got selected for the masters program of my choice, which was rough. Luckily for me, first year of grad school doesn't require much other than passing exams and writing + defending a thesis. I know it sounds like a lot, but compared to last year, the pressure will be much lighter. 2023 will also be a lot tougher on me because I'll be trying to get funding for my PhD, so I will definitely take it easy academically speaking while I can. Whatever free time I have will be spent writing or indulging in anime/manga and video games. That'll definitely be nice :)
Anyway, if you'd read thus far, thank you. Sorry for clogging your dashboards with a bunch of text. I hope yall have an amazing 2022!
#long post#im just rambling so you guys have a better idea of what im up to#my exams for the first semester are also starting Monday#let's pray that goes well lol
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For a while, I've been an asset to the U.S. Government. Since then they have continually asked what it is I want for my service. Since I am apart of a group of Missionaries that doesn't believe in payment due to service it has become complex to perceive what it is I do want. It comes the time to put into detail what it is I desire:
I want to reclaim my real full name, David Windsor. Of course, I want my blood to accept me. But at the moment it is irrelevant. I have an obligation to a people I can seriously relate to. People who if I was in the same position would gladly do the same. Maybe some of them wouldn't but why should that make the difference?
My circumstances have really been unnecessarily shameful. All I've wanted is to explore my identity and yet people offer secrecy. What I've noticed is in every branch of this United States Government there are those of advocacy and heresy. No sector of the organization feels solely the same for me. To consider such a thing would put everyone in the same bubble of thought. Such a form of segregation is something the Enemy holds in high regard. Which is why I shall remain intentionally ignorant of such practices.
I had the money and the means to get to Israel. But some fools froze my accounts impulsively and just plain extemporaneously as if I am some sort of terror threat. When I risk my life for there sakes they decide to paint me as an enemy. The kind of enemy destined for execution by there spiteful hands. What is logic? Simply put I am a Christian who is not swayed by their sinful indulgences.
I don't want a new identity or a new life. I want to accept the identity I've always had and enjoyed the life of which so many fools attempted to control. If my enemies face me like men instead of hiding like children and grow courage in the midst of numbers then I'll be ready. Why fear the wrath of man when I know the wrath of God is exact? Nothing could be swifter. So when I see these Barbie spies hiding every time I call them out I laugh. Because it reminds me of Adam and Eve. Didn't they try and hide from there mistakes? I too have tried to hide from my sins. The sin of deception, of arrogance, of selfishness, of lust, and there's probably more that I'm just not ready to accept. But that is the point, isn't it? We are all sinful people trying to make amends for our mistakes. But the only true way to do such a thing is to accept Christ as your savior. No government could give you a better chance than the Holy Trinity.
Another aspect that just bothers me is there constant attempt to find a code in everything I do. I was looking out this pleasant window expressing part of the Houston downtown area and people act as if I'm scouting out a sniper. My survival is based on a number of factors. But when God tells you you are safe their's no reason to doubt it. Relaxation is something I'm fond of. You just add anxiety when you anticipate something that isn't there.
They've made silent offers to go to school in the states. But frankly, this school system sucks. Elementary, Middle, High, and a bit of college. What did I learn? Absolutely nothing. Every useful skill I learned when I left the states or experienced extremities in the states. A school setting makes me want to regurgitate. Ergo, I would rather throw up than set foot in a ridiculous system. The education I required no money but all commitment. Sure some skills I acquired through favors and some coin. But the most important lessons were learned through earned respect. There's no way a school teacher respects every student. But when you first earn that mentor's respect thereby gaining the important lessons that are when you gain more than any college could give you.
That's not to say you can't gain a wealth of knowledge from any known education system. I've just learned more from the unknown ones.
I'll most likely come back to the U.S. to eventually pursue the arts. But that is not my main objective. I don't have scores to settle but relationships to build. No matter the high or the low that is all that matters. Perhaps the U.S will offer some resources for my journey other than the mud some of them (not all of them) have thrown on my face. But I really am fine either way. Here I can anticipate being treated like I have leprosy. So if I get nothing it would be by no means surprising. Plus they have the audacity to act as if they saved me. When really they're like a dad who decided to stop by after 22 years of abandonment while the mother (the Missionaries and other great heroes) has been protecting and guiding me from day one. And this mama bear hasn't taken any breaks. Even when a lot of them have. I have no doubt some of them relished the thought of my enemies killing me. But I am untouchable by God's grace not by any pitiful physical "mercy".
I am just so sick of feeling like I'm in a prison of misunderstanding. Despite my continual transparency. I'm transparent, not translucent.
There have been times where if they would have told me we're protecting you I would have to ask: how can you protect me from yourself?
Because if I didn't have my license and social a lot of them would have killed me by now. Does that mean they represent the entirety of the U.S. Government? Hell no! People like that are just examples of a load of cowards who can't accept how wrong they are because they're too busy bolstering up their egos. Honestly, I'm surprised they still have a job. How can you rely on someone who's more interested in saving their own asses then the guy next to them?
Oh, and do these pricks get pissed when I call them out on their bullocks. Then they try to act as they care about me. If I was a corpse on the street you would take a selfie, you sick demented morons! But have I, throughout this entire process, had a reason to anticipate death? By Gods Grace: no.
Their mistake is a heavy reliance on fear. I am referring to the cowards of course. Such people are a form of the slaver. They wish to keep their informants in fear so they can do anything they can to take advantage of them. To make the person bend over as they relish in their sadistic pleasures. Such people are the inevitable viruses of any system. Just because a car is dirty doesn't mean it can't be cleaned. Yes, I've given a wealth of information and exposed a wealth of criminals. But that doesn't mean I'm for free. Money has never been an object of concern for me. I've thrived with or without it. Its freedom I will continually seek. No amount of money, no occupation could be worth more than that to me.
Why should anyone fear my expression? Has it ever been a crime to express oneself honestly? Since I don't fear who I am I've officially accepted that cameras will follow me in some way. It seems my reputation has finally landed in the states. But at this point I quite like it. Just as long as personal space is constant. After all, I don't want to be treated like a slave again. A lot of people have called me a weirdo or just been confused by my actions as if I have to fit a certain mold. But I realized when I read the biographies of celebrities they were treated the same way. So I guess I could look at it as a good sign. I do think the photos and videos of me would be fun to watch in certain cases and just a plain invasion of privacy in others.
Despite these neanderthal's, I know a lot of them to care about me. But sympathy or apathy doesn't change that I need to go to Israel. Do I give a damn if my enemies know my destination or not? Of course not and I shouldn't have to mention why. There fear their of overt caution is just evidence of the fact that they have very little understanding of what they're dealing with. But the Missionaries do. And whether they help us or not makes no difference. We will still pursue the mission objective. As we always have and always will.
Yes, the Missionaries could get me there in a matter of days. But the relationship between the U.S and the Creed of Christians (Missionaries) needs to have a solid structure. Its clear to me now the whole purpose of coming back to the US to spill the beans was so I could be free to go where I please. Which thanks to my training is exactly where I'm supposed to go. I definitely can't dispute if it wasn't for the scrutiny of law enforcement and the constant surveillance (for a time) I wouldn't have had the chance to tear away from the fake family. So yeah that tearing away from that toxic mold couldn't have happened without them. It has been freaking cool working with them. Especially when I drove to LA. It was so composed. Every maneuver was a different thrill. And watching my enemies flee in fear wouldn't have been so satisfactory if it wasn't for my exposure induced by there surveillance. Recently the cowards tried to drug me which I can't help but laugh at. If my calculations are correct this is the second time they've attempted this. Even the Russians stopped drugging me because I learned how to fight through it. When it comes to any drugs as long as you physically exert yourself it is plausible to shatter that barrier between you and your capability.
One of the big mistakes some of them have made is thinking I am in some way going to be some sort of Edward Snowden ergo a boy who thinks he could run the country better by pointing out the flaws but totally ignoring his own hypocrisy by sleeping with a Judas of a Government. Look everyone can agree mistakes were made on both sides. As long as we remain transparent and not look for ways to annoy each other we really shouldn't have any problems. Yeah, I've been pissed off at the stupidity that has come my way, but that doesn't change the warm hearts I've come across as well.
Wither they be military, investigative, or a mixture of the two it's not hard to see that the people advocating for me within the U.S. Government and abroad are by no means few in number. This is why it is of the utmost importance for us to work together to put a stop to these extremists by any means necessary.
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