going back to the horrendous, polluted city with my bag of ginormous abandonment issues.

i am going back to the horrendous, polluted city with the emotional ambition to propose to the next tall woman who is nice to me

so i am currently at what i call the HOLY SHIT ACTUAL PRODUCTIVITY phase of conceptualizing a new musical draft thingy which basically lasts for like a week or so and after that happy week, i'll never ever touch the thingy ever again cause a. writer's block and b. i dunno how to write music so um yea i spent the entire morning before class making up random verses for the Grade 11 thingy woo

I can’t believe I started this blog asking for one note and you guys went way above and beyond that <3 <3

let’s do this shit *cracks knuckles*

also some of the points here might be in jumbled order cuz I just wrote them as soon as they came into my head

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE IN MYSTREET SEASON 2:

• ayyy home alone reference

• ok that’s not a bad thing

• WHERE IS LAURANCE. He had no reason to just disappear like that where did he go :(

(side note: I’m pretty sure that Jess was hospitalized during this time, so a lot of characters were cut out and the script was made shorter. so I think that’s why a few characters were scrapped.)

• isn’t llp supposed to be ‘sold out since forever’?? how do Aaron and Dante somehow win tickets FOR EVERYONE just by kissing?? ok sometimes shows or contests give free tickets...but only like one or two. Aphmau literally drags the whole street there

• in my opinion it is IMPOSSIBLE for a whole street’s worth of people to pack their stuff, grab essentials, drive to the airport, check in and get on the plane IN AN HOUR. especially considering that mystreet is the most chaotic street in existence

• why do all the boys swim shorts have the same damn pattern hello originality??

• DAMN TRAVIS GETS UP TO SOME FREAKY SHIT WHEN THE OTHERS ARENT HOME. he literally hires people to impersonate his friends and monologues as katelyn and I’m not even going to repeat those lines here they are CURSED😳😳 where did he even get Katelyn’s clothes from??

• how does the mys gang take Zane, who (im pretty sure) wasn’t even in the house where Garroth and Dante were when Dante broke down the door, but forget to take Travis, who literally lives IN THEIR BASEMENT IN THE SAME HOUSE. for the record HOW DO THEY FORGET LAURANCE. this makes no sense (I don’t really remember this part well so if zane is actually there then ignore me :) thanks)

• garroth saying ahoy matey kills me every time

• I feel like lucinda really got shoved to the side in this season. she barely has any relevant lines that aren’t just filler

• ok there’s a gay couple here it’s Guy and Nate. but isn’t this way of representing them heavily stereotyped?? a twink and a buff guy. Seems like a stereotype to me and I don’t like it because of that

• also arent ivy and teony supposed to be lesbian?? this would have been nice...IF WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE THEM ASIDE FROM LIKE TWO EPISODES. Stop making characters disappear :( I get that not every character can be major but they were like the only decently written lgbtq+ representation this show has plus teony is a dark-skinned beauty and you cannot convince me otherwise. she’s underrated

• I bring to you better lgbtq+ representation: Garrance

• admit it it would’ve been SO MUCH BETTER even tho Laurance wasn’t actually in s2 at least do it in s1

• we need more nb and lgbtq+ representation I’ll say this again and again

• when Aph sees Ivy there’s no mention of her being in a jury of any kind in pdh. Same with Katelyn and Jeffory actually, even Ivan in s3. If these people weren’t in the jury then who was??

• i love mcd Dante but WTF HAPPENED HERE. His character is a mess and not the good kind. he is dumb, flirty and a cheater since highschool and instead of learning from his mistake of cheating in pdh he decides to DO IT AGAIN. And I don’t see anyone else in the cast point this out or tell him not to?? Why??

• HOW TF DO ZANE’S PANTS EVEN FALL DOWN?? he legit goes down a baby water slide and boom theyre gone. Aphmau doesn’t lose her clothes while going down a roller caster water slide that GOES INTO THE SEA so HOW DOES HE?? If they were that loose they would’ve fallen off while he was walking. which they didn’t. Also doesn’t water make your clothes stick to your skin and not the other way around? Ya hello can someone please explain

The next four points are not actually bad things i found them funny in a stupid way but also how tf did they even happen:

• I’m not even going to BOTHER deciphering the physics behind Travis setting the house on fire, having said fire coming into contact with explosive feathers, and yeeting him thousands of miles away into llp

• no seriously how is he still alive

• and why is he allowed to stay?? isn’t this place sold out since forever??

• wow celeste has the power to swim thousands of miles away to llp as well seriously what does she eat??

ok let’s get back to it

• doesnt Katelyn throw Travis off a roof some time in this season, or was it s1? Either way that’s not cool

• the talk between Travis and katelyn was very much needed. I’m very glad it was written in but feel as though it could have been written a bit better. also Katelyn doesn’t even realize what shes doing isn’t ok till here in canon which I don’t like because it makes her seem ignorant or airheaded and I know she isn’t like that. she’s better than that. she should have been at least a bit aware of it since s1

• AND THIS WHOLE TALK WAS SHOVED ASIDE BCUZ AARON HAD TO ASK APH TO LIVE WITH HIM. am I the only one that feels this way? which is more important in your opinion?? there was nothing inherently wrong with this scene but the fact that THIS had more importance than the travlyn talk really upset me

• hello Gene :) the ONLY character with some decent development here. Give him a hand👏👏

let me make it known that I’m aware that this is supposed to be an anime style show so not everything will make logical sense but I’ve still put those points in cuz why not

and that’s all I can think of thanks for coming to my ted talk <3 <3

I’m here from mcyttwt and let me vent some frustrations I have,

1) how did talking about minecraft lore and theories become “we need to be online activists online and if you don’t rt, like, do anything you are the problem”

2) Tommy neg + anything regarding that

Tommys entire idea was that his job is to be a minecraft creator and not be a social activist + how the pressure of Twitter to get him to become something he doesn’t want to do is overwhelming. He (throughout his now deleted alt stream) has said that political isn’t the right word and knows that, but since it is a livestream. I completely understand why he couldn’t think of correct words and has (multiple times) said that he never wants to offend anyone in his community and wants to make it as welcoming as possible.

Twitter took the word political, and made started saying “my life is political!!! Our rights aren’t political” . I’m a minority and lgbtq+ , my life is political, currently there are multiple bills and laws in place trying to remove the current rights I have. IT IS POLITICAL, does that mean I think it should be? Of course not, but currently, as of present day, right now, it is. It is considered political it is politics it has something to do with the government. Whether or not you like that, up to you I’m not here to police people’s morals and beliefs just here to rant ^-^

3) the entire “address this” thing

My entire issue with the whole cc name didnt address this so they must (/s) be a terrible person.

Actions speak louder than words, if they have not made such statements, jokes, etc in the last year or even in the last 6months, I am certain they don’t believe whatever they said before, or even forgot about things they’ve said. While it is nice to see someone owning up to their mistakes, mcyttwt has this issue with holding people’s mistakes over their head and acting like they are in the right for that. They arent. Cyberstalking someone to find every mistake they have ever made, is not progression, it is cyberstalking, it is weird and you would never look into ur friends socials or people you know irl socials to find mistakes they’ve done in the past, so why do you do that for content creators? At the end of the day all they signed up for is, content creation, not to be scrutinized in a lens for every bad misworded tweet bad joke or bad statement they have made how many years they have said that.

No ones prob gonna see this but, if you disagree with me I’m totally up for people to (respectfully) tell me their side of things! I’m also okay if you tell me I misworded things or if I’m in general just wrong (again respectfully) since english isn’t my first language! Anywyas have a good day and sorry it’s kinda long

Hi, so I'm a cis girl, and I'm thinking I might be bi but I'm not sure and it's driving me a bit crazy bc I feel like I should've realized before (?) Or maybe I just think that I am but I'm really straight (?) Idk

1- I just started college and I'm living on my own for the first time in my life, and ever since getting to this city I've been like "wow, girls are hot", but I never had that feeling before

2- I've only had one (1) actual serious crush in my life, and it was on a man. But I am notoriously terrible at identifying how I feel, and I've had some mini-crushes on other guys, as well as some rather confusing and unclear feelings for some of my female friends (one of which is bisexual and even had a crush on me at one point, so I always felt like I was just responding to the attention, but maybe I had an actual crush on her as well???)

3- Obviously, I have no romantic nor sexual experience to speak of with anyone of any gender, so...

4- I play a lot of videogames and interactive fiction where you have like romance subplots and the like, and I've almost always romanced men in those. And the few times I chose a woman, my character was an OC instead of a self-insert. However, lately I've become more and more interested in exploring some wlw romance routes on some of the games I'm playing with a self-insert

5- It makes objectively no sense for me to be somehow repressing my sexuality. I grew up in a fairly liberal country, my parents are not homophobic at all, and 3/6 of my closest friends (and many of my more casual friends) are in the LGBTQ community. I don't know why I wouldn't have known before or why my mind would be hiding this information from me

6- I'm not even crushing on anyone. It's not like I fell in love with a girl or anything, I'm just noticing them more. But it's like a switch flipped. On my first day, I was asked my orientation by a very nice lesbian and I said "straight" without hesitating, all the while thinking "she's cute, but I don't think I'd be into her even if I were into girls". The other day I crossed her on the hallway and I was like "whoa 😳". I thought sexuality was something that was always there, but in my case it seems like I somehow acquired it here or something idk 😂

7- I'm scared to start identifying as bi because that would mean becoming part of the LGBTQ community, and I don't want to enter those spaces only to later realize I was straight all along. It would feel dishonest and wrong. Especially since absolutely everyone I know knows me as a straight woman. Not in a "assumed heterosexuality" kind of way, but in a "a lot of people thought I wasn't straight and I've been verbally communicating my heterosexuality for years" kind of way.

8- I also don't want to ID provisionally as bi bc I don't want to feed into the "it's just a phase" myth

9- Sorry for the long ask, but it's just that I needed to vent and to get advice from someone who doesn't know me irl. Should I wait until I actually get a crush on a girl? Is there a way to know for sure if you're attracted to girls? What do I do???

Dear anon,

Oh, honey. Its as if I actually know you. You sound just like so many people im acquainted with. First I will tell you a joke that my mom and i have which is "straight people don't question their sexuality" if youre thinking you might be bi, ive got some news for you. You probably are. College is a time where a TON of people figure out their sexuality. Also I will note another queer joke that queer people tend to "flock" so yes you may be the token straight friend now, but all your queer friends have probably just been waiting for you to realize youre queer too. Different people figure themselves out at different times. Some people figure out in their 40s or later! Theres no shame! And if you realize you arent bi (but I'm almost certain you are) then thats fine! Labels only hold as much power as you let them. They change. Thats life! Ive changed my labels before. I used to identify as gender fluid and now I identify as nonbinary.

I think you should act upon this to your comfort level. If you want to experiment, go ahead. If you want to wait and see, that's fine! If you want to just tell people youre questioning, that works too! It's up to you. Its your identity. It sounds to me like youre bi, but if youre not ready to accept that or if you still arent sure, then that's fine. Live in the moment. Feel whatever you feel without questioning it. The rest will come later. Theres no need to stress over it.

Good luck, let me know if you have any more questions or just need to vent.

-Day

It's just a little mean to imply that fat is good and thin is bad when both types are good

Wow! You really came all the way to this blog!

Look. I'll be nice- as nice as I can, given how disgusted I am with your last ask, and believe me, I'm furious- and i'll explain why I think you should be ashamed of yourself and why you should reconsider how you treat others. I don't want to block anyone who hasn't yet seen an explanation and had time to consider their actions, so I'll give you this.

You really didn't imply ANYTHING of the 'all bodies are good' sort when you came in my inbox spewing disproven science in an attempt to shame and other fat and chubby people. I really doubt your good intentions and your "both are good" when you decided to state that any body type that isn't Chara's extreme ectomorph is unhealthy in a very snide manner showing clear disdain. If you'll see the things I've reblogged, you'll know health and weight don't connect. I'll re blog even more tomorrow. Just for you.

Minority groups get to joke about the people who have harmed them without someone coming in and pulling a 'that's not nice.' And if you'll note, I was also making it clear that Chara's body was right for them in another ask... Beyond that, all I made was a playful joke that amounted to 'skinny people aren't cool haha." If you take sincere offense with that, please, for the love of God, I hope you're in middle school, because someone 16+ getting offended by that is just fucking embarrassing. If I said 'skinny people smelly' would you be upset?

So, let's break it down: either you have the emotional skin of an infant, OR you just don't like fat people joking about being better than the people who dehumanize them.

If you're LGBTQ (because most of my followers are), would you bitch about people jokingly saying "haha cishet people aren't in the cool kids club," too? Or is it only fat people, who are routinely dehumanized and medically abused based on misinformation that has been proven false, that don't get to have fun calling themselves better? Do minorities not get to joke about the people who hurt us? Me saying 'cis people smelly' doesnt compare to the medical abuse I've faced from transphobes. It's me joking. (If you are LGBTQ and that bothers you than you should probably just leave.)

I agree that body shaming ANYONE is not okay. But... Did I say anything other than a playful "Chara is slender and isn't allowed to be cool 😔" that implied genuine distaste or disregard for their body? Did I do anything but make a playful joke that is absolutely nothing compared to the dehumanization fat people face for existing while being fat? No. I made a playful joke about how skinny people arent in the cool kids club. The chubby kids club. Which Chara is not a part of because they are not chubby. They are not real and real skinny people aren't being excluded from anything, they're the ones telling fat people that they're too fat to be a part of skinny people's clubs and lives.

Note how I even follow up later with an ask stating that Chara is in the right body for them.

I am absolutely disgusted with anyone who responds in such a way- body shaming children!- fictional or otherwise. Your last ask was repulsive and you should be able to take a light-hearted joke without acting like this. You need to understand that it is not okay to speak to people that way and shit on anyone for their bodies, because for all your 'all bodies are Good' drivel, your ask made it clear that you think fat bodies are inherently unhealthy, period. All it did was expose your true colors.

If you're autistic and legimately misunderstood my tone, then let me explain: It shows a massive lack of compassion and a massive amount of entitlement to jam your face in going "HEY WHAT ABOUT ME" whenever minorities joke about being the best when they've been treated subhuman for so long. It shows a profound level of disdain for fat people, subconscious or otherwise, if your instant response to them joking about being better then others is to shame and treat them like they're sick based on the sole fact of being fat. Which, as modern research actually SHOWS, is completely inaccurate.

Your response was disgusting and bigoted, and I'm not tolerating that kind of repulsive behavior. I'm not exposing my EOR followers to it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Make an honest effort to educate yourself until you genuinely believe and understand that both are good, not just when you're being called out, or shut your fucking mouth about the bodies of people that are not you. Did you want me to post the ask and remind all the fat and chubby teens following that people still think they re repulsive? Do you go and tell little kids theyre going to die young for being fat? Come on.

It says a lot that you went on anon to send these. I think you know what you said was wrong (or you're afraid that people will hold you accountable for the way you acted. I don’t post off-anon urls because I know how tumblr is, so you wouldn’t need to worry about that anyways. I don’t really WANT to know who you are, though.)

Got it? You're more than welcome to unfollow if any of this bothers you, but you are even more welcome to stick around and see what happens and why Frisk is better off the way they are.... As long as you quit being a hateful person.

edit:

And one more thing- if you were truly concerned that I was shaming Chara, you would have said that first. In which case, I would have been fine clearing up that I was just joking and Chara’s body is right for them! I could’ve even done it in character and had some fun with it to show just how genuinely it doesn’t matter.

But you didn’t do that. You didn’t send anything specifying you felt it was mean until after I called the first ask out.

No, you saw me joking, PLAYFULLY, about fat and chubby people being better, and decided to send something hateful- or, at the very least, EXTREMELY ignorant. And I can understand ignorance and being uneducated- not everyone has access to information and biases can be hard to unlearn! I can understand that. I can forgive that if someone genuinely wishes to change and learn.

I would really, really like to believe in the best of people. I want to believe people can learn. But you need to put in the effort and compassion to be a better person. I am giving you this explanation because I want to believe in you. I could have blocked you with that first ask, but I didn’t.

Do some thinking. If the idea of letting fat people be themselves, love themselves, and have fun wounds you so much, then the door is right there. I don’t want the support of a bigot, anyways.

If you genuinely care about others and about what you can do to learn, well, I’m right here, actively posting resources about fatphobia that I suggest you read. I am very nice to people who are respectful of others.

Ooo apparently I didn’t scroll down enough. I’m blind lol. “No Taavi, I'm gonna disrespect your religion if it includes being discriminatory towards minorities Deal with it lmao.” Honestly you should do your research first. My religion was the first religion who was against discrimination. We gave women their rights before anyone else. We made slavery a sin before anyone else. We gave black people equal rights before anyone else. My religion is against discrimination. We were the first to treat people outside our religion as equals. So don’t you bring this discrimination thing to me. We believe there is a difference between choices and things which he have no choice over. Caste, colour, creed, sex etc are things you can’t choose. Our religion and in some cases sexuality are things we can choose. We do not disrespect. We do not force you to become Muslims and start believing in what we believe In. We do not force our practices on you. In a Muslim state a Christian, a gay, and everyone of the minorities can live with security and with respect as long as they follow the law. That is Islam. That is my religion. Im not denying Muslims have done hate crimes in the past. But don’t forget Christians have too. There are black sheep’s who show extremist behaviour everywhere. But that is not our religion. If besides all that you continue to disrespect my religion and judge it based on the extremists. Then that just shows who you are as a person and you should be ashamed. “If your religion told you to jump off a bridge when you turn 50 would you still do that? If your religion told you black people were a mistake would you still believe that? If your religion told you in order to go to heaven you had to kill somebody would you still follow it?” As stated earlier my religion was the first one to give black people their rights so them being a mistake is out of question. I doubt my religion would ever tell me anything like this. But for questions sake. No I won’t kill the person. At least not without knowing why they want me to kill the person. But unless it’s not anything major no I won’t kill him. Again as stated before I don’t just blindly follow my religion. I have been given a brain to differentiate right from wrong. So I use it to decide if I want to do something or not. About the jumping from bridge. I believe enough in my religion to know it won’t just ask me to do something for no reason. But to be honest unless they tell me that reason I won’t jump. Again as stated before I don’t just blindly follow my religion. I have been given a brain to differentiate right from wrong. So I use it to decide if I want to do something or not “Taavi shut the fuck up already, no one cares about ur long ass replys.” You cared enough to write this. Just don’t read them if you don’t want to. “Her age was never specified on the feed. Age and sex aside, nobody owes it you to be nice. By posting that feed publicly, it shows that you're still salty over their actions despite you "understanding and not insisting anymore".” Yeah I never mentioned her exact age. True. But I clearly remember saying child/girl and not women. So don’t spin my words please. I wasn’t salty about her not being nice, I was salty about the things that drove her to be like that. I was salty about the world we live in, in which kids have to afraid of other people offering help. Whether that is the fault of society or the way this stupid world works. And honestly if you can’t understand that then there’s no point in continuing this. “I don't even know Taavi but honestly if you defend homophobic/transphobic/racist/sexist/bigoted people you're no better than the people you're defending. People have been murdered for this. Killed in the fucking streets. Executed in their own homes. And even if they're not killed, you cannot fathom the mental and emotional abuse these people face every day just for being "different from the norm." Any religion that says "turn a blind eye to bigotry uwu" is a shitty-ass religion. Trans rights.” Ok so first the people you are mentioning are extremists. I’d like to make it clear I am against all kinds of extremist behaviour. Sadly there are extremists in every religion and society. let’s just say for a second that person A is trans. Person B is transphobic. They are against trans people. They hate them, don’t respect them and believe they shouldn’t have equal rights. Person C is not transphobic. They respect trans people. They treat them as equal and believe they should have equal rights. They just don’t support them. They don’t believe being trans is the right thing to do but if someone is they got nothing against it. Now Person A is in the white zone. Person B is in the black zone. You guys automatically put person C in the black zone too when in reality they are a shade of grey. So does person C deserve the same witch hunt person B gets? No they don’t. Yet they are treated the same. Does everyone has to support you to be a good person and if they don’t see eye to eye with you they are automatically a bad person? Then explain the difference between you and the person B? Why is it just not ok to just like not support anything. I treat you with respect as much as I treat the straights. I don’t judge you. Why can’t just not be enough? You guys want equal rights? What more equality you need? We literally treat you the same. “Taavi listen man I try very hard to understand where you're coming from and I don't believe you deserve hate at all, but I really don't understand what you want to sway your opinion on the subject at hand. Truth be told, you arent lgbtq, so you have No idea what the oppression and hate we face is like. So of course some of us will get rightfully upset when you say homophobes don't deserve the witch hunt. I personally try to educate before berating someone but even then some people aren't homophobic because they're uneducated, they are like that because it's safe for them to be that way in the eyes of Society(3). So to other lgbtq people the first resort is to make homophobia something to be ashamed of, so that, you know, less hatecrimes are committed. Obviously you wouldn't understand this though, or at least not as much as we do, because you arent lgbtq. You have talked to me and my friend and we try our best to help educate you so I dont get why you haven't changed your opinion really. Just because some others get mad at you, from years of repressed oppression? I just don't understand it. - pokeheroes dot com user Riordan-“ First of all I respect you a lot for not hiding behind the mask of anonymity. More then anyone on here at least. As mentioned above all I want is for people to not treat us people in the grey zone the same way they treat the people in the black. Yes sure we aren’t in the white. But we aren’t in the black either. We don’t deserve this witch hunt these people start every time. My friends aren’t even transphobic but they just labelled them as one and continue to spout hate about them. I honestly myself believe that the people who harm others deserve the criticism yes, but me or my friends never harmed anyone. Name one person I disrespected, or treated badly just cause they were not straight. I’m sorry I can’t agree with everyone on the matter that it’s perfectly alright to be gay or whatever. I won’t force my opinion on you. I won’t ask you to stop being you. I won’t judge you just cause of that. I will respect you as much as I do others. All I want it you do the same. I’m not harming anyone. So why do you force your opinions on me. Why can’t you respect me? Why do you judge me? As to the part of you guys educating me. Trust me that is seriously very much appreciated. Maybe one day I will change my opinions. That day isn’t here yet sadly. Also I do understand the oppression they feel. Trust me I know it a lot more then you would think. (Maybe one day you will but that day isn’t t near) I also understand the hate you are talking about. It isn’t much different from the hate islamophobics give to Muslims. Just for being a Muslim I’ve been hated in the past. Just for being from Pakistan I’ve been hated in the past. That’s why I’m saying. There are people who just don’t support your views. I have seen aethists, Christians, Hindus and many more who don’t meet eye to eye with me on my views. They don’t consider my beliefs right. I don’t consider theirs. But we respect each other’s beliefs. You know? It wouldn’t be fair to categorise those who don’t look eye to eye with me but still respect me and treat me the same way they treat others in the same category as people who are against my beliefs and just wish Islam would disappear from this world. Who don’t respect me and my beliefs. Get what I’m saying? Honestly I could care less if people start getting attracted to their cars or their frying pan. It’s their choice. Sure I won’t support it. I won’t be like it’s perfectly alright to be like that. But I won’t be against it either. If someone is that’s their choice. I don’t care. I will treat them the same I treat any other person. End of story. ~~~~~~~ Love Taavi

a late night rant from twitter im putting in one place, because its a trainwreck of several threads there. mostly copy/paste and still not proofread, but a collection of thoughts on gender, sexuality, personal identity, and love and support within the lgbtq community. i do really lay myself bare here so id like to ask that if you disagree or have criticism you do so respectfully and with that in mind, thank you <3 and if this means something to you itd mean the world to me if you shared it

dunno if ive said this here before but like. if you think you might be bi/pan but youre on the fence cos maybe youve never had a crush on a nonfictional guy or get more crushes on guys than on girls and you find yourself tied up in knots like "well im gay but im also attracted to nonbinary people unless theyre mostly woman-aligned but i dont wanna say im bi/pan because then people will think i like girls and like i like them theoretically but--" let go. just say fuck it! im bi/pan! 

try it out and if it doesnt feel right it doesnt feel right and thats fine and in the end no matter what youll have learned a little about yourself. this is actually my advice on any gender/sexuality dilemmas you might be having. go wild. try it out. see how it feels. dont feel like you have to confine yourself to something just because youve stuck with it for some amount of time. 

if youre questioning dive right into the deep end! no matter how it goes youll be a better swimmer in the end. its all not quite rigid and a little fluid anyways (for some more than others obv) so if youre unsure, man... go for it. its ok to backpedal

--

this is important advice to me because ive struggled with it multiple times in the past and this has only recently clicked and i really wish it had sooner. first it was with being... not straight in general. like i was actively dating someone of the same gender and i never considered that that meant, uh, im not straight. always "do you like boys or girl?" "uhhhhhhhhh. uh. UH" 

then with being in the range of aro/ace spect. then with being nonbinary! then with being nb but primarily male. and then goddammit im just a boy. accepting that God I Love Men And Only Men (and with it that i *wasnt* aro or ace in ANY capacity) and then, very recently (like up until a couple months ago. like im p sure this year. not 2017), going back on that and admitting i was bi. it is so so freeing to just say "fuck it" and test those waters!

hell, you find something you resonate with but looks a little silly? go for it! use those bun/buns/bunself pronouns. go with stargender! ace-flux demibiromantic? hell yeah rock that shit! it can always change and you can always decide its not right and go back! h4y dudes

--

all of that especially goes for teens who dont know what the fuck theyre doing. im only 20 yea and barely 20 at that but man i wish id heard this sooner

and please dont take that as me saying "well if youre a lesbian sexuality is fluid and maybe youre actually bi"! hell no. if youre a lesbian and you KNOW youre and lesbian and couldnt ever be anything else then rock on you funky little lesbian! but if you id as a lesbian but are teetering on something like "well im attracted to some fictional and theoretical men but not any real ones and maybe its just compulsory heterosexuality but im not sure and--" dont be afraid to try a different label. its all what feels right to you and theres absolutely no harm

--

people bash on like. """mogai genders""" and nounself pronouns and the split attraction model and all that and like. yeah! those things can hurt people! personally i struggled with the split attraction bit combined with how broadly people define the ace spectrum. it can be used to hurt. and it is used to hurt. sometimes its deliberate, sometimes its not. but the hurt is there. but its not inherently good or bad. 

and yeah, some of it sounds silly. hell, it sounds silly to me sometimes! but to some people hearing that label makes everything click into place, even if just for a little bit, and i take that very seriously. it is one of the best feelings in the world and i want as many lgbtq people (of any age) to experience it. 

for some people it feels right to zoom waaaaaaay in and section it into lots of little bits and for others its "fuck it! i dont know shit! im just queer!" and those are both equally valid (that words been thru 12 garbage disposals but i cant think of a better one) maybe you go back n forth and thats fine too! as long as youre open to it changing or being wrong it cant hurt and, like i said, its one of the best possible feelings to have it click like that

--

as an aside: being bi can *totally* mean "im attracted to men and nonbinary people are long are they arent primarily woman-aligned" or it can mean "im attracted to everyone fuck it" personally? i use bi over pan because i feel like it better encapsulates that i *do* have preferences (i say this all the time but God I Love Men) but ultimately gender doesnt really matter to me cos everyones cute and hot and generally attractive and im not leaving anyone out because im just a little more inclined to kissing boys. but thats me!

--

as Another aside: i do still to some degree identify with uhh this is gonna sound contradictory but agender boy? or more like boy agender? boygender with left none? i just dont personally feel like its worth taking the time to explain over n over. but it used to be, for me, n i dont regret that a single bit! i wouldnt regret that even if i *didnt* still feel that way in any capacity. honestly? 

i dont regret any of the ways ive identified in the past even though feeling stuck and cornered into some got a little harmful to me (and if youve gone through somethin similar and DO regret it and wish youd never heard whatever term you used thats good too. im very strongly advocating for "use whatever labels you want and if it dont fit it dont fit" here but if they did hurt you and youre still hurting about it i understand 100% just dont use it to pull others down. if it concerns you say your piece and let them decide)

--

this is personally a little hard to admit so bear with me here 

honestly? ANY sort of strong identity didnt start developing in me until i was.... 14 or so? and very slowly at that. like gender evened out around 18 and sexuality just a few months ago LMAO. but up until i was a teenager i didnt really feel much of anything re: gender or attraction (and the attraction thing is pretty normal for kids and even teens tbqh!) 

and i just.... didnt really think about it! i had This Name and apparently was a girl and i didnt really get what it was like to BE a girl but thats what people said and i didnt know there were other options so i went with it! the name didnt bother me either (except for when people made jokes about a Certain Historical Figure with the same one. just thinking about that i get tired) 

and when it came time to actually grapple with the whole concept of being *into* people i just kinda... slunk away! no joke until like 10th grade if someone started a rumor that i was dating x or y had a crush on me i would start to avoid them entirely. lost a friend in 4th grade that way but then in hs hed turned into a TOTAL DICK so no loss there. i think part of that was also people making the assumption that i was straight though? big shrug! 

i didnt even realize attraction was a thing i had until i got asked out and just kind of "oh wow??? that sounds so nice??? i feel the same??? yes??" and thats WHY i went thru varying aro/ace labels. cos it unfolded slowly (which again is totally normal if youre a teenager, so dont worry about it if youre going thru that. roll with the punches. and if youre a teen and youve got it figured out? thats totally normal too!) 

and the gender thing was similar once i learned that it was an actual possibility (especially being nb, and ESPECIALLY especially being agender) i slowly just... poked at it until i figured something out (fun fact: what set me off to finally go "fuck it im not a girl at all" was being stuck in an awful hair salon chair while my mom got a haircut that took FOREVERRRRRRRRR and i was having godawful period cramps. like i knew not being a girl wouldnt DO anything about them but i made that decision then n there n didnt look back!) 

and then i kept pokin at it and watching it like the seed id planted finally started to sprout and i realized i didnt actually know what kind of seed it WAS. i guess ive always been very nebulous in those aspects and its just now forming into something solid. like i said, its a little hard to admit and i... dont think ive actually talked about this in this depth before to, like, anyone? 

because the "oh ive always known" narrative is the only one you ever see in popular media and sometimes even from the community itself! and theres nothing wrong with having always known! but theres also nothing wrong with being like me! but i still feel a little anxious talking about it like it somehow means im a sham. 

hell, id even go so far as to say i WAS a girl as a kid! i WAS varying shades of agender and nonbinary and ???? as a teen, and i AM, like, 95% a guy right now! maybe in a few years ill be something else. none of those things contradict each other. things like that can change! its not set in stone (but like i said: for some people it is! or, like, set in slime that you left out for 5 years so now its pretty much a rock but if you really try it still squishes into something else?? none of these things invalidate the others! were all unique). 

i wouldnt say that at any point ive been cis or straight, cos even when i just went with being a girl and stuff it was always a little ??? but, yknow. even if i HAD been those things at some point it wouldnt matter to me? things just are the way they are and were the way they were

--

im making myself really vulnerable here and my thought process is a mess and i ramble and repeat myself and my memory and attention span is like 2 seconds and i dont proofread but. its important i think. i dont have a lot of followers and fewer still thatre active but... that really doesnt matter. 

maybe someone will retweet at least one of these messy, messy threads. maybe link it to a friend. maybe screenshot it and post it on tumblr [note: LMAO YEAH AND ITS YOU DUMBASS], or to keep for themself. if any of my words help anyone out even a little then it matters and honestly? then its the most important thing in the whole danged world. if even one person sees any of the things ive said tonight and it means *anything* to them, even if just "oh, im not alone in this" then ive succeeded here. 

i dont want any of us to ever feel trapped or alone because shit! lifes too fuckin short for that! its goddamn hard being anything but cisgender and straight! sometimes it sucks! like really sucks! there have been so many times ive broken down completely over being trans and felt like, for myself, its the most awful thing in the world. its why prides so important. its why community is so important. 

because even when the pressure of the world brings you down so low you think youll never escape theres something or someone there to take your hand and pull you back up, put you on your feet, and say "i know its hard. and itll get hard again. but i believe in you, and youre strong enough for this, and im here with you through every step". that goes for anyone but especially goes for us. and im not just talking about lgbtq youth here. all of us. which is *why* im laying myself completely bare here. 

most of this stuff? ive either never talked about or only vaguely mentioned. but im putting it out there. because there was a point where i needed it but didnt have it, and even if its just one person, i want to give someone this advice so at least they dont have to deal with the same stuff i did. and if youre reading this? i love you. im here for you. im my dms are always open and if for some reason they arent its almost definitely an accident and if you say something ill reopen them. 

and if youre someone who hates me? maybe even mutually? if it came down to it id let you come to me at your lowest moment, no questions asked, no judgement held, and at the end of it still be the same kind of enemies we were before and never speak again. there are some exceptions of course but honestly ill forgive a lot for someone who needs that kind of support. and if youre one of the people this applies to, i know youll probably never take me up on it. i dont expect you to. i dont expect you to even for a second be comfortable with that idea. thats fine. but if for some reason you ever need it, its there. 

i can count on one hand the ex friends that i wouldnt give that to and thats ONLY because theyve legitimately hurt me and left lasting damage (and for some of them? its mutual. and im sorry for that, regardless of how i feel about your treatment of me im truly sorry for my actions. that probably sounds fake and anyway i digress) 

and if youre a complete stranger? someone who follows me but has never interacted with anything ive posted? a mutual i havent spoken to yet? im here. and im bumbling, and awkward, and not the best at comfort but you can always come to me if you need someone. im only one man and im under a lot of stress but i swear ill do the best i can, even if its only reading and replying 3 days later and even then just listening and offer whatever gentle comfort or reassurance youll accept. 

because thats important to me. thats the impact i want to leave on this world. i dont ever want anyone to feel as small, as scared, as worthless, as alone as i have. im no fighter. im not going to lead any revolutions and hell im too anxious to even go to protests but im here for support. im here to help and heal. and thats important too

--

and if you listened to that? thank you. if you just skimmed? thank you for that too. if you shared it with someone? thank you (so much). and if you dont? thank you anyways, just for the time

just know this: i love you. i dont care who you are, if youre reading this i love you and im behind you 100%. im here if you need it. stay strong, do something that makes you smile if only for a moment. take that leap of faith. dont restrict yourself for even a second

i meant to go to bed at least two hours ago so goodnight <3 be safe, drink some water, if you have any kind of pet give it some love. take care of yourself. youre the most important person in your own world and never forget that, even if you dont think you are. even if theres something or someone you treasure above everything else. dont diminish your own worth! you are alive, and you are here, and theres nothing more important than that, really. the things you love matter more than anything else. hold them close

I posted 8,369 times in 2021

1285 posts created (15%)

7084 posts reblogged (85%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.5 posts.

I added 4,223 tags in 2021

#rwby - 913 posts

#ruby rose - 607 posts

#rwby ruby rose - 599 posts

#drabbles - 504 posts

#weiss schnee - 347 posts

#yang xiao long - 284 posts

#skits - 282 posts

#cinder fall - 264 posts

#blake belladonna - 261 posts

#rwby spoilers - 162 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i was almost always bruised up as a kid and it took months to get child services off my parents' ass because i just wasn't a careful kid

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Since it is once again pride month, a little reminder to everyone: this blog is a safe place for the lgbtq+ community. If I ever post anything from a terf, please let me know. As well, trans girls are girls, trans men are men, bis, pans, aces, and aros exist, agenders and enbys are valid, aces are not confused, and for the love of god, bis and pans arent greedy, lesbians are still lesbian for dating transgirls, and its okay to question and try out different labels or even mix and match a few to see what fits right.

And for those who are questioning sexuality or gender, feel free to continue doing so. No matter what, you're part of this too. We're all here, we're all queer, and you should never be ashamed.

And as always... Terfs can fuck off.

106 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 13:02:25 GMT

#4

I feel like we need to see more posts about what people like about Cinder Fall. So please, reblog this with some Cinder appreciation.

Honestly, I really do love how complex she really is. That her whole goal is to finally gain freedom but she goes the completely wrong ways to go about it. Makes it nice that she's evil with a cause instead of just evil.

258 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 09:22:58 GMT

#3

I do wish we'd get more ace/bi/pan/trans/aro m/f rep. Doesn't matter the combination of sexualities and genders, it'll still be queer rep, even if its not m/m or f/f and people need a serious reminder that those identities are still very queer.

349 notes • Posted 2021-10-11 18:57:14 GMT

#2

At the risk of making a very controversial statement, as well written as Zuko's redemption was in ATLA, I do believe its a horrible example to uphold as the only way to do a character arc.

"Now Bridgy, why are you suggesting this?" you may ask. Well, here's why: lately throughout many fandoms, I'm starting to see more and more talk about certain characters that do or dont deserve redemptions and oftentimes, I see Zuko's redemption always being brought up on how to do it right. And it was right... for Zuko. But redemptions, like clothes, arent one size fits all no matter how well it's marketed. There are characters, like Zuko, that end up in a position where their greatest foe is themselves, which makes his redemption arc fantastic because he had help in the form of his uncle to keep him on track on mostly on the right side.

And then we have redemptions like Catra from She-ra. Her's... was a mess. She was self destructive, manipulative, abusive to those around her... all because of the cycle of abuse that she was trapped in after the one person she cared about left. It took all the way til she hit rock bottom to realize that pushing everyone away, abusing others, manipulating everyone around her... it wasnt doing anything to help her. And then she was finally given the choice to do better. And she took it. And regardless of how messy her redemption was, it was still well written for her.

"But Bridgy, these characters have shown they had good in them deep down. They deserved those arcs," you might say. And this is where another controversial statement is going to come up. I do not believe that any character deserves a redemption. A redemption is a choice, not an award. And when writing a well written redemption, one has to ask themselves "would this character take the opportunity if it presented itself?" In some cases, such as Zuko and Catra, that becomes a yes, resounding or hesitant. In others, such as Adam from RWBY, it becomes a no. Now, you can drag a character kicking and screaming through a redemption, and sometimes that can work really well, while other times it can flop. Either way, redemptions arent deserved.

"But what about those characters that murder? Or the ones who actively try to kill the heroes?" you may ask. And I raise you with the answer of those are villains. They're supposed to kill/cheat/steal/hurt those around themselves/ect. They're exactly the people who need to make that choice of going through a redemption. Even comics have some villains that manage to pull themselves out, like Harley Quinn or Poison Ivy, and even though they tend to stay villains in most comic runs, often times they do end up partnering up with heroes to do the right thing.

TL;DR: Redemptions arent deserved, or earned as a reward, they're a choice. An active choice that a character has to make, hence why it's called an redemption arc and there is not one single way to write one. A well written arc has to be tailored to the character, be it a choice they make, a choice they are given, or dragged through kicking and screaming and eventually realizing that they're better off trying to make things right. Any character can be redeemed as long as they make that first step of choosing to be better.

412 notes • Posted 2021-08-08 15:30:25 GMT

#1

Just my daily reminder, now that Pride Month is around the corner: This blog is a safe place for all LGBTQ+ identities. That includes: aces, aros, pans, bis, enby's, agenders, people who are questioning, agenders, lesbians, gays, and any other identity that falls under LGBTQ+.

1110 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 20:40:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

Ask Compilation

Topics covered:

Pearl things! (Thanks you~)

How the mighty fall in love

Leaving your love behind

Writing characters with trust issues

When someone won’t accept your feedback

All other questions should be listed on the ask queue page, which the exception of one character related ask from @christinawritesfiction.

Pearl Things.

@bargainpopsicle said: Im so excited to be able to get the hard copy of Pearl!! Ive slowly but surely trying to work in some LGBTQ+ books with great stories to my book club (symptoms of being human, let's talk about love, simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, etc etf) but there really arent a lot of trans (specificially nonbinary) main characters in books, and I thank you for providing that. I'll most definitely be recommending the book to the club as soon as I get the chance!  

@spacedust-lion​ said: Hey, as I finally got around to reading Pearl's first chapter, I must say... that I'm in love with it! Just... Dejean and Simone's interactions, Perle's rightful distrust of the two humans, the idea of those human-eating sirens (which do seem really interesting at this point), everything makes me want to learn more about this world and its characters! I can't wait for the release the full book! (I've been a pretty silent follower up until now, but I couldn't leave it at just like this time) 

AWW THANK YOU BOTH!! <3 I’m so glad you guys are enjoying Pearl. I had such an amazing time working on it, and I’m really excited to share the rest soon!

[For anyone new to the party, Pearl is my soft steampunk novel due to be released summer 2018. You can read the first chapter here.]

How The Mighty Fall In Love.

Anon asked: I was wondering if you could help me with something about my character. She is very powerful and loves her powers so much. But at the end she falls in love with a mortal and I had people suggesting it would be good if she gave up her powers to be with him but I think it's out of character... What do you think?

You have to do what you feel is best for you story. It sounds like giving up her powers would be a good point of character development, which is probably why people are suggesting it. Forcing her to choose between keeping her powers or being with this mortal (via the plot, not through the mortal giving her an ultimatum) is one possible way she could demonstrate that she loves this mortal more than she loves her powers. But it’s not the only option. 

Maybe...

She doesn’t learn to put aside her power, and ends up sliding into a clear path toward destruction.

She doesn’t learn to put aside her power, and her love is hurt, but chooses to stay with her anyway.

She’s willing to put aside her power for the mortal if she absolutely has to, but she believes that her power is also important (either to her identity or because it allows her to do important things, etc) and she grows as a person by learning that sometimes you have to fight for everything you love, and through this finds a way to keep both her power and the mortal.

Her powers and her love for them is just a seamless part of her that isn’t shown to be good or bad, and her character development involves an entirely different trait.

Leaving love.

Anon asked: Can I ask if you know what conditions people are likely to leave in? I'm writing a mystery sort of novel and after the main issue is resolved, I want one of the two partners to leave (not die) the other. But I need a reason for them to because they're pretty in love with their SO, I feel like it would be too abrupt? I'm thinking corruption from a higher up could be plausible but I'm unsure,,,

Honestly, there are too many conditions to even begin to count. Try brainstorming the reasons you might leave someone you love, reasons people you know have left someone, reasons your favorite fictional characters have left someone, etc, and once you have a nice long list, see how you can alter each of those reasons to fit with your mystery novel’s plot and characters.

You can make anything plausible if you weave it into the plot well enough. Give signs early on the The Reason might be an issue, or that one of the characters is secretly struggling with it.

Writing Characters with Trust issues.

Anon asked: hi, i love your blog! not sure if you have answered this already, but if you have time i was wondering if you have any tips towards writing a character with severe trust issues? i want them to have a backstory that makes sense (why they have trust issues to begin with/what caused it) but i'm worried i'll make it too cliche or over-the-top. any thoughts or suggestions? i understand if youre busy! have a nice day

In my personal opinion, a character shouldn’t have to have some tragic explanation for their problems. Real people often have things like trust issues simply because their trust was betrayed in little ways over a long period of time, or because they never learned to work through the issue the first time it happened and have created for themselves a self-fulfilling prophecy.

However, many readers are accustomed to having negative emotions and traits supported by some incredibly tragic piece of backstory, so without it, it might be a bit harder to convince everyone your character’s trust issues are warranted. 

Try to show these trust issues front and center in the character’s life. What emotions does it bring up? How does it effect little, everyday choices? What does the character think about their own trust issues; (do they realize they have them, or do they justify them, or are they oblivious?)

Don’t rely on internal monologue (“wahhh everyone betrays me”) if you can demonstrate it through unreliable narration (”I can’t meet with Pam for lunch, she’s just trying to sell me her art”) or action (over-reminding the barista that it’s the blueberry scone because they were given a lemon one once three years ago and don’t trust this coffee shop anymore.)

When someone won’t accept your feedback.

Anon asked: Hello! I've been working with someone as their beta, and while they've requested that I help them with their blind spots, I've been having difficulty explaining to them not only what their blind spots are but also how to develop them into strengths - they flatly don't believe they're actually as inexperienced as they are in those given areas. Do you have any ideas on how to explain things, please? I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job as a beta.

If you haven’t already, you should check out this post on giving good critique! Some other things to keep in mind:

Some writers don’t actually want to face their flaws (even if they say they do.) There’s nothing we can do about that, and in those cases sometimes it’s just best to quietly step away.

Many writers need time to process through the fact that the thing they thought they’d done well is actually not great after all. (I can’t count how many times I’ve wanted to snap at someone for daring to point out something that obviously wasn’t an issue in my writing, only to come back a few hours or days later and realize what they said was right, and I can see the signs of it clear as day.)

Sometimes writers who are very far beneath your skill level in a certain area need to be giving simpler things to fix. Make sure the things you point out are manageable for their skill level in that area. Even if they can’t see the whole picture of how much they have to grow, small movement in the right direction will get them closer to where they eventually need to be.

well here is how my past 2 days went! they were both pretty bad lol

so yesterday my first class was orgo lab. it was better than last week but it still fucking sucked oh my godddddd the actual lab only took everyone maybe 90 minutes but we had to get an nmr for our products and we had to do it one by one and it took 12 minutes per person so even though i tried to take my time doing things really slow to keep myself occupied i still ended up w like 50 minutes of doing nothing! it was so boring 

and then there was the girl who set me up. so we did the nmr in this separate room in the basement and the chairperson for the chem dept was operating the machine. the girl who works at the lab station next to me is named julia and i thought we were friendly acquaintances since we ask each other for help sometimes. so i got down to the room to run my product through the nmr machine and there were a bunch of students there already waiting for their results and stuff and the chairperson was talking to one of them and didnt acknowledge me at all so i was about to go wait for him to finish talking then ask him what to do but julia who had literally just finished putting her thing in the machine came over to me

she was like “oh i can help you set your product up and show you how to put it in!” so i was like “wow thanks!” so she showed me and as i was trying to put it in the machine it wouldnt go in so i was like ????? and then i realized julia literally showed me the completely wrong way to do it!!!!!!!!!! the chairperson came over and he was like “whoa whoa whoa that is not how youre supposed to do it” and then he showed me how to do it correctly. now julia had literally just finished setting hers up so i find it highly unlikely that she made honest mistakes when showing me what to do! i think she did it on purpose to make me look bad. she embarrassed me in front of not only the chairperson but my peers as well and if it was my messy classmates i wouldnt mind but it was all the ones who are actually good at this stuff!! rip idk what she gained from that since the chairperson has no influence over my grade but still an iconic cutthroat move i guess! i just wish she did it to someone that wasnt me

also i overheard 2 of my classmates talking about her a little earlier and they were talking about how she tried to steal both of their spatulas! so this julia girl is just cracked overall which is better than her just having a personal vendetta against me i guess

also 2 good things happened in that lab at least! first of all in the pre lab lecture noor came and sat next to me instead of whoever she sat with last time! so that was nice bc i wasnt sitting by myself. and then during the lab i was pipetting something and federico (the REALLY cute guy) was up to that too so he came over and he was like “can i borrow your pipet when youre done” and i was like yeah so it was nice that he talked to me

then i had like 45 min before gsa so i texted danielle and we hung out until the meeting and then the actual meeting was so much fun! we played jeopardy w lgbtq related questions and we were making the teams danielle and i were on one team while the president was on the other and we beat his team BOTH times! it was literally iconic bc we were losing the first game at first but then i started getting all these questions right and danielle started getting them right too and then in the second game this other girl on our team started answering everything too so the 3 of us were an unstoppable trio and the president was so bitter

also that reminds me i recently found out at last weeks eboard meeting and then i got even more info from danielle that day. so apparently literally all the other minority-based clubs on campus hate us and wont work with us bc our president wore that make america great again hat so like...rip that sucks for us lol 

so yeah gsa was super fun then in orgo lecture i got there early to make sure those freaks didnt steal my seat again but other than that it was uneventful

then there was what happened today. sociology was boring psych was relatively fun but also uneventful. anatomy lecture was fun except for one thing. the prof needed someone to help demonstrate something and he chose this random guy from the second row instead of me! and like it had to be a guy bc what he did would be kinda weird if he did it to a girl and i was the only guy in the front row so it wouldve been common sense to choose me but instead he chose that random!!! it was s/t about kidney stones so he made the guy come up to the front of the class and he had him like lean forward on the front table w his back/ass to the prof and rest of the class and he was like showing where the kidneys are and where to hit them if youre testing for kidney stones so he put his hand flat on this guys back and then hit his hand (that way he wasnt literally slapping the student) and its like...if he chose me that wouldnt been so iconic bc he wouldve had me bent over that table and he wouldve been touching my back but instead he chose that other guy so that was where things started going downhill

then anatomy lab was where it got even worse. so it was just a review lab before next weeks practical so he lets all any of his lecture students who arent in his lab sit in just to get extra review. so the lab was so full w all these randoms which made me irritated and one of the people there was the seat stealing guy! he was w this other girl and they were there kinda early and i was watching and they were gonna sit but theres only enough seats for everyone in the class so if extra people come theres gonna be a shortage of chairs. so they were sitting down and the girl was like “actually maybe we should stand bc it wouldnt be fair to the people who are actually in his lab if we stole their seats” and the guy was like “who cares!” and sat in a seat i was just like hmmmm.... so i guess hes just like this all this time 

so then i was still waiting for lab (several of us including the prof were there extra early bc lecture ended early) and this one random girl was talking to the prof just about random things for like 10 minutes!! i was jealous like who tf is she? freak

so then the actual lab was boring it was just review but it was kinda nice at first bc the prof was waiting for the TA to make copies of something so he was literally just telling us jokes it was like a rupauls drag race stand up comedy challenge but it was ruined for me bc the seat stealing guy was literally kissing this profs ass the ENTIRE time and he does this in all the classes ive had w him but he was doing it like even more than usual and it was just annoying i wanted to tell him to shut up but all of my peers like him so if i do that im not gonna be able to make any friends in my classes bc ill be the villain

so then after he finished the review we were left to review some more on our own then just leave whenever we felt like it but he also put out a sign in sheet for attendance. so everyone went up to it at once and i dont like waiting in crowds like that so i was just sitting then when the crowd dissipated i went up to sign it and it was gone and i was like “wheres the sign in sheet?” and the prof called out to the ta to take it out so i could sign it (it was literally right there but it was under the TA’s stuff so i couldnt just take it out on my own lol) and the prof seemed kinda exasperated at me asking and it upset me bc like its not like i waited until the last minute of lab to sign in?? like idk why they put it away so fast 

then most of the people left so i was at my table alone and there was one other table w like 4 people including the girl the prof was talking to earlier. and the prof literally went over and sat at the table with them just to talk about regular things! which he literally never does bc he always stays by his desk so first him not talking to me at all except for being pissy to me and then him being so nice and friendly to those other students really put me in a bad mood. but the TA came over to me and asked if i needed help w anything which was v nice of him. i didnt need help bc i was just reviewing the online models on the ipads but still. but then the TA went and sat down w the prof and those other students so whatever

so then i left and walked my dejected ass all the way to my car and drove home pissed off the entire time and yeah thats it! tm i only have orgo so since i have a lot of free time im gonna try to finally go to the student counseling center and set up an appointment