On a slightly more serious note, I just wanna post this before the final entry, not counting the epilogue. I’m so, so thankful for Dracula Daily. It’s been an absolute blast beginning to end, reading discourse, seeing the jokes and memes and all the art, reading theories and reactions. And getting to be apart of that! Reading this book again in this format was a hell of an experience but the fact that I didn’t do it alone, I don’t know. We’ve all gotten to experience this book in a new way in real time together. I love that. And I hope that it won’t be just a one-off event, either. And even if it is? But this? It’s been wonderful. So, thank you to everyone for collectively going nuts over a 130 year old novel. Thank you for posting and making those artworks and memes and analyses. Reminds you you’re human and not stuck and alone.

pandemic, ugh, pls stop!

Hey, Tumblr!

It's been such a really long time since the last time I'm blogging but this quarantine really fucked me up.

When the first time COVID-19 announced to the world, the 'LOL' just came to my mind. Like, how the fakk can the virus spread by touching people? Really out my mind. Even when the corona appears to my country, and my campus put sanitizer everywhere, I take it as a joke, that HAHA really comes from my mouth, I even want to refill my own sanitizer because it's really stupid, at that time.

I'm the one who really YEAY when school and college are off so I can fuck off from all the committee and organization that I joined in. I can save money, I don't have to interact with a stranger or even people that I hate. I do love social distancing and quarantine like for months!

But UGH, not today.

I used to have a life plan to do hikikomori, which is the act of total withdrawal from society and seeking extreme degrees of social isolation and confinement. As an introvert, I THOUGHT the moment that I spent with people is really bothering me. Like, I do love alone, people just drain me.

THEN I'M WRONG. Super-very-wrong.

I've been thinking on the last month of 2019, I need to do my best act with people on campus, because this is gonna be my last, so it needs to be well spent. But being distancing was also OKAY because I hate people.

It was. Now, I really miss everyone, literally everyone, even that girl with the voice that really annoys me every time she opens her mouth.

The time that I spent just to wait for the class with my friends, the time when I went to Bandung just to run away from the organization that really waste my time, even every small talk, the smallest one like say "hi" to everyone that I met, I really miss them a lot.

And another thing that I regret is, I used to hate to take photos. All the memories just in my mind, and sometimes I write it in the diary but it's not breakeven, I really hate this situation.

My parents did not allow me to hang out with my friends, but day by day I just get crazier, my anxiety gets worse, I can't even do easy things that I used to do in minutes. They told me to hang out like 1 time a week, but it's not like that. Even I want the person, but I also want the situation. 

People say you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

Like yep, I just realize now. This makes me so sad.

I've been spent a lot of time chatting with my friends, having a talk by phone, and even meeting with friends that close, but it's really different. Like everything so different and I really hateeeee everything.

Now I'm on my 5th semester, next semester gonna be my 6th. I really wished A LOT that class is offline. But sadly, the class gonna be online. UHHHH. I really shock when I read the announcement. Even it's offline, I only have little time to spend with my friends, but WHY it needs to be online? I really miss the moment of studying together, the laugh that I can see front my eyes, the gesture of people, even the smell of the body. I lost like half of the interaction because all this syittt distanttt:’(

There's always a rainbow after the storm, I know it would be. But this time is just getting harder day by day, I really don't know what to do to make me feel better.

I really wish this pandemic can over with a happy ending, and I can through this thing. I wish every hard step that I made today really worth in future.

See you!~

where to begin?

i really dont know where to begin, so let’s begin with onision’s earliest interactions with women, the following are excerpts from lifeofonion.com because they seem to have the most comprehensive knowledge of greg’s pre-skye life:

Childhood Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on in Elementary School.

Aubry

He says Aubry was the first girl he ever dated and the first girl he ever thought he loved. They dated in the 2nd grade. Greg says one day a boy named Phillip said Aubry was his girlfriend and told Greg to get away from her. He said other "nasty things", so Greg asked Aubry if she minded watching him beat Phillip. She said she did not, so he turned around and "began swinging as hard and fast as I could..." Phillip grabbed Greg's long hair and flipped him. Greg says he landed on the ground and Phillip "managed to land quite a few punches." The fight was broken up and Greg says Phillip cried and Greg smiled. Greg says he and Phillip were "ok" after the fight, but Phillip passed away two years later.

He says he and Aubry never talked after the incident.

Alana Greg says he had a crush on Alana in elementary school. He says she always had surgeries on her arm and felt bad for her.

Amber Greg says he fell for Amber in the 4th grade and she was the most beautiful girl he met up until that point. He says he spoke to her on occasion, but in 2005 he said he lost track of her.

[Unknown Name] In the 4th grade, he asked a girl out that looked like Winona Ryder with a letter. She ended up dumping with with a letter.

This could be Amber (above).

Pre-teen Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was 10 to 12 years old.

Lindsey Greg says Lindsey asked him out when he was in the 5th grade. He didn't understand what she meant and asked, "which movie?" She later broke up with him from a line he believes she got from the WB. He says it was all a "sham", but he thought she was funny at the time.

Julia Julia was Greg's first kiss. He also had his first sexual experience with her. Greg was 11 and Julia was 15. This would have been in 1997. Greg spoke about his experiences with Julia several times over the years. In 2018, Greg named and modeled a character in his 3rd book, Reaper's Creek, after Julia and wrote about their sexual experiences. This caused some controversy due to their ages.In 2019, Greg bought a love doll to sell nude photos and videos of and named her Julia Love.

Crystal Greg says he dated Crystal in the 6th grade. He says she looked like Zooey Deschanel, "except she was Mexican". She dumped him because she thought he had blue eyes, when he really had green eyes.

Teen Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was a teenager

Monica Greg says he asked out Monica in the 7th grade. He says "she basically looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt with braces." They dated for two weeks. She dumped him because her friend did not like him.

Sharnell

Greg says they dated when he was 15-years-old. He says he groped Sharnell's boob, then broke up with her.

Jennifer Greg had a crush on Jennifer when he was 15. Jennifer is Michael's sister. They attended Greg's father's church. Greg says she was hyper and loved to run. Greg says he had his eyes on Jennifer for a while. He loved her high energy and he thought she was fun. He also notes that he liked that she was inexperienced with boys because he likes "teaching people about everything".

Greg confessed his feelings for her in a letter, but she called him and told him she did not think of him the same way. Greg continued to see her for a while whenever he would visit his father.

Ashley Greg says he met Ashley in his high school Earth Club. They spoke on and off for three years. Eventually they began watching movies together in each other's arms. The relationship came to an end when Greg invented his religion, Sicesca, and they had a huge fight over it. Ashley told Greg she never wanted to speak to him again and he laughed about it.

Unknown Age Greg did not specify when he dated these girls.

Danielle

Greg says he broke up with Danielle because "she kissed me like a garden hose." Greg says years after they dated, she called him to brag about how large her breasts got. Keesha Greg says he thought that Keesha was "literally, psychotically in love with me... like... horror film "in-love"." He says everything she owned had his name on it and "every other word she spoke was one directed towards me, about me..." He says he broke up with her because she hit on him too much. He tied to tell her he preferred smiling as flirting, but she did not understand.

Tia

They were friends, but ended up dating. He said it was weird and when they kissed, he didn't feel anything. They broke up after only dating four days.

In 2005, while talking about their short relationship, Greg says, "she's quite fantastic, she has a wonderful laugh, beautiful eyes, smile.. she just makes me feel comfortable..." They possibly could have still been friends at that point as he kept in contact with many of his exes at that time.

and now we move onto the skye era, which my main source will be lifeofonion still but also skye and shiloh’s testimonies about their relationship. 

skye and greg met in 2001 in their computer class, but didn’t start talking until 2003, and by 2005 they were married and greg was enlisted in the us air force (usaf)

“Skye and her sister, "Netunesa", participated in many of Greg's early websites and videos. For example, they began working on a video series on January 2, 2005 titled Odd Dolls. This was described on their site as dolls doing "hilarious/nasty things to one another.. these things involved such acts as, murder, arson, PDA, swearing, and various other non-PC actions." They made about 24 episodes. Greg said he broke up with Skye for the first time because she was depressed and he told her he could never make her happy. They because friends. In January 2005, Greg signed up for the United States Air Force. A few months later, in March 2005, someone who is believed to be Skye's mother told her to "be careful around Greg" because of his anger. Greg confronts this person through email and explains that he argues with Skye to "teach her something." The next day, Greg sent Skye what seems to be an email talking about a separation between them. He forwarded the email to his ex Tanya and asked her opinion. He then sent his ex another email, seemingly trying to win her back. Two months after the incident, on May 28, 2005, Greg and Skye became engaged. Greg stated, before their marriage he asked Skye to sign a prenup and she cried. Greg now uses this incident as evidence of his claim that Skye put on "water works" because she was interested in his money.”

greg and skye married in august of 2005 and for the first few years of their marriage they moved around a lot due to greg’s military job.

“On January 24th, 2007 Greg wrote a long blog post explaining why he made the decision for he and Skye to stop hanging out with friends and only hang out with each other and family. He explains he chose Skye to be with him for the rest of his life and having friends does not improve it and makes him suffer. Three days later, on January 27th, 2007, two mutual friends of Greg and Skye tried to separate them because the friends believed Greg was bad for Skye. Greg replied to this on his blog and told the friends that they are in-fact the ones that are bad for Skye because they can't look past his personality and they don't know he tells Skye he loves her every day.”

this is clearly the beginning of greg’s isolation and abuse patterns which he continued with shiloh, and continues with kai.

“In a 2008 blog post, Greg reveals his worst nightmare is not about monsters, but of his his wife leaving him or vice versa. This is something he would again say about his [husband], [Kai], in 2016. During his marriage to Skye, Greg would publicly express never wanting to have children. He said it would be selfish to have children due to overpopulation. (this was a speaks video) Years after the marriage (and after becoming a father), Greg said it was Skye who didn't want children and that's why he would say that. Greg revealed a couple of their marriage agreements in a 2010 video titled "Lover's Pact". One is an "honesty pact", to never lie or keep secrets from each other. The other agreement is a "health pact", to stay skinny. He states it would be selfish for one of them to gain weight and not take into consideration the other person's sexual needs. He says it would be hard for them to maintain attraction for the other when they are "intentionally, consciously letting themselves go". Greg spoke more about his marriage to Skye on his OnisionSpeaks channel and would give viewers advice about how to have a successful marriage like theirs. It is believed most of these videos were removed from his channel after the divorce.During the entirety of the marriage, Greg would often talk about he and Skye's relationship fondly online. Even as late as 2010 (the year he divorced her), when Greg was asked "At what point did you realize that Skye was the one you wanted to spend your life with???" he responded "When I realized her morals and interests were almost identical to mine… and that she loved me more than any girl I ever met… even when I’m being annoying or rude… she loves me… as I do her." Now, Greg says he only saw Skye as a friend and describes the marriage as "friends with benefits" or "bros hanging out". He says he was actually in love with his ex Shiree and only married Skye to receive military benefits, such as living off base and not having to live in the dorms. He says he and Skye would watch anime, play video games, and make love, but the making love stopped at the end of the relationship.“

so the patterns of abuse and control continue with the “health pacts.”

“Greg created his Onision YouTube on January 29, 2006. Greg was discharged from the United States Air Force in January 2009. He and Skye lived with Greg's mother for 8 months while they were finding a house. According to Greg, there was an [incident] where Skye was crying and his mother laughed and screamed in her face. He says this was because Skye didn't want help out around the house. After the military, Greg began to seriously pursue a YouTube career. Skye worked out of the house and supported both of them while Greg stayed home and worked on building his YouTube career. When his channel became successful enough to financially support them both, he asked her to quit her job and work for the YouTube channel with him full time. Skye would often act in the Onision Channel skits and appeared in his first viral hit, Banana Song. She would also make appearances in some OnisionSpeaks videos, usually messing around in the background or sitting next to him. Skye also designed some Onision shirts for Greg. Skye was adored by virtually all of Greg's fan base at the time.Skye joined YouTube on February 9, 2008 with her own channel, Tantaga (channel now removed), where she uploaded comedy and blooper videos. The last recorded number of subscribers on the Tantaga channel before its deletion was 13,164. At some point, it seems Skye lost interest in YouTube and would not work with Greg on videos anymore. He says she would lay on the couch all day and watch anime or look at pictures of flowers and dresses on her laptop. Skye later revealed she was suffering from depression. Toward the end of their marriage, the Onision channel became hugely successful. The channel had reached the Top 100 Most Subscribed YouTubers list by 2010.“

so greg was beginning to take off, but his and skye’s relationship was far from perfect, and skye was depressed, probably due to the isolation from her friends and most likely family, and they “divorced” on christmas eve 2010

“On December 24, 2010 Greg announced through his Facebook fanpage that he and Skye had been separated since December 17th. That same day, he uploaded "Greg & Skye Divorced", where he says he and Skye decided to get a divorce because they are not compatible and many other reasons. He says they are still friends and he still loves her. He says he and Skye will still be living together for a while. He says he moved on because he couldn't do it anymore and he hopes she moves on too. He tells his fans to be kind to her and show support because she deserves respect. Many fans were hoping it was a joke, but soon found out it wasn't. As the news spread, it brought mixed emotions to Greg and Skye's fanbase. Most were saddened by the news and some even went as far to say they felt like their own parents were getting a divorce. This news came seemingly out of nowhere to fans, as Greg and Skye seemed to be keeping up the same energy and emotions into their videos as when they first started. Some fans even contacted Greg to tell him he was making a mistake by divorcing Skye. Greg replies in the video "Onision's Divorce Was A Mistake?" saying these fans are ignorant and he did not have a perfect marriage. He says it was sad and draining. On December 25, Greg uploaded the skit video "Demon Possessed Girl" to his main channel. The video featured him, Skye and Cyr. It was the last skit Greg uploaded with Skye. At the end of the skit he asked fans to show Skye love, she could use it due to recent hardships. During this time Greg had his friend Cyr staying at their house. Sometime after Skye had moved out of the home, Greg uploaded the video "She Betrayed Me". In the video he walks around his house as he lists items Skye and her sister have taken from the home. He heavily implies she stole over $2,000 of his items from his home when he was not there. He says he wished she had told him she was going to take items from the home beforehand and that he was still willing the follow the "agreement" they had over living arrangements and monthly payments. Text appears under him, revealing the details. "I agreed to either cover her bills in my home for 2 years, or pay her $1,000 a month for a year outside my home" Greg has since deleted the video. After uploading this video, he uploaded another video showing surveillance footage of Skye and her sister removing items through his front porch. In the video he says he will take legal action. This video has also been deleted.After Skye began receiving harassment due to Greg's videos, he uploaded "Please Leave Skye Alone", where he asked fans to stop leaving hate comments on her channel. Skye says the divorce was sudden and came out of nowhere. Greg states he threatened her with divorce for the first time in June 2010 over an argument about their possessions. He has also stated he asked for one in October and regrets not following through with it at that time. There are two main reasons Greg states as to why he divorced his first wife. One reason is that he was upset that Skye "felt entitled to 50% of his assets". He says he made it clear their relationship was not about material items. He says despite marriage being an asset split in the eyes of the law, he believed they had an agreement that "everything she acquired in her life was hers, and he in his". He says when she wanted their possessions to be split, she was showing greed and he wanted out. The other reason Greg says he divorced Skye was because she "just sat around and browsed the web". He says she began to have problems with motivation and would quit making videos with him in the middle of filming. He also says she once had a "melt down" in-front of him and his mom for no reason.”

so this is where things start to get legally sketchy, he writes HIS OWN DIVORCE AGREEMENT, and follows skye around the house screaming at her to sign it. so it wasn’t legal to begin with because it wasn’t notarized, or written by an actual lawyer, or an actual legal contract in any way, shape, or form, but then he makes skye sign it under duress, making it doubly invalid

“When talking or blogging about his ex-wife, Skye, Greg often posts the divorce contract he created. The contract is dated December 22, 2010. In the contract Greg states that he would let Skye continue to live in his house rent free until December 22, 2011, 1 year. If she moves out, he states he would pay her $1,000 a month. The contract also states, when Skye signs the papers, she forfeits all home ownership rights to Greg. Greg often brings up this contract to prove that Skye ignored her signed agreement to him. He says when she and her sister took items from him home, she stole the signed agreement, although he had already made copies. He says in the end, that made no difference. According to Greg, Skye declined the offer to continue living with him because she was still in love with him and being around him would be too painful for her. (It's worth noting Greg was planning on starting his relationship with Shiloh during this time and shortly after separating from Skye he began living with Shiloh.)According to Skye, after Greg wrote up the contract he demanded her to sign it. "He would proceed to follow me around the house for hours at a time screaming at me that if I really loved him, I would sign the paperwork, Eventually after the endless onslaught, I gave in as my spirit was quite broken." Skye says due Greg forcing her to sign the contract and the fact that it was not proper or notarized, the court determined the contract was null. Skye [pursued] Greg legally for alimony payments. For years Greg has said Skye stole from him by lying about how much money of the Onision business she was entitled to. He says he got scared and settled without stepping into a courthouse.”

this is everything up to the skye era as described by outside sources, my next post will be skye’s testimony of their relationship (if i can find it), if not my next post will be the beginning of the shiloh era.

im sorry this was so fucking long but if you actually read the whole thing sauce me a follow? this is going to be an ongoing project but i just started and appreciate any exposure i can get