You are much shorter in real life.

"OH DEER"

Alastor x Vox's wife!reader

Part 1 - Part 1.5 (You're here!)

You had been at the hotel for a couple weeks now, completely ignoring the news and any form of technology that Vox could find you on, even trying to steer clear from going outside, to begin with after a couple of times trying.

You had bonded a lot with the fellow members of the Hazbin hotel, you and Angel had bonded the most it seemed. Both having worked with the Vees and had romantic and sexual relations with them, it brought you together. Especially when it came to the harder nights the porn star seemed to have because of Valentino. "So...what's your deal?" Husk looked towards you as you looked down at the margarita he had made for you about 12 minutes ago. Attempting to figure out what exactly was going on and why you were here to begin with.

"What? Oh- nothin' much. Trying to wrap my head around this whole.." You waved your hand around in the air. "Redemption thing?" Husk nodded, grabbing his own bottle of whiskey and sighing. "What? You really believe in it?" You shook your head no, giggling a little bit. "No, I've met heaven. They won't let any soul go through anytime soon unless it is someone really important. You would think if souls could be redeemed I wouldn't be here, right?" Husk sensed the slight tension at the mention of heaven. A small smile on your face. "I uh...yeahh..." He let out a small noise and opened his bottle. "Well, why are you here? Alastor got you on a leash?" You sat up at that. Suddenly getting a lot livelier at the mention of the radio demon. "Oh! No, he would never! Uhm...i ran into him on the street, we had a nice talk. He's helping me hide from my ex-husband." Husk deadpanned, pointing his bottle at you. "What?" You lifted your glass up and chuckled a bit behind it, rolling your eyes. "I seem to get that answer a lot...I ran into him after me and my husband had gotten into a huge fight. Luckily enough he is one of the many people Vox can't touch! So here I am..!" You laughed nervously. Watching as Husk got more and more confused. "You were married to Vox? as in the overlord Vox?" You deadpanned, running a hand through your hair as your smile dropped. "Well he wasn't 'Vox, head of Voxtech' when I married him! We go way back to the living world." He slowly nodded. "Is he uh....treatin you well then?" Husk took a sip of his whiskey, leaning against the table. "Oh! He's been a complete sweetie to me! Making me snacks, even getting me some new clothes from Cannibal Town!" Your cheeks grew more and more colorful as you spoke about the overlord. Take a flustered sip from your drink. "You don't-" You took a loud sip from the drink. Your face continued to get red as he stared at you. "You do!?" "Listen, its just a small thing! It ain't going anywhere...Just...having a couple dinners with the fella.." Husk rubbed his face. A shameful look on your face. "What! He's the only guy who's actually treated me like a girl and not something to wife up! Can't blame a girl can ya?" Husk nodded. "Yes, yes I can blame you." "Really? Is it that bad for me to have a small thing for Mr. Strawberryhead?" Husk sighed, rolling his eyes with a mumble. "Well, it's not horrible? I mean, just fair warning he is a horrible person." You waved your hand, putting down your drink. "Eh, I've married worse. Believe me, vox was nothing more than an obsessive drunk who can't handle being told no. As long as he doesn't force me into anything I hate, then we are good! Or hit me." Husk stared at you baffled, a horrified expression on his face. "What? Is that bad!?" Husk nodded quickly. Grabbing your drink and refilling it. "Yes! That's- That is below the bare minimum Y/n! Cmon girl, you need to think about standards- Cmon, your standards are to not date a rapist or an abuser! That's- oh god angel has better standards." You slumped a bit. "Y/n, dear! I made some fruit salad, would you like some?" Alastors voice boomed throughout the bar room, making you perk up and look towards the fellow. "Coming Alastor!" You stood up, grabbing the margarita with a smile as you looked at Husk. "Uh..." He looked towards Alastor with a growl. "Thank you...Husk. I'll think more about what I want, how about that?" The cat demon nodded slowly, turning around and cleaning out a cup or two.

Musical-loving Americana Cannibals AND the cesspit angel getting his comeuppance? Why thank you!

SPOILERS for Hazbin Hotel Ep. 7-8

What I suspected with Lucifer’s reaction was true; most demons just don’t know exorcist features well enough to recognize an angel without wings.

Also, I have wondered because Vaggie and Carmilla look similar - is Carmilla also an angel? Her eyes and facial features especially made me wonder, and may explain her gathering up of weapons and refusal to start a war.

It was cool to see these two have another duet, this time face-to-face. It matched the theme of protecting who they loved, and without being a reprise!

And now… the big stuff!

Alastor unhinged! Loved his lack of voice when his cane broke, and his reaction. But ooooh boy, I really fear for Charlie with his meltdown. Her favor’s going to be devastating with how Alastor is taking his almost death. Also due to a note below, maybe he isn’t owned by Lilith after all.

Imagine still arguing 10,000 years later over your ex-wife (and maybe ex-wife to both?). Love the little white auras around them.

Short Duck Daddy better make good on all the caviar mountains promised! All the revamps and coverage is about to make this place lit.

Why???

Oh.

Because.

Congrats, Sir Pentious! An excellent run as a lovable, ascended extra. I hope we get more of him though!

I mean, I’m hoping between seasons this is reported on like crazy. The hotel took on Heaven, sent them packing, got a giant update, AND Charlie’s redemption theory is true?! What sinner wouldn’t want that?

A few interesting implications so far:

A sinner can only go to Heaven upon a death in Hell, aka judgement only occurs at death. This makes it analogous to the situation people on Earth face.

Death via a noble cause is what grants you entrance to Heaven. This could be another way some questionable people end up there

Angels and demons may be the same race, only affected by the respective environment in terms of powers. Sir Pentious has very minor changes when we see him redeemed.

Death in the afterlife is not the end if you now qualify for the opposite team?! A crazy loophole if this is true.

Who is excited to see Adam, who died, rejudged to Hell since he died again? Bonus points if he is in the hotel or cavorting with the BIG baddies in Season 2.

And Emily is the cutest thing ahshsjaisd

This will be fun to see progress. I wonder if we’ll get to see God or a big good in this series. Also, maybe Emily is Eve? Idk there’s so many possibilities and we really could have had 20 more episodes.

Finally, Adam had a deal with…

Lilith?! And Lute’s going to be first in command of the exorcists now.

Also, we don’t actually know where this lovely beach is. It feels to me like a private beach, in-between Heaven and Hell, tucked away in an inconspicuous corner that was always there.

So, did Lilith leave Lucifer for Adam? Maybe she decided that our depressed duck demon was too much and at least gritting her teeth and being by Adam’s side was productive? I expected Lilith to show up, but not with Lute knowing about a deal she made.

Now to hunker down and await Season 2! Vivienne and Co., it’s been an honor to analyze and theorize with all the fun goodies. Thank you for making this dream come true and sharing it!

just imagine a scenario where Lilith goes down to hell and goes to the hotel and that’s how everyone finds out that 1) she’s a tiny bit evil 2) Alastor made a deal with her.

Just picture it. Alastor is sitting around with everyone and suddenly a chain (I think it was orange) just starts manifesting around his neck, he feels the weight of it and the slight pull that’s dragging him. Then he turns around and Lilith walks through the door.

his smile never fades but his eyes show just how scared he is, worried of what’s to come. Lucifer is just shocked because this powerful demon made a deal with his ex wife, and also why would Lilith be making deals? She’s supposed to be the good one.

YES YES YES!!!

If it IS Lilith, I think the reveal is going to be so so badass.

Especially because no one at the Hotel will expect it. No one knows where Lilith went- no one thought she was in Heaven, no one thought she was the one pulling all the strings.

UGH I cannot wait for season 2

HAZBIN HOTEL THEORY W SPOILERSISH

Firmly believe that Eve and Lilith switched places, Consensually. We've all seen how Adam is about women in general and how trash he is, plus how Lucifer has obviously been in a funk/depression for a LONG time as even Charlie could remember even as a small child that he wasn't feeling okay.

Now I don't think they did it to be malicious or as some manipulative scheme, but instead as two strong women who have spent their entire lives managing or taking care of the men they are around, and when they met again realized that the other's place is what they needed, even if just for a little while.

Eve being in Hell allows her to be free and not having someone belittle/talk down to her as she finds what makes her truly happy without limits and Lilith in Heaven gives her peace and to take care of herself. As someone who's had burnout of taking care of someone you love for so long, it takes a toll and they switched places to help themselves heal/get better to be better for those who need them.

Now, Alastor. I believe that Lilith made a deal with Alastor like many have theorized but instead of him hanging around Lilith I believe that she had him be around Eve as she took Lilith's place as someone who could be a guide in Hell while figuring herself out. I also do not think Adam or Charlie are aware of this arrangement between Eve and Lilith as I don't see Lilith as a mother who would abandon her child for her own selfish needs, and instead did it when Charlie began leaving their home and doing her own things in Hell.

Now, with a comment that Lucifer told Adam at the Finale I'm inclined to believe that Lucifer does know his wife and Eve traded places, but doesn't know it was because she needed a break from his Depression. But, I do think she is going to be very happy to see that her husband is doing much better with a better relationship with their daughter and that Lilith only kept Charlie at a certain distance from Lucifer cause she didn't want Charlie to see how bad his depression made him or make her feel like she had to stay around in obligation to help them, wanting her daughter to feel free to do what she wanted.

Obviously, a theory and nothing confirmed, but I can't see the creator making Eve or Lilith crappy characters, especially how everyone was upset that Stolas's (ex)wife became such a simple hated character, someone who just seemed to make it feel okay how Stolas treated others and support his relationship with Blitz. I can't wait to see what actually happens with the characters though, especially with how it ended and I encourage everyone to go watch and support Hazbin Hotel finally making their way to streaming!

Meet Aine (pronounced "anya" it's irish) Fae. Aka Annie. Fiadh and Alastor's daughter.

Fiadh had been (very early stages) Pregnant when she died and SOMEHOW this carried over to death (Probably due to being a cambion). So Annie was born in Hell, and Primarily raised by Fiadh and Fiadh's Father Furfur.

When Alastor arrives in Hell he doesn't know his wife is down there OR that she had his child.

But once he figured out Fiadh was his Fianait, he was delighted, though he was going to play the "how long before my ex-detective wife realizes it's me" game until she mentioned she had a daughter, and revealed it somehow was her husbands from when she was alive.

Alastor immediately came clean ( with proof) and met his daughter. He hadn't really wanted kids when he was alive, and considered it a social expectation like marriage that he figured would just happen. And men weren't really expected to be included in Child-rearing.

But in his eyes (especially as a child) Annie looked just like her mother and Alastor couldn't help but spoil her. As she grew he and Fiadh agree'd she actually ended up looking more like Alastor's mother, well as much as she could with her demonic form.

She adores her family From her Mother and Father to her 'Aunt' Rosie and Grampa Furfur.

Personality wise... She is 100% Alastor's daughter. A bit full of herself (she was very spoiled as a child), and always wanting to be the center of attention. She loves music and dance and all good food.

Temperament-wise she's more like Fiadh, she has a very long fuse and it takes a lot to rile her up (unless you're a bigot, then she smiles as she shows you your heart). And she doesn't mind Modern tech or styles (probably one of the few demons in hell who can wear more modern clothes in Cannibal colony)

She knows multiple languages: Gaelic-Irish, french-Creole, and the Demonic language of Hell, though her accent leans more British sounding like most Arse Goetia, sometimes the way she pronounces words sounds more Irish or Trans-Atalantic.

Annie spends weekends gardening with her mother. She doesn't really have a "Job" since her Grandfather's an Earl, but she will occasionally do a performance at her Auntie Mimzie's speakeasy. Occasionally you can find her bonding with Alastor, which is Al and Annie for "Let's go murdering for fun and cook it later". Because she's TECHNICALLY more human her Fire powers and noble demonic powers are weaker than her mother's. She seemingly has some control over Flora and Funga like her mother and Shadow and Radiowaves like her father but they are weaker than her parents as she doesn't really go around making deals to make herself more powerful. She plans to someday but she's young and knows she has nothing but time.

To this day Alastor calls her "Petite Fleur" meaning "little Flower". This stems off his nickname for her mother "Mon Fleur". He has of nicknames that branch off from Nicknames for Fiadh, Example, "Pumpkin" becomes "Pumpkin Pie". Furfur refers to both her and her mother as "Little Fawn" and "My Little Fawn". While Fiadh often just calls her "Wee One".

Though Occasionally Fiadh and Alastor mix French and Irish and she ends up being called "Wee Fluer". Which is often what she's called to the point where some people in Cannibal Colony think her names "Fleur".

Aine Fae was obviously named by her mother, but 'Annie' was all her father's doing. And the pair ADORE the play Annie.

Annie has wings... But only in her full demon form. She has a wand to help channel her powers. While Fiadh's is a honey wand, Annie's looks like a stick (like her 'antlers'). Annie's very 'Proper' in how she refers to her parents using mostly "Mother" and "Father" though if Alastor's ignoring her she slowly disovled from "Father" to "Dad" to "OLD MAN". And if for some reason her mother isn't responding its "Mother" "Mom" and "Mama". She's a Mama's girl (and Al isn't even jealous as a Mama's Boy he gets it).

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

EHEHEHEHEHEallofyourocsHEHEHEHEHEHE

Oh good lord.....

Aella: okay this woman let's it explode quicker than mount vesuvius. If she gets mad she'll start yelling right away. But generally it's hard to make her mad, unless you're her ex, or blitzø who just let her kid play with knives.

Aponi: she lets it boil. Oh God does she let it boil. She'll get mad but then won't tell you (she's me fr). But the longer it boils the more she gets angry at small things, like alastor not saying goodbye or something. Then she'll just explode, tears in her eyes and a quivering voice as she yells. (You may even get a sneak peak at her full demon form)

Cordelia: she's a mix of both. If Chaz is being an asshole she leaves it alone until he does it again and again and again. Then she'll explode like crazy. But if you mess up anything in her house she will snap so fast and yell right at you, cussing you out in Scottish.

Roxxie: generally it's hard to make her angry, she never really gets mad. But she does let it fester and boil. But it only ever spills out in tears at night in her bed.. verosika found her crying in her room alone once and never let her do it again.

Furcalor: oh God does this woman have a temper, especially when it comes to men. She'll explode right away, putting you in your place before she goes to destroy a ship in the human world.

Ella: ella is a very kind and forgiving person, so yeah she'll get angry, but if you apologize fairly quickly, then she's fine. BUT. insult her family/friends, she will dislocated all of your bones slowly and painfully as she looks on with an angry smile.

Mia: ehhhh she doesn't have a temper. I mean yeah she gets angry but she's pretty chill when it comes to people who are assholes, she just ignores them. Unless they insult her family.

Eli: thus man is so fucking laid back. (unless he's dealing with canon alistar) he doesn't get angry. And if he does it'll fester inside of his wife more than him.

Loreley: you know who her father is. She has such a temper. Do not tick her off, she will burn you to the ground and then stomp on your ashes. (Low key terrifying when she's ANGRY angry)

Alistar: he has a such a bad temper. Gets it from his dad.. he's working on it.. he doesn't like to shout or get angry,, it gives him flashbacks. So now he just let's it boil until he can rant it out to Rosa as she runs her fingers through his hair.

Rosalyn: oh God does she have a temper. You say something about her family?? Blows up like the battlefield of world War 1. She is an angry Spanish woman. She WILL get the chancla.

Deena: this woman lelet'it boil so hard.. she let the death of her sister boil so much that she kills every rapist she finds.so yeah. She has a temper.

Alruna: she's pretty laid back and usually doesn't get angry unless her friends are in danger. She'd do anything to defend them.

Clare: yes. She has a really bad temper actually. Piss her off and she'll down a pint of beer before taking out her sword and challenging you all because you said you didn't like the ocean.

Jacob: he's like 90% of Clarissa's impulse control, so no, he doesn't have much of a temper unless it comes to his family.

Carol: she let's it boil, but never explodes. She's lived in fear half her life. She can't risk that.

John: FUCK. YES.

Alison: Oh yes. Yes yes yes. She and alistar will literally start a fight over a bean.

Eathan: he tries not to get angry. he really does. He's pretty laid back, but if you insult anything about him or his new son and daughter, he will find where you live.

Hope: like father like daughter

Isaac: he is hope's impulse control. The job requires a lot of patience.

Caspian: HAH. yes.

Hi, can you please write sfw headcanons for Sir Pentious, Husk, and Alastor with pregnant s/o? I really like your work and wish you good luck with the blog :)

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this as much as my past works.

Sir Pentious

When he was alive, Sir Pent had a son. Where his son is now, he has no idea, but he's super excited to be a father again.

This being said though, remember that his son still holds a special place in his heart, even if he isn't there to be part of your little family.

He is very doting while you're pregnant, especially during your third trimester. He always makes sure he's around to get things for you and help you around your home. If he isn't there, he's firmly instructed his egg bois to make sure you're comfortable and got whatever you wanted and/or needed.

It's around this time that he calmed down on the hostile takeovers. He couldn't be wasting time fighting Cherri when you needed him at home.

He built almost everything you needed for the baby. Why waste money on something he could make with things he already had?

He built the crib, the play pen, the toy chest and is even working on a baby walker with a mini ray gun attached so they can be just like daddy. Modifications will be made to the walker if the baby ends up with a snake body like his own.

He even made some toys from broken inventions and left-over materials he had laying around.

He loves touching your belly, waiting for those small kicks that get him all excited to see one of his greatest creations. He was kicked in the face once though, so he doesn't rest his head on your belly anymore.

He's extra protective of you while you're pregnant too. He doesn't like the idea of you going out while so obviously pregnant, worried that another demon will target you when you're unable to defend yourself as well as you usually would be able to.

So, if you really want to go out, he'll escort you to where you want to go and then take you home.

Now, he already tends to sleep with you in his arms but now that you're pregnant and his protectiveness has more than tripled, he'll coil himself around you in his sleep- so it's something he does unconsciously.

You often have to slowly peel him off you when you get too hot or have to pee.

All in all, he's a very excited demon- soon to be daddy.

Husk

Husk is an absolute nervous wreck. When he found out you were pregnant, he started drinking a hell of a lot more than he already did. He had a few people wondering why he was suddenly, almost literally, drowning himself in his liquor.

This went on for the first few weeks until you had a deep conversation with him about the issue. About whether or not he wanted a kid.

Of course, he doesn't want a fucking kid. Are you fucking crazy? He was a grumpy old man with a gambling problem, drinking problem and Alastor problem! How could he possibly want a kid?!

But he'll tell you to keep it all the same. If you want it, then he'll be a father to it.

The drinking continued on a little while longer but after that, he toned it back down to where he was before, calming down over the whole matter.

It picked up again when Alastor found out you were pregnant though. He was the one Husk was trying to keep it from the most. But- he was the only one in the hotel who knew the two of you were together so of course he found out.

Once again, he calmed down, now that you were in your second trimester. He became used to the idea of becoming a father and was even beginning to look forward to it a little. This being said, he cut back on the drinking even more and same went for the gambling. Instead of spending his winnings on more games, he brought it home to support you.

Believe it or not, Alastor was actually a little bit helpful. not very, but a little. He agreed to lending a shadow to you to keep an eye on you when no one else could.

Husk was doing a good job on keeping things on the downlow and would take you out to find some baby clothes, toys and such.

That's how Angel Dust found out, not only about your existence, but about the pregnancy too.

"Oh my god, Husk, you gotta broad pregnant?!"

"Hey! That's my fucking wife you're talking about!"

Yeah, it wasn't the neatest moment, but it happened and now everyone knows. Thanks Angel.

He's relatively calm throughout the rest of the pregnancy though, only having the occasional freak out based on whether or not he was ready to be a father.

He becomes super soft when he feels the baby kick for the first time. That's how he knew it would be okay in the end.

As long as Alastor didn't touch his fucking kid. (He's so gonna touch it.)

Alastor

"Alastor, I'm pregnant."

"... OH."

Alastor doesn't what to do with himself- not that he shows it of course.

He actually wasn't the first person you told- you told Charlie and Vaggie to see what they thought you should do.

They weren't any help, so you ended up just straight up telling Alastor- who had no idea how to take the news.

He was kind of hoping you were joking to be honest because how the hell was he supposed to be a father?!

"Oh?"

"That's wonderful news my dear!"

You weren't buying it but let him go to figure out what to do with the newfound news.

Al doesn't allow other people to see, but deep inside, he is a wreck. How does an ex serial killer turned overlord in hell, be a decent parent?

He turns to his books for help, looking for an answer they couldn't really give him.

As time ticked by, he becomes a little more used to the idea, but it still tends to startle him every now and then when he sees you with your round belly in all its glory.

Had it always been that big?

Alastor isn't a kid person. He doesn't hate them and is willing to raise one until it can take care of itself, but this is very different.

He was a little alarmed when you raced over to him, demanding that he place his clawed hand on your belly. He did as you asked however, only to recoil in shock when he felt a kick, staring at your stomach with wide eyes.

So, throughout majority of the pregnancy, you're dealing with an uneasy Alastor who only really starts to relax towards the end, seemingly coming to completely accept the fact that he was going to be a father.

It was around that time that he also used his powers to set up a nursery for the baby in your home.

It turned out a-okay in the end, even if the child still secretly scares the crap out of him at times.

Perhaps it's a little unorthodox, but now I'm genuinely curious after reading A Cold Day in Hell - what would have happened if Alastor stayed with Sir Pentious? What if Sir Pentious actually took over Hell (or at least staked a large enough claim in it)? Would their dynamic have changed at all?

They probably would have remained much the same in terms of the basic dynamic—Sir Pentious as the one with the ambitions, and therefore the one who makes the Evil Plots And Schemes, and Alastor as the one serving gleefully as his attack dog. (... Attack deer?)

The main change would be in the intensity/solidity of their relationship. Up until the point where everything went to hell (... so to speak) in CDIH, Sir Pent had viewed Alastor as an ally. An ally he would very much like to be something more with, but still just an ally. There’s only so far you can trust an ally and so much you can do with an ally. If things hadn’t broken down right then, though, they would have shifted in Sir Pent’s mind from being allies to being partners—the difference in the dynamic between two allies versus two partners like the difference in the dynamic between Queen of England & King of France versus Queen Regnant of England & Prince Consort of England. A partner, you can trust many more things to—both professional tasks and personal secrets—and you can bring into the heart of your operation rather than just bringing along on one-off tasks and activities.

So that would have marked the beginning of Alastor shifting from working with Sir Pent being Alastor’s occasional side gig to being like a full-time job.

Because, without someone else giving him something to do, I don’t see Alastor as a terribly ambitious person—at least not ambitious in a way that easily shapes life goals for him.

When Sir Pent was alive, his long term to-do list looked like “take over the county; take over the country; take over the world,” whereas Alastor’s long term to-do list looked like “make trip up to Harlem to check out music & dance scene; finally wheedle Ma into sharing the secret ingredient in her remoulade; make time for another murder.” Alastor’s got more private/personal activities than high career-shaping ambitions. That remains true of his life in hell; except that, unlike when he was alive, he doesn’t have the must get a job to make money to buy food to stay alive pressure on him to sculpt his day-to-day existence, so in the end he’s just... got too much time on his hands to fill, because he’s got very few ambitions he can’t fulfill within two weeks of picking them up.

So in essence, serving as Sir Pent’s right hand monster becomes his day job and Sir Pent’s ambitions are sort of adopted as Alastor’s ambitions.

And besides that closer tie in their partnership, they’d also have an increase in personal intimacy. Sir Pent might tell Alastor about his childhood and more family members than just his estranged ex-wife & child. Alastor might actually share his last name—hold your applause. Sir Pent would certainly be the first person Alastor tells that he’s the mysterious never-identified serial killer that plagued Louisiana in the 20s/30s, which he still keeps secret at this point not because he needs to but because he enjoys the mystique and mystery surrounding the whole thing. (Sir Pent’s like “literally never heard of this serial killer but rest assured that if I had, you would have been my first and only suspect.”) They might even start talking about their fears and insecurities. Imagine that.

That’s all, like, generally how things would go between them during the lead up to successfully taking over hell. If/when they actually manage it, that’d prompt another shift in their dynamic, since “conquering a gigantic nation” and “governing a gigantic nation” are two very different activities.

Up to now Sir Pent’s priorities/developed skillsets have pretty much been weaponry, engineering, and military strategy, while Alastor’s been combat/field tactics with a smattering of diplomacy mixed in (somebody has to help woo more allies over to the cause, and Alastor’s got the kind of charisma Sir Pent can only dream of). Now they’re in charge and suddenly they’ve gotta figure out politics, Sir Pent especially. Politics and, like, managing tax rates and infrastructure and shit.

(Are there taxes in Hell? I don’t know what’s more hellish, “you still have to pay taxes even though you’re dead” or “there are no government-funded programs or institutions in place at all.” Maybe the most hellish is “you have to pay taxes but like the government doesn’t spend them on anything, it just keeps all the taxes. just sets the money on fire.” That seems like a thing Hell would do.)

So while Sir Pent’s dealing with figuring out how to rule, Alastor’s more or less got to take over the military side of things (because of course there’s gonna be a ton of attempted uprisings—there’s new fragile leadership in place and Hell is full of assholes), and he’d also probably serve more or less as the public face of the new regime, issuing proclamations and announcements and stuff. (Sir Pent gifts Alastor a shiny new radio station set up in a wing of the palace. Alastor swoons.) And, of course, once things settle down and their rule here is secure, they’ve got to set sights on the next goal: conquering Heaven.

So their interpersonal/relationship dynamic would prob be about the same; but, their business dynamic would shift—although you’d still have Sir Pent as the one in charge.

Overall, I feel like the relationship would have a bigger effect on who Alastor is than on who Sir Pent is. Like, it’s very possible that Sir Pent wouldn’t be able to conquer hell without Alastor’s assistance—but at the end of the process Sir Pent is basically the same dude with the same goals and ideals. The main difference is he’s reached those goals, and like, also learned to appreciate jazz music.

Alastor, on the other hand, is picking up a new job in a new field that’s never really interested him before—conquest and politics—and getting all involved in as much of Sir Pent’s operation as he’s asked to be, which means learning a whole load of new skills and information; and in the process he more or less leaves behind the sometimes-helpful sometimes-treacherous wandering massacre vagabond thing he’s currently got going on. He’s focused. He’s got a job. He’s got commitments. He’s got life goals, and like the life goals are “help out this other dude’s life goals” but like that’s more than he had before. He actually cares about another person. It’s a BIG life shift for him.