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paininanime · 4 years

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Naruto Classic Whumplist Seasons 1-5

Naruto Classic Whumplist Seasons 6-9

Characters mentioned:

Naruto

Sasuke

Kakashi

Rock Lee

Neji

Gaara

Kiba

Minor mentions:

Shikamaru

Shino

Choji

Iruka

Kabuto

Itachi

Jiraiya

Kimimaro

Genma and Reido

Kurenai and Asuma

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1x1 | Iruka gets slashed a bit by flying knives (one in the leg) and stabbed in the back protecting young Naruto (+blood drizzle at the mouth and emotional whump) Later in episode he is seen very roughed up and tired (kind of trembling) and pained

1x6 | Naruto stabs himself in the hand to extract venom he obtained during a fight and a scratch (it heals due to kuruma)

1x8 | Naruto and Sasuke get beat up vs. Zabuza

1x9 | Kakashi acts fine, but then passes out due to overuse of his sharingan.

1x15 | Fight against Haku. Sasuke and Naruto get very roughed up, Naruto falls hard many times. In the end they both get pierced by needles thrown by Haku amd scream out in pain.

1x16 | Naruto and Sasuke get pierced multpiple times, they are in a lot of pain, wincing etc. Sasuke fights and protects Naruto despite his injuries. Naruto passes out twice due to pain and overuse if his chakra. Kakashi gets slashed across the chest protecting Sakura and Tanzen from Zabuza (on purpose tho). Sasuke protects Naruto further. He collapses fatally injured into Narutos arms and "dies".

1x22 | Sasuke gets beat by Rock Lee in their first "fight". Sakura has to catch him mid air, otherwise he would have fallen hard.

2x2 | Sasuke and Sakura get overpowered by the sheer bloodlust of a chunen exam competitor. Sasuke trows up, they are shaking violently from the visions. They can barely move. Naruto gets eaten by a snake but is "fine". Sasuke stabs himself in the leg to break free from the trance. He is in a lot of pain and panting. He is very shaken up, as Sakura also points out.

2x3 | Naruto punches Sasuke so hard that blood spatters (he's fine). Naruto gets slammed/crashes through thick branches twice and "passes out". Naruto is very battered and saves Sasuke. "Orochimaru" does something with Narutos seal who then passes out. He gets literally thrown away and would have fallen to the ground if Sakura hadn't secured him with a shuriken. He is completely unconscious.

2x4 | Sasuke "beats" the enemy, but is exhausted and panting heavily. He then gets bitten by Orochimaru, and is screaming in pain and collapses screaming. Sakura cradles the agonized Sasuke in her arms. Naruto is still lights out. Later N and S are seen lying unconscious next to eachother. Sakura mentions how Sasuke seems to be breathing more easily now, but has a fever.

2x5 | Sasuke is seen still uncounscious, breathes difficultly and shivers. Sakura takes care of them. Both N and S are seen with a strained look. Lee fights for Sakura and uses the forbidden Lotus-Jutsu, that strains his muscles a lot. The enemy outsmarts him, and attacks with sound which plays with his already fatigued body and vision.

2x6 | Lee starts bleeding out of his ears because of the sound waves. His vision is blurry, he is in a lot of pain and throws up. He tries to save Sakura again and busts a move but because of the sound messing with his balance it doesnt work. He passes out. He is later on the ground very roughed up and passes out again.

2x7 | Sasuke collapses on his butt after Sakura makes him change back. He is very shaken up and his hand is shaking violently.

2x10 | Sasuke collapses screaming in Pain from Orochimarus mark whilst using his last chakra for Sharingan. Kabuto gets slashed in the shoulder saving a pain-paralysed Sasuke. Kabuto gets stashed in the leg (knee) saving Naruto from a knive. Kabuto gets slashed over the nosebridge from an attack from behind. Sakura supports Sasuke when arriving at the tower.

CHUNIN EXAMS WHUMP

2x12 | Sasuke fights Yoroi even tho he is weakened by O's mark.

2x13 | Sasukes chakra gets slowly stolen by Yoroi, he can barely move, but gets free. He stumbles a lot. His mark activates itself and he spits some blood. He almost passes out but Kakashi aka mr. Smooth appears behind him and supports him with his knee. A lot of heavy breathing and panting. He grips his shoulder in pain and makes that "ugn" sound. Kakashi later seals the curse in Sasukes shoulder, which is extremely painful (he screams) and then passes out (also from fatigue). + ep.14 Nice shots of passed out Sasuke and emotional past from Shinos enemy Zaku in the exam

2x18 | Naruto gets hit by Kiba's Jutsu and lands hard, he spits out some blood and rolls onto his bloodied face. + 2x19 He gets scratched by Kiba thrice and it bleeds and splatters quite a bit / Kiba carried away by stretcher

2x22 | Lee fights Gaara. One short moment where he does his badass lotus attack against Gaara and utters a pained noise and closes his eyes in pain throwing his head back.

2x23 | As also explained by Kakashi, Lee is in so much pain after the Lotus that he can't evade Gaaras attacks and gets thrown around harddd. Once (in background) he gets slammed with sand and screams.

🩸 2x24 | Lee sacrifces everything to win against Gaara: that includes his body. By opening the chakra doors he exposes his body to enourmous emounts of energy. - after badass fight- He collapses to the ground. Gaara then uses his sand-powers to crush Lees left leg and arm. He screams in agony and loses conciousness, Guy Sensei stepping in just in time. Lees body is completetly destroyed.. but he gets up, unconsciously, out of pure will to prove himself. Bloody arm and leg, dull eyes. Later, when the infirmary gets him, they tell Guy Sensei that Lees body has suffered fatal damage, especially his arm and leg.

2x25 | Sasuke is seen in a hospital bed unconscious and attached to many tubes etc. He is attacked by Kabuto but Kakashi is there.

---

3x3 | Naruto collapses during training after purposely using up his chakra. The still injured Lee collapses after doing 199 pushups.

3x4 | Nice shot of Naruto collapsing backward during Training "again", as Jiraiya says.

3x5 | Naruto passes out and falls down out of fatigue after being thrown around by Gama on his back, to prove he's worthy of being his companion and master. Gama catches him tho and delivers him directly to the hospital. Naruto is like: 😌

3x6 | Cute shot of Naruto sleeping in hospital bed.

3x10 | Naruto gets beat up good by Neji, specifically around the 7 min mark he begins to show much pain, coughing etc. Later there are close ups of his hands and specifically nails which are broken and bleeding from digging a hole to defeat Neji. Neji has taken a lot of damage from Narutos attack and can't move on the ground.

3x11 | Cute shots of roughed up Neji at the hospital.

3x15 | Sasuke gets gripped by Gaaras ghost arm thing in the cockoon and screams and tries to pull out his arm. He holds it in pain. Gaaras shoulder, injured by Sasuke, is bleeding, he is holding it.

3x16 | Gaara collapses to his knees grunting in pain and grasping his head.

3x18 | Cute visuals of a worn out Shikamaru. Still drained after his battle with Temari and extra annoyed.

(Gaara and Naruto battle whump)

4x2 | Kakashi vs. Itachi. @7:58, Kakashi takes a nice, pained breath. Itachi captures him in an allusion and tortures him for three days (multiple stabbings), while irl, only a moment passes. Kakashi is in a lot of pain, falls to the ground. Dark eye bags, strained face. Kakashi passes out and collapses, sinking into the water. MG lifts him out and over his shoulder.

4x4 | Sasukes arm gets broken by Itachi.

4x5 | Sasuke gets kicked by Itachi into a wall. He gets kneed in the face by his brother and again slams into the wall. He gets beaten up badly, and relives his traumatic past with Itachis Jutsu. His screams are heartwrenching and he is completely unable to fight back. He passes out whilst in chokehold... luckily. ;( Post fight Sasuke is seen slumped against the wall, eyes dull, completely unresponsive. According to Jiraiya, he has suffered from terrible psychological trauma, has two broken arms and a few broken ribs. Guy sensei mentions how Kakashi is still unconscious from the same visual jutsu, and they don't know when he will wake up again. Itachi is strained and exhausted after using Amaterasu to escape.

4x6 | Netflix's words: "Deeply hurt mentally and physically, Sasuke is taken back to [Konoha](...)". Cute visual of an unconscious Sasuke on Guy's back.

4x7 | Narutos hands are shaky after weeks of practicing Rasengan. Cute scene of him shivering in his sleep with "bandaged" hands. He has dark eye bags and mentions the pain he is in. (All minor whump)

4x11/12 | Naruto trains very hard. He is roughed up and shaky. Naruto collapses onto one knee and is later seen on the ground, exhausted. Around the 10:30 mark he is seen in his bed, sleeping, his right hand bandaged. Tsunade says he is exhausted and his hand burned by chakra, and will not wake up soon.

4x12 | Jiraiya gets drugged by Tsunade and falls of a chair in the Stew restaurant harddd. (lol) He is later seen sweaty and weak-ish.

4x13 | Jiraiya stumbles due to the drug still in his system when trying to stop Naruto from attacking Kabuto. Naruto gets blood splattered in his eyes by Kabuto.

🩸 4x14 | Naruto gets eaten by a snake but gets out, but, according to Kabuto, has hurt his leg in the process. He gets beat up by Kabuto very badly and is in a lot of pain, but gets up everytime he is on the ground. He also gets stabbed through the hand.

🩸 4x15 | Netflix's words: "Naruto is seriously injured by Kabuto and hovers on the verge of death". Naruto used his Rasengan, but his body was already messed up. Kabuto has cut his heartmuscle.. He spits blood and passes out (beautifully, I might add) backwards. He is seen on the ground unconscious wincing and shivering, blood in the corners if his mouth and dirty. Tsunade notices his irregular puls.

4x16 | Everyone is pretty injured. Jiraiya winces and says his ribs and feet are injured.

4x25 | Sasuke gets angry at Aoi and attacks him in a surge of rage. He gets electrocuted by the thundersword and gets thrown onto the broken bridge, where he stays down, unconscious.

5x3 | Sasuke gets beat up good by Orochimarus gang. He is quite roughed up.

5x5 | Genma and Reido come across Orochimarus gang, but get beaten in battle. They are both critically injured and Genma speaks weakily (coughing).

5x6 | The bois get stuck in a Kekkai. They are all roughed up. Also, Shikamaru looking drained af: (6:54, 9:30, 10:46, 12:57). Their chakra is being drained, so all of them are a bit.. down.

5x8 | Choji is comepletely exhausted and heavily injured after his fight with Jirobo, also due to him consuming those three pills. He stumbles through the woods, vision blurry, and finally collapses against the tree with the markings from Shikamaru and co. He passes out.

5x10 | Neji vs Kidomaru. Neji does very well until he is slashed in the shoulder and then stabbed in the back by three kunais. He collapses face down. He gets back up, but after a final blow gets stabbed again multiple times, collapses again. Gets up a third time. Heavy breathing. He kind of just stands there, breathing, looking at nothing.

🩸5x11 | Neji is completely out of breath. The arrow from Kidomaru went, luckily, through his shoulder. The wound is extremely painful and smoking, and see-through. Blood comes pouring down his arm. He agains collapses face first. He is extremely weak and in a lot pf pain. His chakra is quickly draining due to the barrier he has created around him. He starts running, ripping put the kunais from his back and pressing on his shoulder wound. The next arrow hits his cheeck and slices it. The last arrow goes straight through his abdomen. He starts one last attack, runs, holding his abdominal wound. In the end Neji is on the ground and finally succumbs to the darkness. ;(

5x14 | Kiba stabs himself in the gut (20:40) in order not to be merged with Ukon.

5x15 | Kiba bleeds a lot and screams out in pain. Heavy breathing and sweating. He stabs himself a second time and doesn't look okay ;( He shivers and has blood at both his mouthcorners. We can see him bleeding excessively. (18:00) He tries to get up, but falls back down, admitting that he is dizzy because of the pain and bloodloss, he can't move. He looks very ill.

5x16 | Netflix's words: "An injured Kiba and Akamaru barely escape from Sakon and Ukon." Shikamaru breaks the tip of his finger to break out of a hallucination.

5x17 | Netflix's words: "Kiba tends to Akamaru and his own wounds." 2:19, Shimakarus broken finger is being pulled by his shadow, it makes cracking noises and he utters a pained "ughn >:[]". (3:10 strained, Roughed up S)(12:00 Genma sitting awake but weak-ish in Hospital bed.)

5x18 | 6:15, Kiba gets put of the water and holds his bleeding wound. 16:55, he is leaning against a tree, unable to move out of exhaustion, scared out of his mind. Lee gets slashed in multiple locations by Kimimaros bones, 18:20, saved by Gaara, Shikamaru is getting tired.

5x19 | 18:09, Shikamaru fixes his finger a bit, the bones crackle and he utters an "ittee".

5x20 | Gaara saves a hurt Lee, who runs to fight, but after Gaara stops him winces in pain.

5x21 | Lee gets hit by Kimimaro, and flies. He lands hard and realizes that his body is not in the ideal shape. Kimimaro coughs blood thrice. 17:35, Gaara is exhausted by his use of chakra, he stems his hand on his sand and says that he is done. Sweaty.

5x22 | Naruto vs. Sasuke 2: Sasuke punches Naruto hard in the ribs, he spits blood, you can hear bones crunching. Also hard kick in the face.

5x24 | Netflix's words: "Naruto is brought down by Sasukes fireball jutsu."

5x25 | Naruto is again punched hard in the gut, bones crunching, slams into water below. He sinks and does that nice "drowning breath out" thing. 19:07, Naruto laying at the bottom of the river. Comes up, coughs.

5x26 | Naruto sinking. Sasuke "empales" Naruto through the shoulder with his chidori. Nice blood dripping of shoulder scene. It heals tho.

5x27 | Naruto gets his head slammed into the ground by Sasuke. Later, Naruto punches Sasuke in the face hard in his fox form, and Sasuke is in a lot of pain, holding his nose. He recovers quickly tho.

5x28 | Both Sasuke and Naruto’s bodies are feeling the consequences of their transformation, Naruto mentioning that his arm feels numb and it just kinda hangs there. Later, their Chakra blast leaves Naruto unconscious. (N+S rain scene). Kakashi later finds him and picks up the completely limp boy, bridal style. Later we get a short scene of a half conscious Naruto on Kakashis back, opening his eyes a little. Sasuke is also very injured by his mark and the fight, he slowly walks through the rain with that blank look on his face.

5x29 | Naruto awakens on Kakashis back, but he is only half-conscious. He asks with dim eyes where Sasuke is. Passes out again.

-Choji unconscious and attached to many devices etc.

-Cute, Bandaged, Worried Kiba scenes. Flinches in pain. In hospital bed.

-Neji in intense operation, they are closing his gaping shoulder wound. He moves in pain, but doesn't scream. Unconscious.

-Shikamaru crying ;(

-Naruto awake in hospital bed, bandaged from head to toe, dim eyed.

Many cute "mummy-Naruto" scenes.

Naruto Classic Whumplist Season 6-9

#naruto #classic #naruto classic #whumplist #anime whump #shikamaru #neji #rock lee #sasuke #gaara #kiba #injured #pain #blood #chakra #naruto shippuden #anime #whump list #whump

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achieveandhunt · 4 years

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live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much

#extra life 2019 #i’m going for full 24 hours this year #rooster teeth #achievement hunter #jeremy dooley #michael jones #lindsay jones #jack pattillo #geoff ramsey #gavin free #ryan haywood #matt bragg #alfredo diaz #trevor collins #fiona nova #i regret everything in my life that has led to this moment

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happymetalgirl · 4 years

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Deadspace - A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars

I first found out about Deadspace when the band sent me a message about a split album they had just contributed to back in 2017 called Reaching for Silence. Since then, the Australian band have released several new LPs and EPs that I have been fervently covering and mostly very enamored by, especially after a very creatively fruitful spell last year that found the band significantly darkening their already tangibly agonizing DSBM sound in a rather unexpected manner with tremendous results, first on Dirge, then on the Libido Dominandi EP, and then on The Grand Disillusionment. With the band on such an artistic hit streak, naturally I was as gutted as I was excited to see this new album from them to read in the description that this would be their final album. Perhaps the members simply wanted to end Deadspace on a high note, perhaps they’re in need of new endeavors (perhaps catalyzed by the ongoing pandemic’s ravaging of the live music industry), but either way, A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars is an excellent send-off for the band.

The band’s music had shifted from the seething, emotionally vulnerable sorrow of projects like Reaching for Silence and The Liquid Sky to the far more terrifying and oppressive darkness of Dirge and The Grand Disillusionment, and A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars does a fine job of both incorporating the band’s various styles from their earlier and latter eras as well as carrying on their natural artistic progression to a fittingly conclusive destination. The band’s final album manages to retain its demonically fearsome depressive heaviness while channeling the palpable humanness of that darkness, and the union of the two is certainly aided greatly by the more unabashed use of choral and orchestral elements to heighten the grandeur of their music even more than before.

The two-part title song is perhaps the most exemplary portion of the album of the elevation the choir vocals and strings provide to the band’s sound as the band build from somber piano and acoustic guitar into double-bass madness and eventually a huge choral climax that is just absolutely fixating and awe-inspiring.

But this is still a black metal album, a DSBM album, and the band are by no means trying to polish their edges with the inclusion of some classical orchestral instrumentation, rather the opposite. The orchestration serves so prominently to highlight and emphasize the existentialism of the stinging pain of the tortured vocal performances and the cathartic explosions of unbridled distorted guitar dissonance. And this is all made clear within the opening minutes of the album’s first track, “Finale”, whose deeply sardonic bellows and snarls somehow feel perfectly paired with the biblically proportioned blackened symphony of existential darkness. Meanwhile, the second track, “Beg for Death in Absurdum”, takes a newly choir-bolstered approach to their older, more vulnerable depressive sound for the most part, but the . The combination of the sorrowful black metal dirge and the ethereal choir is just pure catharsis and exactly what makes it possible for music about the lowest of our lows so great.

“Nightfire” is the one track that takes it kind of easy on the orchestral elements, and it provides a good strategic dynamic break to give the album’s flow some heterogeneity and focus on the band’s raw black metal capabilities. But the depressive orchestral glory resumes immediately on the track “Flesh Wounds Deeper Than I Once Thought”, whose absolutely gorgeous choir part even after the previous tracks’ is still astonishing.

The song “Fatigue” is perhaps the most modest on the album, especially in its use of orchestral element, but it’s certainly not a dud by any means beyond being surrounded by colossally emotive songs.

The album ends with “Into the Sea of Snakes”, which might be the most vulnerable song on the album, with the band opting for more open-hearted instrumention to contextualize the agonized screams and hideous wails and to close out the album and their career with somber farewell.

Never do the band compromise on their expressiveness of whatever it is they’re conveying at any given time, and never is it swallowed by or distracted from by the orchestral elements of the music. And never do the band shy away from the magnitude or ugliness of the depression they’re painting this portrait of through this music. It reminds me of both the unrestrained suicidal exorcisms of Leviathan and the monumentally fierce blackened grandeur of Behemoth, which are two great acts to be conjuring reminisce of in my opinion. But it’s not like the similarities to those two acts are distracting from the music by any means.

I am saddened that this is the end of Deadspace, as I really have come to love their music and personally think they deserved more recognition for their artistry, and I think that they really have ended on an upward trajectory that could have got them that recognition that they deserved (if that was indeed something they were striving for). I’ve often questioned how much my fondness for their being the first band to recognize what I’m doing with this blog and connect with me has played into building a bias of positive feelings toward their music, and I do think it’s worth acknowledging. But despite my repeated introspection, I keep coming back to actually really enjoying their music just by hearing it and not even thinking about it being them. And if my bias is that deeply internalized, then I guess I can’t do much more that acknowledge it. But all that bullshit is mostly beside the point to what I want to do here, which is celebrate the bittersweet triumph of this album and the artists behind it. A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars may not be remembered by many for the many reasons most underground albums aren’t, but for those who do get to experience it and Deadspace, it is certainly a memorable farewell for all the reasons the band clearly would intend for it to be, and a monument to all this band has accomplished artistically regardless of what they accomplished in the eyes of the industry.

9/10

#Deadspace #A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars #DSBM #depressive suicidal black metal #atmospheric black metal #ambient black metal #blackgaze #black metal #new music #new album #album review #metal #heavy metal

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justanearth-boundmisfit · 5 years

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Metas be like:Pr is not showrunning! Things are not as they appear in promos! But if they are, we'll just forget about all the time we dismissed people! This is angst! Just wait for the Deancas talk after Dean realizes he was unfair! Oh, he did realize? EVENTUALLY the talk will happen! We have 2 eps left! Colud also happen next season! But could also never happen! Nvm there's no need for it, it's CLEAR he's sorry! See, our meta predictions are always right, you illiterates!

Oh anon! They are so desperate! First they tried to convince everybody that the promo was misleading, and that “Bobo knows better”, and that we all should wait to see the whole episode instead of talking about some “seconds that are really not what they seem”. XD

Now that everything we’ve been saying has proved to be right, they are attacking people from all sides, even from an account that used to be about calling out bronlies, because they don’t know what to do anymore.

They already tried the “you are not smart enough to get the NaRRatiVe” speech to everyone of us who dared to speak, here or on twitter… they tried SO SO hard the poor souls. Now they are comparing Dean’s face looking at his mother’s pyre to him looking at Cas’ saying that one is romantic and the other is not… I mean if you have to reach THAT hard to find anything to still maintain your discourse, it’s that you are in deep deep denial or you are just a big bullshitter that doesn’t know how to quit.

They are speaking about how everybody is too stupid to get the big narrative, and I’m here thinking bitch what narrative? The same one spn gave us in season 6, 9, 10, 11, 12? I mean it’s NOT that hard to guess where this is going dear metas. Either Dean is going to apologize, improbable but could be, or he is going to find out about Cas’ deal with the empty when it’s too late and we are going to have, AGAIN, Dean’s manpain!™ for the mases to shout: “destiel is real! I’m living through all this angst! We don’t need Cas because he’s present through Dean’s pain!” And really? Haven’t we been here before? The constant recycling of stories is getting so old, Bobo’s writing is SO fucking bad, and all these metas are kissing his ass like he wrote an inspiring, out of this world, game changer tv show, when his writing is subpar at best, and terrible clichè and recycled at worst….

And if you have to hang on to a ship, through abuse, death, mistreatment and lies… well your discourse becomes immediately invalid. There’s no ship, imo, when one of the parts of said ship says to the other “you’re dead to me”. How you come back from that? Because spn is not going to put much effort to give Cas a better storyline, we all know that, it’s all about the brothers, more so when the show is ending. Hell the cw supernatural account is at this point, an anti Castiel one (and Misha JUST called them out XD). Saying that he failed the brothers (not), that he has to redeem himself (not) and bs like that. So the story goes for them that Cas REALLY fucked up and the one that has to apologize is him. WTF?

But metas still see destiel through that. They are so full of bs. And they dgaf about Cas, that has been confirmed, not them or their followers, want to see a happy, healthy Cas, they really like him suffering, they really like him being abused, they are those kinds of people that when someone is on the floor they kicked them in the stomach and have a laugh about it.

They are also saying that Cas stans are “woobifying“ him, that we are making him seem weak when he is not. If there’s someone that made Cas appear weak af it’s spn writers in Dabb’s era, they are constantly torturing him, punching him, diminishing him, almost with no powers, with no wings, his story line is that he fails at everything, that he cannot win, that he is never going to be a Winchester (at this point really I just wish he never will be, that last name is pure trash), that he is lesser than the bros, than Jack, than Lucifer… they put Cas through so much shit… but suuuuuure we are the ones that complain about nothing and make him weak..

What is upsetting it’s not what these metas are saying anymore, because they are slowly becoming the laughing stock of the fandom, but how they have turned into big fucking bullies, that can’t take NO for an answer. They are so disgusting that are really policing and persecuting people that don’t think like them, it’s really horrible to see people being afraid of these idiots or closing accounts because of their bullying.

But look, I’m trying to find a silver lining here, not to spn because that’s a lost cause, but to these meta idiots… the end is near :D not only for the show, but for them too, because where are they going to go when spn is no more and King Bobo doesn’t reply to his tweets anymore? And I’m going to be here with a glass of good wine seeing them turning into a bad memory of obsessed idiots…

Take care anon!

#Anonymous #rant #vent #replies #ranty replies #opinions #anti metas bullshit #anti spn #you can all go fuck yourselves :D #dirt for ts #long post for ts

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kinetic-elaboration · 6 years

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August 9: The 100 2x01, The 48

Okay, settling down to rewatch 2x01, the start of my favorite season...

I love this Clarke so much. Badass Clarke, sneaky Clarke, a Clarke who will fearlessly do what she has to in order to escape and to get to her friends. A Clarke with convictions and guts.

How DO they know everyone’s names lol? Is that ever explained? (ETA: Monty was obviously the informant.)

Mount Weather is one of my favorite parts of this show, honestly. I love that their mission is in part to preserve the beautiful things humanity created, like art; they gave their prisoner Starry Night. The ORIGINAL Starry Night. I just find that very moving. All of these non-essential parts of being human... the show has abandoned them and that’s part of why it’s so hollow for me now, I think.

Level 5: where it all begins and it all ends.

The Clarke/Maya relationship could have been so much more, tbh. Like they had their good moments, like threatening to kill each other etc., but they could have gone deeper.

Surprise! Underground executive branch family dinner! This is the sort of twist I can get behind.

Haha remember when actual delinquents still existed? I joke but truly the later canon has ruined parts of this show for me.

I forgot Tristan survived into 2x01. Not for long. Such Grounder hypocrisy: “That’s one. I lost 300.” He makes it sound as if Finn marched into a village and killed 300 people--they were fucking soldiers on the attack you dum-dum.

“Only our warriors speaking English.” Well that sounds like bullshit based on literally everything we see after this point.

The statue of Lincoln is “the place we go to settle disputes.” First, please don’t say they settle disputes to the death or some nonsense, and second, that’s his namesake... Significant? I mean, objectively, no, but can I make something out of it somehow?

I disliked Luna but she COULD have been so interesting and she and Lincoln COULD have had quite a dynamic. I headcanon them as exes. I want to know their whole backstory tbh. When they met. How. If he wanted to go with her to the sea. If he did perhaps and then came back.

Drink every time someone cauterizes a wound.

You know what else they should have done? Story line about the meeting of Grounder and Sky People medicine. Oh wait that would have taken away from the repetitive war story lines never mind.

That dropship is so fucking impressive. WHERE ARE THE AWARDS FOR THE SET PEOPLE?

And the costume people for those awesome masks.

Am I supposed to feel bad for this Grounder and his charred friend? I do not. Next time, don’t attack the children for no reason and you won’t get burned to a crisp. Easy.

The thing is I can never get behind the Raven + Murphy friendship 100% even though their S5 dynamic looked interesting because he literally fucking shot her and that’s just not a bygones are bygones thing. But they do have personalities that mesh well together so in that way it’s sort of a shame. Also he 10000000000000% had a crush on her don’t even try to argue.

She fired that gun at him. I forgot that. She fired but was out of bullets, that’s the only reason he didn’t die right there. “Yeah I would have shot me too.”

I’m p. sure that’s the real Mount Weather?

I know the Mount Weather people have no leg to stand on when it comes to the Grounders and that they’re...pretty obviously racist, but in their defense--the Grounders were written to be pretty savage, so “savages,” while unforgivably racially tinged, is a fair descriptor of them.

I know I’ve harped on this before but Mount Weather has a judicial system of some sort and it’s possible to press charges there. Somehow. The world building on this show sucks balls.

“They also said you were their leader” is like some retconning, okay. Because you will not convince me that for most of S1 BELLAMY wasn’t the leader in the eyes of the delinquents.

“Kiddo.”

Fucking love Dante. Where are my Dante + Clarke mentor/mentee or ex-mentor/mentee or different-gen-rivals fics?

“We prioritize safety over sentimentality.” As Maya takes blood she absolutely doesn’t need but is having just in case and that she knows comes from someone else’s tortured body because she’s accepted this as something they do, because she’s not sentimental. But she already feels guilty.

Clarke is already using the word “capture.” I had a discussion with someone once about Clarke’s vision of Mount Weather versus, say, Jasper’s, and why it was different and I said some poorly phrased stuff that didn’t really reflect my thoughts and opinions and it still haunts me but I feel like this is...relevant to that. How she immediately feels ‘captured,’ trapped.

Clarke’s devotion to her friends and her people was still so pure and right here.

Dante really does believe he “saved” them. I wonder what his thought process was... I really hate the “savages” so I must save these children? These children look interesting, let’s meet some new friends? She’s right of course that if they were really guests, they could leave.

Multiple crash sites over 100 square miles = I should go on google maps to confirm my Pennsylvania/Farm Station theory but I’m too lazy.

GOD THOSE CLOTHES. I love that Clarke picks the pants and the high heel shiv.

There’s no way there’s actually time for natural selection to work that fast in 97 years and also I’m pretty sure the Sky People are genetically modified because their original pool was way too small for the process Dante is describing but whatever this show is all la-di-da science.

Also: this is how you run an underground Bunker OCTAVIA.

Dante was the only rival/antagonist/whatever Clarke has ever had that rivals her instincts and intelligence yeah I said it; fight me. I know she needed to be on the outside for this season to work but he should have been her mentor. He basically set her up to be mentored and then she ran off and into L who basically destroyed her and she’s never recovered.

THAT REUNION. Heartwarming. Though hard to watch too because this show did both Jasper and Monty so dirty. (Yeah I said that too WHAT OF IT.)

“Dying. Same as you.” Murphy gets all the good lines. That’s why people like him, forget this “redemption arc.”

The Grounder Raven killed was Murphy’s guard and honestly--hilarious. He abandons his post, realizes all his friends are skeletons, pickpockets one, then is shot by what he must initially assume is a dead body. Better character than almost anyone introduced from S3 on.

This cake scene is the most iconic. Jonty were scene stealers stfu. They’re children--basically. They get to act their age. They get to be happy and silly and they loved each other so much.

“Pretend like you’re happy to see me.” / “We are happy to see you.” See? Adorable. I know he’s no cinnamon roll but gosh, adorable.

And then Clarke comes in like secret espionage time and they just look so Tired TM.

I feel like Monty knew, or suspected on some level, that Jasper wasn’t just ‘bummed out’ by Clarke’s suspicions, he was panicking a little.

I can’t believe Jasper and Maya have known each other for like 10 seconds and she’s already seen his O face.

“Clarke’s the only reason we survived.” Um ex-CUSE me but I know you didn’t forget Bellamy’s existence, Jasper.

Clarke’s so smart!

Maya brings out the big guns, literally.

“I’m the one who fired the rockets. Should I not have done that?” is so heartbreaking. Mostly because of the delivery. I love this entire scene. There are like 8 different scenes I love in this episode, like whole-heartedly and truly love.

Clarke’s suspicions really do look like paranoia. Like I see what she’s picking up on, saw it even the first time I watched this ep, but there’s a sense in which she does appear irrational.

There’s actually something kinda funny about Bellamy running out with a spear in one scene, looking around blankly, and then getting chained up as a prisoner in the next scene. At least he inspired his little protege Monroe. Scenes like this are the reason she joined Pike in S3.

Tristan’s like “Who are these fucking children running at me and screaming?” Then he gets shot in the head. Goodbye Tristan you won’t be missed.

“We’re here now. Everything’s going to be okay.” This sounds like Kane playing out a hero fantasy he’s had since he was a child. Except he’s talking to two mud-stained kids who are looking at him skeptically instead of, like, a captured heroine or something.

I feel like they set up this conflict where the adults/Sky People elite come in and, like Kane says explicitly, assume they’re in charge and everyone will fall in line, but then the delinquents don’t see it that way or want that: they have their own priorities (their friends) and their own relationships (Finn and Bell don’t even LIKE each other but they’re still communicating by look) and their own knowledge (the pipes that allow them to move through the dropship camp quickly and without permission). But then... it sort of plays into the rest of the season...but not that much?? Not as much as I would like.

“You are not animals. There are rules. Laws. You are not in control here anymore.”

This show sacrificed a lot of complex relationships to just either make people buddy-buddy who had no reason to be or just arbitrarily assign relationships to scenes or episodes without regard for continuity at all.

Raven took Jasper’s goggles.... never over this.

How was bringing Octavia to TonDC faster than collecting some beetles for her to eat?

“Loss, pain, regret. Time eases these things.” I’d say this is the sort of line the show should be repeating but God when it gets a line in its teeth it never lets the fuck go so I guess it’s better this one remains pristine.

I find Dante very sympathetic but also so creepy.

They weren’t really patrolling for other people, were they? Because like...surely they would have found them. They’re at the dropship and close by. He was just bullshitting here. But why don’t they want to make even more new friends?

Dante’s stationery is presidential themed lol. Glad we stocked up the bunkers properly with the important stuff.

The crashed Alpha Station is beautiful. I believe this was the first time it was shown on the show? Ugh, this whole sequence with the music, it’s perfect and so touching.

Jaha is the most tragic and heartbreaking figure on this show. He also doesn’t get the appreciation he deserves. Just...the image of a man alone in space, talking to his loved ones, hoping they can hear them, not knowing if they can... I almost can’t handle it. I used to be very unsure if I liked where his story line went after this (seeing it in its entirety, I defend it) but surely he could not have died this way.

....I really gotta sleep now.

#the year 2018 #2018: fandom thoughts #2018: the 100 s2

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markisan · 4 years

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TOP 40 METAL ALBUMS of 2019 Part 2 of 2 (#1-20)

I’ve been making a Best Metal Albums of the Year list for nearly two decades, but 2019 is the 1st time I’ve done so as an official member of the METALHEADS Podcast. Last year the boys gave me a chance to share my top picks as a guest, and this year I was invited to be a permanent part of the show. It’s been an honor and a blast to discuss metal, interview musicians, and throw a few beers back every month with George, Jay, Will, John and Matt.

2019 was an incredible year for metal. We all spent a lot of time listening to hundreds of albums, honing our lists and cursing the metal gods every time a great contender had to be cut. But when we finally put down our scalpel blades and wiped away the blood, some damn selections were revealed.

My final choices for the top 20 metal albums are below. You can read my choices for #21-40 HERE.

Listen to me and the boys count down ALL 40 of our favorite LPs here:

METALHEADS Ep. 90 “Top 40 Metal Albums of 2019″

20. Wilderun “Veil of Imagination”

Self-Released

This album is musical imagination science. Intricate. Breathtaking. It truly feels like the next evolutionary step in progressive metal.

19. Cranial “Alternate Endings”

Moment of Collapse

An absolutely monstrous and aggressive sludge and post-metal album that occasionally dips its toe into sci-fi synth waters. One of the biggest sounding LPs I’ve heard this year.

18. The Great Old Ones "Cosmicism"

Season of Mist

I’ve enjoyed The Great Old Ones for a while now, but this album takes their sound to a grand cosmic level. As immersive and visceral as the H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos it’s based on.

17. Obsequaie "The Palms of Sorrowed Kings"

20 Buck Spin

Brilliant, melodic black metal mixed with the sounds of the Renaissance Faire on a summer day. This is classic, medieval literature in musical form and it’s glorious.

16. Inculter "Fatal Visions"

Edged Circle Productions

I found this sinister thrash album a few weeks before the end of 2019 and it quickly left the other speed metal competitors in its blood-soaked wake. I didn’t hear this kind of malevolence in another trash band this year. And I very much dig malevolence.

15. Adrift "Pure"

Temple of Torturous

An absolutely thunderous, progressive metal album, propelled by a jet-fuel fired bass sound, vicious black metal vocals and colossal riffs. A street painter in Madrid told me about this band several years ago and I've been thankful ever since.

14. Vacivus “Annihilism”

Profound Lore

This is exemplary, modern death metal with merciless, unrelenting riffs, savage breakdowns and tremolo-picking tendrils that will wrap around your ear drums like a constrictor snake.

13. Immortal Bird “Thrive On Neglect”

20 Buck Spin

No other band sounds like Immortal Bird. “Thrive on Neglect” is a soaring statement of pummeling death, black and grind metal, mixed with complex hardcore and progressive elements. An amalgamate maelstrom not to be missed.

12. False “Portent”

Gilead Media

This album is pain and loss in musical form. Engrossing black metal with scope, skill, and gorgeously constructed songs that pour out aggression and emotion like blood from an open wound.

11. Gatecreeper “Deserted”

Relapse

In a recent issue of Decibel Magazine, Gatecreeper referred to their sound as “Stadium Death Metal” and that’s an apt characterization of the band’s sound. They focus on writing huge, catchy hooks that audiences will remember. Mission accomplished.

10. Falls of Rauros "Patterns in Mythology"

Gilead Media

This is amazing, black and post-metal alchemy with a big, cinematic feel. Gorgeous melodies, folk atmospherics and masterful riffs make "Patterns in Mythology” mesmerizing from start to finish.

9. Blood Incantation "Hidden History of the Human Race"

Dark Descent

"Hidden History of the Human Race” is a cosmic roar of destruction that takes death metal to places it hasn’t been before. You’ll feel like you’re seeking out new life and new civilizations with every spin.

8. Weeping Sores “False Confession”

I, Voidhanger

If you asked me to describe the kind of music Weeping Sores plays, I'd tell you progressive death-doom with violin. But that label falls way short of capturing the dynamic and colorfully devastating experiment of "False Confession." Surprising and phenomenal.

7. Tomb Mold "Planetary Clairvoyance"

20 Buck Spin

The cover to “Planetary Clairvoyance” features a bio-engineered alien cyclops gestating in an otherworldly basement of sludge and stardust. The music sounds pretty much exactly like that description. This album also solidifies Tomb Mold as one of the best metal bands on our planet.

6. Arctic Sleep “Kindred Spirits”

Self Released

Dedicated to a beloved cat who passed away last year, “Kindred Spirits” is a stunning and emotional metal experience. In addition to the gorgeous, arresting music that deftly mixes doom, post-metal, ambient and a 90s rock sound that reminds me of Hum, Kieth D’s lyrics tug hard on my heart strings every time I listen. RIP Yoda.

5. Vastum “Orificial Purge”

20 Buck Spin

“Orificial Purge” is brutal with some of the most memorable, galloping riffs of 2019 and a triumphal, modern aura to it that makes it stand apart in the thriving death metal field. I’ve plunged into this orifice often.

4. Crypt Sermon "The Ruins of Fading Light"

Dark Descent

“The Ruins of Fading Light” is an album that has one boot in traditional metal and the other in doom. And both of those boots kick you in the gut with super-heavy impact. This album is thick with hooks, grooves and bombastic lead guitar solos, and the dynamic vocals by Brooks Wilson fill “The Ruins of Fading Light” with iron and emotion.

3. Crowhurst "III"

Prophecy Productions

"III” is a sensory spice blend of sludgy black metal, noise, shoegaze and electronica that feels like it was mixed inside a dark and dangerous heart. A truly unique and special album.

2. Cattle Decapitation "Death Atlas"

Metal Blade

“Death Atlas” is an apocalyptic masterpiece, featuring some of the sharpest and most sophisticated songwriting in 2019. The tracks are remarkably varied, delivering brutal riffs, theatrical and infectious vocals, and a real progressive sense of adventure. It’s also catchy as hell. “Death Atlas” demands repeat spins until you sing along and smile as the world ends.

1. Atlantean Kodex "The Course of Empire"

Ván Records

A long while ago, my friend Garrett played the first Atlantean Kodex album, “The Golden Bough,” for me in his metal basement because he thought I'd like it. He was right, as G often is about the kind of metal that speaks to me. The band followed that album with “The White Goddess,” which was a critically-acclaimed, grand triumph. It took another six years for Atlantean Kodex to release their third LP because the band is so meticulous about the way they make music. To tell you it was was worth the long wait is an enormous understatement. “The Course of Empire” is one of the greatest, epic metal albums of all time. If Iron Maiden and Manowar were magically merged inside a medieval cauldron during the Battle of Helms Deep this would be the soundtrack. It’s an exceptionally crafted collection of songs, featuring mountainous guitar riffs, soaring choruses and some of the best vocals and lyrics in metal this year from Markus Becker. “The Course of Empire” has the kind of breadth and scope that make me feel like the ancient worlds of my dreams – worlds forged by blood and steel – are calling for me to pick up my sword and make them real once more.

CLICK HERE FOR PART 1 (#21-40)

#metal top40 bestof 2019

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