The Tortured Torts Department: Every tortoise GRUMPs if they're made to wait. 🪶🕯🕰🍽😤🐢

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Late Paul Patton (B. June 1st 1942) and a backside note to his late wife Gwendolyn Patton nee Tate (B. July 28th 1944)

the empty plate is for you when

you arrive my love. The plate and my plans

will be filled when you get here

banh bot loc

Cheddar Jalapeño burger w/ chipotle mayo

This plate was SCHMACKIN

i love it when you read multiple works from a writer and you start being able to pick out the things that stick with them. like the themes they keep thinking about, that can’t be satisfied with just one poem or novel or story. or the motifs they like to reuse and recycle throughout their works like an extradiagetic thread. it’s like drawing a map through a writer’s collection of all the things that keep them up at night

Though Roderick and his followers didn't realise it at the time, the magic in the circle and the glass orb meant that the only people who could see Dream were the ones that were there when he was summoned, so as far as the guards are concerned they're guarding an empty glass sphere that a delusional old man thinks holds something. And then of course, Hob gets hired as a guard and it's dealer's choice if Dream has realised by then that no one but Burgess and his Order can see him.

But then because Hob is sort of aware that magic and esoteric things do exist, he sees Burgess (sr or jr) talking to the globe and is like, huh. Maybe there is something in there. But maybe it's a demon like the rumours say and I shouldn't let it out. But Hob starts talking to Dream anyway while the other guard takes longer and longer smoke breaks.

Whichever Burgess is around at the time realises that there must be something about this guard, because the next time he comes down to yell/bargain/threaten, Dream has moved. He's hidden his face, there are handprints against the glass, and the dreamlord's shoulders are shaking.

It doesn't take him long to figure out the pattern - that this only happens around Robert, for whatever reason, and the man himself has no notion of what's in the circle - and eventually he sends the guards out so that he can tell Dream exactly what he'll do to this Robert if Dream doesn't comply. That he may not understand what it is about this one man that compels one of the Endless so, when he has been so unaffected by everything else but the death of his familiar, but that doesn't matter. He will find out, and he will leverage it, however he needs to.

He turns and leaves, and basically I want Hob to wander back in none the wiser and settle into his chair and his usual routine of talking all moony eyed about his stranger, while Dream is roaring his fear and fury and beating his fists bloody against the glass

Hello! Just dropping in with another silly question but what are dinner dates looking like with Zandik and the segments? Like if fragile reader was slowly getting better and decided to enjoy a little dinner date with one of the segments each, some not even going out but rather in a private dinning room within the place.

Though it sounds unbelievable to many, there's quite often a segment with you for meals, due to various reasons (shaky hands, lack of appetite/motivation, etc). Of course, over time their presence becomes less and less as you become healthier, however, it is certainly not what one calls a "date." Most of the time it's pretty much just you eating in peace while the segment attends to whatever work he needs to do while simultaneously keeping an eye on you. Which is why you wanted to change that up a bit, both you and your beloveds deserved a small break.

I don't think you would actually go anywhere with any of them. Both of you probably prefer being in the comfort of the lab much more (and also the effort of going out and dressing up and all... so much work... but here you can drag them to bed to cuddle right after! Yeah, is the lab kinda dreary and boring? Maybe, but you can spice it up! And it's the person in front of you that matters, after all.)

It'd be a pain to get Zandik himself to do this, he's always busy and locked up in his lab doing research and work... and furthermore, he barely eats... when he does, he does it too quickly and doesn't even savor the food properly, just so he can get back to experiments quicker. That's not proper for a dinner date! Not sure how you'd convince him, not very easy. Even if you do, it would be quite rushed and probably not what you wanted.

It would be a very special occasion whenever an actual dinner happens. Even though you two would have a lot of a lot of time, he would find it difficult to sit and simply eat for so long. He thinks of his segments and their work. However, just keep your hand placed on his and try to divert his attention. Getting him to start ranting about his projects is pretty easy. Once he gets into the atmosphere, he seems to forget this is a dinner date rather than a chatting one (still eats the cold food like it's no problem).

It's easier to get the segments to do this, mostly because they're vying for your attention as they don't get much from you sometimes...

Omega is by far the most suave with it. He wipes your face when you have something near your mouth, and he helps you recover from joking when he says something that makes you embarrassed. Also forces you to eat the vegetables. Webttore, well, it's pretty chaotic. The "romantic" aspect of a dinner date is lost on him. Be prepared to defend your dessert against him, he will try and take it. The Akademiya segment wouldn't have much of a taste for a good dinner, having become used to hardly edible stuff, but he would appreciate it the most if you cooked for him. His notes are always present at dinner, something that reminds you of being a student with him four hundred years ago. Of course, he'll let you read them if that's what you wish. (Please engage in intellectual conversation with him about them.)

The only segment that you can have an actual dinner with every day really is little Zandy. The conversation is always sweet and fun when you're with the child. However, sometimes you need to remind him to eat before the food gets cold or not to speak with his mouth full...

Bottomless Pit woes: Today I was still so hungry after second breakfast that I tried to CHOMP my plastic plants when I thought Mom wasn't looking! Every time Mom or Grandmom refilled my plate, I cleared it off immediately, even the smallest of crumbs! After my second dinner, I fell asleep on my empty plate waiting for more noms that never came.

kid icarus fans going through ao3 forcing themselves through the most godawful erotic fic summaries in existence just to see their obscure fav appears in 2 stories ever

whacked myself over the head and became a pervert