#emotionally I’m unstable atm
Note
Getting this off my chest:
Back from a small fanfic hiatus, and I am absolutely flabbergasted by all of the fic authors now practically begging their readers to READ THE TAGS.
I’ve been seeing this warning written in summaries, in author’s notes, highlighted in all caps in the actual tags. I’ve read so many apologies written by authors in the comments in response to people chastising the author for writing what they wanted to write, for what they tagged correctly — for what essentially comes down to nothing more than having had other people actively ignore their tags or read despite them.
And there seems to be this bizarre, somehow largely accepted idea that it is the creators job and responsibility to beseech their readers to ‘use caution’ and to ‘stay safe’, to ‘be mindful of their health’…
I am beyond confused here.
Since when??? did exercising the most basic form of common sense and acknowledging one’s personal yeas and nays, likes and limitations, become some other random stranger’s burden rather than one’s own? And especially a random person who tagged their work correctly??? Does no one remember how to harness their own powers of discernment and self-regulation???
This little jaunt back onto ao3 has been unlike any that I’ve ever experienced before. What. Happened?????? Who is this new, apparently severely emotionally unstable and obstinately tags-reading resistant audience everyone has come to focus on?
It all feels so out of touch. The basic concept of ao3 is for the reader to seek out what they want, not what they don’t want. And to actually read. But there seems to have been an extremely strong shift away from reading. On ao3. A site built specifically for reading and writing. (And other fandom artistic pursuits, but not my focus, atm; though I’m sure whatever this is has crept steadily into all spaces there.)
Plummeting reading comprehension must be somewhat to blame; the popularity of fanfic amongst younger and wider audiences, as well. But… young people have always been there, as far as my own experiences go, and it was never like this. It’s as if too many readers don’t know how to make good or even practical decisions for themselves anymore, that they’ve lost the skill of choosing, and now believe that they must consume everything that passes before them; — that they have, for some reason, adopted the belief that any turmoil or dislike or discomfort felt within themselves is harm purposely being done to them by the author.
Idk. Idk, idk, idk. It’s just such a bummer to see how much nervousness and distress has entered the community. Authors notes and comments used to be hilarious fun, or a peek into someone else’s real-life world, used to be casual and full of personality, whereas nowadays, there seems to be an underlying hesitancy and distrust, a sort of growing divide between writers and readers, groups which, until recently, very much were not mutually exclusive.
--
Idiots have been around forever. The more you cater to them, the more entitled they get. It's best to shut that shit down fast and use no warnings that indicate a willingness to entertain stupid complaints.
345 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi so I’m really going through it atm and would appreciate some input/advice please💕 so i just found out that the guy I was talking to for a year long distance has had a gf all this time...the girl reached out to me calling my phone and I knew immediately it was weird that a Miami number was calling me...anyway she was wondering who I was because she said she saw my number on her boyfriends phone...I told her everything then sent her screenshots to confirm. While I was sending her them, the guy was texting me and then I called him and was like “you have a girlfriend” and he goes “you had a dating app” then hung up and blocked me...I don’t understand this because why would he cheat with me for a year just to block me when the girlfriend found out?? She said they broke up too...I’m just so hurt. She also blocked me after telling her everything so I can’t ask her if they are actually broken up or not...I tried calling him many times a weeks after from No Caller ID and he texts me “stop fucking calling, how it’s clearly over, to move on, stop being so obsessed” I denied it but I was just so hurt especially because he’s lied to me and led me on for what?? Why do this to me when we’re long distance why hurt me like that? Anyway, like 2 weeks later called me many times kept telling me to call him so did he goes “just wanted to apologize clear the air sorry you had to go through all that” and I was like “ok” then before I could say more he hung up and blocked me....then like 2 weeks after that messaged me “yo, kept calling me and I told him I couldn’t talk that I was at work at he goes “right” and I was like “I am” and he goes “bet” and I was like “what” and he goes “forget it” and I was like “?” Then he emphasized it...then I said I could talk later and he liked the text then I sent him “If you’re going to be rude and upset me then we don’t need to talk. You’ve really hurt me a lot. I didn’t know you had a girlfriend all this time so would have never even come to Miami to begin with to see you...that is gross. you putting me in the middle hasn’t been fair especially being that you’ve lied to me so much, made my anxiety way worse we’ve just hookup and you’ve left me every time being blacked out and all and could have died..... I really don’t understand why you would do that to me...or this girl really. You’ve wasted my time and money and don’t know why you would think that is okay....” then he emphasized that we would talk later but then when I tried to call him blocked again....why is he doing this?? Then I just stopped calling him for 2 weeks then this last Monday he calls me 3 times in a row, texts me “yo” then within 15 minutes blocked me before I could answer him..why is he doing this? I don’t understand and then blocking me....I left him alone so I’m really not understanding I’m also not understanding why he blocked me when the gf found out but would do this to me for a year....
let’s not contact him anymore or allow him to continue to contact you/answering him and giving the opportunity to come in and out of your space and your life. All he’s doing is playing around in your face and he’s clearly very confused, unstable, and emotionally immature and nobody wants that. He’s blocking you and unblocking you because he knows it bothers you and he’d just like to see how much access he is capable of having to you after he’s done what he did and betrayed you over the course of the entire year and you continue to answer your phone (even with dry replies) you continue to explain to him in depth what he did and how that makes you feel when he most likely is completely aware of what he’s doing.
He does not deserve access to you anymore and you need to cut off all contact and communication immediately and stop going back and forth and trying to get him to understand anything because if he truly wanted to understand you or cared for your feelings or the relationship you had he wouldn’t have done anything like that in the first place. He’s made a decision. He’s chosen to be unfaithful, he’s chosen to attempt to gaslight you or try to justify his own behavior when you confronted him about his disrespect and mistreatment of you.
The girl blocked you and I’m sure that she’s upset or hurt after what she found out but she probably is still with him and still entertaining him because she’s probably having a hard time letting go. Let her have him. You keep asking “why did he do this to me?” “Why did he do that?” Because he wanted to. That’s why. There is no closure in understanding why, where, what, how,, because that is not going to change what happened or make you feel any less hurt about the circumstances of the situation. You’re hurting because you had an expectation, because you had needs and those needs and expectations were not met. The potential of this connection going right for you is what you’re probably holding onto that is why you cannot find it within yourself to understand WHY, you cannot find it within yourself to understand WHY because you would’ve never done such a thing to anyone nor him.
Let go. Find your closure within the fact that you did not hold any malicious energy within this connection, that you did all you could. The pure of heart always win in the end and you most likely (I’m sure that you did) did everything right and didn’t do anything to deserve the behavior he displayed or the harm he did you. Stop seeking closure in places where it is not able to be given to you, he is unable to tell you why because he does not even know why he does the things he does, he is unable to sympathize with you, to understand the depth of the pain that you feel because he’s insecure and he’s apathetic to anyone and anything at this time. He is unable to provide you with a good, genuine connection, with respect and loyalty because the energy he brings to your connection is the energy he has towards himself.
Cut off that contact and the access he has to you and the access you have to him. Get rid of anything that holds any energy of your connection, pictures, messages, videos, gifts, etc. take your energy out of this connection and release your control and give it to the universe to handle from this point forward, your ancestors, your spirit guides, whatever god(s) or deities you believe in have already begun to take care of this and your job now is to focus on pouring all of your energy back into yourself divine feminine. Focus on your goals, focus on creating the things you want to bring into fruition, listen to your body, listen to your mind, listen to your heart, listen to all your needs and focus on meeting them for yourself. Take initiative over your life, you’re responsible for meeting your needs, you’re responsible for whomever it is you let in from this point forward, you’re responsible for choosing the relationships and connections that you have in your life.
Reestablish yourself, reinvent yourself and learn to be intentional about everything that you do moving forward in regards to what you want and what you need. Remember how much you’re worth, remember how protected and loved you are, remember how lucky and fortunate he was to have you, to speak to you.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw i’m very emotionally unstable atm and am treating it by adding shit load of x files posts to my queue
0 notes
Text
Today on “Am I Usually This Emotionally Unstable Or Is This Just Because It’s My Time Of The Month?” :
Have nearly burst into tears because of ONE line in a song
Watched Heartstopper 3 times through in ~24 hours because it gives me the happy feels and I need that
Nearly started crying because I do not have a girlfriend. I do not even have a crush on anyone atm so where did this even come from?
Kinda hate myself but also think I’m the hottest person in existence (kinda normal tbf)
0 notes
Note
If there's anyone who must read those scientific studies on the alterations on people who were abused, it's Hori! See the way he's trying to make ende*vor "sympathetic" at cost of Touya portrayed as an unstable child by "his" choice. Just, sometimes I wonder if hori is a smart man or a stupid man who play with people's feelings, especially who mirror in Touya, because they're abuse victims too (just like me)
Firstly, I’m so very sorry you went through that, Anon. You did not deserve it. <3
I think firstly, we need to wait for the chapter before we say that’s really what he’s trying to portray. I do think he wants us to love and sympathize with Touya: Shouto directly says “he’s me,” so I am not sure what else that could mean.
However, I also think there are valid critiques to be had. I’m not addressing this chapter but instead common criticisms (and rebuttals to those critiques) I’ve seen over the past arc. Imo the critiques of this chapter are pretty similar to the ones that have gone before lol so take it as you will, but we’ll see once it’s out!
One thing I see commonly praised is that the Todoroki subplot showcases different perspectives and unreliable narrators. In theory, I agree. However, in practice, I find the execution of this... messy. This is my opinion and not fact, but I’ll explain why I think it’s bumbling at best within the narrative.
It comes across as wishy-washy instead of hammering home a narrative theme of different perspectives. The narrative theme might be hammered home in the end (see the next paragraph) but for the time being it’s confusing. Different narrator/nuance/perspectives work best when the rest of the story is full of that to emphasize it, but frankly in BNHA the rest of the story is... not like that. Hence, having to change tone, reading, perspective for one subplot (admittedly my favorite subplot!) is a questionable writing move even if done with good intentions.
It also doesn’t work well--for me!--to have these tonal changes in a weekly manga. I’ve talked before about the struggle of serial fiction mediums being how to balance pacing and suspense when your audience gets very small increments at a time. So, while some elements of the story definitely read better when we have the full picture, when you’re giving the reader a sliver of the picture once a week and they might have to wait years for the full picture... to what extent does the tonal changes per week affect the quality of the writing? That’s a question without easy answers, but I don’t think it’s working well in a weekly manga.
Lastly, one of the messy aspects of the story since the Pro-Hero Arc is that I’m not sure Horikoshi knows who he wants to focus on in a lot of ways. Enji as the main character of the subplot--because atm he frankly is and has been for awhile--is a questionable choice. The kids have been afterthoughts for over half the manga. It seems he’s so focused on trying to persuade fans (who are never going to be persuaded) about Enji’s potential for change/that the criticisms can be answered and he’s aware of this and that and this too! that he’s struggling with the overall progression of the story. By trying to answer every criticism, the writing feels bloated and contradictory instead of tight (which can also b e contradictory but like, the themes are better reinforced).
That said, I think Horikoshi really, really cares. I don’t think he’s “stupid” (and I don’t like ableist terms!); on the contrary, I think he’s deeply emotionally invested and listening to people’s complaints. I think he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, and I think the Todoroki and Shigaraki subplots are deeply important and personal to him because of the level of care he devotes to them. But I wish he would just stick to writing what he’s gonna write instead of trying to address every possible concern. Humanity means there isn’t always time to address “well what about X?” Every story has a valid criticism of it, and no story is palatable to everyone.
I personally think the narrative is definitely heading towards reconciliation for the entire Todoroki family. I have my issues and my complaints (boy, do I) but I’m in it for that aspect (and for Shigaraki’s redemption too) even if I complain about quality all the time because critique is what we do on this here blog ;)
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Infinity Train s3 ep5 reactions
Please don’t check this out until you finish ep5 thank you!!!
am i scared?? yes oh yes i am terrified
also im really gonna miss them when the series ends ;;;
alright here we go! can’t wait to lose my marbles :’D
“Ok!” *sleeps*
I love her she’s amazing XD
poor baby don’t be sad ;;;
PRECIOUS!!!!! SO PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“No.”
Ohhh man is Grace getting attached to Tuba? Is this gonna bother Simon a lot???
oh no no no no-
they’re so done lmao
Also the idea of the color car is so cool :OOO
Also Roy is great XD it’s a nice change of character aaa
S: “UGHHH so I’m stuck with Tuba?”
T: “No, I’m stuck with you.”
H: “It’s a good kinda stuck.”
I love this so much
“Have you ever gotten to know one?”
Hazel be out there asking the REAL questions
okay but seriously im all on board with this redemption ark dude
“YOU are a CHILD, even Bugle was more mature than you.”
hMMMM interesting...
YES!!!!! BONDING!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Infinity Train is really tackling those tough topics wow its amazing ;;
And awww Simon is starting to care for her ;;
Poor Bugle TnT
Tuba is color blind omg!! This is genius!!!
Also i love how she just shrugs lol
I LOVE TO SEE THAT MORAL GROWTH WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Very cool idea :OOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I SWEAR OWEN DON’T DO THIS TO ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SIMON PLEASE BE GOOD PLEASE DON’T HURT HER PLEA S E
POOR HAZEL CAN’T HANDLE THE TRAUMA
SIMON I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!!! WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOPPPPP
YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
yikes he’ll be higher than Grace!!!
IM NOT OKAY WITH THIS NOOOOOOOO
HI SIMON THERE’S SOMETHING CALLED CHILD TRAUMA AND YOU JUST PUT IT ONTO HER AND HOW DA R E YOU
YOU MADE HAZEL CRY DUDE IM THIS CLOSE TO HURTING YOU
HOW DARE YOU
WHY ARE YOU SMILING?!?!?!!? HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM NOT OKAY WITH THIS S T O P
NONONONNONONONNONONONONONONONO
WH A T ?? ! ? !
IS THIS HOW DENIZENS ARE FORMED???
THEY KILLED PEOPLE?????????????
WH A T
IM LOSING IT
Me atm, traumatized and emotionally unstable:
IM NOT OKAY
#kiki screams about infinity train s3#infinity train spoilers#infinity train book 3#infinity train s3#infinity train book 3 spoilers#infinity train s3 spoilers#it spoilers#kiki stuff
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m emotionally unstable so I’m connected to fictional characters. Please enjoy as I insert myself into whatever anime in obsessed with atm. Thanks - 🔪
1 note
·
View note
Text
I’m so exhausted and emotionally unstable atm that I just burst into tears because I dropped my hotdog on the floor, so I hope you’re having a better day than me rn friend
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.
fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
tagged by: stolen from my other blog :)
tagging: @snowbrn @threads-of-destiny (Fenris) @thedasonfire (Solas) @serbrienneoftarth @scndor
My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. Hard to answer, and I wouldn’t say he’s UNPOPULAR, he’s just... not as popular as say... Dany or Jon are? Or even Cersei, tbh. If there were a more middle ground option, I’d definitely he’s more middle. Sometimes I feel like he’s a forgotten character despite the massive role he’s played in the series.
Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. Not only is Jaime known to be attractive and look the part of a king in the entire series, but Nikolaj is honestly just a super attractive male with a smile that could kill. I haven’t heard many people say that he’s an unattractive person, so this is definitely a yes. He might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but he’s enough of a looker that his reputation proceeds him.
Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. Okay so... this is complicated. Because many would see Jaime as weak because of his flaws, which is fair... And then they would also say he’s weak because he doesn’t have his sword hand any longer. But overall, Jaime is a strong character throughout the series, especially as a swordsman. He is one of the best swordsmen in Westeros, and I think there are MANY people who forget that little fact about him because in the series he was softening by the end of it. I think that’s where the fandom can really misinterpret Jaime. He definitely has his flaws, but he’s still an exceptionally strong individual.
Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. I think so. I think it’s mainly because I feel like he’s misunderstood by a lot of the fandom. I’m not excusing any of his shitty behaviour, but when you’ve got heroes like Jon Snow and Dany, and even Sansa, and strong villains like Cersei, Joff and Ramsay, I think they are all the face of the series. Those characters are the main characters that people think of when they see Game of Thrones. So Jaime is seen more of a support character, even with his ties. Most people think Lannister, they think Cersei and Tyrion (because they have so much more screen/book time than Jaime does). That’s the thing about GoT though, I feel like there’s no real “main” character. I feel like no matter who it is, there’s always a little love for them in the fandom, and I love that about the fandom. But overall, yes, I would say he’s definitely the third Lannister when thinking of the siblings.
Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO. He’s kind of the entire reason why there’s a war in the first place tbh... He pushed a kid out a window and all hell broke loose :’D
Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. He’s a member of one of the great Houses of Westeros. He plays a big part.
Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. Oh yes, greatly known, and for many reasons. Mostly he’s known for being a king slayer, though.
How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. It depends on who you ask, but throughout most of Westeros and during the series, he does not have a good reputation. Well known for his fighting skills and handsome features are about the only good reasons, everything else comes down to his relationship with his sister (sexual included) and the fact that he is a man without honour. Only by the end of the series does his reputation change, and even then, it is small. Jaime will never recover from what he has done.
How strictly do you follow canon? — I’m fairly strict with what I go with. I stick to a strong, canon foundation because it’s a part of Jaime that is essentially who he IS as a character. It’s why I enjoy writing him, and I’m not going to take that away from him. The only divergencies are the fact that I prefer he not die in season 8 and I also write my Jaime as demisexual/romantic.
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — Jaime is complicated. There is no saying he is a simple character, he has layer upon layer, and discovering that is a joy. Or at least it is for me, lol. I, personally, think Jaime is such a UNIQUE character because he actually isn’t a liar compared to his siblings. Between the bickering, Jaime is actually exceptionally forward, but because people don’t expect any Lannister to be honest, it’s a joy seeing how he can use that to his advantage. He often says cryptic, sarcastic comments that people think are him being sly and dishonest, but he’s actually being completely blunt that it’s hard to tell if Jaime is actually telling the truth or playing a game. I think that’s just a really fun trait to explore when getting to write and interact with him. Also, who doesn’t like interacting with a sarcastic arsehole? X’D Deep down, Jaime has a lot of complicated issues, however, especially when it comes to family and how he is supposed to be seen. He says he doesn’t care, but he cares deeply, he brushes everything off like it’s nothing, but he’s crippled on the inside. Jaime is just one of those really strong on the outside but weak on the inside characters, and I love getting to explore that.
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — I think the fact that Jaime has been in an incest relationship for his entire life, that would definitely push people away from really caring or interacting with him. And if that’s a trigger for someone, then I totally understand why they’d want to stay away. That’s fair. Jaime can also come off as selfish and cruel, with a bad temper. People might not have the PATIENCE for him, when that’s really what he needs. He needs someone to help guide him to be a better person, to remove himself from the toxicity of ... well, his entire life, lol. He can also, like mentioned in the last questions, be cryptic as fuck. He is handicapped, he can be emotionally unstable, has PTSD and honestly just has a LOT going on, and trying to push past that to make him grow as a person and a character could be too much for folks to deal with (I think that’s a plus, but I can understand why he might not be popular lol).
What inspired you to rp your muse? — Jaime has been one of my favourite characters ever since I got interested in the series. I was nervous as hell to join the GoTRP community because I’d never read the books before (and still haven’t finished them lol), but I adored his character from the start, especially when a redemption arc began to happen. Look, I’m a sucker for redemption arcs and character growth, learning about his past and his secret about why he killed the Mad King. Those things are things that draw me to characters, villain characters who try to be better, who learn, who become softer. I LOVE that growth, and that’s definitely what kept me interested in Jaime. His in depth character only made my drive for wanting to delve into his head stronger. I love complicated characters, I love grey characters, I love characters that have layers I can pick through and analyse. I have also always been highly interested in sexual mental health and health in general (and have been interested in psychology for ever since I was little lol), so he was right up my ally.
What keeps your inspiration going? — Definitely rewatching the series (which I desperately need to do lol), and reading the novels (which I’m VERY slow with but absolutely love them!). What really keeps me interested is definitely my RP partners though, and keeping active within the writing community. I love getting to interact with everyone.
Some more personal questions for the mun.
Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.
Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? I have severe duplicate insecurities like most people do, but I’m pretty happy with the grasp I have on Jaime’s character overall. It’s hard to write post season 8 Jaime without a book to go to and compare against the series, so I try and keep them pretty level with each other and find a happy place in the middle. I also know I most likely write Jaime a little more emotionally traumatised, but I try to keep what happened to him real, and that has repercussions.
Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? I need to move them over to this blog, but NOT ENOUGH. I really need to rewatch and continue the book series to get my head around more headcanons. Also I just haven’t had ANY time this year for much at all when it comes to headcanons, because I am so exhausted after work
Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. For Jaime, unfortunately, no. I keep most of my drabbles to my Dragon Age protags. I would love to though... if I had time, lol.
Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. Absolutely. Hyperfocus like a champ over here, lol.
Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? I think there’s always room for improvement, but I’m pretty happy with my portrayal so far. I try my hardest to keep him pretty canon, and the feedback I’ve had from my partners has always been so kind and reassuring <3
Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I’ve been writing Dragon Age for so long... I feel like I don’t know a lot of the lore when it comes to GoT. I sometimes have to Wiki things I forget, names I don’t remember, and alliances and plots because I’m BAD with politics okay? I’m terrible with it all. Writing helps me learn those things, but if I’m not interested, I find it tedious to go and research (ASD/ADHD).
Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO / SORTA. It depends. Some things I really don’t care about, others I do. It entirely depends on my mood and the day, and how the stars align lol. Or... how tired I am, haha. It really just depends. I will be more sensitive if I’m hurt from someone that means something to me, or someone I look up to. Other days I just can’t be fucked because I’m too old and tired to deal with it.
Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — I’m going to have to say “no” on this. It’s purely because i’m not ASKING for criticism. If I was, then that’s fair because I’m actively SEEKING to be better. Right now, Jaime is a hobby and not a muse that I am constantly working on. He’s a tertiary muse that I’m here to just have a good time with and research when I feel the need to. Outside of that, if you don’t like my portrayal then you don’t have to interact with me and that’s fine. If you think my Jaime is too emotional, I’m working off mostly season 8 things which we have no book to look back on, so it’s mostly me basing everything off his past reactions and character development. If you have issues on the way I see his and Cersei’s relationship and it being toxic despite his love for her, that’s a whole diff convo lol. At the end of the day... I’m writing him the way he comes to me, and if you don’t enjoy it then that’s all good, just don’t get in my face about it.
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — Absolutely, they help with getting to know little things about him that I may never have thought about before. I love those kinds of character development questions.
If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — I guess it depends on what type of headcanon it is. I generally try and base my headcanons off solid evidence within his character background and events within the series. If someone doesn’t agree with me, it’s literally not the end of the world and it’s not worth arguing over--we all have out different portrayals and I’m not the original writer lol. If you’re going to get cranky at me because my Jaime enjoys the company of men as well once he’s able to explore himself sexually, then I really couldn’t give a fuck. As a gay man, it helps me enjoy the character a little bit more and identify with him, and I write Jaime as demi anyway. Plus, I also don’t write it in a sense that it’s not something he doesn’t struggle with considering Westeros is not open to such things.
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — same as the above.
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — I don’t actively go looking through Jaime hate tags, so I’ve never run into this? If someone follows me and hates Jaime, then I just think it’s stupid that they followed me in the first place? Obviously now that he’s on a multi, that’s a little bit more complicated, but everyone is free to not interact with him and still interact with my other characters here lol. If I follow someone and then see them actively posting hate about him, I would simply unfollow. That’s it. I’m not here to fight and argue, I’m here to have a good time, and I’m not going to force anyone to enjoy a character they don’t.
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — Mistakes happen, I don’t always look over my reply before posting, and more often then not, I’m tired as hell when I’m writing anyway so there might be errors from time to time. I can guarantee there’s probably some in this meme lol. If a little red squiggle doesn’t come up beneath the word, then I’ve probably not fixed it. In saying that, if you’re coming to me every time I make a typo... I will begin to get annoyed. It’s a small thing, get over it and move on. If you can’t, then maybe I’m not the right person to be writing with if it’s causing you that much stress. If I’ve completely butchered a sentence (which has happened!), then just give me a polite nudge and go “hey did you mean to write this instead?” and I’ll probably feel embarrassed and laugh about it and be like yeah sorry, I meant that :’D
Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — When there’s not a pandemic going on in the world, I’m certainly very easy going, lol. It takes a fair bit to piss me off, and it’s got to be pretty repetitive for me to start going... mmm, there’s a pattern here and I don’t like it. But generally speaking, if you’re nice to me, I’m nice back. I don’t go looking for fights and arguments, and my nature has certainly meant people have abused me in the past. I’m often too empathetic and because I avoid trying to make a fuss and cause confrontation, I often let people do whatever. I’ve... somewhat learned from past experiences to NOT do this to myself, which I guess has made me a little bit less easy going. That and just generally getting older and not having the time to care about petty things might make me come off as a hard arse at times. But look... I’m not going to be a dickhead to anyone who doesn’t deserve it, okay? I get we’re all anxious, I get we’re all curious, I get that we all have opinions. Don’t be a dick and you don’t have anything to worry about. I can sometimes be blunt, but most people learn that that’s just me. Maybe it’s an Aussie thing, maybe it’s a me thing. Probably a combination of the two... my mother always did say I was very blunt. >.> Sometimes that’s a good thing when people want or need advice, but if it’s not what you want to hear, then don’t come asking, because I can be very honest.
#ooc#dash games: Jaime#// I always hate personal questions about me because I'm like I'm not a bad person but sometimes being blunt makes me look like an arse? lol#I dunno... I'm really not a bad person lol#I'm just very awkward XD
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Okays, so this is a big post for me. Most that follow or used to follow me on my old insta or tumblr, whatever aha, knows I have mental health issues. I’m very open about them because I know others struggle too and I want to help them.
What a lot of people don’t know, apart from close people, I’m a self harmer. I have been since 17. It’s always been on and off, sometimes constant, all that. BUT HERES SOME GREAT NEWS RN, for the longest time I think a year, maybe over idk… I’m TWO MONTHS CLEAN OF SELF HARM! Now why am I saying this? Because it’s been a while and people don’t realise it’s an addiction too, like alcohol or drugs and stuff. It’s hard to stop, no matter what. I could kinda make it to a month but it was difficult and I’d likely harm after. Tho today I celebrate two month clean and I’m extremely happy and proud.
I’ve changed a lot and got the better. I’m a lot more happier, I deal with my emotions a million times better, I creat what I love, I’m not really hard on myself anymore and accepted myself for who i am. Even tho some of that took 24 years, it’s fucking worth it because I’m happy with myself!
Also posting this to help others. Yes it’s only two month but atm that’s a long ass time for me and I’m gonna make even more months. Please know you can get through it. I won’t lie, it’s a fking bitch to get through and time and patience but you can get through anything!
I have bipolar ( major depression & anxiety ) and eupd ( emotion unstable personality disorder ) ffs. Loads have left and hurt me. I’ve been is hospital before, I’ve cried myself to sleep, I’ve hurt people ( emotionally ) ofc that never meant to happen but look at me now! I’m happy, I’ve accepted myself, I’m me but better if you get me?
Anyways, I’m so sorry for the long post, if anyone reads though all of this then thank you. I’m just proud! I’m very thankful for the people around me, I don’t have a lot of friends but my god I treasure them! Thank you!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been having depression super bad today. Kept wishing I was dead, visions of nooses and wrists kept popping into my head. I don’t plan on doing anything, Just going through a really tough emotional time atm. I’m not an actively suicidal person, I’m more passive about that type of stuff.
I don’t really want to die, Just wish that I wasn’t in the situation I’m in. Having some really triggering stuff that has to go down in order for me to move forward in life.
It just hurts to know that the person you loved used you as a means to an end. They never meant their vows, never meant the “I Love You”’s that they would say. It’s both sickening and hurtful. The fact that someone can be so detached when a relationship is ending....boggles my mind.
Trying to make an agreement on how things are gonna be split. We don’t own much so it won’t be too bad I hope.
Finally found a little bit of peace towards the end of my shift, Listening to some piano versions of the inuyasha soundtrack brought me some chill vibes. It also helped me to ask help from God. It made me realize just how much I need God now....I need Him to be my strength, wisdom and comfort. Definitely found some peace there...It was nice to try to let things go...to just relax for a short while.
A lot of things are happening all at once and I plan to move back in with my parents by the end of this month. I don’t do well with a ton of change at once...It overwhelms me, I get frustrated and a little emotionally unstable.
I thought I was gonna have a meltdown today but luckily I was able to hold on a little bit.
#welcome to my life#work wasn't bad though#at least I can listen to music while I work#it helps to shut out the bad thoughts#satan would rather see me dead than form a relationship with Jesus#I don't plan on giving him that satisfaction#don't usually have intrusive thoughts like that#just glad that it's gone#vent
1 note
·
View note
Text
Hey so I'm just gonna rant on here for 30 seconds
So I live currently wherever I can, and atm I'm living with my parents. I pay for a good portion of the bills and such so they can support their drinking problem. Low-key I basically own the house. My mother in one her rants just told me I'm a shitty kid because I didn't do the dishes today. That she works her ass off to pay for the house and all this other stuff that just isn't true in the slightest.
She then proceeded to tell me that she's put tracking shit on my phone. I'm 19 years old. I pay for my own phone and all this other bs. So the fact that she told me this is not only invading my privacy, but is completely distroying the little bit of respect I have for her.
I truly believe that mother is a toxic person in my life. Always weighing me down, and putting my self loathing to the top of the scale. She never really means it when she says "I'm sorry" because it never changes. My dad and her get physical in fights, gets physical with me and my younger siblings. But she still brings him back into the house.
My dad is a stressed out angry drunk, and my mother is just unstable. They have friends that truly believe I'm not going anywhere in life, and I'll be stuck with them until the day they die. I pay for 65% of the bills here which is damn near close to 5,000/month.
I'm just tired, and I'm seriously thinking about just ending it. All of it. I'm tired of the constant contact with my parents. The constant arguing. The constant belittling of me and my siblings. My younger sister is finally standing up for herself, and she's finding herself in the same boat as me most days.
They don't get that we're not okay, by any means. That we just want it all to end. I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted...and I don't know how to tell them without the massive blow up it will be when I tell them they are the reason I'm depressed.
Anywho, that's my rant. No need to actually read. It's all good.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
HC: It makes sense, right?
So we all know that after Tony (made a dick move) ... fired Quentin (for being "unstable.") do you think anyone asked Tony what he meant by unstable? Surely, maybe Happy would've...
Did unstable mean emotionally, mentally, both or was Tony just being a huge ass dick about the whole B.A.R.F thing??
But ... After seeing FFH twice now, I believe that maybe Quentin was in fact a mentally unstable man. Like maybe he has a disorder...
When he says, "Mysterio is the truth." his voice changes pitch. I know that was an artistic choice.. But he also said Mysterio.. and not "I am the truth." ...like Quentin IS Mysterio, isn't he? Wouldn't saying "I am the truth." be the same as saying "Mysterio is the truth?"
To me, that made it seem that he believed he was this thing he conjured up. And it's a bit worrying.
> "Ugh, he was talking about how the world needed a hero to believe in."
Yeah, but my point still stands... Like "I" would do just fine... Tony said, "I am Iron man." not, "Tony Stark is Iron man."
It's just weird that he refers to Mysterio as some sort of other being entirely went it's technically (in terms of face, fighting, talking, you get my point-) all him..
>"He says 'Mysterio' as a seperate person because it's a team effort. duh."
But Peter didn't know that... So it's really odd to refer to yourself in 3rd person, no?
To me, it made me think that maybe, at first, Q was Mysterio, yknow, playing the role of a good guy, but something in his brain completely snapped and he truly started to believe that he was the actual, real life, able to touch and not a hologram Mysterio. Like Quentin didn't exist anymore.
I wouldn't say Schizophrenia or DID or anything, but there, imho, is something wrong with Quentin.
> "Okay, but the whole 'I have to kill you and my crew.' and just being a dick is typical Marvel bad guy cliches."
That's true, but no other bad guy got so fucking angry or remotely as defensive as Quentin did when he found out that some 16 year old in Spandex was going to fuck up his roleplaying. Like Quentin got way to angry about it way too quickly. He was literally willing to gun down his whole ass crew just because one dude made a mistake. Normally, the baddie offs the dude who fucked up... Not the whole crew.
I'm not hating on Quentin, he's my favorite mcu character atm.. I'm just trying to figure him out because wtf even is he.
p.s. if you want to throw me in the bin and light my dumb ass on fire, go ahead. lmao im too tired for this being woke thing.
moral of the post: someone please get Quentin some meds or therapy or friends.
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
[[MORE]]
I’m honestly really starting to get upset about how much Jacob’s mom emotionally abuses him and makes him suffer. it literally makes me want to cry when I think about it.
this woman was addicted to meth when Bub was a teenager and was really unstable, pawning him off on different foster families. thank God those families were stable and loved and supported him through all that because those parents ended up being role models for him.
now that Jacob has been living on his own, away from his mom, for so many years, she still manages to control him every day. she calls him multiple times per day and burdens him with all of her piss-poor choices and more or less guilts him if he’s not able to INSTANTLY solve all of her problems.
I will say that she deserves some empathy for what she’s been through herself. she really has had a tough life of suffering and pain, and she’s struggled with addiction, homelessness, health issues, and mental illness. she has issues that Jacob doesn’t even know about probably.
her issues make it so that she can’t work. she is considered disabled by the state. she collects Social Security and disability checks. Jacob took on the responsibility of being her designated payee because she is not mentally “there” enough to control her own finances.
you’d think that this means that Jacob would be able to supervise and counsel her, but no. ironically this allows her to have a lot of control over Jacob. by DEMANDING that he put money on her card so often, she was demanding his immediate time and attention, and it was often coupled with demands about “IT’S MY MONEY, I NEED IT NOW!” there were so many times where Jacob and I would have plans that would be diverted because we had to go by the bank to withdraw the money from her account to put onto her PayPal account that she has a card for. she would often be extremely impatient and would be angry and upset if the ATM were down or whatever.
her emotions are really unpredictable. she has threatened suicide a lot and says that Jacob is her only reason for being on this earth. he knows that what’s best for his mental health is to create distance, but he thinks she might kill herself if he takes that measure.
she’s really nasty to him sometimes and flies off the handle for little reason. she’s said some horrible shit to him even though he’s the ONLY person still in her corner.
it’s absolutely maddening. as much as I think the solution is simple—to become low-contact—I know how hard that is to implement.
with my mom, I grew up dealing with years of emotional abuse. she never threatened suicide or anything, but she was a very unstable parent and would often treat me with cruelty. today I am low-contact with her and my sister has gone years and years with no contact. I know how hard it is to find that balance between keeping that relationship and preserving your mental health.
I think the thing that needs to happen the most is for Jacob’s mom to get some help. she needs therapy and to be on her medications first and foremost. it’ll help her ability to function in everyday life.
all of this affects Jacob in huge ways. his demeanor entirely changes after phone calls with his mom. sometimes she’s okay but sometimes it just drains him to hear from her. she’s his main source of stress and emotional strife. even though she says and does really hurtful things to him, he’s forced to take care of her and baby her. it’s a lot on his shoulders that he’s been having trouble with.
having to bond her out of jail. having to get her out of situations. taking her to the hospital. all of this stuff has only happened within the past week or so.
ugh. I just want him to feel better.
1 note
·
View note
Text
i have never been more emotionally unstable in my whole damn life! i can’t interact with anyone i care about without feeling like i’m dying or going to start crying at any second hahaha life is so good atm damn.
1 note
·
View note
Text
uhhh lol, dubcon fr/stmaster/grandthorki is the ship i will die on, i’ve been waiting for it since 2012, and if u don’t like that, -shrug-
then perish...... lol jk
warning: incoming rant, scroll past if u sensitive and on mobile
seriously, I’m really tired of this attitude that, just because someone doesn’t like something (or just because they do like something at times), that all headcanons to the contrary are suddenly... invalid???
like u can have a divergent opinion about something while also not insulting or undermining the legitimacy of ppl who disagree with you? idk.... it’s a movie....
I HC loki as someone who will endure trauma as a means to an end, someone who is reckless with his own safety if the end game is worth it (or even not worth it at times). And sure he’s cunning and resourceful and smart, but he’s also wildly unstable emotionally. He doesn’t view himself as worthy of good things.
So while sure, he’s more than capable of self-preservation, he also has to think he deserves self-preservation in order to, you know, actually self-preserve. And often, I don’t think he does? Because it’s Just Trauma. it’s Just His Body. it’s Just Pain. it’s Just His Life.
And I’m not pulling this out of my ass!!!! Loki’s continuous traumatic experiences, his emotional instability, and his lack of self-preservation can* be supported throughout the text, guys. For example:
obvious trauma shit that must have happened with Thanos
letting go of Gungnir in the first place
getting himself captured by the Avengers as a distraction for Hawkeye
saving Jane from getting imploded by creepy Dark Elf bomb by almost getting imploded instead (furthermore, did he know thor would save him? probably not... thats some fucked up shit)
letting himself be run through by Kursed in order to save Thor
other examples that I’m too lazy to think atm but might add later
and yessss letting Grandmaster dick him down for a later potential to overthrow
(*Note: I said it can be supported. Not that it is the only way of doin the reading)
So yeah, Loki has a habit of both experiencing trauma at the hands of powerful individuals and letting himself fall into dangerous situations as a means to an end. (Is the Grandmaster a powerful individual? Yes. And Thor’s captivity proves it, too.)
The only thing new about the dubcon Fr/stmaster ship is that the trauma took a considerably sexual turn - that doesn’t make it Not-Trauma. And even the fact that it’s sexual doesn’t come out of left field... Loki molds himself to the situation he’s in, and the Grandmaster is clearly only interested in a Select Number of Things (i.e. sex, gladiator pits, and ppl who can provide resources for the previous two.) Maybe Loki could have done the latter of the three, but again - he has continuously shown that he doesn’t go out of his way to self-preserve. This doesn’t break any pattern, according to how I've headcanoned the text.
In short, you don’t have to like dubcon Fr/stmaster, you can headcanon that Loki would never allow himself to be abused like this and still be valid, but don’t be acting like I’ve pulled shit out of my ass to make it happen because that’s Bullshit tbh. :)
P.S. you can reblog if you want, but I’m not debating with anyone because this was just for venting purposes on the fake privacy of my own blog :P (and if ur needlessly rude, I will block you lol.)
#not tagging as fr/stmaster because i don't want it to show up in the search#lox talks personal#because im pretty much just venting#fandom wank#idk what tag i use#negative#loki#meta#marvel#cw dubcon#grandthorki for ts
29 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
elkukuruzo
Без названия
poojalate
Digital World
boomboxfic
Boombox fic
totaldramararepairweek2023
The One Stop Shop For Rarepairs
gdziejemy
Untitled