#ellis magnolia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youwouldntdownloadapizza · 4 months

Text

The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 3 - The Cabin

masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates

You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.

previous | next

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

rating: 18+, minors DNI

word count: 1.1k

tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding

chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, violence towards children, nightmares

Chapter 3 - The Cabin

By the time you descended the ladder, Joel had everything set up. A clean, if dusty and threadbare, blanket was spread before the fireplace. He’d managed to get the fire going, and while it hadn’t reached a roar, it was plenty hot enough to heat some cans for dinner.

“What are you in the mood for?” Joel asked, gesturing between two cans with a pilfered can opener. “I’ve got alphabet soup or beefy ravioli.”

“Ravioli, please,” you said decisively, taking a seat beside him on the blanket. It took a second of him staring at you expectantly for you to realize he was holding out your selection. You took it and dug in.

“Holy shit,” you nearly moaned, the zing of 20-year-old marinara a delight to tired taste buds.

“That good, huh?” Joel asked.

You nodded–yeah, it was really that good.

“Maybe Ellie’s onto something,” he chuckled, digging into his own dinner. You cocked an eyebrow. He elaborated, “She’s big on Chef Boyardee, too. Who knew he’d have so many fans in the apocalypse?”

“I don’t know,” you joked. “Fungal pandemics come and go, but pasta is forever.”

He laughed mid-chew, snorting so effusively a J-shaped piece of pasta landed at your feet.

“Huh,” you said. “J for Joel.”

You ate the rest of your food in relative silence, the levity of the first few bites subsiding once you realized how hungry you truly were.

A few minutes later, you set your empty can on the hearth with a clatter. “I’m gonna turn in.”

Joel nodded. “I’ll take first watch. Good night, Doe.”

“Night, Joel.”

Upon further inspection, the puke-covered couch appeared to convert into a mostly unscathed bed. It felt almost wrong to tuck yourself beneath such cozy bedding in your filthy patrol clothes. Especially since you had to be ready to spring into action at any moment, which meant your shoes stayed on too. But it’s not like there were other options. You lay your head atop the impossibly fluffy pillow, and let your eyes fall shut. Before you knew it, you were asleep.

* * *

You only ever saw Steffy in your dreams anymore. Your baby sister had been there for the collapse of the Salt Lake City QZ, escaping alongside you. But somewhere between fleeing and finding yourself at the gates of Jackson, you’d lost her. You’re not sure what happened exactly, but the dread in the pit of your stomach left no room for wondering: Steffy was dead.

She was alive right now, though. You were little again, sitting on the terracotta tiles of your Aunt Suzie’s back porch. It was summer, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the magnolia tree above you.

While the adults grilled, you and Steffy had a tea party. All the best dolls were invited, teddy bears too. Even Steffy’s favorite, a bedraggled rat plushie named Ratty.

“Ratty wants Earl Grey,” Steffy said, holding out a tiny teacup and saucer.

“Why, of course,” you replied in a bad British accent, pretending to pour him a cup.

Steffy made Ratty drink the whole cup in one gulp. “Dee-licious.”

You giggled. She giggled. It was contagious, the two of you devolving into downright guffaws when you noticed the adults’ chatter had stopped. Looking over your sister’s shoulder, your face fell.

“What’s wrong?” Steffy asked with a tilt of her head.

You wanted to tell her to run. You wanted to tell her to get behind you, that something was wrong. But you were frozen.

That’s when the clicker sunk its teeth into her neck.

You woke with a start, flailing wildly, arm connecting with something hard, something that let out an ‘oof’ in response. Joel. You had hit Joel. Based on the proximity, you guessed he was trying to wake you.

“Sorry,” you panted, heart still racing from your dream. “Time for my watch?”

“No,” you could barely make out the shake of his head against what was left of the dying firelight. “It’s only been a couple hours. You were flailin’ about, looked like you were having a nightmare.”

“Oh,” you said. “Thank you. I’m fine now.”

“If you’re sure,” he said. “I’m here, y’know. If you want to… talk about it, or anything.”

You were still shaky. Your heart was still going so fast. But you weren’t about to discuss your dead sister with Joel Miller.

“I’m fine.” You doubled down, softer than you meant to.

“Okay,” he backed off, returning to his spot leaned up against the fireplace, eyes on the door.

Minutes passed, and your heart was still racing. Your hand throbbed, and you wondered how hard you’d hit Joel. Hopefully not hard enough to leave a mark.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” you said softly through the darkness.

“It’s fine, Doe. You were dreaming.”

You hated the way he brushed away your concerns, the way he gave you grace. In your experience, people rarely let others off the hook, not really. There was always some resentment that lingered.

If you were going to owe him, you might as well really owe him.

“Joel?” you asked.

“Hm?”

“I can’t sleep,” you confessed.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do about that.”

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself to ask for what you wanted. “Will you cuddle with me? It’s not you, it’s just…I need another person. We’re safe here, we don’t need a watch, not really. And I need you.”

“Thought you said it wasn’t personal.”

“It’s not,” you bristled. “But I thought it would be nice.”

“Never said it wouldn’t be, sweetheart.”

You lay there expectantly for what felt like ages. Then, finally, you heard the squeak of old floorboards under his boots, and felt the squish of the mattress as he climbed onto it beside you. You found a position easily, one arm beneath your head, his other loosely draped across your waist.

Your heart slowed marginally, but your breathing remained fast and light.

“Relax, sweetheart. You gotta breathe.”

“I can’t–” you started. He cut you off with a hand to your stomach.

“You can.” He pulled you back against him gently, not so tight you were crushed, but just enough for you to feel the expanding and contracting of his own breath against your back. “Breathe with me, alright?”

You nodded with a shuddering breath. He tapped your stomach lightly with his thumb. You matched his inhale, breathing deeply and resenting the fact that this shit works every goddamn time. Within a few minutes, you were calm. Or as calm as you were going to get, anyway.

“I get them too, you know,” Joel admitted.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You were still pulled close against him, neither of you having made a move to scramble apart once your breathing returned to normal. At his admission, you relaxed into him fully, taking his free hand in yours.

Before you knew it, you were asleep once more, dreamless and deep, held safe and secure in the warmth of Joel’s embrace.

previous | next

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller series #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou #joel x reader #joel x you #no use of y/n #joel miller x f!reader #jackson era #joel lives #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

98 notes · View notes

auteurdelabre · 4 months

Note

I don’t know if you take requests but I love your writing and I’m dying for a slow burn in post outbreak Jackson. Joel and fem reader strangers to friends to eventual lovers. Reader is in love with Joel from the beginning and is like him strong silent type but with a heart of gold. Lots of pinning and then a surprise when it turns out Joel pines for her too and Tommy and Ellie know that he loves her. Maybe some jealousy thrown in before soft dom Joel to sub reader smut. Then a snippet of them together after confession of love so you can hear what other towns folk think about them. Anyway, if you don’t take asks that’s totally cool and I look forward to reading whatever you write! :)

EDIT: I DID THE DAMN THING.

rating: 18+

words: 4.1k

a/n: I hope you like this @ashleyfilm.

Joel’s Eyes

The autumn chill of Jackson City winds around the sleepy hamlet nestled snugly within the Wyoming landscape. The open window allows a breeze to ruffle the blankets on the end of the bed, your body moving rhythmically over his. He holds you by the hips, fingertips dimpling your flesh as you ride him; thighs spread wide and whimpers falling like snow over his body. His dark eyes stay fixed on you, his smile gentle as he encourages you to keep going.

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs. “You keep goin’, baby. Just like that.”

It’s been three years since Joel and Ellie arrived and set up their permanent home. A snug rancher with a garage for Ellie to convert to her teenage heart’s content. Three years since his lie to her that still sat somewhere wedged behind his sternum, but a lie he could ignore over drinks at the Tipsy Bison or hours spent carving in his shed out back.

It’s been eleven months since you arrived with your brother and his husband to Jackson. Living in the Denver QZ was nothing compared to the wide-open spaces of Wyoming. The food was plentiful, the community kind and warm.

Your brother Anthony gripped Hank’s hand a little tighter as they were shown one of the available houses on Magnolia Street. A sweet little spot with two bedrooms and bright windows. Maria and Tommy mentioned that there was another space for you as well if you wanted to look at it, a one bedroom one street over. You’d been thrown at the concept, having lived with your brother your entire life.

You didn’t want that to change. You didn’t trust the bright endless sky above you. Didn’t trust the neighbors that smiled without sharp fangs. It didn’t feel quite real to ask for bread and not have to give a part of yourself in return. You were wary of everything.

The first night you watched the moon rise from the window of your very own bedroom with its soft bedding and firm pillows. Despite the comfort of your surroundings there was an ache, a loneliness you couldn’t understand.

You were out of the house most days, feeling like a burden to your brother and his endlessly patient husband. It made you seek out Maria and ask where you could volunteer your time in a quiet voice. You needed to give back to this place that gave you plentiful nutritious food and a warm bed.

She’d been eager to show you the different spots in town; the kitchen, the old church, the textile room, the library. You wanted to see everything, barely speaking, and all big eyes on the landmarks she pointed out with Tommy’s hand in hers.

“These are the stables,” she told you as you ambled after them. “They get taken care of by those that do the patrols.”

You nodded as you glanced around the large space, eyes falling on the different colored horses inside. Many were leaning over the wooden gates, eager at the new faces and hoping for a treat. One with a diamond pattern on its forehead intrigued you into reaching a hand out to pet it. It huffed warm air along your bare palm, its whiskers scouring lifelines for a nibble. A husky voice accompanied shuffled boots in your direction.

“New patrolee?”

“Nah just showing her around,” Tommy’s voice replied.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a broad-shouldered man with warm but serious eyes and dark curls threaded with grey that fell just below his ears. The minute you saw him it was like Cupid himself came down to spear you brutally between the ribs. A sharp sting that sent you backwards a step, the breath knocked out of you.

A sensation wholly new to you overtook your body. The nerves that had been choking you suddenly dissipated, leaving you warm and strangely calm.

Joel gave you a sharp nod before heading into a pen marked “Glimmer”. Your eyes stayed on his frame until he receded from view. The mere sight of his soulful eyes had made your breathing come out in tiny huffs that gave Maria an amused pause.

“That’s Joel,” she offered casually, though her glance to Tommy was anything but. “His brother.”

“Oh.”

You didn’t offer more than that.

But you did come back to the stables the next day and the day after that. You brought in feed and mucked out stalls. You did this all with the same solemnity that was in your nature. You met new people but rarely offered your smile to them. You didn’t trust that it would be accepted or handled with care.

But there was no Joel.

It wasn’t until you’d been doing it a week that you saw him again. He was guiding Glimmer into her pen and he looked exhausted. You had always kept to yourself out of the way, but something about Joel’s presence carried your feet in his direction. It made you hover near the pens and hold out your hand for the reins.

“I’ll take her,” you offered quietly.

Joel moved by you, his eyes not casting in your direction, his attention all on the horse. Immediately you felt the sour sting of public humiliation. A teen girl had entered the space after Joel and she saw the altercation.

“Don’t be upset,” she said. “He’s like that with everyone after patrols. He’s just tired.”

“Thanks,” you muttered, cheeks still warm.

“I’m Ellie,” the girl said, brushing a hand down the horse’s ribs with a playful tilt of her lips. “Who the fuck are you?”

Ellie was funny and warm and she was Joel’s daughter. She told you bits and pieces of their past and you didn’t push for more. You were quiet and thoughtful and Ellie told her you reminded her of Joel. This though amused and then delighted you, stuck on the idea of some invisible connection between you and the taciturn man.

You didn’t know why you felt drawn to him, you simply did. Not for the protection he could bring, not because every woman in town seemed besotted with him, not because he was handsome. But because from that first day there had been something in his eyes that called to you and that you desperately wanted to answer. A feeling of peace that you hadn’t felt in years. Safety.

When you passed him in town you thought you saw a lingering glance in your direction, but you knew that it was an idea nursed in delusion. This was a one-sided affection but you didn’t mind. After years of bad relationships in the QZ and the terror of travelling, having a harmless crush felt fun. A concept that was foreign and yet welcomed.

So you watched Joel Miller from behind the pens when he brought Glimmer in after patrols. You watched him when he and Ellie ate in the dining hall together, Ellie cracking jokes while one corner of Joel’s pouty mouth curled into a smirk. You watched him help building the new homes in town and if your eyes connected it was always you who looked away first with your pulse spiking.

It was three months before you spoke to Joel again, this time a simple “excuse me” when you bumped into him at one of the movie nights. The film had ended and you’d been making your way through the crowd before he stopped suddenly in front of you. Your hands flew to his chest, warm and taut under your fingers. He responded with a soft grunt, hands coming to grip your elbows. His touch was fleeting before he was nodding and shifting past you into the crowd while your heart hammered in your ribcage.

It was five months before he spoke a full sentence to you. “Can you put her away?” in response to Glimmer. You’d nodded, still not trusting yourself to speak in his presence after the first interaction. When his fingers brushed yours to pass you the reins you felt it tingle through your entire body. You couldn’t look in his face, convinced he would see the way your pupils had turned heart-shaped because how could they not have done so?

You tried to find reasons to bring up Joel in conversation with your brother and Hank, desperate to learn more about him from someone other than Ellie. Did they know Joel Miller? Neither of them did. Anthony let a small smirk cross his features when you asked, but it was Hank that answered.

“Don’t run in the same circles,” Hank shrugged. “I hear he’s tough though.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, good with a gun too.”

“Hmmm.”

That night you waited until the rest of the house was asleep before thrusting your fingers between your thighs. You brought yourself to a muffled yet toe-curling orgasm at the image of Joel, gun raised, protecting you.

It was six months of living in Jackson before Ellie had Joel’s hand in hers, dragging him over to where you sat eating breakfast in the dining hall alone. You’d been trying to covertly watch Joel while eating your pancakes and the ever receptive Ellie had obviously had enough.

“I thought it was time you two actually talked,” she said with an eye roll before stomping off. You felt your cheeks heating up, convinced that now everyone could see your obvious feelings for her Dad. Joel looked equally thrown, his eyes going everywhere but yours. Finally he cleared his throat, nodding at you.

“I’m Joel.”

“I know.”

You winced at both the breathy tone and the blunt of your reply. You introduced yourself, swallowing when Joel’s lips curled into a small smirk, his eyes finally landing on yours.

“I know.”

Then he’d walked off, sauntering away back to his table and your clamped your thighs together tightly under the table. He knew your name? You immediately inflated at the thought that he’d asked around about you before remembering that Ellie had probably told him. She was one of the few people you interacted with here in Jackson. Keeping to yourself felt safer. But being in Joel’s eye line felt safest.

It was eight months when Joel sat next to you at the bar top of the Tipsy Bison. You had a bottle of something sickly sweet and potent in your grip. It was your third of that evening and you had moved from pleasant buzz all the way into the beginning stages of drunkenness.

Earlier that night Anthony and Hank had looked at you across the dining table with painted on smiles.

“Maria was saying that they’ve done a lot of building. You could probably get your own place if you wanted,” Anthony said it kindly, not insisting one way or the other. Hank smiled warmly over the dining table, but you saw the hope there in his eyes. A home for just them and you wanted to give them that. They deserved it.

You’d nodded emphatically, telling them of course and that the idea excited you when in truth the concept terrified you. Being alone all the time? You knew you were safe within this haven of a town, but there were still the nightmares.

But in that fear there was a thrill of the unknown. Of having a place to call your own. But who to share it with? You’d had the built in company of your brother and Hank. You knew next to no one in this town. No one made you feel safe except for the man you barely spoke to.

Your conversation with them drove you to the Bison, needing a distraction from your distress. When you glanced up to see Joel Miller sliding into the barstool beside you it had taken all your drunken self control not to confess that his eyes were the most beautiful things you’d ever seen. Dark brown, like warm molasses that you desperately wished would drip over you.

He ordered a whiskey, hands folded on the gleaming wood of the bar. He tilted his face in your direction as he waited to be served, a light smile on his lips as he spied the three empty bottles in front of you.

“You doin’ okay?”

“Mhmm.” You nodded at your sweating bottle, fingertip tracing over the trail of a fallen droplet.

“Don’t see you around the stables much anymore.”

This surprised you, having assumed that Joel didn’t notice you one way or another. Up this close you could see the freckles on his neck, could smell the wood from his carvings (thanks Ellie for that info), and whatever scent made him uniquely Joel in your olfactory opinion.

“They moved me to kitchen duty.”

“Oh.”

He brought his drink to his lips and full of liquid courage a thought bubbled forth and turned into a question thrown at his feet.

“Why’d you ignore me the first time I talked to you, Joel?”

Joel’s brow quirked at that, not seeing the connection from one conversation topic to the next. Your cheeks burned at the memory of him walking by you, not even sparing a glance. Joel turned his broad body towards you, hand dangerously close to yours resting atop the wood bar top.

“When was that?”

“That first day in the stables. I said I’d put Glimmer in the pen.”

Joel looked thoughtfully into middle distance, brows drawn.

“I didn’t even know you said anything. You talk so damn quiet.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t mind it,” Joel told you quickly, his body twisting away as he continued drinking. “Everyone else is so loud around here.”

As it to emphasize such a statement a loud braying group of men guffawed over cards. You and Joel exchanged an amused look before going back to your respective drinks. The secret moment made you feel warm.

You’d excused yourself quickly after that, tilting the remaining dregs of your beer into your mouth and then stumbling out of the bar. You’d just stepped out the door preparing for your journey home when you spotted Anthony looking harried.

“I was looking for you everywhere,” he said with concern, jogging over to you. “Since when do you get drunk?”

“Decided to try it out,” you slurred, a sloppy grin bleeding across your face. “I like it.”

Anthony laughed before slipping an arm around your waist. You leaned into him, breathing in the crisp night air deeply as you two stumbled towards home.

“Why’re you here, Tony?”

“You left so quickly earlier,” Anthony replied in a soft murmur, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “I just need you to know that there’s no rush about the m-“

“Get your hands off her.”

You’d both turned, startled by the snarled shout coming from behind you. Your bleary eyes took in Joel’s hand whipping out in front of him, gripping Anthony’s sweatshirt in his hand and hauling him away from you. With a drunken slur you tried to catch his attention, but Joel had already pressed Anthony up against the wood side of the building.

“Joel!” you shouted. “What’re-“

“She’s drunk,” Joel barked into Anthony’s face. “And you’re here tryin’ to make a move?”

“No!” Anthony shouted eyes wide with terror.

“You don’t get to touch her,” Joel growled and for the first time since you arrival you saw the ruthless killer people whispered about in his wake.

Anthony was up close to see the narrowing of Joel’s eyes, the baring of his teeth and he could only grip Joel’s wrist in supplication.

“She’s my sister!”

Joel’s gaze widened and then darted over his shoulder to yours for confirmation. All you could do was nod miserably as you watched Joel lower your brother to the ground as if he weighed nothing.

Before you could say anything to either party Joel had mumbled an apology and taken off into the night, his long legs slicing through the air. You expect Anthony to be furious or at least scared, but as he brushes down his sweater he’s smiling at you.

“What?”

“So that’s Joel.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged with embarrassment. Anthony was almost laughing.

“He likes you.”

Your head rose abruptly from where you’d had it hung over your sternum. “He doesn’t.”

“He does. He was all protective of you.”

“He doesn’t,” you insist unsteadily even though everything in your body is coming alive at the idea. “That’s just Joel, I think.”

But Anthony doesn’t let up. He teases you mercilessly about it for two weeks. Two weeks in which you have replayed that moment over and over in the confines of your bedroom. You don’t get to touch her. You don’t get to touch her. You don’t get to touch her.

And at the end of two weeks and no sign of Joel you found his address from Ellie and marched to his house.

You give a sharp rap on the door, shocked when it flies open and a grumpy looking Joel takes up the entire doorframe. He looks like he’s been recently awoken and it makes your core twitch. Seeing Joel all sleepy and soft makes you want to curl into him.

“Hi Joel.”

His sweet molasses eyes land on you, widening in surprise. The irritation there flees immediately and is replaced with gentle surprise.

“How do you know where I live?” Joel asks in a quiet rasp with his brows knitting together.

“Ellie.”

You’ve never been a loud talker and now with Joel’s beautiful face in front of you, this moment is no exception. Joel leans forward a fraction, ear tilted towards you.

“Wassat?”

"Ellie."

"Oh, a' course."

He gives a breathless chuckle as his dark eyes scan over your shoulder, surveying the neighborhood to see if you're alone. He rocks back on his heels, reminding you of a chastised child.

"Look, I'm real sorry about what happened with your brother," he says and observing the way he's bracing himself you think he assumes you're here to dress him down. The thought takes you by surprise before amusing you.

"Why did you?"

Joel stares at you a beat, acutely surprised by your sudden confidence.

"Was worried he was a stranger," Joel finally mutters. "And I didn't like some strange guy touchin' you."

You're shocked to see pink rising to his tanned cheeks. It makes you feel bolder; it makes you take a step towards Joel on his porch. It makes you speak a little louder, a little bolder.

"Why?"

His gaze drags from the ground, taking its time to travel from your feet to your eyes.

"You mean it ain't obvious?" He exhales slowly, looking defeated. “Cuz… your mine.”

You feel as your body jerks to life at this simple statement. The possessiveness in his tone, the desire, the hope all mixing into one incredibly potent cocktail.

“I mean, I want you to be mine,” he amends quickly, licking his dried lips nervously.

You can't help reach out a hand to touch his chest, palm flat. You feel his heartbeat there, fluttering like a trapped bird in a strong cage. Joel swallows, his gaze going from your hand back to your searching eyes on his.

"I didn't know you liked me," you say in a hush to his sternum. "I didn't-"

"The day you got here," Joel confesses in haste. "The second I saw you...Somethin' just... clicked."

Your heart sings, making your pupils grow large in your eyes as you stare up at Joel. His large hand cups your cheek, thumb dragging over your bottom lip. You hold in a shiver as his eyes shutter.

"Haven't been able to get you outta my head since then."

"I felt it too," you say quickly, your hand sliding up to his shoulder as you step closer to him. "The moment I saw your eyes."

Those very eyes dart back and forth between your own, looking for guile, looking for deception. When they find none, they shine again with that sweet warm cinnamon color gazing back at you.

"I'm not a good person,” he says in a voice that sounds tired and broken. A voice of regret and life lived. His warm hand drops from your cheek and he takes a step backwards into his house, away from your touch. “I've done a lot of terrible shit.”

You grip his hand in yours, guiding it back until it cups your cheek again. He allows this, even welcomes it. He stands watching as you nuzzle into his palm, eyes closing as you bask in the warmth of his touch. Joel feels his feet stepping forward again, drawing near to you and this feeling you bring out in him.

You open your eyes and reach up above his shoulder. He allows your fingers trap one of the curls below his ear, testing the smooth texture, seeing the browns and grays mixing together and reveling that you’re finally touching Joel Miller. He has your face in both his hands now, holding you delicately.

“I don’t deserve ya,” he whispers.

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Well I says I want you," you say smirking a moment after hearing it out loud.

You've always been so quiet and serious. Right now there's almost a levity in how you look at Joel and he finds he likes it. A lot. His face breaks into a broad grin and you're amazed at how it transforms his face from austere to boyish. It makes you sigh, angling your body closer to his.

"I wanted you the second I saw you, Joel. I can't explain it." Your hands lace behind his neck. 'Being around you makes me feel-."

"Safe," he finishes for you.

When you nod he does the same, eyes scanning yours. You take a moment, hearts beating in tandem before he pulls you into his arms, mouth pressing to yours. The kiss is everything you’d hoped; warm and soft and sweet. It wraps you up in a cocoon of safety built with lust and comfort.

And now its eleven months and you live in your own home. It’s a street over from Joel’s and you take turns staying over at each other’s places. You also take turns cooking every night but it’s always done at Joel’s kitchen, often with Ellie offering unsolicited opinions from her space at the table where she sketches and makes retching noises when Joel kisses you. When you all eat together each night in the Miller kitchen there’s lots of laughing and shared stories and and if Ellie’s getting on Joel’s nerves he makes sure to kiss you heaps just to gross her out.

Despite how they first met, Anthony is one of Joel’s biggest fans with Hank following close behind. The three of them go fishing some weekends, coming back singing drunkenly with a chest full of fish. It makes you laugh with your whole body.

Maria and Tommy are the first to say what was already known during your first dinner together with them, “Fucking finally. You know how long this asshole was pining after you?” much to a red-faced Joel’s chagrin.

The first time Joel takes you to bed everything is slow slow slow. He wants to see your face, wants to make sure you feel good. He won’t chase his pleasure until yours has been sated first and often more than once with his tongue, his fingers, his cock. When he groans his release it rumbles through his chest and echoes through into your ribcage. It makes you feel connected, like one body, one set of lungs, one heart.

When you first walk into town with Joel’s hand wrapped around yours the people don’t seem particularly shocked. Joel and you make sense to them, so similar in your quiet intensity, your serious dispositions. But when you’re behind closed doors and secret smiles are shared between you and him, the warmth of the moment invades your heart.

It makes you whisper “I love you,” into his jaw as he sheaths himself between your legs. It makes him murmur “Fell in love the moment I saw you,” in your ear. And it makes you cry when a few years later you feel your belly swell with new life.

And when your child is born you thank the entities above for giving her Joel’s eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

original answer to the ask:

I love reading requests but unfortunately I can't do them all! I kinda just write what the muses tell me to. Plus this sounds like a big, long story (which honestly sounds beautiful) but I have so many WIP's that I don't think I would get to this one. However, I might take this and adapt it into a short story for you if you want? (And if I can!)

fuckin' muses, eh?

#joel miller tlou #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fic #soft!joel miller #soft!joel #joel x reader #smut #light smut #short story #one shot

133 notes · View notes

enretrogue · 5 months

Text

𝗔𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗟 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 𝗙𝗜𝗖 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗦 (𝟮)

.☘︎ ݁˖ = BLACK/POC WORKS | 23' FIC REC M.LIST

TLOU

ELLIE WILLIAMS

Fun and Games (Mother Figure!Reader) (+ Joel Miller) — @coolgrl111

JOEL MILLER

The Weight of His Care (+ Sarah Miller) — @prentissluvr

Daddy Issues — @alien-magnolia

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve ⎢ 2 ⎢ 3 ⎢ 4 ⎢ 5 ⎢ 6 — @mayipleasehavebread

DBF!Joel x Humiliation Kink — @chaotic-mystery

Silence Can Never Be Bought, Only Rented ⎢ 2 — @toxicanonymity

Relief In Destruction — @ay0nha

500 Followers Special — @be4rchived

Don’t Know Much ⎢ 2 ⎢ 3 — @meganwritesfanfics

Sharing the Night — @miyagifangkai

Choking on You — @magicaloneandmystery

A Fool For You — @supernaturalgirl20

Where It All Starts ⎢ 2 ⎢ 3 ⎢ 4 ⎢ 5 ⎢ 6 ⎢ 7 ⎢ 8 ⎢ 9 ⎢ 10 ⎢ 11 ⎢ 12 ⎢ 13 ⎢ 14 ⎢ 15 — @finnsbubblegum

And Lover, Be Good To Me — @bi-bard

Good — @atinylittlepain

Relief — @lavendertales

Night Walks ⎢ 2 ⎢ Before Night Walks — @toxicanonymity

Who Do You Belong To Mr. Miller? — @tightjeansjavi

Sleeping Beauty — @toxicanonymity

The Boss’ Bunny — @talaok

Darling Don’t You Cry — @pagesfromthevoid

Mr. Right Next Door — @jobean12-blog

It Will Come Back — @mellowswriting

Cruel Summer ⎢ 2 ⎢ 3 ⎢ 4 ⎢ 5 ⎢ 6 — @proxima-writes

Raider: Stash House — @toxicanonymity

Marked Me Like A Bloodstain — @oliviajdjarin

In a Pinch — @atinylittlepain

Dark!Joel Drabble — @ozarkthedog

Bittersweet — @josephquinnswhore

Daisy, Give Me An Answer — @dilf-din

Rough — @bbypedrito

Car Sex w/ DBF!Joel — @itgetsdark-x

Can’t Break A Promise — @toxic-seduction

Taken It Easy — @toxic-seduction

Joel’s Flannel — @livyjh

In My Hometown — @swiftispunk

Long Nights, Soft Days — @stvrgxsm

Take This Moment (+ Ellie Williams) — @mylostloversbookmarks

#navigation

41 notes · View notes

homesweetgoodneighbor · 4 months

Text

Conversation the should've happened if Hancock is your companion when you go to probe Kellogg's memories at the Memory Den:

Hancock, highly concerned: You're not really gonna do this.

Sole, getting prepped: I don'thave much of a choice. I thought you liked the Memory Pods.

Hancock: That is remembering a fun time with Magnolia because I know the real thing can break me. Not traipsing through a killer's brain.

Sole: Again, not sure what choice I have.

Hancock, staring at Doc Amari: I reserve the right to yank the plug if this shit gets too intense.

Amari: You know yanking the plug is ridiculously dangerous...

Hancock, glaring: You Know What I Mean.

Sole: Shouldn't you be saying that to me?

Nick: Or me?

Hancock: Neither of you will be able to judge.

Sole, taking his hand: The fact you care this much will bring me back.

Nick, taking Hancock's other hand: Ditto.

---------‐-‐--------

I am fully onboard the Nick and Ellie ship, but there is zero reason there can't be a polycule or two people reassuring Hancock that his concern matters. How often does that ever occur in his life?

#fallout 4 #fo4 #conversations #hancock #nick valentine #sole survivor

51 notes · View notes

chadfallout76podcast · 2 months

Text

Stephen Russell is BACK as Detective Nick Valentine in a new original story that takes place after the event of Death Shroud!

Amazing, amazing artwork by @rad-roche

114 notes · View notes

magnoliathefool · 6 months

Text

@ellistocracy is experiencing some technical difficulties

#magnolia grandiflora #(posted w permission)#ellis tag

6 notes · View notes

thedanishsim · 4 months

Text

A new year, but first ...

Time moves fast, and right now I feel like it was only yesterday that we jumped into 2024, but.. January is already gone, and before we get too far into the new year, I want to do a quick recap on how 2023 went for our little team!

2023 has been a busy year for Mia. Luckily, Olive decided to join in with a helping hand, not only with the horses, but also with Ellie, which has been giving Mia a bit more time to focus on the training and the shows. A new Show Jumping Circuit showed its ‘face’ this year, which gave Mia a few more opportunities to travel with the horses. Candlelight is still a young horse, he’s only turning 7 this year, and with all the power he has inside his body (and mind), he still has a lot to learn. Mia has taken it slow with him this year and tried not to press him too much in the show arenas. He has lots of potential, but he needs some more routine before we want to move him up in the classes. During the spring-months Mia took both Ballerine and Candlelight to California and then next to Stockholm for the CWT Shows. Candlelight did some very good rounds, finishing 1st in his class in California and 3rd in Stockholm. Sadly, after returning home after both shows, we saw a bit of stress with Candlelight, and decided that he wouldn’t be joining us for the CTJL Monaco show at the end of summer. We want to take good care of our horses, and if that means that we are only bringing them for smaller, local shows, well, that’s what we will do. With Mia away for some of the bigger shows, Olive took over the daily training of Candlelight, which showed a big change in Candlelight’s behavior; Olive is a really talented rider, but she doesn’t have the biggest experiences as a show-rider, but seeing Candlelight changing from one big firecracker to a gentle giant with Olive, led to Mia making a decision to let Olive take over the reins full-time. Olive and Candlelight participated in a few local shows at the end of the year, and they actually finished 3rd in the local championship! We are so very proud of both of them, and Olive has already agreed on trying out for a few bigger shows this year, as long as they still stay in the lower levels.

Mia and Ballerine had a fantastic year! We started the year off with the CWT shows, where Ballerine finished 2nd in her classes in both California and Stockholm. At the end of the summer, Mia went to probably the biggest show of the year, the CTJL show in Monaco. Mia was filled up with nerves and almost started to reconsider why the heck she decided to be a show jumping rider, but during their final round, Ballerine showed her why by being the very best friend Mia could ever have wanted in her life. Ballerine was such a pro as always, keeping Mia safe, and did a flawless round, which brought them to the top of the podium in the 1.30m. class!

With the new circuit this year, the Kuse Jumping Tour, running with qualifications during the whole year, Mia and Ballerine gathered enough points to qualify for the finals in December! This time Mia had backup from the whole team consisting of her mom and Ellie, Olive and her trainer, Ryan O’Neil. The team went to Oliva, Spain, for the finals - and what a wait to end the year; coming in 1st in their class, and ending in 2nd place on the class-leaderboard, and 7th place on the overall leaderboard for the KJT! We are so very proud, and we hope to see the KJT on the calendar again soon!

2023 also brought an extension to the team: Magnolia’s Valerie - our sweet young Hanoverian dressage-mare, bred by Mia’s aunt. Valerie joined our team back in the summer. In September, The Hanoverian Association hosted a wonderful Grading-show in Georgia, and since Georgia is also our home-base, Mia decided to take Valerie to the show. This was a huge success with Valerie being placed 1st in her division and awarded with the highest title possible - the Premium title!

Since Mia is a former dressage rider, and was given the opportunity to get back in the dressage arenas with Valerie, Mia took a big chance at the end of the year. Valerie had only been in the stable for 4 months, but with the talent and huge improvements she showed every single day in their daily training, Mia decided to ‘go all or nothing’. Just before going to Oliva, Spain, for the KJT Finals with Ballerine, Mia entered the DWBCYH - Dressage World Breeding Championship for Young Horses! The competition was held over a few days with a qualification round, and the Final where the new World Champion for 4, 5, 6 and 7 years old horses would be found. And what a show it turned out to be! Placing 1st in their qualification round with a score of 89.024% gave them a ticket straight into the Final round. Somehow Mia felt at peace before their round, and when their score was announced, the tears started to roll down her face: 93.902% - and winner of the title as World Champion for the 4 years old dressage horses! This score also turned out to be the only score during the whole show to be over 90%!

We are so pleased with how 2023 went - and with some small changes to the team-structure, and a new face, who will be introduced soon, we are more than ready to bring our A-game into 2024!

A big thank you to all the show hosts of the shows in 2023 - we have enjoyed participating in the shows, and we are hoping to see your shows again this year! Also a big thank you to the breeders of our horses - without your trust in us to take care of these amazing animals, we wouldn’t be where we are today! ❤️✨

@katrinbergling @calveroterranorasj @madiwx @plotsandplumbobs @itssimplythesims @equialitysims

#thedanishsim #the sims 3 #ts3 #sims3 #simblr #sims story #oc: mia #mia's diary #twinbrook #o'neil equestrian #ts3 horses #ts3 equestrians #ts3 pictures #ts3 simblr #sims 3 screenshots #sims 3 #equus sims #equality sims

20 notes · View notes

forthegothicheroine · 6 months

Text

Best Fragrantica reviews of (some of) my favorite perfumes, Part II

First installment here

Maison Martin Margiela By the Fireplace

Careful not to be worn by this perfume instead of being you the wearer. Not that it is oh so powerful, but it may be too bold of a statement piece for, ahem, some. Wearing BTF when you don't look the part and don't give it sense will have you smelling borderline unhealthy. Like your organs inside have worn off and darkened (and burned out, I guess). Truly as weird as it sounds. The raw thing smells very exciting. I love it ashy. I don't see myself daring any soon, however. And I don't find that it worked for the men I know either, as they have (and I cringe to say) whiter auras and don't fit the "handling cognac by the fire" thing. So I've yet to see it really work, which I'm sure will be great. It's a lovely perfume.

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab Bewitched

This is the smell of a witch's brew. She made a special tea for you to drink. You pass out. When you awaken you find yourself in her garden full of poisonous berries, patchouli, weeds, clary sage, and flowers whose petals have been plucked. This is an herbal scent, like walking inside a shop selling only herbs. It's medicinal and like a tea. Not always easy to take in...The smell of sage and musk give it a unisex/masculine quality. I would say that it's more of a guy's type of cologne than a woman's. I would wear it for Halloween with a witch costume or as Morticia Addams. It's really a very engaging scent but it's linear and simple. It's a little green tea and berry. It's got a bite but it's witchy and dark, but not a strong cologne either. For a niche indie frag, not bad.

TokyoMilk Gin & Rosewater

I was in a boutique that carries the Tokyo Milk Curiosite & Bon Bon lines, and I was entranced by this. Florals are not usually my thing, by the way, because I get monster headaches from most of them. Suddenly the salesgirl is RIGHT NEXT TO ME leaning in conspiratorially and says in an awed tone that 'Blake Lively LOVES this one'. OMFG, Blake Lively, you say??!? Like for serious, the real Blake Lively?? OMFG, do you have like, more in the back?!? I'm totally going to buy every bottle you can shove in my basket because BLAKE LIVELY would hang out with me if we ran into each other and then my life could end. Um, not. I almost DIDN'T buy it because of the salesgirls then going into a tizzy about how amazing Blake is. I could not care less, although I'm sure Lively is nice enough. But it did smell cool, so home with me it came, along with the matching lotion.

Serge Lutens La Fille de Berlin

It’s an overwhelming fragrance that smells like the bottom of my grandma’s small square leather purse when we went to mass (her old dried up lipstick💄 the powder compact, the newspaper, the pack of strawberry-ish scented kleenex, the peppermints). It’s vintage, it’s a bit suffocating and I have it printed in my memory 4 ever.

Juliette Has a Gun Magnolia Bliss

Anastasia Steele, no longer a virgin. In her Audi A3, the smell of her new car, first edition books and a new life... That's what comes into mind with this perfume. The night Christian took her for the first time on his helicopter. I can imagine this is exactly what she smelled like that night. With Ellie Goulding's Love me like you do playing in the background.

Maison Francis Kurkdjian Baccarat Rouge 540

I’m too embarrassed and ashamed to wear this in public just in case a fragrantica influencer comes out of a bush and starts pointing & laughing at me in front of everyone

Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille

what all the hot daddies in every lana del rey song smell like

Jo Malone Velvet Rose & Oud

If your family was religious, traditionally Asian, or both, you'll know this scent. This is the scent of a temple. This is the scent of an altar. Personally I can never wear this because smelling this brings back so many memories of burning incenses, visiting funerals, and saying prayers and wishes. My bottle is literally sitting on an altar.

Perfumer's Workshop Tea Rose

Speaking of the devil. This scent is the one with the Prada's shoes.

4160 Tuesdays Doe in the Snow

This is borne on a Christmas Eve, under the moonlight, a baby fawn just out of it's mother's womb. The moon is full light casting blue shadows snow lightly falling delicate flakes each one unique on the nose of the new born... Pure fresh Christmas morning air stillness not a sound blanketed with drifts of snow that is Doe In The Snow... pure white innocence...velvet petals so delicate under the driven snow...I have seen this in a dream... Another love... I get it...

#perfume #style writing

26 notes · View notes

parfumery-wiki · 2 years

Photo

Fawn (eau de parfum) Ellis Brooklyn

Floral amber

Sun-warmed skin, a breeze of spring citrus and the addictive milky tones of coconut, Fawn is inspired by coming of age novels—how memorable and lingering they are—and the sweet innocence and underlying sexuality of growing up.

Top notes: Neroli, Sicilian bergamot, Magnolia Heart notes: Damask rose, Lily of the valley, Coconut milk Base notes: Amber, Vanilla, Musk

#ellis brooklyn #eau de parfum #floral amber #neroli #sicilian bergamot #magnolia #damask rose #lily of the valley #coconut milk #amber #vanilla #musk

0 notes

imtryingmybeskar · 1 year

Text

Come Home Chapter Twenty

Joel Miller x F! Reader

Word count: 4593

You and Joel settle into your relationship, but Ellie's suspicions are high.

I've taken some liberties here with the order of Ellie’s journal.

Come Home

Chapter Twenty - Scene

The days that follow are more full of colour than you ever remember there being in the world. Bright, golden sunlight, skies of the deepest azure, verdant green grasses, delicate white and opulent pink of the cherry blossoms and magnolia trees that erupt in gardens and send their petals cascading through the town like confetti.

Both you and Joel attend to your normal tasks in Jackson – you with your rehabilitation appointments and helping in any way that you can while you’re still hobbled by your shoulder, and he with scouting, building, farming, any number of chores that he is asked to do. While you always enjoyed going beyond the walls of Jackson with him, you now find it a fraught affair when he goes out without you. There is a ball of agonised anxiety that takes root in the pit of your stomach and that doesn’t leave until he inevitably returns, always with reassurances that he’s okay and that there is nothing to worry about. You enjoy watching him at his carpentry far more and he has caught you actively ogling him on more than one occasion. Well, how can you help it when he looks like that? When his biceps curl and strain against his short sleeves as he saws and hammers? When his t shirt darkens at his neck and the small of his back and clings to him as he works? When he stretches up to measure the timber and you get a peek of that beautiful line of hair that stretches downward from his navel?

“We ain’t gonna have to tell folks if you keep on lookin’ at me like that,” he chuckles quietly one evening as you busy yourself in your kitchen making food for the three of you.

“Can’t help it. You look too good,” you say simply as you add salt and pepper to the pot.

“I didn’t say I had a problem with it,” he asserts smoothly as he plants dainty kisses across the nape of your neck, making you shiver and goosepimple before stepping back a respectable distance in case Ellie came charging in without knocking.

She’s doing that a lot these days, and you can’t help but feel like she’s trying to catch you in the act. You’re aware that Joel hasn’t told her what has changed between the two of you, but you can see the suspicion in her eyes when they flit between you when you talk and laugh, and she no longer makes excuses to leave you alone together after your game nights or dinner. So, you and Joel snatch time together whenever you can and the desperation of the stolen kisses between you only serve to ramp up the intensity of your feelings. In the stables, behind the barn, in the clinic after your physiotherapy when he comes to walk you back to your house, and once in the toilets of the Tipsy Bison when you were both…well…tipsy. It’s never gone further than kissing, but the crush of his mouth against yours and the taste of him on your tongue is something you know you could never get tired of.

You understand why he hasn’t said anything to her. This is so new, such untrodden territory and right now you couldn’t even put a name to it to begin talking with Ellie about what was going on. Besides, you felt it was up to him to decide when was right. While you and her were close, she was still his family and you had to believe that he knew what was best for her and for them.

The sling comes off just over two weeks after it went on and you’re overjoyed that you can now not only begin to do things with two hands, but that you can hold Joel close to you properly, something which you do mere minutes after you’ve got rid of the thing and Doctor Graham leaves the room.

“Eager,” he teases gently as he gathers you to him and strokes his hands softly down your back.

“Damn right,” you agree, testing your newfound freedom by hugging him as tightly to you as your shoulder will allow.

Day to day life comes easier after that, though Maria is still reluctant to give you anything too strenuous to work on. Still, you manage to do simple farming chores – watering the plants in the greenhouses, feeding the chickens and collecting their eggs, picking the produce that was ready – and you throw yourself into your tasks, savouring the new freedom of your body and how it is getting stronger.

Ellie, however, is still desperate to rid herself of farming duties. She asks Maria if she can work with Joel for a while instead, and when she agrees he begins teaching her the basics of carpentry. She’s good at it and you love the way you see Joel swell with pride when he can see the physical results of the knowledge he’s imparting. Truth be told, you’re glad she has something to distract her. She definitely knows something is going on, but because no one has been forthcoming with information she has drawn back and become a little more distant than usual. It’s worrying to you, that perhaps she wouldn’t approve of what you and Joel were doing. And that if she really couldn’t stand the idea, you would have to give him up for the sake of their relationship. There would be no other choice, either for you or him, you knew that. But the thought of it caused your heart to clench painfully, imagining seeing him every day but being unable to be as close to him as you wanted to be.

One afternoon after you’ve been to visit Mrs. Drew, who is now becoming less grumpy and more inclined to give you little knick-knacks and presents every time you visit her with groceries and other supplies, you stop by where they are working alongside Tommy. They seem to be building a new chicken coop and the air is thick with the sound of sawing and ringing hammers. You hang back at first, not wanting to disturb them while they’re busy, but as soon as Joel spots you he grins and immediately downs his tools.

“You good?” he asks.

“All fine,” you affirm. “Just wanted to say I’ve got some stew going back home if you’re hungry. Come over if you feel up to it. Or I can bring it to you guys if you’re tired.”

“Well…I am kinda beat today,” says Joel, his smile sliding into something a little more weary. “If you wouldn’t mind…”

“Not at all,” you say softly, and you have to tear your eyes from his face before it becomes too obvious that looking away from him is the last thing you want to do right now. You turn to Ellie with a questioning look instead to see how she feels about having dinner delivered to her, but her eyes are narrowed and not missing a trick. She’s giving you both appraising looks, from one to the other, as if trying to work you out.

“Ellie?” you prompt, trying to sound casual. “You want me to bring your food to your place? Or eat at Joel’s?”

“Whichever,” she says shiftily, and you sigh internally at her abruptness.

“Tommy? You and Maria want in?”

“Ah thanks, but we’ve got plans tonight,” he replies. “But you three should come to ours at some point. Maybe before movie night on Saturday?”

You had completely forgotten that a movie night was on the cards, but found yourself looking forward to it. And you were always happy to reap the benefits of someone else’s cooking.

“Sounds good to me,” says Joel. “Ellie?”

“Yeah. Cool,” she responds ambivalently as she shifts some wood around.

“Well, that’s a plan then,” Tommy confirms.

You depart shortly after, not wanting to arouse Ellie’s suspicions any further than they already were by goggling at Joel while he was trying to work. As the stew is simmering away quite happily on its own and the evening outside is pleasant you decide to do something small to celebrate having both hands at your disposal again. When Mrs. Drew had discovered that you had liked to knit and sew prior to the outbreak, she had insisted that you take a set of needles and some yarn, and also gave you permission to come and use her sewing machine as you saw fit.

The wooden chair on your porch is made more comfortable with the addition of a cushion, and you set a steaming cup of peppermint tea on the table, the fresh leaves harvested from one of the plants that you and Ellie have nurtured between you. Sweet springtime scents of grass and magnolia are carried to you on the warm breeze. Flowers that are starting to flourish in gardens and that bud in window boxes nod along to it, the rustle of leaves a soothing hiss of background noise. A gentle peace permeates the evening. Your fingers are clumsy as first, having not made these subtle movements in such a long time. But before long the muscle memory is revived and you begin to create rows in earnest, vague thoughts of Christmas scarves and hats for Ellie and Joel flitting through your mind.

After a time, distant voices begin to filter through the peace that surrounds you and you smile to yourself as you recognise the sounds of your neighbours making their way home.

“-found all these art supplies,” Ellie is saying. “It was pretty cool.”

“Where did you say this was?” asks Joel.

“Just an old campground,” Ellie says shiftily. “On the edge of Jackson. No one had been in there for a while.”

Though you were still a relative newcomer to Jackson, you didn’t recall there being any kind of place within its walls.

Joel is clearly thinking along the same lines because he begins “I don’t remember seein’-“ before Ellie steamrollers through his sentence and continues talking.

“So Dina went back to get more paper and made me this!”

They emerge into your line of sight, Ellie with a gaudily colourful paper crown on her head, and Joel eyeing her suspiciously. His face clears as he catches sight of you behind her, and Ellie turns to regard you too.

“It’s a good look for the Queen of Jackson,” you smile and are rewarded when she beams back at you. You stand and stretch, rolling your shoulders gently and not missing the way that Joel’s eyes drop to your chest as you puff it out. You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face, and he gives an unabashed grin in return. “You guys ready for some food?”

“God yes, I’m starving,” she says eagerly.

“Jus’ give us some time to wash up,” Joel adds, and Ellie throws her head back with an exaggerated and exasperated groan that he is delaying her mealtime a while longer.

Once back in your kitchen, you spoon a good proportion of the stew into a red ceramic crock pot and place the lid on it before carrying it across to Joel’s house, your shoulder only mildly protesting at the strain it is under.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Joel beams once he answers the door, and the term of endearment makes you smile shyly. “Come on in. Let me take that…Jesus! This thing is really fuckin’ heavy! You sure you should be strainin’ that shoulder?”

You grin at his fussing over you.

“Well the doc did say I can do more with it. I need to build up the muscles again before I can think of starting to go back outside, so…” You trail off as you follow him into his house, hoping he understands that you want to get back out there with him as soon as possible.

He places the stew on his stove and you move to the cutlery drawer to begin the process of setting the table.

“Nuh-uh,” he chides softly as he comes up behind you and closes the drawer again. “Ellie’s upstairs takin’ her shower and I feel like I ain’t seen you in days.”

"Joel, you literally saw me twenty minutes ago," you smirk as you turn to him.

"Daaaays," he repeats softly as he cages you with his arms against the counter top and kisses you hungrily. God you were never going to get enough of this. You can feel his desire in the movement of his lips, feel how he’s holding himself back from devouring you, feel the delicious tension in the low rumbling moan that he can’t stop himself from emitting. But his hands are gentle as they slide from the counter to hold you closer, one continuing its path up your back and neck and around your face until it presses delicately against your cheek, cradling your jaw and holding you exactly where you both want you to be. He’s always so gentle with you, even when you cling to each other desperately in the darkness of the barn, even when you know there is so little time that you can steal, there is always a tenderness in his actions.

Sometimes you wish he would be a little rougher.

The thought rises unbidden and it fans the embers that seem to be constantly within you these days to a sudden roar. You press yourself against him more fully, sliding your hands around his hips, up under his shirt and running them over the rippled muscles of his shoulders with careless abandon. The shuddering exhalation that your skin on his elicits from him provokes a near savage feeling somewhere within and your kisses burn hotter, more desperate as you trail your lips over the hair at his jaw, mouthing at his neck as you rake your nails softly down his back.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispers fervently. “You…you gotta stop.”

You break away from him immediately, and take in his now slightly dishevelled, panting self, his eyes dark and wild as they look at you, his lips swollen from the bruising kisses you had shared. Did you do that? With a few simple touches of your hands and lips?

“Sorry,” you murmur, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “I just…you’re just-”

“I know,” he says, kissing you chastely and smiling cheekily. “So are you. But I can’t be all riled up just before dinner.”

“Well…it’s a little late for me,” you confess, running your hands through his soft waves.

Before he can respond you hear a door close upstairs. You both look toward the sound and then back at each other, and he plants one last soft kiss on your forehead before sliding his hands back from around your waist. You smile to yourself as you hear Ellie begin to move around upstairs, and you begin to rifle through the cutlery drawer again.

Dinner is a little more uncomfortable than you expected. You’re trying to keep your eyes off Joel as much as possible, certain that at these close quarters Ellie’s scrutiny of your behaviour will reveal something you don’t want it to. Instead you mostly look at her, or down at your plate, and every time you risk a look at Joel he seems to be doing the same thing. In between eating, the three of you talk about what you think will be shown at the movie night, how Ellie is enjoying being away from farming, how you think your shoulder is healing. The usual, pleasantly innocuous conversation you would expect to find at the dinner table and you begin to slide into a more relaxed feeling about the evening.

And that’s when Ellie strikes.

You swear she waits until the precise moment Joel takes a large swig of water before she speaks.

“So…you guys fucking?”

It works. Joel’s eyes bulge comically as he splutters and then spits his water all over the table and his empty plate and begins coughing violently.

“Well, that’s a yes,” she mutters, her eyes dancing gleefully.

“E-Ellie! Christ!” he wheezes between coughs.

“Oh please. You two are so not subtle. And you-" She points at Joel accusingly "-were waaaay too happy that whole trip out to the museum.”

“I was happy…because…I was with you…ungrateful…child!”

“Yeah, but-“

She suddenly looks uncertain and her eyes dart between you and Joel. You look down at your own plate and bite your lip. It wasn’t your place to say anything if Joel wasn’t ready to tell her. In all things concerning Ellie, he would necessarily have to be the one to make final decisions of this kind. It was just how it was. You had no desire to complicate their relationship or insert yourself where you weren’t wanted, nor to take a father from a girl who had already seemingly lost so much. At the same time, she wasn’t stupid and you didn’t want to lie.

You look up again to find Joel looking at you. He’s still clearing his throat, trying valiantly to dislodge the remnants of the water in there. He gives a tiny nod, and you take that as your cue to proceed.

“Not…not fucking, no."

“But you are together?”

“If we were would that be okay?”

Ellie sighs deeply and speaks as if what she’s saying is the most obvious thing in the world. “Yes, dummies. It would be okay. I…I know you were worried about taking him away from me, but I also know that’s not going to happen. I just want this loser-“ she gestures at Joel again “-to be happy. And you make him happy. So…I’m happy. Just don’t be too gross, okay?”

Joel has finally stopped coughing and his smile is deep and radiant as he looks from Ellie to you.

“I think we can manage that,” he murmurs as he slides his hand across the table to capture yours.

“No. See. Gross. What did I just say?” Ellie scolds, but she’s smiling too as she says it.

The relief you feel is immense. Ellie was the one person that you had been truly worried about in this whole situation, but her assurances and the way her eyes had sparkled when she saw how happy Joel was at her words had successfully put those fears to rest. You’re both still careful around her for the rest of the evening – nothing that could be construed as “gross” for a sixteen year old around her father – but he sits a little closer to you than he would normally, allows his hand to rest briefly on the small of your back as you all help to clear the table. Tiny gestures that mean so much because they come from him and because he doesn’t feel the need to hide them any longer.

Only once during the rest of the week does it get awkward. By mutual agreement, you and Joel are still not openly engaging in anything other than friendly interactions publicly. It’s not that you don’t want people to know, more that the perceived weight of the town’s expectation that you would become something more to each other seems too much to deal with right now when everything is so new.

“I like havin’ you, havin’ this all to myself for now,” Joel says succinctly one night on the sofa after Ellie has gone to bed. He leans into you, pressing you down against the cushions and resting his weight on one arm as he lies above you.

You’ve always got me to yourself,” you reply, running your hand over his tensed bicep and feeling those embers flare into sparks in your abdomen. “You seen yourself, Miller? You think I ever even looked at anyone else in this town?”

“Well shucks,” he purrs, exaggerating that Texan twang. “Pretty lady like you givin’ out compliments like that? You’re gonna give me a big head.” He slides his nose over yours softly before leaning in further to kiss you.

“Oh shi-“

Joel scrambles up from his position as if he’s been burned at the sound of Ellie’s horrified, bitten off expletive. You sit up too and whirl toward her far too forcefully, earning yourself a biting jab of pain through your shoulder and arm.

“Sorry,” she says with a grimace, covering her eyes with one hand. “I forgot my Walkman in here.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you echo, mortified beyond belief. “I should go."

“No, no!” she replies, her voice high and taut with her own embarrassment and still with her hand clapped over her eyes as if Medusa herself was in the room. “I should have knocked. My fault.”

“Ellie, you can take your hand away,” Joel says softly, and somehow he seems the most calm of all of you.

She peeks through her fingers, and when she sees you both sitting normally on the sofa breathes a small sigh and does what he says.

“This is still your house,” Joel continues. “And you come and go as you please. Ain’t nothin’ changin’ that. We just maybe gotta set some ground rules for this whole thing.”

“Like…don’t forget your Walkman?” she jokes weakly.

“Like maybe we keep certain things out of communal areas,” he smiles with a meaningful look at you.

“Hey, it’s your house. You guys set the rules here, I’m just a guest,” you babble, holding your hands up in submission.

“Little bit more than a guest at this point,” he murmurs.

“I’m just gonna shout whenever I come in,” Ellie announces as she grabs her Walkman from where it rests on the bookcase. “Waaay easier.”

Movie night is due to begin at seven on the Saturday evening and so just before five you, Joel and Ellie take the short walk through what passes for the suburbia of Jackson over to Maria and Tommy’s. Their house is closer to the centre of town – a modest, three bedroom affair much like your own. The warmth of cooking and the smell of something delicious hits you as soon as Maria answers the door and invites you in.

“We’re having chilli tonight,” she remarks as she gestures for you to sit down on the comfortable looking chairs in her living room. “Tommy insisted on cooking, so don’t blame me if it’s terrible!”

“Excuse me,” Tommy says as he suddenly appears from the kitchen wearing a sauce spattered apron with an invitation to “Kiss the Cook” on it and waving a wooden spoon in a vaguely threatening way. “My cookin’ is sublime!”

“Smores with cheese,” Joel pipes up. “That’s all I’m sayin’.”

“I ran outta marshmallow. And I was six!”

“No excuse for that monstrosity,” grins Joel as Tommy grumbles to himself while returning to the kitchen.

“God, I miss smores,” you sigh.

“What are smores?” Ellie asks.

“Marshmallow, chocolate and graham crackers toasted over a fire. Its so gooey and sweet…I wonder if twenty year old chocolate would really be that bad.”

“I’ll keep my eye out for some,” Joel promises, twinkling at the yearning expression you can feel on your face. His hand lands upon your knee, squeezing it briefly before withdrawing again. Maria doesn’t miss it.

“Glad to see you two have finally made up properly,” she says slyly.

“Yeah well…figured it was about time I got my head outta my ass,” Joel says sheepishly.

“Chance’d be a fine thing,” Tommy says, his voice floating in from the kitchen.

“Don’t make me come in there and shame that chilli,” Joel fires back, an amused expression on his face. “In fact,” he adds as he stands, “I am gonna go tell him all the things he’s doin’ wrong.” Mild and good natured bickering erupts between the brothers as soon as Joel steps into the kitchen and all three of you roll your eyes at each other and grin.

The chilli is delicious – just the right amount of heat, tender meat, a rich, thick sauce and buttery potato skins on the side. Joel teases that it was his guidance that made the meal so appetising, and you have to stifle your laugher at the outrage on Tommy’s face and in his voice.

After dinner, the five of you stroll into the town centre. People are gathering in the same building that the winter dance was held at, but when you walk in the room looks quite different to before. A projector has been set up at the back of the room, a large white sheet has been affixed to one wall and dozens of chairs have been squeezed in front of it. Children run and squeal as they play, their parents and guardians chatter happily above their noise.

“So what’s on?” you ask Tommy.

“Labyrinth. I was going to go with Indiana Jones, but Maria thought the face melting scene might be a bit too frightenin’ for the littler kids.”

“Ooof, yeah. I remember the first time I saw that. I was ten and it still freaked me out! But David Bowie’s lycra covered crotch should be fine, right?”

Tommy snorts a laugh. “Accordin’ to Maria. Annnd she is the boss.”

He moves away to make the last minute preparations for the evening and Joel takes his place, handing you a bottle of water before opening his own and taking a sip.

“Maybe I should get you some tight lycra pants, Miller,” you say softly so that only he can hear. “Pretty sure you’ve got the goods for them.”

For the second time that week, Joel chokes uncontrollably on his drink. So much so that Ellie looks across from where she’s sat next to a girl with a large and ornate lotus tattooed on her arm before rolling her eyes at the pair of you and resuming her conversation.

“Jesus Christ, woman. What brought that on?” he wheezes.

“Labyrinth,” you say casually, gesturing to the sheet ahead as the lights begin to dim.

Joel moves behind you, slides one big hand around your waist and pulls you tight against him in the darkness.

“Now you just settle down and behave,” he commands in a husky voice that you’re almost sure has nothing to do with the water he inhaled and that gives you a pleasant tingling shiver all up your spine. “Or I’ll have to stop givin’ you the one thing I know you want from me.”

You tip your head back so you’re face to face with him but upside down.

“Your cooking?” you ask, innocently.

“Damn straight,” he growls menacingly, his eyes twinkling and kind in the semi darkness. And then, so naturally you think he must have forgotten how public a place you’re both in, he kisses you. A soft, brief, chaste kiss, but a kiss nonetheless and when you tip your head the right way again he pulls you even tighter against him and you lace your fingers with him as they rest against your stomach. You settle against him, tuck your head comfortably against the crook of his neck and he kisses you again, this time on top of your head. You can see more than a few people glancing your way, most with small smiles on their faces, some looking a little sullen. This was it then. You and Joel together in public as a couple, no more secrecy or hiding. You can’t deny the rush of warmth that fills you, nor the dopey smile you know is stretched across your face. It feels too good to let people know. That he is yours and you are his.

Taglist - @thisshipwillsail316 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @elegantduckturtle @dihra-vesa @midwesternwitchery @just-here-for-the-moment @eri16 @readsalot73 @littlemisspascal @princessxkenobi @harriedandharassed @pagannightwitch @tentacruels @kirsteng42 @shirks-all-responsibilities @deadhumourist @pedrostories @abbyhaslongshorts @celebrtyskinz @majahu @sanscas @myloveistoolittle @ohthemisssery @harperdoodle @hummelmi @casssiopeia @midgetpottermills @rivierasunsetdiner

Next chapter

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel tlou x reader #joel tlou x you #joel tlou x f!reader #joel tlou x female reader #joel tlou fanfiction #joel tlou fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic

78 notes · View notes