#either way i'm happy with how this looks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tears-of-xion · 1 month

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Made a Rena Rouge mermaid design. :3

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Please do not use or re-post my artwork without my permission. Thank you! (reblogs, however, are welcome and appreciated)

I do not own Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, nor it’s characters. All rights to their owners.

#miraculous ladybug #fanart #alya cesaire #rena rouge #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #mermaid au #mermaid!rena rouge #clip studio paint #March2024 #tearsofxion'sart #my art #tearsofxiondrawsMiraculous #tearsofxiondrawsMermaids #tried out drawing her mask in two different ways here #and yet i'm not certain i'll use either of them in future #i have different ideas to try out #either way i'm happy with how this looks #rena rouge's hair is so much fun to draw

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domirine · 3 months

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ever seen a man so beautiful you ram your bike into his flowers?

my full piece for the retrouvailles zine! i had a lot of fun painting it. hope you enjoy looking at the lil details, plants, and the only character who has his shit together (the dog)

#art #jjba #avpol #mohammed avdol #jean pierre polnareff #iggy #i suppose! he sure is here after all.#i sat on this for a long while and i'm very happy that the whole zine is out i had a nice time working with everyone there #also i like participating in zines. just saw another jojo one i would have loved to apply but you know how it is #the world shows you zine info only after the artists are announced lol looking forward to seeing it either way #ok enough babblin. stay cool

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cosmicdreamgrl · 1 month

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𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘫𝘬 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴: (33/?)┃𝘤𝘳 : 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥

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ineed-to-sleep · 5 months

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decided to play the whole game again w nawen bc now I got her a fleshed out backstory + character development + most importantly. mods for pretty clothes

#I mean I had them by the end of the game but now I have them at the start #looking pretty at the start just hits different #bg3 #oc.nawen #sleep.txt #also this is ciri's outfit in different colors but it just really fits her story-wise and I'm feeling my feelings #I'm getting immersed I'm roleplaying I'm in the zone #bc like. just prior to this she had a rlly important position in the shadow thieves #and she was in baldur's gate on a mission to take control over the city's criminal operations for them and especially #to take the place of nine fingers keene #but behind the guild's back ofc. bc how else would they do this #she didn't exactly want to do it for a variety of reasons but what she wanted never mattered anyway #so she tried and made her move but. she failed #she got caught and attacked and barely escaped #she ended up crawling into a cave near the city to tend to her wounds #and it's right after that that she gets kidnapped by the mindflayer ship #so the messy clothes with barely any armor and the bandages just really complete The Look #if I could I'd just take away the belt on her waist but oh well. ig that would be too much to ask #but either way I am v happy w this heehee

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sysig · 3 months

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*You’re starting to feel very sleepy... (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Gaster #Sans #Papyrus #Mostly silliness and randoms but also a little two-panel for funsies ♪#Always with the miserable Gaster! Pre-void tho just when he had cracks in his face #Would you please let your friends heal you just once you mess of a skeleton - you're not going to let your sons do it so!#Angy Snas <3 I'm really happy with how that one turned out haha #He really has such a cute face! Even when he's mad!#It's the big eye sockets I think - his mouth is quite fun to draw emoting other than a smile too :)#So disheveled! Your shoulder's gonna get so cold and then you'll be even meaner! Lol #Various babybones sleeping positions <3 Sans up top exemplifying the cat pose #Initially it was supposed to be that one sleeping position kids do where they sleep all middle-scrunched but the rest splayed out?#Does anyone know what I'm talking about lol I used to sleep like that when I was a littley #He does look very cute tho <3 Skeleton loaf ♥#Papyrus starfishing haha - either rolled away while sleeping on the floor away from Sans or they're sleeping mismatched #Otherwise Sans would definitely be curled up in any of the many negative spaces lol #Maybe that last sleeping Sans is the matching one! Just lost the energy to get all the way up onto the cot haha #Laying on his back and kicking his feet up and finally just dozed off like that haha #More sleepies! You cannot escape them Papyrus!#Sans knocking out at a moment's notice and dragging Papyrus with him - started early! Just so comfy together #Gaster just ;/ at Papyrus complaining lol he wants to run around and play!#Gaster has a lot of work to do and it would be a lot easier if things were quiet for a little while let your brother lead naptime #I do love his whiny complaint haha ''YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M /SLEEPY/!!'' ''...Yes?'' ''NOOOOOOOOOOO'' Lol

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pastafossa · 8 months

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*heavy breathing* I decided to try to find a workaround for the long covid brain fog tonight.

Aka a new pot pot strain a friend recced to see if it would help me out with this.

It worked.

Do you know how well?

I just came up from a fucking five hour writing spree.

I'd planned to edit TRT's new chapter. And I did for a bit. But it wasn't enough. I had that itch, one that had been rattling around under my skin for months.

I needed to CREATE.

I NEEDED TO WRITE.

So I turned my eyes to the Raven fic's final chapter, where I'd been slowly working on adding the new scenes I wanted and redoing a few to match the new ones.

I didn't just enter the writing zone. I blew that fucking door off its hinges. I saw the scenes in my mind's eye, and I typed the words that came, and even when the words didn't show up, I waved it off, slapped in a placeholder, and blew past it. My hyperfocus latched on like a gator and did fifty thousand death rolls.

I wrote FOUR. POINT. EIGHT. THOUSAND. WORDS.

IN FIVE HOURS.

I may have forgotten to drink or eat anything so that's familiar too

This proves it. Getting TRT's new chapter written, if not edited, proved the words were still there in my head. And THIS proves I can still enter that miracle zone that makes everything worth it oh god i missed the zone. As best I can tell looking over it, this didn't fix my 'what word did I want here???' problem that I continue to struggle with. I still have a lot of placeholder words. But what it did do was remove my frustration, my anxiety, and my long pauses when I couldn't find a word I wanted. It was far easier to just continue on. It also gave me, for just a few hours, the ability to focus, enough that even as it slowly wore off I'd built enough momentum to keep going for a while.

Now I just gotta find a way to get there more regularly like I used to, without the herby nudge. Tomorrow I'll try the same thing though, only with editing instead, now that my itch has been thoroughly scratched.

And if anyone hears triumphant howling tomorrow evening, just know that it is I, Pasta, summoning the words again.

#I WAS THERE I FOUND THE ZONE #now i gotta edit trt's chapter so we'll see how that goes #hoooooly shit that was satisfying #even if it looked a bit different than how i used to write #my use of placeholder words still bothers me a bit because like #i already had to manage my adhd and now i gotta manage this too and it's a reminder my brain got scrambled by the plague #and that i don't know if it'll go away #but i think workarounds will be key for a while #i *can't* write the same way as before. i need to adapt #so this tells me i need to focus on placeholders and not letting anxiety use them to gatekeep the zone #i'm not sure about how to fix my focus yet but i'll keep trying #either way this was a satisfying experiment and I am SO HAPPY

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michelle-jacksons-art-blog · 1 year

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Hi hello have this somewhat old Jonmartin kids concept ideas while I try not to die

#I have I'm Gonna Fucking Die Disease #symptoms are I've coughed way too much for like almost a week now #my bad #so anyway the drawing #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tma #tma podcast #the magnus archives #how does one tag these things #so uh I think I made Lyra the older one #one of these names I got straight out of a fanfic but I can't remember each one so when I feel mentally capable I'll look for it #or if you happen to remember a fic that had them have a daughter with either of those names feel free to mention it #anyways they're a happy family #a bit weird bc let's be honest Jon and Martin are really weird #like as normal people go they can be freaks sometimes #but that's fine otherwise they wouldn't be popular on tumblr dot com #two funky colored eyes for the price of one head I'd call that a great deal #I just think it would be interesting to know what happens when two avatars of different fears have baby like do you know how many fears Jon #involves on his own like that's all 14 dude what happens there #he's like aang in the sense that he's thee avatar and also can never recover from this experience #would the kids even be connected to the fears in whatever universe their dads ended up in we just don't know #anyway this is all actually for a story idea I've had since forever but you're not ready for that yet #peace everyone I'll bring trying to sleep

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kasirose · 2 years

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Getting close to the end of spoopy month so here’s an extra witchy Magnus!

I couldn’t resist sneaking some Malec things into the background, can you spot them all? ;)

Answers here!

Version without the background under the cut

#this drawing took so long to do omg #i'm really happy with the way it came out tho so #chairman is a blob cause idk how to draw cats properly #shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanart #shadowhunters tv #Magnus Bane #magnus bane fanart #magnus lightwood bane #malec #chairman meow #harry shum jr #witchy vibes #crystals #Halloween #spoopy month #my art #I kinda went yolo with the tattoos so I hope they look alright #idk what's going on with his outfit either tbh lol idk fashion XD

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rollercoasterwords · 1 year

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I have, a genuine question for you. Do you acknowledge the racism in the original AYTD or at least know about it? Like how MsKingBean uses slurs and racist stereotypes?

hey, so, i'm a bit apprehensive about answering this because...it doesn't feel like a very geniune question to me, if i'm being honest. "do you acknowledge x thing" is a question that is inherently set up so that i'm meant to answer "yes, i acknowledge that x thing is true," because the alternative is saying "no, i don't acknowledge that x thing is true," which is already framing this interaction as if to disagree with you would be a kind of failure on my part to do some due diligence of engaging critically with a text. and the fact that you say mskingbean89 used slurs in atyd shows me that you haven't even engaged with the text, because that simply...isn't true.

if what you're referring to when you say "slurs" is the anti-romani stereotypes--this is coming from an extra chapter in the bootleg tapes focusing on greyback, where there is a slur used to describe his living situation + he + his family were portrayed as nomadic irish people in a way that was insensitive. people who read that chapter and then went back to the canon story with that characterization in mind rightfully pointed out that it was fucked-up. mskingbean89 addressed those criticisms by adding this note to the beginning of that bootleg chapter:

personally, i think this was a good way to take accountability + acknowledge the mistakes she made with that portrayal. she was a human being who made an ignorant mistake, which then just happened to get absolutely blasted to millions of people--she did not have sensitivity readers or editors looking over her fanfiction, because she did not write it expecting it to reach the level of popularity that it has. to be honest, i am not really sure how she could have better acknowledged her mistake, aside from just....not having made it in the first place. she explains her intentions without acting as though that intent cancels out harm, owns up to the fact that the stereotyping was harmful regardless of intention, and provides resources to learn while also committing to be more mindful + educate herself moving forward. honestly, that's exactly the response i would hope to see from someone who makes a mistake like this one.

i agree with you that people reading atyd should acknowledge + understand the racism regarding romani stereotypes stemming from that bootleg chapter, which is why i think it's great that there is a note literally built into the beginning of that chapter acknowledging it! but i feel as though there's been this like...game of telephone happening online when it comes to atyd, where there are now people who have never even read the story talking about things that quite literally do not appear in the base text itself. i've also seen people acting as though mkb herself did not address these issues when they were raised to her, which is just...patently false.

and so what i'm wondering here is what you're looking for from me when you ask a question like "do you acknowledge the racism in atyd." anyone who actually reads the texts has to acknowledge the racism in that bootleg chapter, because mkb puts that acknowledgment front and center at the beginning. and also like...in the part of the fandom i'm in, in the conversations i've listened to or taken part of regarding atyd, people have acknowledged the issues with that bootleg chapter and the ways it reflects back on the main story. so what do you mean by "acknowledge" when so many people, including mkb herself, have already... acknowledged it? what action are you calling for, and who are you calling for it from?

because like. if what u actually want to say here is that atyd is Irredeemably Problematic and we should all like....shun it? universally agree that it's Bad? then it's just like. it is up to each individual reading the story to decide whether that specific portrayal of greyback in the bootleg chapters is something that ruins the story completely for them or whether they still think the story as a whole holds worth. personally, i feel like i can acknowledge that there are issues with mkb's portrayal of greyback and i need to be mindful of that when reading the story so as not to internalize harmful stereotypes while still finding atyd to be a masterpiece that really beautifully deals with a lot of nuanced issues regarding class and disability and systems of power. this is just part of thinking critically when you read; many famous and beloved works of fiction contain the biases of their authors or have mistakes or issues in the way they portray things that are a product of ignorance. and i know everyone reading marauders fanfiction should understand this, because if u genuinely think that a character being negatively stereotyped means u should throw the entire work in the trash, then none of u would be touching harry potter fanfiction with a five foot pole in the first place.

so, anon - if you have actually read atyd, and there are issues with racism that you have found that i am unaware of, and not just telephone-game twitter posts of people taking shit out of context that you're accepting as truth without bothering to engage with the work yourself--if you want to have a real conversation about it, i would invite you to come to me as an actual person and not an anonymous ghost in my inbox. my dms are open, but when it comes to talking about serious issues, i tend to find it more genuine if the person coming to me actually cares enough and believes in what they're saying enough to say it as themself. and if you haven't read atyd and are just parroting things you've heard other people say online then i would invite you to actually sit down and read the work and form your own opinions on it before getting back to me. i know that might sound harsh, but honestly i'm just completely fed-up at this point with all the bad-faith takes and misinformation that i've seen people spreading about atyd just because they think it's cool to dislike a popular thing.

#mkb is literally a human being who never intended for her story to get as popular as it has #i think the people who villainize her for likes on their twitter posts seem to forget that #and i'm not going to take part in some sort of smear campaign being run by people who brag about not even having read the story #i'm happy to acknowledge issues i find in a work. but i typically do that privately. in conversations with other people who have read it #because as i have said a million times there is never a reason for publicly shitting on fics regardless of how popular they get #it's not like mkb is profiting in any way from her story. in fact she has literally had to deal with awful harassment #and most of the 'critiques' i see about atyd are either bad-faith criticism or things that literally are not true. so!!#here's ur acknowledgment anon but if what ur looking for is for me to condemn mkb....sorry but that's not happening #i love atyd and think it's an amazing work of fiction. and i think mkb did a beautiful job exploring + portraying #many nuanced + sensitive issues. if u read the work and feel differently that's fine!#but that doesn't change the fact that it's fanfic....and that u should address any problems u have with it with fic etiquette in mind #ask #ranting and raving

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krenenbaker · 8 months

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Dorm-inspired Outfits (from my Closet)

A few months ago, I put together a few things from my closet based on the different twst dorms. I posted them to Reddit, but now, they shall also have a home here on Tumblr :) But I'll also add a bit more info on the inspirations behind my use of the various pieces here, just for fun. Also, pardon the socks; I didn't bother picking shoes to go with the outfits. I'll describe what shoes I would wear with each look, though!

Also, uhh... body reveal? Before showing my cosplay (whenever it is that I finish it lol)

Heartslabyul

For this outfit, I wanted to feature the clashing patterns and fabrics of the dorm uniforms, while also incorporating an Alice in Wonderland-esque aesthetic. I used a yellow fabric belt, similar to the yellow sash of the dorm uniform, and added a scarf with a rose pattern and the same colour scheme as the rest of the outfit. I also retained my watch (which I really should have switched out for one of my analogue watches, but... oh well) and my "Save The Bees" bracelet, since it seemed to fit with the theme and I wear it on basically a daily basis, so...

I would pair this look with these white socks and my saddle oxfords.

Savanaclaw

With the Savanaclaw outfit, I wanted an active and somewhat more masc look. I tried to stay true to the warm colour scheme, and reference the leather vest of the dorm uniform using the sleeveless flannel I had. I also kept my watch and bracelet for this outfit, but I added two necklaces - one with a celtic knot pendant, and one with a piece of quartz, though if I had a tooth or bone necklace, I would have used that instead.

I would wear my brown leather boots with this outfit.

Octavinelle

This outfit is one of the closest to how I normally dress. The dress is black with lavender flowers, with a gather in the skirt on the left side, giving the heavy material more movement - it just feels "Octavinelle". I added a braided belt with a silvery buckle to give a little more definition, and a pearlescent pink and purple necklace, along with white gloves. I also wore my cream coat over my shoulders as a coat-cape, à la Azul Ashengrotto.

I would not wear socks with this, but instead stockings and my black and white pumps.

Scarabia

I wanted to follow the colour scheme and ~vibe~ of the dorm and its uniform for this Scarabia-inspired outfit. The floral skirt may seem to be an odd choice, but the deep orange of the flowers and the satin material seemed to fit with Scarabia. I also added more jewellery - multiple rings, and two necklaces, all golden in colour - to complete the look.

I would probably wear either my tan scandals, or white ankle socks and my heeled leather oxfords with this outfit.

Pomefiore

I felt like Pomefiore needed a classic, powerful look - what better way to do that than with a black pencil skirt? That, I paired with a sheer blouse with satin cuffs, and a (mostly) purple, high-necked, sleeveless knit. The orange, cream, and golden stripes in the knit also reflect the gold detailing of the Pomefiore dorm uniform.

I definitely wouldn't wear socks with this - it's another job for the black and white pumps, or maybe even my black heeled boots, depending on the vibe.

Ignihyde

Ignihyde just SCREAMED for the use of my CrankGameplays "Soft Boi" shirt. It's light blue, plus it's gamer merch - the perfect combo. Add in some black jeans, headphones, and a blue and white scarf in the pocket, and Ignihyde is complete!

I'd wear either my pink skate shoes, or maybe my brown leather boots with this one, I think.

Diasomnia

Finally, Diasomnia. I simply needed to use my green turtleneck with this one, but I knew I had to use black for the rest of the outfit. So, black trousers and a black cardigan (again, over the shoulders) were the other components I used, as well as a black braided belt - both to add a little texture, as well as a hint of silver, as is featured in the Diasomnia dorm uniform as well.

I'd wear black socks and my black heeled boots with this outfit.

And with that, we're complete! Let me know your thoughts - did I capture the spirits of the dorms in these outfits? :)

(I didn't include Ramshackle, but I could also make an outfit for that at some point, which I may do later)

#krenenbaker's :)#twisted wonderland #twst #krenenbaker's creations #I'm very happy with how some of these turned out - mainly the ones similar to my normal style #I also was wearing my binder for half of these (if you were wondering why my body shape was a bit different in some images from others).#also the Save The Bees bracelet is one of my favourite accessories #I got it at a show I went to so it has both a sentiment I agree with and fond memories attached to it too :)#I also could wear my brown leather boots with Pomefiore I guess since Rook wears freaking TIMBERLANDS (not with his dorm uniform but STILL)#(but I wouldn't. it would look weird... sorry Rook)#I also wish I would've done a different pose for Scarabia but I wanted to show off the jewellery and that was the best I could come up with #I need Vil to give me some of his modelling talent #or a lesson on how to do it maybe #I dunno #either would work #just teach me how to pose in a way that is a. somewhat comfortable and b. maybe won't make me feel so... weird looking back at the pictures #I really do relate to Azul.#anyways... thanks for looking at my outfits! and reading my tags if you got this far too ♡

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gregoftom · 1 year

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where do i even start

#tomgreg #stay tuned for a special thing at the end #FIRST OFF CAN I JUST SAY. thinking about my own various skills and abilities tom says as he MOVES CROTCH FIRST TOWARDS GREG.#and he's just told greg his skills. he's got a big dick and fucks fast and hard. so like. there's that.#i'm either to assume he's already showed said skills off to greg and referring to it or he's literally being suggestive #either unconsciously or consciously.#also he wiggles his crotch a little. like. we get it you wanna fuck greg so bad it makes you look stupid.#ok so we've got the tom not tiptoeing around this like he did with shiv and straight up saying i'm not fucking happy #with you going off with somebody else. i don't like it. why are you happy and i'm not that's not fair.#you're mine. i'm not jealous tho haha #we've got them going through what looks like a wedding arch.#we've got them full on acting like a married couple with greg making excuses for tom and holding him back a little. acting like his wife.#we've got tom switching chiding greg for saying something and the ''don't say that!!'' and then greg agreeing #and saying that actually no tom is a lovely man. oh don't mind my husband he's just grouchy!#and then the WAY tom says you've ruined it like he's about to throw up or cry. or both.#and then greg being like ?? how i have ruined it?? and tom ''idk you just HAVE'' all petulant like #and you know what i'm gonna say. a schoolboy.#he's like thanks i hate it #it really is so much this episode. so much.#i have an idea from it of what fic i could write so there's something at least. a

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skullinahat · 1 year

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an obsession with my own entrapment

#gabbering #scribbles #eyestrain #bitch trying to take my cube in the divorce #im super super happy with how this turned out #it looks so so much better than i thought it would #been struggling a bit lately so it was a welcome surprise to have this go so smoothly (:#also i'm listening to a playlist of the gex ost and it either includes the cutscenes #or the music itself includes the cutscenes and they'd have to edit them out #either way im losing my fucking mind

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ereborne · 1 month

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Song of the Day: March 26

"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan

#song of the day #you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll)#they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs #I love them. I adore them #'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable)#'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain #Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain #they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain'#what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy #anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/#I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times #which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is)#but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful'#and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday'#and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--'#and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning'#and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--'#and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about'#so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both #which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything?#it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/#(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better #and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it #hmm maybe yeah)

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priffi · 3 months

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that one didn't mean anything it literally didn't wdym it meant nothing it was all fake all fake that was nothing nothing happened huh. anyways bad news again

#OP (irl) gets the short end of the stick while i THRIVE. sorry bestie bout my boy drama but omgggg let me have this.#it's different from the last one bc it's attainable and not fake and i think it means something. coco if u see this Erm #i will not tell you who but if you can guess right i'll tell u if ur right #and do NOT go looking at my newest spotify playlist. you will still have no idea who it is.#is it bad if i say i literally duplicated the old struck playlist and then edited it from there 😭#anyways back to my rant. idk how much i want it but it surely means something if i keep thinking about it.#also. there are Signs. i might be crazy but i'm happy and i'm back to living paycheck to paycheck (a singular glance once a day)#prayge for monday. idk how it'll go but we'll see im excited either way #perspective

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bobmckenzie · 1 year

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ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!

so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️

#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol)#i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol #but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3 #even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !!#i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept #but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how #'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't 🧍🏻‍♀️BUT #there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production #and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience #idk it's just a comforting thought #like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today #and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around.#bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub #cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻‍♀#UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳#peanut butter and jelly donut #caitiechat

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diningpageantry · 2 years

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hi!! pride post, coming to you from your weird professional activist neighbor who never shuts up about their experiences

this year, i want to specifically highlight what everybody can do to make this pride special: examine and criticize whatever organization runs your local pride event. search their social media--find out who it is run by and where it is through, because chances are, you may not like what you find out.

allow me to take you on a little journey: my city (a major city in the Northeast US) had been run by a pride organization for quite a while. i had actually worked with them in my earlier years, organizing high school volunteering events, gone to meetings, spoken to their leaders. i had small doubts--seeds of curiosity that had tickled me, but i was young. 15 when i first started joining them, and didn't think i had the voice to speak with.

then, as time went on, i became more cautious. kept up appearances, but started talking to other people. local people, queer businesses and artists who tried to work with them. found out they overcharged for displays, yet openly supported the local police department for tabling. gave those police extra help, and headlined them. come to find out one of their head members supported tr*mp. the majority of leaders lived in a different state, and didn't actually know, nor represented, the lives of people in my city. fishy, and confusing. i stopped volunteering when i left for college in a different city.

it stayed in my mind. they used keith haring art for promos, touting that they held the licensing for it. i ended up emailing the haring estate--they did not. kept the hushed whispers around the city, asking questions

then--the big bad. the big bad that shouldn't have had to happen. they made a pride post about stonewall's anniversary, misgendering the individuals there. spending most of the post praising the police officers there that night, calling them "brave". stonewall.

was i shocked? no. but i was kicking myself. i'd seen the signs half a decade before. i'd met with the group and been uncomfortable with how white the leaders were, not representing the identity of our city. the city--our city--was the one that released the more colors more pride flag, yet the largest pride group was uplifting the police, was lying, was actively harming the individuals from the city in order to promote more and more force and rainbow capitalism.

we joke a lot about pride being overrun by rainbow capitalism--but what hides underneath is more egregious. it may not be on the surface of discomfort, but by fuck is it there right below the skin.

they disbanded. local run events started cropping up more prominently. it isn't fully what it should be, right now, but it's starting to get there. it took longer than i think any of us wanted, sadly, but it's happening

i implore you to peel back that layer. look, just a little deeper. find the roots and pull them up. i don't want it to come to hateful media presentations to have to take down the elements--maybe just as simple as choosing to find a different road. a different event. see who is actually representing our community as a whole, not trying to sift through to find their own powers. it's not a big action as an individual, but as more people come together, they break down the walls built around our frustrations. the dam has to break some day, hasn't it?

#i do want to say from someone who worked for a mega organization as well--do NOT support them without hesitation either #we give and we give to the powers at hand in hopes that the powers have our interests in mind but they do not.#they all secretly seek out the same thing. power structures and monetary gains #find your community and find the crack in the walls #ok that's my rant for tonight #it's just been sitting on my mind and i needed to put it somewhere #my inbox is always open for chats about this or questions on how to organize or what to look for which i'm more than happy to talk about #i work less in proper channel activism these days because i just. trust them less and less. i've been trying to find new ways myself.#i want to make sure anyone else and everyone else can do what they can if they can #anyway love happiness and light to everyone else this pride season and every pride season along the way #pride #gay pride #lgbtq pride #activism #leftism #idk what else to tag this so like lmk

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