#eiji nochizawa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

knifvd · 1 year

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" hey . did you know , nochizawa ? if you go to professor's lab after hours , there's a girl with beautiful , pinstraight hair there . "

" sure man . and i'm sure the ghosts you told me about there are best friends with her . "

" i'm serious . ask the professor if you can lock up tonight , and you'll see her . "

" this seems like a really , poor elaborate ruse to get out of having to lock up tonight . "

irritation is heavy on nochizawa's body as he plays with keys , tossing them up and down , eyes staring at the clock , always staring , always waiting . gentle clings and clacks of metal are what keeps him awake , and maybe , just maybe he's grateful for it . " only a few more minutes , " he whispers to himself , eyes flickering to door . poor , broken boy he is , still waits , always waiting for HER to walk through , to walk in and greet him with the same smile he always loved seeing . ( he is the hopeless puppy . forever to wait for someone who will never return . he'll never get it , will he ? she's gone . )

eiji pushes himself away from the desk , rolls away in the chair before standing up ; doesn't bother to put it away , doesn't even give it a second glance as he stands up , flicks the light off . maybe if he were younger the dark would've scared him --- the eerieness of the computers humming , the flickering lights of the PCs ... he'd much rather be at his own , at the very least . but the light in the building's hallway still burns bright , flourescent LEDs almost hurting his eyes in comparison to the darkness that envelopes him .

" i should've just told that bastard to lock up himself , " he grumbles , and with a final toss of the keys , he sees it . sees her . for a moment , for a SINGULAR moment , he swears it's yuuna . knows it's not , knows it can't be ( desperate child you are , to cling to the memory and sands of time . you've spent so much time , so so much time trying to execute something that --- well , no matter . we both know the truth ) , but eyes still follow the figure after reality sets in .

( you must be a sinner . you must be : heart captured by someone who's taken it to the grave , still frantically searching for any pieces of her you can take . you must be a sinner . there should be no other on your mind , cavern in chest no less carved out by grief , your heart is hers , it'll always be hers , you swore it to yourself when you saw the life leave her eyes , you swear it to yourself now when you demand the little you have left of her from others . bastard boy you've become , violent boy , tragedy boy , you were never made for love . never , ever . you must be a sinner . you must be a sinner . your heart has always been yuuna . it always has been . you made sure of it .

--- but god , for a moment , you swore the figure you saw was beautiful . )

he's not a hero . he's sworn this over and over to himself , he doesn't do CHARITY , he doesn't do forgiveness , he doesn't . he doesn't , but ...

( you just like fighting . you like the feeling . makes you feel something other than the NUMBNESS and pain and anger from the things that hold you back . the adrenaline that rushes through you with every slice , with every LEVEL , with every boost , with the adoration from the lower levels , it's invigorating . it makes you feel human again . in a way only she could . )

what is she doing ? is she stupid ? light blue , velvet cape kisses the dirt ground ; blonde hair adorned with flowers that have been braided in , crystal earrings just barely catching sunset light to SHINE . but she's frozen . doesn't move . doesn't speak . head canted upwards , presumably looking at the AMALGAMATION this playspace calls a boss . it roars , it roars loud , echoing , and he waits , waits for her to do something as it CHARGES , anything . MOVE , IDIOT . PULL YOUR WEAPON . DO SOMETHING .

body moves before he can think . IT'S QUICK WORK . the defeat does nothing but offer the ego boost he's craving , especially after a particularly HARD day of his internship . chest heaves , as weapon fizzes out of existence and back into INVENTORY . ego fades , as it always does , and stark irritation crawls up his throat : the only friend he's allowed to ever come close to him --- " what's your problem ? were you going to just stand there and let it maul you to de---? "

it's her .

" ... m'sorry ? " aiko offers up gently , vanilla lip gloss just barely sticking together as she looks up towards the taller one . head cants to the side ever so gently . golden eyes , owlish , pierce through the OTHER , face practically expressionless . " i ... ah , i don't ... " ice melts into confusion , as menu is pulled up so carelessly in front of him ( new player ! it screams , it screams and screams and something inside of him strikes a chord ) , eyebrows knitting together , " i --- i am sorry ... for , uh , being a bother , i am not quite su --- "

" it's fine . really , " eiji offers , and the voice sounds foreign on his ears , " although you should be careful who you open your menu up in front of . "

" oh ! " she blinks owlishly , and it's gone as soon it came ( almost with a practiced ease ) , looks up to the other , " thank you , again , um , " squints from behind long lashes , before blinking , " EIJI . "

( her voice . it's so ... different from hers . so pulled back , so cold , lingering tones of curiosity and fear . there's no happiness there . you want , no , need to look deeper . you need to see if there's still grey and void behind the girl . to prove to yourself . to prove to her . but the way she whispers his voice --- with mirth , and coyness ...

it's like she's whispering a prayer . )

" AIKO . can i send you a friend request ? i can help you level up , " ears hear his voice , but doesn't process that he's speaking until he sees it . it's a moment , so brief , so brief from girl he's already dubbed iceberg , but it's red hot irritation that flares up in golden hues , hot to the touch , and for a moment , he swears his chest tightens in retaliation , afraid to be burnt .

it's gone , as soon as it came , and same , blank look is offered to him . " ... um , sure ... but i don't ... know how to accept ... "

sigh . " i'll show you how . "

" aish , ishikawa does it again !! you'd think that they'd be worser for wear as an UNDERGRADUATE student , but man , am i glad they're on the team , " coworker aerates , " the back bone of this entire programming section , at the very least . "

he resists the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of infamous supervisor as he packs his bag ( an earlier day , he'll be glad for . ghost girl from the hallway , or , aiko , he'll dub her --- intuition to tell him that he's right , they're the same ) . " he can't even be bothered to show up for our shift , he can't be that good , " eiji scoffs to himself , before tossing up a lazy hand in severance . HE'S A MAN with a mission --- to find out more about this aiko character more memory retreival . no time for dilly dallying .

practically elbows his way past someone trying to enter the lab , headphones blasting music before briskly walking off towards the exit of the building . " excuse me , " but he doesn't sound very sorry . ( tragedy child , you'd do better to pay better attention to your surroundings . )

...

was that eiji ? owlish eyes seem to decieve her , software engineer holding open laptop gently in hands , lines of code running in several windows , as another coworker comes to touch her shoulder . " ishikawa , are you alright ? sorry about eiji , he's a bit ... moody . "

CONFIRMATION . gentle child she is , shrugs off the other's touch with slightly raised eyebrows , nodding . " ah , yes , i am ... alright . " eyes linger down the hallway as if waiting for him to reappear through the doors , before she bows her head , " pardon the interruption . i would like to discuss some lines of code for the server maintence tonight before i head home for the day ... "

" i am sorry . i had to finish some projects up , " liar offers to the other . no longer donned in braided flower crown , she looks eerily familiar to him : more like the time he saw her that fated night .

eiji to look up towards from bartop , " you're fine . the servers underwent maintence anyways , so i haven't been waiting long . "

head cants to the side . " mai - tehn - ence ? "

a chuckle escapes his lips . she's cute . " yeah . they were updating some things to make ORDINAL run smoother . "

( fuck . you didn't say that . you didn't say that . sinner . you're a sinner . cute ? yuuna was beautiful . she's everything you ever wanted , everything you ever needed . you're a fool , to be so easily distracted by pretty vanilla lipgloss , long , pinstraight hair and frosted over facade , she's everything you should despise . yuuna antithesis . )

" oh . i see . "

" pardon the intrusion , but are you a student at █████ ? " nods . " i thought so . i've seen you studying in the same building i work at . "

oh really ? don't mistake ice on her features for bemusement , no , never , all but gentle angel that blinks up , if not , see the faux awe in her countenance at his observation skills . " we should hang out some time . not ... in ordinal . "

rare smile curls 'pon glossed lips , and he's drunk on it . never thought he'd be able to elicit anything from her other than CURIOSITY and frost ; to see warmth in her features and happiness warming her voice . he's a sinner . he knows he is , he must be . he'd kill to see something like that on her features again .

" i'll ... think about it . "

" you have to fight EVENTUALLY , aiko , you can't just not level up . you're practically an NPC at this point , " eiji argues ( you flinch . had you always done that ? he's not sure . ) , but she doesn't look up from bartop . dagger looks more like prism as she drags the sharp blade into the wood . they're numbers . they almost look familiar , but they don't keep his attention , not for LONG , as he waves his hand in front of her features , in an effort for hers .

" ... i don't ... want to , " she manages out , but it's almost like a snap , find one half of weapon pair fizzling out of existence , finding it's way back to sheath on thigh , " i don't want to fight eiji . " looks at the other , first of few eye contacts she makes with him through light locks .

frustration builds , red hot , crawls up his throat like evil jealousy , bittter enough to make his features contort into a scowl . " i can't keep carrying you to level you up . one day you're gonna get HURT by one of the bosses because you refuse to fight and i won't be there to help you , " he says , trying to keep his tone even . PITY PROJECT has turned annoyance , irregardless of beauty , her petulantness is more than nuisance . it's distraction from what he needs to do . he can't . he can't .

( why , because she gives you a concious ? can't stand to tell the one who seems to all but look up to you what a dirty fucking liar you are , stealing things that never belonged to you . she just needs a friend . she just needs a friend . you're going to put your own selfishness above hers ? what a bastard child you are . )

and then , so matter - of - factly , " no i ... won't . "

" or other players are going to start raiding --- "

" i don't ... care . i like what i do . "

" okay then find someone else to carry your sorry ass , because it's not going to be me anymore , " he spits out like gasoline to the flame , eyes downcast at the symbols and numbers she had so gently carved into the table . it chokes him --- eiji's own anger --- leaves a sinking feeling in his stomach .

( she just wants a friend . )

fuck . eyes close as he sighs , rubbing back of his neck , " i didn't , i didn't mean it like that aiko , i --- " he picks his gaze up from the table , but there's no one there . no semblance of ice girl , just the bustle of the rest of the players in the bar . pulls up menu , but there's no record of her anywhere in his friends list . no chat logs , none of her silly little flower crown gifts or bouquets she was so insistent on giving him . nothing but the bare bones he had when he first met her in his inventory .

( she just wanted a friend , eiji . )

he's not sure why he agreed to lock up again . some kind of self sacrificing martyr he must be , to have agreed while his coworkers snickered off about seeing some ghost girl that he's obsessed with --- but still finds himself in the same situation as it began . he doesn't have time for this , he doesn't have time for her ---

--- and yet , he tosses the keys up , and it falls into his hands with a dull clack . up , down , clack . up , down , clack . up , down , clack . up , down , footsteps , clack . up , footsteps , down , footsteps , clack .

footsteps ?

eiji's body moves faster than his brain can comprehend , nearly tripping over the office chair at the desk in an effort to try and catch up to the figure he knows has to be his NPC . " aiko ! " calls out to the other down the hall . ( she's smaller than her in game model , he notices , and walks with a lighter cadence than she does in game . she's more ... frail . )

SOFTWARE PROGRAMMER to turn towards the other's : recognizance flittering ever so gently over countenance for just a MOMENT , but the familiar ice is back as soon as it had left . meets his eyes for a moment , golden eyes if only to water at the sight of the other . " aiko , come back ! "

starts to SPRINT towards her as she slips out the entrance , and just when he thinks he's got her , she slips out into the darkness of the NIGHT . he's heaving when he manages to exit after her . THE DARNKESS that envelopes the nighttime leaves him no room for error , but even then ---

--- she's nowhere to be found .

his body aches , it aches , he ACHES . eiji's health points blink an emblazoned red , as does the blooming injury in his stomach . vision blurs , falling to his knees as he begins to pray to whatever god there is out there , he prays , he prays . he's a sinner , he knows , but he still needs to save yuuna .

( you delusional child . she's gone . )

so he cowers . he cowers and admits his defeat , to this reset that he knows he'll have to endure , but he'll do it . he'll do it for yuuna . he'll come back better , and STRONGER , he'll figure it out all over again . DEAFENING ROAR reverberates in his eardrums , and sinner he is , prepares himself for the final blow ---

" down , pochi . " cool voice fills the playarena ; frosted over , sends chills down his spine . silence preceeds the whistling of the wind ; dares to open his eyes . velvet blue cape blows in front of him , figure to cast shadow . he recognizes it , he recognizes it , he knows it , he spent nights in the labratory chasing it down for a chance , for a chance to apologize . beast in front of him is no less subdued puppy at her command , tail wagging and brushing up into her hand , DEMANDING pets like a cat would && she had just returned home from a long journey . an almost ethereal GLOW surrounds the petite woman , as she looks back at him .

( and it's there . the STARK IRRITATION he saw before when they met : burning bright in golden eyes that had been previously hollow . there's no ice , no more grey , no more VOID , but something more like bonfire set ablaze and entrapped with nothing but more gasoline . except this time , it stays . the mirth , besirchment of and at his expense . the CONDESCENSION . it doesn't leave . it stays . ) no less archangel delivering judgement , she looks towards the beast , which blinks out of existence , before turning towards the one keeled over , squatting to his level .

" how ... ? "

" MAYBE ... it's time for a formal introduction ... nochizawa , " head cants to the side , long , brilliant locks tumbling as she does so , eyes cutting him OPEN , surgical knife picking him apart like she's ready to feast . " i'm ... aiko ... ishikawa . "

there's a certain kind of intrigue he gets while working with her . never to admit it aloud : but woman is just as frosted over in person as she is on the SERVERS , speaking to coworkers in CLIPPED tones whenever they came to check up on the two of them in the other office . ( remember : do not fall to the temptation . she's not yuuna . ignore the comments , the snide comments about being her favorite , about what they must be doing , you're doing this for yuuna . this is all for her . ) but she lacks the condescension she has in servers , speaks to the others as if they're equals , speaks to eiji as if he's an equal when she seems to be so clearly leagues ahead of them in what needs to be done .

" you ... have a question . speak , " small hand waves , and MOTIONS for the person across from her to speak , snaps him out of his PRETENDING TO DO THINGS facade , and almost practiced sheepish look that appear 'pon features . ( you have more in common with her than you thought . she lied to you , you lie to her . an EYE FOR AN EYE . anything for yuuna . )

eiji awkwardly clears his throat , " you're not an intern , right , aiko ? " he doesn't miss the flicker of gaze from laptop screen to his features , a split moment , but still there .

" you're ... correct . i'm getting paid . "

" can i ask you how much ? " posed question is what causes the petite programmer to stop the incessant typing . there's a pregnant pause , eye contact anywhere but him as she types numbers into the number pad , jabbing with middle finger , and pressing enter a few times . swivels the laptop to face him , to show code running on one side , and calculator on the other half of it . there's a feeling in his stomach . something green , and evil , feels it climb up his throat as he chokes out his answer . " holy shit , aiko . "

and just as easily as she had shown him , turns the laptop towards her again to continue to type , focus no longer on man in FRONT of her . " more ... or less . with teachers aid pay ... included . "

( and suddenly , it's all the more clear than ever before . )

eiji can't exactly train with her beady little eyes watching him . knows she's not , that she probably couldn't care LESS if he killed the same training dummy or bot over and over , or if ripped him to SHREDS . ( even the exosuit can't save you from your all consuming guilt . she's not watching , but still feel sick to your stomach whenever she offers that angelic smile , that rare smile that makes you feel like you're committing SIN upon sin . ) " you're not even training with me . you should just do your test codes inside , " motions to her small little cottage she's been ever so kind to OPEN to him , as he glances towards the programmer who holds a menu in front of her he can barely comprehend .

similar code floats on the menu , but girl seems more alive as she uses hands to grab pieces of code , flipping through pages and pages and WINDOWS of lettering that all but zooms by . " mmm , can't . "

" why not ? "

" someones been ... ah ... pking players , " aiko says distractedly , " and there's ... rememnants ... trails in the CODE . they're sloppy , but ... just ... tch . "

his blood runs cold at her words . freezes in place in front of TRAINING dummy . a trail ? a trace ? rememnants ? but he'd been so careful . he'd been so so , careful . muted sounds of arena come back to LIFE at hearing the iced words , " and i would ... rather you not get mutilated . "

" how ... " voice hardly is able to reach his own ears above the sound of blood RUSHING , some kind of evil envy crawling up his throat , no less than bile , peering over her shoulder as she expands what he can only assume is an administrative menu and backlogs . “ how did you know ? “

and he sees it . sees it in golden eyes that SPARKLE at the mention of her passion , something so easily obtained by him by a simple question . knows it’s a rarity for girl so usually entombed by her own ice , he almost relishes in it . ( the giddiness and warmth that blooms in his own chest , it feels like betrayal . he doesn’t know who it’s because of — the girl he’s trying to save , or the girl he’s destroying in the process of . ) “ i’ll … show you , ” careful words fall from frozen lips as she easily shows him the newest pieces of CODE ; if only to explain the absence of missing archival data that should’ve never gone missing in the first place . he soaks , and he’s engaged , asking questions much like student would , and dutiful TEACHER’S ASSISTANT and supervisor she is , she has no problem answering .

what a fool .

he stands above the crumpled person : no less child cowering away from monster he is , although his USB is happily full , especially with data as retrieved from his darling little supervisor . it’s the same person who had convinced him to lock up that first night : the one who convinced him of ghost girl , with a sneer and condescension as he tricked eiji into locking up after him .

“ you won’t get away with this , ” faceless NPC coworker scowls , crawling towards the now cracked cellphone under eiji’s heel . “ i’ll tell the professor . ”

a scoff , as he holds up USB DRIVE in shallow moonlight of coworkers apartment , almost filled with awe with the amount of information . “ and who is he going to believe ? the nameless intern , or aiko’s protégé ? the one who can’t hurt a single hair on anyone’s head ? yeah , i’m sure he’ll definitely believe the broken ribs are my fault , ” he turns on his heel , slipping the USB into his pocket satisfactorily , crouching down to the level of his beaten coworker ( albeit by his hands ) . “ and just between the two of us , i’m not going to stop until i have every SINGLE piece of yuuna from the original game . ” the person in front of him coughs up some dark liquid that nochizawa recognizes but doesn’t put a name to : as if afraid of incriminating himself in his own brain . “ and i don’t care if i have to KILL every single beta tester for it . i’ll do it . for her , ” he says simply , smiling a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes , before turning on his heel towards the door .

“ i’ll — i’ll tell ishikawa ! ”

he freezes . blood runs cold at the name ( don’t remember . don’t remember it . don’t remember angelic face framed so easily in the REALITY’S PIXELS , don’t think about rare stolen smiles and looks between the two of you like there’s a secret she’s only let you in on . don’t think about how nice her ACTUAL hands feel when she places lopsided flower crown on your head , how calloused fingers just ever so gently scratch at your scalp , how the motion — how the girl makes you feel like home . ) eiji’s voice is caught in his throat : and decrepit body on marbled floor notices , and in taunting voice , “ i’ll tell her , and it’ll ruin you . ”

THE BOILING anger is something he’s never been proud of , even now , so dear reader , look away . look away as the anger burns bright , burns RED , and foot comes down on mangled fingers that clutch onto his phone , grinding into the floor , bright smile , “ you won’t tell her anything , right ? ” harrowing screech leaves the other student’s mouth ( they’re just a kid . they’re just a kid . SO ARE YOU . everything has a price , and the difference between you and your pathetic coworker is that you’re willing to pay it . )

“ please , ” he says between sobs and tears of pain , “ p - please stop , please . ”

“ say it . ”

“ I WON’T — I WON’T TELL AIKO — just — just stop . ”

satisfied sigh escapes eiji’s lips as he releases the other’s fingers from underneath his shoe , looking towards the figure that holds his fingers , cradling them that are certainly at least sprained , if not broken . “ good boy . ” he takes a stride towards the door of the other’s apartment , and then , looks behind him , as if remembering something . “ i’m the only one she lets refer to her by her first name . don’t act so familiarly with her , yeah ? ”

and with prized usb tucked safely away in his pocket , he strides out silently , slamming the door behind him .

“ … you’re here late . ” he’d recognize that voice anywhere , picked out of a crowd , so easily smoothed over with the practiced ice and golden tones , feels the familiar feeling of her small hands , mauled to nothingness by typing and volleyball and callouses ever so gently tracing something on the back of his neck : some kind of designs , numbers , SOMETHING recognizable but not to the point where it can be deciphered . feels her eyes on his screen , but he continues to type , leaning into her touch like clockwork .

" i noticed a pattern --- in the victims , " he says , and it's so EASY , the way he LIES , as if he's practiced it TIME and time again , " they're all from the old game . the ones that got PK'd ? they're all from the old game , so i was thinking that if we at the --- " motions to his CODE , barely held together by poor strings and syntax , but feels her hair brush over HIM , falling from behind her ears and to go fill his nose with smell of peach and vanilla : " at the very least , we can send a MESSAGE , and warn them of what's been HAPPENING . " serpent beneath the flower knows the reasoning : is all but an easily emailed list of every single person that has ever been a part of SAO , ever had the privilege of talking to YUUNA , a list . a very , thinly veiled hit list .

gentle hum tumbles from ice princess' lips , and the loss of CONTACT is felt , and for a MOMENT , he almost misses it . almost . " it's ... a good idea , even if ... crudely DONE . " he tries not to wince at the flatness , still searching for validation , even NOW . " i can do it for you , if you'd like . i have the ... player database , and ... it's a bit too dangerous for you to be doing anything on your own , " but gaze isn't on the monitor , instead on him , golden eyes from behind glasses all but observing . it's not a COMMAND , but permission .

( oh , and it's the look he was waiting for , what he wanted , what he NEEDED : software engineer all but pliable putty in his hands , ready to do what he wanted . if he were to tell her to JUMP , eyes ask him how high . ) " i can do it , ai - chan , " he says , brightly , carefuly , a little TOO innocently . " i know you have a lot on your plate right now . you can just give me the list , and i'll do it . you can check my work when i'm done . "

there's a moment , her golden eyes catching his DARKER ones , and for a moment , he swears he sees it . disapproval . concern . something he's not SURE he'd ever see on her coutenance , but it's gone as quickly as it came , as she offers up , " sure . we can ... do that . you have to ... um , agree to call it QUITS for tonight . we could ... both use the BREAK . maybe ... u ... udon ? " awkward smile curls 'pon the woman's lips , which only grows as he CONCEDES .

( you'll just pawn off the code onto her once you're DONE looking at the database of old players . claim that you couldn't figure out something as SIMPLE as that , and she'll do it , and you'll have her LIST , and then you'll have yuuna , and it'll be good . things are finally ...

... finally looking up . )

" i'm just ... i'm just ASKING you to stay safe , " looks so small , so SHEEPISH as she fiddles with crystal dagger , tossing them up , and then down , up , and down with PRACTICED ease , low , ethreal hum coming from the weapon . when he squints into the artificial SUNLIGHT , as it catches the sunlight , he swears it looks like something MORE , something longer , curved , demands an AUDIENCE , but it's only for a moment . maybe the lack of sleep , the CONSTANT race against the morning sun of real life to get the AS MUCH as he can from the SWORD ART players . he must be hallucinating . the crossing of NAMES off the list is getting to him . he KNOWS it .

" you're asking me to stop PLAYING . "

" just until --- just until we figure out who's doing ... doing this , " she says carefully , " ever since i gave you the lih --- list , it seems like ... like players are ... are more in DANGER , " gentle pout , looking up towards the other , hand gripping onto his suit ever so GENTLY , hand on the small of his BACK , comfort , touch , CONNECTION : closest thing she'll ever get to it .

irritation BOILS up his throat , as he pushes off her hand , hard to stop the overtiredness and irritation that poisons his voice , his BLOOD , he's tired , he's just tired , doesn't want to mean it , not REALLY , but it flows from MOUTH before he can stop himself , " GOD , YUUNA , back off already . i already TOLD you --- "

it's there again . the LOOK that he saw when he first met her . the stark irritation , one that puts his to shame , blown up into red as eyes harden ever so GENTLY , if there's irritation , it's gone , and she pulls away from him . ( she's just a child . she's still healing . even NOW , she's healing . so when he speaks , when he yells with nothing of the softness she loves , she craves from him , it hurts . no less scared sixteen year old begging her father for a BREAK , begging for him to be kinder to her . chest is TIGHT , and hurts , she hurts , and she aches , and it wasn't supposed to be like that . not with him . )

" what did ... you call me ? "

so he does what he does best . he lies . " i said ... aiko . "

a pause . " no ... you didn't . " eyes fall , and dagger she held in free hand shimmers out of EXISTENCE , and when eiji BLINKS , the ice princess is gone , and he's left alone .

" your work's simply IMPECCABLE once again , ishikawa , " professor BOASTS with golden tones and humour , and the software engineer sits with hands tucked behind her back , so demurely and politely , and he can't help but SCOWL .

( she still hasn't messaged you back . given you the COLD SHOULDER in the lab , acted as if you were no more another wall in the cubicle , another supply closet . she does nothing but exceed and soar and excel : everything you found yourself ADORING about the engineer , and you suppose , you had HOPED she'd be a little more PERTURBED about your absence , but the rumours were right . she's a ROBOT through and through . poor of you to think DIFFERENTLY . know you're supposed to relish in this , in and out of her LIFE with the list and code and everything you needed , but there's still bitterness lingering in the base of your throat . )

" can't stand to see her move on ? i'd be bitter too , " a snarky coworker says , " i wouldn't fumble the BAG like that , man . but hey , maybe i FINALLY have a chance with ishikawa because of your idiocy . "

it shouldn't matter . shouldn't . knows it SHOULDN'T , IRRITATION a bitter mistress , good memories doing nothing but rotting and souring on the back of his tongue , as he lazily scrolls the list ishikawa gave him . his next hit should be ONE of the bigger fish to FRY . although the name is redacted , the IP ADDRESS and account log number isn't , much like the rest of the LIST , but ip address lets him know it's probably another coworker . good . they tend to have more for yuna than anyone ever could . but even when it shouldn't matter , wants to make sure that it doesn't , his VOICE is speaking before he can stop it . " she's way out of your league , and you're pathetic for even thinking about it . "

" pump the hate brakes , fox and friends , " his faceless coworker says , " i was just joking . "

" too bad your jokes suck . "

the servers are eerily quiet . knows it's because of server MAINTENENCE , that people still fear the updates , because last time , a good portion of them lost their inventories on death even when modded to not do so . even ADMIN PLAYERS lose privileges ( from what he wormed out from his female companion ) . it's close to lawless , with so many holes in the code . so there's no players . so it's quiet . it's quiet , but it's good . it's SUPPOSED to be good . leave less viewers , less of a mess , less of a CHANCE that he'd get caught . in and OUT , and he'd leave with the TREASURE TROVE of information as PROVIDED by his lovely companion who's now long since forgotten his NAME .

it's in a more secluded area : dark , and dingy , decrepit and dilapidated castle that seems more suited to aiko than ANYTHING he'd like . ( or maybe he wants to dream about her clinging to his arm like she used to WHENEVER something seemed to scare her too MUCH . clinging to him like a god . he relishes in it , even when she's not here . ) hand drifts to the HILT of his own weapon , much like safety blanket for him : echoes of his SHOES reverberating around the empty hallway . torches that used to LIGHT UP the castle fall apart , and traces of ashes kiss the floors and walls , this place used to be loved . the attention to detail means it had to be designed by AIKO . ( even now you seek her OUT . don't you see what this means ? this place echoes of her , and guilt is a bastard of a mistress to you , to make you frown . )

he pushes a large wooden door open : ornate gold now rusted , with TIME , dust nowhere to be touched . is it even POSSIBLE for someone to be here ? ishikawa's list hasn't failed him so FAR , so he'll put faith . even when there hasn't been a soul in this area , in abandoned , what he presumes , boss arena , and presses his hand against the door , and pushes it open with a creak .

it's a throne room . abandoned , no less than the rest of the castle , a thin layer of dust collecting on red carpet , and it shouldn't SCARE HIM , it shouldn't scare him , no , it's just a NORMAL throne room , par for the COURSE , but it's the blood . the stench of BLOOD and dried brown spots that he knows used to be red , knows it in his BONES . everything in his body screams , screams for him to move , to leave , to LEAVE amalgamation of the room , little voice of reason to tell him that he'll be the next thing PAINTED on there , but he can't . he can't move . he can't MOVE , frozen in place with heart in his throat . when he moves , the only thing he can do is bring out his trusted old weapon . cinches his grip onto it , as eyes FALL to center of the ROOM . towards the throne .

moonlight shows dust that cascades in the air , some red areas where it seems BLOOD has not fully oxidized . the shadows seem to perfectly cut in and out areas in order to give bloodied footstep guide as to where to STEP . eiji squints , and approaches , footsteps almost COMPLETELY silent upon the dusty red carpet that FALLS down the entirety of the throne ROOM . approaches , and as he does , vision sharpens . there's a figure , in the chair , and it sends a SHIVER down his spine , air suffocating him . there's been someone here this entire time and he didn't even NOTICE ? he should turn back . he knows he should , but he stays . he stays .

SOUND of metal against STONE , sharp and loud snaps his attention to IT . beautiful , ethereal , curved blade shimmers and catches moonlight . he's almost entranced , mind not how it looks like glass , translucent and begging for eyes to catch it , almost hypnotizing : and it happens . the recognizance in his heart as it sinks into his stomach . it's familiar . the familiar feeling in his stomach is the ANXIETY he swore he'd never feed into again , the feeling when he heard that the love of his LIFE was dead , that he'd never see her , never AGAIN . he recognizes it .

( he swears it looks like something MORE , something longer , curved , demands an AUDIENCE , but it's only for a moment . maybe the lack of sleep , the CONSTANT race against the morning sun of real life to get AS MUCH as he can from the SWORD ART players . he must be hallucinating . the crossing of NAMES off the list is getting to him . he KNOWS it . )

" you know , in the FIRST iteration ... i was requested to MAKE an uncensored version . they wanted to see the BLOOD , and ... how much there'd be in a GIVEN boss fight . a given quest , " cooled VOICE , so even , so pulled away , so FAMILIAR , just like crystal scythe that begs for attention . " and they asked ... me to do it . to TRY and ... give one . a boss fight that would MAKE PLAYERS ... fall to their knees . give them MORAL QUANDRY . "

familiar head HANGS off arm of the throne , braided flower crown to fall out of hair , pin straight , light pink hair falling as it DOES SO . he remembers , remembers a time where the flowers would remain fresh as day , a new sparkling COLOR for each time they logged in together : but they're brown . brown , and rotting . there were days when he thinks that the sight of the smaller coder would bring nothing but warmth in his chest , but it's tight , and cold . eyes catch his from under the moonlight , and he searches , for anything , for his precious ai - chan , for her to look at him , and say , surprise , this was all a DREAM .

B̸̦̝̒̔͒̈́U̵͇̼̬̮̦̓̆̅͘͘T̶̙̣͍̰͆ ̸̳̪̒̀ ̴̧̖͈̒́̾͂T̸̛̜͈̱̋͛̏͝H̶̛͔̖́̚͜͝Ë̷͎̽̌̀͝R̷̤͎̣͐E̶̥̱̩̬̅'̵͚̣̤̮͐S̶̨̼̬̺̻̐ ̵̦̩͕̅͒̃͘ ̸͖̣̺̈́̽̒͛͆N̶̛̦̪̿̈̃̀Ò̶̲̌̚T̸͔̎̚H̵̞̥̯̆͑̄̎̒I̸̜͉̝͌̚N̷̥̣̳͊G̵͇̬̐ ̵̧̥͚̺̮̓̀̂͑͠ ̵͇͈̺̀͆͐T̵̡̟͈̣̿̓̈̌H̶̡͇̩͔̃̉͑E̸̜̬̾̉̾͒͠R̷̟͘͜Ȩ̸̲̩̇͊̿̚̕ ̸̺͔̐ ̶̠͝͝.̶̛̱̤̈́

she's no less shell of a person looking at him , as she TUGS wordlessly on the crystaline scythe ( looks so light , so delicate in her small hands , like glass . scratches that bore deep into the old marble say different . ) and in dizzy of pixels , it returns back to the FAMILIAR ONE HALF of dagger pair .

he steadies himself , grasping onto hilt with a " ... i'm looking for the BETA TESTER , aiko , " eiji says evenly , " and i don't WANT to hurt you , and your list said they were here , so just TELL me where they are , and IT'LL all be okay , " but his own voice sounds so COLD , it's hard for himself to EVEN believe himself . " you ... don't have ADMIN privileges right now , aiko . don't make me hurt you . just show me the beater . "

head cants to the side : golden eyes looking at the other , scalpel that DEMANDS an answer , retribution , but the words that FALL from her lips are almost ODDLY innocent , as if not understanding . " beta ... tester ? "

IT'S ALMOST like she's his aiko again , leaning on him for support , asking mundane questions about his LIFE , about the game , his experience , so soft , so PLIABLE , and he can FEEL in his bones , she's so close , so close to being his . maybe she'd help him . " yeah , ai - chan . the people who played sword art online in beta . i'm just talking to them , promise , " cheeky grin that plays on his LIPS seems so believable , and it ALMOST seems okay .

almost .

with DOLL LIKE movements , admin sits up from the chair , golden eyes pondering the BLOOD SPLATTER on stone walls , floors , CEILINGS . " it never ... made it into the GAME , though . "

he pushes down the URGE to roll his eyes , and plays the LITTLE GAME she's so insistent on dragging out , and he DOES , but a scoff still ESCAPES his lips . " i know . " a mumble passes her lips as she looks towards the ground , now fully standing and passing thumb over dagger , and he can't HEAR , he can't hear her , always MUMBLING , she's always fucking mumbling , " you're MUMBLING , again , aiko . i don't ... i don't care about your WORK in this game , just tell me where the fucking beta tester , is , aiko , GOD ! for ONCE , can you just fucking tell me where the BEATER is ? "

loud SOUND of crystal against METAL , traces his gaze back to MOONSCYTHE in her hand . it's ALMOST comical . almost . small CHILD so easily dwarved by scythe twice her size , " --- for sword art online . it NEVER made it into SWORD ART ONLINE . the other developers agreed that it was too violent to HAVE my boss and the gore in game so they CUT my area . "

oh . it seems to CLICK into place : like final puzzle piece coming together , and sinking feeling of reality , and this tightness in his chest no longer is fear , but the sinking reality of betrayal . " oh . it's you . " ( and so this is your second heart break . you think it must be , this harrowing feeling that eats you up from the inside out . FINDS YOURSELF toying with ideas , solutions , to this PROBLEM , this five foot NOTHING problem in front of you that continues to GROW into a bigger and bigger problem the longer you wait . she's nothing but a nuisance , even from the start you knew this . guess you were BETTER at telling the future than you'd like to admit . )

beta tester finds GRIN CRAWLING onto her features , evil , IMPISH , and beaten down and hurt by the man in front of her . it's an odd , peculiar feeling in his CHEST , to see amalgamation of girl he had dubbed so demure , so SOFT to be so easily violent , so READY to " here's your BETA TESTER , nochizawa . " golden eyes look towards the other , no less a spear to pierce through him , a dare , WORDLESS challenge of CONDESCENSION as she meets his gaze . " you wanted ... to talk . SO LET'S talk . "

he had expected push back . he HAD , knows that most of the developers have some kind of fighting knowledge , even with admin privileges , but the downbeat wasn't something he was nearly CLOSE to prepared for .

( sharp clang as SWORD CUTS and shatters scythe , ONLY for it to shatter like broken beer bottle , and hold in suspension . one hit , TWO hits to solar plexus , and SMALL HANDS , small hands he had fallen into COMFORT with , the ones he considered home , so easily wrap their hands around his head with practiced ease , BRINGING nose to knee , sickening CRACK resounding and reverberating in his HEAD is enough to make him nauseated . )

body scatters itself across throne hall floor , back hitting stone with heavy thud , and wind is all but knocked out of him , chokes on blood that SEEPS down the back of his throat . eyes blur with tears , ( get back up , eiji . you have to get back up EIJI . ) but he can't . blow after blow he's exchanged with her leads to the same inevitable conclusion he avoids , and he knows , he knows this isn't all of it . knows by way SCYTHE seems to magically repair itself with a HAPPY kind of glittery hum , as if never been touched by his own sword that dulls in comparison .

stalks towards the OTHER , not a sweat to be BROKEN by the young SOFTWARE , twirls the SCYTHE like one would bamboo staff , curved blade just barely kissing the ground , sharp tip of blade cutting into stone , and he tries to sit up , but HEEL of boot digs into his CHEST , effectively pinning him to the wall , taking the last breath of air in his CHEST . doesn't even NEED to look to know the cold feeling against his adam's apple is her awfully pretty weapon , and doesn't bother to open his eyes . instead tries to FOCUS , focus on not LOSING everything to the girl he had so easily let into his life . " when did you know ? "

and there's SILENCE . dead SILENCE , but knows she's there , because cold crystal against his throat reassures him of that , shifts SLIGHTLY everytime she inhales and exhales . more silence , and he waits . waits for the CONDESCENSION , for her to show him why she was a beta tester , if not only for her technical skills , the ego , the FEELING of seeing those squirm . waits for it , waits for the CONDESCENSION .

but it never comes .

" why didn't you TELL me ? " voice breaks , and he's sure it's the worst thing he's heard in his life , no less than ANGEL'S cry in heartbreak and betrayal , and he dares to OPEN his eyes . he shouldn't have . her golden eyes water with the most HUMAN thing he's seen from ice princess , a betrayal and heartbreak tearing her APART as eyebrows knit together and she looks at him like it's the first time she's been allowed to breathe . " i could've helped ... i could've ... " could've done something .

( yuuna would've hated to see you like this , you know . ) and there it is . the TRUTH that he's been avoiding for days , weeks , months on end . it's a defeated sigh that escapes his lips , as he shifts , struggling to catch his breath while head pounds . " when did you know ? "

" i wanted to be wrong . "

" aiko . "

" i --- i wanted to be wrong , you weren't supposed to show up --- "

" aiko --- "

" you , " face contorts with BITTERNESS and heart break , " i wanted to be wrong , ei --- "

" AIKO . "

" I'M NOT YUUNA , eiji . "

that knocks the wind out of him more than any kick or punch or knee to the FACE , and the tears that coat her throat is enough to send more PAIN down his spine and into his STOMACH , " i know that . "

" do you ? "

( it's there again . the LOOK that he saw when he first met her . the stark irritation , one that puts his to shame , blown up into red as eyes harden ever so GENTLY , if there's irritation , it's gone , and she pulls away from him . )

" since then ? "

press of scythe into throat , eyes watering as she LOOKS down at his decrepit body . ( oh , how the tables have turned . ) " were we ... were we EVER ... " eyes look for something , ANYTHING , and she's grasping , GRASPING , for any straw , for any LEAD , anything salvageable . for proof . to FEEL like it's not just something she CREATED in her head , that she's not clinging to any sort of thread of connection . looks and searches , and she breaks her heart once more at seeing the blankness on his countenance and she closes her eyes . broken glass heart cuts her feet as she walks 'pon it but barely shows on her features once again , nothing more than ICE that shadows upon it . " okay , then . "

" aiko i --- "

" you wanted beta tester , i'll give it to you , nochizawa . " and she swings the scythe above her head .

he expects there to be SOME KIND of retribution other than his game files when he comes into work . the cops , maybe , or the PROFESSOR and a letter of resignation for him to sign , but the lab is oddly quiet , interns buried to their neck in work , and even as he takes his assigned seat , he's not even OFFERED a greeting .

peers over at the intern's monitor next to him , but the code is far more ADVANCED than anything they're used to . " it's just for TODAY , " says the intern , as if to reassure him , " the professor is looking for a new lead software engineer , " he says with a shrug , " so we're just supposed to LOOK over the code for any bugs from the updates last night . "

" what happened to aiko ? "

head cants to the side . " rumour has it she got a better offer to work on an AI project . she put in her two weeks a bit ago , but it just went into effect today . "

he looks towards the SCREENSHOT the two had taken of them together , crystal dagger glinting in sun on her thigh , his arm wrapped around her shoulder : matching flower crowns . eyes pull away from the printed photo of them together on his desk , and presses the picture frame face down on the table .

there's a look that crosses the coworker's face . " i thought she would've told you , but , here , " holds out something aqua colored and small to him , and he does a double take . " it's not a vape . believe me , i tried . it's from aiko . she told me to give it to you . "

eiji takes it gently , as if afraid it might shatter in HAND like her scythe did , but when he plugs it in to his computer , information floods the screen at a rate faster than his eyes can PROCESS . all her data from SAO and OS . admin and beta , and memories . hours of research . hours and hours of AI research , annotated and highlighted to a perfect T .

( " i could've helped . i could've done ... " )

sad smile curls upon his lips .

guess she always did have to have the FINAL word between the two of them , didn't she ?

" what did she give you ? "

a moment , and he takes out the drive . " just a recommendation letter . "

@solivcgant !!