#dude ive been dealing with like 6 dms at once every day idk what personality im using for who anymore
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Augh frankly i dont want to talk to anyone ever again i just want to go in the woods and fight people until i cant feel the pain from the cold
#i try too hard just to feel disappointed#maybe its bc i used to fist fight too much as a kid#idk maybe its some kind of withdrawal#instead i have to be some fag that draws bullshit#i should join a boxing club or something#its not the same thing man#i just need someone willing to fight for fun#maybe watching fight club is not helping im gonna be so for real#watching this movie as a kid could have done something to me#now its just making me so fucking irritated in a way#its a good movie but ive already experienced these epiphanies so its just wasted on me#theres just so many radicalising media you can experience before you grow numb to it#like yeup what else is new#bleh#man i never realised how much i used to fucking duke it out with people#well people. heh#the details are irrelevant#too many new people talking to me and it makes me realise i genuinely dont like bothering figuring out who i am#i dont like it i dont care it doesnt even matter man#i dont care…….. dont force me to think about it OK!#i literalt just say the first thing that comes to mind and then act like yeah sure thats my opinion on the matter FUCKDO I KNOW IF THATS IT#I DONT KNOW? I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ANYTHING???????????????????? YEAH SURE ☝️#fucking byllshit leave me alone#dude ive been dealing with like 6 dms at once every day idk what personality im using for who anymore#i care about the wrong people theres some people who are fine with me being lame i should care more about my friends i already have too#why am i so annoying to myself . i dont even care about other peoples opinions i think whats really bothering me is myself#i already know everybody fucking loves me i fucking love myself too or at least i think i do!!!!!!!!!!!!#what i do is that if you lie to yourself enough you end up believing it. thats been my philosophy for being happier being myself#but lately im starting to think maybe i just made it worse for myself in some twisted way#did i ruin myself man did i lie to myself so bad i cant even trust myself to be right about how i feel anymore. i dont know. i dont know man
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