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yeorisanaxox · 4 months

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ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ ➤ ᴄᴜᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄʜᴇᴇᴋs

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ ᴡ ᴏᴛ8 x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛʟʏ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴɢsᴛ

. ➬sᴄᴇɴᴀʀɪᴏ: ᴄᴜᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄʜᴇᴇᴋs

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs ɴᴏɴᴇ *ɪꜰ ʟᴏᴡᴇʀᴄᴀsᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ*

ɴᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇs ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴘᴏsᴛs! ɪ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ :)

ღhongjoong. You knew when he was frustrated— the sound his pen made, scribbling aggressively over whatever was displeasing him before starting a new page. And the process would repeat until he was too frustrated to even look at his work and bury his face in his palms. Right now he was beating himself up and letting every doubt torment him until tears.

Your hand suddenly touches his shoulder while the other gently pries his hands away from his face and you're met with those glossy eyes. Another tear escapes them as your hands gently cup his cheeks, wiping them away.

“Take a break sweetie. Come lay down for a bit.” You say more like a question, hoping that he would agree. He swallowed down a sob that was burning in his throat, “but—”

“It will all be here waiting when you come back. I promise.”

It was a short moment before he gave in and let you pull him away from his work and onto the studio couch where he realized the second he was in your arms, how exhausted he really was and dozed off not even a second later.

ღseonghwa. The duality of this man was truly unreal. On stage he put on the persona of the most intimidating being created versus off stage and how he was now, curled up underneath your pink blanket that had my melody all over it with his nintendo switch nestled in his hands, playing animal crossing. You never did understand how to play but seeing him so immersed, you weren’t sure if he was aware how close the device was to his face.

“Hwa?”

He hums in response, still looking at the screen, leaving you to have to reach over and cup his cheek and turn him to you. His eyes widened at the action, taken completely off guard. You can only laugh at how adorable he looked and booped his nose.

“The screen was too close. Don’t want you to hurt your eyes.” You tell him and rest your hand back in your lap.

“Oh.” Is all he said but you noted when he lowered the device from his face and went back to the game with a fainted blush that he was trying to bite back.

ღyunho. It was just a prank you had seen on tiktok and wanted to try on him. Walking up to him at mid bite of him stuffing another spoonful of froot loops in his mouth, he pauses when you suddenly put your palm out in front of him. Wiping the trickle of milk off his chin, looking between you and it, trying to piece together exactly what you wanted. Your fingers wiggled around boredly in the air like they were waiting and him not knowing what to do, subconsciously leans forward and places his chin in your palm.

Your instant cooing startles him a bit before he’s nervously laughing at the situation at hand.

“Is that what you wanted?”

ღyeosang. Is the kindest, most gentle soul to ever grace mankind, sometimes you can’t help but to just stare in awe at how politely he’d covered his mouth while laughing or smile shyly whenever the guys would tease him. Sometimes even turning to you with a pout for help. You’d let him lean his head against your shoulder to hide his burning cheeks, gently cooing at him asyour hands would cup them and rub them with your thumbs to comfort him.

ღsan. Always did become a bit clingy when he was drunk. Needing you to be right by his side and clinging on to you by the arm as he nuzzled his face in your neck.

“I’m not even that drunk.” He mumbles, believing it was more so to himself but you still heard it, giggling when he then hiccups, shaking your body too.

“Oh yeah? Let me see.” Nudging your shoulder to help him sit up a little. He still hugs your arm and beams up at you, making his dimples pop out.

“See—” hiccuping again. You can’t resist cupping his cheek and plant a short but sweet kiss to his cheek.

ღmingi. You believe it was one of those days for him. One of those days where he just couldn’t seem to leave your side. Wherever you went, he was sure to follow, always whining out a tiny ‘wait,’ before latching on to your wrist and going with you. Sometimes just to tease him, you can’t help it because he always reacted too wholesomely when you try to pull away from him.

Those boba eyes seemed to glisten brighter as he pouted, feigning hurt all over. You’d cup his cheeks hastily, pulling his face closer to yours, thumbing over them lovingly.

“Sorry princess, you’re just too precious.”

ღwooyoung. If there wasn’t anything this guy loved more, it was having your attention. You just didn’t understand— on the outside, he liked to portray being unbothered and waving an accusing finger of, “you’re so obsessed with me.” When really on the inside, his heart felt like it was going to beat right out his chest.

And whenever you would cup his cheeks before a kiss, it took every muscle to not cripple at your feet. Such a gentle touch yet it made his head feel so dizzy.

“Kiss me.” He mumbles against your lips, causing you to giggle. “I am kissing you honey.”

“Good.” Pecking your lips again, and again, and again. “Don’t stop.”

ღjongho. As much as you loved your boyfriend, sometimes he could be a menacing little shit. Loving how riled up you’d get from his antics, not stopping until you’re huffing and puffing, and folding your arms at him.

Now he was the one who asked if you could help take his makeup off because he felt too lazy to do it but every time you brought the cotton pad near his eyes, he’d turn his head in the other direction.

First, thinking nothing of it until he did it again a second time and a third time, seeing him bite back a smile. By the fourth and fifth, you firmly grabbed underneath his chin and held him in place. *That went straight to his dick ngl* drawing a smirk of your own, seeing him shift below you uncomfortably.

“Be a good boy and be still.”

“Woof.” He responds clearly turned on.

written by yeorisanaxox. No translations or reposting. Leave a like and reblog w [feedback is much appreciated] ✨

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metalhoops · 11 months

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Inspired by this post

Steve had watched the world end a hundred different ways. He’d lived the same day more times than he could count, watching the people he loved die or feeling himself die. There were things worse than death. There were memories he didn’t dredge up for fear of calling them into the waking world.

He'd held onto hope for the first twenty recurrent days, which had dwindled to a sense of steely determination until he’d lost count of the days. Then all that was left was the comfort of repetition. He was Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, day in and day out. Steve kept trying and failing to save Eddie until it was all he knew.

Maybe he was Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods and spent his life paying for it, tied to a rock while birds picked at his liver, only for it to grow back with each morning. Prometheus whose name, by definition, means forethought; one’s ability to consider possible futures. Steve had spent a small lifetime considering futures. It wasn’t a comparison he would’ve made on his own. That was Eddie, who’d spent his childhood with his head in thick tomes of fantasy and mythology.

Eddie Munson came to him like cheap furniture, in crudely disassembled pieces that Steve had been working tirelessly to put together. Each new loop brought him another piece of Eddie. His favourite colour was blue. He only woke up early on weekends to watch cartoons. He liked too much cream in his coffee.

The Eddie that existed in a world where Steve stayed with him and Dustin during the swarm of bats had told Steve his biggest dream was to make enough money to buy Uncle Wayne a proper home. His biggest fear was that when he died, no one would remember him.

Days or months later, with Steve repeating the same damn day, he’d finally learnt why Eddie’s love for his uncle ran so deep. Wayne had taken him in before his dad went to jail when the man caught Eddie holding another boy’s hand. In that world, Steve had stayed with Eddie in the RV as the rest of the group searched War Zone.

Eddie’s mother died when he was six. He’d told Steve that later, or earlier. Steve had and has lost his sense of past and present. Eddie loved his mother deeply, though was unsure if that love had been misplaced. He recalled two mothers, one who read him bedtime stories and threw herself around the kitchen each morning with her wild theatrics and another mother who was distant and whose temper could turn on a dime. Eddie wasn’t sure which of those mothers was his and which was the mother of memory. All good storytellers know the story shapes itself in the retelling. Eddie’s mother was Janus, god of duality.

Steve understood. He loved and hated his parents. These feelings weren’t mutually exclusive. Steve loved Eddie because he’d spent the last hundred-odd days getting to know him, but Steve hated Eddie because he kept dying. Until he didn’t.

The boys lay side by side in the red-blue soil of The Upside Down, their bleeding sides caked with mud and demonic bat viscera. In the end, Steve wasn’t sure what’d done it. It’d been so long since he’d lived Eddie’s original death that it’d been smeared by the haze of memory and conjecture. All he knew was that a sea of bats lay dead around them and that it was over. Finally, over.

Steve removed his hand from where it was pressed into his side and extended it to ensnare Eddie’s. He felt muscles tug and tear from the walls of his ribs with the effort. Blood flowed freely from the cavity, but Steve didn’t care. He wanted to hold Eddie’s hand. Holy shit, they’d done it.

Somewhere along the way, Steve had fallen in love. It’d taken him ten more iterations to reconcile with the fact he could not only like a man but love him. That was months ago, in Steve’s time. It was old news. “Steve, you still with me?” Eddie asked, his voice horse.

He was hurt, though not as badly as Steve. All his wounds were superficial. He’d be okay. Steve had been so sick of watching Eddie die, he’d been willing to put his body on the line to make sure it didn’t happen again.

In this loop, he was still ‘Steve’, not ‘Stevie’. They hadn’t grown close enough yet. Eddie only called him ‘sweetheart’ in the iterations where they kissed. Steve wanted to kiss him, but there was the taste of iron in his mouth.

“I’m okay,” Steve insisted, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He felt a sharp pain shoot through his side as Eddie pressed his hand into Steve’s wound.

“Christ, there’s a lot of blood,” Eddie muttered to himself.

He was bad with blood. He’d scraped his knee down to the bone when he was seven and ever since, the sight of gore made him queasy. Steve wasn’t meant to know that yet. In this iteration, he hadn’t told Eddie about the loop. He’d tried before, but it never helped.

Pain and blood loss drag Steve down into a familiar oblivion. He expected to wake at the beginning of the loop, emerging in The Upside Down from Lover’s Lake, but instead, he found himself in a hospital room with Eddie in a bed by his side. It was late, too late for visitors, but Eddie wasn’t sleeping. His eyes were trained on Steve, equal parts concerned and curious.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Eddie confessed, as Steve’s eyes met his.

Steve wanted to cry or scream. He wanted to untangle himself from the knot of cords and tubes to crawl beside Eddie in bed as they had curled up together in the back of the RV dozens of times before. He needed to hold Eddie to know he was alive, to understand he wasn’t going anywhere. Steve blinked away tears, balling his hands into fists. He didn’t want to scare Eddie.

“I scared you?” Steve choked out a mixture between a laugh and a sob.

Eddie didn’t know what to do. He never knew what to do when people cried. Steve learned that in the iteration where they’d lost Dustin. He didn’t want to think about it.

“You almost died, man,” Eddie explained.

He somehow understood Steve wanted him closer. Eddie got out of bed, clutching his I.V. drip as he flopped into the chair by Steve’s bedside. He wanted to hold Eddie’s hand again, but he was out of excuses. He could tell him the truth, but he didn’t know what good it would do.

Steve was still used to thinking of possible futures. He was Prometheus who, unlike Sisyphus, escaped his torment. Steve wondered what happened to Prometheus after he was rescued. Did he return to a normal life? Does anyone bother to ask? Prometheus’ story is always about punishment. Afterwards, he was a footnote in the story of Hercules, but once the heroes leave the story, what’s left?

Eddie would know the answer, but it wasn’t a conversation he’d had with this Eddie. That Eddie was dead. This Eddie was and wasn’t him. This Eddie was Janus, god of abstract duality, god of beginnings and ends, god of life and death.

“Sorry my lame-ass face is the first one you had to see. Robin and the kids were in here all day. Wheeler left flowers,” Eddie tacked on awkwardly.

This Eddie didn’t know Steve. They were strangers. Of course, things were awkward. He couldn’t know he was the one person Steve wanted to see more than anything.

“No, Ed’s—.” Slip of the tongue.

“Eddie. I’m really glad you’re here, man.”

They were back to square one, but Steve could work with that. He’d been working with that for months. This time, Eddie would remember. This time, they had the luxury of taking things slow.

“One thing’s been bugging me all day,” Steve began.

After hundreds of days of getting to know Eddie, Steve had learnt a few shortcuts, a few ways to jump-start his way into Eddie’s heart.

“Can you explain what the hell Mordor is?”

It was a tried-and-true method. By that point, Steve knew Eddie’s response off by heart, but he wanted to hear him say it. Eddie gave him the same perplexed look he always did when Steve asked. It was as though Eddie thought he knew too much like there was some secret he wasn’t letting him in on, but he didn’t challenge Steve on it. He never did.

“Harrington, have you heard of Lord of the Rings?” Yes.

“No.” A million times.

“Tell me about it.”

Read Part 2 Here

#steddie #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #drabble #ficlet #Metalhoops writes #I read the post yesterday #and I've been thinking about it ever since #the plot kind of ran away with itself #but I like how it turned out #I'm considering a part 2 #from Eddie's point of few in the weeks/ months that follow #depending on if people are interested #shoutout to #@theamazingbard #for the idea

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dulcesiabits · 7 days

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I'm a little too obsessed with SeekL and I've been thinking about it constantly, so here's an odxny character analysis, slight game analysis and a personal review ordered in a numbered list <3 Spoilers for the game, of course!

Design

Personally, I love odxny's design, and I think it's really cute how his mask changes to reflect his emotions. But to analyze it further, his mask is a representation of his guarded nature and his loneliness. At his core, odxny struggles with two conflicting desires: a desire to connect with others, and a desire to simply give up and save himself from the heart ache of failed connection by isolating himself. The mask lends anonymity, and this anonymity gives him both protection (from interacting with others) and restriction (prevents him from getting closer to anyone). Additionally, it represents how odxny uses his identity as a "hacker" as a form of protection from the rest of the world.

I think odxny's hoodie also reflects this! He has two layers to his outfit: a button-up shirt, and a hoodie on top. The hoodie is casual, and the button-up shirt hints at something more "serious", once again reflecting the duality of his desires and his personality (ie he's guarded, he has difficulty with connecting with others, the hoodie is a feigned casualness over a more serious loneliness). The button-up also is buttoned all the way up his neck, once again reflecting a closed-off nature.

Also, I don't have analytical thoughts on them, but the way the strings are tied is very cute! Super cute! The fact one hoodie string is a loop and the other is thrown carelessly over his shoulder makes me wonder if they're supposed to represent binary code (0 and 1)!

2. Names and Relationships

So, within the game's server, the nicknames of each character are randomized, and the resulting nicknames don't follow typical naming conventions. Additionally, odxny is never named within the game outside of his server nickname. I think this decision regarding names serves to illustrate the game's themes of isolation and connecting with others. The randomized nicknames strip an element of personalization in the server, while simultaneously providing anonymity.

Names are a signifier of our identity. This decision to take away the ability to name ourselves (as the player character) and for the other characters to name themselves serves to anonymize and depersonalize each character, which also furthers the isolation of each character. But this isolation seems to affect odxny most prominently, as he has the most hang-ups when it comes to loneliness (I will get into this part of his character in the next two sections).

Part of the choice with the naming conventions also reflects the general attitude and relationships of every character within the server. They aren't friends, even if they enjoy each other's company; there's a clear purpose to their relationships with a set end time (they will all go their separate ways once they fulfill their respective hacking goals). I would argue that while the other characters are okay with going their separate ways, it's this precise pattern of coming and going and non-lasting relationships that odxny is so tired of, and which drives him to physically isolate himself from society.

Additionally, before the player character arrives, each character implies they've never really revealed personal information about themselves to each other. The relationships between each character is cut and dry, and this further highlights odxny's isolation, even when he's with other people whose company he clearly enjoys. The difference between the other server member's and odxny's attitudes towards relationships serve as excellent foils to each other!

3. Lyrics

The theme song actually captures a lot of odxny's character beats, while providing great insight into him, which is really impressive! A lot of the lyrics point to the tension between his internal loneliness and his desire for connection— how he wants to "feel anything at all" and is trying to "Grind to find a way out of this hell / Used to be so confident but now I can’t tell." This is very telling of his desire to escape his circumstances through any means possible, but the particular way he chooses to do this is through hacking/his work with code. Odxny relies on hacking/coding to provide meaning for his life; it seems to be something he clings to because he no longer feels like he has anything else, which is why his apartment is so barren save for wires and electronic equipment. Perhaps he used to be more sure of himself/his goals, but the further he continues with his plans, the more conflicted he feels. Is this really what he wants to do? But if not, what other options are open to him?

Additionally, the lyrics also points to the distance he keeps from others on purpose, and a line of self-destructive thinking: "I'm stuck in a loop like lines of code/ Seeking a future that I don't even know/ Burn it down to face it alone.” He feels isolated and alone, and the only way he sees out of this cycle is just to leave everything behind. He's stuck running in circles, where nothing feels fulfilling; he can't even see a potential future, and the idea of "burning it all down" seems to hint at his desire to break out by essentially self-destructing and running away. But even then, he'll still "face it alone," so it's not a true solution to his predicament. Yet, this stanza ends with "still find myself reaching out for the phone." Despite the fact he’s decided on leaving everything behind and has given up interacting with other people, he still longs for genuine connection. At the same time, he knows the connection won’t last, which drives him further into his loneliness.

There's a dichotomy apparent in the last few stanzas: "They'll never know of me just that I've won/ That's how I operate and what I've done/ Thought you’d only know me for my voice / Never thought that leaving you would be the harder choice." In the first half, you have the confidence and purpose that hacking gives to odxny; yet, it can also be read as the way he interacts with relationships. He's fallen into a specific pattern with interacting with others, one that he doesn't believe can be changed. Yet, the second half of the stanza reveals how he's been shaken by the player character. Here's someone who he could share a genuine connection with, even though he never intended to be close to them.

Even the chorus (which is EXTREMELY catchy) reinforces this with a “I wish that I could give a damn/ Taking all your money like Uncle Sam/ I wish that I could give a fuck / I’m tryna balance out but feelin stuck.” It's a clear distillation of how odxny balances between the confident hacker facade and his genuine feelings of loneliness and feeling "stuck" and being unable to sort out his own feelings.

4. Character

The crux of Odxny's character is centered around connection and isolation. Robobarbie reveals as much in the dev log, where they mention they and the other writer, Allie, also drew on personal experiences to craft the character. So, I'd like to analyze a little more what I think this isolation entails. Odxny's isolation results from both circumstances both in person and online, both which feed into each other. A lot of his in-person circumstances captures the loneliness of being an adult, of drifting away from others and then the difficulty of finding new connections again. In fact, there's some articles online about the current loneliness epidemic within America, which odxny feels like a consequence of.

Making new connections is made both easier and more difficult in the digital age. It's a double-edged sword, because there are millions of people you can talk to online, and yet, this broad scope can increase the feelings of alienation. There are so many people out there, and yet you’re close to none. Technology exacerbates this sense of loneliness, and technology is also what both restricts and frees odxny. I would guess that a lot of the people he connects with is through coding/hacking (whether positive or negative), but it's a fleeting connection.

I’ve reiterated it throughout this analysis, but I will say it again here for emphasis: odxny has given up on connecting with other people. He tries to set himself apart from them and keeps a measured distance, yet connection is also something he desires above all else and the cause of his pain. This also ties into some of odxny's actions: a way to protect himself from vulnerability is by keeping his distance from others. After all, he can’t get hurt if he doesn’t let himself get close to others. And yet, this same the same distance also hurts him. In order to negotiate this contradiction, he has to try to convince himself this is what he really wants, that it's for the best, that all other choices are fruitless.

It’s why he only gives surface level protests against the player character’s involvement with his life; he genuinely wants someone to convince him otherwise. He wants to have a person in his life who cares about him enough to change his mind and to say that running away from society and isolating himself permanently isn't the right choice. What makes this work is that the player character is insistent, and isn't deterred by odxny's half-hearted attempts to distance himself. In a way, pushing back against the player allows odxny to reinforce to himself that this is someone who cares about him and wants him around, which in turn allows him to admit that he wants to connect with others, despite how painful it could end up being.

5. Personal Review

What I love this game is that there is a hint of a romance-- there is only one romance option, but there is no explicit confession, only hints of flirtation here and there. I love the focus is on the mini-game (which is genuinely super fun), and the interactions we get to experience with all the different characters. The dialogue is snappy, witty and real, and each character is distinct and given enough dimension that interacting with them feels like talking to people you would find in a server or a forum. The fact that they can be mean to you is great-- it feels realistic, and it's just something I personally love and find more interesting than if characters simply fawn over the player character all the time.

I love that it feels like a meeting of different people who aren’t sad to see each other leave-- they have a clear purpose in coming together, and there are no hard feelings at parting. It feels natural, and a bit bittersweet-- and part of this is how it feels like the server is a representation of odxny's unhealthy habits. When he's able to let go of the server, it feels like letting go of the past. Additionally, it's poignant because as someone who feels numb by all the partings he's had to experience, it's a sign of growth that he's willing to it let go and let things end without fear. He's able to be more open and vulnerable with the other server members by the end, and can admit he enjoyed their company, because he has some measure of hope in the future and faith in other people again. Regardless if he chooses to keep in contact with you, what's important is that he changes his mind about running away from it all in both good endings.

I love the subtle possibilities of the ending, as well: whatever path his relationship with the player character takes, what’s most important is that he’s receptive to opening up to others again. This is a story about love, but it’s a story about loving other people and connecting with them, about caring for strangers and caring about yourself. I, personally, find this more compelling than a straightforward romantic dynamic, because at the end of the day, this is odxny’s story about trying again to reach out to other people, no matter how hopeless and lonely things feel at the moment.

#liya chats #seekl #odxny #i have visions about this silly cs major so everyone else needs to perceive them as well. i need him OBLITERATED #great game tho!! enjoyed it a lot #love the way the revenge plots were used to drive the narrative forward #and how it gives us the opportunity to spend at least one day w each character #and i also love the ticking time bomb of the server being shut down #just lots of great craft moves overall #also the ui was so beautiful??? so sleek #also the music is AMAZING i love streaming it #i love the game's aesthetic too!! everyone on the team did an amazing job haha

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