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deatwithdignity · 11 months

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the other two has the best writing on television

#the other two #helene yorke #ken marino #brooke dubek #cary dubek #molly shannon #drew tarver #ben platt

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finleyforevermore · 4 months

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A collection of out of context quotes from Off-Book: The Improvised Musical Podcast because it is criminally underrated and more people need to know about it:

"Relax, you're at the lake-[WHEEZE]"

"My name's not Vanessa, it's Li'l Fossil!"

"Who do I gotta eat to be king of this town?"

"I'm an empath, but I'm not good at it."

"It's hard to be married to a guy that everyone respects."

"I'm going to smoke several packs of cigarettes!"

"Congratulations, you successfully stole that baby!"

"Everyone get your sweaters off."

"I was about to be inwardly sad, but outwardly brave."

"What do you mean "he's fine"? He's dead!"

"She's as stupid as that Sally Fields!"

"We're all gonna die soon."

"Buy a stupid little sack for your baby!"

"When you're looking at a microwave, that's not a microwave, it's basically dirt!"

"It's you!....say what you are!"

"When you were born, you came tumbling out."

"You can't just call upon a Ratatouille, like, a Ratatouille has to happen to you, you know?"

"Which war was it?"

"Tombathy, if I wanted a silver gear, I would have been born a poor person!"

"I don't know you anymore. I'm famous now."

"I gotta take a sip of liquid death-"

"But honestly, you know what might solve that?: patricide."

"How does a hot chocolate man have his own camera?"

"You can't stop the war that's about to begin!"

"My best friend is a 6 foot tall mouse!"

"I haven't heard you call me 'treasure' since 1992." "Yeah, that's probably when you started calling me John."

"Julia Roberts knows how to not upstage."

"Yeah, fuck you pigeon, I don't like you at all."

"Which came first? My dreams or these eggs?"

"No, it's because my father broke everything that started with K in the house one Christmas."

"No one's ever seen your face except for your wife? How did you grow up?" [....QUEUE SONG]

"I now pronunce this high school...dead."

"Stop that baby! She's headed to the stairs!

"You wanna know the story with Santa and his marriage?"

#off book podcast #off book the improvised musical podcast #zach reino #jess mckenna #zach and jess #paul f. tompkins #nicole parker #carl tart #off book the improvised musical #drew tarver #alice stanley jr #kelly marie tran #matt rogers #phillip labes #madeline walter #queued

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d-criss-news · 7 months

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rejectedjokes: Minneapolis. Last night’s show was so fun and unique. We had an absolute blast. Thank you to all 2100 of you. And of course, thank you to @ DarrenCriss.

#darren criss #ben schwartz #colton dunn #mary holland #drew tarver #ben schwartz & friends #tweets about darren #oct 2023

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pomegranate · 1 year

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