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x-male-gn-reader · 4 years

Text

The New Cancer

Hey, so this is the first writing I've done in a while sorry if its bad! Please lemme know if I should continue this! I'm sorry if anyone's OOC Please tell me!

This is an AU in which the trolls and humans all in together on a meteor, this includes dancestors, no one had died as well.

Kanrki walked out as he shut the door to his personal bedroom. His heels clicked as he walked to the (F/C) door that stood in the end of the hallway. Lifting his slim hand, he knocked with confidence as he waited to be allowed entry. '(Y/N) excuse me but, we are running around 3 minutes behind and the others have already arrived. I have informed them of our late departure.' The door then was opened. In the door was a rather decently dressed person. There hair was a (H/C) that stood perfectly that framed their rather captivating (E/C) eyes. The clothing of which they wore had shown their own personal color. Pulling the outfit together was a (F/C) beaded bracelet on their right wrist.

Shortly after, the two figures had left their shared home. The two walked a short distance to a small house, decorated in dark blue painted walls, with a dark violet roof. The front door was a stunning red, framed with rich green plants. Kankri held open the glass screen door as the door was flung open rather roughly. 'You guys are here! Finally, Dave they are here!' John had said as he moved to the side allowing you in. After you entered he held the glass door for Kankri before closing it. You three walked to the common room of the home. On the three seat couch was Jade and Rose. Jade was lied on two seats, playing with a small plant themed rubix cube. The dog-girls head rested on Rose's lap as Rose was reading a romance novel called 'Midnight'. Dave sat on a red bean bag chair in front of the couch. Next to Dave was a blue bean bag chair and a dark red one with a picture of a whistle on it. The last seat was the love seat. On the love seat sat a rather tall troll. He had broad shoulders and a rather soft body. He wore a black knitted sweater with a cancer symbol. They had messy short black hair, on top stood two small nubby horns. The trolls face was painted with a snarl as their eyes lifted up to yours. Their scarlet red eyes softened and their snarl broke into a much softer look.

'Earth to kitkat, well, Alternia to kitkat.' Dave said as he flicked the trolls leg. 'Agh! Dammit stupid Strider what do you want!' The troll shouted as he glared at the blond that had previously broken him out of his daze. 'Wassup kankels and my fellow (nickname)' Dave asked as he leaned back into this beanbag. 'Hello guys! Who is this?' You questioned as you walked over to sit in a beanbag, only to notice that they were taken. You decided to be brave and sit next to the new troll. Slowly sitting down you decide to start a conversation, as everyone else was talking. 'Hi! I'm (Y/N), you must be the troll Kankri told me about. Karkat is it?' You asked as he turned to you. Your eyes widened as you examined his face. Karkat's face was decorated in small red/gray freckles. 'Y-Yeah, So how have you been dealing with these bulgemonglers this entire time?' Karkat asked as he shifted slightly to face you. 'When you live in the same hallway as Righteous Tights, it seems everyone is a bit less hectic.' You said as Karkat's hand slaps onto his mouth, You start to chuckle as Karkat tries to keep in his laugh but can't as he lets out a roar of laughter. This catches everyones attention as they look over in confusion. 'I don't think I've ever seen Karkat laugh like that' 'Me neither.' Everyone slowly turned back to their conversations as Karkat calmed down. You looked into his eyes, a mischievous glint in your eyes. 'Oh jegus what is wrong with you?' Karkat asked as you lean over to his ear. Karkat's face grows a bit red but he lets you whisper to him. 'Do you wanna sneak out?' You asked before leaning back, so quick that when Kankri looks over he deems nothing is triggering so he continues talking to Rose. 'How the h3ll are we gonna do that?' Karkat huffs out. 'Watch." you respond as you stand up and take Karkat's hand. You begin to walk to the hallway where the bedrooms are, only to be stopped.

'You two are going where?' Kankri asked as he stood behind the both of you. 'Hey Kanks! I was taking Karkat to Dave's husktop setup! I wanna introduce Karkat to my friend but I left my husktop.' You said calmly as Karkat's face stiffened with masked hope as he prayed to gog their was no lecture. Kankri gave you an odd look, before his face melted into a warm smile. 'Ok then dear, but as a request please tell Porrim that the get together is going fantastic!' He said as he decended back to hi sbeanbag to talk about human romance compared to troll romance. 'Karkat let out a hefty sigh as he looked at you in disbelief 'How-' 'Don't question it' You interrupted as you quickly lead Karkat into Dave's room. Openeing the window you hopped outside, followed by Karkat. 'My gog I though we would suffer one of his infamous lectures.' Karkat sighed in relief as he walked your form wander off to the street next to the house.

He slowed as he watches how graceful you walked, how you glided across the ground in front of him. How stunning you looked to him. No no Karkat control yourself! You can't start to gain flushed feelings for someone you just met! Even if they are charming, and their skin looks so smooth, and their hair looked perfect for you to run your hands through. Karkat shook his head as he ran to catch up with you. Little did he know, you were suffering the same thoughts.

#homestuck #homestuck x reader #karkat #karkat vantas #homestuck karkat #karkat x reader #karkat vantas x reader #x reader #homestuck karkat x reader

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zebraslovescupcakestoo · 5 years

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A family day

I was walking back home from the library on one sunny June day. I've just finished reading a book two days ago and I've got another one that I've already read but I still enjoyed reading it.

Only this time it is now mine personally.

I was probably the only teenager at my age that still reads books and love reading more than the average person does. The librarian and the owner was probably one of my older friends that I had when I was alone on those times and I do help him sometimes with work. He's probably the only one who had more imaginations than anyone I knew and still be a down to earth kind of person. He gave it to me personally and that I can keep it cause I'm probably the only person who enjoyed it. Even if I declined, he's insisted that I keep it as my own.

I was so exited about my new book that I was reading on chapter two on my way home and into the pathway. I was going to show it to my my father and sister until I remembered that we had our relatives over for our annual summer family reunion. I was even more exited to show them as well.

Well... almost all of them.

I then got surprised by someone who dropped off from our tree and next to me. It was my cousin. “Hello, Felix.” Alex stand there proudly as if I was supposed to be impressed from his hiding skills. He does that recently...

However, I wasn't fazed and just politely said. “Good afternoon, Alex-!” He then snatched my book from my hands when I was about to read one of my favorite parts. “Alex, may I have my book please?” I said as I tried to reach for it again, but Alex wasn't letting that happened as he flipped over the pages while he held it from the side. “How can you read these? There's barely no pictures.”

I frowned and I had to tell him. “Well some people used their imaginations.” I don't remember how he became more of a jerk as we're growing up, but I don't remember doing anything to upset him.

He then closes it and waved it a bit. “Felix, It's about time you need to get your nose out of those old books and do what the other cool kids at our age are doing. How can you expect to fit in if you don't even act like them?” He then tosses my book on the grass carelessly. I tried to recovered it, but he then steps on it to prevent me to picking it up. “What ever happened to your soccer enthusiasts? Did you quit or is there nobody else who would want to play as usual?” He empathized on it as if I had nobody else in this city who's my friend.

“I didn't quit cause I felt like it, I just wanted to help Jade with my nephews. She and dad can't be home all the time so I decided to help them like a responsible kid at my age and yours.” He then 'tsked', flung my book along with his left foot and it flew pass me. I closed my eyes to prevent the dirt that got caught with it from getting in them. I spat a bit.

“Responsible. Responsible. Blah blah blah! No wonder the other kids were saying you're weird! Life is too short to be taking things too seriously and settle down too soon. I preferred to live freely and do whatever I want with no regrets AND be more... up to date. Being the 'good boy' is so old fashioned you know?” He sneered close to my face as if to mock me of my values... What is he so up against me personally to act this way?

He then was pulled away from someone who was much taller than him and someone who's not to be reckon with if I'm being bullied. My sister. She was wearing her beautiful emerald green summer dress along with light blue earrings for this occasion. She help him with one hand like she was holding dirty laundry.

“There you are, Alex. Auntie wants you to help them unpack your things before we have our barbecue picnic tonight.” She said.

“Hey! This ain't fair! I'm here on vacation! HE should be the one to help unpack things for us!” Alex pointed at me as if I was his 'servant' for being our guest.

“You know our rules, if you lived under our roof, you need to follow them or look for another place to sleep. Or would you rather I tell them about his violin that was 'misplaced' last Christmas?” She gave him 'that' look and he shuttered.

“Fine... I'll go.” He surrendered with his hands up. After he was put down, he went inside the house. My sister picked up my book as I got up and dust myself off. She handed my book over. “I heard and saw what happened. Are you alright? Should we tell them privately?” She said with a worried look. I knew she was just protecting me, but I don't want to give her and the others more trouble that I should. She alone had done more than enough for me...

“Yeah... I am. Thanks and... No, there's no need. He's probably just grumpy from the trip.” I forced a smile.

“Felix... I know you're lying. I told you I heard all of it and he was being just as mean as the other kids.” She crossed her arms.

“But... Don't you think I’m... odd?” I politely asked her about myself. It's true that I do other things that aren't common with the other kids, but I felt like I'm being... sticking out. “MY little brother? Odd? You let what he said get to you? I though we talked about this before.”

“I-I know! I know! I just... wanted to be normal. It's just a bit hard for me to fit in here sometimes, just because I preferred reading, playing violin and occasionally soccer over partying at a soda joint every weekend and football games.” I looked down at my book. She then made me look up to her and said. “You are great just the way you are! We don't care what others think about you and you are unique. They're just jealous about you being different and your niceness. A rare combination along with your cute cat looks!” She then messed up my hair a bit as if it was teasing me...

Then every thing turns bright...

----

I awoke from the bright sunlight as I realized that I was taking a cat nap on the lawn chair. That dream... it was ten years ago that happened... I realized that today was the exact same day for my family barbecue!

“Ah! Carp fish! How long did I slept?” I was supposed to be helping setting up the tables and chairs along with-

I then realized that all of those things I was supposed to do were almost done when I turn my head to the right. The tables was well placed, the chairs were just placed by the kids and Sheba, Kitty was placing some of the summer favors for the barbecue meal and then there was Sam, who he was just standing there with the grill and dressed as the BBQ king... baking the meats.

I was shocked and a bit upset, but I didn't let it show. What is wrong with me? I was supposed to be the responsible one!

So I spoke to them. “Guys! It was my job to set this up!” I got up and walked over to Sam who's grilling the meats. “You've done most of these things last night so that today we didn't need to do much. Not to mentioned that you've been a bit busy with work lately... We all decided to pitch in a bit, so go back to relaxing.” He said as he taken off the first set of patties.

“But I'm the one who said we'd have it and-”

“You've done more than enough. The prepping, finding these table and chairs, cleaning out some dishes a bit and you've been a bit stressed out lately due to work on top of it like Sam said.” Sheba crossed her arms while Kitty and the kids went back inside to get some other things.

“But... That's just normal. I just wanted to do these things again ever since well... dad passed away. I also wanted to give the kids some good times and new bonding memories. I don't want to be known as a 'strict' parent figure forever.” I knew I had to lay some rules on them, but I knew that they're still kids... They are taking after my sister after all.

“Ne t'inquiète pas, mon amie. I knew they're grateful to you more than you know, even if they never show it. Heck! I've seen that soccer practice one time where Inky was the goalie and Winky was there playing guard position or something next to him. Do you remember what the other kids, including the opposite team were doing?” Sam questioned me on that soccer practice one time he decided to come and see with me.

“They were all having fun and that they're all winners at the end of the day?” I said it with optimistic thoughts.

“Kids were going the wrong way or doing other things than actually playing the game!” He snapped. “You see what they were all doing! Some went off to see with their parents, some were just fighting each other with fists, some are picking up flowers and should I mentioned that your kids and coach Tony's minds would be at the time saying: What the h3ll is going on right now?” He may have exaggerated a bit, but I knew I would never allow them to say such language.

“I don't always agree with Toucan all the time, but he's right about one thing. Your kids are the only ones who can actually play the game correctly for now. Even Coach Tony wanted them, especially Winky, to be on one of his sports team once they're old enough to join.” Sheba backed him up on him claim.

I raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? But I didn't had much time to practice and most of it was just some of the things I used to do at their age.”

“Does your kids have ever read a bunch of boring books at that age too?” I then recognized that voice from that one mirrored person that came out of my home. Alex.

“Oh wow. Sir Lazy-bum has finally showed up once everything is done.” Sam sarcastically said as Alex came up to the three of us. “I had to make sure my hair is perfectly fine. Not everyone has dirty black hair like you, my dear cousin.” He said that just to piss me off, but his taunts are nothing compared to what I had to endure for others.

“Nobody asked for your opinion, old fart. Here's your next chore: Go to the nearby motel and wash. You smell like a urinal in a Portuguese cat house. You're not gonna attract anyone with male perfume that comes out of a bottle, ok?” Sam replied with a glare.

I bet that he's probably one of the only person who knew my 'real' cousin very well and that he's not that stupid to fall for his 'charms.' Truth is, I trust him more than my cousin does when I needed someone to look after the kids.

That comment aggravated Alex a bit.“So? Felix uses cologne too! I don't hear YOU saying anything about it!”

“That's because he doesn't uses half a bottle, enters an elevator full of people and smells like they've stood next to a f#cking pine tree! He just uses less and you can learn a thing about 'less is more' from him.” Sam's advice might have triggered Alex even more due to the fact his left eye is twitching a bit. “Or if you want you can do what European men's do and go natural. One time, a sophisticated guy was standing next to me, he smells like a pile of dog sh!t. I think THAT will suit you just fine.” Sam then smirked at that and Alex glared him with an unusual frown.

“Ha-ha-ha! I forgot how to laugh for a moment, king Dodo.” He mocked Sam due to the fact he's on grilling duty and usually, they're referred to BBQ kings but he refereed to his last nickname as a bird species.

“How original. In the name of the court of law, I shall knight thee!” Now THAT was unusual from Sam to compliment...

“He's plotting something, I can tell.” Sheba warned me with a whisper.

“Oh? Well do, your UN-gracefulness.” Alex then made a bowing gesture to play along. Sam raised his spatula a bit like he would handle a specter. “In the name of justice, I knight thee-” BONK!!

He smacked Alex's head with a decent amount of force to knock him face down. With a judge's mallet he had hidden from his apron and then hid it again from behind his back. “Arise! Sir Douche of Bag!”

“OW! WHAT THE-!!!” BONK!! Sam hit his head again before he gets the chance to look up. “Arise! Sir Stu of Pid!”

“Grr!-” BONK!! “Arise! Baron of bad news!”

“How did we ended up with him again?” Sheba asked me. “Coffee. We met at our usual coffee shop almost every day.” Asides from the fact that I met him on my fist solo case with the Six Busts of Anubis... in a coffee shop and so on.

Mean while, Sam and Alex's shenanigans continued. BONK!! “Arise! Sir Pent of Zoology!”

“This is stup-!” BONK!! “Arise! Sir Duke-of-Dunces!”

I tried to end this with words but to no avail. I knew Sam and Alex disliked each other like I am with Bendy.

BONK!! “ Arise! Prince-of-Stooges!” BONK!! “Sir bull of sh!t!” BONK!! “Master of none!"

“O.K! That's enough entitlements for now!" I held him back before he's gonna put him in a coma and I had to inform my relatives in Australia of this 'accident.' “Aw! I was about to entitle him as Sir Nincom of Poop."

"I'll tell him that later. Please put that away before you'll sentence him to death by the judge's own mallet." He shrugged it off as if he's like 'whatever' and I looked down at my cousin passed out with so many bumps on his head. I didn't see any blood... which is a good sign... to keep my tall friend from going in jail and had to move coffee time to jail talk time.

I'm not gonna lie, my cousin's 'job' is something to frown upon yet some people have a hard time seeing that. Because nobody knew the real tea with him and they'd fall for his looks...

I then heard a familiar voice coming from the house that I haven't heard from a long time in a loud tone. “Good afternoon, everyone! How's summer vacation is going with you two?” That's right! Woody McPecker! He's a reporter and is a vital member for our team.

But then... Just then, I 'sensed' someone else with a powerful aura that I never felt before yet... so similar?

I saw Kitty, Inky, Winky, Woody and then the last person I saw was a stranger.

This guy had black, medium, wavy/curly hair with a pony tail, pale skin, have an unusual mask that looks like it's a ribbon with eyes, but it does make him look mysterious. He wore some blue royal themed summer clothing like he's from a wealthy family. He smiled at our eye contact and waved.

“Ah, Félix. I forgot to mentioned this, but I thought that we might meet our newest member. This is Matteo DeLuca. He's gonna be the newest coroner for your department.” Sam introduced him.

“Huh? But I thought that he was gonna be our new school nurse!” Winky said with confusion.

“I am that too. Little gattino.” He patted Winky's head gently with his black gloves... Those look really cool, I admit...

“I will be working with your uncle and I will be helping the school on days that your regular nurse would be absent. I do hope that we would be close friends after this, Mr. Lockheart.” He extended his arm for a handshake.

He seems like a friendly person. “Um... Yeah. You can just call me Felix. No need to be formal with me.” Just when we made a pact, I then 'saw' from my vision an intimidating silhouette of an deity I would probably recognize better until we let go of our pact.

He then asked. “Are you alright?” I realized that I was a bit of a daze for a second there. “Yes! Yes I am! I'm probably still a bit drowsy from a quick cat nap a moment ago.”

“Bro, you DEFINATELY need an overdue relaxation from those detective work cases. Otherwise, we'll be having it in the asylum one of these days.” Sheba joked.

“Scusami, but may I asked if that gentlemen with many bumps on his head is still alive?” He pointed out Alex's unconscious state with his face down position. We've completely forgot he was still there.

“Unfortunately, he is.” Sam replied and I hushed him. Then Matteo went to Alex's position and bend his knees down when we heard his coming to his senses. He looks up to see Matteo smiling softly at him until he screamed in terror.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I haven't remembered the last time he jumped so high to one of the tallest branches up a tree.

“That's gotta be a new record! The title is yours, doctor!” Woody complimented.

“I doubt that I could never pull off something like that. Nice work, Matteo.” Sam smug a smile.

Me and the others were still confused in our own ways. Why did Alex freaked out when he saw this Matteo guy?

“W-w-w-w-w-w-what the heck is this guy doing here?! How?why?where?what?!” He was furious and panicked while he waved his pointing arm to him.

“Oh... It's no secret, Alexandre... Or is it 'Alex' this time? You really did think we would never meet again?” Matteo responded.

“Huh? Have you and Alex met before?” Kitty questioned curiously.

He turned and gave another soft smile. But I felt like he's putting a mask on what he really felt. “Actually, yes we did almost a year ago in Egypt. It was on my first trip after that awful war ended and we well... let's just say we get to know each other well enough.”

I 'sensed' some intimidation from him and fear from my cousin. Normally, my cousin would be far too confident to feel any fear, but this time it was different. Matteo was definitely was not lying... but somewhat concealed the truth.

Just who is this guy behind that smile?

Alex then got down and then said. “Welp! It was nice and all! But unfortunately, I have other 'business' to attend to. So!-” He turns to me, face to face. “I 'wished' you a 'pleasant' party with your 'wonderful' friends and I really 'loved' to know them more, but can't. I 'LOVE' to! But CAN'T!” He faked his smile and I detected more lies than his stash of stolen jewelries in one heist.

“Are you sure you don't wished to discuss our time in Egypt? I'm sure every-” Alex then cuts him off with a nervous but a calm demeanor. “It was just a boring exhibition and a stupid puzzle that only Felix would like to talk for hours and hours. Now we know the story. I'll be taking my leave now if you all excuse me.” He then took a hasty leave and we were all... awkward.

“Why did uncle Alex leave so early?” Inky asked. “Because he knew that later we would be all playing 'swat the thief!' and he's gonna be the thief.” Sam had showed a tennis racket with a smirk and half-joked about it.

“Sam! I do not promote unnecessary violence, especially in front of the kids.” I scolded him.

“You're right.” Sam agreed and then turned to the twins. “Like your uncle said: We do not use violence unless it's an emergency. That's why your uncle Sam was locking uncle Alex outside of the house whenever I look after you two.”

I should have known from my smart@$$ friend. He's just as cunning as Bendy and I can hardly handle him.

“At least the table is all set! Why don't we all eat before the burgers are gettin' cold?” Woody said and then the others all agreed on.

Before I joined in, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Matteo. “You are very fortunate to have such good friends. I do wished to be one too. I hope for us to be on good terms.” He said and left me in a bit of a confusion.

This guy seems friendly enough... I didn't sense any malicious motives from him nor he's the type to steal my girl like my cousin...

But I decided to let it go for now. I'm sure that my sister and my father would want me to take it easy for today. I did wanted to make new fond memories after all.

----Author’s note-----

It’s been a while since I’ve typed a fic.

So just to start, I’ve been inspired by that Beauty and the Beast scene with Gaston and the book thing. I also took the Bugs Bunny gag with “I shall knight the!”

I made a return on an OC that I didn’t use much since the Golden Eyes fanfic series. I was thinking that maybe I should remake this one and I also made a brand new OC which is Matteo DeLuca.

I will be making a whole new fanfic series with him as a co-star, but it’s gonna take some time so please don’t mark any thing on calendars or I will promise anything, but I will do my best.

Humanized Felix and the gang belongs to Marini4. OCs Sam Toucan, Woody Mcpecker and Matteo DeLuca belongs to me.

#Felix The Cat #felix #humanized #alex #sam toucan #fanfiction #OC #bendy before the ink machine #fanfic #fan fiction #Marini4.

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choriocytosicinquisitor-blog · 7 years

Text

-- eonianEmigrant [EE] began pestering isometricAstrourbanization [IA] --

EE: dude. i just realized that ur handle is like....hella long.

IA: 8r3aks th3 1c3 mor3 oft3n than not.

IA: ... S8)

IA: H3y.

EE: well shit i didn't know what i was sayin was so fuckin basic, lmao. gotta try to b more creative.

EE: whasup bro. i just remembered that talkin to pp on here is a thing i can do.

EE: like i can raise my socialization skill n also wear cheezy poof stained sweatpants 24/7. wut a tiem 2 be alive.

IA: To 83 fa1r, you could w3ar ch33sy poof-sta1n3d sw3atpants any of th3 day and soc1al1z3. 1f you'r3 not a fuck1ng noo8.

IA: H3ll, why 8oth3r go1ng that far? W3ar no pants l1k3 a r3al troll.

IA: 1 know 1'm not, aaay.

IA: So th3r3for3, 1'm as r3al as 1t g3ts.

EE: i mean. that's cool. if you want to free range it while we talk that's ok by me. i'm not gnna disparage ur lifestyle choices but i like to be a fab dressed dude and i can't be slippin up in the way ur suggestin.

EE: as the the only person pushin denim on denim fashion on skaia, i got a responsibility u kno.

EE: gotta edumacate the masses.

IA: 1 know what 1 must do now.

IA: Your t3rr18l3 r31gn of tyranny w1ll com3 to an 3nd on3 day... and 1 w1ll say you'r3 fuck1ng w3lcom3. 1t was m3, Aust1n. All along.

IA: D3n1m on d3n1m, jfc.

EE: it's fine if u don't understand. i don't expect ppl to understand right away.

EE: it takes time. B)

EE: altho since ur pantless ur already 1/3 of the way to full denim on denim.

EE: step 1. remove pantalones step 2. put on pantalones step 3. locate una jaqueta de mezclilla and put that on too

IA: N1c3 l3gs, da1sy duk3s mak3s a dud3 go woo-woo. Surpr1s3.

IA: Th1s was a s3gu3way to th3 1n3v1ta8l3 furry conv3rsat1on w3 w3r3 8ound to hav3. 1t's as 1n3scapa8l3 as d3ath and tax3s, 8roh.

IA: My t1m3 1s now.

EE: aight. i'm down to talk about furries. what about them.

EE: did u grow up in a horse infested hell hole like i did.

IA: Furr13s 1n da1sy duk3s. D1scuss.

EE: omg we have so much in common.

EE: ok let's talk about the concept of furries wearing skimpy clothing when they're already covered in FUR.

EE: ????????????????

EE: questions that have plagued me sine my youth, bro.

IA: Sh1t, you'r3 r1ght. L3av3 noth1ng to th3 1mag1nat1on.

EE: just when u think i've gone deep enuff i go even deeper. full forearm.

IA: W3 l1k3 to hav3 fun h3r3 on 3non1an3m1grant dot com.

EE: o bby u don't know the 1/2 of it yet.

IA: 1 know that 1 compl3t3ly lost my tra1n of thought. Mmmm.

EE: wut a shame now i'll never know what ur fursona's dick looks like.

EE: like exact dimensions down 2 every little ridge, knot and bump.

EE: btw if u rlly are a furry, pay me to draw that shit.

EE: i like to hustle around here.

EE: time is $$$.

IA: D1cks, dud3.

IA: Plural 83caus3 th3 only l1m1t 1s your 1mag1nat1on.

EE: back in my universe we only had 1 of those things and if you broke it that was tough luck.

EE: jk, i'm p sure dicks were in hot demand and supply was meetin it.

IA: 3h3h3h3. Sucks to 83 you.

EE: hahahhaha.

IA: 8)

EE: i guess u could say it's nut my lucky day.

IA: Amaaaz1ng graaac3... how sw33t th3 sound...

EE: o that made me think of nother topic.

EE: r u religious.

EE: haven't gotten a chance 2 ask anybody about that shit yet.

EE: this is a good a time as any to ask about god right.

EE: right after discussin dicks.

EE: god(s), u don't wanna assume it's singular i guess just like penises, or penii.

IA: A nuth3r top1c.

IA: Also r3gardl3ss of d1cks to worsh1p as gods, not r3ally no.

EE: dang i was rlly hopin it would be something crazy.

IA: 1'm sur3 you hav3 a th1ng to talk a8out 1t though.

IA: As th3y say 1n th3 land of 1nnu3ndos and dou8l3 3ntr3dr3. F1ll m3 1n, 8ro.

EE: as much as i would love 2 double stuff u with knowledge ;))).

EE: yeah i got nothin. i'm just curious i guess.

EE: i'm not religious it's just 1 of my 2,000 spare interests.

EE: lol.

EE: the only religion is know of is the shitty clown one. does that also exist here or nah.

IA: N1c3.

IA: Unfortunat3ly, an op1n1on on r3l1g1on just so happ3ns to 83 th3 on3 th1ng 1 fall short on. Just d3p3nds on who you'r3 talk1ng to, 1 gu3ss.

IA: Th3r3's always th3 Follow1ng of 81l1ous Sl1ck. 1t's a popular Prosp1t1an th1ng.

EE: i never heard of that. i won't bore u with it tho if it's not ur thing.

EE: u never did tell me what u were up to btw.

EE: despite bein semi nude somewhere???

IA: Hang1ng at my condo. Plac3 to stay wh3n 1'm not work1ng.

IA: F1rst rul3 of th3 hous3 1s, no pants.

EE: wtf tho if u got ur own place why u creep at the dorms.

EE: just 4 the pool?

IA: 3v3ryon3 asks m3 th1s 8ut 1t's 3as13r to fr3qu3nt a dorm than 1t 1s a hot3l dur1ng th3 work p3r1od.

EE: o aight.

EE: that makes sense.

EE: guess who else has a super important job now.

EE: u don't nee dto guess imma tell u.

EE: THIS GUY.

IA: Y3s.

IA: 3vadn3 was t3ll1ng m3.

EE: i'm workin 4 the gvnmt now.

EE: with a lady that has eight fuckin eyes.

EE: no joke.

EE: she can see all ur illegal hiphaps and now i'm her agent so watch out.

IA: Sounds l1k3 a 8last, dud3. Also t3ll N3va3h 1 sa1d sup.

EE: o u kno her?

IA: 3v3ryon3 knows h3r.

EE: >:/

EE: man here i was thinkin i was special.

IA: Ch1ll, dogg. You ar3.

EE: o dogg. bro...

IA: Th3r3's mor3 wh3r3 that cam3 from.

EE: //touches chest//

EE: i wsn't redy.

IA: Good th1ng 1'm g3ntl3.

EE: s-senpai...

EE: ://O

EE: t-taiyō o massugu watashi ni fakku

IA: G3t your w338ass 8ullsh1t out of my fac3.

IA: My pantsl3ss a8od3 1s sacr3d, can you r3sp3ct that pl3as3 and thank?

EE: watashi ni fuck u in the mouth.

EE: don't test me bro, i got like eight shitty swords with ur name on em.

IA: Mmmmm. 1 d3c1d3d 1 k1nd of l1k3 wh3r3 th1s 1s go1ng.

EE: i mean. i'm confused by u typing out "mmmmmm" like pennywise the clown but i'm glad ur havin a good time.

EE: that's all we're here 4.

EE: 2 have a good time.

IA: Sp3ak1ng of wh1ch... 1 got th1s comm num83r r1ght. 83caus3 1 hung out w1th a guy aft3r clu8 t1m3s and that's just what happ3ns.

EE: o it's story time now. ok i'm listenin.

EE: //shimmies up w/ popcorn//

EE: :o

IA: W3ll, s33. Noth1ng happ3n3d. 83caus3 1 d1dn't know 1t was on th3 ta8l3.

IA: And w3 had a n1c3 t1m3. Cut3 guy, d3af. L1k3s conv3n13nc3 stor3 food and fly1ng.

EE: das cool, das cool.

EE: i mean u got his digits so there's always next time right

IA: Y3ah, 1 gu3ss. Th3n 1 wond3r wh3th3r 1t's worth 1t.

IA: 8ut th3n 1f 1 hav3 to wond3r, th3n 1t's pro8a8ly not. L8r.

EE: idk i mean not necessarily.

EE: it depends on why u wonderin.

EE: me talkin like i got a fuckin atom of exp w/ this shit. but ignore that for now. haha.

IA: H3 cut3 8ut th3n 1'm just... gum wrapp3r and mag1c mark3r, 8ro. Factor all of th1s 1nto a pot3nt1al hook-up.

IA: 1 don't 3v3n know 1f th3 gum wrapp3r 1s h1s, lmao. May83 h3 found 1t on th3 ground.

IA: 1 m3an 1 gotta 83 at l3ast worth som3 k3tchup sta1n3d 8urr1to pap3r. Do you g3t what 1'm say1ng?

EE: mm yea i feel u. i mean mb he was just tryin 2 to be quirky? but who knos.

EE: i'd say if u got doubts ur probably right ,just don't do it.

EE: i wouldn't wanna be somebody's 2nd or 3rd choice even 4 a hook up.

EE: i wouldn't want them 2 be like "man if I GOTTA sleep with this guy i guess iw ill"

EE: u kno.

EE: that would suck.

IA: Y3s. 81t3s a l1l 1nto th3 3nthus1asm and not 1n th3 fun way.

IA: Anyway, g3n3rally "1t sucks" 1s a good way to summar1z3 1t up.

IA: Thanks, man.

EE: np dude.

EE: haha.

EE: nobody's ever asked me bout shit like that b4.

EE: i can live vicariously thru ur shenans.

IA: W31rd. K1nd of l1k3 w3'r3 8ros or som3th1ng.

IA: 8ro...

EE: n so it was written n so it shall b.

EE: they were bros from that moment on.

EE: jk, we were bros b4 that.

EE: time is relative actually so we were always bros and simaltaneously not bros.

EE: bro, i gots 2 bed. again.

IA: 1 was just your 8ro 1n wa1t1ng, my guy. Th3 for3v3r 8ro.

IA: Also y3ah, cool. R3st your fac3.

EE: aight. take care, man. B)

-- eonianEmigrant [EE] ceased pestering isometricAstrourbanization [IA] --

#venras logs #eonianemigrant #in which we like to have fun here at eonianemigrant dot com

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