Hello Angels! I did hint at this on my Twitter, but a few weeks ago I did a post called ‘Don’t Get Me Started’ and it went down well. I think I’ve found my comfort zone: I rant a lot, people find it funny, it gives me an excuse to rant more.

So, I went back to my group chat and asked for numbers: what I cut out were all the times that we had to re-pick numbers because I’d done them in the last post, which I will link here. Please ignore my time stamps; they were screenshot weeks apart, my battery doesn’t run down so quickly, don’t panic.

As with last time, I will add in other mini side rants if I can, and the aim of the game is to try and connect them all up into a comprehensive rant, which means I will have to get creative because NONE of these things link together. I will highlight the ‘Don’t get me started’ parts in bold, so you can join me in counting up the rants. The main things I have to rant about are

Terrible contestants on American Idol

Inflatable dancing tube men at car dealerships

13 Reasons Why

Hotel Rooms

Good lord, wish me luck. On with the ranting…

Don’t get me started on hotel rooms. Most hotel rooms I’ve been in are okay in all honesty; as long as there is a bed and a kettle, I’m fine, my necessities are covered, but there are some horror stories that honestly put me off: if the rooms aren’t cleaned properly or the beds are changed, you have no idea who you’re sharing a bed with, do you? If the sheets aren’t changed, do you know what could be on them? If you don’t, you’re not old enough to be reading this post, run while you can. Then there’s the fact that there may be hairs lying around in showers or baths and I DON’T KNOW THAT PERSON. There are nice hotels; I’ve seen the luxury ones and those look delightful, but I don’t want to spend all my money on a hotel and have nothing to spend on the actual holiday. Some of us gotta downgrade a little, and finding the right hotel is difficult; you can’t trust those websites; people might pay for reviews (don’t get me started on that, if you’re shit, accept you’re shit and fix it, don’t pay people to give positive reviews and try to build a bridge over your horrible hotel room, that’s not gonna fly, I smell your shit hotel room and your bullshit).

This was all made worse after watching Four in a Bed and don’t get me started on Four in a Bed: the name sounds awful and the people on it are usually also awful, it’s guilty pleasure TV. Like, a lot of the time, it’s posh competitive snobs fighting against posh competitive snobs, and trampling on the one couple that is just there for a good time. These snobs often lose because of tactical voting and because they found a spec of dust on the carpet and now they can’t stop sneezing, and then complain about activities planned when they also have activities planned, but make the other people sound childish. It’s a dust and hair obsessed train-wreck, and they rely on gimmicks. I’ve found, the more gimmicky the hotel and the more they try and drag you in, the more faults you’ll find with it (and it won’t just be dust, let me tell you). They spend so long trying to be unique and eye catching with advertising, they let the side down: just have a nice hotel and calm it with the neon lights and the overkill of gimmicks, just let me rest in a fluffy, clean bed, have a hair free bath and drink my tea, that’s all I’m asking of you.

On that note, don’t get me started on gimmicky people and things, like why? Unless you have already made it, then go wild, but don’t rely on them to grab attention. I’m all for standing out, I’m a big lover of not following the crowd, but come on people: you’re acting as pointless as the waving tube men outside of dealerships. Don’t get me started; what’s the real point in them? You could have an actual person stood there waving, like the people who spin boards to draw attention. I don’t know about all of you, but I’m more likely to go somewhere if they have gone to the effort of hiring somebody to flail and dance outside a place for hours; they’re supporting the unemployed (don’t get me started on the employment system: I need experience for the job, but I can’t get a job because I need experience? Bitch in what world? I’ve dealt with a psycho ex wife of Santa while I was dressed as an elf and kept the whole thing quiet, what more do you need?) But, I digress: the waving men are funny for five minutes, then they bore me and people forget about them, and then you see an identical moronic blow up tube man a mile away. Take on my idea of hiring people to attract people, or I don’t know, actually work to build a name for yourself? I know, it’s nuts, but sometimes you’ve gotta actually work for success: not everyone can be successful and famous for being stupid.

You know what this actually reminds me of? Reality TV: you have 5 minutes of fame and then you’re just seen as an idiot who was moronic on TV, and you lose your fame and go back to your job and your co workers take the piss out of you. The tube men are the reality TV stars of the blow up/ inflatable doll world, and their reality TV show is based in a car dealership. Don’t get me started on reality TV: it’s often people just losing all their dignity, unless they fit the bill and what is ‘in’ that year to a T. I’ll be honest, I used to love the X-Factor and American Idol, but it’s all so fake and dramatised I can’t fathom it now I’m older. I get it: we have some amazing musicians to come out of it, but at the same time, think of all the people turned away and made a fool of.

The X-Factor is bad, but don’t get me started on terrible American Idol contestants. As a stereotype, us British people are ranty (hey waddup hello) and are awkward (hi, I’m the stereotype British person, how you doin’?) but by the stereotype of Americans, they are out there and don’t give a fuck, and that’s great. But the American Idol contestants think they’re the bees knees and often they’re shit, and don’t realise it. Yes, it does happen in Britain too, look at cringey auditions on YouTube, but there’s something about Americans that make it look as if they think the judges and the public are wrong. You see a hint of shame in British, but in Americans, you don’t see any shame at all, and I admire them for that, you do you boo. Just you do you quietly and not on my TV screen. The TV shows on the whole though are just over dramatic when they don’t need to be.

Don’t get me started on things which are over dramatic. I’ll go this direction then: you read a book, and it’s stunningly written, the drama is done perfectly, you sob because it’s heart wrenching, but no details are gone into, making it more heartbreaking. For me, that’s 13 Reasons Why, and do not get me started on it. I loved the book to bits: it was stunningly written, and the fact that no massive details are gone into it (the passing mention of a funeral, the fact very few details were gone into about the suicide: all makes it worse for me personally) but the TV program? It was overly dramatic; the stroy was there, the acting got me, but my main issue? It didn’t stick to the books. There was no need to show the suicide; it’d have hurt me as much if they hadn’t shown it: just mentioned it in passing. It added a layer, sure, but it triggered so many people, and that wasn’t the aim: the aim was apparently to spread awareness at what bullying can lead up to, what staying silent and not speaking out on somebodies behalf can do, the fact that there are two sides to a story. But it got lost in drama and triggering moments. I will say it was acted amazingly, but it didn’t stick to the book. Don’t get me started on that, that’s a rant for another time (hint: start following the books more, they got popular because people like the characters and story).

  This was a difficult one. The topics were so different, I’m well aware I was reaching at times, but you try connecting all of these things together and ranting about them, it was bloody hard to do.

Do you want this to be a weekly thing? Like, an end of week rant about random topics people pick for me? I’d be down to do that, but would you wanna read it? Let me know!

  Stay safe and stay happy, Angels ❤

  Don’t Get Me Started: Part 2 Hello Angels! I did hint at this on my Twitter, but a few weeks ago I did a post called 'Don't Get Me Started' and it went down well.

Hello Angels! I have a few more serious or emotional posts lined up, so I thought I’d do a little filler before they get posted. I’ve seen a game called Don’t Get Me Started: you get given a topic, and you have to rant about it. For me, I have upped the anti, and I wanna see how many topics I can rant about just going from the first topic I was given.

The 4 topics I have to include at some point are:

Salt water taffy

Rant about Yogi Bear

Rant about online purchases that don’t look like the pictures

Rant about phone booths

So, shou tout to whoever came up with this; you are a genius, and this has let me vent a lot out and I made myself laugh, even if nobody else finds me funny.

To help, every time I move onto a new topic or have a mini sidenote rant, I’ll put ‘don’t get me started‘ it in bold, and hopefully it’ll flow and link together. I have faith in myself for once; I’m a champion complainer and ranter.

DISCLAIMER: I will swear a lot, it’s part and parcel of me ranting, I am a very sweary person if you meet me personally.

Don’t get me started on salt water taffy: first of all, what the fuck is that shit? Before writing this and ranting about it, I had to go research it, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m British or what but I had never heard of it. Like, why the fuck would you mix saltwater and sweet stuff? Then I find out that it’s not even got saltwater in it? What is it called saltwater taffy then? What if I wanted to be at one with the ocean like a mermaid with a sweet tooth, like what the fuck America? You’re building my hopes up here for shit. It’s like with doughnut holes, the whole thing seems fucking pointless.

Don’t get me started on doughnut holes. The hole of a doughnut is invisible, that’s the point of a hole: there is nothing there. If it has a hole, it’s not whole (do not get me started on the English language, how the hell people learn it I’ll never bloody know, Go bless everyone who can speak it fluently when it’s not their first language). So, why is it called a doughnut hole? They have no holes in them at all, so it’s just a bloody doughnut. If they had holes in, they’d be a ring doughnut, and this is a fact widely accepted, so why are you calling them a doughnut hole? Why not a ‘mini doughnut’ or some shit? Are people buying these boxes expecting them to be just air, because if I saw something labeled ‘doughnut holes’ I’d be wondering which poor bastard was going to be stupid enough to buy air. It’s an American thing mostly (again, like with salt water taffy, which is a terrible idea in all honesty), and they’ll have that but you know what they don’t have properly? Kettles.

Don’t get me started on the fact a lot of American’s don’t have kettles. Like, besides for making tea, there are many purposes to having a kettle. It makes boiling water hell of a lo quicker, for example, pasta: you boil the kettle, pour it on your pasta and you’re half way there for it being ready. For a pot noodle: it’s necessary to have a kettle if you want a pot noodle, it’s on the instructions as one of the main requirements. I don’t see how any kitchen area is complete without a kettle. Fuck coffee makers, they don’t help you when you want a cup of tea, or a pot noodle. But I know tea isn’t a problem.

It’s going to sound like I’m coming after America here, but I’m British, so this is a major issue for me. DON’T GET ME STARTED ON HOW YOU MAKE YOUR TEA. You buy it in a giant container and heat it up in the microwave. How the fuck is that a good way of making tea? What if you like tea a different strength? You have to put so much more milk in to make it weaker, and by that point, you have about 5 minutes before your tea is cold and you have to drink it like a lukewarm shot. And do you heat up milk separately? Do you have to heat up the milk and the tea ( if you do, don’t get me started on warm milk: to me, it 100% smells like baby sick and I don’t fuck with it)? Do you make the tea and put it in the cup then put it in the microwave? If so, how are you alive, microwave tea tastes like utter crap. There’s a process to making tea which is quite soothing: getting the right mug, fishing teabags off high shelves (do not get me started on the problems of having tall family members, I’m only short, I cannot reach on top of high cupboards without spatulas and tea bags falling on my head), waiting for the kettle to boil and thinking about life, waiting for the tea to brew and putting the right amount of milk in: here’s an art to it. It’s honestly like a knock off of tea: like when people copy clothes but they’re in no way as good- like the shops on ebay where you can get dresses for about £2 and they come and in fact, it looks like a blind monkey sewed it together.

Do not get me started on online shopping. We all know I used to advertise for some online shops, and I tried to make the best of it, but it was horrendous. Clothes didn’t fit, they looked like they wouldn’t fit children, hey were bad quality: it’s a horrible time. I don’t see the point in lying; I’d prefer to spend more and know I was getting something for good quality and it was actually what I picked out to something shitty that people have tried to recreate. If that person hadn’t bought the shitty copy, they might have been able to afford the real thing and not be bitter and ranting. You see, companies who do that shit turn people into me, and who the hell wants to be me? But, I’ll be kind and say that a lot of companies do it. It’s not just clothing companies, it can be TV companies and shit too. Like, the Hairbear Bunch and Yogi Bear: one is a shitty copy, and from the fact I had no idea who the Hairbear Bunch were until I asked my dad, I think we know who copied who.

That being said, don’t get me started on Yogi Bear. We all know Boo Boo was the real star of the show, if you disagree, turn on your location and you can fight me, that is the number one sidekick of all time, fuck Robin, Boo Boo is more useful. I’ll be honest, I don’t care about the bloody picnic baskets. I don’t care about Yogi and his problematic wife or girlfriend or whoever she was (don’t get me started on unnecessary romance, it can fuck up a whole TV program, and while I can say Yogi Bear is still a classic and it didn’t taint it too badly, why is it a thing? Let romance happen naturally, don’t force it). Why is it necessary for a cartoon bear to have a romantic interest? It’s a kids cartoon, just let him get into trouble with his adorable sidekick and leave the romance behind, it’s not necessary to the plot. Though, when you think about it properly, Yogi Bear is a bit of a little shit: he’s stealing peoples picnic baskets (he may be the original problematic fave). If he wanted a picnic basket so badly, why not phone someone to bring him one, like his love interest? They’re on a park range, there’s gotta be a phone box around there somewhere.

But honestly, I can’t blame him, because don’t get me started on phone boxes. First of all, they’re a breeding ground for germs. You know how many people touch those things a day? Like, you have no idea where peoples hands have been, who actually washes their hands, and what is on that phone. Then there’s the fact that they need a ridiculous amount of change to actually work. If I desperately need to phone somebody and I don’t have my phone or somebody with me who has a phone, I can bet I will have no change to operate a phone. It’s not as if you can even phone emergency services without money to put in it, and your call could cut off half way through. They’re pretty impractical to have in this day and age in all honesty, I see very little point in them, they’re a waste of space.

So… fuck salt water taffy.

  Stay safe and stay happy, Angels ❤

Don’t Get Me Started Game/Challenge #1 Hello Angels! I have a few more serious or emotional posts lined up, so I thought I'd do a little filler before they get posted.