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ineedglasses · 4 years

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VK Character Analysis: Shizuka Hiou

Once in high school, an old friend who also read VK asked me who my favorite character was, and when I said Shizuka, she was shocked. Now her favorite was Zero, and she thought I hated Zero since I liked Shizuka, his enemy.

That is not true, I don’t hate Zero. For some reason, some Zero fans seem to think anyone that likes Shizuka hates Zero. There is NO correlation between liking Shizuka and hating Zero. Some people love them both, while some people hate them both.

Anyway, my friend seemed appalled when I told her my fav character and she asked me why. At that age I wasn’t the most articulate or the most patient, so I simply told her, “just because.” So, now that I have free time and because her question had bothered me for a while, I decided I should write down my thoughts on why I love Shizuka.

XXX

First of all, Shizuka was NOT actually insane.

Medically speaking, “insanity” is associated with conditions like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. There is no indication in the manga or anime that she exhibited any signs or symptoms of those diseases, such as hallucinations or delusions.

The regular definition of insane is to exhibit a severely disordered state of mind or to be affected with mental illness. Even by this definition, Shizuka was not insane.

She was aware of her actions and of what is right and what is wrong. The only time she can be considered “insane” is right after her lover was killed, when she was so overcome by grief and anger she could not think straight and focused on revenge without stopping to think who the real enemy was (cough, Rido). And in that state of severe emotional turmoil she went after the Kiryuus. But I do not think that can be considered true insanity, because it was a onetime occurrence.

Shizuka knows that she was wrong to kill the Kiryuus, because they were simply following orders and doing their job, and also because the real mastermind behind her lover’s death was Rido. She even acknowledges that her actions in regard to the Kiryuu parents and Zero were “sinful”, whereas a truly crazy person probably is unable or unwilling to admit that. If anyone were actually insane in VK, it would probably be Rido.

XXX

Secondly, she did NOT attack the Kiryuus out of a random whim or desire to do evil things.

All readers should already know this, since Hino explicitly states that Shizuka was motivated by revenge. Shizuka ONLY went after the Kiryuus because they wronged her first.

They killed her ex-human, the only person she ever loved. Hunters are only supposed to kill crazed level E’s and vampires that have harmed humans, but her lover was none of that. He should not have been killed by those standards.

But the Kiryuus were simply following orders without question, and killed someone they shouldn’t have, and thus they were killed in return.

For hunters, being killed by vampires seeking revenge is not a shocking end. Even Zero’s mom mentioned that, when they were packing, saying they should move soon so vampires do not find out where they lived. People who kill tend to get killed too, that’s just the reality of that sort of life. Zero’s parents were not normal, innocent civilians, they were people that killed vampires for a living. Thus, I don’t think Shizuka killing them is so shocking and unforgivable. I can understand why she attacked the Kiryuus, although it is still wrong (because hate breeds more hate, and the idea of an eye for an eye is not good).

What was truly unforgivable was that Shizuka turned Zero into a vampire, to hurt his parents as much as she can. This is where she went too far in her vengeance because children are innocent, it was only the parents that should be punished. And yes, I acknowledge that these actions are bad, even if I am her fan, I am not blind to her flaws.

Anyway, Shizuka would never have bothered crossing paths with the Kiryuus if they had never killed her lover.

XXX

Thirdly, although she was an antagonist in the story, she had her own moral code. She was not evil, and rather more of a neutral grey, and I appreciate characters like that.

She wasn’t like Rido, who used even his own son as a tool, and who did not care for anyone. Shizuka cared for Ichiru, despite the fact that he was her enemy’s son. She felt a sort of kinship with him because they were both alone and had nowhere to go. She gave him her own blood and flesh and refused to turn him the whole time they were together, even when she was dying, because she knew he would have been in more danger if he was a vampire instead.

Ichiru understood that she genuinely cared for him, because even when he was dying, he asked Zero to not hate her, even if Zero can’t forgive her.

Shizuka also kept her promise to Maria and gave the sickly girl her blood to make her better (in comparison, Rido just took over Senri’s body without asking for permission or giving him anything in return).

And thus Shizuka is a sympathetic villain, and Hino points that out in the interlude chapter where Ichiru comments how Shizuka was “beautiful even as she was dying”, in contrast to Rido, who Kaname once referred to as “the dregs of an ugly obsession.”

Even Kaname felt sympathy for her, because when he killed her, he didn’t just let her drop to the floor but caught her and laid her down carefully on the floor. He also assured her that he would not let her life be wasted, and that he would definitely end Rido.

XXX

And finally, she was a very tragic character, a victim of circumstances herself.

(This is her history, taken straight from her character profile in the official fan guide)

Shizuka was locked up in a cage as soon as she was born, because apparently some members of the Hio clan had also gone berserk before.

(On a side note, I doubt the Hious had a genetic defect leading to mental illness, it was probably a circumstantial thing, like how Rido most likely started off sane but life took directions that pushed him off the edge towards the end. After all, they are purebloods and their genes are supposed to be flawless. And Rido…I have so many thoughts about that dude, but I will save them for another post.)

Hino never stated how old Shizuka was, but since we know that Rido, Haruka, and Juri are “over 3000” according to the guidebook, she is probably around that age. If we treat the Fleeting Dreams novel as canon, then Shizuka is probably even younger than Juri, because Rido mentions that Shizuka was still “a tiny child” when his parents kept Juri away from him and engaged him to Shizuka instead. So, I assume that Shizuka spent almost 3000 years, her whole life, locked up in a cage with barely any company, except maybe the occasional visitor (like how child Kaname visited her once).

3000 years is a long, long time. To put it into perspective, the USA as a country is roughly 250 years old. So she was locked in a cage, all by herself for the timespan it would take 12 USAs to rise and fall. It is really a wonder how she did not actually go crazy and end up more damaged than she was!

Besides the tragedy of having her freedom taken away, no one loved or cared about her, something mentioned by both Maria and the guidebook. Shizuka herself commented that she was envious of Yuki, who had been cherished, unlike her.

(A bit of a tangent, but I am quite curious what happened to Shizuka’s parents. Why did they just let her be locked up? It is very irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you aren’t going to bother taking care of it. And it seemed she had family members because Kaname later on killed the head of the Hio clan. IDK what her familial relationship with that particular Hio man was, but she seemed to have been neglected by her own clan.)

Anyway, everyone probably treated her warily, like a bomb that might explode at any time. She was basically an outcast. Take for example how Aidou says it is unlucky to even mention her.

If there was someone besides her dead lover, Ichiru, and Maria, who did not treat her with suspicion or fear, it was probably Rido, and he certainly did not treat her well either. Ichiru mentions that Rido was the one who imprisoned her and changed the hunter list. Based on that, I assume Rido directly ordered her locked up, or used his influence with the Senate to have them lock her up. Either way, the dude had something to do with it.

Besides locking her up, Rido most likely treated her poorly, him being the way he is. His main issue with her is that she refused to become obedient like Senri’s mom. And IDK about the rest of you, but whenever a man says he wants to make a woman “obedient”, I get bad vibes. He probably did some shady and questionable things in his attempts to make her docile.

If Shizuka had been engaged to someone else other than Rido, someone more normal, like Isaya, her life would probably have been more bearable. Although Rido did not want her because he was unhealthily obsessed with Juri, he had to ruin Shizuka’s life and happiness instead of just letting her be. He did that out of some petty reasoning, basically “If I can’t be happy, you can’t be happy either”. His decision to put her lover on the execution list led to many tragedies.

This man is really the root of all evil in VK, LOL.

XXX

Finally, after all those centuries of loneliness, Shizuka met someone who treated her well, for the first time. Thus, her attachment to her ex-human lover was extremely strong, and it made sense why she could not move on, why she was so consumed by revenge. Unlike normal people who can find solace being comforted by friends and family, she doesn’t have that kind of support. And furthermore, she is a pureblood, all of whom have been shown to form extremely strong attachments to the ones they love, and have trouble moving on.

And regarding her lover, we can’t even be sure if he loved her back. Shizuka said that he most likely never forgave her until the end for turning him, and that he never yielded to her, but went with her when she proposed running away together because remaining with her was his only option. Honestly, her lover didn’t seem too happy being with her, or if he did care for her, their relationship was still strained and angsty, not the simple, lovey-dovey relationship Haruka and Juri had.

Overall, her romance was ill-fated, they simply would have never worked out because they were supposed to be predator and prey. I have a feeling that even if the Kiryuus hadn’t been assigned to kill him, she and her ex-human would not have had a happy ending regardless.

Anyway, after Shizuka lost him, she also lost her will to live. She only hung on to life out of the desire to kill Rido, but she wasn’t even seriously trying. Her biggest desire was to die, and we can see that in how she didn’t bother resisting when Kaname killed her. When she laid on the floor dying, she looked the most peaceful she had ever been. Later on, Maria (mistakenly thinking it was Zero who killed her) also commented that Shizuka probably wanted Zero to kill her. Sara also said Shizuka lost her will to live and mentioned how she doesn’t want to become like her.

Finally, Shizuka was definitely tragic, because even Kaname who killed her pitied her, commenting: “It’s sad isn’t it? I wonder if anyone truly understood her.”

I love this character partly because I feel so bad for her. While Zero suffered early on, he eventually got to marry the girl he loved and had a daughter with her. Kaname also got to be with Yuki, had a daughter with her and got to meet both daughters and experience being with family when he was revived. But Shizuka…her whole life was a tragedy, and the only time she was happy was that brief period when she was with her lover. However, the time she spend with him was a tiny drop, almost nothing compared to how long her life was overall.

A lot of characters in VK had sadness in their lives, but her life struck me as the worst. If I had to pick someone to be in VK, it would definitely not be her.

IMO, her life was screwed the moment she got engaged to Rido. Even though she wasn’t crazy, she was still locked up and treated like she was. Her circumstances/fate pushed her to make the choices she did and end up a villain. If fate had been kinder to her, she would not have become a villain at all.

Other reasons I love her are because of how beautiful and elegant she is, how she has an air of mystery and sadness, and how her story just interested me the most.

And I get that other people still hate/dislike her regardless of everything I mentioned, and that is alright. This is not meant to convince people to like her, but to explain why I personally love her. So don’t come at me trying to tell me why she is evil and I should be ashamed for liking her okay? (ง'̀-'́)ง

So! If you ever read this long post, Hazel, now you know why she is my favorite character.ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

#Vampire Knight #Shizuka Hio #shizuka hiou #zero kiryu #Kaname Kuran #Rido Kuran

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nike-shawn · 4 years

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Vampire Shawn Prt. 3

You approach the house, a foreboding, Victorian-style mansion at the end of the street, backing up to a large expanse of dense woods. Shawn is slightly ahead of you, though he looks back every so often to make sure you’re keeping up with his long strides. He has that familiar smile each time your gazes meet. You start to wonder if that toothy grin is hiding something much more sinister.

“Just remember when you go in that they’re not gonna hurt you,” Shawn says, not quite meeting your eyes. “If you feel uncomfortable just let me know, but Nathaniel should have it under control.”

“What will they do?” you ask, trying not to sound as apprehensive as you are.

“Just crowd around you, try and uh— you know, see if you’ll...” Shawn struggles to find the right word. “I don’t know, Y/N. I probably shouldn’t have said anything. There’s nothing to worry about.”

But as you two come up on the stairs to the house, you can feel the anxiety and tension between you and Shawn as he waits by the front door. His smile is absent as he twists the knob.

Immediately, a smell of dying roses overwhelms you. You follow Shawn into the dark foyer and your eyes dart around nervously, waiting for these new vampires that are supposedly going to jump out at you. But no such thing happens. Instead Shawn lightly grabs your hand to lead you through the house as you marvel at the beautiful wood carvings over each doorway and on the stairway railings. Charm oozes from every corner of this house and you wonder if intricacy is something you gain when you live forever— when there’s no need to rush, there’s really no limit on what you could create.

Shawn comes upon the living room and asks you to sit for “just a second: he will be by soon I’m sure.” He sits next to you closely, almost protectively. His eyes are darting around like those of a caged bird. You feel your own anxiety peak as you sense his rising uneasiness.

Then, footsteps. A slender, pale man emerges from the kitchen, a sickly grin on his sunken face. This is what you picture when you think of a vampire. Not Shawn’s tanned, healthy glow— no, this decrepit, scary stereotype of a blood sucker is exactly what you imagine.

You’re suddenly very grateful for Shawn’s closeness.

“Congratulations!” The man, Nathaniel, you presume, bellows. His voice carries through the empty house. “What a joyous day, yes? And you’re so young too, Shawn. So very lucky.” He clasps Shawn’s hand in two of his own. Before releasing his grip, he turns to you. His lips are so red. You try not to think about what he was feeding from that would make his lips such a deep color. “Gorgeous, yes?” He says, addressing Shawn but dragging his eyes up and down your body. Repeats, “so very lucky.”

You practically whimper out a “hello” as he comes forward and wraps an arm around your shoulder. He is just about Shawn’s height, but the chill from his body is enough to make you feel like you’re six feet under him. You’re simply a worm under his shoe. He asks for your name and you tell him.

Shawn must be able to sense your discomfort, because he steps forward and tugs you out from Nathaniel’s arm with a simple grip on your wrist. He then allows your fingers to wrap around his. If you weren’t so scared, you may have freaked out a little.

“We just need pointers on how to be good partners,” Shawn starts. “You said that you had some things to go over with us?”

Nathaniel looks distracted and... hungry? But he replies with, “yes I was hoping to speak to Y/N specifically. Living forever is quite the adjustment. And all while being a human? Dealing with the day to day of the human life?” He looks at you with some kind of pity. “Also, the idea of being a walking pincushion could be slightly troubling to some, so I like to introduce the concept in a more... comforting way.”

Your heart rate picks up and you feel slightly weak in the knees. You alone with Nathaniel? And what does he mean by a walking pincushion? Shawn wouldn’t drink from you for his whole life, right? You look pleadingly at your new mate, trying to say don’t let me go with him.

“Nathaniel, cut it out. You’re scaring her. She’s not a walking pincushion by any means and you know that,” Shawn says briskly. It does little to calm your fears.

“She has to know what she’s getting into.”

“Not by being your personal blood bag.” Shawn squeezes your arm and starts to walk the both of you towards the door.

Nathaniel is in front of you quicker than you can blink. “If you leave before I can get a taste, kiss your privileges here goodbye.” His eyes narrow. “You will have a whole host of new enemies.”

“You know that’s fucking wrong!” Shawn explodes. You cower towards the front door, hand on the knob, poised for a quick escape. Judging by how quickly these two are moving, though, you doubt you’d stand much of a chance. “You’d be killed and put before the judge—”

“No judgement if no one knows,” Nathaniel shrugs. “And no one will know. I will bite her, as I do all new mates, and your life will continue on unchanged. If you leave and I haven’t done so, you’re an outcast. You’ll be alone for the rest of days.”

You don’t realize you’re crying until you put your hand to your mouth and feel wetness there. You’re extremely, extremely overwhelmed. You only just now found out that vampires even exist, and now you’re immortal and some creepy guy wants to bite you? And Shawn is refusing... because why? You can’t possibly mean anything to him at this stage. You wipe at your eyes and muffle a sob into your sleeve.

“Fuck off, Nathaniel. You’re sick.”

Shawn almost shields you as he comes up to the door, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and shuffling you onto the front porch. He’s moving so impossibly fast— somehow you’re running and he’s walking but he’s moving at the pace of a sprinter. You’re to his car before you can blink and the car is started and reversing within seconds.

He has a lot, a lot of explaining to do.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Shawn has let you have your space.

You’ve been cuddled up in your bed with the covers pulled over your head for a few hours now, not quite sleeping but not quite awake either. You can hear him puttering around in your kitchen— you’re still unsure as to whether he eats real food or not, but either way he’s making something for you. Pots and pans keep clanging and you hear the click of the gas stove coming to light.

He did his best to keep you calm on the drive home. He explained that, yes, mates are supposed to be a blood supply for their vampire counterparts, but it’s very different from being a human blood-drive. It’s a bonding-experience, apparently. You wanted to roll your eyes when he said that. As if sucking someone’s blood could be a powerful relationship exercise.

He also noted that Nathaniel had been perfectly fine before today. Shawn had even seen other people bring him their mates, though he admitted that usually the vampire they were paired with left without them, only to return an hour or so later. He had never seen an issue with it because he trusted Nathaniel enough to never question the process. But now it makes sense.

You’re still shaken up. You just can’t believe that you’re living in the real world while vampires traipse around you, fucking up your perfectly mundane life.

And there was one thing that had been bugging you since the very first night you met him. And as he peeks through his bedroom door, his curls unruly and wild around his face, you decide that you should get up because, yes, you were starving, but also because you’d like the time to talk to him about that thought that keeps poking you whenever you get comfortable with him.

He sets a plate of pasta down at the table in front of you, compete with a cute patterned napkin and silverware that is perfectly lined up on either side of your plate. He smells good as he dips down to place everything down. Whereas Nathaniel’s house smelled of dying roses, Shawn is a freshly bloomed field of peonies.

Your (boyfriend?) mate sits across from you. He’s sad, you think, because he doesn’t have his beautiful smile and his eyes have a sunken, reddened look about them. There’s no plate in front of him, so he just watches you as you pick at the meal. It smells delicious, but for some reason your appetite completely left you once you saw his face. Seeing him like this makes you feel just as bad.

But you have to power through. If you don’t ask this question, you will never be able to get completely comfortable with this man who you’re supposed to be the most comfortable with, supposed to be able to ask anything to, tell anything to. So you sit back in your chair and lay your hands in your lap, faking composure. “Shawn?” You start. He raises his head to look directly into your eyes. “I have had this question. It’s been bothering me for a while now and I just wanna get it off my chest.” He doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “That first night we met, when Freddie left with that girl, was she really your friend?”

“No.”

You nod, appreciating his straightforwardness. “Okay. So you just kind of... saw that I was vulnerable? And that’s when you swooped in?”

“Yes.”

“Right. And on our walk home, when you stopped at those woods for a second, did you ever actually hear a dying animal? Or was it... were you trying to get me to go back there with you? To bite me?”

Shawn pauses here, dropping his gaze to the table as his fingers pull at dead skin on his lip. Your stomach turns. “I’m being completely honest here, yes?” You nod. “I picked you out of the crowd because Freddie left you and I noticed that you were alone. You’re gorgeous: I was hungry. So I asked you to leave with me. Then on the way back, I just felt something was different about you? I don’t know. I liked you a lot. So I tried to get us to go into the woods so I could bite you and blame it on whatever I had heard back there. Would be easier that way then how I did it— finding your apartment, making sure you left with my flannel, convincing you that you passed out. There’s always some memory retention after a bite so I just... I didn’t want you to think I did anything sinister. I wanted us to continue on as friends.”

“Is a vampire bite not sinister?”

“Not how I do it, Y/N, you know that. I only bite to survive. I don’t just go around biting people for the hell of it.”

“I just wish that it wasn’t me.”

Shawn looks like a kicked puppy as he shakes his head and droops back into his seat. You immediately feel bad about what you said, but you don’t backtrack. It’s true— you wish Shawn found someone else to bite, someone else to spend his life with. Your whole worldview is completely warped, now. All because stupid fucking Freddie left you at some gross frat’s Halloween party.

“Y/N...” he starts, but then his mouth closes and he rubs both hands over his face in exhaustion.

“I’m not trying to take this out on you. I’m just so scared and overwhelmed. I barely even know you, and I’m expected to just be fine with spending my whole life with you? I wanted to get married and have children—”

“We can still get married!” Shawn exclaims, uncharacteristically loud and frustrated. “We can still have kids, Y/N. I’m sorry you feel like it wasn’t supposed to be you in this spot, but it is. And if I hadn’t found you at that party, we would’ve met sometime later. Either way, no matter what you or I did, we would end up together because that’s just how it works. I’m sorry. But we’re stuck together. And I know that sounds bad to you but...” he sighs. “But it has always sounded pretty good to me.”

You feel tears gather in your lashline and your vision starts to blur. “I’m sorry, Shawn. I just need more time to figure this out.”

“I understand. I just never want you to think that I’m somehow forcing you to be in this spot.”

“Are you not?”

“No!” Shawn yells again. “No, I’m not! I was forced into being a vampire. I didn’t choose that. I was forced to have a mate. I didn’t choose that. You happened to be my mate— again, didn’t choose that.” He pauses. His voice quiets. “Though if I did, I would still choose you.”

You’re full on crying now. You don’t know what to say. You’re completely confused, feelings of sadness and frustration and maybe even some admiration towards this boy who’s trying so hard to get you to want him swirling through your body. The bite mark at the junction of your collar and neck starts to throb, hot and painful, like he had bitten you all over again. Your fingers go up and touch it. Shawn’s eyes follow your hand and he lets a few tears out himself.

“I’m not doing this to hurt you,” Shawn explains. “I’ve looked forward to meeting you for the past ten years. It just fucking sucks that you don’t want to be here when I’ve waited all this time and have wanted nothing more than just some companionship. That’s all I want. I just want someone to spend my life with. You don’t need to do anything else if you don’t want to.” He says, wiping away a tear making its way down his cheek. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am.”

You sniff and feel waves of exhaustion roll over you. You don’t have the energy to fight anymore, and truthfully you don’t know if you’re even mad anymore. There’s no right answer, here, and all you’re doing is hurting him. You resolve to deal with it later, if at all. Maybe you’ll let it roll off your back. Maybe you’ll let him burrow into your heart. You have no clue.

“I’m going to bed,” You say quietly. Shawn nods. “You can come, if you want to. I’m sorry.”

He looks up in surprise. “You’re okay with that?”

You just take his hand and lead him back to your room.

It’s pitch black. You crawl into bed and feel him slot in beside you. He doesn’t really provide any warmth, but you nestle into his shoulder anyways, swinging a leg over his waist. He hums his appreciation and his hand grips your hipbone. Comfort radiates from every joint in his body, and that throbbing from your bite mark melts away, replaced by a cooling, soothing sensation. You sigh out any remaining anxiety.

“Shawn?”

“Y/N?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m really sorry.”

He kisses your forehead and pulls you closer as you drift off into sleep.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

The two of you treat the next morning as the beginning of whatever this relationship is.

Shawn gently jostles you awake and greets you with a kiss on the cheek. The spot where his lips touch creates warmth that lingers for minutes after. Your body feels better than it ever has as you stretch out your tired limbs. Your mind is sharper; your joints no longer crack; even your hair is softer and your eyes brighter. Shawn also looks fantastic, with a healthy glow and impossibly wider smile. He looks gorgeous, you think. Your hand reaches up to trail along his cheek. He kisses it right before it drops back to the mattress.

“I’m happy to have you as my mate,” you say quietly. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise.”

Shawn kisses away your apology.

You think you’d be okay spending forever with him.

That’s a wrap! You guys... what did you think? Please send me your thoughts on this because I loved writing it! If you have ideas for blurbs continuing this series, let me know! I love this couple and I hope you guys do too. My requests are always open— happy Halloween! 🎃🖤💋 I wish you all vampire Shawn boyfriends 😚

#shawn mendes imagine #vampire shawn #fics #fluff #angst #supernatural

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ruffoverthinksthings · 7 years

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I'm dying to know about the interactions between Claudine and Phoebus. Knowing them, I feel that it would be a mixture of hilarious hashing about life and routine vs. a hit-and-miss about the best courses of action regarding the VKs. After what Claudine's gone through, how would Phoebus' humor be effective? Especially with Claudine. Btw, you're awesome, keep on turning out the headcanons. You're doing better than the actual canon material.

God Help The Outcasts (Part 3): The Traitor

Warning: Referencesto Past Sexual Abuse.

Claudine’s bigpublic outburst obviously had massive consequences, reaching far pasther getting dragged off-stage, the sanctions on her permanent recordand her probation in Auradon, and extra Remedial Goodness classeswith Quasimodo.

On a larger scale,it opens up a massive rift in the public, split between those thatsay she was completely out of line for exploding like that and usingso much profanity and rudeness (in front of children, no less), andthose that believe she was completely justified, as they had beenusing the “proper channels” to communicate with the governmentand had either gotten apologies before being ignored, or wereoutright oppressed as with the case of the Magic Ban.

In the words of oneof Claudine’s sympathizers, “She was just making sure youcould hear her now!”

Either way, she’scharged with disruption of the peace, obscenity, and corruption ofminors.

Because of thespecial and highly politically charged nature of a VK being taken infor a crime/s,* she gets sent to a very high ranking member of theRoyal Guard who has experience handling “crossing a minefield,whilst blindfolded, dizzy, and drunk” cases:

Captain Phoebus ofFrance.

For logistical andconvenience reasons, he flies in all the way to Auradon Prep, wherethey meet at the interrogation room of a local garrison. The air ismusty, the furniture old and long unused, and the whole place wasobviously just cleaned since its last use a couple of months to ayear back.

Claudine is escortedin without handcuffs, and at Phoebus request, her guards aredismissed, leaving the two of them alone but for the camera, and thestenographer and emergency guards watching behind a one-way glass.

“Do you know whyyou’re here?” Phoebus asks, his expression and tone completelyserious.

“Because I calledout your whole society on their bullshit?” Claudine replies.

“No, you’re herebecause of your fashion choices: it’s illegal to show thatmuch skin. Do you realize how many pedestrian and vehicularaccidents you could have caused just by walking by?”

Claudine blinks.“What.”

Phoebus smiles.“That was a joke. In all seriousness, though, you are in bigtrouble for that tirade you had yesterday—excellent choice ofwords, by the way, never heard those specific combinations of cursesand insults before, they made quite the impact.”

“You learn a loton the Isle,” Claudine replies flatly. “And I’m not apologizingfor it, if that’s what you’re getting at! Throw me back on theIsle for all I care, I’d rather be back there eating garbage, thanbe a bunch of fucking Pharisees like majority of the ‘Good’people running around here!”

“I expected asmuch, which is why I’m here to offer you a deal.”

Claudine sighs, andstarts unbuttoning her shirt even more than it already is. “So longas I don’t have to swallow, pretend you’re amazing, or fake anorgasm…”

Phoebus looks awayand shields his eyes. “Not that kind of deal! Please, buttonyour shirt back up.”

Claudine laughs.“Why? Afraid your wife will find out her tits have gotten too oldfor you?”

“No, because one,I respect you too much to let you degrade yourself like this, two, Ilike being the guy that puts people into jail, not being the guybehind bars, and three, my wife’s breasts are perfect, andI’ll never want for anything more than what she has, thank you verymuch!

“Now would youplease make yourself decent again…?”

Claudine sighsheavily. “Alright…”

A few moments ofsilence and shuffling.

“You’re stilltopless, aren’t you?”

Claudine smirks.“How’d you know?”

“I’ve got asixth sense for whether or not a woman is in a state of undress;blame a wife who likes to lounge around the house completely naked.”

“You luckybastard, you,” Claudine says flatly.

Phoebus smiles. “Iknow, I still can’t believe it myself! Anyway, about that deal Imentioned, one that does not in fact involve you getting naked nor usdoing the do-diddly-dangeroo…”

Claudine sniggered.“That is the dumbest fucking innuendo for ‘fucking’ I have everheard.”

“Ah, but it madeyou laugh, didn’t it?” Phoebus says, pointing a finger at her.

“Only because itwas so offensive I have to laugh to keep myself from dyinginside.”

“Touché, but Istill count that as a win. Now, do I throw out some more jokes andtry to make you laugh, or do you want to get serious and hear out myoffer?”

“I can’t takeyou seriously if you can’t even look me in the eyes, ‘Captain,’”Claudine says playfully.

“I will onceyou’ve put your clothes back on.”

Claudine sighs.“Fine.” A brief moment of silence and more shuffling. “I’mcovered up now! Seriously this time.”

Phoebus carefullyopens his eyes, and is pleased to find she’s about as decent as shecan get with her get up. “Happy to see you didn’t pull a ‘madeyou look!’ on me.”

“Trust me, it’sonly because I want to know what it is you actually want fromme…”

The plan is rathersimple: an hour’s detention after-school Monday-Friday, wherePhoebus is supposed to teach her how to interact with people in apolite way, keep her cool, and not have another outburst or rant likethat, either in social media, in public, and especially anothertelevised event.

“I understandwhere you’re coming from,” Phoebus says on their first meeting.“Everyone talks to everyone, and the internet makes that easierthan ever. But that doesn’t mean you should just say whatever is onyour mind, and more importantly, that you don’t reply to everyonethat talks to you, those who insult you especially.

“And moreimportantly, you have a secret weapon on your side: Part One of ourBig Master Plan.”

Claudine raises hereyebrows. Images of IP traces, royal guards bursting down doors, andinternet trolls pissing their underwear come to her mind. “I’mlistening…”

“This secretweapon, the most powerful move you have against your Pharisees, oneyou can rely on to be 100% effective when used properly, is this:

“Ignore them.”

Claudine stares athim. Then, she scowls. “Are you shitting me right now? Sowhat, I just let their shit-talking stink up my air, never give themcrap back for their bull?”

“No, and beforeyou continue, let me explain: a lot of people don’t realize this,but insults only have the power to hurt you if you let them. YourPharisees are like vampires, sucking out your self-worth, confidence,and good feelings, but also like vampires, they can only hurt you ifyou invite them into your house.

“Your reaction iswhat the Pharisees want—they want to know that they hurt you, thatthey riled you up so bad you find you have no choice but to payattention to them.

“If you deny thempermission to ever enter your front door, they’ll just glare at youthrough the windows, yell at you to let them in, before they leaveand find someone else to feed on. In my experience, they’re reallynot that picky.”

“But even if Idon’t let them in through the door to bite my neck, I can stillhear them through the walls; it may all be bullshit, but it stillfucking hurts, you know…?” Claudine says with much lessbite.

Phoebus eyes soften.“I know. Trust me, I’ve been where you are. But that’s a storyfor another time, as we’re going to move to step two of our BigMaster Plan:

“Be a betterperson, with better problems.

“Find people whoseopinion you should listen to, who you need to listen to, and willwant to listen to. Think of reading troll comments on YouTube, vsreading a really good, well-reasoned blog-post as the differencebetween gorging on potato chips, vs a nice, baked potato with chivesand gravy.

“One, you canreally savour and enjoy, the other, you just shove into your mouthwithout a second thought—baked potato’s healthier for you, too.”

The two take a quicktrip to a vending machine, before resuming.

“So what’s step3 of the Big Master Plan?” Claudine asks as she settles in with apack of Oreos.

“You removeyourself from your Pharisees,” Phoebus replies as he opens up a bagof nuts. “Get out of their circles and comment threads. Keep yourdistance, and just observe. Watch how they talk, act, and/or screaminsults into the void, hoping someone will take offense and engagethem.

“Then, askyourself: ‘Why?’

“Why do they dothis? Why you specifically? Why do they spend so much of theirprecious time and limited days on this world to bother you?”

Claudine nods. “Andis step four confronting them, now that I know my enemy?”

Phoebus shakes hishead. After swallowing his mouthful of nuts, he says, “No, that’sstep five; four is to go out and compliment people, engage in realconversation, and civil, reasonable, fruitful debate. Acquaintyourself with how people really talk when they want to make aconnection with someone and exchange ideas. See what it’s like whenyou don’t reduce yourself to sound-bites, mean flits, and memes.

“Maybe even havethem face-to-face.

“And this is wherewe get to step five: return to your Pharisees. Ask them, why do theydo what they do? Why the hate? Don’t they have anything betterto do with their lives?

“This iscompletely optional, by the way, but whether or not you do it, everytime you find yourself tempted to reply to a stupid insult onStorybook, just repeat step one.”

To help with this,he teacher her all about humour, “the art of making something funout of terrible, awful things.”

He relates to herhow incredibly tense things were immediately after the Great Uniting.Before, when it was just communications through rifts in reality andthe occasional ambassador, it was all good will, excitement, andbeing on their best behaviours, “like all the different realms weredating each other.”

“The Great Unitingwas all of them getting married and moving in together, and formajority of the people, this is when the reality finally hit themthat they’d have to live with each other, every single day ofthe year, for the rest of our lives.

“Metaphoricallyspeaking, we had to share our bathrooms, see each other when we wokeup in the morning before a shower, pants, and a nice strong pot ofcoffee, and be keenly aware of all our bad habits, our flaws,and whenever we indulged in our, ahem, baser pleasures.

“It was a roughtime, even with the translators to help smooth the transition intoEnglish.

“Sometimes, it’d actually make things worse when atranslator decided to soften, change, or completely cut out the badparts of whatever a Grecian said to the woman from Corona, and theyhappen to have a bilingual friend who could tell them what theyreally meant.

“The honeymoon wasover, and lots of people were having regrets. They were feelinghomesick, and even if they had literally brought home with them,Auradon definitely wasn’t the Kansas. Things were lookinglike we were headed to a divorce, and an ugly one at that.”

“Did things everget to the shouting and breaking dishes level?”

“For some, yes.But that was inevitable and expected when you pulled off something asbig, complicated, and messy as this. The rest, however, we had todefuse before things really got ugly, with the one universallanguage all of us could understand:

“Humour.

“I’ve yet tomeet a culture that doesn’t like to laugh—and if they don’t,Beast and the others passed them over for the final list.

“Using comedy wasthe perfect tool. It defused tensions, it broke the ice, it letpeople find something they had in common so we could start buildingbridges there. And as a wise man once said, ‘If your enemy isdoubled over in laughter, he can’t club you to death.’”

Claudine smirks. “Ibeg to differ, but I get the point…”

Phoebus becomes aguide, a protector (for both external aggressors and Claudine’sworse impulses), and a third regulating force in her life, a properfather figure for her whom she frequently hangs out with every otherSunday to go out and bond, be her chaperon for when she starts datingagain (and seriously, this time), and being one of the people she canalways call when things go wrong.

She also calls him for advice, and often times, when he catches wind of her getting into trouble, offers helpful advice, like this one tacked onto the end of many lengthier pieces: “… But most importantly: don’t punch anyone in the dick, or where they would have one if they’re female.”

The humour helps her get over her natural distrust of authority, seeing as that’s what caused and enforced the Isle, and Maleficent’s guards aren’t saints themselves, or follow much of a “code of honour.” Claudine often timescalls him when she can to ask him to tell a joke. One of them isthis:

“One day, a nunliving in a convent in a forest comes across a hunter trying to bagsome deer. As she gathers herbs and berries, she watches as thehunter nocks his bow, takes aim, and misses.

“’Goddammit, Imissed!’ the hunter cries as his prey gets away.

“’Oh mygoodness, what foul language!’ the nun says to herself. ‘God,please give this man the strength, so he may never take Your name invain ever again.’

“Later, the nun isgetting some water from the river, and she sees the hunter trying tobag some deer again. Again, he nocks his bow, takes aim, and misses.

“’Goddammit, Imissed!’ he cries as his prey gets away yet again.

“’Oh mygoodness, what a horrible man!’ the nun says to herself. ‘God,please show this man why you do not take Your name in vain!’

Suddenly, the skydarkens, clouds roll in, and a bolt of lightning comes shooting downfrom above, striking the ground just beside the hunter!

Then, they hear adeep, rumbling voice echoing all throughout the forest:

“Me-dammit, Imissed!’”

* The Rotten Four’s“forgiveness” at the end of the first movie was not nearly asclean and quick as was portrayed in canon.

#god help the outcasts #Descendants #Disney #headcanon

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thegoldandsugar-blog · 7 years

Text

AROUND 365

This is the “shameless” me heading home,in a matatu booming loud crunk and some silly Fetty Wap crysongs( yeaaaah bae…),from a place that took me dosens of courage bundles and self discipline to atleast gather guts to leave ; of course there’s always a bunch of sinners trying to drive your faith into badlands where there are no parents you have to report to, in full detail, as to why you are having bad dreams about coming home late, since God is gracing them with a whole pack of awesomeness, so somehow you get home eleven deep night and your old man goes like “do you want us to lie outside watching the stars, reciting poetry into the thin air?” Ring! Ring! Wake up! Run away from them as first as you can’t since all you do is drink senator cage in a local bar so you got a belly looking like you Swallowed a giant drumstick without chewing but all is good though, Ladies still f-audio censor, tiiiiiingg!- with you.

Text Reference ( Punctuality - never mistake its power in your peace at home especially when lecturers are on strike and home is one place people will have to bear with your loud disturbing singing of a weird genre of music for a very long time, like long!)

Okay. I was about to narrate stories from where I’m from. A friend’s place, as always. Been there for some couple of days if you are using the high timeline (sometimes you wish you could wake up and spend a day just human, your lungs full of fresh air and the liver on vacation in Ibiza but there’s always that call from one your so called ninjas - “i swear this sh*t is lit, last night i was smoked and felt so astronaut." Then they sum the deal with that notoriously famous phrase "there also a few girls too”. God forbid the things that construction of grammar does to our brains, all the way to a lame excuse like "my friend’s cousin passed away, im going to console with them tonight". Remember to ask how many times that good friend has had to kill you to show up at your ‘predicted-to-be-lit’ party with no girl or a bottle of cheap whisky, in contrary with demands and instructions highlighted in the invitation on WhatsApp.A very serious violation of the turn up ratio principles and high accords.

Now, Now,Now. It was a good night from where i come from, I mean it was considerable damage to the body having spent the whole week sleeping, eating, doing nothing! That "Jack with no play is a dull boy" philosophy is something i hold so dear to my heart people. So some green leaf combustion to release healthy carbon killing cancer cells, initiating some brain rebooting and application updates was going on after a day full of similar happenings in a location from which i telepoted to this place where i leave fellow sinners going on with the quests for higher clouds. One thing is we didn’t know how we found ourselves here but damn! We’re a bunch of lost warthogs, we don’t remember sh*t and that, is one reason we’re so happy ( Lord help them see their lives)

As the routine prescribes it to be, i mean some random confessions about how elevated one feels ; in the skies flying with stokes, delivering babies to fellow men who apparently… ( ladies and gentlemen, the next statement has been written out of utmost respect for all men and if not, my apologies)… Shoot blanks! Then you feel so amazing and amidst all these good things are stupid moments like "this stash is fine bruh, whom did you buy it from? Especially when you were the same single person in that clique that knows all the sellers in your area and individually went to purchase the magic wands, YOURSELF! If you were in a serious session then you don’t miss an Einstein moment during which numerous brainstorms are battering your skull, exploding with billions of ideas about the cosmos and the relationship between FIFA 17 and Heaven (sometimes you might fail to grip the difference but brethren! Brethren! ) . Of course it doesn’t go without mentioning the various “facts” and concrete reasons as to why your extremely silly arguments came to existence, deserving a chunk of minutes set aside for their discussion and clarification. The beat of that EDM track is overwhelming your emotions and you hate your life. Why do you stay in such a cursed continent with black people and elephants which attract more love than the people themselves? You want to live in America, go to some dope college in Dallas, get paid a few dollars per hour( you’re a humble child from Africa, with an ashy face since most of the vaseline is spent on other vital body checks and balances, so “a few” will be okay), eat some McDonald’s burgers or Subway cookies and mess with white boujee babes. This is one of those moments you wonder what your great grandfathers were doing when others were taken up for slavery now their generations living lavish in Beverly Hills. They must have been some lazy bunch i swear. Right now you could be some youth in Atlanta looking like a vintage ghost of Shakes Makena in the super strikers classics, with some gold tooth and a zombie rap style earning a thousand bucks with a name like "Kodak Black" ( may the gods have mercy) . Out of nowhere! Upto where we are now you can sense the humour in your Hollywood aspirations so you laugh out loud, seconds before your mates join in, till that final time a rush of wisdom strikes one of you and asks what y'all laughing about, then you realize there was actually no joke but then again, who cares? The cycle continues.

This is what I’m thinking at that moment, my Einstein moment! What if our world was a just a setting of a game section played by a people of an elite dimension, the real world now. Let’s say like GTA stuff. So each one of us is a Trevor of some sought, your gamer is bad at racing, shooting and even finding locations because unfortunately he got no clue of the map and its purpose. Basically, his “gaming” skills are on the garbage side of mediocre, lets say it’s a dumb ass potential school dropout trying to spend time away so evening can come and sleep, moral lesson - you’re a game over or busted(dead!) . In short, this type of game is that which was played 10 years ago by the urban kids with PS(long before the numbers) now they took all their old junk to the countryside so relatives are trying to chase the trend. That’s how bad these imaginations are. I’m proud of myself, honestly. Of all these red-eyed fallen humans staring at me sharing this fiction, anticipating the next part of this plot like the release of the next shooter episode in those pirate sites, over buffering connection,i think i have the best story!

Come on now, you and i know that one guy that got to tell false stories about his uncle and the many ladies who certainly find him a supermodel and can’t resist proclaiming their love all over social media. He’s always recording chest bare videos for his 316 Instagram followers or “with the boys” captioned pictures, with the many Picsart filters, to his Facebook .Sometimes you’re there in your zone thinking why you tolerate such characters in your outcast living till it hits you that you were not blessed with the sweet slippery tongue to lure in all the pretty girls to your parties that he professionally possesses. He’s always there to save your thirst,as long as he doesn’t pay for any other activity. ( sniper tings, put some hashtags on that).

Drifting down this plot, this is the best deal of this turnt up business! The ladies. The sweet ladies that accepted to be part of a life saving campaign as far as your boring day is concerned , God bless their tolerance, even I wouldn’t dare to give my number to myself, let alone answering to a "Form call". You can’t believe what we tell you the next day but that part about you pulling some Grrrrrh ! Grrrrh! to a “rrrrraah”, lecturing a dab session for the song "panda" to a girl smiling sheepishly, balancing on wobbly worn out feet asking silly sad questions at the corner is a true story. One in which your vampire qualities are activated so you are frequently seen in dark corners and poorly lit corridors serving as blindspots for the prosperity of your uncouth behaviours inspired by a great deal of moral decay.You somehow want to walk to that girl sitting on the couch and whisper “that’s some fine piece of beef you carry back there” but then you realise she’s still on the other side of town and the joke may not have a required reciprocate , enough slaps today, more drugs for her. Now you’ve changed your mind about her, “noo, she’s too rachet bruh, too rachet! Don’t play yourself! ” ( the boys up there are in serious analysis and checks - you can even establish family backgrounds of all your friends by sight alone. Of course these are the same boys that save the day from the rant of your father) Before processing the next thought, the stomach is up. Dear Munchies, even the ice cubes seem edible : bottomline, this hunger is pure evil with lots of malice! Hunger games catching fire! The moment you come out of the house, dusk has come, an end of a new day, the same day you had promised to show up at home before noon. Change of course now. A few minutes later, you’re in this mat’ writing this silly story that probably no one will like even after laughing to it because you are not any lady posting a "#lipgame" pic with an inspirational quote like, "throw me to the wolves and I’ll come back leading the pack" (why is social media so heartless? It’s like, liking your fellow ninja’s post is gay!) . It’s still the same you caring not to make any close eye contact with other passengers at this point because unfortunately, your eyes can tell it all. You know there are thousands of grammatical mistakes all over this composition but what are edits for? Furthermore this is a good piece, fruits of "the stash" and next time you’re called up yonder, you won’t hesitate. See your life!

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