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temporalhiccup · 2 months

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I'm trying to write about this without getting emotional, but it's pretty hard! Hah!

But it's been officially announced so I can finally talk about it! I'm the Lead Designer (damn) on the official Tomb Raider TTRPG (double damn). Shadows of Truth has a public playtest coming up soon, and I'm excited for folks to see what we've been working on!

It's been a wild ride and a fun time, but this is also the biggest challenge I've had to face as a ttrpg designer. Like many indie folks I've drawn inspiration from the media we love (Apocalypse Keys is proudly Hellboy-inspired, among other things!) while still making it our own unique thing.

Tomb Raider has been completely different, in that I have to do my best to translate some awesome video game history into a ttrpg experience. And I gotta be as true to the source material and experience as possible, while still centering what makes ttrpgs great!

Tomb Raider is also a franchise that's been around for almost 30 years and is a HUGE DEAL. It's hard to describe how much of an impact it's made on action-adventure video games, repeatedly! Lara Croft is easily one of the most iconic characters in video games and the genre, and her Adventures include (several) dinosaurs, wild transhuman demonic Atlantean stuff, and apocalypse-inducing artifacts.

But Lara to me, especially since the 2013 game, has been a truly amazing and conflicted heroine. The last three games that grounded her and made her vulnerable, while still creating intense experiences, really hooked me. I really wanted to honor the journey of Tomb Raider and make a really fun and thrilling ttrpg for folks.

But anyone who knows me, knows that anti-colonial design is in all my games. It's just who I am, and it's not something I consciously did at first. It wasn't even until I started designing ttrpgs, in my 30s, that I realized how important my personal decolonization process was, and a lot of that has helped me discover new aspects of my identity (including being a transmasculine person).

So, I don't need to tell you that a franchise called Tomb Raider has some colonial implications, right?

As development goes on, folks have asked me "How is the game anti-colonial?" or "How are you addressing the colonialism?" I want to start off by saying as a team we conceptualized what that could mean while still being true to the franchise. But since then, as Lead Designer, I've had to make hundreds of decisions that are reflected in countless design and structural choices. I can point to dozens of mechanics and things and describe how this is my personal attempt to present anti-colonial gaming, and I'm grateful for the help our team of consultants and playtesters in guiding me.

It's kind of wild, but in chasing after and reaching for anti-colonial design, I've had to figure out how to implement great tech from other designers, but also come up with lots of new stuff too. There's some really cool Adventure design stuff that is really hard to pull off in a PbtA framework where you play to find out. (Arguably, PbtA itself has a lot of anti-colonial play about it compared to mainstream ttrpgs and it's one of the reasons we used PbtA as a design framework but that's a whole other conversation)

I'm really so grateful for the support from the team! It's hard to feel like I'm good enough and can measure up to Evil Hat's faith in me, but they've been incredibly supportive and open, and it's been stellar. Crystal Dynamics has also been amazing to work with, especially because it was important to me that while we honor how awesome Tomb Raider is, we don't downplay the difficult truths of colonialism and its ongoing effects. And they were so incredibly on board for that! It's so rare for a marginalized person like me to be granted an opportunity like this, and I am determined to give it my all.

We've built a team that's been amazing to collaborate with, and @ostrichmonkey-games has been doing incredible work alongside me. I'm really proud of what we're doing as a team! I can't wait for folks to see it come together.

You can also check out the Polygon (!!!) article about the game, which gives you a sense of some of the cool mechanics at play!

I know it's easy to write off an IP ttrpg based on a really big franchise (and for good reasons, unfortunately). But I really do think we're doing something special here! I hope y'all will give the game a chance and check it out when the public playtest starts up!

#omg ive been working on this forever #this game in its open playtest form is ALREADY BIGGER THAN APOCALYPSE KEYS GOOD GOD #the initial playtests have also been crazy good fun but also like super cathartic for my colonial feelings #am i still allowed to label this as indie ttrpgs #do i want to walk into that conversation #can you believe the tomb raider ttrpg is happening?!

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royalarchivist · 1 month

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[After they talk about Pac's debt to the Pancake Mafia, and Pac warns her about Sir Reaper]

Bagi: I think you're the one that needs to be careful, because soon you might lose your other leg.

Pac: N-no! NO! Please don't! Stop- stop! STOP TALKING LIKE YOUR BROTHER!

Bagi: [Laughs]

Pac: I'll pay you– I'm going to pay you!

I want to give a MASSIVE thank you to @wasabi-ribs, who was kind enough to check my translations and help me with the parts I missed (and also reviewed the final subtitled video)!

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]

-

Bagi: Pac, pay the rent!

Pac: I'm going to pay! Hey- I'm going to pay right this second, the money that I owe you, and... and I'm- I'm serious! And look, if you want- if you have more money... If I pay your 4,500, will you lend me 4,500? No, then I'll actually drown in fees. [Laughs]

Bagi: [Laughs] I'll lend you, I'll lend you

Pac: No, not really Bagi. You've got those red eyes– I'm scared, Bagi. I don't know– I don't know what happened, actually it's an eye infection, I know– But something tells me it's not just an eye infection, that it's also some other things, you know? Like, um... y'know, right? [He fumbles again] Oh God wait, your brother– when he had those red eyes he would also turn evil. Nonononono– I'll pay you, ok? Where's the waystone? It's here, it's here, it's here– I'll pay you, ok? I'll pay the 4,500- we're gonna–

Bagi: I'll be waiting.

Pac: No no, oh- just– Just let me walk, my God, I love walking– OH, WALKING IS SO GOOD – [Pac teleports] I'll pay her.

[Bagi follows him moments after]

Pac: [Pac mumbles to himself as he begins transferring money to Bagi] 4,500... I need to pay her 4,500...

Bagi: [Sneaks up on him] Oh, perfect!

Pac: [SCREAMS]

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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btw! You were talking about your multi shipping and some secret rare pair. I've been in suspense ever since. What's the pair anyway? Or are you in the middle of making a chart? I'm just real curious

oh lmao did i not say what it was? it's not some 'oooh ahhh' thing i just had a Cute Thought and went "yeah i can dig that!". its simply Niche!

first i was thinkin "aw, yk Barnaby/Eddie is kinda cute" and then immediately went "wait ohhhh established Laughingstock but they fold Eddie into the relationship" and yeah <3

#just a silly little ehee aha fun little Thoughts #barnaby & howdy having a good ol time trying to drop hints & court ed <3 #i have taste i Swear #ok thats i lie i can enjoy practically anything but yk....#its cute!!! its Cute!!!#eddie and his tall silly guys!#barnaby and his hard-working chatterbox boys!#howdy and eddie and their laidback hound!!#rambles from the bog #im imagining them reclining against barn after a long day's work #chattering endlessly while barn just sits there in peace. listening of course! chiming in when able!#i feel like howdy and eddie Getting Along or in a Romantic Relationship would be unbearable #they both talk so much... it'd be an endless feedback loop yk #but barnaby has big ears to track both sides of the conversation!!#and if they all move into barnaby's place #im picturing... howdy and eddie having quiet early mornings together before walking to work arm-in-arm <3 #but yeah yeah...#romantic pairings aside i Do think that barnaby & eddie have a lot of friend potential!#and i want howdy to get the fuck over his one sided rivalry (kidding! i love it! its one of my favorite things!)#so that he and eddie can just talk endlessly at each other. i think they could get along as well - howdy willing of course #oh i feel character dynamic analysis brain waking up #bc genuinely i think eddie Does want to be pals with howdy #which makes sense! theyre the only working neighbors! Camaraderie! Understanding! Solidarity!#and i feel like that came across a liiiiitle bit in his shared audio with howdy #but howdy's got a stick up his ass (said lovingly) hE tALkS yOuR eAr OfF #*proceeds to talk nonstop at barnaby for the next hour*#howdy: he's trying to steal my place in the neighborhood. he's mocking me. he thinks i don't work half as hard as him #(cut to eddie smiling and waving at howdy from afar - genuinely happy to see him)#ANYWAY DERAILING MY OWN TAGS AGAIN SORRY #yeah i just think its a cute thought to entertain when im bored! its not serious just Fun

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devilfic · 1 year

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I feel like a lot of people confuse battinson!bruce’s social awkwardness with being shy

sometimes I see people describe bruce as being this shy, nervous, shaking chihuahua of a man who will curl up into a fetal position if a social situation stresses him out and as funny as that is to imagine… I think a lot of people are forgetting that bruce could NOT care less

like. bruce isn’t scared of the public eye. he doesn’t like it. he’s not shy, he’s awkward. I’d argue the only times he’s truly close to being shy (and I’d argue even further that he’s just. disarmed) is when he’s around selina

when bruce is uncomfortable in the public eye like at don mitchell’s funeral, it’s not because he’s scared of what people will think of him. if bruce cared what people thought of him, he’d have started playing a more active role as CEO years ago. that’s not what’s happening

he’s uncomfortable because he’s there to get a lead on the riddler case (the only thing he cares about) and he’s inconvenienced by being noticed. he’s not nervous. he’s annoyed!!

#this is also why he just. leaves conversations once he’s done talking to someone as batman #and everyone is like oh that batman. leaving in the middle of conversation like that. what a strange guy #bruce as bruce is just upset because he can’t do that without it inconveniencing him #because of bruce wayne was ‘rude’ then he’d have to deal with tabloids and press and alfred and bruce just wants to get back to sleuthin’#*if #trust if he could just walk away from social interactions without it damaging his reputation in an inconvenient way then he would 100%#and lest we forget. comics bruce is a bit of a bitch andhdjsh #I like to read him as like a toddler itching to get out of their church clothes because it makes them feel itchy #he feels most comfortable as batman because he doesn’t have to worry about pretending to be nice and friendly. he’s there to do his job #I’d also like to add that he is also disarmed around children!!#I don’t think I’d call that shy either. he’s still just awkward and struggling to know what to say #but guess who he darts for the minute that car comes barreling into the church?#the batman #battinson #dc #mjspeaks

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alsojnpie · 2 months

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hey. um. i love him

#O_O i really love him #it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer #by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die #sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day #kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do #using another website just sounds so depressing #im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it #but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation #i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it #and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience #I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it #i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of #the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked #and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that.#there's several reasons #but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know #in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time #idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what #no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself #and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one

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polite-pandemonium · 6 months

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I am just somehow OBSESSED with Takeru DRIVING. Like is he a bad driver? He speeds past the gang waiting outside of Daisuke's restaurant (or the restaurant where Daisuke works, whatever), so maybe? Is that his mom's car? Or is it his car? Why does he NEED a car? What is he doing that requires him to drive? Is it going to be a plot point in the movie? Is Takeru being a BAD DRIVER going to be a plot point? I need to know.

Ken and Miyako are also visibly startled when Takeru speeds past (Miyako JUMPS!!!!), while Iori and Hikari don't even flinch. What does that say about DYNAMIC?! Are Iori and Hikari more used to Takeru's (presumably bad) driving? That would make sense, no, cause they are (canonically???) closer with him? Just such a small interaction and I can interpret so much and draw so many conclusions!!! How fun!!!

There's just something really so fun about watching characters you've loved your whole life continue to grow - to see new details about them spring up, new traits, new things to add to canon. It's the most delightful thing about the Digimon Adventure franchise to me. Sure, the stories they have told over the last decade have mostly been all various shades of mediocre, but the character moments - goodness, the character moments just don't hit the same in any other media for me. It's so special to me.

ETA: WAIT, looking at the screencap, Iori looks slightly concerned. Only Hikari looks calm (though she does turn her whole body to look at the car once it stops). Does this mean HIKARI is the only one comfortable with his driving? Cause Hikari is closest to him? (I don't even think their closeness is something that is debatable - I feel like it is PRETTY CANON that they are closest with each other???????????)

HERE'S HOW TAKARI CAN STILL WIN.

#if anyone wants to talk about Takeru DRIVING please DM me lmaooo #I think a big reason about why I am obsessed with it is because when I write/wrote Digimon fanfic #I was always VERY CAREFUL to make sure the characters took transit or walked places #motor vehicle ownership is very low in Japan and I want to make my fics feel as real as possible while still being fanfiction #so it wouldn't make sense for any of the Chosen to drive #SO TAKERU DRIVING????#IS SENDING ME TO ANOTHER LEVEL #if only for the TRANSPORTATION POSSIBILITIES it will open up for me when/if I ever finish writing something again #also - car conversations #car intimacy #SO MANY THINGS TO CONSIDER #I'm done #I'm going to bed #I'm really bored cause I am leaving for vacation in ten days and so are all my friends #so the thing about going on vacation with the people you hang out with a lot is that everyone is preparing to go on vacation at the same ti #so everyone is the same kind and amount of busy #the last minute errands and appointments and wrapping up work and getting ready to abandon your regularly scheduled life for two weeks kind #so I'm....not doing much lately lol #hence my losing it over this #digimon

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nerosdayinanime · 8 months

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wait. random idea. Pathetic(blame candy) muzan & kokushibo are exes from Centuries ago and he has Complaints hed like to talk about w him but all hes getting to now is Nakime. hes so sick of his bullshit and just enduring it and goes to kagaya like 'i have to kill kibutsuji. ill help you kill him & the other upper moons just PLEASE im so sick of this shit. i need to kill him' 'well you arent killing me so ill give you the benefit of doubt-'

since they broke up he's hacked at the curse to the point he can snap it Whenever without muzan noticing, he finally did so & went to kagaya bc he can Feel shit's gonna pick up soon. he has his memories but he Ignores Them bc hes ashamed and kinda projecting it onto muzan. he has to kill muzan to kill his shame kinda fucked up coping mechanism yk?

the hashira try to kill him On Sight together but he calmly deflects everything while explaining hes working with them to kill kibutsuji. reluctant acceptance with the note from kagaya giving him a pass. most of them fully believe its a trap tho.

koku seeing tanjiro & his earrings and starting to approach, giyuu already has his blade lodged in his neck as a warning/threat & tanjiro staring at him in shock like 'HUH?? THE MAN FROM MY DREAMS?? HES A DEMON NOW? WAIT WHATS HE DOING HERE-'

#allied kokushibo au #he gets to have a conversation w tanjiro (giyuu watching like a fucking hawk) about his brother & sun breathing and all that- nezuko and her #conquering the sun- koku agreeing that of any demon she deserves to have the sun's blessing. not fuckin *muzan*. he'll want his grubby #little hands on her as soon as he finds out. You. practice sun breathing Right Now you have to be Ready for this.#kokushibo #tsugikuni michikatsu #kny spoilers #<probably need to add that since this is like Entirely surrounding the final few arcs #he talks to tomayo&yushiro and shinobu and gets in on their plans. maybe stop shinobu from her suicide attempt & deals with douma himself #leaves more than just tanjiro and giyuu to fight akaza #i dont remember how kaigaku's goes isnt zenitsu the only one? if so he can keep that thats his atonement whatever for jigoro #nakime however is going to have much more of a Time defending against like 4 hashira at once #yadda yadda less casualties happier ending. koku not knowing what the fuck to do now. stop the need to Eat People to live obviously but what #the fuck. he still hates himself. all the tereible shit hes done and for What. does he kill himself? walking into the sun seems like a good #way to go. fitting yk? but if he becomes fully human like nezuko did what the fuck does he Do. just. Live? after all the shit he did? no..#cool at the beginning but the ending has many questions #i do think he'd want to kill himself but i also think he'd be scared to see his brother in the afterlife. in canon it feels like a spur of #the moment Explode Yourself bc the emotions were overwhelming in the moment #or maybe its been way too long since ive read the manga and this shits ALL out of character #whatever it was funnie at first but then i put too much thought into it #def wanna see somethn with him & tanjiro talking about how theyre connected #kny manga spoilers

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akkivee · 8 months

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there’s usually a q&a section in the hypster magazine where the cast are asked a question and the recent volume had them answer what do they do to relieve stress and tbh bat’s has been on the mind lately lol:

📿: he responded by saying that’s a stupid question since he couldn’t call himself a monk if allowed stress to build up. but if there’s a situation that he has no control over, he goes to surround himself in nature

🌙: he likes weeding the family garden!!! it helps him clear his mind and forget about the things that were bothering him and it makes his family happy to see the garden looking pretty too!!

⚖️: he finds a place where there’s nobody around to scream with all his might. it’s a great feeling since you don’t often get the chance to let out as loud as possible

#this is vee speaking #i’m glad kuukou finds solace from inevitabilities with his hobby #but it kinda makes his dislike for the ocean stand out even more ngl lol #and that scene in the six colours track where he spawns in the middle of jyushi and hitoya’s conversation #he happened to be on a morning walk lol but what if he was walking off something like jyushi was and convinced hitoya to do lol #idk if jyushi has a green thumb but this isn’t the first time jyushi’s weeding hobby has come up and i still think it’s cute he has it lol #that old theory that doppo and jyushi are related has inadvertently been getting a lot of food lately lol #jyushi also likes taking care of plants and he and doppo have the same sense of humour lmao brothers from other mothers lol #the part of me that always clowns hitoya lol #is imagining hitoya in place of troy bolton from that one hsm number where he’s yelling alone in his high school LOL #like he does his little step twirl move and falls to his knees screaming lmao #the other part of me wants to baby him is in shambles lol but happy he doesn’t keep it bottled up 🥲#he and doppo would have a blast together i think lmao

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 11 months

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why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry #when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister #but so easy literally everywhere else #I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person #I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents.#even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home #but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now #Lu rambles #can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn #bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister #bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me #the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW #that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone #so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to?#and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!!#ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy #media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate #to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually #get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes #them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they #would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too #detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch #things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and #can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the #aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea #is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character #or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about #BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often #walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably?#maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity #vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode #And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers #intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally #everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me #that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc.#ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference #towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations #hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally #boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying #things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus #ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of #why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world #and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all #characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then #I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol

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catastrxblues · 4 months

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#okay i actually want to rant a bit 😭 - not advised to read this because then you might get brain damage #because oh my god??????? weird #(was going to write an entire diary but nvm here’s the gist of it)#basically i was coming home from this chem thing right #i used the train as i always do when it comes to this. and because the new station just got a shiny renovation it is now connected to the #new mall in front of it (we have two now it’s an addition to the first one). and guess what 😭#i had to go in and get to the first mall because my dad said he’d just pick me up at the lobby instead of the bus stop in front of #the station entrance right.#and when i was on the elevator going up on a call with my mom about food orders 😭#the guy i used to have a very very VERY heavy crush on in middle grade got to the elevator leading down just as i was on the landing 😭😭#and i had to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating so as he was descending and his back turned to me i examined the back of his head and i’m #pretty sure it was him. curiosity killed the cat i should’ve remembered that shit because you know what my stupid ass did??#i was already walking away on my way to cross to the first mall but then that curiosity got the better off me and i steppedonto the elevato #leading down 😭 and followed him out into (apparently) the fucking bus stop #oh my goddd I JUST REALIZED this is my the one moment help #except i don’t think he recognized me because i was never even friends with him lmao. wrote tons of poetry about him ✅#actually had one proper conversation with him ❌#i was delusional and kept alone with my thoughts living in my head do not judge me #but seriously even though i don’t really care about him anymore this would’ve been (unfortunately) SUPER important to middle grade me #she would’ve taken it as a sign or something and write like five pages about it #and i just keep thinking about that #funny how things change because IF YOU KNEW how many credits and exaggerated compliments i gave him in my old journal #oh you would’ve laugheddd #like i used to SPEND SO MUCH TIME pondering over him it’s so 😭#i used to have an oc and i think i based it on my idea of him and then i think that idea of him was even the reason i started to TRY to #write poetically. and i used to relate every taylor swift love songs to him (esp the ones in debut lover and rep and fearless) IT WAS SO #FUNNY LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW #i think he did see me though. i put on this act as if i was searching for someone confused and then (my go to) pretended someone called me #and then i whisked off as if to find that someone #i’d like to think i look pretty cool though. not because of anything (def not my looks because i was SO TIRED from that extra chem lessons

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heyitsmemel · 3 months

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...... mehhhh personal complaining in the tags (tw illness)

#bro I'm on day 17 of a crazy severe mystery illness and I'm so fucking gagged #like my lungs have hurt for over two weeks I can barely walk more than five minutes before getting exerted #and can't have a conversation without wheezing #tumblr have you ever been so sick or incapacitated that it causes you to rethink everything #like i have been so severely sick that it's inspired me to drastically change my entire life #i feel like my body and a large part of me has died and i've metamorphosed jesus i'm a phoenix bitch rising from the ashes #yea is this normal? have other people experienced this?#like an illness so severe that it just makes you go ok ok #this isn't working #the old ways aren't working #the universe really knocks you so far on your ass sometimes to bring you where you need to go next #but god fucking damn #i just want to breathe and be able to walk down the god damn street #ok rant over #hang in there sick tumblr #maybe delete later im just sad girl today #i just want to go on my hot girl walk and do my hot girl dancing but my body won't let me :(

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ponderousorb · 2 months

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Sephiroth reading

#sephiroth #ff7r #final fantasy vii #the last unicorn #I imagine angeal trying to turn Genesis' infodumping about Loveless into a conversation #saying “what's your fav book sephiroth”#and he doesn't want to say “the Last Unicorn” bc he is aware Genesis will laugh that it is for children or smth #so he just says “I don't feel like telling you.” and walks off awkwardly like always #this is me drawing things I was too crappy at drawing to do when I was a kid lol

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eddis-not-eeddis · 20 days

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Don’t cater to freaks and creeps.

#Had a weird conversation about dudes walking around with their shirts off *ick*#The gent I talked to maintained that it was obscene for fat men to walk around without shirts on but that it was okay for “regular” men #If a fat man walks around without a shirt it is apparently disrespectful to women #My position was that ANY man walking around without a shirt on is disrespectful to women #We don’t wanna see that #And the ones who do want to see that are weird and or creepy #-_-

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abooklover · 9 months

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Deleted Cornetto scene 10/10. Now Matthew just the rest of deleted scenes. Or you know what, just to make it easier, release the 3 hour version. Please and thank you.

#Henry walking in on the conversation incredible #Alex grabbing Henry’s hand and taking the photo iconic #Alex taking most enormous bite of the ice cream talking with his mouth open and smiling like the idiot he is and Henry’s disgust hilarious #for research purposes I want to know how many times they had to do that take of Taylor eating the ice cream #just to see how many Cornettos they had to go through #like you can’t tell me at least one of them didn’t crack up during that scene and they had to re film it #not to be dramatic but I think I might die if we don’t get the campfire scene in full #rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #rwrb deleted scene

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lesbiansanemi · 3 months

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Still thinking about the conversation I had with my roommate’s bf like two weeks ago where he said he was scared of furries but also didn’t even know enough about furries to know they were called furries I had to figure out wtf he was talking about. The urge to become a full blown furry now. Despite having all the makings of a furry I for some reason have never ended up enthusiastically becoming one despite my best efforts. Well. With spite as my motivator here we are. Where are the furry artists, I’m commissioning both my tentative ideas for my fursonas. I’m inviting all my friends who are furries over and we’re gonna work on making fursuits. I will also make this a hostile living situation for you AND I will get the added bonus of doing fun furry stuff

#during the same conversation he very heavily insinuated he thought I was a cringey weirdo in the most derogatory sense #by making fun of most of my hobbies and calling ppl who liked them cringey weirdos #but then going ‘oh! oh no! I don’t mean you though you’re fine you’re like Normal 😀’#so. you know.#anyways last night I walked in the door from work #and the entire apartment smelled like weed and there was a dog barking at me and he was watching tv SO loud #🙃🙃🙃 sensory overload immediately in main part of apartment so I hid in bedroom all night #I’m also irritated cuz I’ve had convos with my roommate about weed FOREVER ago #literally my one ask was if he was gonna smoke he do it outside so the apartment doesn’t smell like it #idc if you smoke and you are free to do edibles/dabs/whatever inside just pls don’t smoke joints #I hate the smell and it’s bad for the animals #so why is it 🙃🙃🙃 all of a sudden happening again as this guy moves in 🙃🙃🙃#anyways about to become a revenge furry and also suuuuuper fucking cringey just to bother/embarrass him #esp cuz he said he wants to have friends over all the time which I’m also FUDJDJSJSKSK about #but sure! invite friends over!#I’m gonna sit in the living room with my giant easel and draw furries and listen loudly to vocaloid while they’re here 🥰#I’m gonna have a great time! you won’t tho lmao #kaz rambles

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