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#dinna's asks
elllisaaa · 11 days
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the new hoon x bookworm reader post made a new thought pop up in my mind seconds after i read it…. eli why are you so good at writing this and HIM overall i can’t bare the emotions anymore 🥺
hoon fucking you against a bookshelf in the public library 😳 you came just to return some books and pick up new ones but he got bored from waiting for so long for you to choose new titles… just imagining his quiet voice whispering the filthiest things at your ear while you bite on his shoulder to repress your moans 😔 (and what if he’s wearing those glasses? you know which ones)
i think the reason is just that i need him so bad i'm projecting all the things i want him to do to me lmaoo i love everything that comes out of your mind whenever it comes to him i could pay you for sending me these asks, i'm not kidding.
SUNGHOON is always willing to drive you to the library because as stated before, he's obsessed with you and your undying love for books. he finds it so cute how you always come up with a little list of the books you want to pick up to not get distracted and spend hours between the shelves.
you always tell him that he can stay in the car and that you're not going to take long, but sunghoon insists on coming with you every time. except that today, you didn't make a list because you didn't have the time. which means you will be wandering around to get your books for a long time. you feel a little bad for your boyfriend this time because he had things to do today - he even still has his glasses on - but you can't just choose your books in two minutes, right ?
sunghoon follows you everywhere you want to go, walking slowly behind you. and his eyes cannot help falling onto your ass with every step you take, your cute little skirt moving along with the swaying of your hips. and he's starting to get frustrated because he didn't expect to spend his afternoon only able to look at you and not touch you.
he knows it's wrong, but he also knows that it's what you like. so when you walk into an alley where there is no one and that is far enough from everything else, sunghoon corners you against the nearest bookshelf, pressing his whole body against your back. you can feel his hot breath against your ear, and his semi hard on against your ass. "hoon ? what are you doing ?" - "you're taking too long doll, so let me have my fun too okay ?"
you can only nod weakly because how could you say no to your sweet boyfriend ? his hands quickly drag from your waist to your asscheeks, kneeding the flesh under your skirt. he adored them, it made it so easy for him to fuck you everywhere he wanted. "you're so good to me baby, always wearing your little skirts for me, right ?" - "yeah, know you like them." - "that's right, you know i do. so you're going to let me fuck you there ?" - "yes, please…"
that was all sunghoon needed to turn you around and kiss you hungrily, smearing your lip gloss but he couldn't care less when you were pulling him even closer to you. he tried to get away to take off his glasses but you grabbed his hands to stop him : "no ! keep them on, you look sexy with them." a smirk played on his lips immediately, he loved when you were so blunt about your desires. sunghoon grabbed you by your thighs, lifting you from the ground, his boner pressing on your wet cunt still covered by your panties. "yeah ? i should wear them more often if it means you'll let me fuck you everywhere then."
and you did let him fuck you, let him wrap your legs around his waist, push your underwear to the side and ram his cock into you. sunghoon is grabbing the bookshelf behind you like his life depends on it and making it shake, and it doesn't matter if it alerts someone because he knows you like the thought of being watched. you're holding on him tight, head thrown back as you struggle to repress your moans.
"you're such a slut, letting me fuck where everyone could see you. but that's what you like, yeah ?" "fuck, your little cunt is squeezing me everytime someone walks by." "you hear how wet you are doll ? you're so fucking dirty."
sunghoon keeps whispering the nastiest things in your ears, and everytime a word leaves his mouth, it becomes harder to quiet down your noises. you can't even answer him because you feel like you might cry out some begs for him to make you cum. so you bite his shoulder instead, soaking his neat white shirt with your saliva. "you're making a mess doll, everybody's gonna know what we did if you keep biting me like that." but in the end, sunghoon's loves it, and when he paints your cunt white with his cum, he struggles to keep his voice down too. and he loves it even more when you go to register your books, with his cum staining your panties, your hair still a little messy, and your gloss on his lips stretched out with a proud grin.
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nostalgia-tblr · 1 year
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I feel like anyone who's about to embark on attempting to type out a character's accent phoentically (at least as well as one can with English) should probably stop for a moment before they get going and ask themselves, "How would I, myself, feel about a fic where the one character who sounds like me had their speech written out like this and every other character just got their dialogue left in standard spelling?" I feel like a lot of people would tone it down a bit, at least, if they'd done that thought experiment first.
(Anyone who answered "but I don't have an accent!" isn't allowed to write out anyone else's accent, ever. This rule may seem harsh but you need it. Really, you do. Because you've never had anyone treat your accent as abnormal or comical or wrong, so you really don't know what you're inflicting on others here.)
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ciriparipa · 3 months
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That post werent lying. Having a crush does feel like youre a hard-boiled detective with a tough case to crack
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shotmrmiller · 4 months
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A/N: I simply had to join on writing for John 'just the tip' MacTavish so. Here goes. Unedited, its horny its explicit yall know the deal. It was supposed to be a drabble and i got completely carried away. got me out the writing slump tho. any mistakes please ignore. CBF!Johnny because I say so.
Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x F!Reader
WC: 1.6K
Flipping through Netflix, you hear a rapt at the door. You turn to look at your dad, who gets up quickly as if expecting someone. 
“Johnny, my boy! I’m glad you could make it! Had me thinking you forgot all about us. Come on in!” Your dad pulls Johnny in for an affectionate embrace that he returns immediately.
“Och, yer aff yer heid! As if I could ever forget my second family!” Giving your dad a final pat on the back, Johnny steps back. “Now where’s my girl?” 
Lifting the hand holding the remote, you call out. “Present!” 
Johnny almost trips over the coffee table, rushing to you. He doesn’t wait for you to stand up, just snatches your wrist and lifts you for a hug— your socked feet dangling by his shins. With his strong arms wrapped around you, he pulls you close, nuzzling his face against your neck. “Missed ye, bonnie,” he murmurs, “missed ye so much.” 
As you exhale a wheezy breath, you tell him, “I love you too, Johnny, but I can’t breathe.” One last squeeze, and a squealed “Johnny!” he finally relents, setting you down. 
Hands resting on your shoulders, his striking blue eyes lock onto your face, flicking across your features, as if he was re-memorizing what you look like. His intense gaze rushes blood to your cheeks, but don’t shrink under it. It wouldn’t be the first time your best friend teases you like this. “Somethin’ on my face, Johnny boy?” and bat your lashes at him, “I know I’m staggering to look at, but now you’re just being shameless.” 
He lets out a huff, a small smirk gracing his lips, and mumbles, “Don’t I know it.” Your taunting smile falls off your face at that. What? Before you can even ask him what he means by that, your dad calls him into the kitchen. 
“Johnny! Come get a beer, it’s about to be movie time!” Without breaking eye contact, he answers him, “Aye! Comin’!’ and with a finger tap to the underside of your chin, walks away. Heart pounding against your chest, you head towards your bedroom to get a blanket, hoping the little walk calms the butterflies in your stomach. 
What?
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The movie is playing, and Johnny is curled up behind you on the reclined sofa, roughened palm resting on your thigh, occasionally squeezing it. You’re mortified at the slight arousal you’re feeling just at being caressed by Johnny. Johnny. Your best friend. Who has consistently had girlfriends, who will never look at you that way. You’ve never thought of him that way either, granted, but that’s what makes this so embarrassing. Maybe you’re ovulating, biology simply reacting in the presence of a virile male, or something. 
And then you feel the unmistakable bulge of his stiffening cock, faintly pressing against your arse. Gods. Heat radiating off of your face, you bite your lip and try to discreetly wiggle away, for his sake and yours. However, Johnny seems to disagree with your thoughts because he moves his hand from your thigh to grab your hips in a bruising grip, fingers digging into your hipbones, forcing you to be still.
He leans into your ear, warm breath tickling your cheek and softly whispers, “Dinnae move, hen,” and sluggishly starts to rock his hips, erection now firmly rubbing against your sleeping shorts. Johnny’s movements are imperceptible, nonexistent underneath your blanket. Not that it would matter, because the movie is reaching its climax, and all eyes are glued to the screen.
But your mind is solely focused on Johnny— the heat of his hands scorching against your skin, his prominent length hidden underneath his pajama bottoms grinding on you. 
“Lift yer leg a wee bit, hen.” Keeping a watchful gaze on your parents, you silently plead that they won’t notice as you hide your compliance under the guise of trying to make yourself comfortable. Once settled, you lowered your leg and had to bite your tongue with force, to keep the moan from slithering out of your throat. 
His cock, bare, right in between your thighs. Like warm velvet wrapped around steel, thick, heavy, tip pushing against your core with every minute thrust. Johnny moves even closer, arm tight around your waist, hand sliding into your bottoms, heading straight towards your soaked, swollen clit to rub feather-light delectable circles on it.
“I’m gonna stick just the tip in, a’right? I swear,” he says in a hushed tone, as he pulls back to lower the waistband of your shorts to rest on your upper thighs, “just,” he thrusts once, “the”, again, “tip.” and his leaking head slips into your hole— pushing it in until your walls flutter around it. 
“Ye feel incredible, squeeze that tight pus—” your dripping cunt cuts him off, drawing out a hiss of surprise from him. His subdued voice in your ear is so seductive, so bewitching, that you can’t help but clench around him. 
For most of the movie, Johnny languidly thrusts into you, truly keeping to his word. Just the tip— teasing you, making you drip onto the sofa, muted squishy, gooey noises coming from under your blanket, and you couldn’t be bothered by any of it. Flared, ridged head catching on your slippery lips with every drag of his cock. You’re drooling on your hand that covers your mouth beneath the snug blanket— struggling to hold back the mewls and whimpers threatening to escape. 
All of a sudden, Johnny mutters, “The movie’s about ta end, close yer eyes and keep completely still. Stabilize and deepen yer breathin’, hen.” Without hesitation, you do as he says, body going limp in compliance, the only tell-tale sign of your excitability being the rapid pulsing of your jugular on the delicate skin of your neck. 
The TV is turned off, and the living room goes completely silent, apart from the deafening sound of blood rushing in your ears. Johnny behind you feigns quiet snoring, so believable that if it wasn’t for his throbbing cock still at your entrance, you’d think he actually fell asleep.
Your dad’s poor imitation of a whisper cuts through the quiet. 
“They’re asleep, let’s just leave them here.” Footsteps shuffle as they tip-toe around you both, and as they get farther away, Johnny slowly moves his hand to cover yours, truly weighing down on it. The instant their door clicks shut, he uses his other hand to pick up your leg and throw it over your shoulder, and thrusts hard, deep, until his bollocks are flush against your arse. Your nails claw at the hand over your mouth as you scream, your gummy walls stretching against his assault— a burn so exquisite, pleasure teetering on the edge of pain, achingly delicious, it sends tendrils of ecstasy directly into your veins.
He lets out a guttural moan, one only you could hear, private, intimate. “It’s about time ye let me have this sweet pussy, hen.” One vicious thrust that punches the air from your lungs and rattles the sofa, and then another, when he finally speaks again. “Fuck, we hae ta do this when we are nae restricted, hm?” His hips start a slow rhythm, long, unhurried undulating thrusts, and every time he bottoms out, he grinds his pubic bone on your clit, the tip of his cock giving your cervix a lewd kiss. Every time he reaches the entrance of your womb, it feels like he wants to go in further, to go past the dead end, and your cock drunk mind only thinks about how you want him to do it, too. 
“Yer slobberin’ all over my hand, hen. S’that good, is it? Oooh, I ken it is. Only the best fer my girl, hm?” He hisses through clenched teeth, “I’m fuckin’ close. Come f’me. I’m not comin’ until ye cover my cock with yer cream, leave a white ring at the base.” His hips have been moving at the same exact speed he started at, not a stutter in his pattern. As if him fucking you into a puddle of arousal wasn’t taxing on his part. 
Then he does something different, something that threatens to snap that coil in your lower tummy, and along with it your sanity. He starts giving shallow thrusts, never pulling out more than halfway, and makes sure to rub against your clit, giving you that heavenly friction you need. It has you delirious, fervent, and you start moving your own hips, uncaring of how you must look.
Johnny moves his thumb down to your nub, drawing tight, precise, merciless circles on it, and you are thrown over the edge— more like kicked off by a spartan kick from how gut-wrenching your orgasm is ripped from you. Your pleasure is so acute, so powerful that there are needle-like pricks on the shell of your ears. Your body shakes underneath Johnny, pussy throbbing and pulsing with the aftershocks of your blinding climax. 
Drool escapes under Johnny’s palm, dripping down your cheeks and into your hair as you fall back, going completely limp, utterly spent. Finally getting back some coherency, you realize that Johnny’s gone soft inside of you, also drained, as he catches his breath holding himself over you. He removes his hand, uncaring that it’s sticky with your spit, and noses your cheekbone, nudging you to slant his lips over yours, curling his tongue against yours. He swallows the pathetic mewl you let out and presses one final kiss onto your lips. 
“I’ve missed ye, hen. I’m so happy to be here, with ye. Let’s move to your bedroom, and in 10 minutes, I’ll give ye a proper fuckin’.” 
Your eyes close shut as you let out a resigned but elated sigh. 
“I love you too, Johnny.” 
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@rookiesbookies and forgive the tag but i had you in mind too @brewed-pangolin ill never do it again unprompted
part 2
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peachesofteal · 5 months
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Light on - single mom/neighbor fic Simon Riley/female reader - Johnny POV
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Something is up with Johnny’s LT. 
His usual post mission behavior is nowhere to be found. Instead of being relaxed, relieved, and maybe a bit cheeky… he’s silent. Anxious. Fingers clenching together again and again, his knee bouncing occasionally until he catches Johnny’s inquisitive eye, and it stops. 
When they deplane, Price goes straight to his office as always, and instead of stopping to agree on the pub of choice for the unofficial debrief, Ghost goes straight to the showers. 
“What’s up with him?” Gaz asks, eyeing the lieutenant’s retreating back. Johnny shrugs, fingers scratching through the overgrown length of his mohawk. 
“Dinnae know.” But he’s going to find out.
“Oi, LT!” He’s managed to corner Simon in a hallway, freshly showered, Ghost and his mask neatly backed away in the bag slung over his back. “Ye skippin’ out on us?” He pulls up short, turning on Johnny with a bored expression. 
“Got somethin’ I need to take care of.” 
“That’s more important than going to Patty’s?” Patty’s is the pub of choice for the 141. It’s right down the road from base, closer to the city, an easy jumping off point for all of them to get home afterwards. Simon never skips Patty’s. It’s their ritual. “What’s going on wit’ ye?” 
“Nothing.”
“Ye’re a liar.” 
“It’s-“ Simon’s phone dings and Johnny practically buffers. Simon never gets text messages, the only people he talks to are on this base right now. He watches Simon check the message, lips quirking to the side, almost lifting in a smile. “It’s nothing, Johnny. Just my neighbor.” He says, absentmindedly, more focused on typing out a reply to whoever is on the other side of the screen. His neighbor? Simon talks to his neighbor?
“If it’s nothing, come to Patty’s.” He’s being stubborn, he knows… but he can’t help it. He loves a puzzle. 
Simon sighs. 
“Such a pain in the arse, MacTavish.” 
“But ye love me.” 
It doesn’t take long for him to put it together. 
“She has a bairn?” 
“A little girl, Emmaline.” Johnny gapes at him. 
“Ye held her?” 
“Just before I left.” Simon makes that face again, the one that nearly looks like a smile, eyes squinting above the balaclava, the face Johnny’s only seen a few times, once or twice even directed at himself. “Gave her a bottle.” 
He looks happy. He looks… proud.
“Ye care for them.” Johnny breathes, giving life to the obvious. 
Simon doesn’t respond for a while, just stares down at the cigarette in between his fingers, the half-downed glass of whiskey. 
“She's doin' it all on her own, taking care of Emma, herself. Tough little thing." He takes a drag, eyes fixed on something, on nothing, out in the street. "It makes me want... things. Things I- I never thought I could have."
"A family." Johnny surmises, words soft, and Simon nods.
"With them."
And in the dim, gritty yellow glow outside the pub, Johnny sees his LT in a brand-new light. 
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thelaisydazy · 2 months
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Firefighter!Simon Riley x Reader - Locked Out
“Riley! Bad dog!”
You don’t have time to look up before a familiar German Shepherd barrels into you, knocking you to the ground and sending your keys skittering across the sidewalk. 
You sputter as the dog licks your face before a hand grips Riley’s collar and pulls him off you. You wipe the dog slobber from your face and look up expecting to see Simon, instead you see a broad man with a short mohawk, attempting to reign in the overexcited dog. 
“Sorry leannan, dinnae mean fur ‘im tae get away from me,” he said as you started to get back on your feet. 
“S’alright,” you say, brushing off your pants. You give him a quick once over. He's wearing jeans and a tight fitting navy T-shirt with the fire department’s emblem on it. 
He gives you a lopsided grin. “Lek whit ye see, bonnie?” He teases. 
Your face feels warm as you attempt to stutter out a response. 
“I'm only joking, lasso,” he chuckles at your embarrassment. He glances at the bakery door. “Gett’n off yer joab? Ye must be that wee thing the LT acts so sweet aboot.”
You stare at him for several moments, having little idea what he's saying. “I uh… I was just getting off work yeah,” you finally say. “Bakery's closed for the day, sorry.”
“Oh naw, I wasn’t look’n tae buy anyfing,” he said warmly. “Jus’ walkin’ Riley ‘ere.” He stuck a hand out. “Ye can call me Johnny.”
You shake his hand, giving him your name as well. “It’s nice to meet you,” you say. “I don’t mean to rush off, but I need to get home.” You stick your hands in your pockets, finally registering that your keys weren’t in their usual place. You pat your other pockets before looking around at the ground. 
“Whit ye look’n fer?” Johnny asked. 
“My keys,” you say. “I think I dropped them when Riley ran up.” Your eyes scan the sidewalk before spotting the storm drain by the curb. Johnny seems to read your mind as he walks over and looks through the grate. 
“Wee charm oan it?” he asks. 
You groan. Of course your keys had fallen into the storm drain. How were you supposed to get into your apartment now? Your landlord was away on holiday and he hadn’t left a spare behind. He wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night. You’d just spend the night in the bakery, but you’d already locked up for the night and no one would be back until morning. 
Johnny seems to sense your distress as he claps you on the back, knocking you from your thoughts. “Ye can stay wi’ us at th’ station house,” he suggested. “We can even get yer keys oot th’ drain fur ye.”
“I don’t wanna be a both-” you start to say but are cut off by Johnny. 
“Dinna fash!” he beamed at you. “ Nae trouble at all.”
Before you could protest, Johnny wraps a muscular arm over your shoulder and starts to guide you back to the station, grinning to himself as Riley trotted happily next to you. Simon was going to love this.
---
As a treat, here's a second one today <3
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bunnyreaper · 3 months
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you don't have much of a choice, forced to marry john mactavish to keep yourself safe. luckily, he will look after you, even on your wedding night.
(18+/MDNI, historical wedding night fun)
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the door closing behind you has you trapped in the room, the situation. your only comfort is that you know john mactavish to be a thoroughly decent man, despite the swirling rumours of his scottish barbarism and foul highlander ways. 
you sit before the mirror, staring back at the beautiful hair and makeup done for you by the ladies of the castle in preparation for your nuptials, as john makes his way over to you. he gently, hesitantly, rests his rough, large hands on the exposed parts of your shoulders, and his new ring sparkles in the soft candlelight.
"john." you sigh your new husband's name, your eyes fluttering shut as relief floods through you at his touch. the night will bring with it challenges, but you can't think of a better man in all the highlands to be wed to.
"i know, bonnie. i wish it were nae under such circumstances." he whispers, expression soft as he squeezes you gently, forcing the tension out of your shoulders. he leans down, pressing the gentlest of kisses to the top of your head. "we can take it slow, we've go' all night." 
"i know, thank you." you bring your hand up to hold his, your matching ring so close to its counterpart. you squeeze back his hand in the hopes of offering some semblance of comfort in return. whilst john is a warrior, physically and mentally strong, but you've at least seen him vulnerable enough to know there's something eating at him too--and your instincts cry out at you to soothe him too. "it's not... for lack of wanting you. i want you very much. i'd just hoped we could ease into it." 
once more, he brushes the top of his lips across your head, before he slowly coaxes you to your feet. his fingers trail from your bare shoulders, down the silky material of your sleeves until they come to grasp at your waist. 
"we will. ill take care of ye." he whispers, voice beyond soft. 
you wish you could tell him you'll take care of him, too, but the tightening of your chest makes it tricky to usher forth even a whisper. you turn in your newly-wed husband's embrace, embracing his thick, muscular arms and rubbing them soothingly. 
it's you who initiates the kiss, the first one since you said your vows, and were tied together in matrimony. it's soft and gentle and sweet, at least at first. as your lips tremble against john's, and his grip around you tightens, the embers within you roar to life--hot like the coals in your chamber's fireplace. 
the passion that rips through you both consumes you--sensual, tender touches yet tinged with overwhelming need. one kiss turns to another, turns to desperately gripping at each other's finery until it falls away, revealing parts of yourself previously unseen to the other. 
you'd seen your now-husband shirtless many a time, seen the celtic knots inked into his biceps, his clan motto on his chest--but in the dim light and knowing you get to touch him freely, you start to take on a new appreciation. 
his hands touch reverently across each new piece of skin you bare to him, or he bares to himself, as he tears away your clothes like the hazard they are. it's not long before he has you completely revealed to him, and he kisses you breathless in response to the overwhelming love and lust inside him. 
he maneuvers you to the bed, laying you down with such care before climbing atop. when his hard cock brushes against the top of your mound, you cry out in both pleasure and trepidation.
johnny must easily sense your discomfort, as he pulls away from you with a concerned, caring look in his eyes, along with a reassuring smile on his lips. "dinnae worry, i'm nervous too." his knuckles brush softly over your cheek.  
"you are?" you ask, voice soft as you stare up at him. 
"aye." he nods, his smile turning a little awkward, a little bashful. while you've seen him burdened and raw, you've never seen him nervous. "ive no' been wit' a woman properly before." 
his admission stuns you. john mactavish is a gorgeous man inside and out, respected in his clan, and yet has a reputation for being good with the ladies. it never bothered you, as you knew truly he was loyal to his core, but such a confession from him takes you entirely by surprise.
"not from lack of opportunity, surely." you try your best to be light-hearted, to put him at ease. your own nerves, trepidation and inexperience with the act were a given--but john's could be perceived by others, and likely to him, as a threat to his masculinity. 
he trusted you with it regardless. 
he huffs out a laugh at your gentle teasing, dipping down to press a few kisses to your neck.
"appreciate yer kind words. but ah, i ken i wanted to save myself, only give tha' part of me to ma wife." the words cause something to surge through him, his hips bucking as the head of his cock nudges against your clit and sends you both reeling. your eyes flutter shut for a moment, and when they reopen, the look in john's eyes is completely feral. 
he pins you with a look you couldn't turn away from if you tried, and his hand gripping your chin leaves no room for debate. "marriage of convenience or no', you are ma wife." 
his wife.
the words alone make you shiver and quake, but your husband takes the opportunity to roam his hands down your body, lower and lower until thick fingertips find your aching clit. 
you're completely transfixed as your eyes drop down, watching the way his rough hand works against your softness, pulling pleasure from your body that aches for release. 
hot, open-mouthed kisses start to accompany his touches, working their way down your body until his mouth is hovering just inches away from your slit--taunting you with what's to come. 
you squirm wildly, trying to chase the wet heat of your husband's mouth and to finally have it on your clit, but he simply smirks, remains steadfast and steadies you with a firm grip. 
"please." a whine rips from your throat, as you've never felt such need before in your life. you thought you'd felt riled up watching john fight, work the horses, chop wood--but seeing him between your legs ready to eat you like a man starved drove you completely wild.
as a dutiful husband, he couldn't deny you any longer, lips settling against your most sensitive spot, pressing tender kisses to you. 
it feels too good, and yet still not enough. your fingers thread in his hair, try to tug him in deeper. "please john, I just need you... inside." 
he seems to ignore your pleading, mouth sinking back into your folds and immediately sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. then he pulls away for a moment, staring at your pretty lips in awe before he growls. "the lady consents, but i willnae sink my cock in ye until ye weeping for me too."
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ceilidho · 5 months
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prompt: IKEA soap/reader fic. PART 1. tags: dubcon
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You duck behind a stack of boxes when you hear Johnny come whistling into the warehouse.
He shouts your name out somewhere off on the other side of the warehouse, voice echoing through the building. You keep absolutely still, fingers clamped around the clipboard that’s pressed close to your chest. Even your breathing slows, open-mouthed so as to keep it almost soundless. It’s strategic. You’ve gotten good at making yourself invisible back here, practically melting into the stack of boxes. 
A minute or two goes by with repeated calls of your name, echoing from different parts of the warehouse like Johnny’s making the rounds. Searching for you. He’s probably been looking around the store for ages, with his track record. Someone must have let it slip that you were assigned to inventory today instead of being out on the floor. 
You only let out a sigh when it’s been long enough that any reasonable person might have given up on trying to find you in the loading dock.
“Hiding from someone?” a deep voice asks from behind you.
Your gut all but self-ejects. When you turn around, he’s standing there in the same bright blue shirt that you also wear. His is stretched tight across his chest though, like it’s a size too small. You wonder sometimes if it’s on purpose. It’s hard not to let your eyes wander, but by now you’ve trained yourself to keep your eyes level when speaking to Johnny. 
“Nope,” you squeak. “Just…you know…counting. Counting boxes and…stacks.”
He laughs, loud enough to make you startle. It’s far too enthusiastic, like you told a particularly funny joke instead of stumbling over your words and you still don’t actually know if he finds you funny or not. 
“Cool,” Johnny says, taking a step closer to you. The clipboard doesn’t feel sufficient enough to put any real distance between the two of you. “Thought I could maybe come hang out with ye back here. Dinnae want ye to feel lonely.”
“Nope, not lonely at all. Totally peachy. Actually glad I could catch a break from…everyone.” You take a step back.
He follows you, another step forward. “Aye, dinnae worry, I get what ye mean. Some of the others—” he whistles, “—right buggers. Glad to catch a break myself as well.”
A bead of sweat rolls down the back of your neck. “Aren’t you supposed to be…out in the front? I, uh, don’t want you to get in trouble with Jeff—”
“Ah, Jeff’s fine, kitty, dinnae worry about me,” Johnny coos, sounding pleased as punch. He takes you at face value instead of reading into the set of your jaw and the way you keep inching away from him as he gets closer to you, convinced that you genuinely in your heart care about whether he gets written up or not. “They fuckin’ love me, ye ken? Think he wants ta take me out for lunch tomorrow, but told him I’d only go if he invited ye as well.”
“Oh. That’s nice,” you whisper instead of screaming. You’re doing that a lot these days. Talking through the scream bubbling behind your front teeth. 
“Would ye want ta then?” he asks, suddenly in your face, three quick steps bridging the gap between you in barely a second, hardly enough time for you to blink. You blink and it’s just Johnny, in startling definition. Thick eyebrows and scar across his chin, the bridge of his nose perfect like he’s never broken it before. “Grab some lunch with me?”
“I, uh…I brought my lunch from home.”
“It’s a’right, I’ll buy it for ye, hen. Dinnae need ta waste your money.” Sometimes when he talks to you, he gets like this, fervent and almost desperate. He seems only half aware of it. “Ye like that mediterranean place nearby, right? Seen ye go there once or twice; wanted ta tag along, but dinnae want ta alarm ye.”
“You saw me go there?” you repeat. 
“Aye, happened ta glance out the window when ye were on your lunch break. Back before management changed my break time. Cheers for that as well because it was really startin’ ta bother me, ye ken? Not being able ta eat with my favourite coworker.” 
You never know how to respond when Johnny lets on a bit too much about how he feels about you. Sometimes he slips up and it comes rushing out, a big spool of thread unwinding in front of you.  
“Yeah, well…I don’t know about today but maybe…” you say, trailing off. There’s a danger in just brushing him off, you feel. 
“Tomorrow then,” he decides, grin still splitting his face. “I’m no’ on the schedule, but I can drop by at your lunch break and go with ye. How’s that sound?”
“Well, you know…it sounds…” He’s close enough now that if you lean forward, you’ll faceplant in between his pecs. Despite everything, you have to slightly fight the urge. Sometimes you think it’d be easier if he weren’t so absurdly gorgeous. It doesn’t make any of his actions okay, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour just because he’s pretty, yet still he pulls you in somehow, magnetic. “It sounds—you know, actually, I think Jeff wanted to talk to me about something, so if you don’t mind—”
Johnny tries to say something, but you manage to duck around him and scurry off, disappearing into the stacks of boxes before pressing forward until you burst out the main doors out of the warehouse. It leads to a hall that goes towards the store, but you haul it to the women’s washroom instead. The one place he can’t follow you inside. 
In the washroom, you can finally breathe. Resting your hands on either side of the sink, you look into the mirror where haggard eyes with deep circles underneath stare back at you. 
You flinch when one of the toilets flush and the stall door opens, another coworker stepping out. 
“Did I hear Johnny outside?” she asks, taking the sink beside you to wash her hands. You nod, still tongue tied. “He really follows you everywhere, huh?”
For a second, your shoulders relax. “God, I know, he’s always just hovering—”
She cuts you off, sighing dreamily. “You’re so lucky. He’s so hot, it’s unreal. I can’t believe he works here, like that’s insane. I’d kill to have him as obsessed with me as he is with you.”
“He’s—he’s not into me, he’s just…you know, he just hovers.”
The water shuts off. Your coworker shoots you a dubious look, almost mocking. “Yeah, alright. Sure. Not into you. Not like he hangs off your every word. You don’t have to be humble—we’re already jealous. It’s like rubbing it in when you pretend like it’s totally normal.”
You slump, defeated, when she leaves without drying her hands. It’s moot to try and commiserate with anyone. They don’t see him the way you do, not for who he is. Your coworkers love Johnny; you’ve seen someone genuinely fistpump after being scheduled with him. 
They don’t see any of the weird shit though. They don’t see the way he insists on walking you to your car well into the evening after a closing shift together. They don’t notice the way Johnny laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. 
They’re never around to see him ask if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. They’ve never seen him beg management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch. 
Sometimes you look at him and think, this guy should not be in the Appliance section of a big box store. Johnny should be on the front cover of magazines, in commercials for toothpaste, acting in Hallmark movies, or maybe hand modelling for obscenely ornate watch companies that cost the equivalent of a mortgage—not handing out free samples of sliced cheese.
That was then.
It starts like this: an overeager sales associate who butts his way to the front of the line on your first day. 
You think at first that you’re golden. It seems like a sweet deal—an easy enough job, maybe not what you went to school for, but still something to pass the time and not too backbreaking. Plus, the guy shaking your hand and chatting up a storm in front of you is making you melt inside. He’s easy on the eyes—all bright smiles, effortless charm, either just brushing or exactly six feet, and built. Broad shouldered and lean. 
Johnny’s a model employee as well—knows the handbook inside and out, and shows you the ropes on your first day along with the assistant manager giving you a tour of the store, which is helpful because there’s at least three floors that you could easily get lost on. He walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude, and you find out early on that management loves him because of his frankly incredible sales record. 
(And you get it too; you can’t imagine anyone looking into those gorgeous blue eyes and turning him down.)
He's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some “Jobs for Vets” program that they just rolled out. The guy can also stack things on a shelf like no one's business, products lined up with military precision (hence the ex-military status). 
All in all, you can’t help feeling like for once in your life, you didn’t draw the short stick. 
Then one day, you’re alone with Johnny in the breakroom early in the morning before the store has opened yet and he turns to you with a wide, boyish grin and says apropos of nothing, “Named my fleshlight after you.”
You think your brain skips a couple tracks like a record player. You rewind and replay what was just said to you. There’s no two ways about it—you must have misheard him. Of course you did because surely your coworker of two months didn’t just look you in the eyes and say with a sweet sunshine smile that he named his sex toy after you. 
He doesn’t laugh, just stands there and smiles while stirring sugar into his coffee. He takes it black. You take note of that because the brain still has to work when the mind shuts down momentarily, so you use it instead to catalogue things around the breakroom. One of the motivational posters hanging near the door is hung a bit off-centre. The fluorescent lightbulb on the far side of the room is dimmer than the others. Johnny’s eyes have a little light spot in them like the tip of an ocean wave.
“Excuse me?” you ask, dumbfounded. Your voice sounds hollow even to you.
“I named her after ye,” he repeats, not a trace of shame in his voice. “Used ta not have a name at all, but figured since I say it so much when I’m enjoyin’ her, she might as well share it with ya.” 
He stares at you after saying that, letting it hang in the air. Your brain chooses that moment to come back online and all it can do is load that image of Johnny home alone with his fleshlight, toes curled in his sheets and the muscles of his legs straining as he moans your name. All you can do is give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. 
Then, something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, laughing and clapping you on the arm before wandering off to the men's apparel section. 
It leaves you reeling for the rest of the day, sure you imagined it. It recontextualizes a few things for you though. He’s always been on the handsy side, verging on inappropriate, but skirting just enough around the edges of it that you usually brush off Johnny’s weird behaviour. Chalk it up to annoying little brotherly tendencies. You know he has a few older sisters anyway; you figured it was just how he related to women in his environment.
Not so. 
It escalates after that initial escalation. Not that things started off on an appropriate note, but at least before you could rationalize most of his quirks.
Now it’s this: his hand on your lower back during work hours when you’re busy helping a customer and he sidles up next to you, pinkie brushing so low on your back that you worry for a second that he might slip it down the back of your pants. Lifting you up by the hips whenever you have a hard time reaching something on a shelf instead of just reaching up and grabbing it for you. A complete misuse of his height. He digs his fingers into your sides and never lets you go right away when he puts you down. 
“Aw shit, bonnie,” he coos when you complain about it hurting you. “Dinnae mean ta hurt ye. Want me to give ye a little massage in the breakroom?” 
You learn quickly that there’s no point in complaining about his behaviour to anyone. You can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. He's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet, they say. They defend him almost viciously; the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you to stand there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. That you'll just have to teach him better. 
There’s not much you can do besides grin and bear it. You can hope one day that you'll get transferred; you don't have much hope for him being transferred. Not with how endeared he is to management.
When you finally open the door, ready to leave the bathroom and get back to work, you nearly scream when Johnny lurches off the wall across from the bathroom door where he’s been leaning. Waiting for you.
“C’mon, hen,” he says, all teeth. “Lemme walk ye back ta work.”
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whinesandwhimpers · 5 months
Text
damn do i love a good "boyfriend is too drunk to recognise his gf" fic
You get up to go see your boyfriend, Soap, seeing how he's alone at the bar, meaning Simon must've stepped out for a smoke. You miss his company.
You're stunned when he pushes you away when you wrap your arms around his waist, which is odd behaviour for the clingy Scot who lives for physical touch with you.
"Jo—"
"I dinnae want ye, Lass!" He interrupts, wobbly stepping away from you.
"What? Johnny—" You take a step closer to him, confused.
"Ach! Away with ye!"
You give him a confused look but his eyes just burn into you with something unfriendly. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment and you feel the sting of rejection as you turn around and hurriedly walk back to the others, slipping into the booth opposite Gaz and Price.
"You okay, Sweetheart?" Price asks, pausing his conversation with Gaz.
You swallow, ignoring what just happened, and smile at them both. "Yeah, I'm alright... What are you two talking about?"
-
It's later in the night when Soap and Ghost return to the booth. You don't make eye contact as Soap squeezes in beside you, Ghost on his other side.
Soap nudges your shoulder and leans in closer to you, whispering over the tables conversation, "Sorry, Lass, I didnae mean to be so rude before."
"It's okay." You sigh, unsure why he pushed you away.
"I'm sure you're a right catch but I've already got my woman."
"...you do?"
"Aye, looks a lot like you actually."
A lot... like you. You have to hold back your laughter. No fucking way. He thinks you're someone else.
"Oh does she?" You inquire, lips pulling up into a smile, to which he nods. "What's she like?"
"She's like nobody else. Ye know angels?"—You nod—"that's her. An angel. Looks, personality, her laugh, oh her laugh,"—You laugh—"Aye, it's like that."
"Uh huh... I bet it is... She must be really lucky to have you."
"I'm the lucky one."
You both didn't notice but the rest of the team had stopped talking and was listening to your conversation.
"Johnny," Ghost interrupts, making Soap turn to him. "That's your fuckin' girlfriend beside you, you muppet."
"Wha—" Soap whips his head back around to you and looks you up and down. "It's you? My Angel?"
You bite your lip to hold back laughter and nod. Before you can say anything else, he grabs the sides of your head and smashes his lips to yours in a hungry kiss. You stifle a moan at the feel of his tongue in your mouth.
The rest of the team groans and you briefly hear them leave the booth, your focus more on the man that just proclaimed you an angel.
He pulls away, far too soon you think, and rests his forehead against yours, dopey smile on his face.
"I've missed you, Bonnie."
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konigsblog · 7 months
Note
Heya! Sorry if it's stupid ask, but I have read your post a while ago that you're Scottish (If I'm wrong then I'm sorry and I would feel embarrassed.🙃) And I want to write Sergeant Johnny Mactavish and Captain John Mactavish x reader. And since they are also Scottish I want to write/them say some Scottish lines, or just words. So I was hoping what usually Scottish people will say, I don't want to mess up. I only know aye, shite and lass but that's much about it.
Sorry if my English is bad.
And I wish you an great day/night/evening!😊
SCOTTISH PHRASES AND WORDS TO USE WHILE WRITING FOR SOAP MACTAVISH.
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— yes! i am scottish, so here's some phrases and words i hear, and say, in scotland and what other scottish people usually say. :)
bonnie = that means calling someone pretty, like bonnie lass means pretty girl, since lass means girl. i'd say this is usually aimed towards girls, like a man would call a woman a bonnie.
lad means boy, like a friend usually. lads is plural ofc, and you could use it to say soap and the lads, or his pals. — “me and the lads.” (lads isn't scottish, it's british - which obviously being scottish means your british, but anywhere in great britain you'd hear this. as well as the one below.)
pals means friends, friend is a pal. — “thought he was yer pal.” = “thought he was your friend.”
dinnae = don't, it's how we say it in our accent. “dinnae do that.”
dae = means do, again, how we say it in our accent. “dae that for me.”
“haud yer wheesht” means shut up, like be quiet.
blether means talk, you might call someone a blether if they gossip or they're a chatterbox. — “stop blethering.”
crabbit means to be annoyed or grumpy. — “why ye crabbit?”
aye means yes. — “aye, dae that.”
ken means know. “a ken that.” not the barbie doll, it means know :) — “a ken that.” means “i know that.”
eejit means idiot. — “yer' an eejit.”
“ah umnae” means im not. ‘ah’ means im, or i, ‘umnae’ means not. it's hard to explain, just our accents though.
‘peely wally’ means pale. (heard this too many times towards myself, im pale as paper..) — “yer' lookin' a bit peely wally.” honestly, i don't think you'd need to say this that often in fanfics with soap, but maybe if someone is ill, you'd say that.
“gonnae no do that” means don't do that. “gonnae” means gonna, so like “gonna not do that” you'd say to someone if they did something you didn't want them to do.
“yer bum's oot the windae!” you're lying, being dramatic, or over exaggerating something.
“dafty” means stupid. — “yer' a dafty.”
VIDEOS TO WATCH FOR HELP AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE ACCENT:
it shows the accent differences between a scottish person, an english person, and an irish person.
https://youtu.be/Z-WliS0HHF8?feature=shared
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elllisaaa · 12 days
Note
this is so sunghoon </3
you're so real for this sweetie, i couldn't agree more and you know how much we love the sunghoon x bookworm agenda in this house so here we go again 🤭
SUNGHOON who always feed on your obsession for books and literature, spoiling you with a new one every chance he gets. he loves how sparkly your eyes become when you talk on and on about the new book that you finished, and he loves to see you so passionate about it, he could literally listen to you during hours.
what he does not like though is how he asked you to get ready for your date night almost one hour ago and how you're still in your pyjamas, laying in bed with your book. when sunghoon asks you for the ninth time when you plan on starting to prepare yourself to go out, you claim once again that you just want to finish this chapter. and when he asks you one more time and you answer the same thing again, sunghoon cannot take it anymore.
"hoon ? what are you doing ?" you asked, confused, as he climbed on the bed, settling between your legs and spreading them. you try to push his hands away but his grip is too strong.
"i'm teaching you a lesson, since you're too smitten by your book to listen to me." your voice and the protestation you were about to let out die quickly in your throat, replaced by a loud moan when sunghoon fingers pinch your clitoris harshly through the material of your panties. "you're going to read out loud for me doll, and don't dare miss a word or i'm not letting you cum."
you knew better than to answer him directly, only nodding your head at him as he pulled your panties off your body. you were only wearing one of his shirts now, while sunghoon was already in his pretty outfit, hair neatly done. and the way he looked at you through his lashes when he dived into your cunt had you moaning uncontrollably.
but you still tried to follow his commands, reading each word carefully however very slowly. with each passing second, your voice was shaking more and more, your hands barely holding your book up.
"hoon, please…" your plea forced your boyfriend to detach himself from your pussy, his lips swollen and covered in your juices. but that didn't stop him from landing a harsh slap on your cunt, making you cry out and almost drop your book. "i don't think your book says that babydoll. stay focused" and the smirk on his face is just as annoying as it's attractive. you want to wipe it out and at the same time, all you want is for his mouth to be back on you. and he does just that, gaining another noise of pleasure from you.
and you really try your best, but the way sunghoon is eating you out like a starved man while pinning your hips down to the mattress is driving you crazy. you can feel his cocky smile against your folds when your speech starts to get slurred, far too fucked out to form a coherent sentence or even see the words on the page in front of you anymore. "i-i can't hoon ! need to cum, please, please ! i'm- aah !" - "you're so miserable with only my tongue, it's cute."
tears begin to gather in your eyes when he starts teasing you with his fingers too, the pleasurable feeling ultimately becoming too much. you didn't even make the effort to read anymore, your vision too blurry to see anything in front of you. you tossed it to the side, taking a hold of sunghoon's hair instead, only able to whine and beg at this point.
"you're such a brat, but whenever i touch you, you lose all your attitude, isn't that funny doll ?" sunghoon loves how you're only able to moan in response. "come on, cum on my tongue since you've been a good girl." that was all you needed to let go, messing up his perfect hairstyle but sunghoon couldn't care less as he reminded you once again how much better than your little books he was.
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eilidh-eternal · 2 months
Text
You learn the truth
Part of the Metanoia series | Part 1 | Masterlist | Ao3 |
| SingleDad!Johnny x f!reader | 18+ MDNI | Fenella has a thick accent | off-screen death of non-major characters | sorta horror-esque metaphors for emotions/feelings (drowning, rotting, the usual) | your desire is a living thing and it's eating away at you | reader is, once again, Going Through It |
Thank you @gemmahale for reading this monstrosity and helping me fine-tune it <3
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“Sergeant. How copy?” 
Simon looms over Johnny in the team room, sidled up to a sagging couch that’s seen better days, and when he lifts his derelict gaze from the battle-worn photo in his hands he’s met with pinched brows, sloped granite, and folded arms. Worry, in the staid manner he’s come to expect from Simon.
“Solid, Lt,” he answers dutifully, devoid of his usual ebullience, and with a tenor forged from damascus and flint. 
Simon rounds with a languid gait to the opposite cushion, stained with something dark, iron-rich and oxidizing in the loose weave, and lowers himself down beside him. Holds out a gloved hand. Johnny obeys his silent command and relinquishes what might just be the most valuable thing he owns. Deposits it gingerly in his waiting palm.
“How’s she doin’?” he asks, smoothing out a crease in the portrait.
“Started school this past year. Whole head taller than last ye saw her. Still carries that damn bear ‘round the house, too.” Takes his tea the same as Simon, according to Isobel.
“Better that than the bloody mask.” 
“Aye. Better, that,” he agrees, and a ragged breath saws out of his lungs when he sinks back into the sun-bleached nylon.
“And your pet?” Simon passes the photo back and Johnny tucks it reverently back into his breast pocket, folded neatly and pressed close to his heart—where it belongs.
“Isnae ‘mine’,” he drawls, somnolence roughening his voice despite the afternoon sun pouring in through the concrete window. “Stubborn thing, too. Hasnae been answerin’ her phone.”
“That what’s got you mithered?”
“Worried,” Johnny corrects, and Simon folds his hands across his midsection, settling back alongside him with a throaty grunt and the echo of artillery fire in his bones, popping and cracking beneath the weight of his battle-worn body.
“All the same, innit?”
“Not with her. Not when she…” He toys with a clip on a canvas belt loop, rough fingers tracing the burnished amalgam of iron and carbon, and for a moment, he feels your skin. Metallic beneath his touch, chilled by the wind, precious and perfect in his hands. “You an’ her are cut from the same cloth. Dinnae care much for sharin’.” Even when you should.
You keep him up at night, itinerant thoughts always finding their way through the morass of post-operative lassitude back to you. Wondering what you fill your days with. If you still linger by the window in the placid hours of the morning with a steaming, ceramic mug warming your hands, marking the passage of time by the melting of the ice. If the final snow of spring has laced the wild cherry trees along the row with pearl-drop blossoms and an almond sillage. If you’ve seen the picture he managed to take from the ramp mid-flight, on transport to Laswell’s station, mareel lea of clouds undulating beneath a star-flecked velarium. 
Thinking about all the things he said, and the things he didn’t, before he left. Burning with the memory of you, pressed flush against him; soft and warm and safe in the lambent halo of his arms. You felt like his in that moment, and he lies awake, breathing in char and soot from the moreish conflagration ravaging his chest, staining his throat a fuliginous shade of black with each serrated exhale.
He might have told Simon—if the big bastard weren’t rattling the ballistic glass in his sleep. 
You’re standing in the pasta aisle, staring at the selection of boxed macaroni, and you’re drifting further and further into an endless, atramentous night.
Funny, you think, when the sun and stars live next door. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. None of it was supposed to be this way. Stars don't fall from the sky. But meteors do. And now… now you have to crawl out of the crater at the bottom of a pitiless ocean, navigate the upheaval of silt and abysmal detritus, and search for the surface without the gilded hand of the sun to guide you.
You should have stayed away.
Isobel would choose the box with the cartoonish bear. Johnny would make a joke about bears liking porridge, not cheesy noodles. You toss it in your basket with the rest of your ready meals, soggy cardboard already weeping condensation, and battle the undertow to the queue at the till. 
You should have left them alone.
“Beautiful day, today is.” They don't know that the stars have gone nova. That the ossified remains of the Earth creak and settle in the brumal gloaming, caliginous and desolate. They can’t hear you, pounding on the ice, desperate for apricity in a nuclear winter. 
Now you’re the one who’s alone.
“It is,” you lie, and the effluvium of ozone burns your lungs. Cauterizes the hemorrhaging, pulpy mess you call a heart, languishing in the frangible cage of your ribs.
Free divers can hold their breath for 10 minutes at a time. You wonder how long you’ll last trapped beneath a frozen mantle.
It snowed again, the morning Johnny left—pillowed the earth in anticipation of your fall—but several weeks of sleet and freezing rain has turned the pavement into a patchwork of slush and ice that mimics the glacial floes in your veins. Your wellies don’t have the same grip as proper snow boots. Crampons are better suited for the climb ahead. Neither are very practical for a quick trip to Tesco, though. Would look quite odd, standing on ice cleats in the pasta aisle.
The same can’t be said of the car park. With your canvas tote clutched close to your side, you pick your way through fissures of lingering snow. Opt for trickling streams of runoff rather than attempting to balance on the slick pavement. It’s slow going. Tedious. The lingering wind of last week's squall whips at your exposed skin. Lashes and bites, pumping a gelid venom into your veins, and the blackening, gangrenous bits of your mangled heart feel numb. Numb enough that you don’t immediately recognize the car parked next to yours. Twin sets of eyes, stratified ice, rich with moraine, watching from the windows. You don’t realize how the world suddenly feels too bright, staring up through a polynya, until you glimpse an aureate complexion and charcoal hair, silver-streaked with ash and tied up in a loose pony, emerging from the driver's seat.
Fenella MacTavish is a star in her own right. Has a gravity to her that demands to be felt and heard. The pull of your name on her lips drags you through the hole in the ice and dangles you there. Bait for something bigger. Hungrier. And she does it all with a friendly face, a cordon of coronal light woven into a beaming smile—aimed at the fallstreak hole that’s been punched through your sternum. 
“Ye’re a fair way from home, lass.” The divisional line of the Baltic and North Sea, from the feel of it. Or maybe somewhere off the coast of Shetland. It doesn’t really matter. Dread still percolates down your spine and you blink against the sudden shock of the sun emerging from the clouds, lurid rays burrowing into your retinas.
“Better prices for produce on this side of town,” you hedge, and she looks pointedly at the sharp protrusions of box corners against canvas, faultline of her brow erupting with skepticism. 
“Thought Tesco’s all have the same prices, more or less,” she reasons, and you watch the way she leans against the D pillar, arms folded and braced against a hiemal wind that tousles loose strands of hair about her face. A similar image of Johnny from several weeks ago effervesces to the surface of your memory and you shove it down. Drown it in the brine that spumes on roiling white caps. 
You answer with an indolent shrug and make to step around her, slipping your hand in a fleece-lined coat pocket in search of your keys, but like the other MacTavishes you’ve come to know, Fenella has a propensity for prying questions.
“Have ye heard from Joh—”
“No,” you say before she can speak his name, gloved fingers curling around the worn canvas strap across your shoulder like it’s a lifeline. Trying to pull yourself away from the hole in the ice, procellous waves lapping hungrily at your feet where she dangles you from artfully strung words. It’s not technically a lie. Even if there’s a novel's worth of texts from him that have gone unopened and unanswered. “I have—”
“Come have dinner wi’ us,” she volleys back. Guts the wretched desiderium curled at the back of your throat, backed into a corner and hissing at anything that comes near. Coaxes the dolorous, indignant want festering in your chest into the light. 
You want Johnny and his ribald jokes. Want him to look at you the way he looks at Isobel when they walk together. To hold your hand inside the pocket of his coat when you both forget your gloves on the way to pick her up from school. Remind you to leave work at the door. Shut your laptop and close the manuscript. Give yourself a break and come watch some mind rotting show with him and Isobel on the couch. Curl up in a tartan blanket, woven with his family's colors, and pretend you aren't falling asleep with your cheek pressed to his shoulder. Want to bake with Isobel and chase Johnny from the kitchen. Read to her on the nights he’s away, out at the pub on Main with friends from work. Be there, sleeping on the couch with Isobel, waiting for him to come home from assignment.
You want, and the teratoid it’s become circles with the porbeagles. Has teeth and a consciousness all it’s own, shredding through sinewy trepidation and tearing through every layer of adamantine flesh that you wear like armor. Stripping you down to the bone and sucking on the treacly marrow.
There’s no reason why you can’t. Johnny’s said as much. Made it patently clear when he all but tucked you into his jacket with him and let the warmth of sun-chapped lips bleed into your algid skin that night on your stoop. But there’s a picture in the livingroom of the townhouse next to yours that clamors each time you pass it. A ghost, bound to this plane by molecules of ink on photo paper, materializing at your back and whispering words of doubt from the umbrage. Telling you to leave. They aren’t yours to have. 
You feel rime creeping up your legs, briny sea spray turning denim stiff in the darkening carpark. The sun is sinking, varicolored sky unfurling against the plumage of clouds and an austere snowscape, and it casts shadows across the city, long as the list of reasons you shouldn’t.  
“Tomorrow night,” she presses, “roads ‘round here get a tad dodgy after dark wi’ the ice an’ all.” Her eyes drift to the ice surrounding your feet. Stare for a moment, like there are memories trapped there. 
You’ve found your keys. Found them several minutes ago, and have been toying with pressing the panic button. Manufacturing some way out of this conversation. Your toes are numb, too. Whether it’s from standing in a river of runoff or Fenella’s snare, swaying precariously and staring down into the gaping maw of repressed desire, you don’t know. But you do know that you can’t stay here. Can’t keep staring at this woman who looks like Johnny and pretend you don’t want to know everything about her. Him. Them. That you don’t want to go to dinner with her and Isobel because you miss them.
“Tomorrow,” you begin, “I have a meeting. Have to stay late.”
“Tomorrow’s Friday,” she counters. “Bell stays up late to watch Still Game wi’ me. Sure she wouldnae mind waitin’ an hour tae have a friend join us fer some stovies.” You can see Isobel in the car behind her, twisted around in her car seat to watch the two of you, and your heart lurches in your chest. Gnashes and snarls at the web of lies you’ve woven around it, glittering trip wires disguised as a safety net.
Don’t get too close. Don’t get attached. They’re not yours. This will never be your family.
‘Go!’ it wails, and her eyes beg you to stay.
When you finally find your footing again, you take a step towards your car. “I’ll think about it.” Move carefully between cracks in the ice. “See if I can get the meeting moved up. Isobel should keep to her schedule.” Keep your eyes up. Don’t look at the monster she’s dragged out of you.
Fenella nods like you’ve agreed. Either chooses to ignore your feeble attempt at a polite refusal or twists your words into reluctant acceptance as she fishes her phone from her vest. Hums as she taps away at the screen, and you feel the echo of it when your own phone vibrates in your pocket beside your keys.
“We’ll see ye tomorrow night, then.” She smiles, wide and machiavellian, before she severs the snare and watches you plummet. Slips into the warmth of her car as you plunge through the hole in the ice and it freezes over once more. Chum in the water.
Staring at Fenella’s address on your phone screen effects a sinking feeling in your stomach. Drags you down to that abyss again, only this time, you aren’t alone. You weren’t alone before—not really. You’d just denied the truth of what was clawing its way through your chest. Couldn’t face what its existence means.
You stare until the screen goes dark, and then stare some more, until the oven timer chimes and you wade through your kitchen to silence it. Produce a hot pad from an adjacent drawer to pull a cardboard tray of lasagne from the rack, and nearly drop it when the chiming starts again. 
Your phone vibrates on the table behind you, Johnny’s name lit up across the screen. Calling.
‘Won’t be able to use my phone a lot, but I’ll call when I can.’
The awful thing in your chest shudders in answer.
Every muscle in your body tenses. Aches to open the line. Grab it with both hands and pull. Drag yourself from the depths of your self inflicted misery and bathe in the ardent warmth of his smile. You want to talk to him. Want to hear that gravel rich timbre and your name rolling off the escarpment of his tongue.
But should you?
Should you even try to be something you aren’t? Something you never thought you could be. Would want to be. Should you—?
“Bonnie? Ye there?”
Oh, fuck…
“Yeah… I’m here,” you breathe, and it’s not salt water but kerosene that fills your lungs. Burns with self-loathing and penitence as it commingles with ozone. “Johnny, I—” Your voice pitches, teeters on the precipice of trepidation and want, and crumbles away with the marl.
You’ve been ignoring him. Ignoring how you feel. Absconding yourself in your abnegation and rotting on the ocean floor, too afraid to swim. To look for the light. Afraid of falling even further. 
And all of that want comes pouring out of you now. Out of the hole punched through your chest when he left. In a briny deluge down the berm of your cheeks when he shushes you. From puncture wounds, perfect impressions of serrated teeth, sunk to the bone. Not letting go.
“I know, sweet girl. I know,” he soothes, palliating and emollient, but the breath you take scrapes against your throat, coarse with sand and silt. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Johnny.” You thought it would hurt, admitting it. That the jaws would clamp down and you would scream and kick and fight. You were so heavy, full to the brim with want, that you mistook it for that leaden, sinking feeling. Thought it was drowning you.
“Bell said she saw ye today. That ye’re goin’ to visit her tomorrow?” There’s hope in his voice, nestled in the colluvium that tumbles from his lips and settles at your feet.
“Yeah,” you decide then and there. “I am.”
The MacTavish home isn’t what you thought it would be, limewashed stone tucked at the end of a winding, gravel lane, cradled by the tussock and sedge of a heathland and perched on the slope of a shallow vale. Double paned windows cast a genial glow onto the drifts around it, tenuous peaks capped in flakes of gold, and a scintillant lamp floods the walkway, salted cobble, free of the ice your tires struggled to navigate on the narrow streets of Old Kilpatrick. The door is a bathic blue, nearly the same depth as the lacuna between stars on a moonless night, and a boar-head knocker greets you, impeccably polished silver despite its exposure to the elements. Your hand halts halfway to the ring that dangles from gleaming ivory tusks and hangs surprised between yourself and the refulgent star across the threshold. Everything about Fenella and her home is bright.
She ushers you inside, pulling you by a handful of billowing cashmere into the foyer, and promptly defoliates you of the flailing garment and congruent scarf wound around your neck, taking your bag and hanging it from a brass hook beside your coat. “Bell, come an’ look who’s here!” she calls down the passageway, and a brontide reverberates through the hardwood and soles of your shoes. A storm rattling the foliage of a coppice in the thick of Summer. 
Isobel shrieks, effusive in the manner of her excitement, when she rounds the corner from the doorway to the left and catches sight of you, teddy forgotten and swiftly discarded in favor of launching herself down the wide hall. You rock back when she connects with your leg, sinking her hands into layers of chiffon, pleated at your waist and cascading to the buckles of your flats around your ankles.
“Ye made it!” She wears a t-shirt many sizes too big, sleeves billowing around her and the hem rolled and tucked up inside with a knot that presses against your shin. The cracked, peeling numerals 141 are barely visible, on her left side just below her breastbone, and her surname is printed just below, peaks and plateau of the M and T rising above the cloud of your skirt bunched up in her arms. Her hair is loose, curls tumbling just over her shoulders in an unruly race to the wide crew-collar of her shirt, and the smile she beams up at you is blinding. Disorienting. Burrowing into your brain in search of a home. Looking for its carbon copy, etched in a memory of Johnny, sitting on a wooden chair in a kitchen that mirrors yours.
A timer chimes, echoing off smooth plaster painted with a whisper of green, sage and seafoam, and an eclectic collection of frames maps a rich family history from the front door down the length of the passageway,
“That’ll be dinner,” Fenella announces, a hand coming to rest between your shoulders and another delving into her granddaughter's curls. “Bell, show ‘er where tae wash up.” She herds you both forward, and your stomach knots with budding nerves.
“Can I help with anything? Setting the table?” you offer, attempt to make yourself useful, and she tuts her disapproval.
“Nae, jus’ wash up wi’ Bell. Dinner’ll be on the table when yer done.” She slips by the two of you, disappearing down the passageway and to the right while Isobel fits her hand into yours and leads you through the door she came from.
There’s a sideboard adjacent to the washroom, and while Isobel scrubs the days mire from her nails you cast your attention to the portraiture above it. Echoes of a convivial home, filled with family during the holidays, outings in the city, and school portraits. Johnny’s service portrait hangs front and center above a shadow box, pin board nearly full with brassy medals and gaudy ribbons. Years younger and clean shaven, he looks boyish and bright-eyed, even with the army drab and neutral expression. But there's a familiar tilt to his mouth, permanently skewed in an inveterate smile, and a whisper of laughter in the gentle slope of his shoulders, not yet filled out with the corded muscle that’s become so familiar. Several inches to the right and many years later, he appears as you know him now. Dark shadow of stubble, interrupted by the stitchwork that created the twisting scar on his chin, and— 
The bulk of his body is curled around a young woman, dark cloud of curls concealing her face, buried in the hollow space beneath his jaw, but the swell of her belly is obvious in her profile. Isobel’s mum. 
“Yer turn!” Isobel lilts from behind you, but you remain rooted to the polished hardwood, staring at a ghost, and wait for the rebuttal.
They aren’t yours. This isn’t your family. 
Budding nerves blossom in the loamy pit of your stomach, creeping along spiculated vines towards the moldering gaps between your ribs, and your heart stutters in its crumbling cage alongside the starving, pacing creature you call want. 
Forget them. Leave.
You wait, and wait, and wait—and it never comes. The ink doesn't wail, the frames don’t rattle, and there is no voice whispering over your shoulder.
There is a darling girl, tugging at the fabric of your skirt and the mess of snarled threads around your heart, picking apart the tangled web you’ve been lost in, and she guides you through the fray to the washroom basin.
“Ah spoke wi’ Johnny this morn’,” Fenella begins, reaching across the table to wipe at the broth dribbling down Isobel’s chin. “Said ye finally had a chance tae talk.”
“Oh. Yes, we did.” You don’t tell her how Johnny did most of the talking, took your sniveled apologies for avoiding his messages and buried them in the colluvium. Caught you, from a world away, and lowered you gently to the earth when you fell apart in your kitchen. “He sounds well.”
“Aye, he does. Havnae heard ‘im like that since Kirsten died.” She leans back in her chair, half-finished bowl of stew all but forgotten. “Those two… och, they were a right pain in my arse. Where one went the other followed, an’ made twice the trouble for their Mam.” 
The revelation glues to your brain, tenebrous and viscid. 
“Has he told ye about ‘er, his sister?”
“She saw the picture in the passageway,” Isobel chimes in, babbling around a mouthful of roast potato.
Their Mam. The picture in the hall. Johnny’s sister. The ghost next door.
“He’s mentioned her once before.” You drag your spoon through cooling beef and potato, breaking up the congealed, starchy mass, and try to do the same with the memories that tangle themselves together in your head. “He told me about his wife; that she passed two years ago. I— He never said his sister passed as well. I’m so—”
“His wife?” Quicksilver brows fly towards the inky peak of her hairline, bewilderment etched in the incredulous slash of her mouth, lips drawn tight. “Johnny’s ne’er wed, lass.”
Your hand stills but your heart rattles, throwing itself against baleen bars, and the pinpricks of teeth, gnawing at the fallstreak hole in your sternum, threatens to crack your ribs open at the dinner table. “Isobel’s mother—”
“Is his sister,” Fenella finishes for you.
“Then, Johnny… Why didn’t Isobel’s father raise her?” 
Fenella casts a furtive glance in Isobels direction and finds cordierite eyes staring back at her over an empty bowl, gleaming with a startling discernment. “Stay here,” she motions towards you, and plucks Isobel from the chair between you, balancing her on a broad hip. “All done, Bell? Let’s get ye settled in the den, hm? With Ghost?” Isobel clutches at her shirt for balance, dips her chin in agreement, and Fenella takes her from the dining room, leaving you alone with the savage things in your chest.
Sister. Never married. Niece.
It percolates through gray matter. Drips from the roof of your mouth, nauseating and saccharine, and when you swallow you feel the drop in your stomach like an iron weight. Wilted petals and desiccated vines withering. A febrile joy laced with bile bubbling up your throat; sickly cocktail of absolution and compunction. 
There was never a ghost trapped in a picture frame. No headstone inscribed with the MacTavish name and the words ‘Loving Wife and Mother.’ Every poisonous word whispered in your ear came from the devil on your shoulder, sowing demurral and rooting it in reproval, and the roaring in your chest, thundering pulse in your ears, screams yes.
The muted playing of fanfare from the TV cuts through the cacophony in your head, and Fenella’s voice allays the discordance. “She knows more than she lets on.” A sigh filters through her nose with a ‘hum’ and she slides into the chair Isobel occupied previously. “She misses him. Misses him like a wean misses their Da.” Misses him the same as her Mum. Gone somewhere she can’t follow, a place kept secret from her, with no way to know when he’ll be back. If he’ll come back. 
The unpleasant realization of that very real possibility scrapes down your spine, whetted talons screeching against corrugated bone.
“Johnny’s the closest thing Bell’s ever had tae a Da,” she elucidates. “They used tae work together, ‘fore Johnny joined up wi’ the Task Force. Passed selection the same year.”
“She—Kirsten—met him through Johnny?” She nods, smiling, but the curve of her mouth has a mournful edge.
“She did. Johnny brought some lads round for Hogmanay one year. Took his sister out wi’ ‘em tae the pubs. Said she took one look at Aaron MacAndrew handin’ ‘er brother his own arse at darts and knew she’d marry ‘im. Did so, the following year. Hardly made it another ‘fore she told us she was havin’ Bell.” The memory of her daughter brightens Fenella’s eyes. Bottled lightning, bouncing off maldivian blue glass. “We were all excited. ‘Specially Johnny; couldnae wait tae meet his niece. Brought home gifts for Kirsten and the wean from every tour and couldnae go to ASDA wi’out buyin’ another teddy or romper.”
“Did Johnny and Aaron tour together?” She nods solemnly.
“Few weeks after Kirsten had Bell they left. Got their orders a month earlier, an’ Aaron… He didnae let Johnny tell Kirstin ‘til after she had the wean. Didnae want her tae stress. 
“They were tae be gone three months, so Kirsten stayed here an’ I helped wi’ Bell. Went a while ‘fore we heard anythin’ from Johnny. Said things got hairy. Had tae go dark. Stay hidden. We didnae know why ‘til he called again an’ said he was comin’ home early, but naw Aaron. Naw ‘til he was the only one tae come off the plane.”
Laughter trickles in from the den, pooling in the hollow silence that yawns between you and Fenella. “I…” you try, but every word you string together with the next frays around the knot in your throat. 
“She was angry wi’ him for some time. Aaron had died weeks before he called, an’ he kept it from ‘er. Didnae want tae tell her on the phone. Wanted tae be there when she found out.” She shifts her weight in the chair. Leans forward to fold one arm over the other on the table. “Johnny took it hard, too. Losin’ his mate an’ then his sister. None of us saw her for the better part of a year after he died, an’ Johnny took the blame for it. She wouldnae see him. Didnae come ‘round for holidays. He thought if he made ‘imself scarce she might come out her shell, so when he heard from a Captain he used tae serve under, ‘bout the Task Force an’ the longer assignments that came wi’ it… He packed ‘imself up an’ off he went. Was another year ‘fore they finally saw one another. Never knew what was said between the two of ‘em, but they were close as ever afterwards. Right up ‘til she passed.”
“And she listed Johnny as Isobel's next of kin.” Fenella nods, bottled lightning limned with a silvery tide. “I… I’m so sorry. About Kirsten, Aaron, bringing it up— I shouldn’t—”
Despite the tears tracking down her cheeks, Fenella shakes her head. Smiles, and reaches across the table to clasp your hand in hers. “Ye dinna need tae apologize, lass. I should be thankin’ ye, really.” You try to pull away but her hand tightens around yours.
“Thank me? I haven’t—”
“Done anythin’? Lass, ye’ve done more than ye know. He talks about ye. Every time we go tae lunch. It’s ye, an’ Bell, an’ how excited she always is tae see ye. How he thinks she might fancy ye even more than he does. And he smiles. You brought that back.”
And fuck, if that isn’t everything you hoped for. To know that he smiles for you. Because of you. It alchemizes the iron in your stomach to lead, bathed in acid and leeching an acrimonious guilt into your bloodstream.
You ignored him.
Pulled away, just like his sister did.
And Fenella is thanking you. 
Midnight settles over the MacTavish home in a mantle of crushed velvet and embroidered stars. Fenella insisted that you stay after dinner. Spend some time with Isobel in the den.
That was several hours ago.
Curled in the corner of a chenille couch, you sit with Isobel pressed to your side, head pillowed by the masked bear she clutches in her sleep.
“Someone’s finally tuckered out,” you muse, brushing an errant curl away from her face. “I should head home. Let the two of you rest.” Fenella stands from her chair beside the couch and maneuvers around the coffee table in the dim light of the TV.
“It’s late,” she rebukes. “I’ll naw have ye out at this hour. Stay the night. Ye can take yer rest in Johnny’s old room.” Fenella croons as she peels Isobel out of her cocoon of blankets and hoists her up into the cradle of her arms. “C’mon Bell, let’s show the lass where she’s stayin’ the night.”
“The roads really aren’t that bad, I— I should be able to make the drive just fine,” you insist, but the admonition in the gaze she levels you with quashes any further argument.
You follow, albeit hesitantly, from the den up a narrow flight of stairs, and hope that she can’t hear the tremulous rattling of your breath behind her. She deposits Isobel, teddy and all, in a colorful room, shelves overflowing with picture books and bins piled high with teddies and toys, tucks her snug beneath a hand-sewn quilt and leaves her with a peck on the cheek to guide you into the room across from hers.
She rifles through a chest of drawers, scratched pine and chipped lacquer, stood up against the wall opposite a wrought iron bed, draped in purples and greens that bring thistle to mind. “Ye can wear some of Johnny’s old things. I’d give ye somethin’ of mine but, well… I think ye’d be more comfortable in this.” Tracksuit bottoms and a pullover. She leaves it on the bed as she moves to where you hover near the doorway. “Washroom is just down there, on the right,” she directs, pointing to the far end of the hall. “An’ I’m just across the way if ye need anythin’. See ye at breakfast.”
With you and Isobel settled in your respective rooms, she ambles off to her own, door clicking shut softly behind her, and you’re left staring at Johnny’s clothes. On Johnny’s bed. In the bedroom where he grew up. Wondering how—if at all—you’ll be able to sleep tonight.
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charliemwrites · 4 months
Text
Part 6 of SpecGru (former 141) reader; Simon’s perspective again.
Content: brief implication/mention of reader having idle suicidal ideation. In the way of “I don’t care if something happens to me” kind of way. Happens during a phone call between Price and reader’s new captain.
Please be careful and safe. If someone needs this part summarized, let me know. I love you all very much <3
Here’s the truth of it: Simon never meant for you to leave.
You were too close, that was true. He did everything short of actually hurting you to drive you away. Treated you like a plaything, took your kindness and patience and feelings for him for granted. Left you cold and alone in a hospital bed — unable to see you pale and half-dead all because you were so goddamn headstrong…
That had put it all in vicious perspective. That he couldn’t keep you safe; knowing him, following him, would surely end with you on a metal table rather than a clean hospital bed.
In hindsight, he knows it was as much for his own sake as yours, trying to force that emotional distance between you two. But he just… he can’t do it. Not again. Not you. You’d break him.
But he never meant for you to leave. Not really.
Maybe take an extended solo mission. Or just break off the romance of it all. Maybe you’d stay away for a while, give him time to sort out his feelings and shove the useless ones back into the pit they belong in.
He didn’t expect you to be gone as soon as you could stand.
“You said yourself, Simon, she’s too young and reckless. The 141 can’t afford to babysit her,” Price explained.
“She nearly got you killed, LT,” Soap pointed out. That was before he found out that you were gone for good, not just on disciplinary leave.
And when he did…
“No. No, she dinnae…” he wiped a hand down his face, eyes going a bit glassy. “Why? Why would she… didn’t we mean anythin’ to her? I know we were all a bit on the rocks but ‘s just cos she gave us a scare…”
Gaz took it the hardest, showing up most morning with red-rimmed, puffy eyes. He tried texting you a hundred times; they never went through.
He and Soap begged Price to reconsider, saying that he had no right to kick you out without consulting the rest of the squad.
“I just told her that she should consider transfer,” Price corrected, steely.
“Same fuckin’ thing, ain’t it?” Soap raged. “What else ‘s she gonna do when it’s her captain sayin’ it?”
And Price had finally crumbled, his stubbornness giving way to a clearer head and regret in the aftermath. Simon knew how he felt; had been haunted with the same gut-wrenching feeling for two weeks by that point.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have…” he wiped a hand down his face. “I’ll call Laswell, see if she can put us through.”
As it turned out, your new team had deployed you almost immediately. You were gone, relying on teammates you barely knew, and there was no guarantee when (or even if) you’d be reachable again.
When Laswell put Price through to your new captain instead, he scoffed down the line.
“That how the great John Price sends off his own?” He gruffed.
“I take care of my own,” Price replied, narrow-eyed.
“That’s explains it then, doesn’t it?” A shifting on the other end. “Well, she’s one of mine now, at least; better off that way I think.”
He was on speaker phone with the SpecGru captain. Shouldn’t have been, but it wasn’t a confidential call. So the rest of the 141 was there, vibrating with the effort to stay quiet.
Simon balled his hands into fists, arms crossed. He didn’t trust anyone with one of theirs. No, you belonged right there with the rest of the 141. They could keep you safe, keep you alive.
“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Price growled.
“Let me just ask you this, Price. And only because I need to know how to take care of her.” A pause, shuffling of papers. Something heavy and almost… hesitant in the silence before- “Did she always have this DNR order?”
Price’s office turned to ice. Simon’s entire shuddered, cored out. The arm of the chair Soap was occupying cracked. Gaz’s hand was covering his mouth, blood draining from his face.
“No,” Price answered, voice little more than rust.
A grunt on the other end.
“Thanks for the insight,” your new captain replied, sounding nonplussed. “At least you were good for something.”
The line droned, dead.
You’re standing with the rest of SpecGru, beaming like each and every one of them hung a star just for you. They orbit like you’re the sun, even Nikto, holding you in his arms, letting you lean back against him.
(You used to look at Simon like that. Used to let him hug you like that on the occasion he was weak and gave into the temptation to hold you.)
Every time he looks at you, it’s like a stranger with your face all over again.
You hold your shoulders differently. Tilt your head different. Have a certain control over your facial features better than any mask Simon’s donned.
Today you’re dressed down from your tac uniform. Specifically, your long-sleeve thermal has been replaced by a sleeveless gym shirt. It reveals that tattoo he caught only a glimpse of before — a big, intricate thing from your shoulder down your wrist.
(He and Johnny were going to go with you for your first tattoo. You asked them for all sort of recommendations. Enjoyed tracing Simon’s sleeve when he let you.)
There are more scars too. Burns, bullet grazes, jagged knife marks and patches from bad scrapes.
Nova is finishing up the wrapping on your hand, the other already done. You’re listening to something Russ is spouting off about, whatever it is making you laugh loud enough to be heard where Simon is lurking.
“C’mon,” Johnny says, bumping shoulders with Simon. “Know we fucked up yesterday, but we can try again. Maybe letting her beat the shite out of us will help clear the air, aye?”
Simon forces himself to look away. He already knows you won’t be glancing over.
“Yeah,” he replies. “Maybe.”
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shotmrmiller · 3 months
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this is just another pathetic!simon blurb. Not the second part to this. unedited.
Johnny is Simon's wingman.
One quiet evening, Johnny sits you on the bed and asks you if you'd do Simon a solid.
"A favor is me washing his clothes, or making him breakfast, Johnny! Not sucking him off!"
He is completely undeterred by your reaction and just grasps your hand to press a kiss on it. "Ach, dinnae be like that." He's out of his fucking mind, you think, and you move to walk away when he blocks the exit with his body.
"Bonnie. Just hear me out. Ghost, err, Simon, he's lonely. He's a big man, with an oppressive air about 'em, aye? His stare is unnerving to say the least. Lasses run for the hills when they see em— if they aren't frozen in place with terror."
You can feel your soft heart crack because Simon is so sweet, so kind— how can anyone be afraid of him? and that's what you tell Johnny.
He tightens his lips into a firm, white line to keep from telling you that the Simon you think is just so sweet, has shoved his tactical knife in between the ribs of his enemies remorselessly, and breaks their necks without a second thought. He snuffs out life as if it were the only thing he was good at.
"Aye, bonnie. He's not very good when it comes to lasses. He can be intense, and not a lot of people can handle that," Johnny kisses the palm of your hand, "But not ye— yer good at handling intense." And then he says the most pitiful thing you've heard. "It's been decades since someone's touched him willingly."
Johnny's eyes glow as he physically sees you give in, and you've barely given your assent when he's bolting out the bedroom door.
With a shaky exhale, you get up and start to change into something more comfortable. You're probably gonna be on your knees for a while.
--
You gape once you see Simon pull out his manhood. "Er...How are you, uh- what?"
Simon's cock is huge. Monstrous, even. It's so heavy it doesn't even stand erect— just falls downward. He's so thick, you don't think you can even wrap your hand around it. His balls hang low— full and would overflow your hand if you cupped them.
At least he trims.
Simon took his mask off for this, so when you look up at him through your lashes, his cheeks are ruddy, and he's nervously biting his bottom lip.
In a comforting gesture, you extend your hand and take his hand in yours, applying gentle pressure to his curled fingers, coaxing him to let go of the tension.
"Relax, Simon. You're alright. Nothing I can't handle."
Johnny is watching you proudly as he sits next to Simon on the edge of the mattress.
"Aye, LT. She'll treat ye right, wont ye bonnie?"
You nod, and shuffle closer, to be inches from Simon's length.
"I've got you. Just feel, hm?" Slowly and deliberately, you interlace your fingers with Simon's. "I'm gonna start now, okay?"
Sticking your tongue out, you tentatively lick his slit, tasting the leaking pre-cum, and swirl your tongue around his head. When you encase your lips around his tip, his hot, salty seed is instantly coating your tongue.
You let go of his hand to wrap it around him and pump as you bob your head, helping him ride out his orgasm. The moment you feel him stop twitching in your hand, you pull away and are about to swallow— only for Simon to lean down and slant his lips over yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth. He curls it around yours, completely uncaring that he's tasting himself.
He breaks the kiss and licks his cum and your saliva from the corner of his lips.
Johnny laughs as he reaches down to wipe the mess left behind with his thumb.
"That was a filthy kiss, wasn't it bonnie?" and then he turns his attention to Simon, murmuring into his ear loud enough for you to hear. "How was Bonnie's mouth, LT? Was it like ye hoped? Her slick tongue against your slit? I bet it felt heavenly."
You don't know if it's the thought of your lips wrapped around him, or if it's Johnny so close to Simon's ear that his lips graze the shell of his ear, but Simon's length stirs, rising to half-mast.
It's been 2 minutes, and he's ready to go again.
--
Simon must've gotten more comfortable, or his mind is simply hazy with lust, because the moment you put him into your mouth, he harshly thrusts into you, blocking off your air and triggering your gag reflex.
The hurck you choked out was unattractive and thank goodness Johnny was here because his reaction was almost instantaneous.
"Ghost, no— ye cannae do that, aye? Yer much too large for her, have tae take it slow," and chuckles. "Otherwise, she might bite."
Simon speaks for the first time that evening. "I don' mind a little teeth."
Johnny cackles. "Whether ye like it or nae, ye have tae be considerate. Let her work ye, she knows what she's doin'."
You stick him in your mouth again, and this time flatten your tongue as you go as deep as you can, and curl it to drag along the thick vein on the underside of his cock when you pull back.
Johnny hisses and asks Simon if it feels good. If the tip of your tongue is snagging on the ridge of his flared head— if it feels like your throat wants to swallow him whole.
Simon's ears are red, and he's panting harshly as he jerkily nods at what Johnny's saying, never looking away from you as you work him into another peak.
He comes with a snarl when you cup his balls, and a fingernail scrapes the thin, sensitive skin of his perineum.
Johnny coos at Simon, "Oh, that must've been delicious, the way her fingers stroke ye. The way her throat closes up around ye when ye push a little too far."
Simon spurts more cum onto your tongue when he hears that.
--
You've been on your knees for what felt like hours, and Simon comes for the fifth time that night when you slightly pinch the tender skin of his head with your teeth.
This time, Simon grabs himself to come over your face— viscous, globs of cum over your eyes and nose. He taps his cock on your cheek, a sticky slapping noise resonating in the room.
--
You sit with your eyes closed and hear someone get up and walk toward the bathroom, hopefully to get you a bloody towel, when you feel a strong, wet tongue drag across your cheekbone.
"Gross, Simon."
"Nae, bonnie, it's really not that bad. Otherwise, ye widnae have swallowed most of everythin' LT gave ye."
"Gross, Johnny."
@pieckyghost i aint finna get locked up again!
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simonrillleyyysss · 3 months
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angel🪽! reader meeting simon😇
the 141 discover a real life angel – wings, halo, and an ethereal singing voice! simon is dirty sinner who wants to receive your “blessing”. pls! it’s your heavenly duty baby girl🥺
simon has a big corruption kink cuz he’s like that
I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS IDEA!!!
cw; darkish content, coercion, slight manipulation, corruption kink, breeding kink, minor religious ideology, minor mentions of pregnancy, implied catholic reader but idrc, p in v, squirting
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“What is she?”
“Dinnae’, pretty wee’ thing though.”
Mactavish crooned, reaching out to stroke a ginger along your feathered wings.
“Lads, leave her alone.”
The bearded man ordered, waving the blondehaired man over with a slack hand, the behemoth of a man stepping over to your cowering frame, slinging his arm around yours and gently assisting you up.
“Bring her to a spare room—We’ll find out who she is soon.”
Without a complaint, Simon gently tugged you along—Watching you struggle to find your footing, almost tripping over yourself—Glancing up at the man with fearful eyes.
“Where are you taking me, sir?”
Silence, before he glanced down at you with narrowed eyes; staring, just staring. Before he eventually spoke up.
“What are y’?”
The low accent enquired, your lips parting in mild confusion, gently murmuring out with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes.
“Gods servant.”
Chuckling, the man just shook his head and glanced forward, unlocking the bedroom door and navigating you inside; standing in front of the closed door now.
“Y’need anything, just call.”
And with that, he was gone.
The next few days were calm for you, essentially, Mactavish and Garrick often visited you to chat and ask you questions. Play with your wings and decorate your halo, helping you preen your wings.
Price helped you with everything—Clothes, necessities, even helped you get set up with a local church and attempted to find you your own apartment.
Ghost? He just brought you everywhere. Literal guardian angel, you wanted to go out for a walk? He’s following behind you like a dog, arms crossed and boots stomping against the ground. And as time passed, you grew closer to him.
You helped him pray, taught him how to properly bless himself, assisted him with small tasks, blessed him before any mission—Small or safe, long or dangerous. You forgave him, for all of his previous sins.
He was still sinful.
Simon still laid in his cot, hand stroking his cock furiously—grumbling and hissing through his teeth, hips arching up and off of the bedsheets, cum spurting along his abdomen, spilling down to his pubic hair.
Simon still fucked his pillow, like a dirty, hormonal teenager—Thinking of the way your unused cunt would clench and stretch around the length of his dick, how he would ruin you for yourself, and your beliefs. Your purpose.
Make you faithful to him, not god.
When he’s knocking on your door, it’s not a surprise—Your fluffing your wings before he walks in, glancing down at you.
“Hi, Si!”
“You alright?”
“M’fine.. Just wanna pray for a bit.”
Nodding, you patted the side of your bed, watching the man sink into it comfily, placing a hand on his thigh.
You’re so gorgeous, the way your soft eyes looked up at him with mild adoration, the way your lips parted softly as you whispered soft prayers, fingers clenched together, he couldn’t help but feel his cock harden at the sight of you, chewing on his cheek.
He couldn’t help himself, he wrapped a hand around your waist, yanking you into him—listening to your soft little squeak, eyes widening.
“Simon?”
“I had a dream, last night.”
He grumbled, glancing down at you with faux worry.
“A vision, even.”
“Meant to have your blessing, worship you.”
The blonde coerced you into sitting atop his lap, kneading at the flesh of your ass gently; lips suckling on the untainted skin of your neck, cross between your cleavage glistening at him.
“..Blessing?”
“S’yr duty, love.. God sent y’down here fr’ me, sent you here to create the purest kind..
To save sinners like me.”
Within seconds, he was pulling you into a sloppy, openmouthed kiss—rough fingers tearing your clothes apart, palms squishing your bare breasts together, rolling the buds of your nipples over his thumb.
“Do all of yr’ kind walk around, tits out? Think you wanted this attention..”
It was all moving too fast, your wings fluttered slightly, lips parted and eyes wide with soft concern as your palms rested against his chest.
“Are you—“
A soft whimper interrupted your voice as the man beneath you lapped at your perky tits, letting out soft groans.
“Are you sure we’re meant to do this?”
“This feels unholy..”
Simon shook his head, slapping your ass tantalisingly, grinding his aching cock into your clothed cunt, listening to your quiet mewl.
“God told me, told me in prayers.. Soon as I seen yr’ pretty face, I knew it.”
He knew this was wrong, he knew manipulating this little thing into seduction was horrible, but how could he stop now?
He’d never stop, that’s what he told himself as he slid his digits into your tight cunt, tears streaking your cheeks, crying out at the painful stretch, but how could he stop? The way your hips met his hand in mutual thrusts, the way you squirted all over the bedsheets with a drawn out moan, the way your toes curled into the bed from pleasure.
How could he stop?
He couldn’t stop, couldn’t stop when your cross bounced atop your tits, couldn’t stop when you begged him to slow down—his cock battering your pussy like it owed him money, couldn’t stop when you prayed beneath your breath for god to forgive you.
Wouldn’t stop.
“That’s it—Fffuuucckk..—What would the lord think do you? Being wrecked by a dirty sinners cock..”
“Your first cock, your only—christ— cock.”
“Simon—ahah!mngghh.. s’too much!”
Each word from him was emphasised by a swift slap to your clit, his lips worshipping your body like a temple—His temple, he’d pray to you every night—Fill your tummy up with his offspring, make you his goddess , never listen to anyone but the woman carrying his fertile seed, the woman who he was currently cumming inside with soft pants, kissing the nape of your neck with soft praise.
Acts surprised when your tummy starts to swell with his baby a few weeks later.
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peachesofteal · 5 months
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I have this thing kicking around in my head about Johnny teaching a technical skills lab on base, because he’s so revered in his field, and you’re one of his students.
Maybe you’re late the first day. It’s a small class, so your haggard entrance is noticed, and you try to take your seat without causing too much disruption, but it’s too late. He’s already noticed you…
And he holds you up after class.
You’re mortified. You’re not usually late. You’re not usually out of sorts- but you’ve been all over the place recently, your standard routines and procedures all out of whack because you’ve been transferred halfway around the world to this base, to run analytics for some half cocked initiative you’ve never even heard of. You need structure. Not ever changing parameters that make your head spin.
“I’m so sorry, sir. I’m not usually late, I had trouble with my keycard and I got lost on the-“
“Did I ask ye for excuses?” He’s standing in front of you with his arms crossed, bright blue eyes narrowed, and you gulp. You feel pinned, trapped beneath his gaze, like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Trying to explode.
“N-no.”
“No what?” He cocks his head, and at the reminder, your eyes widen before finding the floor.
“No, sir.”
“Much better.” He murmurs, stepping closer, boots scuffing along the floor. “Missing any instruction time is considered unacceptable.” He moves closer, close enough that you can see rich amber hues of his hair, the texture of the patch on his uniform. You can’t help but lean backwards, trying to give him back the space that he took up, and his expression shifts- taking on a nefarious edge.
“Did I tell ye to move?”
“No sir.” You whisper, nervous. Unsure. He doesn’t look away from you, studying you intently, a bug under a microscope.
His gaze is predatory, hungry. Seeking. Something about it makes heat flare in your belly.
“The time missed will need to be made up.” You nod immediately.
“Okay.” He raises an eyebrow. “Sir.” You add, and you’re rewarded with a smirk.
“Good.” He gives the praise slowly, a small section of your brain melting away in front of him, internally struggling to keep yourself together. “Tomorrow. 0700.” He turns away to the desk, pulling a bag from the chair and giving you one last parting look. “Dinnae be late, or the punishment will be double.”
Punishment?
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