#did i want to post bagginshield on valentine's day? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vtforpedro · 4 months

Text

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.

#vtforpedro personal #vtforpedro medical #tw mental illness #tw medical #tw depressing stuff #tw pet loss #I always wish I have something better to write #gonna try to do everything in my power to make that happen next year

13 notes · View notes

x-kytanna-x · 4 years

Note

If you are still doing promts, how about Bilbo being a vet and Thorin coming to him with his sick pet raven

I think this has been sitting on my inbox for almost an entire year?? I’m so sorry it took me so long nonny.

This is the first of the five prompts I have filled for Valentine’s day. I’ll post the next one in a couple of hours and you’ll find all the prompts tagged with Bagginshield’s Valentine, in case you want to read the rest. Hope you enjoy this ficlet and happy Valentine’s day for you all!!

-------------

"Uhm…" Hamfast hesitated.

"Yes?" Asked Bilbo without looking up from the blood test results he was holding. When the vet nurse didn't say anything Bilbo finally looked up. "What is it?"

"He's here again." Said Hamfast, at last.

Bilbo sighed, putting down the papers. "Did he tell you what happened this time?"

"He said Burack is making a weird breathing noise." Explained Hamfast.

Bilbo snorted, his mouth curling into a smile involuntarily. "Of course he is."

Bilbo stepped into the waiting room, and sure enough, Thorin and his raven were there. They came to his clinic so often everyone was more than acquainted with him and Burack. Except for the very first time Thorin had no reason to come back, his raven was the healthiest bird Bilbo had ever seen, despite his owner claims.

It was time to end this, Bilbo was sure the poor bird was tired more than a tad fed up with all the hassle that was coming for a check-up and as much as he liked Bilbo no one enjoyed to be prodded on a daily basis.

"Thorin please come in," exclaimed Bilbo, a soft smile planted on his face.

Once they were both inside the consulting room, Thorin pulled Burack out from his rather fancy carrier. “Hello, Bilbo.”

“Hello Thorin, and hello to you too Burack,” added Bilbo, brushing his thumb against the raven’s beak. “Hamfast told me he’s been having trouble with his breathing.”

“Yes. He’s been like that for a couple of days, I realized one night when he came to snuggle with me. I want to discard the possibility of it being aspergillosis.” Explained Thorin in a monotone tone, not quite meeting Bilbo’s eyes.

Bilbo simply hummed and pressed his lips together when they threatened to turn up in an amused smile. “Well, let’s see what’s wrong with you, my boy.” Bilbo carefully put his stethoscope against Burack’s chest while Thorin rubbed feathered back comfortingly.

The bird, for his part, remained unbothered; too used to being auscultated by now and with how often he came by he probably knew he would get delicious treats if he stayed still.

Unsurprisingly, Bilbo found absolutely nothing odd with his breathing. At twenty years old Burack was in the prime of his life and with how well Thorin took care of him it’ll a cold day in hell before Burack got aspergillosis. Sure enough, it was common for birds to have infections in the respiratory tract but Bilbo highly doubted Burack would be getting them anytime soon.

Bilbo eyed Thorin as he mechanically checked Burack for what must have been the fifth time that month. Bilbo knew why he kept coming back — and so did all his staff, Bilbo was sure they had a bet going on — but he didn’t seem to be about to ask Bilbo out today either. He wasn’t quite sure why he was so hesitant, Bilbo had made sure to give him all the right cues to show he was receptive to Thorin advances.

Very well then, Bilbo had never been one to wait meekly for others and he wasn’t about to start now. “What do you say about this Friday at seven?”

“Excuse me?” Asked Thorin, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I think —” Bilbo trailed off, licking his lips and feeling his face starting to heat. “— Burack would appreciate that we meet without him being in the middle of it.”

Bilbo took out the treats he kept especially for Burack and gave him some. Thorin’s face was taking a very endearing red tinge and Bilbo wanted nothing more than press a kiss in one of his bearded cheeks. “Burack has nothing wrong, by the way. Although you probably already know that.” Bilbo added with a teasing smile.

Thorin looked down, idly rubbing the back of his neck, in obvious embarrassment. “I apologize for that. I wanted to talk more with you but I wasn’t quite sure how to ask you for your number and I was afraid you might find it improper since Burack is one of your patients.”“Well, I’m not going to date him, am I?” Said Bilbo. “I thought I was making my interest in you quite clear, I think I did everything but throw myself in your lap,” Bilbo admitted quietly with an embarrassed smile.

“I’m not used to the intricacies of flirting, I’m afraid,” Thorin explained with a chuckled. “It’s been a long while since I’ve been interested in someone.”

“I would say you did pretty good, I’m quite taken with you,” Bilbo said as he walked towards Thorin and took his hand. “So... Dinner at seven?”

“Yes. I- Yes, I really would like that.” Thorin replied, intertwining their fingers and brushing the back of Bilbo’s hand with his thumb.

#Bagginshield's Valentine #bagginshield #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #bagginshield fic #the hobbit #my writing

27 notes · View notes