My beloved(s) 🫶

rating gpgp characters to best to worst flirt

Dr. Keh: he knows his ways, but he just does when people are ignoring him (courtesy of @lavenderwhirls)

Angelica: she may not show much, but she can win people just by flirting

Dr. Price: he varies between Actual, Good flirts and funny ones to make people laugh

Octavia: she mostly uses smiles and compliments bc she knows it works

Flash: he uses those classic, funny ones in his favour to make the one he's flirting with laugh

Plant Lady: same strategy as Octavia but she straight up doesn't realize it's flirting

Nasir: he's very good at complimenting unintentionally but once he realizes it's Flirting he becomes a mess

Cicero: doesn't even try. is blushing and stuttering before a word comes out of her mouth

dont flirt: Buddy and Alicante (both not interested)

if kinn and porsche are my parents then vegas is that one mostly harmless but weird uncle that teaches you how to snap someone's neck and maybe some torture methods. pete is that weird uncle's wife who scolds him for teaching kids those kind of things but then he gives you a knife himself. self defense is important after all. and he always cooks the best dishes. chay is that one older cousin who brings you every kinds of candy and lets you play on his phone. kim is that one uppity and pretentious cousin who won't shut up about all the places he's been last summer and gives you the most useless life advices. macau is the cousin that you have no choice but to hang out with because he's the closest to you age. and you actually end up getting along really good. tankhun is the wine aunt who knows enough family secrets to make everyone turn against eachother and to destroy the family but he wouldn't tell anyone anything because he actually loves his fam but acts like he doesn't care. and on your birthdays he gives you ridiculous amount of money. pol is that one family friend who always spends holidays with you, even the ones he doesn't celebrate, even though he has his perfectly fine family of his own. ken is that one uncle who died under suspicious circumstances and no one is allowed to say his name anymore. big is the uncle who died too young and everyone always remembers with a smile on their faces and always make a toast to him. tem and jom are the uncles who you forget that even exist because you see them once in every 84 years. tay is the aunt with a heart of gold that deserves someone so much better than his useless husband. time is the useless husband that ruins the vibe with offensive jokes. yok is the queen business woman aunt obviously. she's not around much but always ready to help when someone needs her. and arm is my husband sorry 🙄

for a while i lived in an old house; the kind u.s americans don't often get to live in - living in a really old house here is super expensive. i found out right before i moved out that the house was actually so old that it features in a poem by emily dickinson.

i liked that there were footprints in front of the sink, worn into the hardwood. there were handprints on some of the handrails. we'd find secret marks from other tenants, little hints someone else had lived and died there. and yeah, there was a lot wrong with the house. there are a lot of DIY skills you learn when you are a grad student that cannot afford to pay someone else to do-it-for-ya. i shared the house with 8 others. the house always had this noise to it. sometimes that noise was really fucking awful.

in the mornings though, the sun would slant in thick amber skiens through the windows, and i'd be the first one up. i'd shuffle around, get showered in this tub that was trying to exit through the floor, get my clothes on. i would usually creep around in the kitchen until it was time to start waking everyone else up - some of them required multiple rounds of polite hey man we gotta go knocks. and it felt... outside of time. a loud kind of quiet.

the ghosts of the house always felt like they were humming in a melody just out of reach. i know people say that the witching hour happens in the dark, but i always felt like it occurred somewhere around 6:45 in the morning. like - for literal centuries, somebody stood here and did the dishes. for literal centuries, somebody else has been looking out the window to this tree in our garden. for literal centuries, people have been stubbing their toes and cracking their backs and complaining about the weather. something about that was so... strangely lovely.

i have to be honest. i'm not a history aficionado. i know, i know; it's tragic of me. i usually respond to "this thing is super old" by being like, wow! cool! and moving on. but this house was the first time i felt like the past was standing there. like it was breathing. like someone else was drying their hands with me. playing chess on the sofa. adding honey to their tea.

i grew up in an old town. like, literally, a few miles off of walden pond (as in of the walden). (also, relatedly, don't swim in walden, it's so unbelievably dirty). but my family didn't have "old house" kind of money. we had a barely-standing house from the 70's. history existed kind of... parallel to me. you had to go somewhere to be in history. your school would pack you up on a bus and take you to some "ye olden times" place and you'd see how they used to make glass or whatever, and then you'd go home to your LEDs. most museums were small and closed before 5. you knew history was, like, somewhere, but the only thing that was open was the mcdonalds and the mall.

i remember one of my seventh grade history teachers telling us - some day you'll see how long we've been human for and that thing has been puzzling me. i know the scientific number, technically.

the house had these little scars of use. my floors didn't actually touch the walls; i had to fill them with a stopgap to stop the wind. other people had shoved rags and pieces of newspaper. i know i've lost rings and earring backs down some of the floorboards. i think the raccoons that lived in our basement probably have collected a small fortune over the years. i complain out loud to myself about how awful the stairs are (uneven, steep, evil, turning, hard to get down while holding anything) and know - someone else has said this exact same thing.

when i was packing up to leave and doing a final deep cleaning, i found a note carved in the furthest corner in the narrow cave of my closet. a child's scrawled name, a faded paint handprint, the scrangly numbers: 1857.

we've been human for a long time. way back before we can remember.

I had to do it.

I hate the sewers . jpg

Blions first kill

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

Sandra-Lynn and Sklonda are having a "What Do We Do About Kristen" phone call as we speak

So does he, Gallagher.

HANG ON you can't just tease us with The Best Barnaby I've seen

Tbf I did base my barnaby loosely to (other) clown’s human barnaby-

there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.

How would little Eclipse and Blood Moon react if they saw someone trying to flirt (properly) with their father?

They'd be disgusted and confused if anything. They're not very supportive of KC getting a love life.

makes me crazy when queer people specifically think the shape of water was too weird of a film. like that's you, actually. both historically and explicitly. that is supposed to be you. historically, queer people have only been able to be portrayed in film as villains or monsters. the dracula the swamp monster the fish man that is YOU. explicitly in the movie the fish man is a stand in for people who are Other. that's why the first woman to care for him is a mute woman who has been ostracized by everyone EXCEPT FOR other people who have been othered in society mainly octavia spencer and her gay roommate whose names I forget currently. and that's why the minority characters in that film are trying to help elisa and the fishman escape the government and live happily ever after. bc they are the same. he is them. tell me u get that

i love boss price pressuring and taking advantage of his employee as much as the next sick and twsted girl, but im also kinda obsessed with a price x reader where you're insanely obvious about how much you want to fuck that old man. wearing itty bitty skirts and bending over right in front of him, always having one too many buttons undone on your top, constantly being a little too far in his personal space. and he just has to sit there and watch, can't do anything about it since he's your boss :/

anyways i want a "watch what you wish for" with price who you've been teasing for months. he finally gives in and takes you, doesn't have it in him to go slow when you've been testing his patience for so long, and he just gives you everything he's got whether or not you think you can take it

can the fae!boys use the taps in ways for like fully good intent like lets say if libeling was freaked and stressed out of her mind and well overworked just one tap and shes putty in königs arms to take care of- or the panic attack with her fic got me thinking if she was in one he could just go tap

Taps can absolutely be used with good intent. This is where I say that magic in this au cannot be good or evil, it's all in how you use it. Blessings and curses are two sides of the same coin: a spell for a baby might be a blessing for one and a curse for another, but at the end of the day it's the same magic. But yeah let's have someone other than the kinksters use the tap for good vibes.

You're completely run down, drained of everything that isn't numbers and money or worries about numbers and money. You should call your accountant. Instead you're sitting at your little kitchen table with receipts and month income reports. You're pretty sure you're turning a profit. You might not be. Who knows? Not you.

You haven't had a day off in... fuck when was the last time you took a day off? Maybe two, three(?), months ago? When you got dragged to that Renn Faire? That sounds about right. Today doesn't count. End of the quarter accounting doesn't count as a day off even if you had to close the shop.

König seems restless. He's been pacing around the flat with nothing to occupy him all day. You've snapped at him a couple times, sent him outside or to the shops just for a moment's piece. You rub your eyes with the heel of your hand, tapping you pencil against your calculator as you stare down the list you've been making on spare notebook paper. You're starting to get a migraine. The lights are too brightly haloed, each ambient noise too loud against your skin, you can feel your bones and it's nauseating.

You sit back in your chair and press your hands to your face, giving yourself a moment's darkness as you try to weigh Advil against just going to bed. When you finally slide your hands from your face you're staring up at König, his concern radiating off of him, or maybe he's just blocking your overhead light.

"Are you sick meine liebe?" he asks, leaning to press the back of his hand against your forehead. He takes it back with a frown, fingers hovering close.

"No, I'm just-" You shake your head, sit forward again to keep working, König's hand covers your eyes. You sigh and lean against the gentle touch, "I'm just tired König."

"Everything will still be there in the morning Liebling, come to bed." His thumb rubs at your forehead, soothing the worried creases.

"I'll just keep thinking about it," You let out another sigh, press your hands against König's, press his warmth and darkness into your tired eyes. You feel a childish whine building behind your ribs, your head hurts and you don't want to think anymore. You think- you think Love talked about Ghost doing something about that. God the last thing you want is to engage with anything similar to her reckless behavior, but the thump of a migraine against your skull is highly convincing.

"Can you-" The only experience you have with König's magic is what he gives you during sex, you don't really know what to ask for. You don't really know what to call what you want. Good fucking God you hate asking for help. König stays quiet, lets you sort through your thoughts without his interjection. "Can you make me stop thinking?" You ask, the migraine has started migrating towards nausea and the threat of being curled over the toilet overpowers your self sufficiency.

"You would put yourself in my care?" His voice is so soft, so careful and almost hopeful. You don't really know how not thinking would need care, but you nod against his hand. König takes a breath, his pointer finger raising to tap your forehead lightly.

Everything about you drops as you sag forward. All of the building pain is gone in an instant as König's magic sweeps through you, pushing every thought from your head. It settles like a blanket over your mind, hushing your sense of self and independence, and leaving you at König's mercy.

It's dark. No. There's something covering your eyes. A very careful movement, a hand sliding off your line of sight to cup your face and tip your head back. You're kissed so sweetly, gentle pressure and soft lips against your own. König, your sluggish brain supplies. König's magic seems eager to pick and choose what you know. Just the important things, his kiss tells you.

He pulls away with a low purr. You watch the twitch of his gaze, transfixed by the way he searches your eyes. He takes a breath and when he exhales it blows over you like a mist. Your eyes lid, then close, and you threaten to tip over again. Everything is heavy and soft. His hands slide under your arms, lifting you out of your uncomfortable seat.

"Up Schatz," König coaxes you to stand, helps you move your fuzzy, floaty, limbs, "There you go." You hardly stand from your chair before König's hand is pressing between your shoulders, tipping you forward at the waist to rest your hands against the table and scatter papers. His hands are big on your hips, holding you up as he drops to his knees behind you. "Let me help you," His voice is so husky, you hum and drop your head forward. It feels too heavy to keep holding up.

But it's so blissfully quiet, your thoughts silent and still as a lake. Any thought that slips through König's filter falls like sand through your fingers. Too slick to hold onto, not that you want to. No, this is good. Somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness, your body tingly and warm, just at the edge of a dream. You feel so peaceful. König drags your pants down. You feel kept. You feel like you're forgetting something.

"Am I supposed to be doing something?" You ask König, he'll know. He pauses, his hands squeezing your ass appreciatively.

"No, I'm going to eat you, and then you're going to bed." He tells you. You hum, that sounds nice. "Alles gut?"

"Yeah, good." You pull the syllables out into a low hum as his tongue licks a flat stripe over your slit. You rock back against his hold when he repeats the motion, slicking you with long teasing strokes. His tongue is so strange, twisting and circling against your clit, between your folds. Inhuman, entirely inhuman. The thought hums pleasantly in your veins, stirring heat alongside his long thick tongue.

It's hot and wet, his breath ghosting over you as he laps at your cunt making you shiver with need. Each slick drag rolls back and forth as his fingers squeeze your hips, your ass, every inch of softness appreciated for what it is. You. König closes his lips around your clit and sucks, his tongue fluttering against the sensitive nub, making heat race through you. You stomach jumps, your breath hitches, you press your hands against the table to try and press back against him. His hands hold you firmly in place as pleasure leaps up your spine.

The clench of your needy cunt catches his attention, and he shift to wiggle his tongue into the hole. He slurps greedily as you drip into his mouth, one of his hands leaving your hip to thumb your clit, coaxing you to clench on his tongue and whine. One of his claws catches your clit and you jerk, only for the ones on your hip to dig in further. Your breath stutters feeling the firm pressure of skin at its breaking point, the hot pinpricks of beading blood.

You freeze, grip the scattered papers under your hands with unsteady fists. If you focus past the slick liquid pleasure he's licking into you, you can feel the flat dangerous press of teeth just behind his lips. You shiver, his tongue twisting inside of you to push against your gummy walls, stroking alongside the fingers at your clit. He's more monster than man, and you're reminded how much you love that when he growls against your cunt.

"More," You beg, pressing back against his mouth. He pulls back and his hand leaves your hip, hardly giving your knees time to buckle before it smacks your ass. You jolt forward, your thighs hitting the edge of the table as quickly as he's holding your hip to pull you back onto his tongue.

"Such a greedy thing liebchen, remember your manners," He spits on your cunt, watches his saliva drip down with the rest of your slick before gathering it on his tongue.

"Please," You mumble, letting the word drop from your lips as he licks you. The hot roll of his tongue before his mouth closes over you, before he sucks at your slick skin, makes your back arch. His hum reverberates through you, and you let your eyes roll. König pinches your clit meanly, before soothing the ache with his tongue, his fingers moving to press into your hole.

He lets you rock back against them. The two thick digits rough with callouses, crook to press against your spongy sweet spot, claws all but forgotten as he strokes your soft inner walls. Each gentle thrust of his fingers drags a new coil of heat through you, tightens the feeling deep in your stomach. His tongue coaxes it tighter, easing you towards a hard release.

"Don't tell me I made you so stupid you forgot how to cum Schatzi," He murmurs, pressing sucking kisses to your clit. You don't think so, but you certainly feel like you're missing something. Every touch of him inches you a bit higher, winds your muscles a little tenser, until you don't think you can take any more.

His grip on your hip loosens as his hand slides up under your shirt. König's fingers spread wide under the fabric, hooking themselves in the strands between you with practiced ease. They grip, hard, and rip you forward to collapse against the table, all your tethers bursting into full technicolor. Everything inside of you breaks and you feel your orgasm crash into you.

"There you go, there you go," He groans, fingers thrusting a little faster into your cunt, hitting your sweet spot a little harder as you squirt against his mouth. Every muscle firing to shake and shudder as you collapse forward onto the table, letting König work you through your orgasm. Your legs shake, hips jerking as he keeps fucking you, keeps sucking at your clit, overstimulating you when you don't have the energy to tell him not to. You whine high and tight in your throat, feel another spring snap and bring the shivers back in full. It hurts so good. He drinks you down so nicely.

You don't know if your really standing as much as König's letting you sit on his face. Dimly you think it doesn't matter. You said you'd put yourself in his care, and you don't regret it. You're tingling and warm, wrung out. He's gentle moving you, you hardly feel it when he stands, when he helps you pull your shirt over your head so he can pick you up.

You settle against him, his hand holding you up as your arms drape over his shoulders. You close your eyes and enjoy the darkness of it, the calm peace in your mind. The sink turns on as you nod off in König's grip. The rush of water is almost a welcome sound, but does nothing to eclipse the soft purr that rumbles from your partner. He moves and you lose track of where you are in space in favor of letting his purring pull you further under his spell.

He settles you in bed, just like he promised. A warm washcloth wipes between your legs, cleaning you up as gently as König can manage before he's crawling onto the bed behind you, and tugging the covers up. He murmurs something your brain is too sluggish to hold onto, and kisses the top of your head. You're tugged snugly back against his chest, his arms oh-so tightly wrapped around you. Comfortably held, your body wastes no time dragging you down into sleep.