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uta-h3m-vcd-tbw · 3 years

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Who Am I?

I have attempted to dialogue the events in my life at least 100 times beforehand but probably more but could never bring myself to be completely honest. Call this a personal inventory if you will. I consider myself a better writer than most however when it comes to writing about myself my brain goes blank. I know what I want to say, it’s just how do you go about telling anyone....”I am a Heroin addict.”

I have read a couple books about other addicts & have watched countless documentaries, movies, & shows about addiction. Always paying close attention to how the writer unfolds his/her story trying to translate it to my own with little success. I eventually came to the conclusion that so much has happened in the two decades of drug use that there is no way fathomable to include everything...at least not in your standard literary fashion.

A few days ago I stumbled across a new series on Netflix about a girl that liked to blog on Tumblr & suddenly I felt I may have an outlet to format this timeline of events. Make no mistake about this...everything I write from this moment on is 100% true whether you choose to believe it or not. Hell looking back....I don’t believe it sometimes & constantly find myself asking God why am I still here & why have so many perished before/besides me? What makes me so special?

Most stories I read/watch about addiction are pretty generic. It typically starts with someone who was injured & prescribed pain killers only to get cut off from the doctor & led down the dark & endless path of Heroin addiction. They tell stories about the terrible things they did to maintain their habit & of loved ones they hurt along the way. While I did horrible things as well, hurt & lost too many loved ones to addiction...this story is unlike any of the rest. This is a story of addiction...obviously...but also one of organized crime, corruption, murder, extortion, jail/institutions, & love but mostly death.

Every addiction specialist or rehab I have been to always had the same fault....they try to find some underlying reason as to why I started, “self medicating,” & attempt to address it. I’ve had numerous heated arguments with councilors & doctors who insisted I was suppressing something deep down & may not even know it! While I have heard of such instances to actually be the case I can very well tell you I am as normal as you are.

I grew up in a child’s utopia in an upper-middle class suburb roughly 20 miles North of Detroit. Think of the famous Tim Allen show, “Home Improvement.” Not only was I raised in Metro Detroit but I also come from a family of two parents, still married, & was the youngest of three boys. I know most people’s perception of Detroit isn’t very high however in the 80′s & 90′s it was a great place to start a family. Before the auto industry tanked most people skipped college to work on the assembly line at one of the, “Big Three,” (Ford, GM, or Chrysler) & lived comfortably. My dad was a, “Safety Restraint Engineer,” for a subsidiary company with several patents still in use today! We spent our days riding bikes through endless trails behind our house, building forts, playing back yard football, & camping in the backyard on warm summer nights. My brothers & I were raised Catholic. Went to Church every Sunday & Catechism on Thursday nights. If I could change one thing about my childhood I wouldn’t. It was that perfect! My Father didn’t fail to raise a man...I failed to be the man he raised.

When someone asks me why I started doing drugs I tell them because it was fun....simple as that. I know it sounds cliche but it’s true, everyone was doing them. My older brothers were way ahead of me, listening to Grateful Dead & dropping acid in middle school! I just liked drugs a lot more than everyone else. My mother knew I had an addictive personality because I would take everything I did to the max & always looked for instant gratification. I never wanted to wait/work for anything. I think my brothers were aware of this as well because they would NEVER sell me pot in these early days. They wouldn’t even talk to me about it. So as far as being as normal as everyone else....maybe that one’s a stretch. On the other hand I was years ahead of my classmates & understood how things worked much easier than the majority of my class.

By the time I reached High School I was selling/smoking pot & hanging out with kids my age but it wasn’t long before I caught the attention of the older guys in the neighborhood. I had already garnished a somewhat questionable reputation through my brothers by default & everyone knew my name from the paper route I had since I was roughly 12 years old. At first they were intimidating & I hated whenever I had to deliver papers on one of their streets...praying they wouldn’t be outside playing basketball or something. They always hung around the same two or three houses depending on who’s parents weren’t home that day. If they saw me coming every one of them would stop what they were doing & aim their attention towards me. All of them except one. I knew his face & heard stories whispered about him in the hallways at school. His name was Franco & he was not just the leader of their group...he was, “Head Fucking Hancho.” You know the scene from mob movies where people from the neighborhood come to sit with the boss & ask him all kinds of favors in return for their loyalty? That was Franco at age 15! He had everyone’s respect....even that of my older brothers who looked up to nobody. If you had a disagreement with Franco it didn’t go far. I’ve seen him hit guys so hard they temporarily lost the ability to speak! After a couple minutes of hazing from the guys he would shout from the porch telling them to leave me alone & they would scatter like roaches!

These encounters would eventually lead up to my first drug deal. Up until that point I had been stealing whatever I could from whichever brother wouldn’t notice at the time & smoking/selling it with & to my friends. They eventually caught me & beat the living shit out of me. I don’t think they were actually mad about the missing weed it was more about not stealing from your brother. The same day I was caught stealing weed I planned on meeting several kids from school at a friends house & of course everyone was expecting me to bring the pot. To this day I don’t know how I got the phone number or the guts to call it but I reached out to Franco’s best friend Mark. I don’t really no why I chose him....any of the older guys could have found me weed.....but I knew Mark sold it regularly & to pretty much anyone. There was no cell phones at this time so I had to call his house. He wasn’t as angry as I expected & told me to wait 5 minutes before riding my bike towards his side of the neighborhood. I did exactly as he instructed me to & before I could get to the end of my street he was pulling up in a dark green Ford Ranger...Frank was with him riding in the passenger seat. Mark got out...threw my bike in the back of his truck telling me to hop in the backseat before getting back behind the wheel & pealing off. The music was so loud I could barely understand the lyrics over the bass let alone what Frank & Mark were saying but it didn’t matter because they weren’t talking to me. At the time I thought Mark must want to get out of the neighborhood before doing the deal but after getting to know him I learned...that was his, “thing”. He loved to drive around, blaring music, & smoking weed with whoever was willing to tag along. He hated driving alone & his truck was like his office. Frank acted as if I wasn’t even there...holding a cool composure looking out the window while nodding his head to the music. Eventually we pulled down a random street, where Mark turned down the music before pulling the truck over. He turned around & asked me how much money I wanted to spend before opening a large grocery bag filled to the top with little, “dime bags,” or roughly a large gram of weed in each bag. I don’t know if it was how he had them bagged up but it was more than I had ever seen in one place at the time & my brothers always had a lot. I had a handful of crinkled five′s & one dollar bills I collected from my friends earlier in the day at school. It came out to around $24. I remember it was less than $25 because Mark insisted that an 8th cost $25 & that I was a dollar short. I didn’t even know what an 8th was or how much it cost but didn't want to screw up my first deal so I pretended it was just an honest mistake & he threw three bags in my lap. Franco asked where I was going & asked if I needed a ride which I humbly excepted.

From that day on things changed little by little with every passing day. I hung out less & less with the kids my age to be around Mark, Frank & the rest of the older guys. They saw me as the kid who could sell a lot of weed since I already had that reputation from my classmates. I saw them as a ticket to popularity. In my mind it was an even trade. My mother had an entirely different opinion.....constantly telling me I should be hanging around with my younger friends. To me it was harmless....choosing to see it as normal for a kid my age. I had no idea where this new found friendship would lead us. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

As I was saying before....so much has happened since this day that I cannot even begin to piece it all together in a manner in which it flows conveniently into a timeline of events. This is the beginning of my attempt & you will have to stick with me to learn more as I continue to publish. I will warn you upfront that I will be changing some names, maybe even places or be vague as I am still getting death threats to this day & also don’t want to negatively impact any of the families that have already been ripped apart from unimaginable losses. Lastly I am still weary about telling my story in it’s entirety. I am sure those who are close to me will be able to figure out who I am since most of what I am going to tell you has never been a secret save one part. I have never told ANYONE the FULL story other than my parents. I feel it is the main reason I have struggled in all my attempts at telling/writing what actually happened. Please understand that I take absolutely NO pride in the things I have done & only feel I need to document what I went through so maybe the next kid contemplating the path I chose....will rethink the decision. I can tell you now their is no glory or honor in what we did & the end result was nothing but pain & suffering for our victims as well as ourselves. I really hope nobody reads this the wrong way & that I am able to accurately portray the pain/anguish we caused so they realize how brainwashed we were & the impact you can have on others no matter how minor you think it is. You have to stand up against what may seem to be the correct/hard decision at the time or even a harmless one that you know in your heart/gut is questionable & choose to do what you know to be right. The definition of the word, “popular,” is; liked, admired, or enjoyed by many people or by a particular person or group. The groups that are using/selling drugs are the minority & in the end you will find most are not truly your friend. When I go on social media, looking back at all the kids I graduated with, I realize now that those who did well in school & actively participated were actually the, “cool kids.” They are the ones posting pictures of new houses, nice cars & beautiful wives with blossoming families. There is nothing cool about being alone & having nothing to show for the last two decades of your life but scars. It is not romantic in any way shape or form. You will not find comfort.

Stay tuned for more to come!

#addiction #drugs #illegal #heroin

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writings-from-unknown · 6 years

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La Vanille

Pairing: Army/Aloha

This is based on a song called “La Vanille” sung by Chalili

A bright day shone overhead. With hardly a cloud in the sky, it was perfect whether to many. Most everyone in this tiny town seemed to agree too. Inklings and Squidlings alike were wondering about, running after each other in a game or simply enjoying the warmth of the sun while caught up in a friendly conversation. It was lovely to feel the light breeze as it came, making the leaves of the trees that lined the streets dance above the residents that lived here and it was certainly a treat to see everyone so relaxed.

The last comment applied especially to two Inklings, walking down the street with a particular shop in mind. The two were just adjusting to being able to stay in a humanoid form longer than a few hours, the pair had only mastered it within the last year… Though one really shouldn’t be able to keep their form yet. He had certainly rushed himself to keep up with his friend. However, as much as one of them would like to scold the other, they really couldn’t complain as it appeared to have no side effects.

In a light fitting, transparent blouse, the pink fay certainly looked wonderful. The flowery design and white crop top underneath the blouse made it look just a bit more charming. The black jeans contrasted well with the white everywhere. A gold necklace with an amber jewel in the centerpiece decorated his neck, a gift from his companion. He looked rather feminine with his tentacles all down, the length rivalling most of the girls in the school the pair went to.

The other was dressed a bit more simply. He wore an open, black, light jacket and a black t-shirt underneath. He wore a similar pair of black jeans with his outfit. Simple but it looked good on him according to the pink Inkling. It certainly gave off a noble aura, a perfect reflection of the family he comes from. Of course, his tentacles also reflected that, done up in a neat ponytail like most other boys in their town.

The pair turned when they reached a familiar cafe. The music lazily drifting throughout almost instantly made them slightly tired. The familiar smell of the baked goods in the cafe didn’t help much either… But they wouldn’t fall asleep, they never did. With a grin, the pink Inkling looked over at his companion.

“The usual Ari? I’ll order while you get our usual table~”

“I told you, it’s “Army”... But yeah, sure, whatever Peachy…”

“Hey! I told you to expect me to give you a nickname when you picked your name~”

With a roll of his eyes, the orange Inkling took off to get their table near the window, staring at the blooming roses with a blissful sigh after sitting down… For as annoyed as Army seemed, the pink Inkling knew better. Of course, no one else here would be able to call him “Ari”, but he would have argued much more if he didn’t want want the fay-esk Inkling to call him that. No, of course Army didn’t mind his companion calling him that. If he minded, he would listen to his parents and avoid being around him. They certainly didn’t approve of the other’s quirky nature… But the orange Inkling had kept seeing his friend behind their backs. Something about the fay just fit well with the blaze, even if their personalities should clash.

However, such thoughts were cut off as the pink jewel-eyed Inkling came over with their drinks. A simple caffe macchiato for the orange Inkling and honey lemonade for himself. Disappearing with a slight smile at the other, he came back again after a bit, a plate of pink lemonade cupcakes placed next to his own drink and a plate with vanilla cake placed next to his companion’s drink. It was their usual order, so much so that the cashier had asked if the pink Inkling had wanted his usual when he got up there. It certainly made him giggle as embarrassing as it would be to others.

Once the jewel-like Inkling sat down, the pair picked back up the conversation they had outside. It didn’t last too long through. That chat was almost finished by time they got here. Instead, a comforting silence fell over the two as they ate. The melody still danced around them, lulling them into daydreams as they ate… The pink Inkling softly started to sing part of the melody… The lyrics were a creation of the fay, with new additions each time he heard the sweet tune.

“... Macciato and,

A slice of vanilla cake.

It’s easy to forget the rest of the world.

Slow music fills the air,

An old record’s spinning round and round in the dim light.

Drowsier ‘n drowsier we get…

Look how the time flies.

But it’s not like we need to care.

Relax, there’s nothing to worry about…”

The fairy broke off into humming the tune as the lyrics were lost. The song wasn’t completed but it was working out decently well… The orange blaze stays silent a bit longer to listen to his friend. A rare, playful smile dances on his face when he finally interrupts.

“If you keep singing, I might actually fall asleep… Your voice certainly doesn’t help the drowsy part.”

The jewel-like Inkling laughed from the comment, a bright smile dancing on his face. A conversation picked back up soon after… And that's how the pair spent most of their days. Up until the day Army disappeared…

The fay knew it was bound to happen eventually… He just wished it would have been when he could run away with dear Ari. But he was too young to hold his own in turf and that was really the only way to support yourself without a job in most places… With the drift that formed between Army and his family, it was unlikely the fay would ever see him in their hometown again…

It wasn't until years later that the pink Inkling saw Army again. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if the fiery Inkling even recognized him. He wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He had changed quite a bit since they last talked…

With a fruity and flirty attitude, he had taken Inkopolis by storm nearly over night. Two tentacles done up in a ponytail with another hanging over the side of his face and an all around tropical look to him, the partying king who called himself “Aloha” had quickly become the heartthrob of many in the utopia. A few carefully chosen words in a pleasant, teasing tone and he could wrap just about anyone around his fingers. He was certainly quirkier and more dangerous than the elegant, if not somewhat fruity, Inkling that Army used to know.

With a sigh, Aloha dragged himself out of his memories. It had been at least two years since he saw Ari again and he had been avoiding reminding the other of their shared childhood. Army didn't seem to remember and, in all honesty, that might be good. He already ran away from it once and the fay wasn't keen on risking him running off again. He had just played along, acting purely as “Aloha” without even suggesting the other may have once known him as someone else… But he always did hate restraining himself from calling the other “Ari”...

Though, even if he slipped up and said something that might remind the other of their past, would Ari even notice? He's been so stressed lately… Constantly running around, trying to do too many things at once, refusing to take breaks… The orange Inkling was sure to burn himself out soon at this rate… But really, what could Aloha do? There wasn't all that much he could do… His partying mannerisms only irritated the other. He was too chaotic and energetic for his old friend now… Though it still appeared as though Army was willing to at least tolerate his actions, like he used to with “Ari” and how clingy the pink Inkling got some days…

With a bit more concentration on how he could relax the other, a bold idea came to mind. It could go badly… But if it worked, it would certainly be a surefire way to help the other relax from now on. It used to work like a charm after all… Though, he'd have to do it himself now… Their usual spot was hours away by now. They'd have to stay there for at least a full day if they went there… Not like he could talk Army into it anyways…

Slightly nodding, Aloha called up an old friend. The scratch of a pen on paper broke the silence in the house as the pink Inkling wrote down the answers the other provided to his questions. With a “thank you” and a promise to visit when he can, the phone call was ended, a soft thud when the phone was placed on the table. A quick shopping trip was made and the fay was dancing through the instructions he had asked the other for, singing as he read the instructions over and over to make sure he didn't mess up a step.

“Now we've all grown up. Oh how long has it been, Since we moved far from that little café? You're always busy with, All those little things in your life; I wonder if you Remember that vanilla cake? That's half a cup of milk and one cup of fine white sugar, Two eggs and two cups of flour, a stick of butter, And last but not the least, Add three vanilla beans to the mix~ Sweet aroma fills my whole kitchen~”

For as careful as he was, it wasn't due to inexperience. He used to bake with his mother quite frequently when he was younger… But everything needed to be perfect. No less than perfection for once, this was important after all. When everything was set up, the fay texted his friend to give him a warning… Thankfully it was just becoming noon. Everything should be ready as a pleasant snack sometime after the other ate lunch, just when he was starting to get peckish again. That's when they used to have their snack after all.

Thankfully, Ari seemed to be in a good mood today. Despite the usual comment that he didn't really have the time to come over, within a couple pleading messages, the blaze gave in. He'd be over not too long after the treats would be done, all there was to do is wait. With a slight sigh, Aloha returns to his room, dropping off his golf visor and taking out his hair tie. He may be lacking the old blouse and crop top and his hair may look a bit different from being partly shaved on one side… But it would be obvious in time.

Heading back to kitchen, the pink S4 member idly spent his time on his time on his phone, though nothing really held his attention. No, his mind kept drifting back to the countless days that ended up in the cafe. Kept drifting back to the friend that likely didn’t even recognize him… Gods he could only hope this plan wouldn’t blow up in his face…

A ding dragged the Inkling back from his worries. The first batch of the goodies was done, time to switch which one was in the oven and then set up one of the drinks… Along with making sure the ingredients for the other drink was ready. He wanted no time wasted after all. He wasn’t sure how long he could hold Army here without the blaze deciding that Aloha was just toying with him to make him late...

Eventually, the second baked good finished too, the drink was stored away where it was needed and Aloha was left to drift in his thoughts again… Ari would be over soon though, so it wasn’t as if that was really an issue… Within a few minutes, a light knocking at the door sends the pink fay’s heart fluttering. Of course, there’s only one person it could be… Getting up and swiftly heading to the door, the pink Inkling greeted his orange companion with a smile, stepping aside.

“Just have a seat at the table~ I’ll go get our snacks, though it may take a few minutes if you don’t mind~”

The orange Inkling nodded in a bit of a daze. He hadn’t expected Aloha to answer the door like that or be so eager to get their snacks… The party king was usually a bit more lax… However, the blaze recovers a moment later, following his pink teammate before taking a seat at the table nearby… Though that certainly didn’t help stop the daze that came for him when the pink Inkling returned.

The drinks the other chose were… Peculiar to the drill sergeant. A caffe macchiato placed in front of him and what appeared to be lemonade in front of the empty seat… If he had to guess, he’d assume that it was honey lemonade. Looking up at the jewel-esk Inkling in confusion, all he received was a soft smile before the other disappeared once again… No… Aloha couldn’t be playing out one of the scenes from his childhood, could he? Really, only one person should know about this scene and he really did desperately convince himself that no one from his hometown was here or could recognize him… Even if such a change hurt…

However, when the pink Inkling came back again, Army really couldn’t deny that this was his childhood friend. The one that rejected his name almost as soon as he could talk. The one that immediately clung to him as they were growing up. The one that ambitiously excelled in just about everything he decided was a necessity to keep up with his older friend… He really never expected to see the pink fay that he gave that silly, yet affectionate nickname to again. But there was no doubts this was Peachy as a piece of vanilla cake was placed by his drink, pink lemonade cupcakes placed down across from it before the pink Inkling sat down with a grin.

In his stunned state, the orange Inkling could almost see the other in their blouse and crop top combo… He could almost see the light that lazily drifted past the blooming roses as they sat by that old window. Starting to come back to reality, he noticed the familiar scent of the cafe drifting through the house, likely due to his teammate’s baking. A soft melody drifted into the room from somewhere else in the house. Of course Aloha would have the old cafe’s tune. He adored it so much… Speaking of the tune he adored, it seemed as if he planned on dragging the other out of his daze with a few more lyrics he had thought of between the time they last sat together…

“I have to admit…

It was no easy feat,

But I just want to see you smile again~

Life’s not a race with time.

Never forget to take a break every now and then,

To savor the tiny moments~

To savor the tiny moments~...”

With the pink Inkling drifting off his singing, with glee he could see the stress and tension starting to melt off the other’s shoulders as it used to. Army gave his companion the same adoring smile that he did when they sat in the cafe together… And that’s all it took for the two to act as if they were back in that time. Chattering mindlessly about everything, joking around about life as they used to… Occasionally the conversation was interrupted as the pink Inkling left to get more snacks and refills on their drinks, but it wasn’t as if the pair wasn’t more than happy to just pick right back up the moment the fay sat down again.

The pair spent much longer in their blissful world than they had anticipated spending there. It was only about three when Army had arrived… And now the light changed color as twilight settled over Inkopolis… Ah, there goes that plan to call his team back to turf in thirty minutes… Perhaps Army should at least go apologize for that… As the pair got up, Army hesitantly looked down at the table.

“Ah, don’t worry about the dishes Army. I’ll take care of them, I always do~ Besides, aren’t you running a bit late?”

“Yeah, I guess I am…”

However, there was still something that needed to be done. He always used to thank his companion for bring him out in some way… Whether it was just childishly saving him the last bite of the vanilla cake he always ordered or buying him something on the way home, it was a silly ritual that he was reluctant to let go of… Though, it’s not as if he can offer much right now… Perhaps…

When the orange Inkling moved away from the table, Aloha had expected that he’d head to the door. However, the blaze surprisingly stepped closer, gently taking the fay’s hands. A slightly confused tilt of the head on the pink Inkling’s end only made the fiery Inkling smile softly. Within a moment, a gentle kiss was placed on the pink Inkling’s lips. A blush dusted his cheeks and a soft glow came from his tentacles, but he had given in to the kiss the moment to surprise wore off. When the two broke apart, Army only gave a bright grin to the other’s awed look.

“See you again tomorrow Peachy? I’m sure we didn’t finish everything…”

The pink Inkling only stayed silent a bit longer. Too many thoughts were trying to catch up with him right now… And it seemed as though the blaze knew this based on the patient smile. Eventually though, the party king did finally realize he was asked a question and that he should likely respond.

“S-Sure! S-Sorry about t-that Ari… Guess I was just caught a bit off guard…”

“Heheh… Then I’ll see you again soon, okay?”

The pink Inkling could only nod in his stunned state, a rarity for the heartthrob of Inkopolis. He usually left others in a daze… A light kiss on his cheek gently pulls him back to reality as he watches his partner. A slight wave says goodbye as he leaves the house, the door shutting with a quiet thud behind him… Perhaps the pink Inkling would need to start spending his weekends making sure he had enough of their treats to last the week from now on.

#Splatoon #splatoon manga #army #aloha #army x aloha #aloha x army

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scenariosofkonoha · 7 years

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Pein One Shot

I wrote this last year and totally forgot about it. It’s kinda AU, but whatever. I like it, but it’s super long, but if ya got the time, I’d read it. I think I had just finished AHS Freakshow, so that was kinda the inspiration; and I also thought that the way the Akatsuki went out in the series was complete BS but that's another rant.

Never has there been a story of a god who lost his power and was forced into refuge, trying to fight for survival in the land he once reigned over with the utmost glory. Not once a tale of a new almighty being taking a grip onto the entire world, causing the old one to crumble and a new one to mold. Through the centuries, seldom has such a thought come into the minds of those who have inhabited the world. For a god to become lower than the dirt he stepped on was such an obscene notion that no one ever dared to create such a tale.

Yet this was a story that had only began to be told. A new event in the human experience was unfolding within the shadows, an omnipotent falling into the clutches of one who held more authority and power, his world being torn into pieces and scraped into a new. The world of dictatorship and struggle hadn’t stood a chance once the new rulers came, but there was no single ruler to blame. It was a democracy that was forming, a democracy that had been formed with almost no riots or turmoil, something that had never happened before.

It was nearly unbelievable how smoothly the transition was, at least in the public’s eye. By some unknown miracle, every day brought a weaker and weaker dictatorship, and then one day, it was just a god forced into refuge, and a new society ready to be formed. The people, not only of Ame, but of the world, were no longer held in the chokehold of S-ranked criminals, living in fear of what these inhuman beings could do to their pitiful lives. All had come to think that they would never live in a peaceful world again, and gave up on every creating a world of their own, yet as the evils of others perished under the hand of an invisible savior, the bravery of the world grew, prepared to take on the burden of guiding a world.

Though, for those who ruled in the dictatorship, this was not the case at all. It was not something that went over easily; it was if the Akatsuki had been struck by a plague, and day after day, a new member fell, by murder or betrayal. One day the Akatsuki was in complete power with not a single notion of failure, but then it all just came crashing down without a single catalyst. It had all happened so quickly, almost as if they all had been placed under an illusion of time as someone had meticulously planned for their downfall. Not even a second was given for them to regroup and recover, and before the god knew it, his empire had fallen.

Some thought it be fate’s actions; the wrongs being righted. Those had been the last words from the woman who had spent her entire life by the god’s side, but as he remained in that moment, he thought differently. He was wiser than those who had surrounded him and he analyzed every movement of his men, every change in his nation, every flaw in the this invisible being’s plan, and had come to a revelation. This was not work done by a soulless entity; it was work done by someone who knew not only how to control people, but how to remain hidden while the world around them fell to the flames- someone very much like him.

Pein knew who had caused his downfall, and to be honest, part of him was surprised. Though, his surprise didn’t come from the ability of the one who did this, but at the fact that they were still alive and had taken such drastic steps so many years after their fallout. The god knew exactly who was the mastermind behind it all, though it had taken too long for him to come to this realization to save himself, but that was probably part of their plan anyways. Yet, he was still prepared to face this entity, even if the tables be turned from those that had been set many years ago.

And so, Pein sat silently in the rowdy tent, a place where he would have never stepped foot in if it hadn’t been this drastic. Cheering and gasps resonated against the thick canvas of the temporary walls, bringing in a high tension, so similar and so different to the one he had always been surrounded by. All seats in the makeshift arrangement were filled by every type of person that one could think of: young, old; male, female; shinobi, villager; everyone. Pein had never truly paid attention to those who created such an atmosphere among its audience, though that was not entirely his fault. Hell, it was a circus, and it was uncommon for circuses to have anyone with capable ninja skill in the line up, let alone ones able to take out his men, but now as he sat among the commoners, searching for the one who destroyed his empire, he realized that it had been his fatal mistake.

And so, no longer adorning the red clouds upon his cloak, Pein remained stoic as he watched the center ring, eyeing the slender being who remained effortlessly suspended fifty feet in the air. Long black hair was pulled tightly into a ponytail and contrasted sharply against the snow white skin and nearly transparent grey eyes as it’s owner flipped through the air and into the arms of another trapeze. Her movements were clean and precise, a perfect model for all trapeze artists throughout the entire world, but what set her apart from those around her was the fact that she had the chakra strength and control of an elite. In between each trick, a hand seal was made, it’s stealth hidden from the majority of those who witnessed, only being noticeable by those who were looking for it.

She was cunning, slyer than the devil, and Pein was well aware of that. Every move was deliberate and expertly calculated, a clear goal her mind, even if it be hidden from the rest of the world. He was certain she was the one behind everything, the true catalyst when there was thought to be none. There was no one else who could have done so much damage to him and his society. Whether it had been by her powerful genjutsu over the people, or her prototypal time jutsus used on his Akatsuki, or even her pristine plan that brought it all together, this was the girl who had caused a god to fall.

So, continuing to watch her as she defied death, Pein remained patient, waiting for the key moment that the show was over and he could approach her. He didn’t want to fight her- she had already won and he had accepted that, but he was curious to why she would have done such a thing, especially to the one who had saved her life nearly two decades ago. Twenty years ago, she was nothing but a starving child who hadn’t any idea on how to used the power that she possessed, but now, she was almost controlling the world like a doll.

She could have been one of Pein’s strongest tools in controlling the world…

But he made the mistake of underestimating her too early, and throwing out the one who was destined to be the strongest out of all his Akatsuki...

*****

Landing ever so gently on the ground, you smiled and bowed to the audience, not prideful of the tricks and flips you had completed, but of the genjutsu you had successfully placed on each and every soul in the audience, trapping their minds in a fake reality that would soon become truth. You heard the cheers and yells from every being in the tent, all riled from the finale of the show and now under your spell that would allow them the strength to continue to build their new world. You were proud of your feat, using something that seemed so evil to be used to for good, a rarity in the old world.

You took a glance over to the ringmaster, your partner in rebuilding this world, as he held his hand out to, motioning you to join him as he ended the show. Slowly, you made your way over to him, placing your hand in his, and raising it above both your heads while the rest of the circus circled around the ring. He gave a quick wink at you, fully aware that another performance, and another jutsu had been completed successfully, before he started to speak to the audience, “And we thank each and every one of you for coming to our show tonight, being witness to our tricks and charms, and truly being an audience we are not worthy of performing in front of, though we are more than happy to. I, along with my circus, are proud that you all have made us the most successful circus in the world, even in the midst of a revolution. You all are a people worthy of everything and we are merely here to lift away your worry of the every day, and I hope that is something we have accomplished by our feats of tonight.” he finished out the first part of your conclusion, looking over to you, his star in the whole circus.

Giving a smile that displayed every ounce of pride that ran through your being, you looked around at the massive crowd, all still cheering with their new found courage. Taking a deep breath, you finished everything out, sealing the deal, and making sure that you genjutsu was fully placed. It may have been a simple trick, but a little extra strength and the notion that they could do anything was going to give the people of Ame what they needed to finalize their revolution, though the hard part had already been done the second that the Akatsuki fell. “And so, let us all go out without any worry and with the awe of human ability, and create a tomorrow where we are proud of the land we live in! Let us all join together with the strength and courage that each and every one of us display right now and prove the world that we are not just a small nation suffering under a dystopian dictatorship, that we have banished the wrongful rulers, and that we are all ready to join with the other nations to create a utopia where all live in peace and equality!” you proclaimed, a leader rising.

The crowd erupted, cheering and proclaiming words that matched your own, only proving that they were ready to go into the word under your spell, ready to finish out the final steps of creation of a new world. Seeing this, you gave a quick smirk over to your partner who looked equally as prideful as if he were ready to set these people off into the world. So with this silent affirmation, you gave the final statement of the night, “Again, we thank you for coming to us tonight, and though we may not return for many days, we will all meet again! Thank you!” you called out, a final set of cheering following.

And with your final announcement, the curtains around the center ring fell, separating you from the audience. The moment this was done, you saw a change in the people around you. A calmer atmosphere came upon the other circus members, all partially tired from the long nights and the seven shows they had done back to back to back in the last three days. As this calmness came upon them as they began to head back to their tents and trailers, a tenseness came and clenched onto your partner as he let go of your hand and instead circled his arm around your slender waist. “I need to speak with you,” he calmly whispered to you, beginning to lead you out of the ring and into the back.

Slightly sighing, you just nodded, already having some idea of what he was tense about. You should have figured that an old friend of yours would have made an appearance at one of your performances this weekend, and that was something that would have put the ringleader on edge. Though this was something that he should have expected, you were on what used to be his territory, and it used to be almost off limits to you, but that was when he held the power. Now you held the power, but still, he was not one who was going to back down, so it didn’t truly surprise that he came around here, but still you were going to listen to what the ringleader had to say.

Gently guiding you through the back of the tent, he started to walk you to where the main trailers, a place where only the best of the circus resided and where he could find privacy with you. In a near whisper, he avoided the minor members, trying to keep the main point of his circus hidden from anyone besides those who needed to know. “There was someone odd in the audience…” the ringleader stated firmly as the pair of you walked through the various tents and trailers, already well aware of the fact of who it was.

“I know,” you stated, your lips in a tight line, simply because of the history you shared with this person. It wasn’t the nicest story, and it sure wasn’t the cleanest break. It was a history that had too much in all honesty; there was too much reliance, too much weakness, too many mistakes, too many unattended things. It was a pure mess; it was twenty years ago and it was tonight, and that was something that was never going to change. Each of you had seen each other go through pain, power, betrayal, and every other human experience, but instead of making the two of you stronger, it made your relationship weaker, and with the way everything ended, you didn’t know how the moment when you two met again was going to play out.

Stepping into a small trailer that belonged to him, the young man helped you into the safe haven, not wishing to speak of the matter until walls surrounded you. There were few things in this world that caused a worry in the young circus master, but when all his dreams and achievements could be hanging in the balance within mere hours, he become more than cautious. Almost instantly closing and locking the door behind the pair of you as you entered the humble home, the ringleader narrowed his eyes at you, even more unsure of what was going to happen in the near future than you were. “Y/N, why is he here?” the twenty six year old questioned you bluntly.

You simply shrugged as you walked past him and over to the small mirror that you spent a great deal of time at every day. Inspecting your now smudged and faded makeup, you really didn’t give your partner a true answer. “Kazuki, just calm down.” you offered up softly as you took up a cloth and began to wipe away the white and blue makeup that you had spent an hour putting on earlier in the day. Gingerly erasing the lines on your face, you glanced at the tense man behind you, wanting nothing more than for his worry to be gone; he was your closest companion, and for him to be in stress caused you to be in stress. “There’s nothing he can do to us. We’ve already won, and he knows that.” you stated confidently, having the utmost faith in your plans.

Still, this did not ease the brunette and he did nothing, but shake his head at you, “Y/N…” he muttered before picking up a cigarette and lighting it, trying to calm the uneasiness in his being. Normally he was one of the most confident people you could come across, but there was something about this situation that caused him to almost crumble. Blowing a line straight into the air, he shifted his focus back to you. “Y/N. You know that he will try to change your mind, or at least use your power for himself. I don’t care if we’ve already won and how far we’ve come; he’s done it before, and he will try to do it again. I know you’re strong, but there was a time where he was in the exact same position as you are now…” Kazuki stated, an obvious tension saturating his voice.

Slightly frowning at this tension, you sighed before turning around to face him, dismayed by his lack of faith. “And you need to remember who was the one who spent over a decade with this man. I know who he is and what he is capable of, and the second he lost control of the people, he became nothing. You cannot rule without having a nation behind you.” Now, you weren’t necessarily bothered that he doubted either of you, but it was something that you were not going to allow to continue, and so, standing up, you paced over to the opposite side of the trailer. Reaching him and gently taking the cigarette away from him, you gave a small nod, “Why do you worry so? You trust me, right? Have we ever failed together?” you questioned, looking for answers that were to never be spoken. Then, placing a soft hand upon his cheek, you gave him a statement, that needn't any further explanation. “Kazuki, I know you see him as a threat, but have faith in what we’ve created. It’ll always be me and you, and it’s even though it’s never been easy, we’ve always come through and succeeded, like we will now. Let this be. I will handle it, and you do not have to worry, and in the morning, all will be right.” you offered, words of purity rolling off your lips.

Looking down for a small moment, the young ringmaster stared into those nearly transparent eyes that seemed to see nothing, but the utopian future that lie ahead, and he realized that you did in fact have the world hanging on a string. He was staring at the previous god’s most beautiful and cunning angel, the one that the god cast aside foolishly and damned, but now had the world in her delicate hands. You were the maverick of their time, and Kazuki had the faith that you would remain this maverick and continue to right all the wrongs of the god before; there was too much tension between you and the god and there was too much desire to fix the world for you to fail at this point. Yes, Kazuki was well aware of your history, and your history with the pervious god, but his love with you was based upon broken bones and promises, and that was something that no one else could say. And so, he nodded and kissed the top of your head. “Ok, you take care him, but I am cursing the grounds until the sun rises.” the young man whispered before giving one last comment.

“I will not allow him to commit the same evil we committed…”

*****

Leaning against the trailer of a performer who had left the circus long ago, you rested your head against the metal wall, your eyes closed and your being simply feeling the atmosphere that surrounded you. A mixture of a heavy fog and the smoke from both cigarettes and bonfires filled the air, creating an expertly designed disguise for any who snuck around the camp this late at night, something that was a constant among your people. Whether they be sneaking around to a lover, or committing a deed not be spoken of, it was common practice for circus folk to have mastered the art. Hell, you, yourself mastered the art years ago, and still constantly used it to this day; you wouldn’t have had the world in your hands if you didn’t.

Still, for the most part, the hardest part of your scheme was over; the Akatsuki was destroyed, the lord had fallen, the people were empowered. The new world was already being created by those who deserved to create it, and so you would have retired back into a trailer hours ago, at peace at what was happening while you rested your weary body. You had done your work as the warrior who would bring the world to the new Eden and save the people from both the work of a dictator and themselves, and you were ready for them to grow on their own without you controlling everything, but with the events that were transpire tonight, you were forced to remain a constant presence in the camp.

There was part of you that wished this night would have never had happened, that you would never have had to face this man again, yet there was a small part of you that both knew better and secretly wished for him to see you like this- in power and the savior of the world even if you were not going to play such a large part anymore. You wanted him to see what he gave up on, how far you had succeeded and prospered in life, but you knew that this would not be a sweet moment that fast approaching. The pervious god that you used to have so much faith in was not someone who would go down without a fight, and would certainly not cease trying to control the world until every option was no longer available. You could remember your days with him like a child remembers a vivid nightmare, but in a sense that was what you were in those years; a poor helpless child who didn’t know her possibilities and didn’t know the world around her, at least until he came and saved you.

He took you in as that poor child, seeing endless possibilities, yet you were so young and so damaged at the time that he couldn’t use your skills to his needs, but he still kept you. An eighteen year old took in an eight year old, at first seeing it has nothing more than saving an innocent who had been terrorized by the same war he had been terrorized by, but as time went on and the original soul of the leader died, the outlook on you change. All of a sudden, that weak and starving eight year old was a twelve year old who was stronger and smarter than the original creators of the Akatsuki were at that age. You had grown and fought just to live and make sure that you were noticed, yet as you were getting stronger and more valuable, the Akatsuki in itself changed. All of a sudden, everyone was gone, save for two, and that blessed leader who had saved you long ago had the soul of another. New members were brought in; a man who had many hearts and a man who had none; a teen no older than you who had been the end of his name and a teen who who was going to make sure his name was known. They were foreign and forced you to resign to the new leader’s side, simply because you were not yet powerful enough to stand next to them, yet you were able enough to remain a trademark of the leader himself.

Almost six more years passed with you by the lord’s side, and you were no longer a child of innocence, but a woman of cunning lies and powerful tricks, though there was something odd about you that seemed so ironic to the god. It was as if you were the devil, able to charm and lure whoever you pleased, but you wanted nothing more than peace for the world around you; you had the power of evil, but the heart of good. You had become such a person that the pervious soul of the leader and the one whose soul occupied the body would have wished to spend an entity with, though that was something that was never meant to be; the fates were too cruel to create happy endings in the world.

Yes, you had become the companion to the god as he tried to make the evil in the world vanish, though as the days blurred into months and the months blurred into years, something changed in your fate. There was a point in time where you would have never left the god’s side, never letting him go and always leading him to his goal, no matter what the consequences to you. You would have given everything for that man: your soul, the heart of another, the ashes of Eden, it all could have been his with a single request to you, but then something changed in the bond between you two. To this day you did not know whether or not you came to this realization, because you yourself had grown to see the evils he had committed, or because the evils he had committed had caused you to grow. Truthfully that didn’t matter, simply because you realized that his idea of peace was nothing close your idea of peace.

Still even though you realized this, you tried to reason with him, become the conscious that he didn’t have, yet that was probably the worst mistake you ever made with that man. The second he saw doubt in you, he saw weakness. His most beautiful and cunning angel was about to fall to the ground and cause a living hell for him, so he did want every god in their right mind would do: he damned you before you could do any damage. Pein sent you out of a mission that he knew would kill you, or at least thought would kill you.

You remember the mission very clearly, the trap that was set to kill you before you could do any damage to the blessed man and his prophecy. Truthfully, it was an overly simple assault, something that almost insulted you, because you were far more intellectual than what this plan called for, but the brute strength behind it was what made it nearly impossible for you to escape. He took his own men, shinobi who had grown to know you and listen to your orders, to murder you because of your divergence from his orders. And with a the simple instruction from the dictator, that is what they did, and to be completely honest, they almost succeeded. They beat you till you were barely breathing and nearly at the end of your life, but you were god’s most beautiful angel, and even if you had fallen you were still one of the strongest and you were not going to allow this to be the end of your life. The world needed a catalyst to bring Pein down and rebuild itself on its own without living in fear of an omnipotent being ready to strike them down at any second, and you were going to be that catalyst.

That night was the first time you successfully completely a time jutsu, being able to stop time and slip away from those who used to be your allies. Yes, you were on the brink of death and the whole jutsu was sloppy and nearly killed you due to chakra depletion, but you had completed a jutsu that wasn’t even accepted as a possible jutsu in the normal world yet, and that had brought you into the arms of one who would become the backbone of your life. Pein had underestimated you that night, and that was his fatal mistake. It was his mistake to turn his own men on you; it was his mistake that caused you to use that jutsu; it was his mistake that brought you to Kazuki. You would have never met the young and confident man who was ready to take on the world if it hadn’t been for Pein crossing you; you wouldn’t have had the world in the palm of your hands if he hadn’t damned you…

And so, you remained leaning against the trailer, silently recalling the events of the past as you felt the heavy presence of the man who you used to worship come into range. There was a slight variance in the chakra you sensed, but that was most likely caused by the lack of power that the god now had and the trails that he now faced. Just as you were, he was now alone in this world, no one alive anymore who would support him. The tables were turned, but for some reason, you did not wish to see one who used to have such respect from you in such a weak state, though that wish was something was not going to be even heard, for within seconds, that undeniable voice sounded through the smog.

“There was once a time where I would have never thought that you were capable of doing so much damage so discretely, especially to one who saved you from death.” a voice stated monotonically, it’s owner coming into view slowly. Now, you weren’t surprised that he made it into the back section of the circus; it wasn’t too hard in all honesty. People came and went, whether the be children wanting a look at the animals or lovers leaving their marks on another, the back of the circus was something that was not hard to get into as long as Kazuki allowed it to be. It was his decision whether or not to allow others to enter or leave the camp, and if he decided against it, then he would curse the camp, not allowing anyone to enter or leave until daybreak, or they would suffer under his hand until death. It may have been a harsh fate, but unforgiving measures must be taken during a revolutions, and the current curse on the grounds could possibly be it for the fallen god.

Glancing over to him, you stayed stoic as you looked to him with the same eyes that looked to your assassins. Cooly, your words came out like you didn’t even have to think, “And there was once a time where I believed in the same future you did, but obviously the years have changed the both of us, for now I am more capable than you ever thought and the future that is unfolding in front of us is the one that I saw, not the one you tried to force.” you commented, bringing many truths out into the open with a single phrase.

“Y/N.” he answered, his tone acting as if he didn’t believe what you were saying.

“What?” you replied, not letting any time slip away from you. The quicker that this confrontation was over, the better, though there were other thoughts in the fallen god’s mind.

For a moment, he just stared at you, analyzing your appearance and presence, seeing how you had grown and changed as a person, but to be brutally honest, there wasn’t much that he had to analyze. Yes, you were no longer teenager, it had been almost nine years since you had lost that title, but your presence and the way you carried yourself hadn’t changed in the slightest; the only difference in today’s instance was that you led with another and not him. You still had that faith and justice and morality that he had seen the day that Yahiko came back to the hideout, a small child clutching on to him for dear life. A tiny child who could barely even remember where she came from had more integrity than the entirety of fallen leader’s army, and to this day, the soul who occupied the body of the one who saved that child could barely understand it.

Though, there was a lot Pein didn’t understand about the moment, or even about you, so he simply asked one of the first questions that he ever thought of when he realized that it was you behind it all. “How did you even survive? There was absolutely no way that you could have survived an ambush from that team, not with their physical strength against yours.” he questioned, beginning right off where his demised started.

Pushing yourself off of the trailer, so that you stood up straight and were now full facing the Rinnegan user, you shook your head, almost in disbelief about his naivety. “Physical strength is not everything in this world, and you know that; you just thought at the time that I wouldn’t be able to overpower that lot and that they would succeed with their mission. At that point, I knew you had doubt in me, and I knew that you had stopped paying as much attention to me as you had in the past, and that was probably the worst mistake you made. My genjutsu rivaled Itachi Uchiha’s and I had been dealing with time and space jutsus, and that was something you didn’t know. There were times where you just looked at me like I was nothing more than an ornament to a god’s side, but in reality, I was your devil. I was the one who was so close to you that you didn’t see the extreme differences between the two of us until it was too late, and then you simply casted me away in defense, not even trying to work with me. You didn’t know what I was capable of at that time, and that was what allowed me to survive.” you offered up the truth, knowing that this was probably the last time that you would ever see this man, and that he at least deserved the truth.

“They said you were bleeding to death; that you had taken so many fatal hits that there was absolutely no way to survive.”

Hearing this, you simply scoffed, “You don’t understand time and space jutsus do you? I was able to bend time, able to stop them and get myself out of there. Yes, I was bleeding to death, but history repeats itself, Pein. Just as Yahiko found me dying in the rain, Kazuki found me and saved me.” you offered up, bringing your closest companion into the story now. “I’ve been with him ever since, and with him, we brought down your Akatsuki and rebuilt a world that was stuck in the terror you placed it in.”

Already knowing much about this man, Pein just nodded, adding comments about the young ring leader. “He’s a healer and a master genjutsu user. He’s just like you; sly and cunning, able to convince anyone of anything. He was the one who convinced Itachi to leave the Akatsuki and Deidara to return to being a sole terrorist.” Pein stated, bringing up the end of two of his main members.

You just nodded, “Together, we either killed those in the Akatsuki, or convinced them to leave. We committed evils to get rid of the evils, and then once those evils were finished, we began to charm the people into the realization that they did not need you, and that they could lead a nation by themselves. We used evil to create good, and we have succeed. We had wills that wanted nothing but peace, not the lie of peace that was truly nothing more an a dictatorship.” You answered.

“You killed Konan.”

“Yes, I alone killed her. Kazuki had nothing to do with that. She was the last pillar to you, and that was something that we needed to get rid of.”

Again, he just looked at you, this time not necessarily looking for answers. Hearing the heartless tone in your voice as you spoke of the murder of the woman who had be an ally to you for so many years made Pein realize that he had truly lost you. You had moved onto a future where you led and guided those to a life in which was best for them, not what was best for him. You had turned his Eden into nothing more than ashes, and you didn’t even care about his well being. You had left him and belonged to another now, and not only did you succeed with the other, you acted as if you were meant to stay with him. And so, he made one of the final comments that you would ever hear from him. “You used to be so faithful…”

“Pein…” you frowned slightly, still slightly unwilling to tell him the truth that he should have realized long ago as you heard his comment. Slightly pursing your lips, you slowly shook your head as you stated something from decades ago, “I was always faithful to you. I would have done anything for you, anything at all. You just had to say the word and I would have had it done. Yahiko saved me from the Hell I was living, and I owed him my life, and so when he died, I owed his legacy and dreams my life. Yahiko and I believed in a lot of the same things, and you never realized how much I relied on him when I was a child. I owe him everything I am today, and I doubt you and Konan really saw the struggle it put me through after he died. Yes, you two were close to him, yet the bond I shared with him was something that differed greatly from your’s and Konan’s. I dedicated myself to his dream, just as you did, and in the beginning we shared the same dream, but as things went on and others came into the picture, your dream started to shift and you gave in to those who wanted something far different than from what Yahiko wanted. Pein, I stayed faithful to Yahiko. This is was what Yahiko wanted. I never strayed from my faith.” you proclaimed gently, bringing the truth out into the musky night.

And after that, the god said nothing at all.

Knowing that you were in your final moments with him, you gave a final saying. “Pein, there are no gods in this world. Heaven and Hell do not exist in this land, and they will no longer, because we have discarded the idea of an almighty dictator. The people of this nation need to be alone and create the society and world that they desire, without any help from beings like us. They know the turmoil and suffering they have felt through the decades of endless wars, and now they are beginning to lift those pains and make their lives into something worth living, which was what I planned for. I did not bring down your empire because of revenge and hatred; I brought down your empire to live out a dream that you abandoned years ago; the dream Yahiko lived and died for.” you offered out, slight pain in your being as you remember the young man who had treasured you so.

Still, silence came from the being in front of you.

So, knowing that there wasn’t much to be said, you crossed your arms and gave a nod to him, no longer speaking to the body, but the soul who controlled it. “Nagato, realize that I will always look at Yahiko in a light that has eternal glory, but I cannot stand by someone who allowed that hope of peace to fall out of their hands and be molded by evils who want nothing, but selfish desires. I created Yahiko’s promise land, even it meant destroying what you created…” you trailed off, you eyes falling away from those who shared the Rinnegan, knowing that your departure was coming. “Wait till dawn, and then go.” you whispered softly before those transparent eyes gave the fallen one last look, “Save yourself, Nagato. It’s over; the Akatsuki has fallen. Please, it’s time to put Yahiko to rest and finally live in the peace that he wanted, it’s least you can do…” you gingerly offered before turning around and beginning to walk away from him, your final ties with the Akatsuki being severed…

You may have been the devil to the Akatsuki, but to the new world, you were their most beautiful angel, the one who saved them from themselves and allowed them to build a world very much like the one a young leader dreamed of years ago. You had done what your savior wanted, and you knew deep down that Yahiko would have praised that young child he had found lying on the side of the road, and with that, you were finally able to rest…

#this is long #ugh #what do you guys think #i want feedback on this #yahiko #nagato #pein #akatsuki #naruto writing

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