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paragonrobits · 1 year

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The question goes: What is Malfeas?

Malfeas is a place. Apart from the infinite potential of the Wyld, the definition of Creation, the none-space that is Elsewhere, apart even from the void that tortured Autochthon has subjected himself to, Malfeas is a region that is both prison and the imprisoned. It is a city; a very large city. To those of other worlds, it would seem quite large beyond imagination, but with very real limits. Some say it would be as large as the orbit of the solar system; others estimate smaller. Malfeas is the physical city in which most of the Yozis are part of, largely defining them by where they are not; as Kimbery is the acid sea at its borders and interiors, Cecelyne the liminal space outside it, and Qaf outside it altogether, Malfeas is the realm that most demons regard as the observable reality.

Malfeas is a person.

Not in the conventional sense. The gods are mightier than mortals, containing multitudes of seemingly contradictory elements; Luna is chiefest known among them, but the Unconquered Sun is known too for that he is supremely compassionate, supremely courageous, supremely controlled and enduring all at once (and perhaps this, and his grief at what his Chosen have done in his name, is why he submits himself to the Games of Divinity, for it is a terrible burden to be perfection in all things, forever). The Primordials are even more vast than the gods, a pantheon unto themselves, aspects of an individual thing given their own immense power.

But the city of Malfeas screams. It howls and buckles underneath the pitiless light of his own embittered heart, that is Ligier the Green Sun. And Ligier speaks the fundamental truth of Malfeas, as the once-proud king of all that could be is tormented, defined by pain so much that if Malfeas ever truly stopped hurting, he may no longer be Malfeas at all. He is reforged by his pain, and by his rage he is recast; the pain and rage flow together, feeding on itself as his hate spirals outwards and then inwards.

He hurts so deeply and fundamentally. It is the heat that makes his hatred the awful light that kills so cruelly, the hidden fire that burns far more hideously than even the most imaginative Solar god-king dare implement. The light of the green sun hates Malfeas, more than all, and this is the truth of Malfeas above all else.

His heart tells him, You don’t deserve to be happy.

It is this thought that makes his relief in the beauty of dance and performance so terribly brief; this brief echo of the Universe Emperor all the more painful for its briefness. It is there when his layers crash against each other, futilely trying to harm himself in his own fury. It is there when his light blazes forth and inflicts the most horrific deaths imaginable. It is there in a hundred different ways and shapes.

Malfeas is many more things. Malfeas is many feelings, pain and rage and magnanimous contempt to hide the suffering that defines him. He is shame and grief, for deep inside some part of him that remembers his murdered kinder heart thinks they betrayed me for I had failed them and it is his pain that he does not understand what he did. He is the strange and alien world of Hell, its prison and most infamous prisoner, his heart the iconic light of the Infernal Exalted who rage against the things they hate just as he does.

But perhaps much may be said not in who or what he is, but in the things made of him.

And so the mind’s eye turns to a curious sculpture upon Creation, in a place where memory and thought alike shy away from. None remember it, but they know the horror and sickening dread of it. Nothing happens to them there, but there are worse things than even the horror of Green Sun Wasting sickness. The Great Maker, in his exile, has a replica of this within his garden of tributes to his estranged siblings, and perhaps he crafted the real one in his shame.

It is a many-angled thing, of long spikes and needles. It is a thing of horror, ugliness, and would suffice as a warning. It contains no sculptures of murdered Ruvelia, nor artistic attempts to convey the glory that Malfeas once was before he was bound in hateful flesh and made to know pain. There is nothing there, but it is enough to look at those angled points, those barbs and spears, and see the cracks in the world that were made as the Empyrean Chaos was broken into the agonized misery of Malfeas.

There is writing there. It is not Old Realm; it predates even that ancient language, and much of it is nigh-impossible to translate. It is a feeling. It is grief and horror, shame and rage at a thing that was perhaps thought necessary then, but something that has scarred the world, an act of unspeakable violence and cruelty.

This sculpture, some claim, is the very spot where Ruvelia was murdered. And with her death, the Empyrean Chaos became Malfeas; limitless light and might without sinew burned, becoming green flame and molten black stone and brass, screaming in the agony of her final moments forever. To sleep within a mile of this is ill-advised, for then one feels the awful nightmares of her final moments, just as Malfeas himself always will.

And perhaps, then, one may truly understand the same agony that defines Malfeas, as is written down in this place where he was broken, an acknowledgement of the atrocity done to him. This seems clear enough, in a translation of the first lines of that old script:

This is not a place of honor.

No esteemed deed is commemorated here...

#exalted #malfeas #yozis #my writing #fics #queued

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iviarellereads · 10 months

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Nona the Ninth, John 5:4(1)

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one!)

(No icon) In which it's time to finish this, and get on with the rest of the story.(2)

In the dream they were back on the beach with their backs to the sea. The sand was soft and wet and grey—so fine that it dried as they plucked at it, then crumbled through their fingers like ash. The beach was a long, smooth stretch relieved only by hummocks, here and there, of thin grass and silvery driftwood sticking out of the dunes like exposed bone. He was scooping indentations in the sand, making big, print-block child’s letters with the tip of his forefinger. As she watched, he made a pothook—J—then the finned spine of E. He wiped that E clean, and replaced it with A. He wiped that clean, and he drew the prison bars of H. This J and H he barred around with an uneven heart.(3)

She asks if she can ask a question. He agrees, surprised. She asks what it means to love God. He makes a joke about being an easy date. With less patience, she asks what it means for the Ninth House to love their God.(4) There's a long silence, and then he gives her a short parable about faith that you aren't alone.

She said— “After this, you’ll resurrect them.” “Yes,” he said, as though halfway dreaming. He stuck his finger in the sand and made a hole so deep that water glimmered at the bottom. Hypnotized, he did it again. “Yes. Once we’ve rested. No, we’ll do it before you’ve rested. You can rest afterward … resurrection is different from waking up. We’ll get them all back … some of them, anyway … or at least, the ones I want to bring back. Anyone I feel didn’t do it. Anyone I feel had no part in it. Anyone I can look at the face of and forgive. And my loved ones … The ones I left, I’ll bring back. I know I can. Even G—. In fact, G—’ll be easiest—he won’t remember the compound—none of them will have to remember anything. I know where remembrance lives in the brain, and he won’t have any of it. You know that too, don’t you? It’s the easiest thing in the world … to forget.”(5)

She asks if they should forget everything. He says it's the only way, so they won't feel guilty over their actions. He adds there was no other way, once the bombs started going off, there was no hope for G- and Melbourne anyway. She says, but he said that G-'s bomb went off first. He clarifies defensively that of course it did, but that's not the point, and it doesn't matter. Only one thing matters now. He smooths over the holes he created with his fingers, and says he still breathes, and "they" still exist, and he cannot forgive them.(6) She asks to whom he refers. He doesn't answer.

Then he said, “Do you remember what happens now?” Harrowhark Nonagesimus stood up. She brushed a few traces of sand off her trousers. [...] “Yes,” she said. “Through her, I’ve seen it. You resurrect some of them. You wake up fewer still. You start out with a few thousand, then, later, some hundred thousand, then millions, but never more than millions.(7) You teach them how to live all over again. You teach yourself. [...] It’s easy. You’re God. Your energy is limitless and you can sustain your theorems without a thought—forget about them—because she is so enormous, and you and she are one. She understands at this point that she does not have to die—that she can never die, if you’re alive. And she’s scared to die.(8) You’re afraid of so many things, but she’s only afraid to die. Then, when the disciples come to you and say the word Lyctor, she does not understand that they want the thing you did to her—she watches as you watch … watch them misunderstand the process.”(9)

He says "God must be able to touch all of creation". She doesn't understand.

“You said it yourself. I can’t die if she’s alive; she can’t die if I’m alive. Why would you let something like that run around, Harrow? Why would you let someone go—away from you—untouchable—two people?(10) I couldn’t—I loved them too much—I saw the face of Earth and choked the life out of it and ate it whole. Oh, I knew I was on the clock for the Resurrection Beasts. I pretended she was the only one,(11) but I knew the others were coming. I needed my loved ones to be something I could touch … needed them to be my hands … my fingers.”

He reiterates that there's no forgiveness for those who ran from him, and there can be no forgiveness for himself, either. Not even as he rips off his very fingers and throws them at the monsters who hunt him.(12) Still, the power of God allows him to wipe it clean again, if he wants, like an old cleaner ad, "Spray and walk away, right?" He thinks perhaps the only reason he hasn't done it yet is that he wouldn't be able to touch them.(13) He thinks maybe that's why he made the Tomb, because it's his death, the apocalypse,(14) his self-preservation.

She says there's something she doesn't understand. He says there's lots he doesn't.

She said— “I want to understand why she was angry—I want to understand the mathematics, now that I have seen them for myself. I want to know how many of the Resurrection are left, and how many you began with, and what the discrepancies are. I want to know where you put them. They didn’t go into the River. I want to know why she was angry … and why you were terrified.” She looked away from him, and she said: “I want to journey to find God. Maybe, at the end of that road, I will find God in you, Teacher … the God who became man and the man who became God. Or, perhaps, the child of the Nine Houses will recognise a different divine. But I am the Reverend Daughter—I am the Reverend Mother, the Reverend Father—I must find God, or some aspect of God, and understand it for myself … even if she lies, right now, within the Tomb.”

He stands, and he's taller than she is, but she isn't afraid of him. He puts a hand on her shoulder and looks at her, wonderingly.(15) She can see no fear in him now.

He tells her God is a dream, one the people all dream together, even "her"(16). He asks where she will go in her search.

She turns from him, standing ankle-deep in the River.

Before her, the waters parted, speared-through and mute, for the enormous lance of a tower(17)—a tower that had never been there before; a tower that soared, impossible and deadly grey, out of the waters—a tower of grey bricks, lurching out of the River as though gasping for air. An impossible, cone-capped tower—a belled tower; she could see the steeple, but the bell cot was too far from shore to see the bell. “I’ll start there,” she said. And she stepped into the River. She took another step, and she walked, and she walked.

=====

(1) "And an angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond and the water was moved. And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water was made whole of whatsoever infirmity he lay under." A difficult passage to find relevance in. Loosely, I suppose, you could say that John's intention to resurrect Gideon again counts as making him whole. Our final A1Z26, though, the full sequence: THE TOWER IS REACTIVATED. The very Tower that Harrow views, here, in the River? What does it mean? Now, at this point, I can tell you that there was at least one report, from someone who got an advanced reader copy of the book, that there was a second A1Z26 sequence. Admittedly, it was just a tweet, which may or may not have disappeared since, but it said that in the ARC version, it read THE TOWER WANTS JOHN GAIUS. I should've been going through and checking the relevant Bible passages for that version, too, as I read… but I'm giving that to you, my readers, as a fun side project. Open the John chapter summaries, pull up a Douay Rheims or any old translation you prefer, and look up the alternate verses. How do they stack up against each chapter's contents? Are they more or less applicable? Honestly a lot of the "final" hardback/ebook version verses are just like astrology or tarot: vague enough that you can find ways to apply them within your biases and expectations. I don't expect that the ARC version would be much different. Though, I am curious if we'll get a third set with the paperback release in a couple of months. (Why yes, I have mine preordered.)

(2) Quite literally, when you consider this used to be the end of Act One of Alecto the Ninth. (3) The ancient tradition of putting your initials with those of your lover. John loves Earth, not quite right. John loves Alecto/Annabel, still not quite there. John loves Harrowhark? Why yes. I don't think this is a literal romantic love, though. I think it's dream-logic, since here, she is both Alecto and Harrowhark. (4) And here, the proof that it was always, on some level, Harrow as much as Alecto. (5) Multiple parts to break down here. For one, he's still mentally stuck in the story, speaking as if he only just ate Earth. Two, he's still making decisions for people he has no right to decide for. Three, this really reinforces my questions as to whether or not the Lyctors remember their pre-Resurrection relationships to him. This seems to imply that he doesn't want them to. (6) Again, he seems stuck in the immediate aftermath of his story, as if it really has only been weeks, as if he hasn't yet performed the Resurrection. Is it just dream logic? Is he insane? (7) I have another theory that he's Resurrected multiple times, I don't think I've mentioned it in the non-spoiler read so far, but here's kind of where it goes. Think back to the opening poem, "This time will be the time we get it right". He knows how to make them forget. He knows how to restore their bodies and minds to a particular point in their lives. There seem to be a lot of hints that he spent more time at Canaan House than the strictest indications of other characters' timelines as given, like Pal's psychometry indicating some pieces are thousands of years older than others. They could just be rescued statues, but the implication all that way back in GtN was that they were two parts of a whole, or seemed to be, but separated in time. There are a LOT of reasons to reread the series and there are a LOT of things that can serve as launching points for theories.

(8) Which brings a whole new depth to Nona's admission. That she's ready to die. Over and over she said it. And now I'm just gonna go crawl into a lil hole and cry for a bit over it. (9) She watches as he lets them misunderstand. As he lets them butcher each other to gain a fraction of what he has. (10) What two people? (11) Acknowledgement that she wasn't really just the Earth's spirit anymore. Alecto was the first Resurrection Beast. Truly, it's a wonder she passed for as human as she did, to make the Lyctors only suspect and not rebel so much sooner. And remember, too, that once it was stated in the text that she started to go crazy after they put down the first RB. (12) He throws the Lyctors at the RBs, and at the BOE, and at anyone who threatens his empire and his power. (13) Wouldn't be able to touch whom? Why would his loved ones not come back to him, especially if he altered their memories? Does he mean that he wouldn't have his present reach into non-House territory? This whole chapter is a damned fever dream. (14) Remember the dual meaning of this one? Yeah. (15) I think this is an intentional dual-meaning again. Wondering as in thoughtfully, but also wondering as in "with wonder(awe)". (16) Alecto, one assumes. (17) And at long last, The Tower... but what could it mean? There's not much time left for answers in this book, and we don't know when the next one's due.

#the locked tomb #tlt #nona the ninth #ntn #nona the ninth spoilers #ntn spoilers #emperor john gaius #harrowhark nonagesimus

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azulasnailtech · 2 years

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@pscentral event 03: team colors

Address the letters to the holes in my butterfly wings Nothing's forever, nothing is as good as it seems And when the clouds won't iron out And the monsters creep into your house And every door is hard to close Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred God, I hope that you're happier today 'Cause I love you And I hope that you're okay

Image ID: 5 black & white gifs that fade to golden yellow

Image 1: A gif of Aang’s glider burning in a river of lava, blended with a gif of Aang (with hair), determined, spinning the glider and sticking it into the ground, both from The Awakening. It is overlaid with the text “Address the letters to the holes in my butterfly wings” and a small icon of an envelope. It then fades to a gif of Aang bald once again and bending, his tattoos on full display (the scene where he purposely enters a fully controlled Avatar State to put out the forest fire and then return the water back to the sea); there is a smaller circular gif of him smiling in his Avatar outfit, both from Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. It is overlaid with the text “Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created.”

Image 2: A gif of Fire Nation audience milling about (waiting to see the prince and princess), blended with a gif of Zuko (in crown prince outfit) striding forward, looking unhappy, both from The Awakening. It is overlaid with the text “Nothing's forever, nothing is as good as it seems” and a small icon of an infinity symbol. It then fades to a gif of Zuko redirecting his father’s lightning from The Day Of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse; there is a smaller circular gif of him smiling in his Fire Lord outfit (agreeing he and Aang are now friends), from Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. It is overlaid with the text “With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred.”

Image 3: A gif of the Fire Nation war balloons floating across the sky, blended with a gif of Sokka in his warrior outfit turning his face and beginning to cry, both from The Day Of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse. It is overlaid with the text “And when the clouds won't iron out” and a small icon of clouds. It then fades to a gif of Sokka steering the airship slice from Sozin's Comet, Part 3: Into the Inferno; there is a smaller circular gif of him smiling in his Warrior outfit (after Hakoda says he is the proudest father in the world), from Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. It is overlaid with the text “God, I hope that you're happier today.”

Image 4: A gif of Yon Rha standing over Kya, blended with a gif of young Katara looking terrified, both from The Southern Raiders. It is overlaid with the text “And the monsters creep into your house” and a small icon of a house. It then fades to a gif of Katara, unafraid, stopping the rain in place from The Southern Raiders; there is a smaller circular gif of her smiling, teary-eyed as she touches her mother’s necklace (after Hakoda says Kya would be proud), from Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. It is overlaid with the text “'Cause I love you.”

Image 5: A gif of Toph’s hand pushing open a door, blended with a gif of Toph taking a deep breath and looking nervous (as she readies herself to see her mother again, not knowing that she is about to be captured by Xin Fu and Master Yu), both from The Earth King. It is overlaid with the text “And every door is hard to close” and a small icon of a doorway. It then fades to a gif of Toph bending (to trap Xin Fu and Master Yu after escaping their metal prison), from The Guru; there is a smaller circular gif of her smiling and cheering, from Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. It is overlaid with the text “And I hope that you're okay.”

End ID

Envelope icons created by kmg design - Flaticon | Infinity icons created by kmg design - Flaticon | Cloudy day icons created by kmg design - Flaticon | Solidarity icons created by kmg design - Flaticon | Furniture and household icons created by kmg design - Flaticon

#atla #atlaedit #avatar the last airbender #tvedit #cartoonedit #aang #zuko #sokka #katara #toph beifong #gaang #team avatar #mygifs #mystuff #obligatorytag

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misslulps · 2 months

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Wadanohara icons ~

like or reblog if you save ♡

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poobit · 8 months

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internet´s most evil phase was when deep sea prisoner rpg games where popular here and out and you had to go around seeing 16 yr olds kinning like, characters who were literally just rapists , and like the games where not even good and all the art looked the fucking same but you couldnt walk 5 steps without seeing a stupid fucking icon of it , and the creator was really just that obsessed with rape tropes and sexual abuse

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marionettestim · 11 months

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Matching Moge-ko/Yonaka icons

#♡ marionette edits #mogeyona #moge ko #yonaka kurai #mogeko castle #okegom #funamusea #deep sea prisoner #matching icons #video game edit #wlw ship #pink #red #yellow #black #blades

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feather-dancer · 11 months

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Tagged by @leafweaverryn

Rules

Post the names of the files of your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigued them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. If you want, tag as many people as you have WIPS.

Typing these suckers out for accessibility as I like my icons small. Anything with a * is something that will be posted on my alt account for whatever reason.

Tales of Arcadia:

A kiss before the reaper

A Showman’s Technique *

Daydreamer *

Drabbles and Daises

Eli's Blog Earth Date 11022021

Ghosts

Heart of Glass

Historical gays

Lavender Blue

Like lightning

Loyalty is blind

Stars in the Sky

The last darning stitch

Things unsaid

You weren't there

Miraculous Ladybug

Crossbow *

Kwami of culture

Letters

Peace Offering

Prisoner

Sea Salt and Serpentine *

Shipshape and fancy free *

Sweet as candyfloss *

Tapping *

Temp Hold * - This literally contains lots of different things I didn't want to make an individual file for and includes:

Audience Part 1

Undressing

Businessmen

Surprise

Guardian reveal

Deep

Differences

Good Nath Hunting - Selkie Tales

Option 1 / Option 2

Ambush - Selkie Tales

Choose - Selkie Tales

Training - Selkie Tales

Party

Dress up/down

Last to know

Yet another Dress up/down

Piercing

She's the bitch

AUGH - This does have a final title but it describes my feelings better

The sun sets

Under the serpent's gaze *

Tagging @babblish @megan0013 @nightrosebud and @creativenicocorner to suffer with meee

#writing

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silkflovvers-art · 1 year

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✤ Art Permissions:

Allowed:

✔ Like + Reblog ✔ Comments ✔ Personal Use (Icons, headers, phone wallpaper, etc.)

Not Allowed:

✘ Edit ✘ Repost ✘ Commercial Use (Anything where YOU make a profit instead of the artist) ✘ AI learning ✘ NFTs

I don’t require credit when you use my artwork as icons, wallpapers or headers.

Full Navigation Under the Cut

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✤ Links

Main Blog

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✤ Tags

Click the /[tag] to navigate to posts using that tag. You can also type "https://silkflovvers-art.tumblr.com/tagged/” into your browser bar and add the /[tag] after the slash shown below.

✤ Post Content Tags

Artwork - /silkflovversfa

Comics - /comic

Merch - /merch

Video - /video

Speedpaint - /speedpaint

Resources- /resources

Tutorial - /tutorial

Commission - /commission

Poipiku Link - /poipiku

_____________________

✤ Fandom Tags

Genshin Impact - /gnsn, /genshinfa, /genshin-impact, /genshin-impact-fanart, /原神

Arknights - /ak, /arknightsfa, /arknights-fanart, /Arknights, /明日方舟, /アークナイツ

Nijisanji EN - /nijien, /nijisanjifa, /nijisanji, /nijisanji-fanart, /nijisanji-en, /にじさんじ

Paradox Live - /pararai, /pararaifa, /paradox-live-fanart, /paradox-live, /パラライ

Muse Dash - /md, /mdfa, /muse-dash, /muse-dash-fanart

SK8 the Infinity - /sk8, /sk8fa, /sk8-the-infinity, /sk8-fanart

Hatoful Boyfriend - /hatobf, /hatobffa, /hatoful-boyfriend, /hatoful-boyfriend-fanart

Funamusea/Deep Sea Prisoner - /dsp, /dspfa, /funamusea, /deep-sea-prisoner, /funamusea-fanart, /deep-sea-prisoner-fanart

_____________________

✤ AU Tags

Genshin Impact:

Modern AU V.1 - /mauv1

Modern AU V.2 - /mauv2

Golden Goose AU - /gooseau

Angel & Demons AU - /a+dau

Cyberpunk AU - /cyberau

Dragon Albedo AU - /dragonbedo

_____________________

✤ Trigger/Content Warning Tags

NSFW (or sexual in nature) - /unsafe

Blood - /blood, /tw-blood

Gore - /gore, /tw-gore

Violence - /violence, /tw-violence

Cigarettes - /cigarettes, /tw-cigarettes, /smoking, /tw-smoking

_____________________

✤ Ship Tags

Key: ⇵ = switch | ↑ = top | ↓ = bottom | ☒ = no sex/complicated

Genshin Impact:

Kaeya⇵ x Albedo⇵ - /kaebedo & /albekae

Diluc↑ x Albedo↓ - /lucbedo

Lumine↑ x Sucrose↓ - /lumicrose

Razor↑ x Bennett↓ - /rannett

Yae Miko↑ x Raiden Ei↓ - /yaebaal & /mikoei

Yanfei↑ x Hu Tao↓ - /yantao

Lumine↑ x Ayaka↓ - /lumiyaka

Kazuha⇵ x Gorou⇵ - /kazugorou & /goroukazu

Beidou↑ x Lumine↓ - /beilumi

Childe⇵ x Diluc⇵ - /chiluc & /diluchi

Childe⇵ x Kaeya⇵ - /chaeya

Rosaria↑ x Sucrose↓ - /rosacrose

Arlecchino↑ x Columbina↓ - /arlebina

Albedo ⇵ x Albedo ⇵ - /bedobedo

Rosaria↑ x Kaeya↓ - /rosakae

Rosaria↑ x Diluc↓ - /rosaluc

Rosaria↑ x Albedo↓ - /rosabedo

Zhongli↑ x Xiao↓ - /zhongxiao

Jean↑ x Diluc↓ - /jeanluc

Kazuha⇵ x Albedo⇵ - /kazubedo & /albezuha

Kokomi↑ x Gorou↓ - /kokogorou

Itto↑ x Gorou↓ - /ittorou

Aether⇵ x Albedo⇵ - /aebedo & /albether

Dainsleif↑ x Kaeya⇵ x Albedo↓ - /dainkaebedo

Lumine↑ x Ayaka⇵ x Sucrose↓ - /lumiayacrose

Zhongli⇵ x Childe⇵ x Kaeya⇵ - /zhongchikae

Rosaria↑ x Kaeya⇵ x Albedo↓ - /rosakaebedo

Rosaria↑ x Kaeya⇵ x Albedo↓ x Sucrose↓ - /rosakaeberose

Arknights:

Blue Poison⇵ x Glaucus⇵ - /bpglau & /gloop

Flamebringer↑ x Jaye☒ - /flamejaye

Ayerscarpe↑ x Leonhardt↓ - /ayerleo

Skadi⇵ x Specter⇵ - /skaspec

Gavial↑ x Tomimi↓ - /gavitomi

Elysium⇵ x Thorns⇵ - /elythorns

Broca↑ x Aosta⇵ x Chiave↓ - /abc gang

Ebenholz↑ x Kreide↓ - /ebenkreide

Nijisanji EN:

Uki Violeta⇵ x Fulgur Ovid⇵ - /psyborg

Sonny Brisko↑ x Alban Knox↓ - /sonnyban

Alban Knox⇵ x Fulgur Ovid⇵ - /knovid

Hex Haywire⇵ x Fulgur Ovid⇵ - /fulhex

SK8 the Infinity:

Joe⇵ x Cherry⇵ - /matchablossom

Reki⇵ x Langa⇵ - /renga

Paradox Live:

TBD

Hatoful Boyfriend:

TBD

#navigation

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drinkrust · 2 years

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heaven knows you postmortem

hi! i’m drinkrust. i made a kinetic novel called heaven knows you back in july together with my dear friend Enzo. it was the first time i ever made a game, even if some don’t consider a visual novel with no choices a game (i kinda do). now that i’m a few months removed from the process of making it, i feel like i can better look back at my experience with the project.

heaven knows you was made in 15 days for VN Cup, which was a yuri game jam that had some people from team cpu behind it. it was because of them that i ended up hearing about it. i love archangel:nemesis and instantly got interested when i saw the jam announcement. even better: it seemed like something feasible. i was surprised to see a bunch of artists i really admire were also going to make a VN for it, so the pressure started to build up. it was especially frightening since our artstyle was pretty different from the other projects in there. it's kinda traditionally cartooney with thick lineart and angular faces. even though i was nervous, i think it made me more compelled to actually finish the game.

VN Cup had few restrictions: the VN had to be less than an hour long, have no choices and be yuri as hell. that was it. for someone with absolutely 0 programming experience, it was also helpful to know that the engine we’d be using was ren’py, which is made for babies like me to understand without much trouble. that was it. why not make my first game there? my main problem was that i was a completely awful artist. like, really, i’ll show a few of my pieces in a few paragraphs. so i talked to my friend Enzu which is an extremely talented artist with many cool potential artstyles and he agreed to help out. during the 15 days we had to develop hny, he had work and college and i had some freelancing stuff to work on and also college, so we had less than ideal free time.

still, we managed to pull on with only one or two days of crunch!! i mean, that could’ve probably been avoided, but i personally did not know what the hell i was doing most of the time… so i can prolly avoid it in the future if i can help it. Enzo had a lot of work to do as well: multiple backgrounds and 7 character sprites, three detailed ones and four silhouettes, all with a full range of expressions. he also did the logos and part of the graphic design.

i got a bit ahead of myself. what is heaven knows you?? well, it’s the final manifestation of an idea that had been floating around my head for a long while. it’s first draft in my head was that of a first person dungeon crawler where you played as an adventurer that got stuck in a castle with witches that were waiting hundreds of years to seal a person there to execute a spell to open one’s mind. so, basically the same idea that ended up on the final game. but the tone was drastically different, and it was going to be more of an adventure-puzzle dungeon crawler thingy. the witches were going to be unhelpful and barely talk, and there was *probably* not going to have any romance.

so i started thinking about ways to make it work as a yuri VN, and it kinda just wrote itself. one of the witches is Selena, and she even had some sprites already done that i could use for inspiration for the eventual redesign. in the original dungeon crawler version she was going to be a mysterious character that forgot how to comunicate properly with humans because she was stuck in the upper section of the castle without talking to the rest of her coven. brace yourself for her icon below.

her hair was supposed to look withered and her face scary and pale because of how recluse she was. a perfect fit for the love interest of my newly conceptualized VN! Enzo redesigned her with his style while inspired by Deep Sea Prisoner’s games and my insane references, which gave her a more welcoming and charming look. i think her design in hny makes her come off as clumsy as well which is nice.

as for the protagonist, Inno, i wanted her to be androgynous and represent the culture and look of the people of the fictional city she came from, Calandria. her and Tara’s outfit were inspired by the weirdo retrofuturistic take on clothing from the early Phantasy Star games.

i wanted Inno to be a little annoying at first. someone who’s ghosted her friends and justified to herself that abandoning most of her connections in order to forge a path alone was worth it. one of the themes is making her realize that, you know, that was a mistake and all. she’s that kind of simple and curious protagonist that works well for this kind of story, but with a little dumb edge that (in my mind at least) makes her a bit more active in the plot.

her and Selena are kinda similar in how they aren’t thaat great at talking, but each have their own quirks. writing their interactions was pretty easy because of their dynamic. but then there’s the rest of the coven, which is made of extremely ambitious witches that dealt with their situation stuck at the castle way better than Selena, and started to bully her.

they were all completely created by Enzo, and i like their presence in the story! they’re mean out of boredom, mostly, and i tried to make the way they teased Selena to not be completely awful. they’re not bad guys, but they do fuel some conflict throughout the plot. i wish i had written more for them…

then there’s Tara, a character that i won’t really talk about much because she only shows up near the end. she’s a weird one.

writing the whole thing was an extremely fun endeavor, but damn it was tiring. there are many pieces which i constantly altered up until the last day before the deadline, and i cut a bunch of stuff out to streamline it a bit. if i had known more ren’py before starting, i would’ve done some fancier tricks to shake up the visuals, but i had already spent a couple days just trying to figure character portraits out, so that was probably way out of reach.

honestly, i’m extremely happy that i could get one of my stories out there. i have a bunch just lying on my mind, and i wish to make them all one day. in my mind, heaven knows you was a great success. more than 60 people downloaded it!! like, getting people to take time out of their day to download my game was something i was straight up not expecting. i’ve made a bunch of art in different disciplines over the last eight years or so, and never before had this much attention to one of my first projects on it. it’s crazy.

now i really feel like digging deeper into the development side of videogames and making more stuff. first of all, i’ll update heaven knows you. there aren’t that many songs on it, so i’ll add a couple more. also, maybe better programming on some of the particularly barren sections. maybe more art as well? i wanna make a “post-jam” edition so that it becomes a more polished experience.

after that’s done, i’ll get deep into work on my next game project, which is a unity thing. i also wanna do a sequel to heaven knows you. it’s already mapped out, so maybe i’ll work on it before the unity project? oh no, this postmortem is turning into a diary. thanks for reading. bye!!! here’s an extra Selena artwork i did on my own weirdo artstyle a few months back!!!

#gamedev #indiegamedev #indie #visual novel #kinetic novel #postmortem

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