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#darcy at work when someone has a complicated coffee order
mysteriesofloves · 2 years
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I know it's probably been a while, but do you have any headcannons for your "the moon's never seen me before (i'm reflecting light)" series?
oh boy do i ever
maybe one day i’ll write a prequel fic or some scenes as such but i’ve thought a lot about the blair/serena relationship in this verse. serena was unequivocally supportive while blair was pregnant, going with her to all the doctors appointments, throwing her a baby shower that was just the two of them and dorota, joking (but not really) that she would be the baby’s father. but once henry was born, blair was so busy and so tired all the time that she couldn’t be there for serena, and without her anchor, serena really went off the deep end. think pre-series alexis rose. there wasn’t anyone looking out for her and she just got worse and worse before having to get better alone. this is something touched on a bit in the second part but as much as serena unconditionally loves henry she does miss the time before him. whereas, blair really doesn’t, because she’s so much happier than she thought she could be.
also, in this verse, henry is named after henry higgins from my fair lady. his middle name is fitzwilliam, both as an ode to nate as blair’s way to show him that even though they hurt each other he’ll always be dear to her and because of darcy (henry thinks it’s stupid and pretends he Does Not See It).
blair becoming an event planner was her way of gaining the respect of all the high society people who shunned her after she got pregnant. because, despite the deep seated shame and self-hatred blair felt, she despised the idea of anyone putting that onto her son, so she refused to go away to have her baby or to be modest about it in any way. she dressed henry up and had him by her side at every function she went to with her parents and beyond. but she still wanted the respect and admiration she had when she was the perfect daughter good girl straight-A almost-archibald. so she worked her way up an event planning business until it became her business and she was the only person anyone in their right mind would call to plan their event.
dan and blair’s first time takes place a week or so after the end of the first part, after a series of complications—including blair having too much work and henry showing up to the apartment when he was supposed to be out. it finally happens at the loft and the morning after blair does, indeed, go down to the café for coffee in just dan’s flannel, without knowing he had someone open for him.
speaking of first times and blair working too much—blair is really inexperienced, both sexually and in relationships. before dan, she went out with guys her mom set her up with, or guys she met at society events, and they only lasted a few dates, maybe a night spent together here and there, but nothing further, because blair just didn’t have the time. her son and her job were always going to come first, in that order, and every guy she went out with just wasn’t okay with it.
but even way before they got together, dan thought being third in that list sounded like a pretty sweet deal.
dan started working in the café/gallery as a temporary thing during college, but then his writers block became a pretty permanent thing, and he got comfortable, and ended up taking it over from his dad. so he does relate to blair’s wondering how her life could have turned out differently, but being happy with how it did turn out.
also, rufus and lily meet at henry’s high school graduation party blair holds at the café and recognize each other from the lincoln hawk days. fast forward a few years and henry has more step-grandparents to add to his gaggle of grandparents.
in his valedictorian speech, henry thanks his loyal band of grandparents, his favourite study partner, and his best friend/role model.
dan and henry essentially swap living spaces—when henry goes to college he moves into the loft to give him his own space, and dan moves into the apartment. blair doesn’t change anything in henry’s old room for over a year “just in case a pipe bursts in that hipster den” but really it’s because she can’t quite accept that her baby is grown up. eventually she turns it into a home office/her and dan’s joint library.
henry goes to julliard for playwriting & screenwriting, and dan is always the first person who gets to read what he’s written (sometimes the only person). henry’s writing is what really gets dan back into his own.
after they’ve been married for a while, henry takes it upon himself to change his last name. henry waldorf-humphrey. since he was already of age there was never an adoption but henry thinks it’s still fitting to have the same name as his parents.
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letterboxd · 4 years
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How I Letterboxd #1: Lise
In this first instalment of a new feature, long-time member Lise, of Canada, answers our questions about how she uses Letterboxd, and why you should join her March Around the World challenge.
Hi Lise! How long have you been on Letterboxd? Lise: TV was still in black and white.
What do you mainly use Letterboxd for? Just a diary? Long reviews or shorter takes? Hilarious lists, or very f—king serious director rankings don’t @ me? I use the whole shebang: diary, reviews, ratings, watchlist, comments and lists, lots of lists. But mostly I use Letterboxd to keep track of when Jonathan is out to lunch (shameless plug for my He Says She Says list).
Do you rate films? Absolutely. I rely on ratings to add stuff to my watchlist, and I rate to let others know if I liked the film. I don’t read reviews for films I haven’t seen, so without user ratings I’d be snookered.
Tell us about your March Around The World challenge, in which Letterboxd members sign up to watch and review 30 films from 30 different countries during the month of March. How did it come about, and what’s involved? I took over the challenge from Berken, who created it and hosted it for the first year. I thought it was a brilliant way to explore the world on the cheap. The review component is important because it expands Letterboxd’s database, especially for under-seen films. It’s been a great success. Many participants like to create lists, and if they can’t watch them all in March they go at it for the rest of the year, which is great. The most important rule about the challenge is to forget the rules and watch international films during the month.
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Still from Djibril Diop Mambéty’s ‘Touki Bouki’ (1973).
What are some of the interesting statistics you’ve noticed from your Marches Around the World? I consolidated all of the spreadsheets I’ve created for each challenge, and there were some surprises. The most viewed film is Touki-Bouki from Senegal (average rating of 3.7). Less surprising is that our most-viewed director is Ingmar Bergman (although I was happy to see Aki Kaurismäki from Finland in second place). The most-viewed countries are France, Japan and South Korea. Another surprise, the best decade is the 1920s (with the 1950s in a close second).
How has March Around the World enhanced your life? I’m not the sentimental type but when we get a new participant in the challenge I get the warm and fuzzies. If the genie were out of the bottle I would request that all overcome the ‘one-inch barrier’ (subtitles). Watching films ‘from away’, as our East Coasters would say, is one of the simplest ways to combat fears and/or prejudices about other peoples/nations/ways of life that we often don’t realize we have. Every time we identify or root for someone who is ‘other’ it chips away at the walls, and as Maya Angelou has said so eloquently, we discover that “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike”.
What are the responsibilities involved in hosting a Letterboxd challenge? It doesn’t have to be complicated. A challenge can be as simple as “watch ten films from your watchlist this month”. It’s all about tags. Define a tag, have people add it to their films and their lists, and then you can easily search for and filter those tags. Easy peasy. Mine is a bit more challenging because it has so many requirements, but thanks to some fantastic Letterboxders who volunteer to help with my spreadsheet (you know who you are), it all gets done in a timely manner.
How do you find the time to watch all those films in a single month?! Jonathan and I have never completed the challenge! Our best year was around 26. That year we got up earlier in the morning and watched the films with coffee, before going to work. That was the best. Nice and fresh and open to anything. Bonus is that we got to think about the film all day and the review-writing in the evening was easier. If it were up to me that’s the way I would watch films all the time.
What other challenges have you taken part in, and how have they enhanced your experience of watching films? Back in the day everyone was making a list tagged with List of Shame that you filled with all those “You seriously haven’t seen that yet?!” films. I’m still chipping away at it, but of course for every film you watch there are ten more you have to see. To help with the List of Shame I participated in Mr Dulac’s 5×5 series, where you selected five films from five directors and watched them at your leisure. It was a great way to complete filmographies. I still go to that list when selecting a film to watch.
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Wong Kar-Wai’s ‘In The Mood for Love’ (2000).
What are your four favorites on your Letterboxd profile, and why? In the Mood for Love, because forbidden love is the saddest thing ever, and I could watch Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung go up and down those noodle-shop stairs all day long. The Thin Red Line, because it provides a great sense of place and it’s about the soldiers, not the war. Whispering Star because it is so quiet and touching.
I keep my fourth slot open for a rotating new favorite film that I want everyone to see. I could change these for a different set, but, oh, who am I kidding. I always feel terrible at the thought of ‘demoting’ a film.
What is your favorite or most useful feature? The watchlist, filtered by service. It is my dream-come-true feature. I sort by genre, hide short films, select ‘Stream only’ and ta-da! A list of films I’ve been meaning to see that are available to stream. (Now if only I could do the same for films that I own!) [Editor’s note: filtering by your own personal set of streaming services is a Pro feature.]
What’s a movie you’ve done a 180 on because of other Letterboxd members’ opinions? Great question. Memories of Murder is one of them for sure. I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was when I first saw it, but so many of my friends gave it five stars that I watched it again and understood. And just this week, Moaning_Slug posted an interesting comment on my review of Buñuel’s Viridiana that actually makes me want to take another look.
What’s a movie you’ve really had to dig in on your feelings about, despite what everyone else on Letterboxd thinks? I am not easily bothered by or influenced by others when it comes to the films I love or despise. I seriously disliked Her and Boyhood and pretty much anything by Wes Anderson and all the high ratings have zero effect on me. The technical prowess of a film would never be something that could change my mind (here’s looking at you John Wick: Chapter 2 and 3). What would make me take a second look is if someone were able to point out that I missed something about what the film was saying. I’ve yet to review Jojo Rabbit because while I think poking fun at someone who aspires to dictatorship might actually prevent it from happening, I don’t know what to make of it when it’s making light of a historical or current [aspiring dictator]. Reading reviews about this could definitely influence my take on the film.
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Colin Firth in ‘Pride and Prejudice’ (1995).
What’s your go-to comfort movie? The one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, the one with Chris Pratt and the talking ‘rat’, and the one with Tony Leung as badge No. 663 starring the Mamas and the Papas.
If and when you go to the cinema, where do you prefer to sit? Behind the shortest person in the room, near the back (I hate looking up—it’s a neck thing).
You’re Canadian. What’s the best Canadian film of all time? South of Wawa, about a donut-shop waitress who receives tickets to a Dan Hill concert in Toronto for her 35th birthday. Okay, so it’s not the “greatest film of all time” but it is my favorite, and it’s got the best last line ever!
These are the Canadian films I’ve seen in order of preference, this is a substantial list of Quebec films and [Letterboxd member] puffin has an extensive Canadian films list (stops at 2018). And I must mention these NFB short classics: The Cat Came Back, The Sweater and one of the most beautifully animated shorts, The Man Who Planted Trees.
When Parasite won Best Picture, what was the reaction in your household? We tested the bounce on our floor boards at Best Director. We tested the bounce on the ceiling boards at Best Picture.
Please recommend three other Letterboxd members we should follow. I can’t count, so here goes. I think everyone should follow Punq for the sheer number of films he watches and reviews, but mostly because I don’t think there is a film made before the 60s that he hasn’t seen. Graham Williamson is a good bet as well. His tastes are eclectic and his reviews are always packed with good observations and information. And I also have to recommend fellow Canuck puffin. I don’t know how he manages to watch so many films and review them. I always enjoy reading Melissa Tamminga, who asks questions and is very thoughtful in her reviews, and I have a soft spot for Peter H, who again personalizes his reviews. Nepotism be damned, Jonathan White always writes honest, interesting and personal reviews.
You also round up Letterboxd members who attend TIFF each year—what’s been a good thing about meeting Letterboxd people in real life? It’s great! Without naming names, I discovered that I could drink a 6'2" Norwegian under the table; a particular New Yorker is so stingy with his ratings that when he gives anything beyond three and a half stars you just have to watch the film; and a New Zealander personally knows anyone who is anyone in the industry over there and can give you all the dirt! Whenever we consider not doing TIFF we are always reminded that it would involve missing our Wednesday meet-up (as well as most other nights where we undoubtedly meet up for beer and film-related arguments), and we easily change our minds.
P.S. In the spirit of connecting Letterboxders… before the TIFF list I thought it would be good idea to create a ‘Letterboxd in [insert City]’ list, Toronto being the first one. It took off, and many users from different parts of the world created lists for their cities; the tag is letterboxdcity.
The March Around the World challenge starts 1 March 2020. Tag your list with ‘30 countries 2020’ and it’ll be added here.
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elysiumwaits · 5 years
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It’s Work in Progress Wednesday! Here are some teasers from a bunch of my WIPs. Mostly Sterek with a bit of MCU at the end.
Under the cut cause this got loooong.
1. In the Winter’s Pale - Sterek - “First Encounters” prompt AU that might actually be reworked, I don’t know yet if I like how this is going.
Chain broken, Stiles gasps and his body tries to arch as his magic is suddenly there once more, filling the cracks and voids that had been so awfully empty when he had reached for them for protection at the beginning of this whole ordeal. It sings and cries to him like a living creature, agonizes over his pain and attempts to start healing his wounds. 
He reigns it back, and it is no small task.
“Move,” he manages, still rasping but firm. The red-haired woman does, standing and moving back quickly, too graceful to scramble but fast nonetheless. The black wolf, however, does not.
2. Weekly Werewolf Sitcom Summer Fun WIP - Sterek, Scott/Isaac/Allison
Honestly, Stiles often thinks, the hardest part of getting Peter to involve himself with pack is overcoming the smug, condescending barriers he puts up in the first place. “You mind to share with the class?”
“Certainly, Stiles.” At this, Peter does raise his sunglasses to the top of his head. “Scott is with Allison, as everyone knows. But Scott is obviously also… dallying with Isaac. And though I haven’t personally observed it, I would lay good money down that Isaac is also dallying with Allison.”
“That’s… a hell of a love triangle,” Derek says, looking a little pinched. He’s probably thinking, Stiles guesses, about the fallout, which would be necessary if it were actually a love triangle.
“Nope, it’s good ol’ fashioned polyamory.” Stiles squints at where Scott’s hand is resting on Isaac’s shoulder, watches as Scott pulls it away a few seconds later - lingering, hesitantly, sliding his fingertips along Isaac’s shoulder blade like he is wholly reluctant to pull away.
“A triad,” Peter says. “I really can’t believe you didn’t notice.”
3. Sterek Fantasy Epic - Sterek - if I keep posting about it maybe I’ll work on it
Derek has a lot of questions, actually, but this first one is the most important. “Were you ever human?”
Stiles is quiet and still, as though someone carved him from a stone. The fire crackles, but it doesn’t rise, and Derek doesn’t reach for his blade. Slowly, the sounds of the forest at night seem to fade away to an eerie stillness that lasts for a few moments, half a second, and then snap back to life as Stiles looks away from the flames and to Derek once more.
“I think that depends on your definition of human,” is what Stiles finally says, easy as ever. His hands, though, give him away, betray the calm that he’s trying to project and instead tell Derek that the mage is tense. His eyes are wide, as always, but he’s shifted away from Derek, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. Watching for sudden movement.
He’s afraid.
4. You Know You Got Me to Hold On To - Winterhawk - The Tractor Bang fic
“You drool,” Bucky says. “And you have a bruise on your cheek and a bandage on your nose. Again. Not counting, you know, the rest of your injuries. That overshadows your rugged masculine charm.”
“Au contraire, it’s an integral part of my rugged masculine charm.”
Bucky rolls his eyes, uncrosses his arms, and finally actually comes into the bedroom. Clint grins, invitingly patting the empty space beside him, but Bucky shakes his head. “I made breakfast.”
“Town is twenty minutes away and there are literally no groceries here, what exactly is ‘breakfast?’”
“Fine,” Bucky says, a little bit of a quirk to his mouth that might be the start of a smile. “I made coffee. There’s an MRE or two if you’re hungry.”
5. Working Title: Wild and Unruly - Taserhawk - That big small town romance novel one with way too many country music references
“I literally don’t know any other way to tell you that I can’t make you a Cosmo,” Darcy snapped. “A Cosmopolitan needs triple sec, which I don’t have, and I can’t pull out of my ass. So, you can order something I’ve offered to make you, or you can move along because I have a bar full of other customers who I like a hell of a lot better than I like you.”
“Ugh,” the girl sighed dramatically. “Just a fucking screwdriver then, god. A strong one.”
Darcy threw the drink together with slightly less vodka and slightly more orange juice than she usually did, dropped an orange slice into it, and set it down in front of the girl with probably a little more aggression than necessary. “You want to start a tab?”
The girl didn’t say anything, apparently deeming Darcy unworthy of her time. Instead, she just handed over a ten dollar bill, so Darcy opened the register and handed her back a five. 
“Oh my god, this stupid drink costs five dollars?” the girl asked in indignant disbelief, clearly gearing up for another hissy fit.
Darcy snorted. “No. The screwdriver is two dollars, but there’s an upcharge for annoying customers to be applied at my discretion. Sure you don’t wanna start a tab?” Then, just to make a point, she dropped the extra three dollars into her own tip jar.
6. Our Feet Are Planted in the Real World - Taserhawk - post-Endgame fic where Darcy can see ghosts
Darcy still tries to finish up any business they have left though. She calls a lot of police departments with “anonymous tips” and writes a lot of “mysterious letters” to family members left behind. It doesn’t help them move on, really - that doesn’t happen until they’re well and truly ready - but it makes both her and the ghost feel a little better. She likes to think it helps the families too, but she very rarely gets any kind of contact after the letter. Sometimes she reads about bodies found and cold cases solved in newspapers for towns far away from her, and that gives her a strange, bittersweet sort of closure.
“So how is the most beautiful woman in the world today?” 
And then there’s Pietro. 
Out of context, he’s very flattering and good for Darcy’s ego. Coupled with the smarmy grin and the eyebrows, though, it loses a little bit of the “nice compliment” kind of flavor and edges right up into “fuckboy” instead.
To be honest, though, even he’s not that creepy anymore - he’s been hanging around Darcy for going on eight years now, after all. Frankly, his return to over-the-top compliments and blatant innuendo are a welcome change from the majority of the five years after the Snap, when he was… well, a ghost of his former self. 
7. Dust to Dust - Taserhawk, past Clint/Laura - the complicated one about grief and mourning that happens during the five years between the Snap and Endgame - angst angst angst
Later, when he’s standing alone in a sunny field with the remnants of a picnic and dust slipping through his fingers, with laughter from only moments earlier ringing in his ears, he will think of all the promises he made that he didn’t keep and all the ones that he did. How he’s still alive, and how he never thought he would be the last one to go.
The road to hell isn’t paved with good intentions, like everyone thinks. Clint’s walked the road to hell before, pulled people back from it, and he knows that it’s built of blood and dust and tears, of promises that couldn’t be kept. It’s knees in the Missouri dirt, fingers frantically clutching at dust and grass before the wind can catch it, desperate prayers to a god that he never really believed in going unanswered. 
The road to hell is a quiet, empty farmhouse. It’s Disney tickets, a squeaky stair, milk going bad. It’s rotting picnic food left on a table as the summer turns on, a target standing in a field with arrows just slightly off of a bullseye like a monument, like a grave marker, like a cross left at the roadside after a terrible accident.
Promises and intentions, everything that keeps Clint choosing the path of the good man again and again, blows away across the field, dust carried through his fingers by the breeze.
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lovelyirony · 7 years
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Nevertheless, She Persisted
I wrote a drabble about marvel women persisting. Here it is. 
When Peggy was little, her mother told her to keep her chin up and strong. Her father told her much the same. Society said “no, not like that.” Peggy shot back “yes, exactly like that,” and kept on going. The British army shot down her request to be an agent. “Go get me a coffee and some smokes,” one of them had said. It was as if they would never consider her for a position of power. (Oh, how they underestimated her.) She came to America and demanded it. They said okay. She got to meet a small man who grew four sizes, and who looked at her like she was an equal. She wasn’t just some dame in the war. She was a terrifying woman who knew how to shoot and knew how to get things done. And he appreciated it. She continued as the Director and Founder of SHIELD. She vowed that they would never question a woman in power. (They did, but no one ever said or did anything in public.) Hydra lived in fear of her, and they would never plan anything if she was in town. If she had known, Peggy would have laughed and destroyed them in one day. She persisted. 
Pepper went into business. Her family was from Cape Cod. She grew up playing with Barbies and talking about marriage. Her plans deviated. Pepper was good at math, organization, and making plans on the fly. She was the sole reason that the Thanksgiving of ‘92 was saved. But all around her, men would look at her as if she was there for enjoyment. They would think that she couldn’t hear as they commented on her looks. On how her body was. She burned bright red not out of embarrassment, but out of fear. Sure, Tony patented the nickname, but it was around long before him. She dominated the business field, made sure women knew they were important. More important than the men who demonized them. She ruled Stark Industries with an iron fist, taking little shit and receiving it all with a razor-sharp smile. She persisted.  
Jane Foster was a woman in STEM. This was before all of the programs for young girls. She was a woman who was working on a theory that many considered impossible. She forgot to shave and shower like a regular person, and never looked good unless Darcy worked some make-up magic. Men would scoff at conferences. “Some lady,” they’d say as they saw her brushing Pop Tart crumbs away from her pantsuit. Because they thought that she would have to be some alluring woman for them to gaze at. But she wasn’t. And Jane would never be, because that isn’t something a lady has to be. So Jane stared them down as she announced to the world her findings. She walked off the stage with a slouch, not tall and straight. “I want to go back to sleep,” Jane announced. They left the event early. It was noted that her hair was a mess, and that was the only thing they noted about her; not the fact that she had discovered possibly a new way to travel to distant planets that sustained life. Jane just brushed it off and released a new theory that no man had ever thought of. She persisted. 
Maria Hill was young and fresh out of the army when Director Fury snatched her up to be his righthand woman. She was sharp, intelligent, and could do orders as asked, rarely questioning anything. (At least, he thought.) Maria was to the point and blunt. There were no sweet smiles or nervous laughs. If she was uncomfortable, she would ask them to stop or she would leave. She was a frigid bitch, the ice queen, a lesbian. (The last labels and the previous ones did not bother her in the slightest.) She wasn’t trained in the army to hold men’s gazes. She wasn’t trained to flirt and flutter her eyelashes. She was trained to save lives and make the tough calls. And that’s what her job description was. When Ward tries to make her angry and say that Romanov should have been chosen so they’d have someone to look at, it just amused Maria. She looked nice; smooth hair, lipstick, contour on some days. But the fact that Ward thought he could get under her skin with insults about how she looked? Now that, that was hilarious. When Fury “dies,” she keeps going. People ask her if it was “serious.” Maria says she will date never, and leaves it as that. She continues on in his stead, taking on the complicated jobs that no one else at the fallen agency has the guts to take. She persists. 
Sharon Carter had Peggy Carter as a distant relative, but that didn’t stop Sharon from looking up to her great-aunt. “Never, ever, let a man walk all over you,” Peggy would reiterate to a young Sharon. Her parents were embarrassed but altogether thankful that someone had the courage to tell their daughter what they couldn’t. (They did not appreciate that Peggy gave Sharon her first pistol at age fourteen. Peggy claimed that “Tasers were sold out.”) Sharon has never relied on a legacy to get her into SHIELD. She dealt with people asking her questions about what she did at her job. She handled tough jobs because she was the person to do it; once people realized that Agent 13 was a girl, they had a tough time accepting that she could actually do the job. “It’s pretty gruesome,” a man had said. “Ladies shouldn’t see this.” Sharon gives him a flat look. “Ladies shouldn’t see a lot of the things men do, but unfortunately enough, we still have to. Now move, or you’re gonna get killed.” She wears a sweet smile as she eviscerates the competition. She outshoots Rumlow in a contest and he claims she was using her “assets” to distract others. “You’re just mad because I’m better than you,” Sharon gloats. Rumlow doesn’t like that. Challenges her to a hand-to-hand competition. Sharon has a family dinner, so she declines. Sharon fights hard for her work, and loves every second of it. (Almost.) She fights through men who think she’s there as the distraction. She smirks as she shoots bullets, nearly laughs as the mark stumbles and falls over the balcony. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty distracting when I’m being a badass,” she says with a shrug. “I really want some chicken right now. After the briefing, I guess.” After that “civil war” smackdown, her boss questions her allegiance because of “romantic feelings.” Sharon stares him down, glaring. “The day that ‘romantic feelings’ compromise the ability to do my job, feel free to fire me. But they didn’t, and I’m insulted that you would think I was that inexperienced.” She persisted.
Natasha Romanoff doesn’t remember her childhood. Just learning how to be a lady, and a deadly one at that. She remembers sweat pouring down her back, and her teachers saying that men should never see you sweat. Natasha nods. Life after the Red Room is different, but not. Men still salivate after her, the agents make bets on who can “bed the Widow.” Natasha smiles sweetly and says that the next person who tries to take her to have sexual intercourse will be strung by their uniform to Lady Liberty. Natasha wears make-up most days. She likes the feeling it gives her. She doesn’t wear it other days, and people ask her if she’s feeling okay, or that she looks better with make-up on. Natasha shrugs it off, but says that if they think she looks better with make-up on, then she will make sure they never find a date. (Ask about Agent Sammond. He has never found a date since.) She continues even when men still underestimate her. She is the freaking Black Widow, the name usually tips women off at least. They know to stay away. Natasha leans in with her fragrance and smile, and eviscerates them. She is courageous, and she is strong. Sometimes, she’ll teach other women how to be their own kind of deadly. Even after everything, Natasha is still herself. She persists. 
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