From New Mutants Lethal Legion #005, “Vampire Heist II”

Art by Enid Balám, Elisabetta D’Amico and Matt Milla

Written by Charlie Jane Anders

and then the other shoe drops... the blade is quite poisoned, it is just that Reiko is immune to said toxin, and with a small knick, Mariko suddenly erupts into pain as the toxin floods her blood... and we learn all of this, was masterminded by Silver Fox

Holy shit this rando background character airline pilot Cylla Markham turns out to be an ice cold masochistic sociopath. Not only did she get horrifically blown up a few issue ago without being emotionally phased one bit, it also appears like getting her limbs sawed off and her guts replaced with wires and cheap LEDs is also nothing to be too concerned about. She’s just kind of like, “eh, whaddya gonna do” while she’s hanging there without a pelvis. She’s just kind of like, “eh, could be worse.” How could it possibly be worse!!! Geezus she must have been miserable with her life. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone less concerned about losing everything and becoming a hideous serial killing psychotic cyborg. She’s just kind of like “eh, it’s a living.” Jesus. (Uncanny X-Men #269 – Oct 1990)

X-Men Trading Cards - Series 1 (1991)

#28 Reavers

616 Donald Pierce Part Two: The Reavers

Hey guys! Welcome to Part Two in the complete comics history of Donald Pierce! If you missed it, here is PART ONE and the accompanying IMAGE POST for it! Now, where did we leave off? Ok, so Pierce busts out of Shaw's private prison, and he heads where all criminals go, to Australia! ….can I make that joke, am I gonna piss off Australians, or??? Anyway, little-known fact, he did not MAKES the Reavers. The Reavers were already a criminal gang when he got there. He just took over them and added his buddies Macon, Cole, and Reese to their number. I'm not entirely clear if they were already cyborgs when he took over them, or if he enhanced them afterwards. Due to Lady Deathstrike's own...modified nature...and her hatred for Wolverine, she also joins up with them. And Pierce is VERY interested in her. He talks about how he likes her and how sophisticated and complex her mechanical parts are, and says that he finds her “irresistibly fascinating as both woman and machine.” He calls her “milady” so you know he’s a douche, but then, we already knew that) Also, there is smooching.

The Reavers are an...interesting bunch, particularly Pretty Boy. http://thisiswhatwereupagainst.tumblr.com/post/155814768208/much-like-the-shadow-king-the-reaver-cyborg-known Seriously, what in the HELL? Bonebreaker is half tank, okay.  Skullbuster is a Red Skull rip-off with giant guns, okay. And Pretty Boy's power is...RAPE?! Are the Reavers like this in the movie? Seriously, please tell me they did NOT put Pretty Boy in the movies!

Anyway, they attack Wolverine in Australia (where the X-Men were hanging out in secret at this time) and not only manage to overtake him, they stake him up on an X-shape crucifix. Damn! Pierce tortures and taunts him, but Wolvie refuses to scream. A massive storm hits, so the Reavers go inside. Guys, no! This was the time period in comics when his healing factor had limits! You could have killed him! Sorry, it's not that I want Logan dead, just...leaving the bound hero alive and alone and just assuming he won't get away is SUCH A CLCHE VILLAIN ERROR! And of course, Jubilee showed up to help Wolvie escape. Jubilee was not an X-Men at this time, she was a kid who had secretly been hiding in their base, and this was the first meeting between her and Logan. That's right, Donald Pierce was a part of bringing this iconic duo together! Donald Pierce sends cyborg dingos after them (YES CYBORG DINGOS get it cuz they're in Australia!) but Wolvie scraps 'em while Jubilee fires her powers at a wall so it falls on Pierce and buries him! That's the end of that adventure! When we next see the Reavers, Cole, Macon, and Reese (remember, those Hellfire guys? They joined the Reavers with Pierce!) are pissy they have the clean water out of the Reavers base (I love seeing slice-of-life stuff like that; even bad guys have to clean house!) but are happy they're not getting 'retoole' like the others. Like, say, Pierce knocking Pretty Boy's head off when he taunts him and grafting it on to an ugly robotic body. Since decapitation ends up being something that happens to Pierce more than once, it's kind of ironic to me he does this to someone else. And frankly, I'm glad it was Pretty Boy -shudders-  Anyway, after this little...tiff...they attack Moira MacTaggert and the mutants who are living with her on Muir Island, as Pierce believed Wolverine had retreated there. To be honest, I kinda wonder why Pierce cares so much about Wolverine? I get why Cole, Macon, and Reese do, because Logan fucked them up in particular, but I don't know why Pierce has a special grudge against him over the other X-Men.  But, considering that those three henchmen AND Lady Deathstrike all have special grudges against Logan, and that's WHY they're working for Pierce, to get at Logan, maybe it's not that Pierce gives a shit about Wolverine but that he knows his minions do so he's making sure to keep them happy by going after him...and that's fine with him because he's happy to kill any mutant, especially an X-man. Anyway, it failed, but Pierce did kill the superhero Stonewall and Pretty Boy killed the mutant Sunder, so they did strike some blows to the Muir Island bunch...if only to characters I'm pretty sure no one remembers or cares about. :/ Pierce approached a woman, Cylla Markham, a pilot who ha recently suffered terrible injuries when her plane was shot down, and offered her the opportunity to become a cyborg if she served him. She agreed, but while she was still in the works, so to speak, the Reavers came into conflict with the Punisher. Long story short, the Punisher seriously fucked them up, and they had to flee, much to Pierce's displeasure. They also attacked Emma Frost's company, and had a surprise visit from Rogue and Ms. Marvel.   Elsie Dee and Albert were created by Pierce during this time too. They're androids, and you can read about them here: https://uncannyxmen.net/characters/albert-elsie-dee  Anyway, that's about it for Pierce in the 1980s. Then the 1990s rolled around. Now, with the 1990s came a squad of new writers, and several of them worked on issues concerning a squad of villains called the Upstarts. The Upstarts were a group of young new villains, and their purpose was basically the wipe out the old ones. So we had Shinobi Shaw killing Sebastian Shaw, Fabian Cortez killing Magneto, Trevor Fitzroy putting Emma Frost in a coma...the idea was that these kids were clearing the way for a new generation with new baddies. But, fans still wanted their old favorites, so none of this lasted---Sebastian and Magneto came back to life and killed their killers, Emma woke up from her coma and joined the good guys, etc.---but they did get Donald Pierce amongst their casualities. And in a REALLY hilarious way. Basically, the Reavers are sitting around drinking (because I guess cyborgs can do that?) and all of a sudden HOLY SHIT SENTINELS! And Sentinels are just supposed to go after mutants, but these Sentinels belong to Trevor Fitzroy of the Upstarts, who has reprogrammed them to kill the Upstarts targets. So they take out the Reavers, but Pierce manages to get away (his cowardly tendencies get mentioned by someone, but, uh, I don't think you have to be a coward to want to run from GIANT DEATH MACHINES) and he gets the teleporting mutant Gateway to send him to the Hellfire Club. Pierce tells him to send him to the person responsible for the Sentinels, and I think he thought they were responsible, which is an understandable guess since Shaw built Sentinels for profit. But Gateway decides to be a dick (probably because it's Pierce) and SENDS THE SENTINELS AFTER HIM AHAHAHAHA! Anyway, one of the Sentinels blasts Pierce to bits, and then they start on the other mutants who are there---Emma Frost, her Hellions, and the X-Men. Fitzroy is there too, and personally kills the Hellions, while Emma Frost is knocked into a coma. Then, wanting to brag to his fellow Upstart Shinobi Shaw, Fitzroy breaks into the guy's room in the middle of the night holding his prizes---the unconscious Emma and THE HEAD OF DONALD PIERCE AND HE TOSSES PIERCE'S HEAD INTO SHINOBI'S BED SHINOBI COMPLAINS ABOUT MOTOR OIL GETTING ON “MY VERY EXPENSIVE SILK SHEETS!” And after that, it's just...never explained what happens to Pierce's head from there. The X-Men recover Emma, but I guess Pierce's head just gets left in Shinobi's room indefinitely as like a REALLY ugly piece of home décor! And guys, if you know anything about Shinobi Shaw, you know Pierce SAW things there, man. I almost feel sorry for the guy! Next time: Pierce’s adventures in the 90s! In the meantime, check out this IMAGE POST!

Lady Deathstrike and the future Skullbuster by Jim Lee

“You come into my house and disrespect me! You steal from me!” -- Count Nefaria

Cover art for New Mutants Lethal Legion #004, “When I Was a Lad”

Art by Erick Arciniega

From New Mutants Lethal Legion #004, “When I Was a Lad”

Art by Enid Balám, Elisabetta D’Amico and Matt Milla

Written by Charlie Jane Anders

From Marvel’s Voices: Pride Vol. 2 #001, “Permanent Sleepover”

Art by Ro Stein, Ted Brandt and Tamra Bonvillain

Written by Charlie Jane Anders

Cylla is a weird character... so like we have seen her a few times before... and she has changed appearance a lot over those, but we don’t super know like... a ton about her at all, despite them throwing her at us here like she is a super big deal...

Jesus! I thought for a second that pilot was Cecilia Reyes, but apparently it’s some one off character with a similar sounding name that we’re never going to see again because she just got blown to fucking bits.

And hey look it’s the return of Fenris, the clothes negative, hand holding siblings that tried to kill Professor Xavier back in Uncanny X-Men #200. Where’ve they been?? Do they only try killing X-Men when they can do it from the deck of their Yacht? That way they don’t have to put any clothes on over their speedos and string bikinis. Because changing clothes means you have to stop holding hands. Probably. Anyway, the callousness with which the death of this pilot is treated is a little unnerving. Like, Banshee and Forge are just like, well, she’s certainly dead. She’s Thunderbird dead. We better bounce.

Do you feel no responsibility for the trail of bodies you leave in the wake of your globe trotting adventures together you maniacs! Geez stop taking public transportation for crying out loud. (Uncanny X-Men #260 – Apr 1990)

“That will hurt. I’ve been *bzt* upgrading myself continuously, and those robotic restraint devices don’t work on me. It will be *bzt* very messy.”  -- Albert

Cover art for 2020 iWolverine #001

Art by Juan José Ryp and Jesus Aburtov

Pierce is collecting himself a new Reaver... Cylla Markham here will become the new skullbuster... and it is quite a transformation...

Hey wait a second!! How did this pilot Cylla Markham survive getting blown up in the last issue, and more importantly, how did her race change??? She was black in the last issue, wasn’t she?? And now she’s as white as Ann Coulter’s ghost after falling in a vat of wet flour. Did the explosion do that??? I thought it was weird when they introduced this new character and even took the time to give her a name and then blew her to shit in the very next panel, but it looks like they have more in store for her. Amazing that she survived the explosion and the 20,000 foot fall, and she only needs a body cast! Look at her! She actually seems like she’s in pretty good spirits! Tough woman. (Uncanny X-Men #261 – May 1990)