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#csa warning
saltbind · 7 months
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also like i know we are all aware of the deanjohn csa coding but. imagine, if you will, that dean got the emotional covert incest but no physical, and sam got the physical with no emotional involvement. and that's why sam left. and dean doesn't find out until years later and has to deal with the fact that the one person who he trusted more than anyone else was regularly assaulting the kid who it's his duty to protect
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newtlesbian · 9 months
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going further. franks child self was living in that one room with a strange weirdo boy he dreamed up but never really had. now his inner child isn’t alone anymore. he plays games with his real charlie in their terrible one room apartment. getting weird with it and being okay with being weird no matter what everyone on the outside might think. sharing a bed together to feel the comfort in being close to that
macs child self had charlie the whole time. inseparable. a package deal. the most genuine connection and comfort in both of their neglected tiny lives. not just because they were otherwise alone. decades later theyre not going anywhere. now their inner child rides bikes together they throw rocks at trains together they teach each other about the world just like they needed so desperately in old times
dennis’ child self never had charlie. not until highschool. but that was exactly when he experienced his csa. his inner child found charlie at the exact right moment. caught him when he fell. he got his child self back through charlie just as he lost feeling. and now what do the two of them do together? they go recreate memories and recapture lost youth with a mutual unspoken understanding of why
they all need charlie. relaxing into his genuine youthful energy lets them feel that way again.
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wtchgrrl · 3 months
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‘a woman can’t be abusive to a man because men will always have more power over them!!!!’ i will murder you and blast daddy by korn at your funeral.
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nico-di-genova · 1 year
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Sad Gabriel Headcanons
Because weird shit was going down in Mercury’s house and it needs to be addressed
TW: discussions of SA and CSA
Has felt like an object, and not a person, for most of his life. This stems from Mercury’s treatment of him and the other boys. He’s seen as a errand boy a maid, something for Mercury to speak at but never to. He’s never been valued for his thoughts, only for his looks.
Decorates his apartment as chaotically as possible, with as many brightly colored things as he can find, as a direct contrast to how his room at Mercury’s was. She barely tolerated him keeping his book in his room, and she expected the room to be kept clean at all times. In every shot we see of it, it looks like something out of a catalog. It’s not a bedroom, it’s a glass case Gabriel was kept in.
He was kept isolated for much of his life, and was only allowed to leave Mercury’s house when he become old enough to do jobs for her. I doubt she let him talk to the other boys much, seen in the way he’s so nervous when the little boy in the house helps him unlock the door. Mercury probably worries if they talk to each other, they’ll be able to band together. It’s easier to keep them scared when they’re separate.
Has become hypersexualized as a result of the SA he faced from Mercury, and from other men. Mercury was way too touchy feely with Gabriel and Nathan for my liking, I think she should die immediately. I do think she probably SA’d Gabriel when he was younger, but was always sure to wipe his memory. So he doesn’t remember specifics, but subconsciously he senses it.
Seeks the validation of older men, because Mercury is his only basis for love. This is why he was with Clark. Clark who was 29, and who in one of the few scenes we get with him is openly commenting on Gabriel’s appearance and touching him in public. This ultimately ties back into him feeling like an object. Something to be treasured, but never to be listened to.
The blood witches at the bar are the closest he came to family before Nathan and Annalise. They helped him develop his own style and taught him how to be himself. They’re also the reason he hasn’t been checking in with Mercury. He’s never told them what she’s done to him, but they sensed something was off and did their best to give him a safe place.
Never initiates anything with Nathan, because he doesn’t want him to feel like he did growing up. This is why Nathan kisses him, why it’s Nathan who holds his hand first. Any contact they have is something Nathan has expressly initiated and Gabriel has followed.
The first time Nathan or Annalise ask him if he’s okay with doing something sexually, really and genuinely take his face in their hands and ask him, he cries. Because no one has ever stopped to ask him, and he’s so used to things simply being taken from him.
The first time Nathan expresses how impressed he is with Gabriel’s powers, he has to pause and process it for a minute, because no one has ever commented on his abilities genuinely before. Nathan notices this, and then goes out of his way to comment on anything other than Gabriel’s appearance from that point forward.
As much as he loves his parents, and wishes he could remember them, he’s also a little angry at them. He would never say it out loud, but he hates them a little bit for leaving him with Mercury. He blames them for what she’s done to him, which just makes him feel guilty and upset all over again.
Is constantly plagued with guilt that he couldn’t bring the little boy from episode 8 to wolfhagen with him. He thinks about him all the time, and worries about what Mercury might do to him for helping Gabriel.
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a-is-healing · 1 month
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Poems for Survivors
Hello survivors,
If you are a CSA or SA survivor, I want to write you a poem.
If you want this, send an ask. Either a few words you want me to use. Or your story. Or anything you want.
Poetry is a part of my CSA recovery and I would like to share this with other survivors.
I care about you and I am proud of you, and keep fighting.
Signed, A.
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mystique-mansion · 11 hours
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i wish vore was real specifically so i could eat p/dos 😊 id be sure to draw digestion out over days, weeks if i can to make it as painful as possible. then take the kiddo and give them the safest, best possible life they can have 💜
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i thought these lyrics from halestorm: innocence fit rather well
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entity56 · 5 months
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P-philia is a paraphilic disorder, its not "bad" (immoral), because disorders are not inherently immoral; the action of abuse, csa, r*pe is bad, but this should not be conflated with the disorder. It's not really thoughts themselves that are bad/immoral as thoughts/attraction isnt what makes/define a person. It's action & what you do that really counts.
The action of committing pedophilia is bad. Having the paraphilic disorder is not 'immoral'. I will agree with you on that. I was mostly ranting about the fact that there's radqueers trying to normalize it...
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saltbind · 8 months
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if you want to suffer. prison sex by tool. and dean winchester.
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papallion · 6 months
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i found out a few of my favorite Tumblrs are antis
this upsets me for several reason , the first of which is i m a CSA survivor
i was four, and it only stopped when one of my cousins turned four, and no one stopped him, despite knowing about it, since "he was a good man who helped his community"
now, having lived in hell, (and the trauma doesn't stop when the abuser moves on) why do i not like antis who hate child porn of fictional characters?
because fictional characters are that, fictional - they don't exist and they can't get hurt
antis will follow celebrities that are known to have abused people, but they like them too much to actually stop watching their content
it is so fucking insulting to put fake children before real ones
and stop submitting anime child porn to the FBI - every time you do that it eat resources and time that could be used to save real children
be an adult and curate your own experience
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neongoatguts · 8 months
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A comic about trauma :)
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creaturebehavior · 10 months
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being a kid on the internet was nuts
when i was 10/11 i was always talking to this guy royman36 or something who told me he was 19 and from the netherlands
i can’t remember if i ever told him my age but we like strictly only had flirting romantic/slightly sexual conversations with each other.
what the hell lol
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coralillough · 2 years
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Tumblr what the FUCK did I like to warrant this??? What, did I like a post about fighting pedophilia, and so you were kind enough to bring me to the digital front??? What the fuck??? Look at how many fucking notes it has.
AAM means "adult-attracted minor," if you're lucky enough to be out of the loop.
I reported a couple posts and blogs, and many of them look like they're "just" run by grown men LARPing as young girls. Hopefully, some of them are actually law enforcement bait. But good God that was legitimately triggering as all hell. I haven't felt the Rage like this in a long time. What the fuck.
What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
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lunarvale · 2 years
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Had some traumatic memories get triggered recently, so I used drawing to cope with them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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gayjaytodd · 2 years
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re: ur tags on the post about jackles not agreeing to do something on the boys. unfortunately I agree with you and pedophilia is exactly where my mind went :/ I'm probably predisposed to come to that conclusion as a csa survivor but. it fits with the information we have and if it WAS that then I absolutely do not blame him for drawing the line (as funny as it would be for the line to be gay sex, I just don't think it's likely)
yeah, see, that's what I was thinking -- especially based on the "as a father of three" thing that he apparently said bc I have a hard time thinking of anything else that could relate to
also, I obviously don't know the details but for what it's worth, I'm sorry for what you've been through and I hope you're doing okay xx
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bisexual-problem · 3 months
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Still reading Kiss Daddy Goodnight by Louise Armstrong written in 1978- little by little, as it's one of the hardest reads I've experienced. I found this quote she sourced to be very interesting in regards to feminist theory, but I'm putting the screenshot below a cut because everything in this book has very viseral descriptions of incest:
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I want to personally thank Ms. Armstrong for producing this piece of literature and speaking out about the systemic issue of incest. May she rest in peace.
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