#crying in the club as I shake my ass n drop it low sentimentally | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeolsmuffin · 7 years

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Crumbling Down [M] - Sehun || Two

Paring: sehunXreader, otherXreader

Genre: Smut, Angst || Best friend!Sehun

Summary: When friends with benefits goes horribly wrong.

Word Count: 9.5k

Teaser | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |

Sehun’s POV Parts : Two

It was cracking away at who you were when Sehun helped you to your room and into bed. He tucked you in with a gentle pat on your head and a small smile as he left the room, still smelling like you.

Once he left and shut your door behind him, you waited. Counting the steps it would take for him to get to his room before you heard his door close and the lock click. You wondered why he locked the door – to keep you out or to keep him in? You weren't sure but the barrier between you two was laid out. No sleeping in bed with each other. But maybe if you had, you wouldn't be waiting exactly fifteen minutes after Sehun's lock clicking to unleash the crying of the night.

Tears spilling down your cheeks as you sobbed into your pillow.

Every tear was for Oh Sehun but yet he never saw nor did he know because if he did, he would be gone and you would never be able to forgive yourself for losing your best friend.

The goal was to keep things between you two on the down low and five months in, you had managed to do so. It was strange to you because you hadn't even had actual relationships that long but yet you and Sehun had made your sex life and friendship work. Sehun had never slept with the same girl more than twice before so you knew it was a change for him - although, you knew very well what happened to the girls that Sehun got bored of and you were afraid you would be no different.

You guys never fought and you assumed it was because there was nothing to fight about since you weren't technically a couple but there were many times when he hurt you.

Today became the worst of those times and you tried to believe that it was a nightmare you'd wake up from.

But it wasn’t.

It was the first time you and Sehun had stayed in bed after sex and maybe that was because it was the middle of the day and Sehun was particularly sensitive for some reason he refused to speak of.

He rubbed your naked back gently with his hands as you laid against his chest. "Sometimes I think I'm going to explode. But then you bring me down from that point," he muttered.

You felt the same way but you didn't say it. "I know, Sehun," you said into his skin hugging yourself tighter into him.

"You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you," he said nuzzling your head gently.

You laughed gently, "I know, you goofball. What's got you sentimental today?"

He shrugged, "I just realized how much you mean to me," and then he laughed, "Maybe this is why we don't cuddle after. It makes me really touchy-feely."

But he didn't cuddle with you because of his fear of commitment. "I like soft Sehun," you huffed out.

"You know this is my first time cuddling after sex," he admitted and when you looked up, he held a gentle smile. "You don't believe me when I say your ass is special, but look, exhibit A. I will cuddle no one else."

You rolled your eyes, "When you find the one, you will," and you couldn't ignore the slight bitter note to your voice.

Sehun scoffed, "That's all you, dollface. Not me. I'll be devastated when you find your 'person' but I know one day you will and I will be jealous I don't get your beautiful body anymore."

"How do you know I'll find my 'person'?" You wondered.

He gave you a soft look, "Because somewhere in this world, someone is meant to give you the world. You deserve it. I know I won't be the same way because I have never intended to give someone the world. I guess I’m too self-centered."

His words cut through you like knives and you tried to avoid pulling away from him. You wanted to dress and flee his room, only to cry once more, but you couldn't or he would know that something was up.

Before you could say anything, Sehun's bedroom door creaked open and you immediately saw Junmyeon, one of your and Sehun's close mutual friends standing in the door with furrowed brows until his eyes draped over your bodies and he immediately shot a hand up to his eyes. "Oh my God. Oh my. Oh," and he stood there awkwardly as Sehun chuckled and covered you with the blanket as he threw his boxers on.

"Hey, Jun, what's up?" Sehun asked casually as if nothing had happened. You stayed in bed, frozen with shock and embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you guys were together-"

"Woah," Sehun said with a firm tone, "We're not."

Damn. Talk about rejection.You could fill the ice take over your veins as your body grew cold.

Sehun pulled on jeans as Junmyeon dropped his hand from his eyes, "What?" He asked as his gaze dropped over to you and you were sure he could see how deeply you were blushing. "What do you mean?"

Sehun shrugged, throwing your clothes to you, "We've just been hooking up, it's nothing more than that."

You could feel the pain etch its way onto your face and by the way Junmyeon looked at you, you knew he could see it. "But you aren't dating?"

"No," Sehun said slowly.

"You guys are best friends, live together, are having sex, but won't date?" Junmyeon continued, staring at you as if he could see all of your secrets.

"Why would we? I don't date and I definitely wouldn't date my best friend. She's too good for me and I just honestly don't see her that way," Sehun admitted, not bothering to lower his tone. His words pierced you and immediately you met Junmyeon's eyes, silently asking him to leave the room.

"Oh...okay," Junmyeon said, "I'll wait for you out here. We are going to that party later, remember?" And after Sehun nodded, Junmyeon left and you avoided meeting Sehun's eyes.

Picking up your clothes, and wrapping the blanket around you, you headed for the door. Sehun captured your arm, "Where are you going?" He asked.

You shrugged, "To put my clothes on."

He tried to meet your eyes, "Do it in here, it's not like I haven't seen it all, dollface."

But you didn't want his gaze on your body, not after what he had said.

You were uncomfortable but the look he gave you felt challenging, so you changed quickly and tried to hide the tears until you were alone.

The last thing you wanted was him looking at your body like he owned it when he had no want to own it.

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

A week after Junmyeon had walked in on the two of you, was when he had confronted you about it.

"What are you doing to yourself?" He asked gently as the two of you got hot chocolate together at a local coffee shop.

You shot him a look over your mug, "Nothing," you replied defensively.

He sighed, stirring his hot chocolate gently, "You don't owe me any answers, but we're friends and from what it looks like, you aren't having a healthy relationship with Sehun anymore. What happened?"

"Everything is fine," you whispered.

"Are you trying to convince me or are you trying to convince yourself?"

How did he know you so well?

While Sehun was your best friend, Junmeyon was almost just as close to you. Something about Junmyeon always stood out to you and you assumed it was the way he felt like he had to nurture those around him. He had always nurtured you when Sehun wasn't doing so. The times you would all go to a club together and Sehun would leave with a girl, Junmyeon would stay sober and be sure to give you his jacket on the chilly nights and drive you home.

So to say that he didn't really have the right to prod you for answers, wouldn't be right. He was always concerned about you and now was just another one of those times. You practically owed it to the man who had done so much for you.

But to say you were embarrassed was an understatement.

Junmyeon knew how Sehun was. You knew how Sehun was.

The fact that you had fell victim to a part of Sehun you shouldn't have, was something you didn't want to share because you knew how much some of your friends look down on the way Sehun was. Junmyeon being one of those. And now he was looking at you as if he saw right through you... and it scared you.

"How long has this been going on?" He wondered but his tone wasn't overbearing. He wasn't pressing you to tell him but something about Junmyeon always made you want to tell him regardless.

You pushed the hot chocolate away from you, not wanting to drink anymore since you lost your appetite. "We've been sleeping together for five months," you groaned out.

Junmyeon put his hand on your arm, "I mean how long have you been in love with him?"

Your gaze snapped up to him and your jaw dropped, "I...I-"

"You think I'm blind, I've loved before so I think I know what it looks like when I see it – the miserable kind of love where you know it's doomed. So how long?"

Staring down at your hands, you breathed out through your nose with a huff, "I don’t know. Just one-day things changed and I loved him."

Without looking up, you could see how hard Junmyeon was shaking his head, "Friends with benefits is bull shit. It never fucking works. It's impossible to have sex with someone over and over and expect feelings not to develop. It's just a relationship that is selfish because it's saying you want someone but you don’t want to put in the work of an actual relationship."

Then, your gaze shot up and you stared at his dark eyes. He was so insightful at times that it baffled you. While you knew he was probably right, there was something different about your case. Normally, in the friends with benefits story, both friends secretly love each other – but here, with you and Sehun? You were in love with him but he only loved you as a friend. "Jun, you know Sehun. The relationship is working on his end. Just not mine."

"End it then."

"I can't."

His expression hardened, "Tell Sehun how you feel, Y/N. You're not expected to be his sex slave."

You shook your head, "I'm too afraid to lose him."

"This relationship is toxic and the sooner you see that, the better for you,"

Junmyeon looked at you with what could almost be considered a desperate expression. “Jun, I'll be okay,” but you were lying because you knew that you absolutely wouldn’t be okay. One day when this whole relationship with Sehun ended, the last thing you would be was okay.

“I wish you would realize the position you're in. Sehun said right in front of you that he didn’t want a relationship. What do you think is going to happen? You're just going to get hurt.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, “I'm already hurt.”

Junmyeon caught your gaze, “Yeah, you may already be. But amplify that feeling times a hundred and that’s what you’ll feel when this all comes crumbling down.”

You didn’t want to face it but Junmyeon was right and it didn’t take him long to prove that.

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

Junmyeon’s talk didn’t stop you from coming home that night and caving to the very toxicity that was your relationship with Sehun.

How could you resist him when he said all the right things and touched you all the right ways?

You had avoided Junmyeon for a week and spent every night with Sehun and now, it was finally wearing on you.

Waking up with tears crusted on your cheeks and bruises on your body was the norm. Forcing yourself up out of bed before the sun rose used to be hard – but you weren't sleeping much at night anymore.

In the shower, you felt yourself scrubbing your skin harder than normal as you tried to get the remains of Sehun from your skin. Junmyeon’s talk was haunting you and you felt the shame of the morning after - or well, week after. He knew what you were doing to yourself and Sehun and that made your shame all that much worse.

No matter how hard your nails scraped across the bruises and purple hickeys dotting your skin, they didn’t go away. Sehun marked you as if you were his property but yet, you would never get that privilege.

You counted in the shower, moving slowly to wash your hair and every inch of your body so you could be sure when you got out, that Sehun would be gone. You didn’t want to face him this morning. In fact, you needed some time away from him. He owned your body too much lately and you felt weak.

It was sad how your friendship once was so fun. You didn’t have to be cautious the way you were now. You would shower quickly, walk out of your room in a t-shirt and underwear and make breakfast for the two of you. Sehun had to notice that something had changed for you because now you made sure you wouldn’t see him in the mornings. You were too vulnerable and you were sure he would be able to tell that you had been crying.

Once you were certain Oh Sehun was gone, you got out of the shower with a jolt of cold air your body wasn’t used to after the hot scalding water you had used to wash away your sins.

You went to work, trying your best to have bright smiles at the office even though you knew your judgmental co-workers could see the marks you struggled to cover but you hoped they wouldn't see the bags under your eyes that you coated with concealer. You dressed well enough that from far away you could seem put together with a long pencil skirt and crisp white blouse, but up close you wouldn't fool a soul.

Thankfully you worked in an office so while you only had a cubical between you and your co-worker Kyungsoo, you felt contained from the judgment of others for the time being. Not that Kyungsoo ever judged you. He was the only one who didn't. He would ask how you were and when you said good, he wouldn't make an attempt to force a story out of you that he knew you had.

Just like he did when he heard the familiar tap of your shoes across the tiled shoes. As you walked by his desk, he stood and offered you a smile. “I got you coffee this morning,” he said.

You instantly felt yourself melt because even if it was the smallest of gestures, it meant so much to you. Especially when your world was crashing around you. “That is so kind,” you said as you gave him a smile back, “you know the ways to my heart.”

He nodded, “I figured it would give you a boost,” he said handing you the paper cup as he sipped his own. “It's your favorite, and plain black – ‘like your soul’,” he said repeating some of the words he told you before.

A laugh escaped your lips and while it surprised you it felt so good. “You're much better than Amber and her friend with the unibrow,”

Kyungsoo snorted, “Of course I am. I don’t spend my work hours talking about who wore the worst shoes today.”

Placing a hand on the cubical wall, you laughed. “How are you today?” Kyungsoo was clearly shocked to see you in such a good mood and being the one to ask the question first because his eyebrows shot up. Something about his kindness was just touching you in all the right and tender places today. How could the simplest gestures and words do that? Especially after the crying fit you had last night.

Friends outside of Sehun is exactly what you needed because he was the last thing on your mind when Kyungsoo had started to talk to you.

“I'm good, as always. I'm boring, you know that,” he said giving you a little wink. “My days and nights are spent reading books and drinking milk,” he laughed, “How are you today?” his eyes searched your face but his voice gave away nothing.

But today, you decided to be more honest than normal. “Well, I'm alive.”

He was clearly expecting the normal lie that fell from your lips. He hummed for a moment, “Is there anything going on?”

You looked at him with dark eyes, “Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

“No.”

Kyungsoo chewed on his lip but kept his resolve. “Do you want to get out of the house tonight?”

Your demeanor that had gone dark, perked up. “What?”

“Do you want to do something?” he repeated. “It might make you feel better.”

With narrowed eyes, you gave him a half smile, “I thought all you did was read and drink milk.”

He pursed his lips, “Well, I can do other stuff too.”

"Sure," you found yourself saying before you could even process what Kyungsoo had said. The thing was, Sehun had the sex drive of well – a college boy – and this had you guys sleeping together regularly and almost daily. Would Sehun be upset if you weren't home when he was tonight? "What do you want to do?" You asked as you tried to push Sehun back to the back of your head. Maybe what you needed was to get away from him.

His nose crinkled, "Are you into art exhibits? I have a friend who has a showcase."

You raised a brow in interest, "I may be."

"There will be wine."

"I'm in," you said with a smile.

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

Once work had ended, you and Kyungsoo had parted ways after he had given you a little pat on the back.

It was a bit after four and the art show started around six thirty so going home would be dangerous for those two and a half hours. Sehun would most definitely be home and while you should have told him you were going out, you knew he would coax you not to go just the way he had done before when you had tried to go out with other co-workers in the past at the beginning of your relationship with him.

You snorted to yourself. Lack of relationship fit better.

Grabbing your phone from your purse, you called the only other person you could trust. The person whose harsh disappointment that you didn't want to face.

"Y/N," Junmyeon breathed.

You paused, taking in the comforting sound of his voice. Even if he had made you feel worse, he had also made you feel better. "Jun, I have a favor to ask."

"Anything."

"Can I come to your house for like two hours?"

Junmyeon paused for a moment. "You don't ever have to ask."

After a fifteen minute drive, you arrived in front of Junmyeon's medium sized house. Your eyes shot around, looking at the house you had seen so many times before. You sighed. Somehow, his house felt like home to you and even more so now. When your eyes drifted over to the window, you could see him pulled the blinds down to look out and you laughed.

Before you could even knock, Junmyeon was pulling open the door and welcoming you inside.

"You look great," he complimented with a nod as the two of you stood by the door.

You tried not to let a blush heat on your cheeks, "I've been at work for over eight hours. There's no way I can still look good."

He scoffed, "You always look great.”

Regardless of your effort, your cheeks heated up anyway and you gave your friend a smile. “Thanks, you cheese ball. Now, do you have some of my clothes here still?”

He nodded once and then twice, “You used to crash here a lot back then,” he said referring to the time before the friends with benefits fuck fest you had with Sehun. “and you would always throw up on your clothes. So of course, I have so much of your clothes.”

Ignoring the memories surrounding your throw up soaked clothes, you played with your purse, “Would you mind if I showered and got ready here?”

Junmyeon nodded again, wanting to ask why but not wanting to overstep.

“I'm going to an art show with a co-worker and if I went home… I doubt Sehun would let me leave. I won't be home till late and I don’t feel like explaining it all to him right now. Especially when it's not a female co-worker.”

That look you didn’t want to see from Junmyeon crossed his face, “You don’t owe him anything. You deserve a nice night out, even if it's with a man. Go take a long shower, I'll whip you up something to eat, okay?”

The way Junmyeon’s eyes bored at you made you feel like he could see your soul but yet, you didn’t care. He was good to you even if he gave you tough love. He loved you the way Sehun should. As a friend and from a safe distance. Even if you had crushed on Junmyeon a while ago that didn’t mean you had to have a relationship like you and Sehun had. This was the real world and not everything had to come down to sex.

Giving him a tiny nod, you rushed off to shower. After finding some of your clothes in Junmyeon's spare room, you walked into the bathroom that was adjoined to the room and you couldn't help but smile and also grimace at the memories you had in that bathroom.

"Y/N," Junmyeon said gently. "Hey, are you in there?"

Your eyes fluttered open and Junmyeon's handsome face was over yours and peering at you as if you were an animal he was about to poke with a stick. "What?" You groaned groggily.

"You threw up all over yourself and then passed out on the floor."

You looked around and realized you were sprawled out on Junmyeon's guest bathroom tiled floor and alcohol scented throw up coated your neck, arms, and torso. The alcohol was still thrumming in your system because you felt dizzy and like you could throw up again. Junmyeon also had three eyes and if you remembered right, he didn't normally.

"Why did Sehun let you drink so much?" He asked with concern etched on his face.

Closing your eyes for a minute you remembered why exactly you were so drunk and that was because Sehun had ditched you for the first pretty girl he found and you were nursing a broken heart after learning that your mother's cancer had come back for the third time and it was more aggressive than ever. Sehun knew exactly that but he was too obsessed with watching beautiful women to care about what you were mentally going through. Even so, you knew he would be there for you when he came to the next morning. "M'he found a girl and left me alone."

Junmyeon had come to you when you drunk dialed him and you wailed about your mother's cancer on the phone. He had been at the club within ten minutes even though you knew it had to be at least double that from his house. You didn't miss the way Junmyeon's face contorted as he pulled you up gently. "Let's take a shower, okay?"

"But Jun," you whined as you drew out his name. "I don't want to."

He sighed and pulled you to a standing position even though you were covered in vomit. "You need to clean off, Y/N," he said in a gentle voice.

You grabbed his arms tightly and stared at him, "Don't leave me alone."

Patting your hair gently, Junmyeon gave you a once over. "What do you want me to do? You're covered in throw up and you need to get sobered up."

"Shower with me," you whined.

And so he did.

But not in a perverted or 'taking advantage of you' type of way but as a best friend who just wanted his friend to be cleaned up.

Keeping you in your bra and underwear and Junmyeon in his boxers, he cleaned you off gently while you clutched onto his arms to keep from falling. He was gentle and looked at you as if you were the most fragile piece of glass and in that moment you wondered why Sehun was the one you lived with and not Junmyeon.

He washed your hair for you, being sure to lather it to the very tips. You giggled as he massaged the shampoo at your roots, "What are you giggling about?" He questioned in a playful voice as he continued to work at your hair.

"You could work at a hair salon," you said laughing. "You're too good at washing someone else's hair."

He scoffed, "I work at a music production company, Y/N."

"Well, clearly this is your true calling."

And he couldn't help but laugh back at you.

That night, Junmyeon gave you some of his warmest clothes to wear while he washed the clothes that were soiled and let your bra air dry. He tucked you into the bed in the guest bedroom and gave you a gentle pat before leaving you to sleep. Which you did. Even with the weight of your mother's cancer weighing down on you, you slept well with the smell of Junmyeon all around you.

That was just one of the many times that Junmyeon was the one to sober you up. It had been five months since the last time since you and Sehun didn't go to clubs anymore but the memories were still engrained in your head. Thinking about it now, he seemed to nurture you more than Sehun did and that thought hurt.

Why was Sehun your best friend? Junmyeon surely deserved that place.

You showered quickly, remembering all the times you had seen Junmyeon's bare chest in the shower and it left a blush on your face. He was so handsome and had a great body so it made you wonder why he wasn't like Sehun and constantly hooking up with girls. Although, Junmyeon was more of a gentleman than Sehun and a couple years older.

There was a simple sundress that you had in the closet of the guest room so you paired that with some wedges that were tucked under the bed and after towel drying your hair, putting on Junmyeon's deodorant and some of the perfume you had in your purse, you left the bathroom.

When you entered the kitchen, you saw Junmyeon standing over the stove and humming softly to himself. "Thanks, Jun. I didn't realize how long it's been since I last stayed here but I appreciate you keeping my clothes."

Waving his hand and shaking his head, he laughed, "Of course. I was hoping it would make you visit more."

That made your heart sink. You had been so caught up in Sehun to have given your other good friend enough attention. Friendship was a garden and you had gone five months without watering it. Walking up to him, you wrapped your arms around his waist and gave him the warmest and tightest hug you could. Junmyeon didn't deserve to go without being 'watered'. He let out a bright chuckle.

"Aren't guys supposed to be the ones back hugging girls?"

"Oh shut up. This is my way to apologize for not being around more often."

When you released him, he plated the food he had been cooking and handed it to you. You looked down at that pasta with a smile.

Sharing the food with you and Junmyeon, the two of you caught up on what had been going on in the past few months while you tried to ignore the rapid vibration of your phone against your hip.

Being sure to not look at the calls and texts from Sehun, you texted Kyungsoo asking for the address, but instead, he asked for your address and picked you up thirty minutes before the art show.

Being the gentleman that he is, he met you at the door and gave Junmyeon a small smile when he saw the man standing behind you.

"This is Kyungsoo, Junmyeon. Kyungsoo, this is one of my best friends, Junmyeon."

The two men exchanged nods before Kyungsoo smiled at you. "Do you want to come along, Junmyeon?" Kyungsoo asked, "There's free wine," he added with a wink.

Junmyeon laughed, "That sounds great but I have a lot of work to do tonight."

You looked over at Junmyeon with puppy dog eyes hoping he would change his mind but he just playfully rolled his eyes.

"Just go, you can owe me a movie night later."

And you agreed as you and Kyungsoo made your trip to the art show.

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

"Woah, she's hot! Where have you been hiding her?" The tall man with a sleek black shirt and blue slacks asked with a raised eyebrow. He was gorgeous, just as all the males around you seemed to be and you found yourself intimidated by it.

Kyungsoo grabbed the man's wrist when he reached out towards you. "Have some self-restraint, Chanyeol." He turned to you, still holding Chanyeol's wrist as Chanyeol winced in pain and whined for him to stop. "Y/N, this is Chanyeol. He's the friend I was telling you about."

You gave him a soft nod, "Nice to meet you, Chanyeol."

From his looks, you would have pegged him to be a model instead of an artist but when you followed him and Kyungsoo over to his part of the room, you stared in shock. His work was beautiful and dark. None of it was bright and beautiful like most of the work you had seen but it was all dark shades of blues, reds, and grays. Each painting made you feel the pain it looked like the tall man was hiding inside and instantly it made you want to hug him.

"Wow," you said in awe.

Kyungsoo was next to you and he smiled. "He's good, isn't he?"

You were having trouble even blinking because of the beautiful art around you.

"If only he wasn't so annoying, I would think he was a genius."

Chanyeol nudged Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo just nudged back harder and you tried to ignore the two bickering. You hadn’t seen Kyungsoo so playful with someone and it made you want to laugh. "Chanyeol, this work is amazing. Really amazing. Breathtaking."

He strode towards you and pushed Kyungsoo away, "Thank you very much."

"How do you do it?" You wondered while looking up at his tall form, "Where do you draw all of this pain from?"

Chanyeol looked off in the distance and reached for a glass of wine that was on a table nearby him. "I have a lot of experiences and memories to pull it from."

Another heartbroken artist, you noted. It seemed too often that most of the artists of the world whether they make music, art pieces, or write were always the most tortured souls. You guessed that's why they were the best at creation though because they had been through some rough places. Surely, you had enough things from your life that you should be able to create something but it seemed that wasn't something you were good at.

The more you felt your phone vibrate, the more you worried about what Sehun was thinking, saying, or doing but you tried to not fret as you sipped at wine and followed Kyungsoo to different art works.

"Are you okay?" Kyungsoo had asked as he pulled you to the side and away from the people mingling around you. "You have a look."

Biting your lip, you sighed. "It's nothing."

He raised a brow.

"It's complicated, Soo. Maybe I'll explain it later but I don't want to think about it right now."

Kyungsoo nodded, "Okay. Don't think about it then. Come help me make fun of Chanyeol."

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

You went home late that night. After the show, you had spent a few hours out with Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and his friend Baekhyun and you had to admit it was more fun than you had in a while. The three men were like children in ways and after eating breakfast for a really late dinner, you went to an arcade.

Going home after midnight for the first time in a long time was odd. You found yourself sneaking in very carefully so Sehun wouldn't hear you but to your dislike, Sehun was sitting on the couch when you came in, his eyes wide open and bloodshot.

"Where were you?" He asked with a slight slur to his voice.

You sighed. "I went out with a co-worker."

He glared at you. "But I was lonely and waiting for you for hours."

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"You didn’t answer my calls, dollface," he finally stood and walked over to you. "I needed you to answer those calls."

He stood in front of you, smelling of a mixture of cologne, alcohol, and perfume? No, it couldn't be – why would he smell of perfume? His hands reached out, desperately grabbing your face as they shook. "Sehun-"

"You can't leave me alone, dollface. Don't do that again."

And with that, he pressed his lips to yours and while you weren't in the mood and you wanted so badly to push him away and take some control of your life, you couldn't. He was Sehun and he was a slippery slope.

Even though your skin seared as he touched the bare parts of your arms, you didn't push him away. His lips moving down your jaw in a sloppy motion that had your hands shaking too. His lips moved down to your throat, adding to the vast array of semi-fresh and fading marks you already had. Something had gotten into him tonight because he was tearing at your clothes in no time and he had made no movement to migrate to the bedroom. His calloused hands were rough against your skin and while he had the tendency to be rough, tonight was much more intense than you ever remembered.

Sehun pressed you into the wall, forcing his tongue into your mouth when you opened your mouth to yelp. His kiss made you breathless.

You loved Sehun so much that you wanted to cry and even if you hadn’t had the intentions on sleeping with him tonight, now you did.

At first, you wanted to tell him to stop so the two of you could just have a friends night where you stayed up and played video games even though you had to work early in the morning - but his touch was intoxicating and you found yourself growing limp underneath him. Your heart was being fed from the touches and kisses of Oh Sehun and that made you never want to stop.

“I want you so bad,” the words escaped your lips before you could stop them and Sehun had a wicked grin on his face.

He all but tore your dress and undergarments trying to get them off but you were too far gone to notice as you helped him. You could feel your eyes shake with excitement as Sehun pulled his shirt over his head. Not only were you the one with marks decorating your skin, but Sehun had some too from you - but if you could remember right, you had never left any on his neck before so why did he have two small purple marks there now?

“Do you understand how you make me feel, dollface?” His eyes were wild, wilder than they had been in a while and it sent shivers down your spine as your eyes left his neck and focused on his eyes.

You couldn’t reply before Sehun had pulled down his pants in a haste and reattached your lips together. Reaching down to touch him, he smacked your hand away and instead grabbed one of your legs and hoisting it up. He smiled into the kiss as he roughly pressed two fingers inside your warmth and causing you to moan. His other hand gripped roughly at your leg as he thrust his fingers inside you, being sure to try to get you to scream.

“You know what I want to hear, beautiful,” he growled in your ear.

And it was that easy. That easy to have you crumbling underneath Sehun and screaming out his name.

After bringing you to a rough and messy orgasm, Sehun lifted you up against the wall. His hands gripped at the backs of your knees as he pressed you even further against the wall and making your back ache but in the moment, you didn’t care. His hands may have been pinching at your skin but your body was thriving off it. Your body thrived off his touches sexually even if they were painful - although, Sehun knew you liked a little pain.

Draping one of your legs over his shoulder, he used his free hand to grab his arousal and rub it along your slit, making you moan out in anticipation. “What? Now you want me?”

You nodded desperately as he stared you in the eyes and chuckled.

“Why were you out then? Instead of being home with me?”

Being so in the mood made your senses all fuzzy but you swore you could hear hurt in his tone. Why would he be hurt?

He didn’t let you answer as he thrust inside you. Your fingers shot out, finding their place on his shoulders as you cried out.

Sehun’s nails raked up and down your thigh a few times before his hand settled back on your knee and he picked up his pace, fucking you roughly into the wall.

The atmosphere between the two of you was different and it felt dark. Sehun looked at you as if he was punishing you in a way but he also looked at you like he was about to break.

He may have been being rough and making your back hurt, but you could still see your best friend if you peeled back the layers.

In that moment, you realized how fucked the two of you were.

Everything in your relationship was changing and not for the best.

It was evident even more when Sehun hit his peak, climaxed inside you and held you against the wall for a moment. He stared at you in a sort of shock before cleaning you up and leaving the room.

He didn’t tuck you in or make sure you were okay like normal and that made you cry even harder that night.

This time, it was you who locked the door.

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

The next morning as you laid alone in bed, you tried not to cry. Last night with Sehun was different and you weren't sure if it was because he was drunk – or what - but something was off. Sehun was rough and while he got that way in the past during sex, this time was worse. He gripped you so tightly that the bruises were darker than normal. Most often they were small but now, you could see them thickly on your skin and you weren't sure how to hide the ones that spotted your arms.

He had gotten so possessive – but why? Why was he possessive over something he refused to have? You weren't in a relationship so why did he try to claim you in a way that wasn't his to claim.

You wanted to run away. To leave Sehun and stay on the other side of the world if you could and depart the impending doom that was your relationship – but you couldn't. Without him, were you even anyone at all? Without loving Sehun, who were you? It had been long enough that you didn’t remember anymore.

You loved him so much that it hurt.

But what was it getting you? More and more pain. Sehun trying to have ownership of you when you weren't his. What was going on?

Deep in your heart, it told you to end things then and there before it got any toxic but instead, you covered the marks and found yourself going to work.

Kyungsoo watched you with careful eyes upon seeing the marks and you knew he wanted to ask where you had gotten them but instead, you came close and whispered, "Are you in danger?"

That made you laugh. Yes, Sehun was rough but he wasn't hitting you or anything like that. He had just gotten carried away – not that you could tell Kyungsoo that. "No," you said with a laugh. "Nothing of that sort." Although it was consensual, you still felt hurt even as you laughed it off. It wasn’t marks you were proud to bear even if you did love Sehun and things were consensual.

Kyungsoo continued to watch you though. Maybe waiting for a warning sign that you needed help you wouldn’t ask for.

Around your break time when fatigue was starting to hit you, Junmyeon started to call. With a smile, you picked up the phone feeling your heart lighten up. "Hey, Jun."

"Hey," he said shortly and you heard him breathe out a few times before sighing. "Listen, can I see you after work?"

His tone instantly brought you back down and you looked at your nails nervously. "What's going on?"

"Don't stress yourself too much. I just want to talk about some stuff that needs to be in person."

Kyungsoo looked at you in worry once you were off the phone and had agreed to wait for Junmyeon to pick you up from work.

"I'm okay, Soo. Don't worry about me."

He knew better though.

If you said you were 'okay', it most definitely didn't mean that you were okay.

Something told you it was about Sehun and whatever it was, you didn't want to face it. Couldn't you curl in a ball and not face the world?

Junmyeon was waiting for you the second you clocked out and it made you smile. He was a busy man and the fact that he was such a gentleman to you truly meant the world. He was accommodating to you and it caused an embarrassing blush to cover your cheeks.

Walking out with Kyungsoo, you gave him a half-hug as the two of you parted and Junmyeon got out of the car to open the door for you. "You look beautiful, as always," he said as he gestured for you to get into the car and once you were buckled with all limbs inside, he shut the door and jogged around to the other side of the car.

"How was work?" He asked in a gentle voice as he started the car and backed out.

"The same as always," you said watching the scenery change as you made your way onto the main road. "How long do you plan on beating around the bush?" You wondered.

He bit his lip and his dark eyes flashed over to yours for a moment, "Until we get to my place."

"Jun," you whined feeling your heart hammer against your chest. So, it was bad. It was really bad if he couldn't tell you out right.

He shook his head. "Tell me about that little black-haired boy, Kyungsoo."

Crossing your arms over your chest and trying to calm your heart and head, you looked out the window. "I'm not a thirteen-year-old girl. Not every boy around me is someone."

Junmyeon cocked his head to the side and kept his eyes on the road. "Well, you did avoid telling Sehun and you got dressed up to go out with him so I assumed-"

"You know I love, Sehun," you groaned and resisted the urge to bang your head against the window.

Junmyeon winced. "I know. But I was just hoping-"

"That I'd be interested in someone else?"

He nodded.

"Me too," you whispered.

Licking his lips, he flicked a hand at you. "I can see the bruises. He's not very gentle with you, is he?" His question was thick with judgment but you didn't take it to heart. It was Junmyeon. One of your best friends outside of Sehun and if he was judging anyone, it was Sehun. "You deserve better than that, you know. Rough is good and all, Y/N, but that is too rough."

Chills traveled down your skin.

You wanted to shrink into your seat. "It was a one-time thing," you mumbled.

"What?" He said and you could see him cringe. "When did it happen?"

"That's personal."

"Y/N," he pushed. "Please."

"Last night."

"After the art show? Late at night?"

You glanced at him sideways, his tone had increased to a high pitched one. "Yeah. Why?"

His mouth clamped shut and his hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"Junmyeon."

But he refused to say anything else and turned up the radio until he pulled up to his house and opened the car door for you. His eyes were dark and unreadable as he helped you out of the car and into his house.

Once inside, Junmyeon unbuttoned the top buttons of his dress shirt and plopped onto the couch, patting the seat next to him.

Once you sat down, his eyes watched you just as your eyes watched him. Junmyeon didn't always look this harsh and worried and the fact made your heart want to launch straight from your chest.

"Are you and Sehun exclusive?"

So you started to shake.

"E-exclusive?"

Junmyeon put a hand on your arm. "Yes, are you and Sehun only sleeping with each other – I already know he won't date you but did you both agree not to sleep with anyone else?"

You grabbed onto Junmyeon's arm tightly as you nodded.

"Okay, so I know I said one time..." Sehun trailed off as the two of you ate lunch together.

You looked up at him as you stirred your tea as your eyebrow flicked up. "And it's been what, ten times since then?"

He gave you his signature smirk. "What can I do? It's all you."

You scoffed and kept your gaze down at your plate. "What's your point?"

"Let's make this a little more permanent," he suggested and you froze.

Permanent?

Did he want to date?

Your heart woke up from its cold slumber inside your chest and you felt it palpitating. Why were you suddenly feeling like a school girl again? It was just Sehun and you just were just friends.

Right?

"Permanent?" You said as you cast your eyes upwards at him and damn – was he handsome or what?

"Not like that, don't look so scared. I would never be in a committed relationship," but you weren't scared. You were excited for a moment until he crushed that. What were you even thinking? "just like a friends-with-benefits thing. You get laid without having to worry about a douche bag boyfriend and I don't have to worry about going to a bar and wasting money to pick a girl up. We benefit each other that way."

What could it hurt? You liked sleeping with Sehun the past almost dozen times and it wasn't something you really wanted to give up yet. The two of you couldn't get hurt if you agreed it wouldn't be more than sex. But you were still unsure. "I don't know... I don't want to ruin our friendship and I definitely don't want to sleep with you if you're going to be getting other girls on the side." Sehun had slept with some questionable girls in the past and you didn’t want any part of that.

Sehun scoffed, "For one if our friendship was to get ruined wouldn't it already have? We've fucked like ten times and two, I would only sleep with you," he must have caught your shocked glare because he immediately stuck his hands up, "What? You should trust me! Sure, I don't want to stick to one girl but that's because they want a relationship – you know that's not what I'm offering. If I have you to sleep with, I don't need anyone else."

"So exclusive? Just me and you? No sleeping around behind each other's backs?"

He gave you a look, "Not that you would sleep around behind my back,” and he made a good point. Even if it wasn’t a traditional relationship, you would be loyal. Sehun knew that. He went on, “besides, we already fulfill each other sexually as you know. So yes, exclusive."

And you couldn't ignore the excitement in your stomach about having Sehun all to yourself.

"Yes, we are exclusive."

Junmyeon made a choking sound. "I need you to listen to me."

Your grip tightened around Junmyeon's arm. "Please, Jun."

He closed his eyes and licked his lips as he gripped your arm himself, "Sehun took a girl home last night."

The feeling of the world crashing down around you hit you and you knew that if you had been standing, you would have fallen over.

You wanted to leave, throw things, cry, and hit Sehun all at the same time. You were angry and it felt like your vision may have well been red. Junmyeon gripped you tightly as if he had seen it coming and you wanted to fight his hold but you couldn't. Instead, tears fell from your eyes as he pulled you into his arms and held tightly.

So Sehun had slept with another girl and while that had bothered you that he breached the agreement, there were other things that had bothered you more. One being that you were in love with him and even though he wouldn't give you the relationship you wanted, you didn't try to find that somewhere else. You stayed loyal to a man that you expected to at least stay loyal sex wise. Secondly, you were hurt that not only had he slept with another girl, but he slept with her and then slept with you – as if nothing had happened.

At no point did he try to talk to you about it and you hadn't had a single text message from him all day.

You were also mad at yourself.

You should have known better.

But you trusted. Trusted your best friend not to do something to you that he knew you didn't like. Was he planning on telling you at all?

All you knew was that you wanted to explode and that you would have if Junmyeon wasn't holding you together like glue.

"I can't believe he did that to you. He should have never been with you the same night he was with someone else," Junmyeon whispered in your ear, "You deserve so much better. A man that will have you and only you because you are enough."

"But am I?" You asked with a sob.

Junmyeon rubbed your back. "Yes. Yes, you are," his voice was firm, "Don’t let any boy make you think any differently."

You hadn't ever felt such a distaste for your best friend. You had seen him doing similar things to girls in the past, but then you thought nothing of it. It wasn’t you so it didn’t bother you. Which made you feel idiotic. Why would you be different than one of his other girls?

Where in Sehun’s brain did it tell him that you would be okay with this?

It was as if even through your tears, you could taste the revenge that you wanted so badly. You wanted to hurt Sehun and hurt him good – and you knew just what would get him.

Not only were you nursing a broken heart but now you were filled with rage,

He had hurt you and not considered your feelings so now you would do the same because you would be damned if you wouldn’t fight fire with fire.

↣♜ ♜ ♜↢

Jongin was one of Sehun’s best friends besides Junmyeon. The best part about their friendship was that Jongin was attracted to you and unlike you and Junmyeon, the two of you weren't friends. Not that you disliked each other, you just weren’t close.

It would be easy to rope Jongin in on your plan.

And that it was.

All it took was you texting him to meet up at a bar nearby your and Sehun’s apartment.

He looked at you with dark eyes and in that moment you took the time to notice how different looking he was as opposed to Sehun. He was basically tall, dark, and handsome whereas Sehun was tall, sleazy, and hot. “You’ve never invited me out before,” he noted taking a drink from his glass, “I'm surprised.”

“I'm bored of Sehun,” you lied as you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Jongin knew of your arrangement with Sehun you found out because Sehun had to explain to his friend why he wasn’t out chasing girls anymore.

He licked his lips and pointed to your legs which were bare since you were wearing shorts. The bruises were visible for anyone to see. “Are you now?”

“Contrary to the looks of it, yes.”

Jongin looked off into the distance. “Why are you just now coming to me?” he flirted. “I have been trying to get you in my bed for years.”

“How do you know I’m trying to get in your bed?” you played coy.

He scoffed. “Why else would you text me? I’ll be very disappointed if this is just two friends getting a drink together.”

Now it was your turn to scoff, “We’re not friends.” And fuck, it was good you weren’t.

“I agree and while I was going to warn you that I wouldn’t be so gentle considering we aren’t friends, but it looks like you’re used to rough - and maybe even rougher than I like it.”

You bit your lip, “Can you make me forget about Sehun?”

He laughed. “I can make you forget everything.”

Being sick in the head at that time, you decided to bring Jongin back to your place instead of going to his. You were going to sleep with Jongin right under the same rough that Sehun had slept with another woman under.

That’s the kind of sick revenge you were going for.

You wanted Sehun to smell Jongin on you and on your sheets.

You wanted him to hurt like you did.

Maybe you would even fuck Sehun right after Jongin just to fully get your payback. Oh you were going to fight with a fire bigger than Sehun’s had been. Sure, he had slept with another girl when you were exclusive and you were about to do the same - except with one of his best friends.

Jongin was different than Sehun and it excited you. You could feel your blood pumping in your veins and your body anticipated every touch Jongin placed on your skin.

His kisses were a different temperature than Sehun’s. He didn’t kiss you so frantically but he also didn’t kiss you like he loved you. He kissed you like he wanted you to forget Sehun and the more he did it, the closer you got.

If you thought his kisses were nice, his body was even better and you took note as you ran your hands down his abdomen. Jongin smirked, “Sehun doesn’t look like this, does he?”

You shook your head but that’s the last name you wanted to hear so you fully stripped Jongin down being surprised that he had let you have so much control. He was sitting on the edge of your bed as you bent down in front of him. There was a mischevious glint in his eyes as you bent down and wrapped your lips around Jongin’s arousal.

He cried out as you dipped your head, taking Jongin as far as you could and feeling his thighs tremble under your hands.

Licking your way back up his length and dropping back down a few times, you started to get lost in Jongin. You couldn’t help the moans that came from your throat even though he hadn’t touched you. It was like you were hypnotized and you lost track of time while you had Jongin crumbling beneath you. You got so caught up to the point that you almost forgot it was Jongin and not Sehun until that very person that you didn’t want to think about, came barging in your bedroom.

“What the fuck?”

Calmly, you lifted your mouth from Jongin and he was staring at you in shock.

Looking back at Sehun, you glared at him.

“What the fuck are you doing, dollface?”

“Exactly what the fuck you did to me.” You stood up, pulling your top back on and throwing Jongin his pants that were on the floor.

Pushing past Sehun, you tried to fight the angry and ashamed tears.

He tried to stop you. To come after you as he yelled multiple comforting and hurtful things at your back. Things like ‘I care about you’ and ‘how low are you to fuck my best friend?’.

Jongin dressed and followed behind you, helping you leave the house as Sehun’s verbal assault and protests carried on.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but you were already blind as it was. Blinded by love and hatred for Oh Sehun.

↣♜ three ♜↢

|masterlist|

a/n: Congrats to my Exo babies for bringing home another daesang!!

#exo #exo fanfic #exo series #exo angst #exo smut #exo au #exo fan fiction #sehun #sehun fanfic #sehun series #sehun angst #sehun smut #sehun au #sehun fan fiction #sehun scenario

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