#crack crack crackity-cracking
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Is Trent Crimm deeply disappointed that he missed the whole locker room scene where the team airs their “stop hogging Jamie” grievances or deeply relieved? On the one hand, reporter instincts for a good story, on the other hand his own morals would never let him put it I the book, massive (reporter/writer) blue balls.
re: Jamie Hogging Ask-
some days ago on the Colin/Jamie post, you mentioned that you'd daydreamed out a bit of an AU where Jamie ended up dating a whole section of the team on some sort of rotation schedule. I assume that there was some dramatic locker room scene where they all hashed out that they felt it was unfair that only Colin on the team got to date him.
I assume Trent was no longer hanging around the locker rooms at this point (but who knows, he may be a fixture now. also it could be mid season 3 when this all goes down, idk). But he still has the instinct to know when a really good/interesting story is around. On the one hand, he knows his conscience won't let him publish the level of ridiculousness that Richmond can sink to. On the other hand, it would be really really funny to write a whole chapter on the way that this was negotiated out, and also that a google calendar/groupchat was created specifically for coordinating who gets to monopolize Jamie and when.
Ooh, love the way you think, nonny!
If Trent weren’t around for all that he’d be massively disappointed, I think. Yes, as a (former) journalist he’s driven to share the truth, but I think he’s even more driven to know the truth. He can keep quiet when he has to – see: Colin kissing Michael – but realizing he’s missed out on Something Good? Ah, no, that’ll drive him nuts.
But now that you’ve suggested it, I am convinced he was there. Admittedly, in my head this whole thing goes down quite some time after the S3 finale, but that’s not a problem! Even though the book’s both written and published, I’m sure Trent finds plenty of reasons to stop by Nelson Road for a visit. He’s a Diamon Dog now, right? Gotta drop in for the weekly barking session! (Ted Zooms in sometimes, which is always a treat.) Besides, Trent grew very fond of the whole team while he was there, and though he gets most of the gossip from Colin – they obviously stay in touch, Trent knows all about the Jamie situation – he still wants to hear the coaches’ takes on everything that goes on, hang out with the rest of the lads for a bit. So, yeah, he’s there.
I think he might write the chapter, actually – knowing full well he can’t ever publish it, but needing to put it down even so. Get it out of his system, somehow. Also, it gives him a chance to indulge in all the (affectionate!) sarcastic and wry little comments he dutifully left out of the actual book!
Say Trent’s showed up one morning before practise while everyone’s getting changed and let’s say Roy shows up with Jamie and sort of hand him over to Colin and Colin and Jamie start enthusiastically making plans for the evening and maybe it’s Jan Maas who notes that “It’s not actually fair Roy and Colin both get to date Jamie when no one else does.”
As Roy stares at him incredulously and Dani pipes up. “I agree with Jan. It makes me happy to see you together, but it also makes me sad”, Trent’s spidersense is not only tingling but absolutely exploding and he discreetly pulls out his notebook and start jotting things down as fas as he can while the room unravels before his very eyes:
JT says he’s willing to date anyone who wants to date him, if OK with RK, KJ & CH. They are.
Explicitly wants in: Jan Maas, Dani Rojas, Jeff Goodman, Paul Reynolds, Bhargava, Sasha Kukoč.
Suspect might want in but didn’t say: Potentially everybody but Sam, but especially Arlo Dixon and Martin de Maat.
Bumbercatch volunteers to sort out a calender & group chat bc better if it’s someone who doesn’t want to date Jamie, make sure it’s fair.
CH pleased MB doesn’t want to date JT?
McAdoo claims first date even though he doesn’t actually want to date Jamie, bc his right & duty as captain to make sure it’s ok for everyone else. JT: “What? The fuck do you mean, why wouldn’t it be ok?” IM: “I’m the captain, and I say this is happening.” JT: “Fine, but you’re taking me somewhere fancy and you’re paying.” IM: “Just to be clear, we’re not having sex.” JT: “This is the worst date I’ve ever been on and we haven’t even been yet.”
JT questions why Sam doesn’t want in on the schedule and seems offended on principal when SO explains that JT is his best friend and not some one he wants to date. JT pouts until SO offers to take him out on friend dates.
Cockburn also wants to go on friend dates with JT.
Brief but heated discussion if friend dates & boyfriend dates should be different schedueles and if it’s OK to sign up for both. CH’s attempts to question how friend dates is different from just being friend and hanging out from time to time is shut down.
Tom O’Brien wants to know if he can sign up for a date with Jamie, Keeley and Roy. RK stares at him for 1 good minute before saying “No.”
Discussion about the etiquette of not wearing Jamie out if he’s scheduled to have another date soon after your date with him.
JG: But we don’t have to check in with everyone else if we want to sleep with him, right? RK: You better fucking check in with him. B: I don’t think I want to know what anyone else is doing. JM: Yeah, that’d be weird. JT: I don’t think anyone else should get to decide if I have sex with someone or not. RK: *clears his throat meaningfully* JT: I mean, as long as Roy and Keeley and Colin don’t mind.
That’s just the first page of Trent’s notes, btw, they go on for like four more, practice is delayed by at least an hour. Keeley follows the whole thing on video call (obvs they had to run it by her before handing Jamie out to everyone who wants a piece). Rebecca stops by, blinks once and then nopes the hell out of this madness. Nate wonder if he ought to sign up for a date with Jamie, if everyone else is doing it, but he doesn’t think Jade would approve.
Colin can’t quite let go of the notion that maybe this means he could date Bumbercatch, Roy questions his sanity every other second, and Jamie is living his best life (and is delighting in the fact that the next time he sees Roy and Keeley, they are going to make very sure Jamie knows where he ultimately belongs).
#i would love to read this chapter#but realistically speaking i’m not going to be the one to write it#as i’m a terribly slow writer and it would take me forever#and if I keep getting distracted i’ll never finish the little fic i’m actually working on#ahahahah who am i kidding i will absolutely keep getting distracted#but i do what i can#anyone else want to play with this idea you go right ahead#asks#crack crack crackity-cracking#jamie tartt#a team of himbos#jamie/everyone#jamie/colin#roy/keeley/jamie
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"Hey! If you're gonna pick on Break, make sure you're doing it right."
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@prettyboywarrior
Xaos vc: unfortunately
"Do you want to go back to the dungeon?!"
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"Sir, I think he's bleeding out"
Gamble’s down. Repeat, Gamble’s down.
The message carried into various earpieces, rough with static. It sent Jim moving, out from where he sheltered behind a tree, across the danger zone. Rust colored leaves crunched beneath heavy boots. He stayed low. Cautious, until he saw his partner.
T.J. had gotten there first. His hand covered Brian’s chest, red seeping between splayed fingers. When Jim crouched beside the pair, T.J. looked to him with sorrow-laden eyes. “Sir, I think he’s bleeding out.”
“He was a good soldier.” Hand to forehead, Jim saluted.
With a grunt, Brian shoved T.J. away. “You’re both assholes.” Slapping his own palm into the red paint smeared across his clothes, Brian wiped it over T.J.’s cheek.
“Hey, hey, hey.” T.J. retreated quickly to a safe distance. “Dead men can’t fight back. That’s the rule of paintball.”
Another annoyed huff and Brian was on his feet, tiny twigs and other forest debris drifting loose from various limbs. “You want to know the other rule of paintball?” His head nodded northwards. “Don’t come gloating before you’ve won.”
The other two men turned just in time to see Tabby scale her team’s tower and wave the captured flag in triumph.
“Damn it.” While Jim never enjoyed losing, he could take it with a certain amount of grace. “I thought she was already out.”
“She played dead. Where do you think I got the idea to smoke you guys out?” Brian propped his paintball gun over one shoulder. “And next time, double tap, T.J., instead of coming to feel me up.”
T.J.’s noises of protest was the last thing the rest of the team heard before the connection cut off, replaced by the laughter of the victors ringing through the site.
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So ... which books do you think our heroes borrowed but never returned to the Library?
Betty:
-The Nancy Drew Secret Code (from when she was trying to decipher the Black Hood’s letter). It’s the book she obsessively checked out as a kid, because, one supposes, her well-off journalist parents couldn’t buy her one … After all, as per set dec department, Betty owes … ten books in total?
-Beloved
Jughead
-Everything by the Beat Generation + Bukowski.
-After Veronica’s quinceañera: a bunch of Harlequin romance novels and The Scouting Guide To Basic Knots
Veronica
-The Economis of Business Enterprise (she never got around to reading it)
Archie
-Picture These SAT Words
-Picture These SAT Words
-Picture These SAT Words
(three times, because he kept loosing the book – he also never got around to reading it)
Cheryl
-All of RHS’s Year Books from the year Jason died, in order to cut out Polly Cooper from the photos. They were all destroyed when Thornhill was burned down.
Bonus: Reggie
-The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (to learn how to spell ‘necrophilia’)
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Watching the servants set up for the wedding with a thousand-yard stare.
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adaline : walks into mi6
the whole of mi6 : oh no there’s two of them
#rip the organisation for having two bonds around#is it crack? idk seems exactly what happened#crick crack crackity crack ( crack )
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I have this meme in my inbox: I see you’ve been busy.
and I haven’t come up with anything to write yet but for some reason these poped up in my head...
#all things squishy#nono Ly won't walk on anything so drastic... I hope?#funny tho xD xD xD#keep your local intp in check. they might get carried away))))#crackity crack))#the final fun-tier. hc
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My bones creak
So I can't sneak
#Why is it double spaced#I am aware that it's probably my joints#its really just my toes#how can I be a ninja assassin when you can hear me from a mile away#like imagine being a guard and you just hear#crack#Crack#Crackity#CRACK#!!!!!!
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Its pretty bad when your pet detective has more game than you do
"Little boys need game, men have class."
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#kolya vc: it can't be treason. /i'm/ the prince ( @korolnichevoya )
“ yeah well i’m a saint, so it’s divine treason. ”
#korolnichevoya#dfjkshgf she's being pouty#she's right tho. sasha made her a saint after she died. sankta ludmilla : saint of sacrifice & war victims#crick crack crickety crackity ( crack )
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You know you’re in danger when your cracked out, never-been-onscreen-together-but-now-both-dead ship gets its own song!
Shadows of the Night, by Pat Benetar. Upside Down Eddie/Barb. Come on!
We're running with the shadows of the night
So baby, take my hand, you'll be alright
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end
You said, "Oh, girl, it's a cold world when you keep it all to yourself"
I said, "You can't hide on the inside, all the pain you've ever felt"
Ransom my heart, but baby, don't look back 'cause we got nobody else.
LONG LIVE BADDIE!!!
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"I think what they need is some edibles or something. I know a guy! or two. dudes who gets high together sticks together."
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"I lived, bitch."
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how did wallter get the crackity crack on his hea d
i need 2 know
Wallter's a pretty tall guy, sitting at a whopping 10 ft! I like to think that thanks to his height he has a hard time getting around sometimes, the world just isn't built for giants. He's bumped his head a lot over the years and that damage takes a toll...
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What was the point of Jughead losing his manuscript in s5 if “Transubstantiation” isn’t the plot for s6b?
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