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wafflesetc · 2 years

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one day at a time (9x20 missing moment)

A/N: So, this was just an idea I had because of a lot of different theories I saw roaming around on the corners of the web. I meant to finish this before 9x21 aired, but that obviously didn't happen. Needless to say, I was still really excited about this so I wanted to post it anyways.

So preemptively let's call this a 9x20 missing moment. (If you care enough where title inspo comes from it came from Dan + Shay's song, From the Ground Up.)

I also am dying to have an episode centric more on Hailey’s family and background. Give me som Mama Upton content. Let’s meet her brothers. So there’s a small part that I wove into this story because of my own little wishlist I have. Anyways, nobody reads these author’s notes so I hope you enjoy. XX

AO3

She’d been off recently.

Stress, diet, a non-existent yet consistent work routine causing little to no sleep, exercising too much when she wasn’t getting enough sleep- all things that could be contributing to her feeling of being off.

Off wasn’t really the right word, though.

Irregular.

The weight of the word hit her like a gut punch to the stomach.

She realized it the minute she started watching the interview video of the three year old. It was five days past when she was supposed to start. She’d spotted the month before, but five days late… That was something to be concerned about.

It was one of the things that happened because of the job- an irregular cycle. Especially with Intelligence. Every day was non-routine, the unpredictability had become one of the constants in her life, and an odd sense of safety she loved and adored. She was good at the job, she had a good team… And somewhere in the middle of all of this she had found herself a life outside of the job.

It wasn’t something she had ever pictured for herself. A husband, a personal life. Sure, they had been aspirations, maybe even things she considered dreams, but dreams never really ever came true for Hailey Upton.

That was until she met Jay Halstead.

And somehow her dreams had become her reality, and reality had become much more than her wildest dreams.

Yet she found herself standing in the drugstore aisle staring at the tests. Was this a part of her plan- their plan? Maybe in the distant future, but not like this. This wasn’t the time.

Time though? It’s a funny thing, one she thought she understood, but now, hell if she does. But five days late after a month with just some light spotting.. She hadn't been that careless, had she? But she had. The river incident had shifted something inside of her that day, really rattled her core. They’d celebrated her that night- ten years somehow gone in the blink of an eye.

It was just a day here, a day there, and they were smart- or tried to be at least. But nothing is foolproof, nothing is guaranteed. They know that every moment they walk through a door with their kevlar vests strapped to their chests. No tomorrows are promised, not in their line of work.

She reaches on the shelf grabbing the box that reads Early Response on the front. She fiddles with the boxes in her hand, the plastic wrap making crackling sounds in her ears. Here she is in the middle of a Walgreens in the middle of her workday buying pregnancy tests because she’s scared of how her husband might react to this kind of news. And she had to lie to her partner because she couldn’t tell him she didn’t feel well or was going to go pick something up at the pharmacy because he’d offer to drive her or go get it for her because that’s just the kind of guy he was- that’s the kind of guy she married.

“Why didn’t you say something to me, Hailey?” A familiar voice comes from behind her.

It startles her for a moment but then he reaches for the boxes in her hands and in her eye line. There’s no running from this now.

“I didn’t….” She stops herself and takes a breath, “I didn’t really think about it until an hour ago, after Kim showed us the interview with the kid. Things had been so crazy recently, all the possible signs didn’t really seem like signs and I realized watching the video I was a few days late… And here I am.”

“I had Platt ping your car, you just left without telling me where you were going and then didn’t answer whenI called you.”

She shakes her head because, yes that was her next question- how did he find her, not that it would have been that hard, she most likely would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed.

“It may not even be positive, Jay.” She shrugs her shoulders and tilts her head. Because who knows, it could just be the stress of the job, too. (Or it could be positive.)

“This isn’t the kind of thing I want you to go through alone,” He reaches for her hand and twists her wedding band between his fingers, “IF it is positive it did take the two of us, to uh” He shrugs his shoulder and runs his fingers through his hair making her smile just a little. He’s really just a big goofball sometimes and this is one of those moments, because she was a willing participant in the activities that could have put them into this situation. “And I know that it would ultimately affect your career much more than mine, but if you want to be alone for this, I can understand.”

Jay offers her the test back with two twenty dollar bills. She ignores him, grabbing his hand and interlacing their fingers, while having a near death grip on his hold.

“Come on.” She says, leading them to the checkout counter.

The cashier is an older lady who is perky, and smiling at them wordlessly. It’s obvious she knows what they are buying, that they are married, and that she just wants to say something.

“That’ll be $21.97, cash or card?” Mary, the cashier says. Jay nods, pulls out his card, and inserts it into the machine.

“Damn these tests are expensive.”

“Just wait until the kid gets here, bud- they’re even more expensive. The diapers, wipes, and then they start walking and talking and eating… Will this be your first?” Mary looks at Hailey and then at Jay with a smile from ear to ear on her face and hands Hailey the plastic bag.

In a state of shell shock, Jay doesn’t answer and defaults to blankly staring at Hailey. She doesn’t quite know how to answer the worker either, but she smiles and softly says, “This wasn’t quite our plan, yet, but those are how these things tend to go, huh?”

“They never do, sweetie… Good luck to you two.”

The receipt prints from the machine and Mary hands it to Hailey, while Jay stashes his card back into his wallet. As Hailey shoves the receipt in her pocket.

They drive back to the district and she parks her car. She’s not carrying these boxes inside because there are only two women in the unit and she doesn’t want any of them to make any assumptions. She grabs two of the tests, shoving them in her pocket, seeing her husband waiting by the door.

She gets out of her jeep, locks the door, and smiles at him while she walks up. “I am going to take one now, but I wasn’t about to carry the box upstairs with me.”

“It’d either be you or Kim.” He finishes for her, because naturally they are on the same wavelength.

“Exactly, and after all they’ve been through recently… I just figured we could keep this to ourselves for a bit, either way.”

“Are we doing this right now?” He asks with a raise of his brow.

She purses her lips and opens the door, giving him the silent answer.

“The two love birds are back,” Platt says from her desk. “I see you found her Jay, what was she doing, staring at the candy aisle?”

“Something like that.” Jay answers, because somehow Trudy Platt is all knowing and probably has already deduced what might be happening between them.

The walk up the stairs in palpable tension, she can feel it radiating from him and she knows he can feel it coming off of her. So many questions, so many unknowns. Sure, they want this- sometime in the future. What happens if the future is now?

The locker room is empty, thankfully, so Jay closes the door and asks her the question she’s dreading, “Do you want to be alone for this?”

She hears the sound of the lock latching behind her and lets out a breath. “No, I don’t want to be alone.”

“I’ll let you be alone for the retrieval part, you don’t need me for that.” Jay half laughs as he sits on one of the benches watching her walk to the stalls.

“I think you’ve done enough work over there, partner. I can take it from here.” She waves him off walking into a stall.

Of all the things she has done in her life- of all the things they have been through together, this is the scariest one of them yet, she thinks.

It’s a quick process, taking the stick and placing it in fluid.

“So, we just wait, then?” Jay asks- half as a joke, half just to keep her at ease. His hand makes its way to the small of her back, rubbing circles as she leans against the counter.

“Three minutes. Three whole minutes and our life could change.” She says it out-loud, more to the universe than to either one of them because they both know how much this could- would- will change things. “What do we do if it’s positive, Jay?”

“Hailey,” He breathes, “I don’t know. We don’t have to know right now either, I mean, we have some time to decide–”

He stops as the words start to appear on the screen, PREGNANT.

“I think it was one too many bottles of red wine.” She almost huffs, but a small smile escapes her lips as she reads the words.

“Are we happy about this?” Jay asks as she turns to face him. “I told you in the store, I’d love to have a discussion about this but it is ultimately your decision and if it happened once it can surely happen again –” He’s rambling and she finds it endearing because he is cute. He’s excited, she can tell, and he’s trying to remain rational, calm, and collected until she gives him an indication on how she feels about this scenario.

Truthfully, she admits to herself, she’s petrified. This is the last thing that she thought would happen to her- to them- right now, but somehow the universe had other plans. And while she finds herself scared, in a territory of extreme unknowns, there is a small piece of her that knows she’s not alone in this, she has Jay.

“I wouldn’t say happy,” She admits, because honesty is power, especially in moments like this. “I’m terrified, Jay. I didn’t have the best childhood– I never— this– wasn’t–... Until you, I never really thought about even the possibility.”

“Okay…” He’s calm, trying so hard to keep it cool. “And?”

“And, although I’m scared, I know it’ll be okay because I have you.” She nearly whispers because it’s true, she doesn’t know how to do this- how to be a cop and how to be a mom. Kim has been figuring it out, almost losing Makayla and Adam in the process and she can’t even fathom going through that. But yet, there’s this new piece of Hailey— one half of her and half of him inside her— and she now can’t picture a world where this little being doesn’t exist.

That’s the truth, and for right now,that’s what she will hold on to.

She smiles at him, with small tears in her eyes, “I can’t believe we did this.”

“Too much merlot.” Jay laughs, wiping a tear off of her face. “We can’t hide here much longer, or the brass will come knocking down the door. We can talk about this tonight?”

“Tonight.” She agrees. And she knows she shouldn’t do this, they have rules. Rules that are meant for the workplace, but this is a moment, one she wants to remember, so she cups her husband's face and kisses him. It’s soft and sweet, but they’re in a locked room so to hell with their rules for just a few minutes.

“Let’s go,” Jay says, ushering her towards the door.

“You go first, so we don’t look suspicious. There’s a phone call I gotta make first, OK?” Hailey says, stashing the test in her pocket and reaching for her phone. He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead, leaving the locker room and once she knows she’s alone she reaches for her phone, scrolling for a number she seldom calls.

The phone rings, the dial tones making her more anxious than waiting for the positive to appear on the screen, when a familiar voice answers on the other end.

“Hailey, sweetie…”

That’s when the dam breaks and the tears fall down her cheeks.

“Hey, mom. I’ve got some news…”

#Upstead #Jay Halstead #Hailey Upton #Chicago PD #Upstead Fanfiction #Upstead Fanfic #Chicago PD Fanfiction #Chicago PD fanfic #One Chicago #CPD 9x20 #CPD Missing Moments

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