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lifeinahole27 · 6 years

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TATBILB ff: “All the Times...”

Title: All the Times Peter Kavinsky Wanted to Kiss Lara Jean Song Covey

Rating: T for language

Words: 2.4k

Summary: There’s no reason he should want to kiss Covey again. They’re just doing this so he can get Gen to break up with that asshole college guy and he can have his girlfriend back. He mentally adds that to his own contract: No wanting to kiss Lara Jean and being disappointed that he can’t.

A/N: Well... This is new! A) New fandom, B) First number fic, C) the T rating is true... First Covinsky fic. Dunno if I’ll write any more but this was a fun aside from my regularly scheduled writing! I will say going from Killian The Purpleiest Prose Ever Jones to Peter Kavinsky is jarring and weird.

1. During the writing of the contract

It’s the strangest thing, but after Peter tells Lara Jean that he’ll write her notes, he wants to kiss her. He’s kissed her already, twice now. Three times if you count seventh grade. But he wants to kiss her now, as she’s softly asking him if he’d really write her notes every day. There’s something about her voice, and the way she’s looking at him, and he has a split second moment where he wants to lean across the picnic table they’re sitting at and kiss her smile.

He immediately goes and ruins it by telling her that Gen always wanted him to write her notes and it would drive her nuts if he did it for Lara Jean, especially if she doesn’t ask him.

That’s okay. There’s no reason he should want to kiss Covey again. They’re just doing this so he can get Gen to break up with that asshole college guy and he can have his girlfriend back. He mentally adds that to his own contract: No wanting to kiss Lara Jean and being disappointed that he can’t.

2. At the Diner

After Gen corners him in the bathroom at Greg’s party, he snaps; all he wants to do is leave, and as soon as he can, and with Lara Jean in his car. That’s all he wants.

So he finds her jacket among the pile and goes to find her, almost hesitant to break up her conversation with Lucas but ecstatic when her friend shoos her on her way and she shows no other remorse that he’s taken her away from the party early.

At the diner, she sits next to him, which is a dumb thing to be excited about because they’re not dating, but there are three whole seats to choose from and she sits directly next to him. While they talk, he forgets the ruse, forgets they aren’t really a couple, and he’s able to easily ask her questions and answer hers the best he can.

It’s so far gone from his mind that he asks Lara Jean why she’s not afraid to be with him – as if this was real, as if this was a genuine date, as if they were really going through that thing where they spill all their secrets and dig up their pasts.

“I think it’s funny, you say you’re scared of commitment and relationships, but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me.”

“Well, there’s no reason to be.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

If he’s being honest with himself, he wants to hear her say something like “It’s because you’re so easy to talk to” or “You make it easy to forget my fears” and he wonders if he’s been reading her romance novels by accident or something.

“’Cause we’re just pretending,” is what Lara Jean actually ends up saying. The whole façade that Peter had built around the moment collapses and he’s in a diner with his fake girlfriend, having a fake bonding conversation, as they finish out their fake date night after a party.

He remembers stammering out something and then grabbing the check, at least remembering to look at her and thank her for coming to the party.

It’s second nature to post the picture of them, and it’ll help keep up appearances. It’s all about that contract, after all. So, he posts the picture with the cute caption and is utterly surprised when Lara Jean comments on it right after she probably got the tag notification.

The kissing emoji is the closest he’s getting tonight, so that’s what he replies.

3. Dinner with Mom and Owen

It’s somewhere in the middle of dinner with his family that Peter admits to himself that he’s wanted to kiss Lara Jean plenty more times than just the obvious few. It doesn’t help that they stay in the kitchen, talking and cleaning up. She hoists herself onto the counter and tells him he’s a great listener, and he recognizes that she’s the perfect height for him to fit between her knees and tangle his fingers in her hair. This, too, is added to the list of perfect kiss moments.

Like the day he showed up at the diner when he got the letter and then dropped her off, proposing this whole fake-dating thing in the first place due to a momentary lapse in brain activity.

Maybe even in his car the first time he picked up Lara Jean and Kitty, as Kitty bossed him around from the back seat. When he leaned over to tell her he’d made progress, what he really wanted was a “good job” kiss for charming over her sister so quickly. Of course, it helps that he has a car and he’d just told her he’d be giving her rides to school from then on.

He wanted to kiss her when she said he wasn’t allowed to kiss her anymore. He wanted to kiss her when she looked adorably confused about his Fight Club reference. Peter Kavinsky has wanted to kiss Lara Jean Covey so many times that he’s surprised he hasn’t started gravitating towards her lips every time they’re in the same room.

He might as well just start doodling their initials inside hearts on the covers of his folders for how freaking love sick he sounds right now. This fake dating bullshit was the worst idea ever. Officially.

4. After Fighting in the Hallway

After Gen infers they might be back together by the ski trip, he can’t even think straight. There’s this light-headed feeling where he should be elated, because this is what he wanted. Right? This was the whole reason?

And then he sees Lara Jean with Josh Sanderson out in the open as if she’s already moving right along without him, and he feels his heart fracture just a bit.

Because he’s still in this, even if she’s not. He’s all in, even if she doesn’t realize it. Hasn’t realized it. Why can’t she realize it? Hasn’t he made it obvious that this is more than just the game?

And so he practically tells her straight out as they argue in the hallway.

We are still together.

She has to realize what he’s saying, right?

You’re just trying to pull out because you’re scared.

That should do it, right?

“What do I have to be scared about?” she asks him, indignation written on her features and her arms crossed as if to keep him tightly out of her bubble.

“You tell me, Covey.”

This is gonna be the moment. She’s going to use that brilliant mind of hers and she’s going to come up with the answer. Have the last three months meant nothing at all to her? If he could only kiss her, if he could just show her how he feels, how much this isn’t fake to him, but he won’t break the contract, because that’s what this whole fight is about anyway.

“I’ll go if Chris goes,” is her answer.

And what the fuck is he supposed to do with that?

5. The Hot Tub

If there’s one thing Peter knows, it’s that he doesn’t know up from down anymore. He thought he’d ski away most of his feelings but he ended up with achy muscles and more insinuating comments from Gen.

But he doesn’t want Gen.

He’s in the hot tub hoping to boil the emotions right out of his head and then Lara Jean is there, acting as if she didn’t send another fragment of his heart down the drain. So he’s kinda mean to her, but he’s upset. She messed with his plans with the snacks and the seating, so the anger slips out just a little bit to start.

When Lara Jean mentions that he should thank her because he got to sit with who he wanted to, he decides it’s enough.

“For someone who has such good grades, you can be so dense sometimes,” he tells her, resting his arms up on the lip of the hot tub. Wide open, exposed. No more hiding behind a fake relationship.

“What?”

“Yeah. I wanted to sit next to you, Lara Jean. I even packed the snacks. I asked Kitty where to find those yogurt drinks you like so much.” And finding a way to be sneaky about asking Kitty about said drinks was not easy.

When she points out that the Korean grocery store is all the way across town, he lays it out like a simple word problem. If he was willing to do that, why? Why would Peter go through all that effort for a fake girlfriend?

“You are impossible,” he tells her after she (he hopes jokingly) surmises that it must be because he really likes yogurt.

When she kicks off her slippers and puts her feet in the water, he can’t help the way his heart jumps.

“I’m sorry I didn’t sit next to you,” she says, her eyes unwavering from his. She’s staring at him so intently that he can’t hold eye contact, even after he forgives her. He glances around the courtyard, his eyes meeting hers every couple sweeps as they sit there considering each other, and he’s inexplicably nervous all of a sudden.

He has every right to be. She strips off her coat and climbs into the hot tub in her nightgown and he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a heart attack and he’ll probably have wet dreams for the rest of his life about the way she glides through the water explaining she didn’t bring a bathing suit.

“There’s no one like you, Covey,” he admits, and then finally. Finally, Lara Jean is kissing him. Their first real kiss. This isn’t spin the bottle. This isn’t for show for anyone else. This is Peter and Lara Jean, this is about them and their feelings and all he can do is be thankful she didn’t bring a bathing suit because he’s not sure he’d be able to handle that much skin on skin contact right now, not with this being the first time he’s ever gotten to really show her how he’s wanted to kiss her.

It’s thoughts along those same lines that winds him back down, eventually ushering her out of the hot tub and back into the lodge.

They don’t go to bed until both of them are dry, and he pulls her back for another kiss before letting her go for the night. As he walks away from #209, he smiles again, because this is right. This is finally right.

And now the only thing left to do is make sure that Gen understands exactly what page they’re on. Because he doesn’t want anything getting in the way of what he has with Lara Jean.

6. The Hot Tub Aftermath

He doesn’t really understand how he can hurt so much from losing something he had for less than a day. One moment, he’s basking in the memory of Lara Jean’s sweet smile in the hot tub, and the next, he’s trying – brokenly, because he just can’t get the words out there – to explain that she was never second best.

The whole thing is a mess.

And then the video shows up on Instagram. There it is: his perfect moment with Lara Jean, where everything finally fell into place, and contracts didn’t matter, and they were finally in complete harmony with each other. There it is for everyone to see, and no one to understand like he and Lara Jean understood.

The messages start pouring in, but he hedges away from all of them, laughs off a great deal of them, but doesn’t do anything to outright fix it. But what can he do? He doesn’t know who took the video. (But he does.)

Christmas is fake smiles and acting his part for the parties he goes to. He keeps his distance from Gen, because her fingerprints are on every single thing that’s gone wrong, from Lara Jean’s outburst after they got off the bus and beyond, even if he keeps trying to convince himself it can’t be true.

Then comes the picture that Chris shoves into his chest after Lara Jean storms down the hallway crying, and he has to do something about this. There’s no more passive denial.

“Hey everyone, listen up! Not that it’s anyone’s business, but nothing happened in the hot tub. If I hear anybody talking about Lara Jean or that video, I’m gonna kick your asses.”

It’s a tall claim, but he’d do it if he had to, if it would show Lara Jean that he meant it, all of it…

He goes after her, trying to make sure she’s okay but instead seeing something more than pain. She’s hurt, all right, but there’s sharp anger in her eyes, and she confirms what he hasn’t wanted to believe – that they both know who’s behind the video, and now the picture. When she says she’ll fight this one on her own, Peter wants to kiss her. There’s new determination that replaces the fear she once claimed she had of Gen, and while his heart still aches, he’s proud. So, he watches her go, rubbing his hand over his heart and hoping for all the best.

Ten minutes later, Gen bursts out of the bathroom down the hallway. She gives him a seething look and stomps off in the opposite direction. He just barely manages to fight down the smile of knowing that Lara Jean must’ve accomplished her goal. He waits for another minute, hoping to catch her, but he’ll be late to his next class if he doesn’t get a move on. She probably won’t want to talk to him anyway.

7. After the Credits

“Covey, what is this?”

“It’s my car.”

She says it like he doesn’t know, and he’s almost worried about the state of his heart when it tightens painfully in his chest. She’s too cute, too Lara Jean, and he loves her so much already.

“I can see that,” he says when she doesn’t say anything else. “But did you notice that it’s… well, forget it.”

“What, was I supposed to perfectly park between the lines before coming to profess my feelings for you?”

“Profess them, huh? You been reading your books again, Lara Jean?”

“No,” she says, leaning against her perfectly imperfect parking job. “I figured our story makes for better reading than any of the books I boxed up and gave away.”

Turns out it doesn’t matter how a car is parked, since kissing her as she leans against the cool metal feels just the same as if it were in the lines. Maybe she just parked like they’ve dated: a little off center, but still getting where it should be.

#tatbilb #covinsky #covinsky ff #covinsky fanfic #sarah writes ff #peter kavinsky pov #peter kavinsky #lara jean covey

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

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The #Kavinsquad on Instagram (click on pictures for hq)

#to all the boys I've loved before #tatbilbedit #covinsky #covinskyedit #covinsky ff #*#ff: do it for the views

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

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is this clickbait? (1)

also on ao3 + read the first instalment

SURPRISING MY GIRLFRIEND’S SISTER WITH A SHIBA PUPPY!!

Peter Kavinsky • 3.5M views • 4 days ago

“Hello Catherine,” he greets her the moment she opens the front door, putting the camera in her face to distract her from what is happening in his minivan behind her.

Thankfully for him, Kitty eats this shit up as the resident extrovert of the Song-Covey household. “Well hello there, Vogue.”

“Are you ready to answer 72 questions?”

“Sure, let’s go!”

Lara Jean was the one to submit the idea, to have an excuse for Kitty to parade in front of the camera without her suspicions being raised. Peter can’t believe it’s working so well – she accepted the idea immediately and even pitched him questions he could ask her, to the point where he actually kinda feel bad about tricking her into believing all of this shit is real.

Kinda. Not really though.

“Where are we exactly?”

“This is the house where Lara Jean and I live and work. Pretty, right?”

“Amazing,” he agrees, playing along. “So, what’s your favourite thing about video editing?”

“Having a special folder for bloopers,” she replies with an easy grin. She’s apparently been compiling bloopers about him too, and he’s not exactly looking forward to what she’ll do with the footage. “But mostly the storytelling process. How editing and music can change an entire video.”

“Any interesting projects beside LJ’s cooking videos we should know about?”

“Maaaaybe,” she teases. She sent an application for a film school last week, but the information isn’t public yet, not until she gets an acceptance letter. “I’m working with Chris on her gaming videos, too.”

“Woah, that sounds fun!”

By now they’ve made it to the kitchen, Lara Jean in the right corner of his camera, sitting at the island with her laptop. He winks at her and she grins back. He wonders how long it will take before people comment on that – probably five minutes.

“Are you ready for a little dare?” he asks, focusing back on Kitty.

Bless her little kitten heart, she doesn’t notice anything wrong yet, simply offering him and smile and a shrugs as she exclaims, “Sure!”

With the hand not holding the camera, he grabs the small scarf tucked into the back pocket of his jeans and shows it to her. “I need you to lie down on the floor and put that on your eyes.”

She freezes.

Her face falls.

“What’s this? David fucking Dobrik?”

Peter can’t help but laugh out loud, especially with how Lara Jean is laughing too now. So much for keeping this video PG, thank you very much Little Covey.

“What is it? Is it a spider? Is it a snake? Is it a spider?! Cause we found out I’m allergic to spider bites when we were in Korea so–”

“It’s not a spider,” he replies, trying but mostly failing to be serious. She cracks him up so much. “Just cover your eyes, okay?”

“I hate you,” she states coolly, even as she snatches the scarf from him and wraps it around her head. Immediately, Lara Jean dashes outside to help Gabe. “I hate you so fucking much.”

Still, she sits down on the floor of the dining room, arm stubbornly crossed over her chest, and pouts in his general direction, before she lies down. She doesn’t move, only startles a little when the front door slams – well done, guys – but otherwise doesn’t even reach for the piece of fabric above her eyes.

Gabe shows up with the puppy, the cutest little furball he’s ever seen in his life, all roasted marshmallow levels of adorable. Gabe moves closer to Kitty, whose head moves at the sound. Thankfully, the puppy doesn’t whine.

“Okay, we’re gonna put it on you so don’t be scared.”

Which is exactly the opposite of what she does, wiggling a little as she gets herself worked up again. “I don’t care that you’re dating my sister, if it’s a snake I’m going to – oh my GOD, PETER, WHAT IS IT?” She breaks into a scream when Gabe drops the puppy on her chest.

The puppy starts sniffing around, wet nose against her neck, and she yelps again. Even Lara Jean is losing it now, leaning against Peter for support. He doesn’t even think twice about it when he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer to him.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

She all but ripes the scarf from her face, only to freezes at the sight of the puppy’s face so close to her face. It sniffs her a little, then licks her chin, but she’s too shocked to properly react.

“It’s a puppy,” she says, slowly.

“She’s about to cry,” Lara Jean whispers, low but now low enough that the camera won’t catch it. “Just watch.”

Kitty is sitting up, puppy now in her arms, and she looks up at Peter with wet eyes. If she starts crying he might do too, and it’s only going to end up messy and overly emotional.

“Merry Christmas, Little Covey.”

“You got me a puppy?!”

And then, yeah. She’s crying. Big tears and loud sobs, hugging the puppy to her as it licks her face and whines happily at being cuddles. Its little tail won’t stop wiggling, which is the cutest.

Lara Jean laughs, and it comes out wet too. When he looks down at her, she has tears in her eyes. He kisses her temple without really thinking about it, holding her a little bit closer.

“Do you like her?” he asks Kitty.

“It’s a girl?” she asks back, holding the puppy up to check. “This is so much better than a spider!”

CovinskyIsLove 5 hours ago

like if you’re crying

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HearMeRoar 3 days ago

when lj started crying too and peter comforted her i felt that

View 8 replies v

groffsauce 2 days ago

My sister’s boyfriend is a dirtbag who doesn’t even pay for their dates and this motherfucker gave Kitty a puppy? What the shit???

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…

QUEER IS THE WORD

Lucas Krapf • 1.8M views • 5 days ago

“So people have been blowing my mentions since last video because of point three seconds of Peter and LJ in the background,” Lucas announces to his camera, one hand holding it while the other rises to rub against his hair. “And people keep asking if they really are that cute all the time. So, here. Look what we have to deal with on a daily basis.”

He’s walking toward the kitchen now, where most of the gang is gathered. Unsurprisingly, Peter and Lara Jean are side by side, bodies glued to each other. It’s nothing unlike what has been going on during the past few months, but Lucas still noticed the slight differences since New Year’s Eve – they’re more comfortable around each other, especially LJ. It’s almost unnoticeable, especially when you don’t know they were faking it before that. But Lucas knows. And he notices.

“Look at that,” he exclaims, camera zooming in on Peter’s hand in the back pocket of LJ’s jeans, like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do. Which, it isn’t. They’re the only two idiots in this world to be that lovely cosy with each other all. the. freaking. time. “What kind of heterosexual nonsense?”

LJ and Peter both turn at the same time, and his camera zooms out and moves up to capture their twin expressions of surprise. Peter’s hand still hasn’t moved, because they’re disgusting like that.

“Who are you calling heterosexual?” Peter asks.

Chris lets out the uglier, loudest cackle in the history of humanity, because that’s just how Chris rolls on a daily basis. Homegirl has no sense of modesty or etiquette, she’s wired like that. And he loves her for it. “Peter Pan!” she exclaims, holding her hand up for Peter to high five.

“Peter Pan!” he replies in the same loud, cheerful voice, hand slapping hers above the kitchen island. He turns back to Lucas then, more serious. “But don’t film my girlfriend’s butt, thanks.”

“Why?” LJ asks, falsely innocent. “It looks great on camera.”

Lucas cuts on Peter’s dumbfounded face and another cackle from Chris.

…

Calling Chris’s bedroom a “bedroom” really is about semantics. Like, yes there is a single bed in a corner, so technically it qualifies. But Chris’s room is her video games room, first and foremost. Her TV setting takes over most of the space, what with how many consoles she owes. Two full walls are floor-to-ceiling shelves of video games in their boxes, Funko Pops and other geeky paraphernalia. There’s her computer and her gaming chair in a corner. More cameras and recording material than Lucas knows what to do with it. So, really. Not a bedroom.

And the best thing is, she always has snacks for when she’s playing and for when people are playing with her. She’s taken to stocking Pocky boxes for LJ, next to her own gummy bears. Freaking adorable, how close those two girls are now. Like sisters. White and Asian sisters.

They’re playing Mario Kart, and Lucas is just filming, ‘cause he’s bored and he needs content. LJ getting competitive over nothing is always fun, not to mention clickbaity. So yeah, Mario Kart, camera, Japanese snacks. The best of the best.

Chris is getting worked up over the Rainbow Road, like you do, when her phone starts lighting up like a Christmas tree. Which is weird – she’s usually so very good at not having her phone around when she’s playing, because it keeps her focused not to have to worry about her notifications. The only times she purposefully has her phone around is when she’s doing a special Twitch live and she needs to check her donations.

So Lucas’s attention zooms in on her phone, obviously. “Who’s Veronica?” he asks.

It’s an innocent enough question, but Chris tenses and LJ is distracted enough that her Yoshi falls down the Rainbow Road. “Wait, Veronica Veronica? RomanticRonny Veronica?”

Chris does a very bad job of pretending to be chill, her eyes never leaving the TV screen but her shoulders tense as shit, her knuckles white around her controller. “Yeah, we’re texting,” she replies, fake casual. Damn.

“Didn’t she make a come-out video like, three months ago?” Lucas asks, just to watch her squirm. He can always edit this part out if Chris asks him to, that’s chill. She’s just as open with her sexuality as Peter and Lucas are, but it doesn’t mean he will post about her crush if she doesn’t want him to. Privacy and all that, they’re pretty good at this stuff with each other.

“Did she now?” Chris replies-asks, with a shrug. Bad Acting 101. “Not that it matters or shit.”

“She’s texting again,” Lucas points out, when her phone lights up again.

“How about you shut up, Krapf?”

He only laughs.

SapphoBitch 2 hours ago

is2g if any of you comes with a ‘queer is a slur’ because of the title i’m going to cut a bitch bc Peter identified as pan AND queer in his coming out video and Lucas and Chris are both chill with it too so stfu u ignorant terf-sounding assholes

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Song Bakery ✓ 4 days ago

7 billion people in the world to choose from and he picked me. Of course I am okay with that aspect of Peter’s identity, why wouldn’t I be?

View 73 replies v

PizzaSlut 3 days ago

we stan one (1) progressive, unproblematic squad

View 9 replies v

…

Who knows me better? challenge (boyfriend vs sister)

Song Not-Bakery • 3.7M views • 2 days ago

“Hi everyone and welcome to my second channel!” Lara Jean greets the camera with a little wave. “It was a long time coming, and it’s all because those two right there bullied me into doing it.”

“Kindly,” Peter clarifies. “We bullied her kindly.”

“Cause that makes it so much better,” she tells him, forcing herself not to grin when he wrinkles his nose at her adorably. This man will be her undoing. “Anyway, it’s all Kitty and Peter’s fault and they’re both extra competitive, so what better way that to start this channel than with a competition about me?”

“Which I’m going to win, because I’ve known her the longest,” Kitty chimes in.

“We’ll see about that,” Peter replies, hand already hovering above one of the two call bells Lara Jean bought for the occasion. Peter was playing with it for ten minutes before they even started filming, and she made a mental note to hide them well once they’re done, for her own sake.

“Each question gives you one point,” Lara Jean explains, all business, ignoring how Kitty and Peter are flexing and silently talking shit at each other from across the table. Most competitive people she knows, indeed. “And the winner gets one favour from the loser, as long as it’s decent.”

“Peter buying me Taco Bell every day for a moooonth,” Kitty singsongs.

“And healthy.”

“Peter buying me by Chloe every day for a moooooonth,” Kitty amands.

“Better,” Lara Jean replies, while Peter tries his hardest not to burst into laughter, all tight-lips and puffed cheeks. “Okay, get ready! Question one! What’s my Hogwarts house?”

Kitty hits the bell so fast it flies across the table. “Hufflepuff!”

“Point Covey!” Lara Jean agrees. “Which movie did I quote in my high school yearbook?”

Peter and Kitty share a look, before he tentatively rings the bell. “Amélie?”

“Correct! Point Kavinsky,” she replies, smiling at his preening.

“How do you even know that?” Kitty asks him, suspicious.

“Your dad showed me all your embarrassing childhood pictures,” he replies with an easy shrug. They went to visit two months ago for her dad’s birthday, his official meeting with Peter. Which went really well for the two of them, not so well for Lara Jean when he dad got all the family albums out. She had to steal Peter’s phone from him so he wouldn’t do anything stupid, like share with the world. “You look cute with pigtails, by the way.”

Kitty pokes her tongue out at him.

“What’s my birthday?”

They both attack the bell, but Kitty is faster. “May 15th.”

“Point Covey. What’s my favourite colour?”

Peter is faster. “Blue.” Then, turning to the camera, “And she looks super pretty in blue.”

Lara Jean barely manages to hide her blush behind a laugh as she moves on the the next question. As expected, Kitty and Peter get more and more worked up with each question, yelling their answers and sending the bell flying more than once. She can’t help but laugh when Kitty throws herself above the table to try and steal Peter’s bell, to prevent him from winning. He holds it above his head, too high for her to reach even when she jumps.

They go on like that for half an hour, Lucas keeping track of points behind the camera and holding his laughter back all through filming. Not all heroes wear capes, after all. She’s almost done with her questions when he shows her the mini whiteboard, announcing 12 points each.

“Okay, it’s a tie, so last question to win the game.”

Kitty points to her eyes with two fingers, then to Peter, then to her eyes again. Both their hands hover over the bell, ready to pounce on it. The tension is thick in the room.

“Who’s my dream guy?”

Peter yells the answer before he even hits the bell, “Gilbert Blythe!” Then, ignoring Kitty’s look of pure disbelief and horror, he turns toward the camera with a smirk that shouldn’t be quite as smug as it is, given what he is talking about. “Because he’s smart, and handsome, and loyal, which makes him Lara Jean’s dream Hufflepuff boy. Kavinsky out!”

“Kavinsky win!” she agrees, grabbing his wrist to hold it like he just won a boxe match instead of a little Youtube competition.

Kitty makes a big deal of pouting and folding her hands on her chest, the perfect image of a sulking child. It only makes Peter laugh harder, of course, because he can be a real jerk when he puts his mind to it. Not a mean jerk, but he knows how to push Kitty’s buttons, how to make her snap just enough to make it entertaining to everyone involved, even Kitty.

“So that’s it for today, guys. Check out Peter’s channel and Kitty’s Instagram account, links in the description, and don’t forget to like and subscribe for more videos like this one! Bye bye!”

CovinskyIsLove 2 hours ago

Smart, loyal and handsome? Wonders who that describes perfectly hmm hmmmmmm… Not fooling anyone, LJ!

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TeenageNinjaTurtle 9 hours ago

Kitty is so fucking hilarious she needs to be in all the vlogs! More Kitty!

View 6 replies v

MrsKavinsky 2 days ago

The Gods of Youtube have listened and given us LJ’s second channel, we are so blessed!

View 12 replies v

#covinsky #covinsky fanfic #covinsky ff #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

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do it for the views (2)

also on ao3

If Lara Jean really, truly is being honest with herself, she enjoys being part of a squad. Content making has been only Kitty and her for so long, starting when they were barely more than teenagers, that Lara Jean never managed to make long-lasting friendships. She was always envious of those Youtube squads, despite the nasty rumours going around about some of them, especially in moment when she was feeling lonely.

She couldn’t live in the mansion with them all, and not just because Gabe eats her cookie dough raw every time he’s around, but she’s come to really love having a tight group of friends. People who help her and support her, people who believe in what she does to the point of promoting her content to their followers too.

Which, of course, means drama comes slapping her in the face when she least expects it.

Peter drags her along to a party, because he claims nobody will believe they’re actually dating if they never show themselves together outside of the vlog house. As far as arguments go, it’s a fairly weak one but Lara Jean is feeling adventurous, and Chris and Lucas promised they would be there too. If anything else, she can beg them to bring her home while Peter is busy partying somewhere else.

He shows up at her house with his flashy car, not the family van he usually drives, so Lara Jean’s suspicions switch on immediately. She waits until they’re on the main before she asks, “She’ll be there tonight, right?”

She doesn’t have to clarify who she is – they’ve kept her name unsaid for months now, but people keep mentioning her in the comments, comparing her to Lara Jean, commenting on how much more relaxed everyone, and especially Chris, is now that she’s gone. She’s like a ghost following them all around the mansion, her presence known but ignored until tonight.

Peter sighs, loudly. “Yeah, she will.”

Lara Jean looks at the car she’s sitting in, at Peter’s hair combed back, at her own outfit. She should have seen this coming, and yet she can’t stop the knot from forming inside her stomach as realisation dawns on her. “Are you trying to make her jealous?”

“What?! How? What? No!” A pregnant pause. “A little?”

He cringes as he says it, which is way cuter than it ought to be. She wants to be upset at him for so very obviously using her like that, but then again. Their entire relationship is based on using each other to get something out of their couple.

“Not jealous in a ‘fight to get me back’ way,” he clarifies. “More ‘look what you gave up on and how much better off I am without you,’ if that makes sense?”

“Are you?” she asks. “Happier?”

“I mean, I get fresh cookies every day so…” His sentence finishes in a bark of laughter when she punches his shoulder as hard as she can. He rubs it with one hand, the other still on the wheel. “Yeah, I am. I loved her but she was… We weren’t good for each other. It wasn’t healthy.”

“Good on you to admit it.”

“Only admitting it after she cheated on me and blamed me for it, so not sure how good it is but you know…” He sighs. “At least Chris isn’t so cranky all the time anymore.”

Lara Jean knows deflection when she hears it, so she takes the bait and starts talking about Chris’ latest videos and how well received her collab with Gabe was. Their conversation gets a little less tense from there, and they even have fun brainstorming ideas for the vlog by the time Peter parks in front of a mansion even bigger than his.

The party is already in full swing, but Peter stops her in the entrance hall, pulling on her hand for her to turn toward him.

“No baking tonight,” he tells her as he reaches for the crunchie holding her hair up into a ponytail. “I like you better with your hair down anyway.”

“Well if you like me better with my hair down…”

“Damn, Covey! Only a few weeks with us and you’re already so full of snark. Definitely not a good influence on you.”

She pokes her tongue out at him, and Peter chuckles even as he runs his fingers through her hair to tame it and make it pretty. He’s so much closer than she’s used to – close enough for her to admire the gold speckles in his eyes and the light freckles on his nose. She wonders how many people get to be so intimate with him, instead of just looking at him through the lens of a camera.

“There. Perfect.”

She doesn’t wonder why her heart beats faster.

“Peter?” she asks, just when he’s taking her hand again, ready to pull her toward the party. He pauses and raises his eyebrows in a silent question. “No PDA rule tonight.”

He grins, and pulls on her hand.

This isn’t so different from any other party she’s attended with Peter. Gabe has already set a beer pong table and is convincing a pair of girls to play against Chris and him. Lucas is flirting with a white boy on the couch. John Ambrose has half a dozen girls around him, giggling at everything he says.

Lara Jean naturally gravitates toward Chris once Peter has disappeared to get them some drinks. Chris hugs her in greeting, before she starts throwing the ping pong ball and catching it with one hand.

“The Wicked Bitch of the West is here,” she says with a nod to the other side of the room. “Hide your man.”

Lara Jean tries not to be too obvious about it when she walks around the table to sit on a couch’s armrest, which gives her a good view of both the game and Gen. She stands in a corner talking to a brunette, all sparkly dress and perfect hair. Lara Jean can’t help but notice her face looks very different in person, though, a tell that she uses a little too much Facetune on her pictures. But then again, which Instagram mode doesn’t?

Gen must feel her stare, for she turns her head and stares right back at Lara Jean, just in time to see Peter sliding next to her. He bumps Lara Jean’s shoulder with an easy grin before he hands her a red solo cup.

“Missed me?”

“Terribly,” she replies with a grin of her own. He was right earlier; she definitely got more sarcastic from spending time with the squad.

She takes a sip of her beer, only to immediately spit it back in the cup with a grimace of disgust. “That beer is stale!”

“Oh no, that’s mine,” he corrects before switching their cups. “It’s kombucha.”

“Why?!”

“It’s good for digestion. And I’m your ride tonight, remember?”

The admission that he’s not drinking takes her by surprise and, let’s be honest, charms her a little. They’ve all been drinking into torpor at least once a week since she joined the squad, either at the vlog house or a local bar. But they would always Uber to the bar and forth, so nobody had to drink. For him to go dry means more than Lara Jean would have believe at first.

“You could at least get something tasty,” she points out.

“Didn’t we establish I have bad taste?” he jokes back.

She wrinkles her nose at him, just to make him laugh. Peter has a great laugh; she loves to hear it, to see the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. It’s such a good look on him.

“Vlog house’s gonna be busy,” Chris announces as she joins them on the couch. She points to Lucas, still heavily flirting with the white guy from before, his hand high on the guy’s thigh. Then to Gabe, deep in conversation with one of the beer pong girls. Then John Ambrose, still surrounded by a small army of girls. Chris makes a face. “Can I crash at yours, LJ?”

“Guest room is yours,” she replies easily.

“What if I want to crash at your place?” Peter pouts, adding puppy eyes for emphasis.

She knows that in all logic he would be sleeping in her bed. They’ve been dating long enough that everyone believes they’re intimate, which makes sense. She’s been watching his older videos, and he and Gen never were shy about the physical aspect of their relationship.

Still, she runs her tongue before she can think better of it. “You can have the couch.”

Peter and Chris offer her equally baffled looks, albeit for very different reasons. Chris whistles under her breath, as if to react to some massive drama just about to happen. If only she knew that, no, it’s just Lara Jean who messed up without meaning to.

“You still made about yesterday?” Peter asks, innocent enough.

Bless his heart for giving her an out, though, bringing back the prank that turned bad yesterday, when he’d tried to scare John Ambrose. John has slipped and fell down the swimming pool, his head missing the edge by only a few inches. Lara Jean’s shriek had been so deafening it had scared them all even more, and then she’d lectured Peter for five minutes straight. Even Gabe had looked guilty after that.

“Depends,” she replies, before she nods toward one girl across the room. “Find me a slice of that pizza and I’ll reconsider.”

His grin is a little dopey as he shoves his solo cup in her hand to stand up. It’s a good thing only Chris sees that happen, because the guys would never let him live it down.

(He was hugging her from behind last week, one arm against her collarbones, as she was standing at the kitchen island to check her emails on her laptop. Whispering nonsense in her ear just to distract her and to make her laugh. She knew at least one of the guys was filming somewhere, and that they might be caught on camera.

But she didn’t expect Gabe to barge into the kitchen, camera in hand, and to open the fridge to grab something. He held a can next to Peter’s head, already chuckling at his own joke.

“Pete, hey, Pete! What’s the difference between you and that can of cream?” Peter only replied with a deadpan stare. “None, cause y’all so WHIPPED!”

And then Gabe ran for his life. Peter whispered a simple “Be right back,” in Lara Jean’s ear, before dashing after his best friend. Ten seconds were all he needed before Gabe’s scream of horror filled the house.)

She follows him with her eyes as he makes his way to the kitchen in search of a fresh, untouched slice of pizza, and so she doesn’t miss how Gen corners him the moment he’s left alone. He’s got one pizza box opened, paper plate in hand, and he looks like a deer in the highlights when he sees his ex by his side.

“You should do something,” Chris comments.

“Nah, he’s fine.”

She trusts him, and not just because of the contract. From the way he was talking in the car, he needs to confront Gen one more time, to do this for himself.

Lucas plops on the couch next to them just when Gen engages Peter in a tense and awkward conversation, and Lara Jean’s attention is redirected toward her friend. It’s not as if she can hear anything that is said from across the room anyway.

“Abandoned pretty boy so soon?” Chris teases him.

Lucas shrugs, before he grabs the solo cup from Lara Jean’s hand. “Turns out he has a boyfriend. Disappointing.” He takes a sniff of his newly-acquired drink and makes a face. “That smells nasty.”

“It’s kombucha,” Lara Jean says. “Fermented tea.”

“Sounds as nasty as it smells,” Lucas replies, still looking down the cup.

“I’ll give you $500 to drink all of it,” Chris chimes in, getting her camera out of the pocket of her hoodie. It’s exactly why she fits in perfectly with the squad, despite being the only girl before Lara Jean arrived. She has the same sick mentality about it.

And truth is – Lara Jean is starting to develop a bit of that mentality too. “Come on, do it,” she goads him with a sweet smile.

He makes a face and sniffs the drink again. “I really need the money,” he comments.

“Lara Jean!” Her head immediately turns at the sound of her name, if only to find Peter standing in front of her. No pizza but a frazzled look on his features. “Let’s get out of there.”

Lucas is looking at them above the rim of the solo cup, half-hopefully about being saved from the situation. Lara Jean is barely aware of Chris teasing him as she stands up and walks toward Peter.

He wraps a solid arm around her waist, pulling her right against his chest. And then he’s kissing her. Hard and fast, too quick for her to react or even think about enjoying it. It’s over before it even started, and then he’s pulling on her hand and dragging her toward the exit.

She follows without question, all too aware of the way he purposely doesn’t look back. Or doesn’t say anything, the silence between them tense and awkward as he drives away from the house and down the empty streets of LA.

She has no idea where they are going, but soon the streets around them are a little less rich suburbia, a little more hipsterish mess, until he parks next to what appears to be an old dinner.

It’s empty – too late for a coffee date, too early for a post-party refuel – and Peter chooses the booth just next to the vintage jukebox. She slides next to him instead of opposite him, and nods at the old machine with a nudge to his shoulder.

“Seven What’s New, Pussycat and one It’s Not Unusual?” she asks innocently.

Peter snorts a laugh despite his lips pressed into a thin line, some of the tension in his shoulders disappearing at her reference. By the time the waitress shows up at their table to take their order, he’s almost back to his usual self again.

Lara Jean doesn’t mention the insta elephant in the room. If he wants to talk about it he will, but she will not force him into a conversation before he’s ready. Instead she decides on another topic altogether.

“Kitty wants to go to film school.”

It’s something she’s been discussing for a little while now. She jumped straight from high school into this job, but she’s yearning for more now, for something else and different. Lara Jean can’t really blame her – her sister is so talented and has so much potential for greatness – but she can’t help but be a little bit selfish about it.

“I can’t do the videos without her,” she admits. “I have never edited anything in my life.”

“You could be outsourcing.”

She shakes her head, an outright refusal. “I don’t trust anyone to do it beside her.”

“Because you haven’t worked with anyone else,” Peter points out. “Hire an intern and have Kitty teach them everything she knows. The exact way she edits your videos. So you start with the same skills, but a new point of view. Can’t be all that bad.”

She nibbles on her bottom lip. She’s never thought about it that way, but it doesn’t sound too bad. And Kitty would love to have someone to boss around, someone to brag to about her skills. And then Lara Jean would have a whole new person on her payroll, which is terrifying. She’s been pushing back getting an assistant for so long because she’s afraid of having someone who is not Kitty rely on her for a paycheck.

“What about once Kitty is done?”

“You, me, Chris, Lucas, Gabe, John,” Peter counts on his fingers. “That’s six Youtubers in our group who could do with some editing help. We’ll manage.”

She can’t help but grin, even before she spell out the underlying meaning behind his idea. “Am I officially part of the Kazinsquad?” she teases.

Peter’s gaze is too deep, too intense, when their eyes meet. It says things she doesn’t want to hear, to acknowledge. “You’re not getting rid of us so easily, Covey. Fake dating or not, you’re part of the family now. You’re here to stay.”

She looks down at her hands in her lap, so her hair will fall in front of her face and hide her blush. She didn’t expect him to be so candid about it, or herself to get so emotional over it. He talks about family like they’ve been friends forever, instead of only a few weeks. Like he will stick by her side even once the contract is over. She doesn’t quite know what to think of it.

Thankfully the waitress chooses that moment to come back with their orders, and Lara Jean distracts herself with her pile of pancakes long enough to forget about her own awkwardness.

Once she’s ready to face Peter again, his phone is lighting up like a Christmas tree when it lays on the table. He sighs, deep and loud, and flips the phone over to hide the screen.

“She’s blowing up my notifications.”

“I guess it wasn’t a clean goodbye then?” He only gives her A Look, with capital letters and a trademark. “You could block her.”

Peter’s laugh is humourless. “Yeah, I’m not doing that. It’s going to end in a five-minute rant in her Insta stories about how much of an asshole I am to her. Again. I’m done with this shit.”

Lara Jean offers him a tight-lipped smile, her hand finding his under the table. Their fingers link together as Peter raises both their hands above the table to lie there between them. The ring Margot gave her for her birthday shines softly in the neon lights of the dinner. Lara Jean makes up her mind faster than she would have expected of herself, given the circumstances.

“Open Instagram,” she tells him. When Peter only reacts with a confused look, she adds, “We’ll give her a taste of her own medicine.”

Which is petty and low, maybe, but Lara Jean is tired of it. Tired of Peter’s kicked puppy look and the hold Gen still has on him. Tired of this fake dating business working on everyone else but her, tired, and tired and tired.

So she snaps a picture of her own, of their hands, with Peter’s milkshake in the background. It takes a few flirters to make it look nice despite the aggressive lights, and then she posts it to her stories, no tag, no comments. Just the simplicity of an intimate moment caught on camera, a snapshot of a cute late-night date.

Peter is smiling now, finally catching up with her act. He raises his own phone to snap a selfie, the cutest thing ever – their shoulders pressed against each other as she kisses his cheek and he makes a proud-yet-amused face to the camera. It looks so incredibly realistic that it takes Lara Jean’s breath away, just a little.

That is, until she reads the caption he’s writing down. “‘Bae’? You’re such a dork!”

He blows a kiss her way, before bursting into laughter.

…

Peter becomes a fixture in her life soon enough.

Even if the contract only stipulates one vlog appearance per week, Lara Jean finds herself at the vlog house on most filming days, if only because it’s fun. She doesn’t always participate in the more elaborate jokes and pranks, but she likes to witness it all happen in front of her eyes. The difference between real life and what actually makes it to the vlog fascinates her more than she can put into words.

Any other day, she works on her own channel, testing and prepping recipes when she not actually filming, workshopping new ideas with Kitty, talking brand deals and sponsor agreements with Trina. It’s long, hard work, always has been. But she loves it, loves to spend most of her time in the kitchen to experiment on new recipes to make them perfect, to try stuff she finds on Pinterest, or just to improve some of her classics.

Peter has an habit of showing up to her house when she’s working now. He doesn’t really bother her in the kitchen – always first in line to taste anything, though – and for the most part he’s happy just chilling and editing in a corner, or napping in her living room. She’s gotten used to his mop of curly hair popping from the side of the sofa, or his long legs stretching in front of him when he sits on the kitchen floor. More than one time he ends up with flour in his hair, too busy working on his vlog to notice. Those make for amazing Insta stories.

It is one such day, Kitty sitting on the kitchen island to edit, Peter napping in another room, and Lara Jean practicing a mirror cake for a Halloween recipe. Those are far from her favourite, but they’re damn clickbaity and popular on the internet. Everything for the views, or something.

“I’m just saying, Gabe is totally down to take care of it when we go to Korea.”

It’s an old argument – Kitty has wanted a puppy since she was about six. Arguments against were fairly easy when they were still living in the family house, what with both dad and Margot allergic to dogs. But times has past and they have their own house now, in a whole different state. It’s getting harder and harder to find arguments against having a dog, to the point where Lara Jean doesn’t even know why she still fight her sister about it. Good habits, and all that.

“Gabe? Gabe Rivera? The guy who can’t even remember to feed himself most days? That Gabe?”

“You’re so mean!” Kitty grabs a chocolate chip and throws it at her, but Lara Jean dodges easily. “And okay, maybe not Gabe. But we can afford to put it in a puppy hotel now. I heard they have some great ones in Downtown LA. Come on, Lara Jean!”

Kitty gives her the face, with the teary eyes and pouty lip. It used to work as a child, and Kitty knows it. As a twenty-something girl, though, it has lost some of its childish charm and is not as effective as it used to be.

“What is she saying no to?” Peter asks as he slides his way into the kitchen.

His hair is all over the place and his eyes still heavy with sleep, which is a very powerful combo. Lara Jean’s heart does a weird flip-floppy thing, before it stops beating altogether as Peter comes behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and hide his face in her neck. She swears he presses a kiss against her skin there, but it might as well be her mind make things up – hard to know, when she’s forgotten how to breath.

“She doesn’t want me to get a puppy,” Kitty replies immediately, all awkwardness ignored in the face of getting what she wants. “Which isn’t fair at all!”

Peter looks at Kitty from above Lara Jean’s shoulder, refusing to let got of her. He’s warm and solid against her back, so she leans herself lean into him, just a little bit. Might as well take advantage of a human pillow while she can; she’s spent hours on her feet today, she deserves it.

“What kind of a dog?”

“A Japanese Akita!”

“It’s like, a big Shiba,” Lara Jean adds for clarity.

She doesn’t need to look at Peter to literally hear the wheels turning in his head. He doesn’t stand up straighter or anything, doesn’t even really show interest in that little fact but. She knows how he’s wired. She can even read the clickbait vlog title from there.

SURPRISING MY GIRLFRIEND’S SISTER WITH A SHIBA PUPPY!!

Two million views in the first week, and the very least. A bit more if he picks the right thumbnail or if Kitty starts crying. Which might actually happen, because she’s wanted a puppy for so long, has begged for it for most of her life. And, yes, her baby sister deserves something nice, a little companion to follow her everywhere and all adorably distract her from editing videos until 4am every night. She deserves the world, really.

Peter keeps trading questions and answers with Kitty, obviously to gather more information – would she like a girl puppy or a boy puppy, does she have an idea for a name, which cool tricks she would teach it. Kitty answers happily, glad that someone is actually interested in her puppy story for once.

She does have a weird look on her face when Lara Jean feeds Peter a big chocolate chip, though, and he hums happily before snuggling a little tighter against her. At least her cake is in the oven for half an hour, so he doesn’t distract her from delicate piping work or something of the like.

He does distract her a lot in general, though.

It’s another hour before he decides to go back to his own place – no doubt to look up Shiba breeders in California. Kitty follows him to the door and waves her goodbye at him while Lara Jean finishes cleaning up the kitchen.

When Kitty comes back, it’s with her phone in her hand, already dialing Margot. It’s the middle of the night in London, but who even cares when your name is Catherine Song-Covey.

“Kitty, what the hell?” comes Margot’s sleepy voice.

“Lara Jean’s fake boyfriend wants to be her real boyfriend.”

Suddenly, Margot is awake.

Suddenly, Lara Jean wants to die.

…

Of all the people in the house, John Ambrose is the one Lara Jean spends the less time with. Which might not be fair on him, since he’s always so nice and gentle in everything he does and say, since he’s welcomed her without second thought when she first joined the group, since he’s one of the best people she knows.

But every time she looks at him, she remembers Vidcon, and being drunk and kissing him just because. Lara Jean knows, on an intellectual level, that it’s okay. People kiss other people all the time at parties, and that’s the end of it. But it’s not who she is, and she feels uncomfortable with herself every time John Ambrose is around, the the point of almost avoiding him sometimes.

Which makes him coming to her in the vlog house’s kitchen all the more awkward.

“Hey, I’ve got something for you,” he tells her.

Chris is teaching her how to play Horizon: Zero Dawn today, and Lara Jean took a break to fix them twin bowls of ice cream, with extra chocolate sauce and whipped cream. She’s in the middle of adding sprinkles – god knows why they have that in the kitchen – and thus startles a little at John Ambrose’s surprise appearance.

She closes the tube of sprinkles and turns around, one hand rising to tug a strand of hair behind her ear. “Really?”

He hands out what appears to be a book at first look, but is so much more when she takes it between her hands. It’s an ancient notebook, with a hard cover and pages yellowed by time, so fragile-looking she’s careful when she opens it. Each page is a recipe written by hand in beautiful cursive letters, or cut from a book and taped to a page. From the illustrations alone, it looks at least from the 60s, if not older.

“I told my grandma about you. Her name is Stormy and she’s the most badass person I know. She loves to hear about the gang, and she wanted to know more about you so I showed her some of your videos. I didn’t even know she even cared about cooking before she gave that to me. She said you could put it to good use.”

“Oh my god, it’s amazing.”

Recipes upon recipes of things to put in jello, and old-timey cakes, questionable casseroles and salads. Better than anything she could find on Pinterest, or even Mary Berry’s recent cookbooks. That’s the real stuff, coming at her from a different time, where cooking was a woman’s duty first instead of a little pleasure in life.

A simple hot milk sponge cake catches her eye, and it’s enough to get her mind running. She’s already coming up with so many ideas, and decorated settings for her kitchen, and recipes to try. It’s overwhelming.

“Do you want to collab?” she asks John Ambrose before she can second-guess herself. “I’d really like to meet her, and maybe try a recipe together? We could even play dress up, it could be fun.”

John Ambrose’s mouth stays opened for a few seconds, caught off-guard by her proposition. But then he’s shaking his head a bit and smiling, a little laugh at the corner of his lips. “Sure, why not? Could be fun.”

“Thought we had something, Covey?”

She turns her head to find Peter at the kitchen’s entrance. His eyes are unreadable as they move from her to John Ambrose, to the book in her hands, to her face again. It’s not cold or closed-off, which would be easier to deal with. No, he’s putting on a front, but she can see he’s hurt. Jealous, even.

So she smiles at him, to reassure him. Placate him even, just a little. “We’ll always have fruitcake cookies.”

When he smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes.

…

Christmas creeps up around the corner before Lara Jean is ready for it. It goes the same way every year – all three Song girls fly back to spend Christmas with dad, baking more cookies than they can eat and opening their gifts by the tree with hot cups of cocoa on the coffee table. Dad will try (and mostly fail) to cook some Korean meals their mother loved so much, and everyone will pretend not to be sad at the seat that has been empty for longer than not.

This year, though, something different happens. Not with the whole Christmas thing, no, that never changes. But once Lara Jean and Kitty are back to LA, Chris comes over and tells them to pack their things and be ready in an hour, tops. She won’t give them anymore details, so Lara Jean texts Lucas to spills the beans.

“Gabe’s parents own a cabin near Alta Sierra,” she reads out loud to Kitty. “We’re spending New Year’s Eve there.”

“Are you kidding?” Her sister turns around from her wardrobe, a handful of puppy in her hands – yes, a Christmas gift from Peter, surprise, surprise – and a look of wonder on her face. “I’ve always wanted a white New Year!”

“Well, pack warm sweaters, it’s going to be rustic,” Lara Jean comments as Lucas sends her a couple of pictures of said cabins. “And wool socks.”

“Are you going to be kissing Peter at midnight?”

“I want you ready in 20 minutes,” she goes on as she moves to her own bedroom.

Truth is, she doesn’t have that many warm clothes. LA doesn’t require that kind of a wardrobe, especially with the AC they have going on in the house. But Lara Jean manages to dig a few sweaters from the back of her wardrobe, as well as warm leggins she usually wears under dresses when she visits her family in Korean. She even finds a cute hat and matching mittens, and her Hufflepuff scarf from when they went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Exactly one hour later, cars are honking in front of their house. Two of them, the gang split between the vehicles, with Chris behind a wheel and Peter behind the other. He jumps out of his van and helps them carry their bags and puppy supplies.

“I’ll go with Chris,” Lara Jean says, hoping her voice doesn’t shows that she’s still peeved by Kitty’s comment from earlier. If the look Peter gives her is anything to go by, she failed miserably. Not that she lets herself think about it too much, climbing inside the car while Kitty walks toward Peter’s van.

Lucas looks at her through the rearview mirror, one eyebrow raised, but doesn’t say anything. Neither does Chris, once she’s slammed the trunk closed and is back behind the wheel, now blasting a playlist through the speakers.

“Alta Sierra, here we come!”

It takes them four hours to drive to the cabin, and then some for everyone to unload, unpack and unwind. Chris won’t stop complaining about the crick in her neck from driving too long, so much so that she doesn’t even comment or complain at Lara Jean bunking with her in one of the many bedrooms.

Gabe starts a fire in the living room and convinces Kitty to help him make S’Mores, and soon they are all gathered there, sitting straight on the floor with sticky fingers and easy laughs. Everyone but Peter, Lara Jean can’t help but notice, who’s disappeared the moment he parks the car in front of the cabin.

Lucas must notice her look of confusion, because he nudges her with his elbow and nods for her to follow him. She does, silent until they lock themselves in a bedroom, sitting side by side on the bed. They don’t say anything, not for a very long while, but then she starts speaking and finds that she is unable to stop. She tells him about the contract and the fake relationship, about Gen and the party, about Peter’s lack of boundaries, his weird behaviour these past few weeks, and how confused this all is and how lost she feels.

“Wait, you guys have been faking it all this time?” Lucas asks, dumbfounded. When she only nods, looking down at her hand, he lets out a little laugh. “Yeah, no.”

She looks up at him. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been in the gang for five years now, LJ. I’ve seen some shit happening, and Peter isn’t as good an actor as he thinks he is. Sometimes it’s better that he is behind the camera, actually. So let me tell you, this? This ain’t acting.”

“You can’t know that.” She bites on her bottom lip, before she adds, “If anything else, I’m the one pining like an idiot.”

“Oh, believe me, I can. Because let me resume. You came up with the no PDA rule. You asked John to do something that was entirely Peter-and-you until now. You decided not to drive with him, and not to keep your little collabs exclusive and you very much aren’t the one mopping in a corner right now. So if anyone is pining like an idiot, it’s not you. It’s Kavinsky.”

She opens her mouth, but no word comes out at first. And then, “He’s really mopping in a corner?”

Lucas only nods.

…

She finds him in the hot tube, just outside the cabin. He is indeed mopping, like Lucas said, looking down with a frown and looking all around miserable. His head shoots up when she says a little ‘hey’ but he doesn’t reply, instead silently following her with his eyes as she makes her way around the hot tube to climb the few steps and sit on the edge.

The contrast of the cold of winter against her skin with the warmth of the water is a weird one, but it doesn’t compared to his heated eyes when they find hers across the water. He swallows, and she sighs. It is harder than she would have believe, for something so simple. Tell your fake boyfriend you like him. Tell him you’ve been stupid, your insecurities have been playing tricks on you, you’re so terrified of making it real. Tell him you don’t remember who you were before him, and you don’t want to go back to being this person. Tell him he matters so much, you can’t even put it into words.

When he still refuses to talk, she asks, “Now you’re ignoring me?”

“Oh I’m the one ignoring you?” he replies with a bitter smile and a snort of humourless laughter. “Funny.”

“Shouldn’t we be easing out of this relationship, since the contract is over anyway?”

Which, all things considered, is the worst thing to say. Peter knows it too, if the look he sends her, halfway between hurt and offended, is anything to go by. And then he’s laughing again, under his breath, and looking down again. Ignoring her. Dismissing her.

She has none of it. Because if those past few months taught her anything, it’s to be braver than she feels, to get out of her comfort zone, to push herself. So she shrugs off her coat, lets it falls on the ground, before she slips her legs inside the hot tube and softly falls in. Peter looks back at her, confused frown on his brows.

“What are you doing?”

“Coming in.”

“In your pyjamas,” he points out, glancing down at the Hello Kitty combo she’s wearing.

She shrugs a little, even as she moves closer to him until she can put her hands on his knees. “I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” she explains. He’s close enough that she can see the red high on his cheeks, can focus on the way he bites down on his bottom lip as his eyes travel down her body, to the light fabric now sticking to her skin.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, so low she’s afraid he might not hear it.

But he does, of course, leaning forward until his face is only a breath away from hers. “What for?”

“Being scared. Of this. Of us.” She looks away, can’t deal with the intensity of his gaze. “I’m not good at letting people in. It’s not easy for me.”

“You’re doing great so far,” he replies, his voice lighter already, almost smiling. “You suck, though. I’d bought so many snacks for the drive here, even those Japanese drinks you like so much and like, five different types of Pocky. Which means…”

“You like Asian snacks?”

He shakes his head with a chuckle, and splashes some water her way. “Why are you so dense, oh my god.”

She isn’t, of course. So she uses his knees to rise up a little, to lean closer to him. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting stupid lately,” she whispers.

“That’s alright,” he replies in an equally low voice.

And then he finally takes it all in, her body so close to his, her clothes like a second skin, the tension between them like an elastic ready to snap. He notices it all, his eyes darkening even as he offers her a smile, and a tiny shrug, even as he softens in front of her.

“The contract was only until Christmas,” she reminds him.

“I’m aware,” he replies.

His smile is taking over his entire face now, the meaning behind the statement obvious to the both of them – they no longer have to pretend anything. They’re doing this not because they have to, but because they want to. Nothing to bind them professionally, nobody to check in the fine print. Just two people, in front of each other, wearing their feelings on their sleeve.

Peter’s hand grab her thigh in the water as he grins at her, a simple “There’s no one like you, Covey,” on his lip as he hauls her up to sit in his lap. And then he’s kissing her. Or maybe she’s kissing her. Or maybe it doesn’t matter, when all she can focus on is the softness of his lips against hers, the warm of his tongue, the strength of his arms around her. He presses her against his chest, and she loses herself in their kiss, forgets about anything that isn’t Peter and Peter’s mouth and Peter’s love for her.

She breaks away when it becomes too much, only to swoon at the sight of him – lips swollen and eyes pitch black, his hair sticking in every direction, his cheeks burning. He’s so beautiful it takes her breath away, and she has to kiss him again. And again. And again, until he’s giggling against her lips and it makes it all messy.

“Hey, Covey,” he asks, forehead against hers, hand in her hair. “I’ve got a collab idea.”

She laughs, soft, fond. “Let’s make it a series of videos.”

“An ongoing partnership.”

“A second channel.”

“Shut up and kiss me again.”

She does.

#covinsky #covinsky ff #covinsky fanfic #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

Text

is this clickbait? (2)

also on ao3 + read the first instalment

BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP ft. Peter Kavinsky

Song Not-Bakery • 5.6M views • 4 days ago

“Hi everyone and welcome back to my second channel!” she greets the camera the way she usually does. “Today my boyfriend does my makeup and we’re here with Peter who’s, erh. My boyfriend.”

He’s already laughing. “Why do you have to say it so weird?” he teases her, his voice high-pitched from his giggles.

“I don’t know?” she replies in the same tone, looking away from the camera to stare at him. He’s got his bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he looks at her, and she forgets they’re filming, just for a second. And then she snaps out of it, focusing back on the camera. “So, yeah. It’s actually something I jokingly mentioned when Peter and I started filming together, and people have actually been requesting it a lot so…”

Kitty will edit screencaps of comments asking for this very same video in post-prod, she knows, the way she always does when people keep badgering her with the same thing over and over again. That’s how she ended up doing a fridge and pantry tour a few months ago, and a house tour too. People are damn too nosy for their own good.

“So here I am. Making a fool of myself on the Internet.”

She can’t help but laugh at Peter’s comment, just a little. “As opposed to?” she teases, and laughs some more at the way Peter’s nose wrinkles when he makes a face at her. “Anyway, I gave Peter my makeup bag, and he chose a tutorial from RomanticRonny to follow, ‘cause he obviously needs guidelines.”

“Obviously,” he scoffs. A pause. “Yeah, it’s helpful, don’t judge me.”

“Also, if you don’t already know, Veronica is moving to LA very soon and we’re all super excited about it,” Lara Jean adds, with a little wink to the camera. “So, which tutorial did you choose?”

“Well, you’re usually low-key with your makeup, so I picked something a little more bright and colourful for a change. It’s called ‘Faux Freckles and Sunset’,” Peter provides, doing little waves with his fingers to where Kitty will add the thumbnail to the video later.

Lara Jean hides her smirk. “You’re aware eyeshadow is very different on monolids, right?”

Peter pauses, looking back at her, horror on his features. He freezes for a few seconds, before he turns back to the video and pretends to stands up. “And that’s it for today guys, don’t forget to subscribe and…”

“Sit down,” she laughs. “I’ll help you.”

“Well, if you’ll help me…” he grumbles for show, sitting back down. He grabs a brush then, to brandish it in front of the camera. “Anyway, let’s get started!”

Lara Jean presses the play button on the video, already loaded on her laptop in front of them. It opens on Veronica’s final look as she greets her viewers and showcase the makeup tutorial, doing a few close-ups on the faux freckles and the eyeshadow work. It looks simple but beautiful, yet Lara Jean has no doubt Peter will struggle a little bit.

“She’s so pretty,” she can’t help but comment at Veronica’s baby doll face.

“She looks like the chick from Lucifer,” Peter adds.

Her mouth opens a little at the accuracy of his comment. “Oh my god, you’re so right!”

He preens a little, before he focuses back on the eyeshadow palette Veronica showcases on the video. “Hold on, hold on, wait, you don’t do foundation first?”

“No, eyes first.”

“Whoa, okay.” He watches as Veronica applies the first colour to her lids, before he pauses the video. “Okay, let’s try this. We don’t have the same palette but this colour looks close enough so that will do. Close your eyes.”

She’s laughing a little at how serious he is about it, but does as she’s told anyway, closing her eyes and facing him. She didn’t realise how intimate that would be, one of his legs between hers so they can sit close enough to each other, his fingers delicate as he holds her chin. He’s so close she can feel his breath on her mouth, and it only makes her want to kiss him. Which would ruin the shot, but oh well.

He softly applies pigment to her lid, then sits back to look at the result and hum his approval to himself, which makes her smile a little more.

“Don’t do that, it makes your eyes crinkle.”

“Well, excuse me for being happy,” she teases, and laughs harder when he taps her nose with one finger.

But then she sits straighter too, relaxing her features in a neutral expression. She wouldn’t want to make it harder on him, when he’s trying his best to do something decent. He plays and pauses the video a lot, to make sure he follows the instructions as accurately as possible. Eye shadow doesn’t seem to be too much of a disaster, but then he’s swearing a lot when it comes to eyeliner and mascara, giving Kitty a run for her money in blipping it all out.

“Okay, it’s not too bad,” he comments. “Oh she’s doing foundation now, cool.”

“Tell the audience why you chose that tutorial,” she prompts him as she opens her eyes again.

He’s rummaging through the mess of her makeup bag to find her foundation and a brush, before she guides him to the right one and to her beauty blender. “Cause there’s no contouring in this one.”

“Peter is scared of contouring,” she comments for her viewers.

“Am not!” he replies, almost offended. “It’s just a lot. And I like a more natural look on you.” Then, to the camera, “Who needs sharp cheekbones when you’ve got that pretty round face.”

She’s melting, just a little. “Awww, Pete.”

“Like a donut.”

“…And you ruined it.”

Her does The Face at her – when he grins so much his smile is all dimples and his eyes close almost entirely – before he goes back to the foundation. Which is kind of a mess, and she’s trying her best not to burst into laughter when he goes to town on her face with the beauty blender. She isn’t sure how effective it’ll be, cause he’s getting rid of half the product as he goes, but at least he’s having fun.

“I like how none of those brands are Western, by the way,” he comments as he shows her concealer to the camera, two fingers holding the tube with his hand behind it for the autofocus. A real beauty guru through and through.

“Yeah, it’s all Korean,” she grins. She can feel him drawing the triangle of concealer under her eyes, which might actually do a good job of hiding her never-disappearing bags. “When we go there, half the budget is for food, the other half for beauty products.”

He’s back to dabbing with the beauty blender again when he says, “And because people are going to be asking, yeah, we’re planning a trip to Korean next summer.”

She’s smiling now, chin dropping a little to hide her emotions from the camera, to which Peter replies with a large grin of his own, shaking his head a little in a silly way to mimic her and make her smile even more. Which is working, obviously.

(And if they have to cut there because he drops a quick kiss to her lips… Well. Nobody needs to know.)

“Do I need to fill your eyebrows in?” he asks next, and she’s once again stricken by how earnest he sounds.

It took them a few months to get to this video, if only because Peter was quite reluctant to do it – all because of Gen. He’d told Lara Jean that he’d asked Gen to do that kind of video before, once upon a time when they were dating, but she’d outright refused. Stated that he would only mess it up and make her look bad, and it’s not something she wanted for her modelling career. Lara Jean had (silently) called bullshit the moment he’d explained, but she could understand how he was feeling about it.

How he still feels, careful not to mess it up, to do something good so she will be pleased and happy about him. Not for the first time, she’s saddened by how insidious a toxic relationship can be to someone like Peter, too kind and too people-pleasing.

“Only if they look too powdery,” she explains.

He leans in closer, frowning at her eyebrows, before he blows on them softly. It tickles a bit and makes her laugh, to which Peter replies with a smile. “It’s fine. Also, no lipstick, your mouth is fine.”

“Your mouth is fine too.”

He grins. “You’re welcome.” Then he’s grabbing her chin again, his fingers soft against her skin as he turns her head this and that way to check up on his work, before he nods sagely. “Good. Freckles now.”

It goes a little bit faster from there, hand-poking faux freckles on her nose and cheekbones in different eyebrow pencil colours to make them look natural, before he dabs them with a beauty blender. Before she knows it, he’s nodding again and grabbing a round mirror.

“You ready?” he asks, eager and excited.

She loves him so much it hurts.

“Yeah, show me,” she replies, clapping her hands before raising them in front of her mouth.

He flips the mirror over so she can see her reflection, and her mouth opens in surprise.

“Oh my god, Pete,” she whispers as she leans in closer to the mirror.

The blending on her eyelids need a bit of work, and her eyeliner is definitely wonky, but the faux freckles look amazing, and the warm colour palette on her eyes looks amazing. He really did take care of all the details, and so she leans closer to the camera so the audience can look at the results too.

“You like it?” he asks, suddenly shy and nervous.

Her boyfriend. Her beautiful, amazing boyfriend.

“I love it!” she exclaims. “It’s so different, wow! Look at those colours!”

And if many people comment about how he’s blushing and looking at her adoringly, well. It’s nice to brag about how awesome Peter is, once in a while. He deserves it, if anything else.

Gabe Rivera ✓2 days ago

GUYS TONE IT DOWN THERE ARE KIDS WATCHING!!!!!

View 47 replies v

RomanticRonny ✓1 day ago

Awwwww you guys! Peter did such a good job! Can’t wait to meet you all next month!

View 51 replies v

bellyrubs 2 days ago

I know we’re all always commenting on the way LJ looks at him in the vlogs but can we talk about how SOFT Peter is around her? How he was delicately holding her face? The compliments all through the video? How pleased he was that she liked the look? We stan one perfect boyfriend.

View 35 replies v

CovinskyIsLove 3 days ago

doctor: you only have 16:47 minutes to live

me: *clicks on this video*

View 29 replies v

HairyPouter 4 days ago

last time I came this early Gen was still in the vlogs

View 8 replies v

#covinsky #covinsky ff #covinsky fanfic #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

Text

is this clickbait? (#4)

also on ao3 + main instalment + behind the scenes

we’re no longer dating

Peter Kavinsky 2 • 6.9M views • 3 days ago

“So…” Peter starts as he comes to sit next to her on one of the couches. Lucas and Gabe share the second couch, while Chris sits on the floor as is her habit. John stands in a corner, leaning against the wall. “We wanted everyone to know it first, before rumours start spreading.”

LJ bites down on her lip as she looks down to her lap, both hands clasped together between her thighs. She doesn’t particularly like when Peter’s tone gets so serious, too far away from his usual excited pitch. It doesn’t suit him, even if it suits the situation at hand.

“What?” Chris jokes, almost nervously. “Did you kill someone?”

“Something like this,” LJ agrees with a nod, still not looking up at her friend.

She feels the pressure of Peter’s hand on her shoulder, just for a moment, before he lets go of her with a sigh. “Thing is… Lara Jean and I decided to stop dating.”

His confession is met with stunned silence from all their friends. LJ chances a glance at them from behind her hair; Chris just staring at them with her mouth wide open, Lucas’ hand gripping her shoulder while his other hand is pressed to his mouth. Gabe just staring, his lips so tight his mouth disappears almost entirely. She doesn’t dare look John Ambrose’s way.

“What. The. Fuck,” Chris pronounces slowly, stopping on each word as her eyes move between Peter and LJ.

Peter carries on like a champ. “We had a long discussion about it, about the future and what we wanted in life and… well, we came to some conclusions, and we decided we couldn’t keep going on like this and…”

Slowly, deliberately, LJ raises one hand to grab some of her hair and tug it behind her ear. Much to her surprise, Gabe is the first one to react, letting out a loud gasp that catches the attention of the others.

“Oh you FUCKING ASSHOLES!” Chris screams, jumping to her feet.

“I BELIEVED YOU, YOU MORONS!” Lucas agrees.

Chris is already pouncing on LJ, snatching her hand with such strength that it will probably leave a bruise. She dangles LJ’s hand in front of Peter’s face, as if he wasn’t already aware of the ring on her fourth finger. As if he didn’t put it here himself a few days ago.

LJ’s cheeks already hurt from grinning too much at her friends’ reactions, all of them bursting into yells and screams and a hundred questions. Chris’s face is so close to her ring it would only need a flick of the wrist to slap her, not that LJ will do it.

Gabe is jumping like an excited puppy.

And Lucas looks back at John Ambrose suspiciously. “Why aren’t you reacting?”

John Ambrose simply shrugs, the picture of innocence, as he leans away from the wall and walks toward them. “I can’t believe you all bought it.”

“You knew,” Gabe states, squinting his eyes at him.

Chris gasps at LJ. “John knew and you didn’t tell me? Friendship over.”

LJ can only laugh then, leaning against Peter a little. He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her to his chest in an almost protective gesture. Her fiancé. She still can’t entirely believe it, has to pinch her arm or look down at her hand to remember this is all real.

“No regret,” Lj grins at her best friend, who replies with a huff.

“Now, that’s great and all, I’m happy for you, yaddy yadda,” Gabe says next. “But the real question is, where did you plant the camera for that stunt?”

Peter points to it, hidden among the books on the selves.

“Nice,” Lucas agrees, jogging toward the shelves to grab the camera. “Best clickbait ever.”

…

“I told you I need a twenty-second notice before you put a camera in my face,” John deadpans, trying and failing at pushing Peter’s camera away. Peter just keeps grinning at him like the fool he most likely is, and his best friend notices straight away. “What now?”

“I need your help with something.”

John’s features are unamused at best. It’s been quite the eventful month already, what with it being summer and thus a perfect time to go on tour. Stopping only a day or two in each city, being on scene, signing, taking pictures, meeting fan. All amazing, both on paper and in reality, but exhausting too.

They’re all on the verge of sleep deprivation, and John is running in circles about not being able to produce quality content or to be able to film in his usual studio. Saying that he’s been on edge these past few weeks is a bit of an understatement. He might burn out before they make it to Vidcon.

“What is it, Peter?” he sighs, already tired. Still, he’s standing up from his hotel bed and looking for his phone and keys already, like the good bro he is.

Peter only grins at him, bouncing on the balls of his feet a little. Thankfully he has a stabilizer not to make his camera all shaky. “We’re going shopping.”

John stops mid-reaching for his phone and turns back to Peter. “We’re not going to Target just so you can have content. You know we’re banned for life.”

Do a little harmless prank and Target will blow it out of proportions. They didn’t even have to get the firefighters involved, and yet Target forbad them from ever coming back, and especially coming back with a camera. Now they have to send LJ every time they need cheap snacks, and she’s not particularly happy about it.

“We’re not going to Target,” Peter reassures his friend. “But we are going to the mall…”

“I’m tired already…”

“Cause I need help ring shopping.”

John freezes. Properly freezes in the middle of putting his jacket on, staring at Peter with his mouth agape and his eyes widening. Which, okay. Probably not the best way to announce to your best friend that you want to propose to the girl of your dreams but. That’s Peter for you.

“Dude…” John starts, slow and careful.

“I know.”

“She’s going to freak out!”

“I know!”

John pauses again, just long enough to shrug his jacket on, before he tilts his head to the side. “Are you going to propose at Vidcon, like the romantic fool you are?”

Peter rolls his eyes so much he’s afraid they’ll get stuck at the back of his head. He hates how much of an easy read he is for his best friend, how nothing escapes John. Which is exactly why he’s telling him in the first place -- to have someone to freak out to before he actually asks LJ to marry him, to have someone he can turn to not to ruin the surprise.

Still, John keeps it way too real.

“Shut up. She’ll love it.”

“I know she will, that’s the worst part. You’re both romantic fools.”

…

“So real talk, guys,” Peter announces to his camera. It’s propped up on a few books on his desk, because apparently he’s too much of a cheap fuck to buy a new tripod these days. “We wanted to share the news with you, because it’s super important to us. But also, you know how we are with our privacy, especially when it comes to my relationship with LJ, so I hope nobody will make it weird or anything. Please, please, don’t make it weird. Don’t ask questions about how I proposed or anything like that, don’t ask LJ to post pictures of the ring, don’t… Just let us have this, okay? We’ll share what we want to share when we want to share it, so it’d be extra nice of you to understand that. Also, don’t bombard our PO box with gifts? If you want to do something nice for our engagement, I’ve put a list of charities we endorse in the comment sections, go and donate money to their cause instead of blowing it on gifts. That’s seriously the best gif you could give us. Anyway, see you guys on Monday’s vlog!”

The John Ambrose Show ✓ 3 days ago

Like if you had a mini heart attack!

View 37 replies v

CovinskyIsLove 3 days ago

HOLY MOLY CLICKBAIT I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU BUT SO FURIOUS AT THE SAME TIME

View 15 replies v

TurtlesNinjaMutantTeenage 2 days ago

Remember two years ago when LJ was like .3sec in the vlog for the first time and we all freaked out? How far they’ve gone since then? And now they’re getting fucking married? Damn, we stand Youtube royalty.

View 27 replies v

#covinsky #covinsky fanfic #covinsky ff #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views #(definitely clickbait)

26 notes · View notes

truthofherdreams · 6 years

Text

is this clickbait? (#3)

also on ao3 + read the first instalment

MUKBANG | Q&A WITH LARA JEAN

Peter Kavinsky 2 • 5.6M views • 3 days ago

“Okay, you need to explain the food because even I am confused and I’ve been dating you for a few months.”

He’s never seen so many pastries in his life, which says something when you know he’s dating a professional baker. He’s come to see more cookie than vegetables in her fridges, and she always walks around with a layer of flour on her skin but. Still. That is a lot of pastries on the table.

“So basically,” Lara Jean replies as she walks around the table from where she’s switched the camera on. She waves as it as she sits down, before she goes on, “I always try my recipes a couple of times to perfect them, and then I often have to redo it on camera when I’m filming a video. Which leaves us with a lot of food.”

“An understatement,” Peter chimes in with a critical look at the numerous plates of cookies, muffins and half-cut cakes.

“I usually give them to local shelters or charities, things like that, so the food doesn’t go to waste. Because we obviously can’t eat everything on our own. But you wanted to do this video, so I kept this week’s pastries for it.”

“It’s Wednesday,” he points out. “You baked all of this in three days.”

Lara Jean shrugs, unapologetic. “I’m a perfectionist.”

Peter can only smile at that because, yes, she is. It’s one of the things he loves best about her, how passionate she is about what she does and what she believes in. It makes her such a talented baker and Youtuber.

“Anyway. Mukbang!” He grins at her and she smiles back, before he focuses back on the camera. “So we asked you to send some questions in for us, and we’re going to answer them while having a feast so. Enjoy! We sure will!”

Lara Jean laughs a little, hand hovering over the plates and fingers waving, before she settles on a macadamia cookie. “Okay, shoot first.”

He’s faster than she is, shoving half a vanilla muffin in his mouth like the heathen he is, before he takes his phone out to ready the first question from his notes.

“One of the most requested is about how we met and started dating. Care to explain?”

She nods and puts her cookie down. Although they will never gives the real explanation to the audience – no way in hell – they settled on a cover story early on. It would have come up at some point anyway, so better have all the details picked, just in case.

“Chris introduces us during a Vidcon party, actually,” Lara Jean starts with the truth. The lie comes next. “We exchanged numbers and started texting and that was it, really. We wanted to see where things would lead us so we took a leap of faith.”

“Which, we know it doesn’t sound terribly romantic,” Peter adds, making her grin. “And believe me, LJ is all about the romance. But it worked for us, and it’s the most important part.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she agrees.

Peter loses himself in her soft eyes for a moment there, forgetting about the world around him, the pastries, the camera rolling. It still takes him by surprise sometimes, how lucky he is to have her in his life.

He’s pretty sure he would have fallen in love with her eventually, fake relationship or not. He couldn’t stop thinking about her after that one party, and it’s only because her manager contacted his first that he didn’t ask Chris for her number. He’d been debating sending her a DM on Instagram for days when his manager called him. It was meant to be, really.

“Okay, next question,” she says, shaking her head a little to focus back on the task at her. She’s got her questions written down on a notebook, because she’s a fucking dork. “Well, questions. How does it feel to have such a public relationship and also how do we deal with everyone in the squad involved in our relationship?”

“Lucas uses us for clickbait more than I do,” Peter comments sagely, to which LJ almost chokes on a mouthful of cookie. He smirks a little at the face she pulls, like she’s trying very hard not to burst into laughter in front of the camera. Once he’s certain she’s fine, he turns back to the camera. “I’m probably going to burst a couple of bubbles here, but we don’t actually film each other all day every day. First because that would be waaaaay too much footage to go through, and also because our lives are not that interesting all the time. What is a few minutes in the vlog is only about an hour or two of filming per day, really.”

“And also,” LJ adds, now breathing properly again, “we’re all really good at boundaries. Everything you see in our videos, everyone has agreed to share beforehand. So it’s not as if anyone in the squad is over-nosy or anything.”

“Yeah, basically,” Peter agrees. “As for how public our relationship is… Same, to be honest? We decided very early on what we didn’t want to put in the vlogs and what was just for us. Our couple is so much more that what we’re showing you guys. Thankfully.”

“So stop asking for a kiss, it’s not happening.”

“Really?” Peter asks, teasing.

He leans forward before she can even notice what happens or stop him, planting a loud kiss on her cheek. She complains a little and pushes him away, and she does the thing where she lets her hair fall in front of her face to hide how embarrassed she is. The cutest shit ever.

“Pete,” she whines a little. He bites down his lip with a goofy smile that will, no doubt, result in a few comments. He’s fine with it.

And truth is, he’s careful about how touchy-feely he is with Lara Jean in their videos. He knows how important her privacy is to her, and that she doesn’t want to blast their relationship to the world, isn’t comfortable with millions of people witnessing their PDA. Not when they still haven’t been further than heavy petting, not when she still isn’t ready for the next step. And it’s fine, really. Peter would rather she takes her time and be ready than to coax her into something just because he’s horny. He would hate himself so much if that were to happen.

So he hides his smile with another mouthful of muffin and waits for the next question that arrives only a few seconds later.

“Next one is from one SimonSays,” Lara Jean announces. Then, with a little wave to the camera, “Hi Simon!”

Peter gives a two-finger salute to their fellow Youtuber and friend. “Sup, dude?”

“Simon asks if we have any collabs scheduled any time soon, especially ones that involve flying to New York and stuff,” she smiles.

“When are the Streamys again?” he asks, just to be an asshole.

She slaps his shoulder with the back of her hand, just to show he’s indeed being an asshole. Which really isn’t right, especially when it comes to Simon – fellow Youtuber, second nerdiest Hufflepuff he knows and all around amazing dude with an amazing channel and amazing boyfriend. Simon didn’t do anything to deserve Peter’s peacocky attitude.

“We don’t count being in each other’s videos as collabs since it basically happens every week,” Peter explains, since people often ask about it. “But Ronny has some projects with the girls, as far as I know.”

“She does,” Lara Jean agrees. “Also Dimples and I are in talks about a little something regarding being a woman of colour on the internet. And yeah, Simon is welcomed to LA any time. Heard that, Simon?”

“Bram still owes us a basketball match.”

“He destroyed you last time,” LJ reminds him, so simple and innocent about it that he can only make an offended face at her.

She grabs a cookie with both hands and takes a nibble, looking so fucking cute that he can’t stay fake-mad at her for more than a few seconds. A power she thankfully doesn’t know she masters to perfection, otherwise he would be in so much more trouble.

“Anyway,” he says slowly. “Next. Who said ‘I love you’ first?”

He was afraid the question was too personal at first, but the way LJ seems to melt on the spot has him reconsider. He can see in her eyes that she’s thinking about it too, the memory still fresh in both their minds despite it being a few months old now. A perfect moment under the stars, right after New Year’s Eve – the novelty of their relationship had them both giddy all through their stay in the cabin, until he’d taken her to admire the sky at night, one big fluffy blanket around their shoulders and mugs of steaming hot cocoa in hands. It’d seemed like the perfect moment, and it was.

“He did,” Lara Jean admits, soft and loving.

“That’s right,” he echoes, preening a little for the camera, pointing to himself with one finger. “Ya boy is proud of his feelings for his lady.”

And then she says, “We stan the destruction of toxic masculinity,” and he bursts into laughter for two full minutes. They’ll have to cut that, so he might as well kiss her too while he’s at it and get rid of all the footage in editing.

“Will Lara Jean ever move in the vlog house?” she reads, then immediately shakes her head. And keeps shaking it. For a whole thirty seconds. Just in case it wasn’t clear enough.

Any other dude would take that as rejection or a punch to his ego. Not Peter. Because he knows the vlog house is a whole fucking lot – more like some frat house that anything else, where they can do the craziest shit without a care in the world. And Lara Jean, she doesn’t entirely belongs in that kind of a place. She needs peace and quiet. A comfy armchair where to read. Silence.

It’s too early for any talks of moving in together but. He’s thought about it. Of course he has, he’s thought about a whole lot of things since he admitted to himself that she’s The One, capital letters and all.

So when – when, not if – they move in together, it will be at Lara Jean’s house. Or perhaps they can leave it to Kitty and find a place of their own instead. It doesn’t matter much to him. But it will be a place of their own, somewhere just for the two of them. And it will be perfect.

“To be fair, our kitchen is shit,” he comments.

LJ almost looks relieved at his words. “You have an electric oven. That’s barbaric.”

“Speaking of which,” he adds and grabs his phone once more to read the next question, “Has Peter ever tried to cook Korean food for you?”

She laughs so loudly she chokes on a cookie and sputters a little, then laughs and laughs and laughs.

Yes, he decides with a grin of his own, it’ll be perfect.

ItsNeverBro 3 days ago

WAIT LJ IS FRIENDS WITH DIMPLES SHAH??? HOW IS THAT BRAND NEW INFORMATION TO ME?????

View 8 replies v

CovinskyIsLove 3 days ago

LA’s hottest vlog squad! This place has everything! Adorable relationships! Unexpected collabs! Female solidarity! Men in tune with their feelings! Lots of cookies!

View 15 replies v

SimonSays ✓ 2 days ago

Seriously? Right in front of my salad? (How about you come to NY instead, huh?)

View 27 replies v

PizzaParty 1 day ago

we stan one unproblematic youtube couple. diza who? jerika who? i don’t know them

View 14 replies v

#covinsky #covinsky fanfic #covinsky ff #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

Text

life behind the camera (#3)

also on ao3 + main instalment + outtakes

“So, Peter’s mother,” is how Lara Jean introduces the subject as she sits on John Ambrose’s couch.

He’s done filming for today’s video, laptop propped up in front of him and slowly importing the video he will then start to edit. She caught him at a good time – not yet too busy – but still he arches a surprised eyebrow at her.

“Rachel Kavinsky,” he spells out slowly, deliberately. “Doesn’t like me much, to be honest.”

“What, you? No! You’re like, the poster boy for parents to like.”

He grins and she’s reminded of how handsome he is, in such a different way. Peter is Hollywood-handsome, the kind you find in magazines and movies and everywhere. John is more old-school, like he tumbled out of a black and white movie and decided to just salary living in modern times. Not for the first time, LJ wonders why he’s not dating anyone. It would be so easy for him to find someone to fall in love in love with him.

“Right,” he laughs. “She’s the exception though.” LJ doesn’t reply anything, but her confusion must show in the puzzled look on her face, because John sighs a little. His shoulders drop, slouching a bit as he looks for his words. “Peter ever told you what we were doing before moving to LA?”

She shakes her head. She knows they moved here when they were 19, and Chris followed them a few months later when Peter convinced her to join the squad. Greg was already living in LA when they met him, and Lucas showed up about a year later. Then came along Lara Jean, a few years down the road. But she never questioned what happened before, or how it all led them where they are, because she already knows. Passion, hard work, and their fair share of luck. She’s been through it too.

John sighs as he leans further into his seat. “Of course, he wouldn’t,” he says with a shake of the head, hand rubbing against his face. “We were both in college together, same room and everything. I was valedictorian so I got a scholarship for my grades; Peter got in with a scholarship for the Lacrosse team. That’s when his channel really started to explode too, because we had more time to film and edit and actually create quality content.”

She gets it, she thinks. It’s not something she can relate to herself, because her channel was already doing good enough by the time she left high school, so she only had to find a part-time job in the local bakery to help daddy with the bills. It wasn’t long before she was able to live off her channel, and she only waited until Kitty was done with school too before they moved to LA together. She never got to worry about a degree, or college, or even getting in.

But Peter did. Peter got it, did a full year of it while still producing content every week for his online audience. “You both dropped out to come to LA,” she guesses and finishes for John. It does make sense.

“That we did. And it was mostly my idea, so of course Rachel blames me for influencing Peter, and keeping him from his brilliant sport career, and all of this. I think it’s easier for her to blame me than to blame Peter, which is fine. We don’t interact nearly enough for it to be a problem, but. Yeah. She doesn’t like me much.”

“That’s stupid,” she comments. Because it really is, in a way. “I don’t know anyone who could force Peter to do something he doesn’t want.”

John’s smile is pleased, if a little shy, before he snorts a laugh and raises an eyebrow. “Well, I do know one person.”

Lara Jean finds herself blushing.

…

Lara Jean’s history with Oregon stops at one or two visits to Portland during tours, and that’s about it. She’s never been anywhere else, especially not somewhere as remotely lost in the middle of nowhere as Greenpoint. Their plane lands in the little hours of the morning, and then Peter rents a car at the airport, and everything is grey and cold outside, having her adjust the scarf around her neck and missing California’s weather already. She can’t remember her life before being able to wear skirts without tights, a life where cardigan were not just a night option.

They drive for two hours before Greenpoint’s town sign welcomes them. It’s a little town like there are so many in the USA, not unlike the one Lara Jean comes from. Houses built in residential areas, a sad little main street, corner shops everywhere, one lone Walmart at the outskirt of town. Try as she might, she can’t picture Peter and Chris and John growing up here. It’s too quiet, too empty. Like they had to compensate with their loud Youtube personalities to fill the void left by the town, like being loud on camera was overcompensating for the quiet of the place.

Peter drives by his old high school, just to show her. There’s a football stadium he says used to be for lacrosse practice too, and this one building where the cafeteria was, where John and he came up with so many ideas for Vines and videos. Lara Jean has seen pictures, Peter-as-a-teenager with his too tall body and too skinny shoulders, John with a stupid haircut, clothes that looked ridiculous. She tries to associate those images to everything she sees around her. But there is so little of Peter in those buildings.

His house is different. Better. There are family pictures everywhere, for one, him and Owen at different periods of their lives, from babies to toddlers to young adults. Boy sneakers still lined up by the door. A few sport trophies on display in the living room, and the fridge packed with Peter’s favourite snacks and those bottles of kombucha nobody else drinks.

His bedroom is the best.

It’s like someone froze time when he was seventeen, its own little millennial bubble. The bed is made, dark blue tartan, but everything else is a rightful mess. An old laptop sits on the desk, next to a mirrorless camera. Posters from overrated movies he’s forced her to watch at least once are on the walls, along with pictures of him and John, him and Owen, and even one of him and Gen that he takes down and throws in the bin. A few books here and there, mostly comics or hard scifi. More trophies than Lara Jean thought possible to win during a high school career. And clothes everywhere, one lone lacrosse stick, soccer and basket balls in the corners.

“This is so you,” she grins as she sits on his bed. It bounces a little.

“How so?” he asks as he drops their overnight bag in a corner and joins her. Kicking his shoes off, he lies down with his back against the wall, pulling at her hand until she lies down against his side.

“All over the place!”

He makes a face and she laughs. Maybe it should be weird, knowing what this bedroom has seen. She’s learnt enough from John and Chris, and sometimes even Peter, to know he only ever dated Gen before he dated her, no one else. This bedroom must have been the witness of many makeout session disguised as homework together, late-night phone calls, date planning. Lara Jean doesn’t want to be weird about it, because it is in the past. Gen’s shadow no longer has the power it once held on them, on her. She doesn’t feel second-best, or second anything. Peter loves her, and it is all that matters.

Still. Still, possessiveness surges through her as she wraps one hand around the collar of his shirt and pulls him toward her. Peter lets out a small noise at the back of his throat but doesn’t complain when she kisses him. Instead, one of his arm circles her waist and, before she knows it, Lara Jean’s back is against the mattress, Peter towering above her. She somehow wonders if this is what it feels like, making out with your high school boyfriend when the parents are not home.

“LJ,” he whispers against her lips, voice already breathless and broken. It’s been months of dating, properly dating, but Lara Jean still loves that rush, the one that comes with the knowledge of the effect she has on him. She hopes it never goes away, how it makes her heart beat faster and her skin warmer to his touch.

His hand sneaks under her skin, fingers splayed against the small of her back and bringing a shiver down her spine. She arches to be closer to him, mouth opening in a wordless gasp when his mouth find the pulsing point on her neck. That is new territory, after months of her being afraid of physical intimacy. She was so scared before, but she can’t remember why when only a touch of his hands or a kiss down her jaw lights her entire body on fire.

“I’ve been dreaming about this,” he admits with a chuckles as he noses at her collarbone.

She laughs too, and it comes out ragged and breathy. “Really?”

He nods, and lets his teeth graze against her skin.

Downstairs, a door slams.

They both startle

“Peter? Are you home?”

“Fuck.”

He lets go of her quickly and sits up. She does the same, fixing her top then her dress, carding her fingers through her hair so she can pull it up into a decent ponytail. There is no hiding the disaster that is Peter’s hair though, not when he’s been growing it out a bit and it’s now a mess of curls going in every direction. It’s hard to tame it, or at least make it look like Lara Jean didn’t just spend ten minutes destroying it with her fingers.

There is nothing to be done about their red cheeks, or the bulge in Peter’s pants, either.

“Hey, mom!” he calls back loudly. “Down in a second!”

He doesn’t meet Lara Jean’s eyes, but the way he tightens his lips is very telling; he’s trying hard not to laugh at the situation. So Lara Jean slaps his shoulder, faking affront and not-so-faking embarrassment, which truly makes him laugh. He’s already up, checking his reflexion in the mirror on his wardrobe, when Lara Jean tries to fix her tights and to ignore the warmth pooling deep in her stomach. That will have to wait.

“Ready?” he asks softly, after another attempt at fixing his hair.

“To meet your mom after a hardcore makeout session? Sure!”

He laughs once more and leans down to kiss her, hard and fast, which does nothing to help her forget how wet she already was from his kisses alone. Not exactly the right mindset for when you are about to meet your boyfriend’s mother, and her cheeks turn a deeper shade of crimson.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. She loves you already.”

That she does.

Rachel is nothing short of amazing as she coos over how pretty Lara Jean is, or how nice it was of her to bring a fresh batch of macadamia nut and white chocolate cookies, or how excited she is to finally meet one of Peter’s girlfriends. Lara Jean raises a eyebrow his way at that comment, but fills it in her ‘for later’ box. It probably shouldn’t thrill her that much, to know Gen and Mrs Kavinsky didn’t have much of a relationship, but it does. She isn’t even the slightest bit ashamed of how competitive she is, when it comes to being a more important girlfriend than Gen. Probably because she wins every round.

“It’s so sad Owen couldn’t come back for the weekend. I feel like I never get to see the both of you at the same time anymore.”

Peter rolls his eyes behind his mother’s back, but there is nothing short of fondness in the motion, before he grabs a bottle of apple juice in the fridge and pours them all drinks. “You saw us both at Christmas, mom. It was like, five months ago.”

“An eternity,” she comments. Then, turning to Lara Jean, “How do your parent cope with you being so far from them?”

She tenses, just a little, but enough for Peter to notice. He winces visibly. “Mom, I told you LJ’s mom passed away. It’s only her dad now.”

His mother lets out a little ‘oh’ of surprise, but Lara Jean cuts her off before she can even think of offering an empty apology. She is used to those by now, after all. “Actually, our mother wanted us to leave the nest and live our best lives. My older sister went to uni in Scotland, so LA is right next door for my father, in comparison.”

“And you guys facetime all the time. Which we do too, mom, if you remember!”

“Still,” his mother sighs, moving closer to him so she can wrap one arm around his shoulders. She’s almost as tall as Peter is. “You could visit more often.”

He kisses her cheek. “I will, I promise.”

…

Dinner is a quiet affair of homemade lasagna followed by bowls of ice cream in front of the television. Mrs Kavinsky doesn’t do the embarrassing thing with the family albums, but she does offer her fair share of embarrassing childhood stories that have Lara Jean laughing and Peter blushing.

They both offer to take care of the dishes, and work in comfortable silence side by side, the same way they do after a night in at Lara Jean’s. Everything is so peaceful and quiet, she understands how it makes for a lovely place to raise up children.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” he tells her once all the dirty dishes are either in the dishwasher or cleaned and put away. “I told her about your mom but…”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” She sits on the kitchen island, and smiles when Peter puts his hands on her knees to pull them apart and stand between her legs. He smiles too, and they stay like this for a while, forehead against forehead, silent and loving. Which of course means Lara Jean has to ruin it. “You never told me what happened with your dad.”

Peter sucks in a breath. “They got a divorce when I was six. Owen was just a baby back then. As far as I know, he’s got a brand new family now. It’s like, whatever.”

Her fingers find his jaw, nails scratching against his late-evening shadow. He closes his eyes and leans against her touch. “We don’t have to talk about it, but it’s not whatever.”

He smiles, his hands grabbing her hips a little too possessively. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“It’s always worth a repeat.”

#covinsky #covinsky fanfic #covinsky ff #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

Text

life behind the camera (2)

also on ao3 + main instalment + outtakes

He doesn’t know how long they stay in the hot tub, loses track of time when Lara Jean’s mouth is on his. Might be minutes or hours, not that it matters much when he can wrap his arms around her and pull her in his lap, taste her mouth, thread his fingers through her hair. They kiss and giggle and kiss some more, whispering sweet nothings when their mouth aren’t otherwise busy. After weeks of pinning and frustration, it feels like heaven.

And then Lara Jean starts shivering, cold winter wind against her wet skin, until her teeth are shattering. She pulls him closer, as if it would help.

“Let’s go back inside,” he whispers to her.

She whines a little when he lets go of her and he knows that sound will follow him through his dreams for weeks to come. But he doesn’t let himself think about it too much as he jumps out of the hot tub to grab big fluffy towels inside and comes back jogging. He wraps her in one of the towels, a perfect little LJ burrito that he kisses on the nose until she giggles.

Then he’s pulling her inside, one arm around her shoulders to keep her close and share body heat at the same time.

They must have been in the hot tub for longer than he thought at first, because the entire cabin is silent, fire dying slowly in the fireplace and mugs of hot cocoa discarded on a table.

Peter leads LJ to his bedroom, but she tenses a little when they stop at the door, her eyes widening as she avoids his gaze.

“Just sleeping,” he reassures her. “Or cuddling. Whatever.”

“Taking it slow,” she confirms.

He doesn’t mind. He’s waited weeks for this moment. He will enjoy whatever LJ is ready to offer, glad and grateful that his feelings are finally returned, happy for his love not to be unrequited anymore. He could wait months for more than that, and be perfectly fine with it.

What he isn’t fine with is John’s shit-eating grin when he opens the door. “I’ll find somewhere else to sleep,” he simply comments as he stands up from one of the two beds in the room. He doesn’t say the I told you so, but the look he offers Peter as he leaves the room is pretty telling on his own.

Even LJ, queen of being clueless, notices. “He knew?”

“About the contract or about my feelings? Because yes to both.”

Her face does that scrunchie cute thing he loves so much, and it’s hard not to lean down and kiss her from how adorable she is. Until he remembers he doesn’t have to stop himself anymore, the no-kissing rule definitely is off the table, and so he does just that. Kiss her. And again, and once more, until she giggles against his lips and he swallows the sound. It’s already his new favourite activity. Fuck Youtube, that’s what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

“I may have told Lucas everything tonight,” she confesses once they stop for breath. She’s still pressing her forehead against his though, him leaning down and her on her tiptoes. Fucking best.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I mean…”

He doesn’t need to finish his sentence for the both of them to understand what he means -- Chris and Gabe will need to be told too, at some point. It’s a small miracle they went on with the contract for so long and only John guessed that something was off. Perhaps because they were so good at pretending, until they were not pretending at all.

The thought makes his heart race.

“Later,” she agrees with a small nod.

Later, when they will not be busy kissing and moving to the bed, and cuddling and kissing again. It’s well into the night when Peter takes his iPad out to watch The Golden Girls, and that’s how LJ falls asleep -- in his arms, completely at peace.

...

“I’m too old for this,” Lucas groans as he sits in one of the couches.

Chris follows suite, sitting by his side before she leans forward to grab Veronica’s hand and pulls her on her lap. Her girlfriend does as she’s told, not without a roll of the eyes. “You’re only twenty-six,” the gamer girl points out.

“It’s ancient in Youtuber years,” John laughs from his spot in the only armchair. Sitting casually, one ankle on a knee, he looks like the king of the internet. Which he might be, What with his newly-celebrated ten million subscribers.

Peter shares another couch with LJ, as he sits with his back to the armrest with her between his legs, her back to his torso. She’s wrapped in a powder blue sweater from Veronica’s new merch line, her recently-cut hair brushing against his cheek every time she moves her head. Her fingers laced with his on her stomach, and he’s the happiest of men, exhaustion from Vidcon be damned.

It’s been a hell of a two months, what with their tour followed by the convention, but it’s the good kind of tired, the one that settles deep in your bones and leads to long and well-deserved hours of sleep. Soon it will all over and they will go back to LA, to the house, to their routine of vlogs and editing. But, for now, Peter enjoys the life on the road with his friends, the closest thing he’ll ever get to being a rock star.

Well. Maybe it would be one step closer to being a rock star if they were actually partying. But, as it is, Lucas isn’t entirely wrong. The craziness of the past few weeks is finally catching up with all of them and, where they would party like there’s no tomorrow any other year, this year they are just chilling in their penthouse suite with their friends. Veronica, of course, now officially member of the Kavinsquad, and Simon and Bram, Dimple. A viewer’s wet dream, yet all they’re doing is chill and eat nachos.

“I met an eight-year old fan today,” Simon agrees. “SimonSays shirt and hoodie and baseball cap and everything. Eight! Young enough to be my daughter!”

Bram puts his hand on his boyfriend’s thigh, a faux serious expression on his face. “Babe, I didn’t know how to tell you…”

Everyone bursts into laughter at Simon’s dramatic face, even more so when he throws a tortilla chip at Bram, who catches it in his mouth. It’s all those little things that have Peter remember that enjoying yourself with your friends doesn’t have to always involve loud music, tons of alcohol and fuzzy memories. It can be just as simple as good moments with Hozier playing in the background.

LJ is getting sleepy in his arms, snuggling a little more into his neck, so he shakes her slightly to keep her awake. Leaning closer to her ear, he whispers, “Let’s go outside,” to which she nods a little.

She’s all mellow and sleepy as he pulls her up and into his arms, guiding her toward the door. John shares a meaningful look with Peter that does nothing beside set his stomach into knots of anxiety as he leads LJ down the corridor and toward the lifts.

She doesn’t protest until they make their way to the roof terrasse, and then she forgets to protest altogether. The fresh air finishes waking her up properly, and she gasps a little at the view offered to her. The whole city shines in the night, brights colourful lights that paint a gorgeous picture.

She leans against the railway, and Peter steps behind her to hug her, arms wrapped around her waist and chin on her shoulder. That’s the only downside of the past few weeks; they’ve barely managed to get a moment to themselves, away from the others. He’s all but moved into her house at this point, enjoying the intimacy of a place he doesn’t share with his best friends, relishing in having LJ all to himself now that Kitty has switched places with him.

“Can you believe it’s been two years?” she sighs wistfully.

So much has happened in only two years that sometimes Peter barely even remembers who he was before LJ entered his life. He sure can’t imagine a life without her now, when she’s everything, everywhere – the first face he sees in the morning, the first person he turns to when he has a doubt about a video, his last kiss before falling asleep.

“It feels like an eternity.” She complains a little under her breath, for the heck of it, so he leans over her shoulder to kiss her cheek. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.”

She does that thing she always does when he really touches her, that soft ‘oh Pete’ that is just for him but that has also generated thousands of comments on their videos. Lucas even says it’s their main ship tag on tumblr, whatever that means.

“Not even for fruitcake cookies?” she teases him gently. He doesn’t need to see her face to picture the amused smile on her lips.

“Not even… I mean, maybe one thing.”

He feels her confusion, even more so when he puts his hands on her hips as to turn her around so she’s now facing him. Her cheeks are red from the cold and the excitement of the day alike, her hair a mess, her eyes dark. She’s so beautiful, and she’s all his.

“We’ve been off-contract for over a year and a half now but… what if we signed a new one?”

Her face scrunches up, so very obviously confused at his words now, that she barely reacts when he takes a step back and reaches inside his sweater’s pocket. There’s a good ten seconds of nothing between the moment he drops to his knee and the moment LJ reacts, the longest seconds of his life. Just stunned silence, one hand against her mouth as she stares at him with the wildest, most surprised eyes ever.

Eyes that are quickly filled with tears then, when he opens the velvet box in his hands. John and he took hours picking it, something pretty yet small and discreet, something shiny but not too in-your-face. It looks perfectly her, like it was made with Lara Jean Covey in mind and nobody else.

“Lara Jean, babe… Remember last summer, when Kitty and your grandma were trying to teach me some Korean, and they explained the concept on ‘jeong’ to me? To be honest, I’m still not sure I completely understand…” She lets out a wet giggle than makes him smile in return, a huff of breath through the nose before he goes on, “but I think what we have is as close to ‘jeong’ as it gets. You’re my person, and you’ll always be my person. And I know how scared you must be right now. Truth is I’m terrified. But I want you to know you’ll never lose me. Ever. Because I love you, and I will always love you, and I want to be by your side for as long as you’ll have me. So, what do you say?”

She’s full on crying now, big tears rolling down her cheeks, so Peter stands back up to cup her face and hold her close. Her body is shivering with her sobs, but she’s laughing too, and for a moment there he’s afraid he lost her for real.

“You want to marry me?” she asks in between two hiccups.

She’s so fucking adorable, he can’t help but pull her into a hug and kiss the side of her face. “Yeah, even got a ring and stuff.”

Hysterical sobs turn to hysterical giggles right there, and he can’t help but laugh too. And hold her tighter. And kiss the side of her head again.

He’s the one to lose it when she says, “There’s no camera.”

“No, baby girl. Just us.”

“T’would have gotten so many views.”

He barks a laugh at the unexpected statement, at her mindset and how much she’s changed through those two years together. She used to frown at the blatant clickbait in his videos, and now she thinks about it during one of the most important moments of their life. Only Lara Jean…

“I don’t care about the views. I just care about you.”

She’s laugh-crying again, wet nose pressed to his collarbone when she whispers a small “Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, Peter. Of course. Yes!”

He might be laugh-crying too.

#covinsky #covinsky fanfic #covinsky ff #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: do it for the views #REBLOG IF YOU CRIED

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truthofherdreams · 6 years

Text

please don’t stop the music

also on ao3

The following day, Lara Jean quite literally has to drag Chris out of bed so they are not late to the activities fair. Gen wants them to be at their stand two hours early, which is a bit much for what is only a glorified table and a bunch of flyers, if you want Lara Jean’s opinion. But of course Gen doesn’t want her opinion, so Lara Jean forces Chris to get up and get dressed, before her new friend zombies her way to the food hall and inhales more coffee than is probably healthy so early in the morning.

“Not a morning person, huh?” Lara Jean teases her around a mouthful of pancake.

The food hall has waffles too, but it feels too much of a treat. At home it is, because taking out the waffle maker and cleaning it afterward is too much of a hassle for everyday-breakfast, and so Lara Jean doesn’t step away from habits drilled into her since childhood.

Chris points at her own face, not without difficulty. “Not even a person at that point,” she replies in a grumble, before she takes another cup of coffee. She’s having a grand total of one chocolate cookie with that, and Lara Jean has no idea how she’ll survive until lunch.

She will probably have to start sneaking energy bars in her new friend’s pockets, just in case. But for now she settles on enjoying her breakfast and, as Chris is otherwise preoccupied, on checking her Instagram account. Margot posted stories when she was asleep, she and her boyfriend Ravi going out to some welcome-back party in Scotland, followed a few hours later by the picture of a single cup of tea and a gif of a sleepy cat. Kitty had a sleepover at a friend’s, and binged Games of Thrones, which isn’t worrying at all. Josh just arrived on campus; Lara Jean tries not to think about it too much.

And p_kavinsky is now following her.

She elects to ignore that, too.

By some kind of miracle, Chris find it in her to down two more expressos, which isn’t all that smart but manages to make her look a little more alive. And a lot more fidgety. Lara Jean has to steer her clear from the coffee machine, not to make matter worth. She has no idea how they make it to the grounds and the activities fair, but somehow they do. Another one of those miracles, without a doubt.

Gen is, quite obviously, already there and their stand is, quite obviously, just as sad as Lara Jean imagined it would be. Gen is piling up flyers on their table, and some kind of banderole is still rolled up at their feet. With more than a few hours notice, Lara Jean could have baked cupcakes or brownies to lull people into talking to them and taking an interest in the acapella group. But, as it is, she just teams up with Chris to put the banderole up, then to stick some pictures from past concerts and events under it. Gen has her laptop opened now, showing videos of different songs the group has been performing in the past.

Lara Jean has to admit it looks more legit than she thought at first and so, when they’re done, she snaps a picture of the stand and sends it to Margot. To show her sister she’s putting herself up there and trying new things, instead of just hiding behind her blankets with a book. If Margot’s replying message of three thumbs up is anything to go by, she made the right choice.

Morning is a bit slow, probably because people are still moving in and finding their bearings. A girl called Allie, with beautiful brown skin and long hair, joins them soon enough, and then Emily (Gen’s friend, as lovely as she is) and Pammy, whose face has so many freckles Lara Jean finds herself staring a little.

Chris introduces her to both Allie and Pammy, while the other two girls stand to the side and ignore them. It’s fine with Lara Jean, really, and soon the four of them find themselves playing a ruthless game of blind test with Allie’s phone. Chris is better at this than could be expected in her state, faster than all the other girls combined and proud in each of their wins. They switch to a party of Heads Up! When she proves unbeatable, until Pammy decides to spice it up a little bit, with a song association game. Give one word, find a song with that world as quickly as possible.

They are mostly messing around and having fun, but their singing actually turn heads once people start trickling by. Some even stop by, getting the force of Gen’s speech the moment they seem more interested than curious. A couple of girls even take a flyer, nodding and smiling, but Lara Jean is too busy having fun with her new friends to really notice how popular their stand really is.

“Popsicle!” Allie throws in their next round.

The song pops into Lara Jean’s mind immediately -- too many months of Margot obsessed with musicals, all types of musicals, for her not to know that one. Still, she hesitates. The song is powerful, more powerful than her voice can probably managed. She bites down on her lip, anxious, until Chris nudges her leg with the tip of her combat boot.

She raises her eyebrows at Lara Jean, teasing and challenging all at once.

Lara Jean straightens her back even as she takes a deep breath. “Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Popsicle,” she starts, her voice more confident than she feels.

Chris swallows back a grin, her voice flat. “My dear father.”

“There’s been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz,” they go on at the same time, managing to harmonise rather nicely despite never having done so before.

Chris seems impressed too, even if her voice turns into a small laugh as Lara Jean quickly grabs her phone and looks up the lyrics. She might know the song but -- she’s not entirely well-versed in all the lyrics, so a bit of help is always nice. They go through the lines easily -- too easily, perhaps.

“There's been some confusion, for you see, my roomate is…”

Lara Jean rolls her eyes theatrically as she adds, in a voice that is not entirely hers, more high-pitched than she really is comfortable, “Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…”

“Blonde,” Chris states in a deadpan voice, swatting Lara Jean’s hair in the process.

They both laugh a little, which makes for a shaky few lines. Not that it matters much, when they’re having so much fun. It’s not really about the quality of their voices, more about this moment they are sharing, Chris looking at the lyrics above her shoulder and grinning like a madwoman, Lara Jean forgetting about her fear of the spotlight.

People do stop and stare, and listen. She can feel their eyes on her even as she jumps into the chorus with Chris, and to her feet. Chris grabs her hand even as she sings about how much she loathes Lara Jean, and the effect is lost on how much the both of them are giggling.

Allie and Pammy provide the background singing for them, Pammy now having her phone opened on the lyrics too. Even Gen has stopped talking to look at them -- Lara Jean chances a glance her way, and the blonde’s eyes are unreadable. Like she is puzzled, upset at them stealing the attention away from her, and delightfully surprised all at once.

“What is this feeling, so sudden and new? I felt the moment I led my eyes on you…”

A crowd has gathered around them now. Lara Jean’s heart is racing. Adrenaline. Fear. Unadulterated joy. She grins, and laughs, and sings. Damn, does she sings.

“Truly, deeply loathing, my whole life long!”

Chris gets into her face to scream a ‘Boo!’ and Lara Jean’s answering shriek of fake surprise is swallowed by the applause around them. One boy is whistling. Gen is already yelling about whoever might be interested to join their group. Emily shoves flyers into people’s face.

And there, behind the crowd, is Peter staring right at Lara Jean. Even with Chris’ arm thrown around her shoulders, the both of them laughing together, Lara Jean feels his eyes on her and turns her head toward him. Her laugh dies on her tongue when he smiles at her -- that full-face smile, with the scrunching nose and everything -- and holds his can of coke up as a silent toast.

Chris notices, because of course she does, her eyes travelling between Lara Jean and Peter before the slightest of frowns settles between her brows. “You know Peter?” she asks, her voice soft enough for the alarm bells in Lara Jean’s head to start chiming.

“Yeah, he’s an old friend. How do you know him?”

Chris evens her with A Look, capital letters and all. “He’s Gen’s Peter,” is all she needs to say for a stone to drop in Lara Jean’s stomac, right at the bottom. “I mean, he was Gen’s, they broke up, but...”

She remembers yesterday’s awkward conversation with Gen, the certainty in her voice when she declares than her boyfriend and she were still together. “He still belongs to her,” Lara Jean finishes for her friend, though she has no idea why she’s disappointed.

It’s not as if she wanted to date Peter, or anything. Sure, reuniting with him after all those years yesterday was nice, and they had a pleasant chat after the initial accident was put behind. He even made her laugh once or twice, and grinned every time she stifled a giggle behind her hand. And it was nice, getting to know Peter K again. Nice, but different. Unexpected.

Lara Jean hadn’t thought past meeting with him once in a while, to grab coffee and chat. But it seems her subconscious had other ideas, now crushed under the heel of Gen’s ugly Uggs. It’s okay, though. She had a crush on him once, and she got over him. It won’t be hard to do the same again now, especially since it’s barely even a crush. Just… an interest.

“It’s fine,” she says out loud. To Chris or to herself, she doesn’t know. “He’s not my type anyway.”

Chris’ laugh is sarcastic at best. And loud, too loud. “Excuse me? Dude, I’m a lesbian but even I find him cute. Like, come on…”

Lara Jean purses her lips and shakes her head, a little too manically, until Chris drops it. She unwraps her arm from around Lara Jean’s shoulders to take a few steps back. She doesn’t say anything, but she points two fingers at her eyes, then at Lara Jean’s, then at hers again. Lara Jean rolls her eyes, but smiles.

“Yeah, sure,” Chris comments. “Okay, come, let’s steal some food from the queer club, I’m starving.”

Lara Jean follows, not without one last glance above her shoulder.

Peter is long gone.

#covinsky #covinsky ff #covinsky fanfic #to all the boys I've loved before #fanfic #ff: tatbilb #ff: please don’t stop the music

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