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butididntpourthewhiskeys · 9 months

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Joe opens the door, is welcomed by the smell of Indian spices as well as his girlfriends favorite sandalwood candle. A soft smile spreads across his face. He’s home. Finally.

Just when he was about to drop his bags immediately, his dog comes running up to him and lets him know with a wagging tail that his arrival excites him just as much as him. The blonde man crouches down, pats Kennel’s head a few times before getting up again. With his sweatpants and sneakers, he casually makes his way to kitchen. The lights of the apartment are dimmed and the low sounds of Paul Simon’s acoustic album is filling the house. When he arrives in the kitchen, a slight feeling of disappointment rushes over him. There are boiling cookingpots but she’s not there. With a touch of confusion on his face, he makes his way into the spacious living room while having his dog follow him all along the way. Suddenly, he hears fast steps coming from the stairs. He turns around and the biggest smile possible spreads across his face.

„Baby, you’re here.“ she exclaims and rushes down the steps. He feels his heart beating ten times fast than before. She looks incredible. She always looks incredible but he can see that she clearly dressed up. A tight and black leather jeans with a white croptop and and a pair of red heels are something she usually doesn’t wear around the house. As soon as she falls into his arms, he can’t think about anything anymore but the fact that he has missed her. So bad. He presses his face into her neck, breathes her in and holds her as tight as possible while standing in the doorway. He can feel how she holds onto him. How she doesn’t want to lose any proximity.

„Missed you so much.“ is the only thing he hears her mumble into his shoulder. She takes a deep breath than slowly pulls back and looks at him. Joe still holds her tightly against her.

„Missed you more, love. Trust me.“ he says, can’t believe it has been three weeks. It was a torture. Waking up and not having her by his side. Not feeling her fall asleep next to him. Not seeing this beautiful face in real life. Not being able to touch and feel her. Joe pulls closer to give her a kiss. To his surprise she slowly turns her head to the side so that his lips land on her cheek. He smiles a little confused, tries not to interpret too much into the last three seconds.

„How was your flight?“ she asks him happily, presses another kiss onto his cheek before letting him go.

„Alright. Had something to look forward to at home. That was nice.“ he smiles at her. Taylor grabs his hand and slowly leads him into the kitchen.

„Oh and you definitely had something to look forward to because your incredibly good looking girlfriend has just made you your favorite dinner.“ she says and casually walks up to the stove to open up one of the pots.

„Oh baby, thanks. You didn’t have to..“

„But I wanted to.“ she smiles and grabs a plate. Without any further blabbering, she starts to fill his plate with the freshly made food. Joe just remains next to her, places a hand on her back to rub her skin under the short white shirt softly. Something is up. He can feel it in the air. She’s usually the most affectionate and talkative person in the world as soon as one of them comes home to their apartment after not being able to see each other for more than a few days. But all she does now is hiding her silence behind a cooked meal to not have to look at him. And a kiss is something he’d love to give her also, especially after three way too long weeks.

„Do you want to eat here or in the..“

„You’re not eating with me?“ he asks, has clearly noticed that there’s only one plate in her hand. She looks up at him and shakes her head. „No, I already ate something. Not hungry right now.“ she says and walks into the living room to place his plate with the cutlery on the coffee table. The entire room is lit with candles and small lamps that give the place a calming and relaxing atmosphere. Just what he needs after days of filming.

He observes how she falls onto the sofa, pats the spot next to her one time to signal him that he should sit down next to her. Joe falls back next to her. His hand lands on her knee and he looks at her. She’s too quiet for his taste. Way too quiet.

„Baby?“

„Yeah? Eat before it gets cold.“ she answers distractedly.

„Can I have a proper kiss now?“ he asks in his thick British accent.

He can feel her hesitating at first. Then she smiles softly, places a hand on his cheek and gives him a small kiss. Joe still looks a bit confused. She really does act a bit weird tonight.

„You sure you don’t want anything, love?“ he asks and starts eating. "It tastes amazing.”

She casually sits on the couch next to him, her feet underneath her butt and her head resting on her arm that is casually placed on the cushion. She looks at him eating the food and she smiles. It’s the best feeling in the world to have him sitting next to her. Settled and relaxed. This is her safe place.

„No thanks, I’m good baby.“ she says and cuddles her head onto his arm. Joe looks down to her.

„What’s up?“ he asks carefully. His voice calm and soft while talking to her. As always.

„Nothing. I’m just so glad you’re home.“ she says and then looks up to him again. It might be relatively dark in the room but he can still see that something is different. She might be saying the sweetest things into his face yet she behaves reserved. Joe places the plate full of incredibly delicious food on the coffee table and leans back to look at her.

„Are you..“

„I’m gonna be right back, okay?“ she interrupts and gets up from the couch. She walks out of the room and disappears. Joe remains where he was, is absolutely confused now. Is she mad at him for something? Did something happen and she doesn’t want to tell him? He sighs quickly, then notices Kennel walking up to him. Joe reaches for his head and strokes the Husky softly.

„Do you know what’s wrong with Mumma, mate? Mhm?“ he whispers to the dog but gets only a disinterested stare as an answer. After a few minutes, he hears a door closing and seconds later his girlfriend walks back into the room to sit down next to him again.

„Sorry, babe. You wanted to say something?“ she asks again, a little out of breath. He just looks at her, tries to observe what it is that’s different. She’s got pretty strong make- up on, doesn’t seem down or anything.

„I wanted to ask why you’re so.. absent?“ he asks carefully. „Are you sure you’re okay? Did something happen? Y’can tell me anything. Know that, right?“ he asks, places his hand on her arm. She just smiles softly and nods.

„Everything is fine, really. I..“ she suddenly stops. Joe looks at her rather confused. He notices her taking a deep breath and then looking at him again. This time with a different look on her face. She looks desperate. Almost devastated.

„To be honest, I.. no. I’m not okay, I just..“

Joe suddenly feels panic rising up inside of him. She seems to open up just now and he has never experienced her like this. She almost seems like she’s about to start crying now, breaths nervously and runs her hand through her curly hair.

„Tell me, baby. Whatever it is.“ he says, has now turned himself fully to her. He grabs her hand, realizes just now how cold and sweaty she is.

„This is so embarrassing. I.. I was so looking forward to you coming home and.. and me being here and I was counting the days and hours to finally be here with you again and.. and feel you again.. and touch you..“ she blabbers with a shaky voice, still on the verge of crying. Joe listens carefully to her yet has no idea what she’s gonna tell him next.

„And I just wanted to spend the most amazing weekend with you here, at home, but..“

„But?“ he asks again, still holds her small and cold hands in his while drawing soft circles onto her skin with his thumb. She seems absolutely exhausted and frantic at the same time.

„But I’m sick and my stomach is trying to kill me and I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes because I’m puking like a monster and I have cold sweat all over my body and.. I’m so disgusting. I didn’t want you to see me like this so I tried to..“ She can’t even finish speaking because Joe immediately pulls her into a tight hug. He could’ve guessed that her being sick was the reason behind her weird behavior. Firstly, the massive amount of make up on her face, and then the fact that she didn’t want to kiss him.

„Oh baby, I’m so sorry.“ he says empathetically and slowly lets go off her. He can see that she truly suffers, almost has tears in her eyes while sitting in front of him with a sunken head. He feels sorry for her yet can’t help but smile a bit. She really wanted to look perfect for him, even made the effort to cook him food and dress up for him. He casually grabs a strand of blonde curls and wraps them behind her ear before kissing her hot forehead for a long time.

„Why didn’t you tell me?“ he asks then and she slowly looks up.

„I don’t know. I’ve never been sick like this in front of any boyfriend and.. It’s so embarrassing. I’m disgusting. You shouldn’t see me like this.“ she says with a shaky voice and avoids his eye contact. Joe can’t believe she’s so embarrassed in front of him.

„Baby, I love you. I want to be here for you, no matter what. You’re not disgusting. Not at all. I’m just a bit offended that you tried to fake it. Didn’t have to, you know?“ he says calm and patiently, his hand still running through her hair. She still doesn’t look at him, just sighs. Joe knows exactly where this is coming from. This is the result of someone who has tried desperately to make boyfriends happy, to always be the flawless and easy- going girlfriend. She was always well aware that her life in the public eye isn’t easy for potential boyfriends, which is why she tried to at least be the perfect girlfriend when it comes to the very private Taylor. She wants to be perfect. She wants to do everything right to make him happy. The food. The candles. Her outfit. He knows how insecure she still is sometimes when it comes to letting her walls fall down. But he wants her to know that he loves her, no matter what. Sick and healthy. Public and private. She should learn to trust him with that. Trust him with her. She doesn’t have to be perfect to be perfect for him. She already is.

„You have exhausting weeks of filming behind you and I.. I just wanted you to enjoy tonight with me and now you can’t even..“

„Shhh. None of that.“ he interrupts her and presses his lips against her head once more. Then he lets go off her and gets up. Taylor looks at him a little confused, as Joe already grabs her and starts to carry her out of the room. She can’t help but smile at him a little while being held in his strong arms.

„What are you doing?“ she asks, feels him carry her upstairs.

„Getting you to bed.“ he answers and she lets her head fall onto his shoulder. She feels horrible. Absolutely horrible.

„And there, I will stay with you as long as you need me. No matter how sick you are, no matter how many times you have to puke. And I will cuddle you the entire night, no matter how much your sweating, until you know that I love spending time with you when you’re healthy and when you’re sick.“ he says bossy and softly places her on her side of the bed. He then turns on the little night lamp on her side and looks at her. She can’t help but smile softly. He really is an angel.

„Are you sure?“ she asks with her head on the pillow. She’s too exhausted to sit up. A hand now on her stomach while looking at him a bit insecure.

„You think I’m leaving now? Because you’re sick?“ he asks ironically yet absolutely shocked. How bad did someone treat her in the past to make her as fearful as she is now? The thought alone hurts him deeply. The thought of her being left alone when she needed someone the most.

„Baby, It’s.. it’s really bad.“ she mumbles, the insecurity written all over her face.

„I don’t care how bad it is. I’m here now. I’m not going. End of the story.“ he says, as Taylor’s belly suddenly starts rumbling badly. She chokes one time, then sits up. He can see her face and how much she suffers. Joe hates to see her sick like this. He carefully places his hand on her belly.

„Does it hurt? Or just nausea?“ he asks quietly, but Taylor doesn’t answer him, gets up quickly and rushes into the bathroom. She closes the door behind her and seconds later, he can hear her gagging. Joe sighs. She really is sick and he feels horrible for her. A stomach bug is the worst thing in the world. Joe slowly walks up to the bathroom door. He can hear that her puking has stopped.

„Baby? Can I come in?“ he asks carefully.

The next thing he hears is water running. Then, slowly, the door opens. She has tears in her eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just quickly wraps her up in his arms.

„m’ so sorry.“ is all she mumbles. Joe lets go and kisses her face. Her cheek, her nose, her forehead.

„Apologize one more time and watch me get so mad.“ he just says and looks at her empathetically. She doesn’t say anything, just stand there in the door frame like a sick little child.

„Why don’t you take off all that.. make-up and then come and cuddle with me in bed, mhm?“ he asks and Taylor nods thankfully.

„Sounds great.“ she mumbles with a shaky voice before receiving another kiss on her cheek.

„You want me to make you some tea? Or a hot- water bottle?“ he asks but she shakes her head.

„No, just..“

„What?“ he asks, would do anything tonight to make her feel better.

„Can I wear one of your shirts? The one’s I have now all smell like me and just.. smelling you everywhere is helping me fall asleep always, so..“

Joe smiles and nods.

„Of course, baby. Now get all that unnecessary color from your face and come to bed with me.“ he comforts her and receives a tired smile from her before watching her go back to the bathroom.

As soon as Taylor walks up to him again, she can’t help but smile at what she sees right in front of her. Joe, who has turned on the flat screen TV on the wall in front of the bed, casually lays on his side while leaning his head against the cushions. There is a spit bucket and a bottle of spring water next to her bed. As soon as he sees her standing in the dooframe, he holds up a shirt and a sweater.

„You said you had cold sweat all over you, so how about you wear both first and take off the hoodie as soon as you’re too hot, mhm? Both exclusive Joseph Alwyn Everyday Wear.“ he jokes and Taylor feels her heart melting. She walks up to him and grabs his clothes from him.

„Sounds perfect.“ is all she can say before taking off her top while walking to her side of the bed. Joe watches her take off her bra and he can’t help but stare like a little boy. She notices him, looks at him with a smirk on her face before putting on his shirt and sweater.

„What?“ she asks, a mischievous smile on her face.

„Nothing. Just missed these two friends as well.“ he jokes as she takes off her pants and crawls into bed with him. She cuddles herself under the blanket and places her head on his chest. She takes a deep breath and feels his hands holding her tight.

„I’ve been waiting the whole day for this.“ she says more than exhausted while laying in his arms.

„You’re silly.“ he just says while watching TV with her. „Being sick is normal. No reason to hide it from me.“ He says again before kissing her head once more.

„I know but.. I just.. I don’t want things to change.“

Joe can’t help but laugh a little. „Change? You think I’ll break up with you because you’re sick?“ he asks again, can’t believe she has irrational fears like these.

„No, but.. there’s a difference between being sick and being sick like this. There’s no way you’ll want to sleep with me after seeing me puke and sweat and..“

„Just wait and see. The No Make up Tay is a turn on for me, you know that. So.. chances are high that we will, in fact, still have great sex after tonight.“ he smirks. Taylor looks up at him and his grin makes her smile a little bit too. When he kisses her lips one quick time and pulls back, she feels everything inside her become more emotional than before. It’s in his eyes. He’s not lying.

„Since when is your tummy going crazy like this? I really think you have a fever.“ he frowns, observes her face a little. She sighs and lets her head fall onto the pillow. She places a hand on her tummy, right under his shirt and sweater while looking at him.

„It started this morning. I thought it was food poisoning at first but.. everything should be out by now, so I think its just a bug.“ she says. Joe casually places his big hand on her tummy under the shirt and kisses her naked belly one time. Then, he puts his hand right back onto her skin while massaging her carefully. Taylor loves his tender touch. He is so careful, never uses too much pressure to make her feel worse but finds the right amount of circling his hands to make her feel good. She smiles softly.

„That feels nice.“ she whispers.

„S’that better?“

Taylor nods before closing her eyes. Joe couldn’t be less interested in the TV, both eyes fixed on the sick beauty next to him.

„Are you having cramps?“ he asks and she nods.

„My poor love.“ he whispers before kissing the flesh on her stomach once more. Taylor just opens her eyes and turns her head to face him. She can’t help but think about how stupid she was. Thinking that she’d disgust him away or make him angry by not having sex tonight. She should’ve trusted the voice inside her heart that told her that he loves her, no matter what. But instead, she believed her head. Her head that was telling her that she makes everything complicated. That their relationship has to remain exciting and.. sexy. How stupid to think that this is what this thing between them really is about. The truth is, she knows that there is something deeper between them. Something that does not depend on bodily attraction and easiness. Joe has become her best friend. He’s the only person out of all her friends who always gets her. Who always takes her side and who would never reject or disappoint her. She’s uncertain about so many things in her life but since almost a year, this is the one thing she knows for sure.

„What’s the spit bucket doing here?“ she asks then and the blonde guy next to her raises his head up from her tummy to look at her again.

„Waiting for you?“ he asks, makes both of them laugh. He didn’t quiet get her question because it should be self explanatory why there’s a bin right next to her bed.

„I love how you care for me but I can’t sit in bed and puke right before your eyes. This is our bed where we make love. And it should stay this way.“ she says, a hand in his hair.

„No, baby. This is our bed where we love. And sometimes that includes orgasms and sometimes that means holding your hair while throwing up.“

Taylor looks at him in awe. This is something no man has ever said to her.

„Now, why don’t we try and get some sleep. I’m exhausted.“ he yawns and turns off the TV since none of the two were paying attention anyway. Taylor nods and watches him get up to go to the bathroom. He returns a few minutes later, finds his girlfriend sitting on the edge of the bed while holding close onto the spit bucket. He doesn’t say anything, can feel her tensions. He just sits down next to her, places his hand on her back while holding the bucket for her with the other one.

„It’s okay.“ he calms her. Taylor breathes shaky and nods. „I think it was false alarm.“ she mumbles. Joe slowly takes the empty bin and places it on the floor. He kisses her temple and then tucks her to bed before turning off the light. He wraps his arms around her from behind, immediately feels her hold onto him and kissing the back of his hand.

„Try and get some sleep. And when you feel sick, wake me up. Promise?“ he whispers and she nods.

„Promise.“ she whispers back.

„And don’t feel bad about waking me up, okay?“

„Okay.“ she replies.

„And no more racking your brain about me leaving you or.. thinking you’re disgusting. That’s BS. You know that now. Okay?

„Okay.“ she says.

„Good.“

„Joe?“ she’s now the one to ask him another question before drifting off.

„Mhm?“ he mumbles, both eyes closed already while laying right behind her and feeling her hands holding onto his right before her face. He can feel her warm breath stroking his skin as she speaks. There’s nothing better in the world than falling asleep like this.

„You know that I love you more than anyone ever before, right? I mean.. you know it. Right?“

Joe opens his eyes and remains silent for a few moments. He has never heard her say anything as meaningful as this. He feels truly touched and the biggest amount of happiness overcomes his body. It’s the incredible feeling of knowing that someone feels exactly the same as you do.

He presses is face a little more into her hair and closes his eyes while holding her close.

„I know.“

Thanks for sending this anon ✍️

#fanfiction #writing #taylor swift fanfiction #old #sickness #comfort

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