#congratulations you have unlocked level two of my tragic backstory
Note
After reading your "ultra-long postivity post", now I have kind of a weird feeling because i relate a lot to pretty much everything you said, but i ended up approaching the "not everyone can x" from the opposite side, being the "gifted kid" teachers used to hold everyone to unrealistic standards (that i knew most couldnt achieve in the given timeframes), and now i get frustrated when i dont develop skills immediately, because i have done it before and feel like i should be able to and aaaaaaaaaa
Funny story: when I was a kid my parents had both my sister and I tested for learning and developmental disabilities. This testing included IQ testing.
It identified that we were both “gifted” kids* and that I’m dyslexic.
It totally missed my ADHD, though!
The problem with that is that my parents. Hm.
Okay my parents both grew up in very poor families. VERY poor. And they both wanted to go to college and knew the only way that they could was through scholarships. So they became debaters. They met at a tournament in high school.
Debaters are weird. You need an efficient working memory and strong recall and the ability to think quickly on your feet. Being witty and kind of an asshole are also good traits for debaters. Basically you’ve either gotta be really fuck-off smart to be a competitive debater or you’ve gotta at least *seem* really fuck-off smart.
And my parents were champion debaters at a national level. The Whittier College debate trophy has my mom’s name written directly under Richard goddamn Nixon. My dad was on the USC debate team and competed against Harvard and won. Not only that but he ended up coaching debate for USC and Cal Tech.
So as kids who grew up in extremely poor families and were able to go to college and get middle-class jobs and buy a house because of intellectual ability my parents placed A LOT of importance on intellectual ability.
So that IQ score became a large part of my life.
First we attacked the dyslexia. The approach was basically teaching me a bunch of sight words because sounding out phonics doesn’t work when the letters get screwed up. And because I was *gifted* we did a lot of really BIG sight words.
It took about six months to get me up to speed from “memorizing the pages of a story to match the pictures because I couldn’t read along in class” to “the first book I read on my own was The Hobbit.” I guess that counted as “cured” because that was the last time I got any kind of educational assistance.
At that time I was at a gifted school, a really tiny private school that was also an after-school daycare where we did full-day classes and then did gymnastics and swim from 3-6pm. I also was there over the summer because my parents worked.
So going from “tiny private school where the teacher has you stand up in class to read your failing grade in front of everyone so that she could shame you into performing better” to “fine public school in a suburb wealthy enough to have arts programs” was a major, major change. They did an aptitude test because I was transferring in from a different district and there was much discussion about whether or not to move me directly from the second to the sixth grade.
The district refused, thank fuck.
The public elementary school didn’t *have* a gifted program so it took very little time for me to become the Certified Weird Kid. My third grade teacher had me read aloud to our class for twenty minutes a day. I taught the class the multiplication table.
When it got to be time to go to the junior high school my mom went to a meeting for the school’s gifted kids program. APPARENTLY one of the kid’s dad’s basically said “I don’t understand why you’re wasting school funds on field trips for the stupid kids, the school should spend more of its resources on kids who have a chance of actually meaning something to the world” and my mom decided that while being gifted was important it was less important than making sure I wasn’t exposed to assholes of that caliber on a regular basis.
(thanks mom, I actually do really appreciate that reprieve)
Several teachers pushed me into advanced classes - my math teacher insisted that I take the advanced algebra classes in the seventh and eighth grade.
The GATE kids *WERE* assholes and were extra bonus special assholes to me because math was the only advanced class that I was in. (At my junior high school you had to pick your elective based on what level of classes you were in - to take the GATE classes you HAD to take a music elective; if you took art, drama, shop, or home ec you couldn’t take the smart kid classes. The algebra class was a new, separate addition to the program so *some* of the kids in the “electives for dropouts” program could take algebra. Schools are really fucked up, guys, in case you didn’t know schools are really fucked up and that was BEFORE No Child Left Behind).
I got a C in that algebra class and sat in my room for literally an hour screaming at myself for being such a selfish, distracted idiot that I let myself read my books instead of studying harder for the class. (clearly very healthy, normal twelve-year-old behavior)
When it was time to go to high school my teachers made a united plea to the district to transfer me into honors/IB/AP classes.
The kids in the honors/IB/AP classes continued to be kind of awful to me. I got extremely depressed and basically started doing the lazy-but-brilliant thing of completely ignoring homework or in-class work but performing spectacularly well on tests or essays in the classes that I wasn’t catastrophically failing
I was the only person at the school who got a perfect score on the vocab part of my SAT. I was the only honors kid who hadn’t been in SAT prep classes. There was only one other kid who graduated with the same number of units as I had, we’d outstripped the valedictorian and salutatorian but three classes each. I only applied to one college - I got accepted for painting but my interviewer urged me to move to the writing program and I got accepted for that too.
My financial aid didn’t come through and my dad wasn’t willing to cosign for loans on “an art program at a trade school.”
I got accepted to Pratt Institute on their Writing for Publication track which included an internship with the New York Times for third-year students in the program.
At that point I had a Columbia Scholastic Press award for my work on my high school yearbook.
Let me tell you, the community college that I went to and spent five years variously failing and succeeding at had a fucking *killer* newspaper and magazine when I was there. The local community newspaper that hired me when I was 21 was also much better designed and edited than it had any right to be for the three years I worked there (getting paid a whole eight dollars an hour and sometimes working 20 hours straight to get it in to the printer on time).
When I transferred to the state school I got perfect grades and worked full time and won every contest offered by the school’s English Honors society (which I couldn’t join because I was a transfer student and hadn’t done honors classes my freshman and sophomore years). I started a literary magazine with some friends when I graduated; we published four full issues online before it fell apart.
You know what’s also funny?
Even the food-service job I had to pay my way though the community college I felt terrible about attending was a skills test. I was a barista, so of course for a while I was a competitive barista.
I disappointed my parents a lot. I heard a lot of “we know you’re better than this.” I got told I was too smart to be screwing up this bad. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago but my results from that IQ test got compared to my sister’s and that was the justification for holding me to a higher standard. “You’re measurably brilliant, why aren’t you acting like it?”
Here lies the corpse of a gifted kid. Look on my works ye might and despair.
I am the perfect picture of a twice exceptional gifted kid and the reason I wrote all of this out is to tell you one thing:
“Gifted Kid” is a label that someone applied to you, it has nothing to do with who and what you ARE.
It’s very, very unfair that the adults in your life used you that way. I have an exceptionally terrible memory of being singled out as the only one who passed the first test in my IB World History class; “Why is Alli the only one of all of you who is writing at grade level? You’re supposed to be the smartest kids in the school, why did you all fail?”
That’s awful for the kids around you, that’s awful for you. It doesn’t do anybody any favors if people around you are being informed that you’re setting the curve they’ll be judged against. And it really, really doesn’t do YOU any favors because it doesn’t take long *at all* for your brain to learn that that’s all you’re good for. If you aren’t the best at a thing then what’s the point, you HAVE to be best because they already SAID you were best and if you aren’t then all these other people hate you for setting a standard that even you can’t keep up with.
You end up competing with past versions of yourself and focusing on those things that make the grownups in your life praise you because the grownups in your life has praised you in such a way that it’s turned all the other kids against you.
You know who bullied the fuck out of me? The kids I taught the times tables to, the kids I read to for half an hour a day.
Those kids were MEAN to me but the teacher who told me to read Boxcar Kids to the class after lunch everyday was NICE and she told me not to worry, they were just jealous and I should be proud of my gifts.
“Anon did this in three minutes. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” - what a terrible weight to put on a child. You’re right. Not everyone can do everything.
Fucking hell.
Adults what the everloving shit is wrong with us? Please don’t treat kids like that.
Okay.
Okay.
But here’s the other thing:
If there’s any time in your life that it’s easy to acquire skills with no apparent effort it’s when you’re a child surrounded by a support system that is engaged in making sure that you can acquire those skills.
It took three adults, two dictionaries, and several hours a day to teach me enough sight-words to throw me into “look at baby genius*” territory but from my perspective as a little kid I was just reading cool stories.
I spent four hours a day in the yearbook room and ditched and failed other classes so that I could work on the yearbook. I collected hundreds of magazines to get an eye for layout. But from my perspective as a teenager it was a fun activity that I did with the closest thing I had to friends.
I’m sure that there are some skills that you had a natural aptitude for, some things that came naturally. But I’m also sure that you didn’t learn those skills with no effort, it’s just that now as an adult with a life and other shit going on it takes more effort to learn to do things.
In all likelihood you weren’t a savant who did everything perfectly the first time you tried. It just seems that way because even really smart kids don’t know when they’re bad at things and are mostly being compared against other kids (with the few rare exceptions of music prodigies or math prodigies or those kids who end up in science grad programs at 12 and boy howdy do I think there’s a whole other can of worms when it comes to the way child prodigies* interact with the world).
You wanna know what probably saved my life in the last few years?
That “anti-capitalist love notes” tumblr post.
You are worth more than your productivity.
You are worth more than your productivity.
You are worth more than your productivity.
I was actually kind of offended the first time I saw that post on my dash. “No I’m not,” I thought. “You’re only worth what you can do, everyone knows that. People care about what you do for them.”
And why the hell would I think anything else? That’s what I’d learned for pretty much my whole life.
It took me a really long time to understand that I was wrong. I matter outside of what I can do for people or how well I perform. I matter more than being able to perfectly recite poetry from memory or do calculations on command or sit down at a piano and play a piece I’ve never played by sight-reading it.
And you matter outside of that too. You’re more than your performance, you’re better than being gifted. There are people who love you for the way you make them laugh and how you listen to their stories and for the simple joy of your presence.
It’s nice to be clever, it’s handy in a lot of situations even if it does come with a lot of baggage for some people.
But god damn, it’s important to be kind.
* Personally I have issues with the way that society constructs the concepts of giftedness, genius, and prodigies. There are a lot of “gifted” kids who were the kids who scored in the top 5% of their class in school but there are also gifted kids who were doing high-level math or reading novels as toddlers; there are prodigies who showed an aptitude for music young and who were then schooled in that instrument to the exclusion of all other activities (and I bet there are a fair number of kids who might be considered prodigies if they were trained to play flute for nine hours a day and didn’t have friends but thankfully we don’t *do* that to very many people - side note, ask me my opinion about olympic athletes some time). Words like “genius” and “gifted” are very nearly meaningless and almost *never* accurately reflect skills proficiency or long-term success or are reflected in income or respect. People think that geniuses are hypercompetent robots with their shit together but literally every adult I know with a genius-level IQ is some variety or other of total fucking tire fire.
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The Last Red Scribble | Part 2/2
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima, Shimizu
Rating: T for Teen
Warnings: Abortion reference
A.N. This is the final part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!
Italics is Tsukishima.
Bold is Kuroo.
[Read on AO3]
Tuesday PM
(11:02) so i might be dumb
(11:05) If you have the mental capacity to figure that out, you paradoxically can’t be that dumb.
(11:06) i might not play in the match on thurs
(11:06) i punched a guy
(11:07) Why the fuck would you do that.
(11:08) im a rational guy
(11:08) but when things happen
(11:09) they happen
(11:10) I changed my mind.
(11:10) I’m not letting Tobio anywhere near you. You are the worst role model for him.
(11:10) hear me out
(11:11) its good i swear
(11:12) …
(11:12) so at practice this newbie kept staring at akaashi
(11:12) creepy but harmless
(11:12) but then the dudes hand started wandering
(11:13) so i socked him in the jaw
(11:13) gotta keep the bros boyfriend safe right
(11:15) I’m sure Akaashi appreciates it.
(11:16) nah but bokuto did lololol
(11:16) The question is, how many laps did your coach make you run?
(11:17) dude i ran till i hurled
(11:17) make me feel better?
(11:17) *sad face emoji*
(11:20) The newly discovered dinosaur fossils in China have changed the way scientists understand the evolution of feathers.
(11:22) huh
(11:22) not quite what i had in mind but cool
(11:23) It’s my job.
(11:23) youre a geneticist who collects dino dna from amber
(11:23) YOURE GOING TO BRING THEM BACK
(11:23) I’m a research assistant.
(11:24) doesnt mean you dont know how
(11:24) Amber DNA is too deteriorated for any type of resurrection.
(11:24) but if you could
(11:25) would you
(11:25) Yes.
(11:26) million dollar question which dino though
(11:27) Velociraptor, duh.
(11:27) not a t rex?
(11:28) T-rexes were lumpy potatoes with useless arms.
(11:28) Velociraptors had claws on their hind legs for disembowelling prey.
(11:28) You tell me which one’s superior.
(11:29) youre so fired up its great
(11:29) keep talking dinos to me
(11:31) I would but I have articles to type up before tomorrow.
(11:31) what an aDULTY ADULT
(11:31) doing his JOB AND HAVING PROSPECTS
(11:33) Do you mock young and successful people because it temporarily alleviates the worthlessness you feel on a daily basis?
(11:35) savage af
(11:35) :))))
(11:35) i never shouldve went to uni
(11:36) dietetics then sports med?
(11:36) regret tastes like ash in my mouth
(11:36) fucking murder me
(11:37) That was very poetic.
(11:38) you like poetry?
(11:38) I don’t mind it.
(11:39) hypothetically
(11:39) could bad poetry seduce you
(11:40) Hypothetically
(11:40) No.
(11:40) damn
(11:41) I bet you’re the type of person to fall for sappy crap like that.
(11:41) damn right
(11:41) in elementary school a girl wrote me a poem
(11:42) we dated all the way from recess to lunch
(11:43) Your longest relationship, huh?
(11:44) all from a shitty roses are red poem
(11:44) i bet you can do better
(11:45) seduce me o seductive seducer
(11:47) Congratulations, I have literally never been less turned off in my entire life.
(11:48) to reiterate
(11:48) 1. i am dumb
(11:48) 2. regret tastes like ash in my mouth
(11:49) Mmm.
(11:50) You know what else tastes like ash?
(11:51) *image attached*
(11:53) oh baby
(11:54) you could never taste like regret
(11:54) now take that cigarette out of your mouth
(11:54) Yes, daddy.
(11:55) hjlfkllkkl
(11:56) okay i need you to stop fucking with me its bad for my heart
(11:56) :)))))
.
Wednesday PM
(8:13) tsukki you cant just do that
(8:14) Do what?
(8:14) i almost rolled into an early grave
(8:14) I have no idea what you’re talking about.
(8:14) do you know what its like to turn around and see the brightest blueberry eyes in the entire universe
(8:15) Oh, you mean Akiteru taking Tobio to the recreation centre?
(8:15) I SAW STARS IN HIS EYES TSUKKI
(8:16) Tobio said he had a lot of fun.
(8:16) I’ve never seen him so animated before.
(8:17) your son is adorable
(8:17) i dont have favourites but hes my favourite
(8:17) Don’t spoil him.
(8:18) no promises
(8:18) your blueberry son is everything that is good and pure in this world
(8:18) im so proud of you
(8:19) Me??
(8:19) well you made him
(8:19) You must’ve slept through Biology in high school because making a child is a two-person job.
(8:20) clearly tobio got his good looks from you
(8:20) We literally look nothing alike.
(8:21) are you telling me tobio has two beautiful parents
(8:21) lies
(8:22) pics or it didnt happen
(8:22) ...
(8:23) i just realised how that sounded
(8:23) and i in no way meant to ask you for a picture of you sleeping with tobios mother
(8:27) I have never
(8:27) Laughed so hard in my entire life
(8:28) I choked on my fucking tea.
(8:28) whoopsss
(8:29) But since you asked
(8:29) *image attached*
(8:29) please dont tell me thats actually a pic of you two fucking
(8:29) because i would be really weirded out
(8:30) That’s not a picture of us fucking.
(8:30) im trusting you okay
(8:31) OH MY GOODNESS
(8:31) AHAHAHAHAH
(8:31) SHE IS SO BEAUTIFULLL
(8:31) She gets that a lot.
(8:32) im having a hard time trying to figure out if im jealous of you or her
(8:32) No point. We’re not together.
(8:33) i figured if you were you wouldve said something earlier
(8:33) so let me guess
(8:33) she cheated on you
(8:34) No.
(8:35) you cheated on her
(8:35) No.
(8:35) Do I look like a cheater?
(8:35) hey i dont stereotype
(8:35) There was no cheating. Just unfortunate circumstances.
(8:36) one night stand accidental baby?
(8:36) Yeah, close enough.
(8:37) thats tough
(8:37) it happened to my older sister too
(8:37) but she ended up marrying the guy
(8:37) they were like fuck yeah lets be a family
(8:38) so now im the proud uncle of a literal ball of snot
(8:39) That was Akiteru when he held Tobio for the first time.
(8:39) He couldn’t stop crying.
(8:39) It was gross.
(8:40) dude was holding the future in his hands
(8:40) of course he was crying
(8:40) You cried when you held your literal ball of snot for the first time, didn’t you?
(8:41) THIS ISNT ABOUT ME ITS ABOUT YOU
(8:41) BACK TO YOUR ONE NIGHT STAND
(8:41) You need to be a level five friend to unlock my tragic backstory.
(8:41) well okay
(8:41) what level am i at now
(8:43) Zero.
(8:44) what
(8:44) how can you say that
(8:44) we had an anniversary
(8:44) your brother loves me
(8:45) your son adores me
(8:45) My brother what now.
(8:45) did i forget to mention??
(8:46) we bonded over vball
(8:46) now were texting buddies
(8:46) we talk about you ALL THE TIME
(8:48) You’re lying.
(8:48) Akiteru would never do that to me.
(8:48) you had a dinosaur nightlight until you were eleven
(8:49) …
(8:49) Excuse me.
(8:49) I have a murder to commit.
(8:49) tell akiteru i said hi!!
.
Thursday AM
(9:23) WISH US LUKC TSUUKIIIII
(9:24) You’re… Bokuto. The Bset Freind Foreber.
(9:24) YAEH YOU RMEMEBR ME
(9:24) I STOEL KUROOS PHONE LOL
(9:24) WE GOT OUR MATHC TODAY
(9:24) HES PLAYIGN TOO
(9:25) Even after he punched that guy in the face?
(9:25) COAHC IS A GOOD UPTSANDING MAN
(9:25) WHO DOESTN TOLERATE SEZXUAL ASSUALT
(9:25) I ALSO MAY HAVE THROWN A TANTRNM ON COUTR
(9:26) I’m impressed. Good job.
(9:26) WE’RE RARIGN TO GO
(9:26) LOOK AT US WE LOOKS O GOOD
(9:27) *image attached*
(9:27) Yeah, you blurs look really good.
(9:27) OKAY OKAY WAIT
(9:28) *image attached*
(9:28) AKAASGHHI TOOK TAHT ONE
(9:28) AWESOME AYYY
(9:29) Are those
(9:29) Sleeveless red jerseys
(9:29) ?
(9:29) YAEEHHHH
(9:29) WAIT THISS IS EVEN BETTER
(9:29) CHEKC THIS OUT
(9:30) HOLD ON
(9:30) *image attached*
(9:30) ...
(9:30) GROUP FLEX
(9:30) I
(9:31) LOOKGNI SEXY SMEZY RIGHT
(9:31) ;)))))))))
(9:32) No.
(9:32) LIAR I BET YOU’RE BLUSHIGN
(9:32) Go warm up before your match.
(9:32) IM TELLIGN KUROO!!!!!!
.
Thursday PM
(3:16) a lil birdie told me
(3:16) youre into
(3:16) BICEPS
(3:17) It’s a lie.
(3:17) so this does nothing for you
(3:17) *image attached*
(3:17) ...
(3:17) oikawa and akaashi
(3:18) slender and toned specimens
(3:18) 7.5/10
(3:18) You have got to be kidding me.
(3:18) dont be shy no judgement here
(3:18) *image attached*
(3:18) terushima and ushiwaka
(3:19) terushimas built but ushiwakas got power going
(3:19) 8/10 and 9/10
(3:19) I can’t believe you right now.
(3:19) *image attached*
(3:19) these are bokutos
(3:19) amazing right my boy is STACKED
(3:20) 10/10
(3:19) Please stop.
(3:20) the real killers though
(3:20) *image attached*
(3:20) IWAIZUMI
(3:21) look at that
(3:21) he could choke me and id thank him 12/10
(3:22) Are you done with the meat parade?
(3:22) just one more
(3:22) *image attached*
(3:22) ME
(3:23) what do you think??
(3:23) I’m not stroking your already inflated ego.
(3:24) i know for a fact youre not a blushing virgin
(3:24) now stop being shy and rate me
(3:24) You’re ridiculous.
(3:24) Fine.
(3:24) Solid muscle. Good definition.
(3:24) 9/10
(3:25) only 9??
(3:25) im hurt im insulted
(3:25) would it make a difference if i used a filter
(3:26) Why not.
(3:26) *image attached*
(3:26) Superb musculature, clearly the result of endless hours of hard work.
(3:26) 10/10
(3:26) i knew it
(3:27) i gotta go rub this in oikawas face
(3:27) he will rue the day he ever thought he was better built than me
(3:27) text later okay
(3:27) Kuroo.
(3:27) yes dear
(3:27) You forgot to tell me.
(3:28) Did you win the match?
(3:28) YEAH LOL
(3:28) Congratulations.
(3:28) thanks babe
(3:28) the thought of you kept me going strong
(3:28) *heart eyes emoji*
.
Friday PM
(10:23) i wondered what’d gotten tsukki so riled up
(10:23) and then i saw all the biceps
(10:23) loolllll
(10:25) im intrigued
(10:25) who is this mysterious person with tsukkis phone
(10:25) ahh i’m yamaguchi
(10:25) tsukki’s best friend
(10:26) i may or may not have borrowed his phone when he wasn’t looking
(10:26) devious
(10:26) i like it
(10:26) ur going to like this a lot more
(10:26) oho?
(10:26) it’s friday night
(10:27) which means it’s karaoke night
(10:27) with everyone from work
(10:27) there wouldnt happen to be
(10:27) alcohol
(10:27) involved would there
(10:28) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(10:28) you bring great news friend
(10:28) so what do i need to sacrifice to get a vid of tsukki
(10:28) doing a drunken rendition of my heart will go on
(10:29) that’s a big request
(10:29) tsukki hates performing
(10:19) especially to cliches
(10:30) okay but you do have the ability to make him to do so
(10:30) that depends on what ur willing to sacrifice
(10:30) you ARE devious
(10:30) all right what do you want
(10:32) ur number and ur firstborn
(10:33) im devoted to tsukki just saying
(10:33) firstborn no problem
(10:33) i want ur number bc i want to keep u accountable
(10:33) not bc i’m interested in u, u loser
(10:34) i can see why you two are best friends
(10:34) we have a deal??
(10:34) fuck yeah lets go
(10:34) gimme fifteen minutes
(10:34) tsukki’s already tipsy on strawberry daiquiris
(10:34) this is gonna be so good
(10:34) lets go lets go lets go
(10:53) i am
(10:53) a GOD
(10:53) *video attached*
(10:57) AHAHAHAHA
(10:57) this is
(10:57) the second best day
(10:57) of my life
(10:57) omg is this real its beautiful
(10:58) he is SO BAD, RIGHT
(10:58) is he better sober
(10:59) no but he can rap sober
(11:00) are you fucking with me
(11:01) nopee
(11:01) what do i need to sacrifice to see that
(11:01) u couldn’t afford it
(11:02) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(11:02) worth a shot
(11:02) youre a true bro anyway
(11:03) why thank yoyiijkpll
(11:03) you okay bud
(11:03) What teh fuck
(11:03) tsukki??
(11:04) babe
(11:04) so me and your bestie bonded too
(11:04) Waht the actual fuvk
(11:04) I’m too drukn to typpe
(11:04) You fuckign pick up whenm I call
(11:05) wait what
.
Mysterious Phone Man Tsukki is calling…
“Uhh… hello?”
“I… I am going to… gouge your eyes out.”
“Holy shit, you’re slurring. You’re soo drunk.”
“Hi, Kuroo!”
“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”
“Sorry, Tsukki!”
“Kuroo, you shit. I sh… should’ve known you’d do something like this.”
“Hey, Yamaguchi was the one who filmed you!”
“Ohh no, don’t blame me, you enabler!"
“You know what, I’m not even sorry. That was wicked. Oh my god, I’m definitely in love.”
“What a complete dick… hole.”
“Aw babe, you’re so eloquent when you’re drunk. What did Yamaguchi give you, hmm?"
“JÄEGERBOMBS, WHOO!”
“Fucking disgush-- disgusting.”
“Then why’d you drink it, you dork?”
“Ughh…"
“Don’t forget you owe me, Kuroo!”
“Gonna kill you both.”
“I dare you. Come to Tobio’s practice tomorrow and we’ll have a fucking throwdown.”
“I’m going to be so hungover.”
“I double dare you.”
"Fucking… fine.”
“Wow, Kuroo. You’re really good at riling Tsukki up, you know that?”
“It’s a special talent. Now you boys enjoy the rest of your night. I’m going to watch that rendition one more time and laugh myself to sleep.”
“FUCK YOU, KUROO!”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
“Aww, you guys.”
“YOU FUCKING--”
Click.
.
Saturday AM
(7:46) GOOD MORNINGGG
(7:46) THROWDOWN AT 10
(7:46) DONT FORGET
.
Mysterious Phone Man Tsukki is calling…
“Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?”
“I fucking hate you.”
“Soo… your head is pulsing, your throat is parched and you want to die in a hole?"
“I was unconscious. Unable to feel pain. Now I’m back in the world of the living.”
“Don't be mad. If you drag your ass down to the rec centre, I’ll get coffee for you.”
“...”
“Is that a yes?”
“Large black.”
“Black coffee? Are you serious?”
“It matches my soul.”
“O-kay, anything else?”
“Strawberry muffin.”
“Your soul confuses me.”
“And something for Tobio.”
“No shit, duh. Akiteru?”
“He can starve.”
“Still haven’t forgiven him for telling me about the dinosaur nightlight, huh?”
“And I’ll never forgive you if you bring it up again.”
“Bring what up again?”
“Good boy.”
“Can we revisit that conversation about kinks again?”
Click.
.
Saturday AM
(9:47) ive got coffee and muffins
(9:47) hot chocolate for tobio
(9:47) and a latte for akiteru bc im not an ass
(9:52) Fuck.
(9:52) i know youre mad at akiteru but no need to get hissy
(9:52) It’s not that.
(9:52) We can’t make it to practice anymore.
(9:53) ????
(9:53) Tobio’s mother is here.
(9:53) whoaa what
(9:53) I’m really sorry.
(9:53) Especially since you bought breakfast.
(9:54) I’ll pay you back.
(9:54) dont worry about it lol
(9:54) ill share it with the other guys
(9:54) Are you mad?
(9:55) kinda disappointed but not at you
(9:55) its not your fault
(9:55) I really am sorry.
(9:56) I need to go, but I’ll text you later okay?
(9:56) no need to stress
(9:57) practice is about to start anyway
.
Saturday PM
(1:28) Are you free to talk now?
(1:29) kuroos sperm bank
(1:29) you squeeze em we freeze em
(1:29) That is disgusting.
(1:30) tsukki its time for the talk you never got when you hit puberty
(1:30) what you must realise is that masturbation is healthy and natural
(1:30) We are not having this conversation. Ever.
(1:31) babe dont be embarrassed
(1:31) one day youll have to have the same convo with tobio lololol
(1:31) Please don’t remind me.
(1:31) you doing okay
(1:32) I’ve had a shitty morning.
(1:33) id also be in a bad mood if i were hungover and my ex showed up uninvited
(1:33) She’s not
(1:33) Whatever.
(1:33) not... your ex?
(1:34) She can’t be my ex if we never went out.
(1:34) idk you had a one night stand with her
(1:34) It’s complicated.
(1:35) have i reached level five friend yet
(1:35) …
(1:35) im here to listen
(1:37) I guess you might be a level five friend.
(1:37) hell yeah
(1:37) I can’t believe this. I don’t even know you.
(1:38) im hurt
(1:38) you just blessed me as your level five friend
(1:40) I don’t know where to start.
(1:40) lets start small
(1:40) howd you meet her
(1:40) Shimizu was my senior in high school.
(1:40) We weren’t close but we kept in touch after she graduated.
(1:40) Study tips and stuff like that.
(1:41) thats cute
(1:41) sounds innocent
(1:41) It wasn’t ever anything more than that.
(1:42) We just
(1:43) There’s a lot to learn about yourself when you’re a teenager.
(1:43) And we thought we could help each other out.
(1:44) seems like you two trusted each other a lot
(1:44) We did.
(1:44) Do.
(1:44) But there was never a relationship.
(1:45) We slept together but neither of us really wanted it.
(1:46) what do you mean?
(1:46) I’m gay.
(1:46) Shimizu’s ace.
(1:46) We both cried afterwards.
(1:47) Pathetic, right.
(1:47) i dont think thats pathetic at all
(1:47) you bared your vulnerabilities to each other
(1:47) and learned something about yourselves in the process
(1:48) it takes a lot of courage to do something like that
(1:49) I guess.
(1:50) so tobio was the result of that huh
(1:50) Yeah.
(1:50) It was bad.
(1:50) Our families were so pissed at each other.
(1:51) They talked about abortion and marriage and all that shit.
(1:51) i dont envy you at all
(1:51) that mustve been a complete shit storm and a half
(1:51) Shimizu and I considered a platonic marriage.
(1:52) But we didn’t want to do something neither of us wanted again.
(1:52) so wedding nay but baby yay
(1:52) Tobio lived with Shimizu.
(1:52) Until she got a job offer in America.
(1:53) She thought a new country would’ve been too much for him.
(1:53) You know how that turned out.
(1:54) stomping sandcastles and chucking buckets
(1:54) i still think tobios a champ
(1:55) Dickwad.
(1:55) i love you too babe
(1:55) but seriously you and tobio have been doing a lot better
(1:56) hes talking to you and his teacher said he was playing with other kids
(1:56) Tobio had
(1:56) He’d settled.
(1:56) He’d looked at me.
(1:57) But one glance at Shimizu today and
(1:58) It was like I didn’t exist again.
(1:58) Fuck.
(1:58) I can’t do this.
(1:58) hey hey hey
(1:58) tobio was just excited to see his mum
(1:58) four months right
(1:59) he wouldve missed her like crazy
(1:59) he wants kisses and cuddles
(1:59) doesnt mean hes forgotten his old man
(2:00) First of all, I’m not old.
(2:02) ...
(2:02) second of all??
(2:02) I don’t have a second of all.
(2:03) LOLOLOL
(2:03) Shut up, I’m emotional right now.
(2:03) naww babe
(2:03) youre just overthinking things
(2:03) talk to tobio
(2:03) hes five but he understands shit
(2:04) tell him you love him just as much as his mum does
(2:04) then throw in a vball reference or something idk
(2:04) You’re so helpful.
(2:04) even if tobio doesnt understand everything
(2:04) verbalising will help sort out your emotions
(2:05) I thought you were doing Sports Medicine, not Psychiatry.
(2:05) i am an old man with decades of wisdom
(2:05) There it is.
(2:05) what?
(2:05) STRANGER DANGER.
(2:06) i cant believe
(2:06) i walked right into that one
(2:06) Lol.
(2:06) feeling better?
(2:07) Yeah.
(2:07) Thanks for listening to me vent.
(2:07) It did help clear my head.
(2:08) thats what level five friends are for
(2:09) I’m still sorry about missing practice this morning.
(2:09) Can I make it up to you?
(2:09) how about
(2:09) lets do this properly
(2:10) and go on a real date
(2:11) I
(2:11) You want that?
(2:11) youre intelligent witty and hilarious
(2:11) you love your son and would do anything for him
(2:12) plus youre the most beautiful person ive ever seen
(2:12) theres no reason i wouldnt want to
(2:12) Wow.
(2:12) thats a very lacklustre reaction
(2:13) No, I’m just
(2:13) Surprised.
(2:13) good or bad surprised?
(2:13) Good surprised.
(2:13) I didn’t expect you to be so straightforward.
(2:14) i have literally been calling you babe and sweetheart and dear
(2:14) I thought flirtation was an integral part of your personality.
(2:14) Am I wrong to assume you flirt with everyone?
(2:14) well no
(2:15) i joke around a lot
(2:15) but i mean it with you
(2:15) youre amazing in every way
(2:16) I really don’t know what to say to that.
(2:16) how does this sound
(2:16) you me and tobio
(2:16) at the park tomorrow
(2:16) picnic and volleyball
(2:18) You’d want Tobio there?
(2:18) of course hes my favourite
(2:18) and also because hes important to you
(2:18) Nice save.
(2:18) so picnic?
(2:18) Yeah.
(2:18) I’d like that.
(2:19) Tobio’s excited too.
(2:19) He says he’ll help make riceballs.
(2:19) thats the cutest fucken thing ive heard all day
(2:19) BOKTUO BRO HIGH FIVE ME IM GOING ON A PICNIC WITH TSUKKI AND TOBIO TOMORROW ADN IVE NEVER BEEN THIS EIXCITED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
(2:19) Kuroo.
(2:19) uhh
(2:20) wrong number
(2:21) fuck it NO REGRETS
.
Sunday AM
(9:12) Hello, is this Kuroo?
(9:15) yeess
(9:15) whos this
(9:17) My name is Shimizu Kiyoko.
(9:17) wait as in
(9:17) tsukki and tobios shimizu??
(9:18) Yes.
(9:18) uhh hey
(9:18) not that i dont want to talk to you
(9:18) but why do you have my number
(9:19) I took it from Tsukishima’s phone.
(9:19) Our last few conversations he mentioned your name and it piqued my curiosity.
(9:19) tsukki talks about me?
(9:20) He doesn’t think you’re a nuisance.
(9:20) That’s very rare.
(9:20) what can i say
(9:20) im charming when i want to be
(9:20) Tobio is quite taken with you.
(9:21) That’s also very rare.
(9:21) You’re the exception to the rule; I’m sure you understand why I’m curious.
(9:22) i guess but i dont know if theres much to say
(9:22) we all just like volleyball
(9:22) Your influence helped smooth out their relationship.
(9:22) it wasnt much
(9:22) i just mentioned vball and things went from there
(9:22) it was all them
(9:23) You helped them find common ground in their lives.
(9:23) I know how difficult it was for them beforehand.
(9:23) they wouldve figured things out eventually
(9:23) theyre amazing as they are
(9:24) You sound fond of them.
(9:24) i am
(9:24) tobios a good kid
(9:24) and tsukki makes me laugh
(9:24) mostly at my own expense
(9:24) but i like that he doesnt hold back
(9:25) Tsukishima holds you in similar thoughts.
(9:25) He’d never admit it but I know him well enough.
(9:25) so this conversation
(9:25) are you basically sussing out whether or not im a piece of shit
(9:25) Yes.
(9:25) how am i doing so far
(9:27) You’re fine.
(9:27) oh thank god
(9:27) I don’t understand. You sound relieved?
(9:27) well youre tobios mum
(9:27) and tsukki has a lot of respect for you
(9:28) so your opinions pretty important
(9:30) I’m surprised. Not many others would consider that.
(9:31) idk it makes sense
(9:32) I’m glad Tsukishima found someone who accepts our unusual circumstances.
(9:32) I was afraid my decision to keep Tobio would affect his future relationships.
(9:32) tsukki wouldnt care about people like that anyway
(9:33) hed give tobio the world before he gave it to anyone else
(9:33) but who wouldnt for a kid like that
(9:35) I think the same, but I may be biased.
(9:35) tobios earnest and hardworking
(9:36) determined to challenge himself
(9:36) you raised a good kid
(9:36) Thank you. That means a lot to me.
(9:36) its the truth
(9:36) so i have passed your inspection or nah
(9:39) There’s a lot I want to say but I’ll keep it brief for both our sakes.
(9:39) yikes
(9:40) I care for Tsukishima and Tobio so much more than I can put into words.
(9:40) I hope it means something that I think you’re good for them.
(9:41) oh
(9:41) yeah
(9:41) yeah it does
(9:41) thanks
(9:41) im not eloquent enough for this
(9:42) but i care a lot for them too
(9:42) and ill take care of them
(9:42) for as long as theyll have me
(9:42) for as long as youll let me
(9:44) I can see why Tsukishima and Tobio like you.
(9:44) tsukki only likes me for my biceps
(9:44) Funny.
(9:44) Tsukishima is actually reading this over my shoulder.
(9:45) uh oh
(9:45) is he sulking now
(9:45) A little bit.
(9:45) He does have a weakness for muscles.
(9:46) I KNEW IT
(9:46) AHAHAHAHAHA
(9:46) hes never going to live this down
(9:47) Oh, I shouldn’t have let that slip.
(9:47) Tsukishima’s mad at me now.
(9:47) bless his sensitive soul
(9:47) He’s telling Tobio to spike a ball into your face.
(9:48) what
(9:48) Tobio might actually do it.
(9:48) shimizu
(9:48) i know were merely acquaintances
(9:49) but help
(9:50) Strawberry shortcake.
(9:50) It’s Tsukishima’s favourite.
(9:50) thats adorable
(9:50) i owe you one
(9:50) Then take care of them.
(9:50) Or I’ll take care of you.
(9:51) wh
(9:51) Have fun on your date.
(9:51) Tobio will tell me all about it.
(9:51) :)
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