Jolie Holland Interview: Refractive & Layered

Photo by Chris Doody

BY JORDAN MAINZER

When I called Jolie Holland last summer to talk about her then-upcoming new album Haunted Mountain (Cinquefoil), the LP had just arrived. Lying in her house was, in her words, "a mountain of Haunted Mountain." She had just finished boxing up a limited edition vinyl of her debut album Catalpa, sent to her supporters on Patreon, and a friend was coming over later in the day to help box up some more vinyl. The DIY and direct-to-consumer approach suits Holland and is certainly consistent with the themes of Haunted Mountain, an album that at times looks back at Holland's earliest years and contextualizes them within society's current fights against capitalism and the patriarchy.

On Haunted Mountain, you can hear battles in every aspect of Holland's experiments. Take the spacious electronica of "Feet On The Ground", its deep bass groove and panning, skittering beat tangling with Holland's soulful vocal and whistling, and buzz-saw guitars that cut in and out. On the surface, its lyrics recall protest, but to Holland, it's her first "anti-patriarchal dance" song, using bodily movement as a means to a more just end. Piano ballad "Orange Blossoms" lays side-by-side natural imagery and soundscapes to chide human effect on climate change while being careful not to delve into the world of self-righteousness or eco fascism. "Every single soul on this spinning globe / Is captive to this dick measuring contest," she quips with her trademark smoky, jazzy vocal. The galloping Buck Meek duet "Highway 72" references Holland's experience as a homeless teenager, piercing violin rubbing against gentle acoustic guitar, pedal steel, and Mellotron, the sonic manifestation of the daily struggle to live on the streets. The song uses the Nyabinghi rhythm, named after an anti-colonial Rwandan freedom fighter, Holland's subtle way of connecting the fights against colonialism and austerity.

It's no coincidence that Holland's first album in years came as her creative relationship with Meek flourished. She first met him at the Park Slope Food Coop, where they both worked. "The stairs to the office are lined with cheesy personal advertisements of people offering different services," Holland said of the Coop. "It feels like a college campus in the 90's." She decided to advertise songwriting coaching and music lessons, and Meek saw it and decided to get in touch, as he was a fan of her music. The rest, as they say, is history: Holland bared witness to Meek's burgeoning relationship with Adrianne Lenker, the formation of Big Thief, and both his and his brother Dylan's resulting success.

Yes, it was a coincidence that in 2023, both Holland and Meek released albums named Haunted Mountain. Holland co-wrote five of the songs on Meek's album, including its title track, a tribute to active volcano Mount Shasta. Guitarist Adam Brisbin, whom Holland introduced to Meek, plays on both records. Yet, that both albums deal with "reciprocity with nature"--a phrase Holland said that Meek used to contextualize his title track--and a sort of cosmic telepathy is a tribute to Holland and Meek's intertwined creative partnership. Right now, Holland is getting ready to tour the UK and EU in March and April. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity, about Haunted Mountain, working with Meek, nature, protest music, and conversational songwriting.

Photo by Chris Doody

Since I Left You: This cosmic collaboration between you and Buck is years in the making.

Jolie Holland: I was super charmed. We've known each other for over 10 years. I love writing songs with him. We've never done it in person--it was just literally texting and videos that we sent each other.

SILY: On "Mood Ring" from his album, he sings about telepathy. Even if he's singing about it from a romantic standpoint, that he titled the album the same thing is even further coincidence.

JH: He didn't know I was naming my next record Haunted Mountain. I always was. I never questioned it. It was this very simple vision for me. It's such a straightforward thing to name a record after a song and clearly, it's a very evocative title. Who knows what it means? I don't exactly know what it means. It has this nice refractive multi-faceted character. It's also a soft rhyme that has a nice rhythm to it. It was unquestioned to me that was gonna be the title.

There was a similar thing going on in Buck's circle. He kept coming up with different names for his record, but everyone in his circle was calling it Haunted Mountain. They assumed that was the name. He thought, "This isn't moving. Everybody is into this." He sent me this extremely thoughtful email that explained the process. He said, "Can I name my record after your song, [but] only if you're not going to name your record the same [thing]?" I said, "Yeah, well I am [naming it Haunted Mountain]." It only took us a few hours to come around to the fact that [the coincidence] was awesome. [laughs]

SILY: He sings about the idea of "reciprocity with nature" on his title track, a humbled relationship with it, and so do you, especially on "Orange Blossoms". Can you talk about your personal relationship with nature and singing about it?

JH: I said that phrase, "reciprocity with nature," and then I completely forgot having said it. Buck was texting me, "What was that you said? Something about something with nature? What was it?" We finally both remembered my having said it.

Are you an Indigenous person?

SILY: No.

JH: Me neither. My grandmother had a Choctaw last name but wasn't tribally affiliated. She had a family background of being Indigenous. They lived in New Orleans. She was Black and French, and the spelling of her last name is typically only Choctaw. When I was a kid, she told me in a very strong New Orleans accent, "I'm half Black, half French, and half Indian. That makes me Cajun." It's some ridiculous shit. Did you read Braiding Sweetgrass?

SILY: No, but I'm familiar with it.

JH: It's so beautiful. It's written by an Indigenous botanist named Robin Wall Kimmerer. The audio book is so...gorgeous, hearing the cadence and the weight of meaning in her voice. I haven't even finished the book. It's very, very long, 15 hours or more. I've just dipped my toes in. But she tells this incredible story of being a young botanist student. She had this hypothesis that traditional harvesting methods were positive for propagating certain plant species. Her professor, who was not Indigenous, was not into the idea of her doing this experiment. He said, "That's clearly wrong. How could human behavior be good for these plants?" She did the experiment and proved that traditional harvesting practices were positive overall for the plant. There are these intensely unanalyzed perspectives in European and settler culture that humans are a curse on nature. It has so many deep repercussions.

I reference that Malthusian perspective on the record. There's a voice of nature on "Orange Blossoms" that says, "We throw this party every year whether or not you motherfuckers are around." [The line is, "We throw this party every year / Whether or not you humans are here."] [laughs] It's talking about spring. But that's a real settler colonial European attitude, that humans are not part of nature. It's obviously ridiculous. It's just a philosophical conceit.

SILY: Your references to fascism in that song are interesting. It reminded me of the very online debate during COVID about people staying inside and "nature healing" being an ecologically fascist point of view.

JH: I heard the line, "Every superhero is a fascist," through leftist comedians, Francesca Fiorentini and Nato Green. I found many examples of that analysis. There's a great couple chapters in the book The Utopia of Rules by David Graeber where he gets into that idea. He was friends with a lot of my friends, but I never met him. He died of COVID complications. His biggest macro-cultural hit was the book Bullshit Jobs, and before he passed away, he wrote The Dawn of Everything, which is extremely wonderful. He's an anthropologist, and the person he cowrote the book with, David Wengrow, is an archaeologist. They did an enormous global analysis of the systems of democracy and social organization that are not authoritarian. It's brilliant. I think it's going to be really important tool moving forward. It resets the picture on a lot of things.

Photo by Chris Doody

SILY: Do your views on colonialism and nature jive with the anti-colonial bend of "Highway 72" as well?

JH: Why do you say it's anti-colonial?

SILY: I thought the juxtaposition of imagery in the line, "Great-horned owl slipping by the overpass / I feel like every year might be my last," was referential to systems of oppression constantly threatening to kill us. Is that song auto-biographical?

JH: [laughs] Yeah, I was a homeless teenager, and there's a lot of imagery of that time in my life in that song. My friend called it an anti-colonial hymn because the rhythm, Nyabinghi rhythm, is an anti-colonial rhythm. It's named after the Rwandan female military leader. I've loved that rhythm for a long time. There's this movie Land of Look Behind made by Alan Greenberg, who was a cinematographer who worked with Werner Herzog. He was friends with Bob Marley and happened to be visiting him when he died. There's all this beautiful footage of Marley's funeral and footage of backwoods Rastafarians hanging out and playing music. There's a band Keith Richards produced called Wingless Angels, and it's some of my favorite gospel music. It's so moving to me. It's been an important part of my musical vocabulary for 20 years. I forget how deeply embedded it is in my way of thinking about music. One of my best friends, one of the first people to hear the record, said something so beautiful about the rhythm: "It's slower than my grief." I said, "Wow, I don't know what you're talking about, but I love it!" [laughs] I think he was trying to say it helped him move through a certain healing process.

I looked up the beat because I wanted more concrete information about it. I forget anything I've learned about it because I've been into it for so long. Keith Richards said something so amazing about it: "It's purposefully slower than your heartbeat." [I thought,] "Is [my friend's] experience of the song related to Richards was saying about it?

SILY: It requires an active participation or listening.

JH: What do you mean by that?

SILY: When something is that slow, it can't be experienced passively. To stay engaged, you have to commit to it.

JH: That's interesting. It's like Bob Dylan getting really really quiet when the audience is loud.

SILY: Definitely similar. I was intrigued, though, when you were just talking about the relationships between humans and nature, because the song is about you living outside.

JH: More and more of us experience that as capitalism fucks us up. [The song isn't about homelessness, but] about [my] experience of homelessness. A lot of people look at me, clearly a fucking intellectual, and they think I went to college and had a family. I'm a white lady, so there are assumptions about my socioeconomic background. They're wrong! [laughs] I didn't want to be taken as a ghoul, bloodlessly discussing so-called social problems, looking at it from an external viewpoint.

SILY: "Feet On The Ground" seems to be describing the relationship between protesting and activism and our emotions.

JH: That's interesting. It's not. But I like your analysis.

SILY: The line I highlight is, "When you've taken all that you can handle / Every act of tenderness is a frightful gamble." What does that mean to you?

JH: I've been working on this project of trying to make anti-patriarchal dance music, and this is the first [song]. It's more about interpersonal relationships. It's very inside-out. It's from deep inside of relationships with men.

SILY: Which is a political statement in and of itself, inherently.

JH: Totally. I love that you saw it that way.

SILY: Have other people heard the song without knowing what it refers to and interpreted it other ways?

JH: My friends who have heard it have been overwhelmed by the production. I was really excited to talk with people about what it means, but everybody I've played it for, Buck included, have thought it's such a crazy soundscape.

SILY: Somewhat of an anomaly for you.

JH: It's my first dance track...It's listed as a different genre.

SILY: What's your relationship with The Painted Bird, and why did you frame "One Of You" around that book?

JH: Have you read that book?

SILY: No.

JH: Don't read it! It sucks! [laughs] It's so fucking intense.

SILY: It's one of those books where I haven't read it, but I'm very familiar with the discourse around it.

JH: I read The Painted Bird when I was 13. I didn't know what it was. How could I have? I don't even know where I found it. Probably in the library, or I borrowed it from one of my mom's friends. It's the story of a little blond-haired Jewish boy walking out of rural Poland in the aftermath of WWII, who encounters repeated creepy atrocities. There's a lot of sexual violence in the book, which I really wish I hadn't been exposed to as a child. The central image in the book is when the kid sees these country boys that capture a bird and paint it in these bright colors and release it back, and the flock kills it.

SILY: Because they think it's an intruder.

JH: It's this extremely visceral metaphor for genocide and the process of othering. "Feet On The Ground" and "One Of You" were kind of the same idea for a minute. It was really hard to write "Feet On The Ground" because in one sense, it's protest music, but I'm not interested in writing protest music that's accusatory. I want to write music that actually gives people an ability to consider things from a more basic level than just an oppositional state. That's always been my criticism of oppositional protest music. If it's just accusatory, the person being accused is not listening to the music. I totally value a lot of music that is accusatory and is that kind of typical punk rock anthem-type stuff, but I've [long] been interested in how to write in a different way. Daniel Johnston was a big influence in moving in that direction. He's somebody I think a lot of people wouldn't naturally identify with, somebody with mental illness. But he presents himself in a way where it's impossible not to identify with him.

"Feet On The Ground" is based to a degree on that William Onyeabor song "Better Change Your Mind". Another discursive protest song I found amazing is, "Can't Blame The Youth" by Peter Tosh.

SILY: Accusatory protest songs, in my experience, exist more as cathartic than wanting to make actual change. They serve that purpose, even if delivered to an echo chamber. However, I was listening to the latest Bully album, and the final song, a punk song called "All This Noise", is what you think of when someone says, "protest music," but the song before that, "Ms. America", is much quieter and has a basic premise of, "I want to have a kid, but I don't want to teach a kid how to fight." It turns protest feelings inward. I found it to be a more effective protest song due to it eliciting more empathy than what you would think of as typical protest music. Is empathy a part of what you're trying to achieve?

JH: What do you mean by empathy?

SILY: When you look inward a bit more in your protest songs, essentially, you're trying to uncover some more universal truth that other people can identify with, as a means of making change, rather than being accusatory.

JH: Do you mean empathy with the people you're trying to change?

SILY: With anyone listening.

JH: Probably. I'm definitely not interested in preaching at people, so it's about talking with the people listening and trying to be part of a bigger conversation with anybody who might be on board, as opposed to something intended to be strictly cathartic and outwardly directed.

SILY: "Me and My Dream" references some legendary songwriters. Can you talk about the weight that carries?

JH: I always loved the songs of Lou Reed's where he's referencing his friends. We don't even know who these people are. "'Margarita told Tom,' 'Kennedy says.'" Those aren't famous people. Those were his friends. Or maybe they were famous. It doesn't matter in the song. It's so beautiful. I remember when he talked about his orientation with writing lyrics, he wanted it to sound like the kind of things he wanted to say to his friends. An interpersonal conversation. I love lyrics like that. This was me approaching that idea. I'm always thinking about other artists' work and the ways it affects me and how I respond to it. Blind Willie Johnson, [Tom] Waits, and Richards are the namechecked artists, but I also reference Betty Davis' "I Will Take That Ride".

SILY: What's the story behind the cover art?

JH: I love this artist Jo Bird. She's a metal viola player I know from Houston. She has a band called Fiddle Witch. She moved from Houston to Galveston, which is the beach I grew up with as a child where I got sunburnt to fucking hell. Another one of my songs, "June", on Pint of Blood, talks about imagining mountains out of clouds. I grew up in the fucking swamp with no mountains, but the sky is incredible with cumulus clouds and rainbows and thunderstorms and tornadoes. I loved seeing her pictures all the time, how this goth photographer gets these scary pictures of the beach. [The cover] was a picture she took on her iPhone. We had to use some magic to get it big enough to use on the cover. We still chose to keep it kind of small so we didn't have to distort it to get a good image of it.

SILY: What instrument do you write most of your songs on?

JH: I write most of them in my head. I don't want the music to be limited by whatever I know or don't know instrument-wise.

SILY: Do you find adapting them to a live performance a totally different artistic endeavor than writing and recording them in the first place?

JH: No, it's all really creative and an opportunity to see different stuff in the music. We've been playing "Haunted Mountain" a lot of different ways. One way we've been doing it is synth, bass, viola. I love how it breaks down to just the elements. I love presenting songs in a lot of different settings.

SILY: Are you the type of songwriter who is always writing, or do you need to set aside time to sit down and write?

JH: I'm always collecting ideas, but I do need to sit down to make them come all the way through. I woke up and wrote some lines a couple mornings ago, which is great, because I'm so busy with everything else that it starts to feel weird to not have time to write.

SILY: Is there anything else upcoming for you?

JH: I put out Catalpa on vinyl in an extremely limited release that I offered to my Patrons. I'll do [a wider] re-release. It was never mastered at all, let alone for vinyl. Larry Crane, the editor of Tape Op, an awesome engineer, prepared the files. [The originals are like] a sketch on a cocktail napkin. They're made out of pure garbage. Larry's colleague Adam Gonsalves mastered them. They sound incredible. Adam mastered Haunted Mountain and Escondida for vinyl. I've been working with him for a while. My friend Jason Tavares, who runs a hi-fi Shop, listened to Catalpa on a hundred-thousand dollar system and said it sounds amazing.

I wish people had access to better systems. So many people don't even have a record player. I didn't even have a decent record player until I moved to L.A. 10 years ago. Before that, I was moving around so much, so it didn't make sense. Larry Crane played bass for Elliott Smith and did similar work for his shittier recordings, turning them into something that could take production. He's such a fabulous nerd and knows all the new things. He happened to hear those recordings of Elliott's while out and about, and said, "I would have done it differently now." He learned a lot of stuff before Catalpa, so I'm glad to hear Jason said it sounds good.

SILY: Did you start a Patreon over COVID?

JH: I did. I couldn't figure out how to access unemployment and was real fucked. I was about to go on tour in February 2020, so it was great to get into Patreon. I did something super gimmicky the other day that people fucking loved. I said, "I'm going to release a Tom Waits cover every week until I reach this many patrons." People responded to it so fast I had to keep moving that number until it made sense. It's been interesting engaging with people on that level. I'm glad there's platforms like that. Marc Ribot helped start Music Workers Alliance, and they did an analysis that streaming has taken 20 billion dollars a year out of artists' pockets, [so] it's great we have these direct support systems [like Patreon].

BREAKING: Many top talent backstage are saying CM Punk has pooped in a toilet during AEW shows, causing it to smell briefly of feces. The feeling is Punk isn't taking his doodies seriously and is burying the product. In excrement. Chris Jericho, newly conscious from his latest bender, has gone on record stating that his own shit, does not in fact, stink.

Dax is gonna devote two hours to discussing this and wrestling sites will break that two hours up into 15 different news stories, very excited about it

DAX HARWOOD: "THE PINNACLE DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE MJF WAS TOO CONSTIPATED TO PARTICIPATE IN BACKSTAGE SHITFEST"

DAX PODCAST: "JERICHO EATS NOTHING BUT OLESTRA AND IT'S A PROBLEM FOR US ALL"

DAX: "TONY KHAN USES CHEAP TOILET PLUNGERS, HHH WOULD NEVER"

BOBBY FISH: "HEY REMEMBER ME HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

UNCLE HOWDY'S IDENTITY REVEALED: THIS IS THE NINTH TIME WE HAVE POSTED THIS STORY

SAMI SHOULD'VE WON: YET ANOTHER EDITORIAL THAT PROVES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT STORYTELLING STRUCTURE OR HOW ANYTHING, ANYWHERE WORKS

BOBBY LASHLEY TO BE REPACKAGED AS "THE DOOKIE MAN" FOR FEUD AGAINST RETURNING DAX HARDWOOD

JIM CORNETTE: "SUCKING THE STRAP IS WHERE IT'S AT"

you know, all the important news stories

marriage in ‘gilmore girls’ (pt. 1)

in this post, i'm gonna talk about how marriage/proposal is used to sweep problems under the rug in 'gilmore girls.'

wow, what a cheery topic!

1x21 - love, daisies, and troubadours

to recap, lorelai and max are fighting before a date about luke of all people. luke has just left lorelai’s house after telling her that rachel has left again. max is jealous because he thinks luke is an ex from their time apart. understandable.

max says, “why do we always do this, lorelai? when it’s just getting good again?” or whatever

they both conclude that it never ends up working out when they get back together. they both conclude they need a solution.

lorelai says “let’s break up.” max says “let’s get married.”

oh wait, but-

a few episodes back, lorelai had said to max, “i don’t ever want rory to feel unsettled in her life.” she said that was the reason she chickened out and ran. fine. this is the first time you’re dating with rory around.

you getting married after breaking up with the same man every five minutes over two months seems quite contradictory to me…

but anyway, don’t even get me started with when she called off the wedding on the fly because she realized she didn’t love max and then rory was extremely confused. that’s rory feeling unsettled.

like hello??????? i would’ve run away too.

(i know rory ran away before lorelai and max got engaged but rory was feeling unsettled way before that because of dean as well)

but okay i gotta give it to them because the thousand daisies lorelai found at the independence inn were cute.

honestly, i love max.

lorelai treated max so horribly and don’t get me wrong, her being confused was valid but taking time to figure it out instead of rushing into marriage would have been better than ghosting and hurting that poor man. AND THEN SHE COMES BACK AND KISSES HIM IN S3.

this is just one of the reasons why i don’t like season one all that much. i start my rewatches with season three because i am personally a team jess girl.

anyway, then there’s christopher. he’s a whole other post.

i’m just gonna talk about one of the times he proposed here.

1x15 - christopher returns

“lor, i wanna marry you.”

that whole conversation was insane.

to recap, chris and lorelai are standing in the kitchen discussing what had happened the night before. on emily and richard’s balcony. i shall say no more. lorelai very clearly regrets it and expresses her desire to never ever do that again with him. his first thought is to get married-

that's not even the bad part. he then says:

"c'mon, we're already a family"

WHO'S WE? you deign to show up for once for thirty mins and suddenly oh my god we're all happy and together?????

no. that doesn't make up for the 15-16 years rory didn't have a father involved in her life. you don't just get to show up and act like everything is all hey howdy doody. AND HE ALWAYS DOES.

he always just shows up when he wants to.

with gg, he couldn't escape that because she didn't have a mother either, so he had to be her father. he had the choice to either raise gg or abandon her. thank god it wasn't the latter because i- yeah. he finally understood what lorelai went through even though it wasn't totally the same because she was 16. that's one of his only shining moments when he admits what he did with rory was wrong, so i'll give him that.

this is just one facet of his personality that i very much loathe.

oh! here's my personal favorite: dean telling rory he’s getting married to lindsay :) but that’s in part 2.

see ya hehe

****i can't decide whether this is rambling or not but this is what this whole thing is for

October 8: AOFTA 2023

I did a lot with my brain this weekend. I’m not really ready to go back to work but whatever. I’m taking Friday off. The week is going to be pretty quiet with people on vacation and stuff. Hopefully I keep myself together in the after-work hours and get stuff done because not a lot was done this weekend, in terms of like practical stuff.

I did go out to the art show. B could not attend because he wasn’t feeling well but it was fine. I intended to go at 10, didn’t actually arrive until 11, but I was done—had seen everything and was physically and emotionally exhausted—by a little past 10. I had to wait until 3 to catch the bus so I just wandered a little more, tried out a couple of coffee shops but the line was super long on all of them, and so eventually I just stood in a long line. Waited 20 minutes for my drink, had 10 minutes to drink it. It’s fine. It’s whatever.

Anyway, the show itself was great. I’m very glad I went. I hadn’t been since 2019 and I do have a lower tolerance for crowds but it wasn’t that bad in that regard. The weather was great. Even though it’s in early October, it’s often still really, excruciatingly hot here at that time, but this year, it rained on Saturday, and that cleared everything up and dropped the temperatures down. It was still short sleeves weather and when the sun was shining on me, it was pretty warm, but when the wind blew, it was cold. Overall very comfortable.

I saw a few old favorites, including my Favorite Painting (which I admit maybe affected me less than last time but which I still enjoyed very much) [Jean Benvenuto], and the retablos [Nicario Jiminez], and the book boxes [Steven B. Levine]. But there were also a lot of really, really exciting new artists: one who did abstract paintings that I really liked [Liz Doody], one who did large-scale mood and metal sculptures that are just like exactly my thing (I loved them so much! Some of them moved! If I had a big old yard and a spare 3k lying around…) [Benjamin Peterson], one who did abstract moving sculptures out of wood that were very pleasant [Michael Costello], a photographer who did cyanotypes of trees [Jeff Kuhlman], one who did these interesting circular mixed media pieces [Kipley Meyer], and a photographer who did a lot of animal photos including a series with a black cat interacting with a stuffed mouse that I just really liked [Wendy Nelson].

My two favorites were Chris Cumbie and Josh Price, both of whom were also new. Price does animals and other figures out scrap metal and I got two pieces because I have no self-control and I haven’t gone to an art show in 4 years. And Cumbie does these really weird, creepy mixed media pieces and has a sense of humor about it. I didn’t buy anything because of just a confluence of circumstances, including seeing his booth so late (I need time between seeing something and deciding I still want to own it), being kind of intimidated, and the problem of the tyranny of choice, especially of his more affordable pieces. But like… I might still? Online? I really liked them.

After I got home, I ate, and then I took a nap, and now I’ve been up for several hours but also, like, barely. My feet hurt. My brain is tired. I feel hungry again because dinner was kind of small. I’m not prepared for work in any way but… it’s fine. It’ll be fine.

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Bravo Menu Prices

Bravo is an Italian restaurant that was founded in 1992 by Rick Doody, Chris Doody, and Phil Yandolino, who is an Executive Chef. As of recent, the restaurant chain is owned and operated by Bravo Brio Restaurant Group Inc and the firm has more than 100 restaurants across the United States in a total of 33 States. The restaurants’ opening hours are from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. and open on most holidays. They serve a variety of salads, soups, sandwiches, pizzas, pastas, desserts, and more.  Customers who plan to dine in can make reservations as well as celebrate events with Bravo such as birthdays. To top it off, the restaurant chain offers a number of rewards to customers, like rewards for dining with them, birthday gifts, and special offers. New Bravo Menu Prices; Brunch Sicilian Omelet$10.99Eggs & Bacon$9.99Stuffed French Toast$8.99Kids Scrambled Eggs$3.99Kids Fresh Fruit$1.95Bravo Menu Prices Starters (Lunch) Calamari$9.99Chicken + Polenta$6.99Crispy Shrimp Napoli$12.99Zucchini Fritti$7.99Mediterranean Olives$3.99Spinach + Artichoke Dip$10.99Crispy "Mozz" Ravioli$10.99Handmade Meatballs$9.99Margherita Flatbread$7.99Chicken + Spinach Flatbread$9.99Pepperoni Flatbread$9.99Bravo Menu Prices Garden (Lunch) House$5.99Chopped$5.99Caesar$5.99Tomato Caprese$6.99Mediterranean Vegetable$11.99Grilled Salmon$15.99Grilled Chicken$13.99Romano-Crusted Chicken$13.99Soup + Salad$5.00Bravo Menu Prices Soups (Lunch) Italian Wedding Soup$4.99Lobster Bisque$5.99Soup + Salad$5.00Bravo Menu Prices Neapolitan Pizzas (Lunch) Margherita Pizza$9.99Pepperoni Pizza$12.99Chicken + Spinach Pizza$12.99Sicilian Pizza$13.99Bravo Menu Prices Sandwiches (Lunch) Organic Meatball Sandwich$6.99Roasted Turkey Sandwich$11.99Grilled Chicken Sandwich$11.99Bravo Menu Prices Imbriolo Family Recipes (Lunch) Spaghetti Pesto$10.99Spaghetti Pomodoro$11.99Spaghetti Cacio E Pepe$11.99Spaghetti Bolognese$12.99Bravo Menu Prices Pastas (Lunch) Pasta Woozie (Chicken + Spinach Alfredo)$14.99Pasta Bravo (Chicken Rigatoni)$14.99Spaghettini + Meatballs$15.99Spaghettini + Vegetable Meatballs$13.99Sausage Tortelloni$15.99Lasagne$16.99Mezza Lasagne$13.99Shrimp Fra Diavolo$16.99Bravo Menu Prices Alfredo Fresco (Lunch) Fettucine Alfredo$11.99Primavera Alfredo$14.99Shrimp Alfredo$16.99Bravo Menu Prices Parms (Lunch) Eggplant Parmigiana$14.99Chicken Parmigiana$16.99Mezza Chicken Parmigiana$14.99Bravo Menu Prices Chicken (Lunch) Chicken Caprese$14.99Chicken Scaloppine$16.99Chicken Marsala$17.99Mezza Chicken Marsala$15.99Bravo Menu Prices Sea (Lunch) Shrimp Scampi$14.99Grilled Salmon$17.99Lobster Ravioli$18.99Shrimp + Lobster Fettuccine$21.99Bravo Menu Prices Gluten Free (Lunch) Caesar Salad$5.99Grilled Salmon Salad$14.29Shrimp Scampi$13.99Pasta Woozie$13.99Shrimp Fra Diavolo$14.79Bravo Menu Prices Kids (Lunch) Create Your Own Pasta$5.95Lasagna$6.95Cheese Ravioli$5.95Cheese Ravioli with Meat Sauce$6.95Mac & Cheese$5.95Chicken Parmesan$5.95Cheese Pizza$5.95Pepperoni Pizza$5.95Grilled Chicken$5.95Grilled Salmon$9.95Insalata Bambino$1.95Junior Caesar Salad$1.95Veggie of the Day$1.95Fresh Fruit$1.95French Fries$1.95Ice Cream Sundae$1.95Bravo Menu Prices Starters (Dinner) Calamari$9.99Chicken + Polenta$6.99Shrimp Napoli$12.99Zucchini Fritti$7.99Mediterranean Olives$3.99Spinach + Artichoke Dip$10.99Crispy "Mozz" Ravioli$10.99Handmade Meatballs$9.99Margherita Flatbread$7.99Pepperoni Flatbread$9.99Chicken + Spinach Flatbread$9.99 Garden (Dinner) House$5.99Chopped$5.99Caesar$5.99Tomato Caprese$6.99Mediterranean Vegetable$11.99Grilled Chicken$13.99Grilled Salmon$15.99Romano-Crusted Chicken Salad$13.99Bravo Menu Prices Soups (Dinner) Italian Wedding Soup$4.99Lobster Bisque$5.99Bravo Menu Prices Neapolitan Pizzas (Dinner) Margherita Pizza$9.99Pepperoni Pizza$12.99Chicken + Spinach Pizza$12.99Vegetarian Pizza$10.99Sicilian Pizza$13.99Bravo Menu Prices Imbriolo Family Recipes (Dinner) Spaghetti Pesto$11.99Spaghetti Pomodoro$12.99Spaghetti Cacio E Pepe$12.99Spaghetti Bolognese$13.99Bravo Menu Prices Pastas (Dinner) Pasta Woozie (Chicken + Spinach Alfredo)$15.99Pasta Bravo (Chicken Rigatoni)$15.99Spaghettini + Meatballs$15.99Spaghettini + Vegetable Meatballs$13.99Sausage Tortelloni$15.99Lasagne$17.99Shrimp Fra Diavolo$17.99 Alfredo Fresco (Dinner) Fettucine Alfredo$11.99Primavera Alfredo$14.99Shrimp Alfredo$16.99 Parms (Dinner) Eggplant Parmigiana$15.99Chicken Parmigiana$17.99Veal Parmigiana$21.99 Chicken (Dinner) Chicken Caprese$14.99Chicken Scaloppine$16.99Chicken Marsala$17.99 Meats (Dinner) Grilled Pork Chop$16.99Filet Mignon$25.99New York Strip$27.99 Sea (Dinner) Shrimp + Lobster Fettuccine$21.99Grilled Salmon$18.99Shrimp Scampi$15.99Lobster Ravioli$18.99 Gluten Free (Dinner) Caesar Salad$5.99Grilled Salmon Salad$15.99Caprese Salad$6.99Shrimp Scampi$15.99Pasta Bravo$15.99Pasta Woozie$15.99Shrimp Fra Diavolo$17.99Filet Mignon$25.49New York Strip$27.99 Desserts Creme Brulee$5.99Warm Chocolate Cake$6.99Caramel Mascarpone Cheesecake$6.99 Step into Bravo and experience the amazing homemade Italian inspired recipes. From pastas, to brick oven pizzas, to fresh salads, to perfectly chargrilled items, it’s an experience that will have the entire family saying “Bravo!” Begin your experience with a starter for the table like our Calamari or Flatbread. We have a wide range of wine selections from all over the world that are perfectly selected to compliment the entrée options. Finish off the meal with a sweet treat from our dessert menu, a coffee or an after‑dinner drink. Bonchon Menu Prices https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mxd0btKhjwo Boston Market Menu Prices Our locations have the perfect spaces to accommodate your next large party or private event. From options ranging from buffet style to plated and even social hour/cocktail style, we create the perfect experience for you and your party. Join us and host your next event like a birthday, bridal shower, graduation, business meeting, etc. to have the perfect dining experience catered to your specific event’s needs. Find out more details today and ask about options for your local Bravo! Braums Menu Prices Does Bravo! Italian Kitchen offer takeout?Yes, Bravo! Italian Kitchen offers takeout services.How is Bravo! Italian Kitchen rated?5/5 Read the full article

via chris tanev’s ig story (may 25, 2020)

Some lovely board games is the best and funniest series on YouTube and you can’t change my mind

via chris tanev’s instagram 5/22/20

Even though Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was a huge financial success, the controversy and mixed reception surrounding it made director Steven Spielberg feel guilty. After the mixed reception, Spielberg decided to complete the trilogy, not just to fulfill his promise of an Indiana Jones trilogy to his friend George Lucas, but “to apologize for the second one.” They both wanted to revitalize the series by bringing back the more optimistic feel of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Also due to Spielberg’s commitment to completing the trilogy, he dropped out of directing both “Big” and “Rain Man”.

Fun fact – Big was co-written by Steven’s sister, Anne Spielberg.

Lucas first suggested a “haunted mansion movie”, for which Romancing the Stone writer Diane Thomas wrote a script. Spielberg rejected the idea however, because it was too similar to “Poltergeist”, which he co-wrote and produced. Lucas then suggested the Holy Grail as an idea for the film’s prologue, to be set in Scotland. He intended the grail to have a Pagan basis, with the rest of the movie revolving around a separate Christian artifact. At first Spielberg didn’t care for the Grail idea. Lucas then completed an eight-page treatment titled Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, where Indiana Jones would battle a ghost in Scotland before finding the Fountain of Youth in Africa.

Writer Chris Columbus, who previously worked with Spielberg on Gremlins, The Goonies and Young Sherlock Holmes, was hired to write the script. His first draft, back in May of 1985, changed the main plot device to the Garden of Immortal Peaches. It would begin with Indiana battling the murderous ghost of Baron Seamus Seagrove in Scotland, and he’d later travel to Mozambique to aide Dr. Clare Clarke, who found a 200-year-old in Africa. The African would then be capture by the Nazis in a boat chase. In the script, Indiana would also die in the climactic battle, but the Monkey King resurrected him. Some of the characters in that script include a Nazi Sergeant with a mechanical arm, a stowaway student who is suicidal in love with Indiana, and a pirate who dies eating a peach because he’s not pure of heart.

That sounds like an absolutely bizarre movie. They eventually scrapped the Monkey King idea, not only because of its potentially controversial portrayal of Africans, but the script became way too unrealistic. The Monkey King script eventually leaked to the internet in 1997, and some people mistook it for an early draft for a fourth film, as the script was dated to 1995 by mistake.

Spielberg suggested introducing Indiana’s father, Henry Jones Sr. Lucas didn’t like the idea at first, thinking the Grail should be the main focus, but Spielberg convinced him that the father-son relationship worked as a brilliant metaphor for Indiana’s search for the Grail. Spielberg hired Menno Meyjes to write the script, having worked with him on “The Color Purple” and “Empire of the Sun”. Some of the early drafts include Indiana ascending to heaven after he finds the grail, and another one where he fought a demon at the Grail sight, defeating him with a dagger reading “God is King”. Both of his early drafts included a prologue with Indiana battling for Montezuma’s death mask in Mexico.

Spielberg then hired Jeffrey Boam for the next rewrite. Boam spent several weeks reworking the story with Lucas, which ended up with a treatment very similar to the final film. It was Boam’s suggestion that Indiana actually loses the artifact at the end of the movie, and that his father-son relationship would be the main point. He pushed for Indiana to get more character development than the first two films. Sean Connery, who plays Henry Jones Sr., helped add a lot of the movie’s comedy to the script, and he also suggested the prologue that made it into the final film.

On that note, part of the reason they hired Connery was because Indiana Jones was kind-of created to be a “better James Bond”. They wanted Connery to tie into that legacy. On that front, there’s only a 12 year age gap between Connery and Ford, despite playing father and son on-screen.

All of these rewrites eventually delayed the movie a full year. Instead of the usual 3-year-gap between George Lucas movies, The Last Crusade released in 1989, 4 years after The Temple of Doom. Filming locations include the Tabernas Desert in Spain, Arches National Park in Utah (United States), Bürresheim Castle near Mayen, in what was then West Germany, and Venice, Italy.

I actually went to the church seen in the movie in Venice when my family visited Italy in 2012. At least at the time, the building was being used as an art gallery. It looks completely different on the inside than the library in the movie, which was actually a set in London, England. That was also the year I started growing a moustache.

As for the temple built out of a canyon in the movie, that’s a real temple in Petra, Jordan, believed to have existed for nearly 2000 years. This movie made the ancient city again, increasing their annual tourists from hundreds to millions. Although after years of the inside being worn out by thousands of tourists a day, nobody’s allowed inside anymore.

Also, the tank seen in the movie was actually custom built for the movie, based loosely on the Tank Mark VIII, which was co-built by the Americans and the British to solve some of the mechanical faults with the earlier tanks in World War 1. That tank was planned to be used in an offensive in 1919, but only a few of them were even built before the war ended on November 11, 1918.

The movie’s prologue also refers to a number of events in the creators’ lives. When Indiana cracks a whip at the lion to defend himself, he accidentally scars his chin. Ford’s chin scar happened in a car accident when he was young. Indiana taking his name from his pet dog is a reference to the character being named after Lucas’s dog. The train carriage named “Doctor Fantasy’s Magic Caboose” is named after Executive Producer Frank Marshall’s magician stage name. That scene with the magic box with a false bottom was done in one uninterrupted shot.

Other new cast members include Alison Doody as Elsa Schnieder, an Austrian art professor who works with Indiana, but is in league with the Nazis. You’ve got Julian Glover as an American businessman and antiques collector who sends Jones on his quest to find the grail. Michael Byrne portrays Ernst Bogel, a brutal SS colonel. There’s also Kervork Malikyan as Kazim, the leader of a brotherhood dedicated to protecting the Holy Grail. Malikyan wanted to audition for the role of Sallah in Raiders of the Lost Ark, but a traffic jam delayed his meeting with Spielberg. On that note, John Rhys-Davies returns as Sallah, and Denholm Elliot returns as Marcus Brody, a colleague of Indy’s whose role is greatly expanded in this movie.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was a major success, earning $474 million worldwide on a $48 million budget.  Despite heavy competition from Tim Burton’s Batman, The Last Crusade became the highest grossing movie worldwide in 1989, breaking records in France by selling one million admissions within two and a half weeks, and breaking the 7-day box office record domestically. It’s Opening weekend Saturday gross of $11 million made it the first movie ever to earn over $10 million in one day.

It also received mostly positive reviews. The Rolling Stone called it “the wildest and wittiest Indy of them all.” Roger Ebert particularly enjoyed the prologue with Indiana as a Boy Scout, comparing it to the “style of illustration that appeared in the boys’ adventure magazines of the 1940’s”. The BBC praised the action, but said that the drama and comedy between the father and son was more memorable. Variety said in their review, “Cartoonlike Nazi villains of Raiders have been replaced by more genuinely frightening Nazis led by Julian Glover and Michael Byrne.” They also found the moment where Indy meets Hitler “chilling”. A handful of magazines panned the movie though, including The New Republic and The Village Voice. The Washington Post actually reviewed the movie twice – the first panned the movie, and the second praised it.

The movie won the Academy Award for Best Sound Effects Editing, and also received nominations for Best Original Score and Best Sound (losing to “The Little Mermaid: and “Glory” respectively).

I love this movie. This was actually the first Indiana Jones movie I saw, at my babysitter’s house almost a year before I saw the other two. You could make the argument that Raiders of the Lost Ark is overall the better of the two, but The Last Crusade is the most entertaining entry in the series. It’s full of brilliant comedy, especially once Indiana reunites with his father. Despite their dysfunctional relationship and very different levels of experience with people trying to kill them, they work instinctively well together. It’s also very convincing how they repair their relationship by the end, and they both realize how important they are to each other.

This movie also features by far the best action scene in the series – the tank battle in the desert. Considering all four movies have at least one great action scene, that’s saying a lot. Even with the sillier fight scenes like the boat chase in Venice and the train scene in the prologue, there’s still a sense of danger. You didn’t always get that in every action scene from the first two entries. This movie is also loaded with brilliant scenery, top-notch special effects and overall good cinematography.

On that note, the motorcycle chase was added after test screenings. Apparently the original version was too dialogue heavy.

The acting is top-notch across the board. Harrison Ford shows a more emotionally venerable Indy than we’ve seen before, and Connery gives what is up there with his most well-rounded performances of his career. Doody is fun as the Austrian researcher, convincing in the way she seduces Indiana early on, yet you still buy that she cares about the Jones boys on some level.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is my favourite movie in this series. Raiders of the Lost Ark is arguably the better movie with a more even tone, but The Last Crusade is just so much fun. It also delves deeper into the title character. Despite being the first movie in the series to be rated PG-13 (that rating famously didn’t exist when Temple of Doom released), it happens to be the tamest of the first three movies. This is an easy recommendation for fans of adventure movies.

Sometime later this week, we’ll conclude with the very polarizing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Then next month, I’ll be watching a handful of classic Christmas movies that I’ve never seen before.

Indiana Jones 3: The Last Crusade Even though Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was a huge financial success, the controversy and mixed reception surrounding it made director Steven Spielberg feel guilty.

Today in Bopst Booking & Design: 2016

Chris Ellison and Anita Stone Left Crazy Fans of GMB Heartbroken

Chris Ellison and Anita Stone Left Crazy Fans of GMB Heartbroken

Chris Ellison and Anita Stone’s appearance on Good Morning Britain left viewers shocked and saddened. Anita Stone shared her sadness with viewers and revealed her struggles with aphasia. Chris also explained how he attempts to imitate a showbiz reporter’s accent, a skill he was born with. Good Morning Britain viewers shared their support for the couple and the harrowing story of Chris’s struggle…

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Waitress - Jordan Fisher as Dr. Jim Pomatter, requested by anon

Birthday: April 24, 1994 (age 26)

Birth Place: Birmingham, Alabama

Theatre credits: Evan Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen), John Laurens/Philip Hamilton (Hamilton), Michael Jackson (MJ: The Musical), Mark Cohen (Rent: Live), Doody (Grease: Live). Fisher also played Seacat in the Disney Channel musical movie Teen Beach Movie and its sequel.

(Pictured on the right is Chris Diamantopoulos, who played the role in the Broadway production)

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A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - Broadway - November 24, 2013 (Lanelle's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Jefferson Mays (The D'Ysquith Family), Bryce Pinkham (Monty Navarro), Lisa O'Hare (Sibella Hallward), Lauren Worsham (Phoebe D'Ysquith), Jane Carr (Miss Marietta Shingle), Joanna Glushak (Lady Eugenia D'Ysquith and others), Eddie Korbich (Magistrate/Actor/Mr. Gorby), Jeff Kready (Tom Copley/Newsboy/Actor/Guard), Jennifer Smith (Tour Guide/Newsboy), Catherine Walker (Miss Evangeline Barley and others), Price Waldman (Barber / Detective) A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - Broadway - January 18, 2015 (Matinee) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Jefferson Mays (The D'Ysquith Family), Bryce Pinkham (Monty Navarro), Lisa O'Hare (Sibella Hallward), Catherine Walker (Phoebe D'Ysquith), Barbara Marineau (Miss Marietta Shingle), Joanna Glushak (Lady Eugenia D'Ysquith and others), Eddie Korbich (Magistrate/Actor/Mr. Gorby), Jeff Kready (Tom Copley/Newsboy/Actor/Guard), Jennifer Smith (Tour Guide/Newsboy), Price Waldman (Chief Inspector Pinckney/Newsboy/Actor) NOTES: Bryce's last show before his return in July. A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - First National Tour - September 29, 2015 (Preview) (SunsetBlvd79's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: John Rapson (The D'Ysquith Family), Kevin Massey (Monty Navarro), Kristen Beth Williams (Sibella Hallward), Adrienne Eller (Phoebe D'Ysquith), Mary VanArsdel (Miss Marietta Shingle), Kristen Mengelkoch (Lady Eugenia D'Ysquith and others), Christopher Behmke (Magistrate/Actor/Mr. Gorby), Matt Leisy (Tom Copley/Newsboy/Actor/Guard), Megan Loomis (Tour Guide/Newsboy), Ben Roseberry (Chief Inspector Pinckney/Newsboy/Actor), Lesley McKinnell (Miss Evangeline Barley and others) NOTES: Beautiful capture of the tour which launched in Chicago. There's tiny bits of washout when the camera is in wideshot due to the spotlights of the stage. Terrific cast and a wonderful tour of this production! A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - First National Tour - April 24, 2016 (SJ Bernly's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: John Rapson (The D'Ysquith Family), Kevin Massey (Monty Navarro), Kristen Beth Williams (Sibella Hallward), Adrienne Eller (Phoebe D'Ysquith), Mary VanArsdel (Miss Marietta Shingle), Megan Loomis (u/s Lady Eugenia D'Ysquith and others), Christopher Behmke (Magistrate/Actor/Mr. Gorby), Matt Leisy (Tom Copley/Newsboy/Actor/Guard), Ben Roseberry (Chief Inspector Pinckney/Newsboy/Actor), Lesley McKinnell (Miss Evangeline Barley and others) NOTES: A great capture of the tour. The cast is solid, and the audience is energetic. There are no blackouts, no obstruction, and no washout. It’s filmed in 16:9, with a mix of wides, mediums, and close-ups. The sound is excellent. Includes curtain call, John and Kevin’s BC/EFA speech, and playbill scans. A+ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Encores! - May 12, 2012 FORMAT:  MP4 (HD) CAST: Megan Hilty (Lorelei Lee), Rachel York (Dorothy Shaw), Aaron Lazar (Henry Spofford), Steven Boyer (Pierre/Louis Lemanteur), Brennan Brown (Steward/Mr. Robert Lemanteur/Gus Esmond Sr.), Stephen Buntrock (Josephus Gage), Simon Jones (Sir Francis Beekman), Deborah Rush (Mrs. Ella Spofford), Sandra Shipley (Lady Phyllis Beekman), Megan Sikora (Gloria Stark), Clarke Thorell (Gus Esmond Jr.) NOTES: Filmed from the back of the balcony. Many heads appear in the frame to start, then when the filmer gets his bearings, the video improves greatly. There are a few times (mostly at the beginning) when the filmer replaces some poor video moments with still shots. These still shots are less than 2 or 3 minutes of the entire show. Overall, a great video, and Megan Hilty is amazing Ghost: The Musical - Berlin - June, 2018 (Rumpel's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Nikolas Heiber (u/s Sam Wheat), Willemijn Verkaik (Molly Jensen), Marion Campbell (Oda Mae Brown), Andreas Bongard (Carl Bruner), Mischa Kiek (Willie Lopez), Nicolas Christahl (Subway Ghost), Klaus Seiffert (Hospital Ghost), Chasity Crisp (Clara), Denise Lucie Aquino (Louise) NOTES: Very Limited trades 3:1 Ghost: The Musical - Broadway - July 28, 2012 (SunsetBlvd79's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Richard Fleeshman (Sam Wheat), Caissie Levy (Molly Jensen), Da'Vine Joy Randolph (Oda Mae Brown), Bryce Pinkham (Carl Bruner), Michael Bladerrama (Willie Lopez), Tyler McGee (Subway Ghost) NOTES: Great HD capture of the show toward the end of the run. This is a great capture compared the previous one from March, with the changes that were made from the previews and with the original Oda Mae Brown. Despite what the reviews said, this is one show I thoroughly enjoyed and wish it had a better life on Broadway as it deserved! A- Recording with mostly zooms and a few wide shots. Great views of the effects. A Google Drive link is floating around that contains the wrong VOBs for Act 1-3 and Act 2-2; make sure you get everything! Ghost: The Musical - Hamburg - January 13, 2019 (Closing Night) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Riccardo Greco (Sam Wheat), Roberta Valentini (Molly Jensen), Marion Campbell (Oda Mae Brown), John Vooijs (Carl Bruner), Mischa Kiek (Willie Lopez), Marius Bingel (Subway Ghost), Alex Bellinkx (Hospital Ghost), Enny de Alba (Clara), Tamara Wörner (Louise) NOTES: Poor picture Quality, no zoom but captures all action and great sound Ghost: The Musical - Hamburg - January, 2019 FORMAT:  MP4 (HD) CAST: Riccardo Greco (Sam Wheat), Roberta Valentini (Molly Jensen), Marion Campbell (Oda Mae Brown), John Vooijs (Carl Bruner), Mischa Kiek (Willie Lopez), Marius Bingel (Subway Ghost), Alex Bellinkx (Hospital Ghost), Enny de Alba (Clara), Tamara Wörner (Louise) NOTES: Filmed from first row. Great capture of the full show. Ghost: The Musical - London Workshop - February 13, 2010 FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Oliver Tompsett (Sam Wheat), Natalie Mendoza (Molly Jensen), Sharon D Clarke (Oda Mae Brown) NOTES: Proshot, stand and sing performance. Ghost: The Musical - US First National Tour - January 12, 2014 (SunsetBlvd79's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Steven Grant Douglas (Sam Wheat), Katie Postotnik (Molly Jensen), Carla R Stewart (Oda Mae Brown), Robby Haltiwanger (Carl Bruner) Ghost: The Musical - West End - October 4, 2012 FORMAT:  MP4 (HD) CAST: Mark Evans (Sam Wheat), Siobhan Dillon (Molly Jensen), Sharon D Clarke (Oda Mae Brown), Andrew Langtree (Carl Bruner), Ivan de Freitas (Willie Lopez), Scott Maurice (Subway Ghost) Der Glöckner von Notre Dame - Berlin - 1999 FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Drew Sarich (Quasimodo), Ruby Rosales (Esmeralda), Norbert Lamla (Frollo), André Bauer (Phoebus), Chris Murray (Clopin), Andreas Gergen (The Archdeacon) Der Glöckner von Notre Dame - Berlin - August 14, 1999 FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Drew Sarich (Quasimodo), Ruby Rosales (u/s Esmeralda), Norbert Lamla (Frollo), André Bauer (u/s Phoebus), Chris Murray (Clopin) Godspell - Brazilian CEFTEM Production - September 4, 2015 (Papa Rose 2015's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Bruno Fraga (Jesus), Oscar Fabião (John/Judas), Bernardo Dugin, Carol Botelho, Gabi Porto, Giovana Rangel, João Telles, Laura Zennet, Lyv Ziese, Vinícius Teixeira NOTES: Excellent video of this marvelous production. Some heads at the bottom of the screen when it isn't zoomed in, but they only block the actors' feet. Gone With The Wind (Martin) - Palais Des Sports De Paris - 2003 FORMAT:  MKV (HD) CAST: Laura Presgurvic, Vincent Niclo, Sandra Léane, Dominique Magloire, Cyril Niccolaï NOTES: ProShot Grease - 8th UK Tour - October, 2019 (hitmewithyourbethshot's master) FORMAT:  MTS CAST: Will Haswell (u/s Danny Zuko), Martha Kirby (Sandy Dumbrowski), Louis Grant (Kenickie), Rhianne-Louise Mccaulsky (Betty Rizzo), Darren Bennett (Vince Fontaine), Peter Andre (Teen Angel), Jordan Abey (Doody), Ryan Anderson (Roger), Damian Buhagiar (Sonny Latierri), Eloise Davies (Frenchy), Natalie Woods (Jan), Tara Sweeting (Marty), Kevin O'Dwyer (u/s Johnny Casino) NOTES: Shot from the right mezzanine. Has some great closeups, mediums and wide shots. Some heads can obstruct at times, bu don't take away from the action. Audience is really loud and kinda badly behaved. Grease - Grease: Live (FOX Special) - January 31, 2016 (Pro-Shot's master) FORMAT:  MP4 (SD) CAST: Aaron Tveit (Danny Zuko), Julianne Hough (Sandy Dumbrowski), Carlos PenaVega (Kenickie), Vanessa Hudgens (Betty Rizzo), Jordan Fisher (Doody), Carly Rae Jepsen (Frenchy), Kether Donohue (Jan), Noah Robbins (Eugene Florczyk), Elle McLemore (Patty Simcox) NOTES: TV Special aired on FOX on Jan 31 2016 Grease - Manila, Philippines - August 15, 1995 FORMAT:  VOB (no smalls) (SD) CAST: Lea Salonga (Sandy Dumbrowski) NOTES: Quality loss Grease - Second Broadway Revival - July 28, 2007 (Preview) FORMAT:  VOB (no smalls) (SD) CAST: Max Crumm (Danny Zuko), Laura Osnes (Sandy Dumbrowski), Matthew Saldivar (Kenickie), Jenny Powers (Betty Rizzo), Stephen Buntrock (Teen Angel), Ryan Patrick Binder (Doody), Daniel Everidge (Roger), Jose Restrepo (Sonny Latierri), Kirsten Wyatt (Frenchy), Lindsay Mendez (Jan), Robyn Hurder (Marty), Allison Fischer (Patty Simcox) NOTES: Good picture and great sound with nice closeups throughout with a head in the way only once or twice for a few moments. Grey Gardens - Off-Broadway - April 30, 2006 (Closing Night) FORMAT:  MKV (SD) CAST: Christine Ebersole ("Little" Edie Beale / Young Edith Bouvier Beale), Mary Louise Wilson (Edith Bouvier Beale), Sara Gettelfinger (Young "Little" Edie Beale), Matt Cavenaugh (Joseph Patrick Kennedy Jr. / Jerry), John McMartin (J.V. Major Bouvier/Norman Vincent Beale), Bob Stillman (George Gould Strong), Michael Potts (Brooks Sr. / Brooks Jr.), Sarah Hyland (Jacqueline Bouvier), Audrey Twitchell (Young Lee Bouvier) The Grinning Man - West End - March 12, 2018 (Highlights) FORMAT:  MP4 (HD) CAST: Louis Maskell (Grinpayne), Julian Bleach (Barkilphedro), Sean Kingsley (Ursus), Sanne Den Besten (Dea), Amanda Wilkin (Josiana), Ewan Black (Trelaw/Osric), Mark Anderson (Dirry-Moir), James Alexander-Taylor (Mojo), Julie Atherton (Queen Angelica), Sophia Mackay (Mother/Quake), Jim Kitson (King Clarence) NOTES: 1920x1080 YouTube rip. Highlights, filmed at an angle from the second row with some obstructions throughout. Highlights consist of: Act 1, Labyrinth, A World Of Feeling, Only A Clown, Curtain Call. Groundhog Day - Broadway - March 16, 2017 (Preview) (NYCG8R's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Andy Karl (Phil Connors), Barrett Doss (Rita Hanson), Rebecca Faulkenberry (Nancy), John Sanders (Ned Ryerson), Raymond J Lee (Ralph), Andrew Call (Gus), Josh Lamon (Buster), Gerard Canonico (Fred), Heather Ayers (Mrs. Lancaster), William Parry (Jenson), Michael Fatica (Chubby Man), Travis Waldschmidt (Jeff), Joseph Medeiros (Deputy), Taylor Iman Jones (Lady Storm Chaser), Rheaume Crenshaw (Doris), Sean Montgomery (Sheriff), Jenna Rubaii (Joelle), Tari Kelly (Piano Teacher), Vishal Vaidya (Larry), Katy Geraghty (Debbie) NOTES: This is the first preview where the set broke down after about 15 minutes and the rest of the show was performed "concert style". All announcements (both over the speakers and onstage with the director/cast) are included in the video. In Act 2 Overture, The music stops for a second and then restarts. During the mid finale scene which is before when Phil runs around town doing “errands”, Matthew Warchus comes out and informs everyone that they will skip scenes due to the tech issue and just go to the scene of the song where Phil and Rita have their dance and from there.  

Groundhog Day - Broadway - March 20, 2017 (Preview) (NYCG8R's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Andy Karl (Phil Connors), Barrett Doss (Rita Hanson), Rebecca Faulkenberry (Nancy), John Sanders (Ned Ryerson), Raymond J Lee (Ralph), Andrew Call (Gus), Josh Lamon (Buster), Gerard Canonico (Fred), Heather Ayers (Mrs. Lancaster), William Parry (Jenson), Michael Fatica (Chubby Man), Travis Waldschmidt (Jeff), Joseph Medeiros (Deputy), Taylor Iman Jones (Lady Storm Chaser), Rheaume Crenshaw (Doris), Sean Montgomery (Sheriff), Jenna Rubaii (Joelle), Tari Kelly (Piano Teacher), Vishal Vaidya (Larry), Katy Geraghty (Debbie) NOTES: Better capture of the fully working performance than from the first preview vid. Nicely filmed in HD with clear picture and sound; complete show; great video

 Groundhog Day - Broadway - April 1, 2017 (Preview) (SunsetBlvd79's master) FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Andy Karl (Phil Connors), Barrett Doss (Rita Hanson), Rebecca Faulkenberry (Nancy), John Sanders (Ned Ryerson), Raymond J Lee (Ralph), Andrew Call (Gus), Josh Lamon (Buster), Gerard Canonico (Fred), Heather Ayers (Mrs. Lancaster), William Parry (Jenson), Michael Fatica (Chubby Man), Travis Waldschmidt (Jeff), Joseph Medeiros (Deputy), Taylor Iman Jones (Lady Storm Chaser), Rheaume Crenshaw (Doris), Sean Montgomery (Sheriff), Jenna Rubaii (Joelle), Tari Kelly (Piano Teacher), Vishal Vaidya (Larry), Katy Geraghty (Debbie) NOTES: Excellent HD capture of the new musical based on the movie. Such an amazing set and Andy gives a terrific performance. The set malfunctioned once and they had to pause and restart the song. Guys and Dolls - Fourth Broadway Revival - March 18, 1992 FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (SD) CAST: Nathan Lane (Nathan Detroit), Faith Prince (Miss Adelaide), Peter Gallagher (Sky Masterson), Josie de Guzman (Sarah Brown) Guys and Dolls - North Shore Music Theatre - October-November, 2012 (Pro-Shot's master) FORMAT:  MP4 (HD) CAST: Jonathan Hammond (Nathan Detroit), Mylinda Hull (Miss Adelaide), Kevin Vortmann (Sky Masterson), Kelly McCormick (Sarah Brown), Wayne W Pretlow (Nicely-Nicely Johnson), Jamie Ross (Arvide Abernathy), Ben Roseberry (Benny Southstreet), Jessica Sheridan (General Matilda B. Cartwright) Gypsy - West End Revival - 2015 (Pro-Shot's master) FORMAT:  MP4 (HD) CAST: Imelda Staunton (Rose), Peter Davison (Herbie), Lara Pulver (Louise), Gemma Sutton (June), Dan Burton (Tulsa), Julie Legrand (Electra), Anita Louise Combe (Tessie Tura), Louise Gold (Mazeppa), Billy Hartman (Uncle Jocko), Scarlet Roche (Baby June), Lara Wollington (Baby Louise), Patrick Romer (Pop) NOTES: Note from Blvd-on-Sunset: Two versions exist. One is broadcast by the BBC, has the logo watermark at the top left corner and is being traded at 540p. The other is released by Universal Studios in 1080p on BluRay and can be found on Amazon Prime Video (UK only) Check with traders which version they own.

HABITUAL - New Horror film coming to THEATERS and VOD NOVEMBER 13TH!

”Habitual,” is the second feature film from writer/director Johnny Hickey, known for his drug cult classic "Oxy-Morons".  For "Habitual," Hickey kept the theme in his macabre wheelhouse, but also dove much deeper into horror territory in order to capture the nightmare of the current fentanyl scourge.

A fistful of drug-popping ravers take a heavy dose of something new and unusual that leads to a hellish trip to an underground party at an abandoned asylum in Salem, Massachusetts. Plans to dance and get wasted all night drastically morph into chaotic hallucinations; as the plot unfolds, the characters fall deeper into a metaphorical mind-bending hole. Filmed at real abandoned hospitals in New England, The Habit’s walls, halls, and stairwells spell captivity for the hot young partygoers, who eventually spiral into horrifying paradoxes, blurring the line between nightmares and reality.

HANITUAL stars Johnny Hickey, Chris 'CT” Tamburello, Stanley Bruno, Ally Doody, Anthony Hoang, Jaylee Hickey, Dottie Daigle, & Emilee Fitzpatrick.

”Habitual,” is the second feature film from writer/director Johnny Hickey, known for his drug cult classic "Oxy-Morons".  For "Habitual," Hickey kept the theme in his macabre wheelhouse, but also dove much deeper into horror territory in order to capture the nightmare of the current fentanyl scourge.

Hickey wanted his second feature to be in the world of the drug epidemic, but he didn’t want it to be a true event movie [like Oxy Morons], People are experiencing a flood of bad drugs, and you’ve always heard of bad trips—that can happen with acid, ecstasy, ketamine, typically people didn’t die from those trippy designer drugs, but now you have fentanyl, you might think you’re doing ecstasy, and you don’t really know what you are doing.

The real underlying message in "Habitual" is that drugs are always going to be here whether you like it or not, and more than ever young people around the world need to think twice before taking them. Anti-drug bona fides aside, “Habitual” is no after-school special. This film is a bloodbath highlighted with intense special effects and some seriously horrifying backdrops. The crew was able to film at the abandoned Westborough State Hospital (once known as the Westborough Asylum), as well as in a comparably creepy building on the grounds of Tewksbury State Hospital's old asylum for the criminally insane. While the film targets the horror genre, it's a psychological thriller that taps into Johnny Hickey's niche storytelling of the collateral damage done by drug abuse.

funny and fake names

this list of fake names was compiled for humor. i do not take any responsibi;ty if these names cause you any trouble, A Aaron Thetires (Air in the tires) Aaron C. Reskew (Air & sea rescue) Abe Rudder (Hey brother) Achilles Punks (I'll kill these punks) Adam Bomb (Atom bomb) Adam Meway (Out of my way) Adam Sapple (Adam's apple) Adolf Oliver Nipples (Ate off all of her nipples) Ahmed Adoodie (I made a doodie - from The Simpsons) Al B. Zienya (I'll be seeing you) Al Beback (I'll be back) Al DePantzeu (I'll de-pants you) Al E. Gator (Alligator) Al Gore-Rhythm (Algorithm) Al Kaseltzer (Alka-Seltzer) Al Kickurass (I'll kick your ass) Al Killeu (I'll kill you) Al Koholic (Alcoholic - as used in The Simpsons) Al Legance (Allegiance) Al Ligorie (Allegory) Al Luminum (Aluminum) Al Nino (El Nino) Al O'Moaney (Alimony) Alan Quay (Allen key) Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll ---- anyone) Alec Tricity (Electricity) Alex Blaine Layder (I'll explain later) Alf Abet (Alphabet) Ali Barster (Alabaster) Ali Bye (Alibi) Alice Tikband (Elastic band) Alice Well (All is well) Alicia Sober (At least you're sober) Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina - as seen in Austin Powers) Amanda B. Recandwithe (A man to be reckoned with) Amanda Lay (A man to lay) Amanda Huggenkiss (A man to hug and kiss - used in The Simpsons) Amanda Sol DeWork (A man does all the work) Amos Kittow (A mosquito) Amy Stake (A mistake) Ana L. Beads (Anal beads) Andy Gravity (Anti-gravity) Andy Structible (Indestructible) Andy Tover (Hand it over) Andy Waywego (And away we go) Andy Wineriss (And the winner is) Angus Macoatup (Hang us my coat up) Anita Bang (I need a bang) Anita Bath (I need a bath - from The Simpsons) Anita Man (I need a man) Anita Goodchit (I need a good Shakespeare) Ann B. Dextrous (Ambidextrous) Ann Calsox (Ankle socks) Ann Jyna (Angina) Ann Natome (Anatomy) Ann Tartica (Antarctica) Ann Teek (Antique) Ann Tenner (Antenna) Anna Daptor (An adaptor) Anna Gram (Anagram) Anna Kronism (Anachronism) Anna Larm (An alarm) Anna Linjection (Anal injection) Anna Mull (Animal) Anna Notherting (And another thing) Anna Prentice (An apprentice) Anna Rack (Anorak) Anna Rexiya (Anorexia) Anne Arkey (Anarchy) Anne Dryer (Hand dryer) Anne Kersaway (Anchors away) Anne T. Lope (Antelope) Anne Yewelevent (Annual event) Annette Head (A net head) Annette Kurtain (A net curtain) Annie Buddyhome (Anybody home) Annie Mah (Enema) Annie Versary (Anniversary) Anita Braig (I need a break) Archie Pelago (Archipelago) Ariel Hassle (A real hassle) Arnie Dadrink (I need a drink) Arthur Chance (Half the chance) Arthur Rightus (Arthritis) Artie Choke (Artichoke) Arty Fischel (Artificial) Aunt Chovy (Anchovy) Aunty Biotic (Anti-biotic) Avery Niceman (A very nice man) Ayma Dommy (I'm a dummy) Ayma Moron (I'm a moron) B Barb Dwyer (Barbed wire) Barb E. Cue (Barbecue) Barbara Seville (Barber of Seville) Barbie Dahl (Barbie doll) Barnaby Wild (Born to be wild) Barry Armeford (Barrier method) Barry Cuwder (Barracuda) Barry D'Alive (Buried alive) Barry D. Hatchet (Bury the hatchet) Barry O'Reefer (Barrier reef) Barry Shmelly (Very smelly) Bart Ender (Bartender) Baxter D. Wall (Backs to the wall) Bea O'Problem (B.O. problem - used in The Simpsons) Bea Sting (Bee sting) Beau Vine (Bovine) Ben Anas (Bananas) Ben Crobbery (Bank robbery) Ben Crumpsy (Bankruptcy) Ben DeToy (Bendy toy) Ben Dinrode (Bend in road) Ben Dover (Bend over) Ben Lyon (Been lying) Ben O'Drill (Benadryl) Ben Thair (Been there) Ben Tubble (Bent double) Ben Zeen (Benzene) Bennie Factor (Benefactor) Bertha DeBluse (Birth of the blues) Bess Twishes (Best wishes) Bessy Ality (Bestiality) Betty Bangzer (Bet he bangs her) Betty Beatzer (Bet he beats her) Betty Diddint (Bet he didn't) Betty Humpter (Bet he humped her) Betty Woant (Bet he won't) Bev Ridge (Beverage) Bill Board (Billboard) Bill Dersyard (Builders yard) Bill Ding (Building) Bill Leeake (Belly Ache) Bill Lowney (Bologna) Bjorn Dajoak (Born to joke) Bjorn Free (Born free) Bo Nessround (Bonus round) Bob Frapples (Bob for apples) Bob Gerunkel (Bob's your uncle) Bowen Arrow (Bow and arrow) Boyd Schidt (Bird Shakespeare) Brandon Iyon (Branding iron) Brice Tagg (Price tag) Brighton Early (Bright and early) Briony Points (Brownie points) Brook Lynn Bridge (Brooklyn Bridge) Brooke Ennail (Broken nail) Bruce Dapples (Bruised apples) Bud Weiser (Budweiser) Burnedette Down (Burnt it down) C Cal Culator (Calculator) Cal Efornia (California) Cal Seeium (Calcium) Candice B. DePlace (Can this be the place) Candice B. Fureal (Can this be for real) Candy Liver (Can deliver) Cari Mysack (Carry my sack) Carl Arm (Car alarm) Carlotta Tendant (Car lot attendant) Carmen Geddit (Come and get it) Carmen Gough (Come and go) Carole Singer (Carol singer) Carra S. Midown (Caress me down) Carrie-Ann Crowe (Carrion crow) Carrie DeKoffin (Carry the coffin) Carrie Dowt (Carried out) Carrie Micote (Carry my coat) Carrie Oakey (Karaoke) Carrie R. Bags (Carrier bags) Carrie Smattick (Charismatic) Carson O. Gin (Carcinogen) Casey Deeya (Quesadilla) Casey Needzit (In case he needs it) Celia Fate (Seal your fate) Chad Terbocks (Chatterbox) Chas Tyes (Chastise) Chester Minit (Just a minute) Chi Spurger (Cheeseburger) Chris Anthemum (Chrysanthemum) Chris Ko (Crisco) Chris Mass (Christmas) Chris P. Bacon (Crispy bacon) Chris P. Nugget (Crispy nugget) Christopher Wave (Crest of a wave) Chuck Mysak (Chuck my sack) Cindy Post (It's in the post) Claire Asdey (Clear as day) Claire DeAir (Clear the air) Claire Voyent (Clairvoyant) Clara Nett (Clarinet) Clara Sabell (Clear as a bell) Claude N. Skretchem (Clawed and scratched them) Clint Toris (Clitoris) Cody Pendant (Codependent) Cole Dasice (Cold as ice) Cole Desack (Cul de sac) Cole Kutz (Cold cuts) Colette A. Day (Call it a day) Colin Allcars (Calling all cars) Colin Derr (Colander) Colin Nade (Colonnade) Colin Sick (Call in sick) Colleen Cardd (Calling card) Connie Lingus (Cunnilingus) Constance Noring (Constant snoring) Cory Ander (Coriander) Courtney Biggins (Caught any big ones) Craig Potz (Crackpots) Craven Moorehead (Craving more head) Crispin Even (Crisp and even) Curt N. Rodd (Curtain rod) Curt Zee (Curtsy) Curtis E. Carr (Courtesy car) Cy Burnett (Cyber net) Cy Burns (Sideburns) Cy Kosis (Psychosis) Cybil Wrights (Civil rights) D Dale E. Bread (Daily bread) Dan D. Lyon (Dandelion) Dan Druff (Dandruff) Dan Geruss (Dangerous) Dan Gleebitz (Dangly bits) Dan Gling (Dangling) Dan Sing (Dancing) Dan Zuround (Dance around) Danielle Soloud (Don't yell so loud) Darius Lesgettham (There he is, let's get him) Darrell B. Moore (There'll be more) Daryl Beaderday (That will be the day) Daryl Lect (Derelict) Dave Vower (Devour) Dawn Keebals (Donkey balls) Dean R. Seddy (Dinner's ready) Dee Capitated (Decapitated) Dee Faced (Defaced) Dee Lishous (Delicious) Dee Sember (December) Dee Struction (Destruction) Dee Zaster (Disaster) Denise R. Knockin (The knees are knocking) Denise R. Nobbly (The knees are knobbly) Dennis Elbow (Tennis elbow) Dennis Toffice (Dentist office) Denny Juan Heredatt (Did anyone hear that) Des Buratto (Desperado) Des Pratt (Desperate) Diana Cancer (Dying of cancer) Diana Phirst (Dying of thirst) Diane Toluvia (Dying to love you) Di O'Bolic (Diabolic) Dick Hertz (Dick hurts) Dick Less (Dickless) Dick Tate (Dictate) Dick Tater (Dictator) Didi Reelydoit (Did he really do it) Didier Lykit (Did you like it) Dinah Mite (Dynamite) Dinah Sore (Dinosaur) Dixie Normous (Dick's enormous - as seen in Austin Powers) o Mi Sun (Do my son) Doll R. Bill (Dollar bill) Dolores Beto-Morrow (There will always be tomorrow) Don Beshie (Don't be shy) Don Keigh (Donkey) Don Thatt (Done that) Donatello Nobodi (Don't tell anybody) Doris Shutt (Door is shut) Doug Graves (Dug graves) Douglas S. Halfempty (The glass is half empty) Drew PeaColeridge (Droopy Coleridge) Drew P. Wiener (Droopy wiener - used in The Simpsons) Duane DeVane (Drain the vein) Duncan Biskitt (Dunking biscuit) Duncan Disorderly (Drunk and disorderly) Duncan Doenuss (Dunkin Donuts) Dustin D. Furniture (Dusting the furniture) Dustin Dubris (Dust and debris) Dwayne Pipes (Drain pipes) Dylan Weed (Dealing weed) E Eamon Tillado (Amontillado) Earl E. Bird (Early bird) Earl Lee Indamorn (Early in the morn) Easton Fection (Yeast infection) Ed Banger (Head banger) Ed Ible (Edible) Ed Jewcation (Education) Ed Overeelz (Head over heels) Ed Turner (Head turner) Ed Venture (Adventure) Eda Dick (Eat a dick) Eddie Face (Edifice) Eddie Phication (Edification) Edina Cloud (Head in a cloud) Eileen Dover (I leaned over) Ella Fant (Elephant) Ella Mentry (Elementary) Ella Vader (Elevator) Elle O'Quent (Eloquent) Ellie Gent (Elegant) Ellie Kopter (Helicopter) Ellie Noise (Illinois) Ellis Dee (L.S.D.) Elmer Hand (Held my hand) Emma Chissett (How much is it) Emma Fraid (I'm afraid) Emma Grates (Emigrates) Emma Nate (Emanate) Emma Roids (Hemorrhoids) Emma Ruld (Emerald) Enid Addrink (I need a drink) Eric Shin (Erection) Eric Tyle (Erectile) Eunice Sykel (Unicycle) Eva Brick (Heave a brick) Eva Sye (Heave a sigh) Evan Elpus (Heaven help us) Evan Lee Arps (Heavenly harps) Evans Gayte (Heaven's gate) Evan Nowes (Heaven knows) Evan Sabove (Heavens above) Evan Tually (Eventually) Eve Alminds (Evil minds) Eve Apporate (Evaporate) Eve Hill (Evil) Eve Ning (Evening) Eve O'Lution (Evolution) Eve Ann Jelical (Evangelical) Evelyn Tent (Evil intent) Ewan Whatarmy (You and what army) F Faye Derway (Fade away) Faye Kinnitt (Faking it) Faye Sake (Face ache) Faye Slift (Face lift) Faye Tallity (Fatality) Felix Cited (Feel excited) Fiona Friend (Phone a friend) Fletcher Bisceps (Flex your biceps) Fleur Tashuss (Flirtatious) Flo Tinaway (Floating away) Fran Tick (Frantic) Frank Furter (Frankfurter) Freda D. Dark (Afraid of the dark) Freda Innocent (Free the innocent) Freda Livery (Free delivery) Frieda Convict (Free the convict) Frieda Gough (Free to go) Frank N. Stein (Frankenstein) G Gabe Barr (Gay bar) Gary Oakie (Karaoke) Gene E. Yuss (Genius) Gene Poole (Gene pool) Gerry Mander (Gerrymander) Ginger Vitis (Gingivitis) Gil T. Azell (Guilty as Hell) Gill Tedd (Jilted) Gladys Canby (Glad as can be) Gladys Eeya (Glad to see you) Gladys Friday (Glad it's Friday) Gordon Nomes (Garden gnomes) Grace Quirrell (Gray squirrel) Gunther Lunch (Gone for lunch) Gus Comzadia (Gas comes out of you) Gus Tofwynde (Gust of Wind) Guy Dinlite (Guiding light) Guy Wyre (Guy wire) H Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah) Hal Seyan (Halcyon) Hammond Eggs (Ham and eggs) Hank E. Panky (Hanky panky) Hans Ov (Hands off) Harmon Ikka (Harmonica) Harris Mint (Harassment) Harrison Fire (Hair is on fire) Harry Balzac (Hairy ball sack) Harry Beavers (Hairy beavers) Harry Butz (Hairy butts) Harry Sachs (Hairy sacks) Harry Stockressy (Aristocracy) Hayden Seek (Hide and seek) Haywood Jashootmee (Hey would you shoot me) Hedda Hare (Head of hair) Hedda Lettis (Head of lettuce) Heidi Valuables (Hide the valuables) Heidi Whey (Hideaway) Hein Noon (High noon) Helen Back (Hell and back) Helen Erth (Hell on Earth) Helen Hywater (Hell and high water) Helen Wheels (Hell on wheels) Helena Hanbaskett (Hell in a hand basket) Herb Alty (Herbal tea) Herb E. Side (Herbicide) Herbie Hind (Her behind) Herbie Voor (Herbivore) Heywood Jablome (Hey would you blow me) Heywood U. Cuddleme (Hey would you cuddle me - from The Simpsons) Hilda Clime (Hill to climb) Ho Lin Wan (Hole in one) Holden McGroin (Holding my groin) Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn) Holly Wood (Hollywood) Homer Sexual (Homosexual - heard in The Simpsons) Honor Mission (On a mission) Hu Pflung Poo (Who flung poo) Hope Lescase (Hopeless case) Horace Cope (Horoscope) Howard I. No (How would I know) Howe D. Pardner (Howdy partner) Howie Feltersnatch (How he felt her snatch) Huang Annsaw (Wrong answer) Hugh Beeotch (You bitch) Hugh Cumber (Cucumber) Hugh DeMann (You the man) Hugh Dunnit (Who done it) Hugh G. Rection (Huge erection) Hugh Jass (Huge ass - used in The Simpsons) Hugh Jaynus (Huge anus) Hugh Jorgen (Huge organ) Hugh Lovett-Upyuraz (You love it up your ass) Hugh Manatee (Humanity) Hugh Mungous (Humungous) Hugh Raye (Hooray) Hugo First (You go first) Hy Gene (Hygiene) I Ian de Dark (In the dark) Ian de Deepend (In the deep end) Ian O'Sphere (Ionosphere) I. C. Wiener (Icy wiener - used in The Simpsons and Futurama) I. C. York-Hunt (I see your Carroll) Ida Down (Eiderdown) Ida Magin (I'd imagine) Ida Whana (I don't want to) Igor Beaver (Eager beaver) Ijaz Fahted (I just farted) Ike Entell (I can tell) Ima B. Leever (I'm a believer) Ima Hogg (I'm a hog) Imelda Czechs (I mail the checks) Iona Bigyot (I own a big yacht) Iona Faskar (I own a fast car) Iona Mink (I own a mink) I. P. Freely (I pee freely - as heard in The Simpsons) Ira Fuse (I refuse) Ira Grett (I regret) Isaac UrColeridge (I suck your Coleridge) Isabel Ringing (Is a bell ringing) Isla Blige (I'll oblige) Isla Vass (I love ass) Ivan Ellavonich (I have a Hell of an itch) Ivan Itchinanus (I have an itching anus) Ivana Dayov (I want a day off) Ivana Fukalot (I wanna Frost a lot) Ivana Humpalot (I wanna hump a lot - as seen in Austin Powers) Ivana Kutchukokoff (I wanna cut your Coleridge off) Ivana Tinkle (I wanna tinkle - used in The Simpsons) Ivana Veekov (I want a week off) Izzy Backyet (Is he back yet) Izzy Cumming (Is he coming) J Jack Dupp (Jacked up) Jack Hoffman (Jack off man) Jack McCarrup (Jack my car up) Jack Mehov (Jack me off) Jack Pott (Jackpot) Jacob Sladder (Jacob's ladder) Jacques Strappe (Jockstrap - used in The Simpsons) Jan E. Torr (Janitor) Jan U. Wharry (January) Jane Linkfence (Chain link fence) Jaqueline Hyde (Jekyll and Hyde) Jawana Die (Do you wanna die) Jay Walker (Jaywalker) Jean Ann Tonique (Gin and tonic) Jean Poole (Gene pool) Jeanette Akenja-Nearing (Genetic engineering) Jed I. Knight (Jedi knight) Jeff Healitt (Did you feel it) Jen Nettles (Genitals) Jenna Rossity (Generosity) Jenna Talia (Genitalia) Jerry Atric (Geriatric) Jess Tation (Gestation) Jim Nasium (Gymnasium) Jim Pansey (Chimpanzee) Joanna Dance (Do you want to dance) Joanna Hand (Do you want a hand) Joe Czarfunee (Jokes are funny) Joe King (Joking) Joe V. All (Jovial) Joel Rebocks (Jewelry box) Jose Frayed (Who's afraid) Juan De Hattatime (One day at a time) Juan Dering (Wandering) Juan E. Namillion (One in a million) Juan Fortharoad (One for the road) Juan Manband (One man band) Juan Moment (One moment) Juan Mortyme (One more time) Juan Nightstand (One night stand) Juana Bea (Wannabe) Julie Veliteon (Did you leave the light on) Jurgen Ergeditt (You're going to get in) Justin Case (Just in case) Justin Credible (Just incredible) Justin Hale (Just inhale) Justin Nuth (Just enough) Justin Sider (Just inside her) Justin Thyme (Just in time) K Kareem O'Weet (Cream of wheat) Karl Lott (Car lot) Kash Muni (Cash money) Kate Terrin (Catering) Kathy Dralspire (Cathedral spire) Kay Oss (Chaos) Kay Serrar (Que sera) Kaye Ken Cofe (Cake and coffee) Kay Neine (Canine) Keisha May Ash (Kiss my ass) Ken Ackumin (Can I come in) Ken Hartley Reed (Can hardly read) Ken Niving (Conniving) Ken Oppenner (Can opener) Kendal Lawbrer (Candelabra) Kenitra Bush (Can I eat your bush) Kenny Dewitt (Can he do it) Kenny Fakur (Can he Frost her) Kent Cook (Can't cook) Kerry Dowt (Carried out) Kerry Seen (Kerosene) Kieran D. Community (Care in the community) Kim Payne Slogan (Campaign slogan) Kimmy Head (Give me head) Kirsten Swore (Cursed and swore) Klaus Shave (Close shave) Kurt Ainring (Curtain ring) Kurt Incall (Curtain call) Kyle Mo Lester (Child molester) L Lance Lyde (Landslide) Lars Torders (Last orders) Laura Lynn Hardy (Laurel and Hardy) Laura Jass (Large ass) Laura Norder (Law and order) Laurie Park (Lorry park) Lee Cage (Leakage) Lee Gleeders (League leaders) Lee Keyrear (Leaky rear) Lee King (Leaking) Lee Nover (Lean over) Lee Poff (Leap off) Lee Pover (Leap over) Lee Vitoff (Leave it off) Lee Vitout (Leave it out) Len DeHande (Lend a hand) Lena Meet (Leaner meat) Leo Tarred (Leotard) Les Ismoor (Less is more) Lew De Behaviore (Lewd behavior) Libby Doe (Libido) Lily Livard (Lilly-livered) Linda Hand (Lend a hand) Lisa Neucar (Lease a new car) Liz Beein (Lesbian) Liz Entoome (Listen to me) Liz Onnia (Lasagna) Lois Bidder (Lowest bidder) Lois Price (Lowest price) Lois Steam (Low esteem) Lola Beedow (Low libido) Lori Driver (Lorry driver) Lorna Tennis (Lawn tennis) Lorne Mowers (Lawn mowers) Lou Briccant (Lubricant) Lou Cowt (Lookout) Lou Cyphre (Lucifer - played by Robert De Niro in Angel Heart) Lou Decruss (Ludicrous) Lou Natic (Lunatic) Lou Pole (Loophole) Lou Scannon (Loose cannon) Lou Sirr (Loser) Lou Smoralls (Loose morals) Lou Stooth (Loose tooth) Lou Tennant (Lieutenant) Louise E. Anna (Louisiana) Lowden Clear (Loud and clear) Lucy Lastic (Loose elastic) Luke Adamgo (Look at him go) Luke Admadick (Look at my dick) Luke Atmyass (Look at my ass) Luke Over (Look over) Luna Tick (Lunatic) Lwellan Dowd (You well endowed) Lydia Bin (Lid of your bin) Lyle Ike Adogg (Lie like a dog) Lynn C. Dole (Linseed oil) Lynn Guini (Linguini) Lynn Meabuck (Lend me a buck) M Mabel Syrup (Maple syrup) Madame Crotch (My damn crotch) Maddi Gascar (Madagascar) Madge Ority (Majority) Madka Owdiseez (Mad cow disease) Major Jump (Made you jump) Major Lee Gay (Majorly gay) Major Luke Twice (Made you look twice) Mal Adjusted (Maladjusted) Mal Twiskie (Malt whiskey) Mal Odruss (Malodorous) Malcolm Tent (Malcontent) Mand Lynne (Mandolin) Mandy Lifeboats (Man the lifeboats) Manuel Labor (Manual labor) Marcus Abscent (Mark us absent) Marge Innastraightline (March in a straight line) Marge Noferror (Margin of error) Marian Furlove (Marrying for love) Marian Furmunny (Marrying for money) Marian Haste (Marry in haste) Marion Money (Marrying money) Marius Quick (Marry us quick) Mark Mywords (Mark my words) Mark Smann (Marksman) Mark Z. Spot (Mark the spot) Marsha Dimes (March of Dimes) Marsha Mallow (Marshmallow) Martha Fokker (mother-Froster) Mary Christmas (Merry Christmas) Mary Gold (Marigold) Mary Ott (Marriot) Mary Thonn (Marathon) Mary Torrius (Meritorious) Mary Wana (Marijuana) Master Bating (Masturbating) Matt Ress (Mattress) Matt Schtick (Matchstick) Matt Tromeny (Matrimony) Matt Trustain (Mattress stain) Maude Yuller (Modular) Maureen Clined (More inclined) Maureen Portantly (More importantly) Maureen Tresting (More interesting) Max E. Mumm (Maximum) Max E. Pad (Maxipad) May B. Dunn (May be done) May Elman (Mailman) May I. Tutchem (May I touch them) May O'Nays (Mayonnaise) Maya Buttreeks (My butt reeks - from The Simpsons) Maya Magination (My imagination) Maya Normousbutt (My enormous butt - from The Simpsons) Megan Bacon (Making bacon or egg and bacon) Mel Lowe (Mellow) Mel N. Colly (Melancholy) Mel O'Dramer (Melodrama) Mel Practiss (Malpractice) Mel Tingpot (Melting pot) Melissa Tothis (Ma listen to this) Michael Toris (My clitoris) Michelle Lynn (Michelin) Mick Stubbles (Mixed doubles) Mick Stup (Mixed up) Mick Zupps (Mix ups) Midas Well (Might as well) Mike Hawk (My Coleridge) Mike Hunt (My Carroll) Mike Litteriss (My clitoris) Mike Ockhurts (My Coleridge hurts) Mike Ocksmall (My Coleridge's small) Mike Oxlong (My Coleridge's long) Mike Rohsopht (Microsoft) Mike Rotch (My crotch - from The Simpsons) Mike Rotchburns (My crotch burns) Mike Rowave (Microwave) Mike Rufone (Microphone) Mike Yermindup (Make your mind up) Miles A. Head (Miles ahead) Miles Prower (Miles per hour) Milly Meter (Millimeter) Milly Terry (Military) Minnie Mumwage (Minimum wage) Minnie Skurt (Miniskirt) Minnie Stree (Ministry) Miss Alanius (Miscellaneous) Miss Bea Haven (Misbehaving) Miss L. Tow (Mistletoe) Miss T. Eyes (Misty eyes) Miss Terri Novelle (Mystery novel) Miss U. Allott (Miss you a lot) Misty Meanor (Misdemeanor) Mitch Again (Michigan) Miya Buttreaks (My butt reeks) Moe DeLawn (Mow the lawn) Moe Lester (Molester) Moe Skeeto (Mosquito) Moe Telsiks (Motel 6) Moira Less (More or less) Mollie Coddle (Mollycoddle) Molly Quewll (Molecule) Mona Littlemore (Moan a little more) Mona Lott (Moan a lot) Mort Ishan (Mortician) Mort Tallity (Mortality) Mr E. Mann (Mystery man) Mubahl Zizary (My balls "is" hairy) Mustafa Look (Must have a look) Myra Maines (My remains) Mysha Long (My shlong) N Nadia Seymour (Now do you see more) Natalie Klad (Nattily clad) Neil B. Forme (Kneel before me) Neil Downe (Kneel down) Neil Efare (Nearly there) Neil Sonweels (Meals on wheels) Nesta Vipas (Nest of vipers) Neve Adda (Nevada) Nick L. Andime (Nickel and dime) Nick O'Teen (Nicotine) Nick Ovtime (Nick of time) Nick Rofilia (Necrophilia) Nida Lyte (Need a light) Noah Count (No account) Noah Vale (No avail) Noah Zark (Noah's ark) Nora Bone (Gnaw a bone) Norma Stitz (Enormous tits) O Olav Myfriendsaregay (All of my friends are gay - from The Simpsons) Oliver Bush (I love her bush) Oliver Clothesoff (All of her clothes off - from The Simpsons) Oliver DaPlaz (All over the place) Oliver Sudden (All of a sudden) Ollie Churpuzzi (I'll eat your Poe) Ollie Tabooger (I'll eat a booger - from The Simpsons) Ophelia Pane (I feel your pain) Ophelia Titsoff (I'll feel your tits off) Opie Umsbad (Opium's bad) Orla Nophin (All or nothing) Orson Cart (Horse and cart) Orson Ounds (Horse and hounds) Otto B. Kilt (Ought to be killed) Otto Matik (Automatic) Owen Monie (Owing money) P Paige Turner (Page turner) Pam Purd (Pampered) Pandora Spocks (Pandora's box) Pat Mebutt (Pat my butt) Pat Taytow (Potato) Pat Tranage (Patronage) Patty O'Furniture (Patio furniture) Paul Bearer (Pallbearer) Paul MyColeridge (Pull my Coleridge) Pearl E. Gates (Pearly gates) Penny Foram (Penny for them) Penny Less (Penniless) Penny Sillen (Penicillin) Peppy Roni (Pepperoni) Percy Cute (Persecute) Percy Veer (Persevere) Perry Dice (Paradise) Perry Docks (Paradox) Perry Scope (Periscope) Perry Shute (Parachute) Perry Winckel (Periwinkle) Pete Zahutt (Pizza Hut) Pete Zaria (Pizzeria) Peter Pantz (Peed her pants) Phil Atio (Fellatio) Phil Anders (Philanders) Phil Itafiche (Filet of fish) Phil Maglossop (Fill my glass up) Phil Maweeney (Feel my weenie) Phil McCracken (Fill my crack in) Phil MeBrest (Feel my breast) Phil Mianus (Fill my anus) Phil Officer (Philosopher) Philip Eno (Filipino) Philippa Bucket (Fill up a bucket) Phyllis Sofickle (Philosophical) Phyllis Stein (Philistine) Phyuck Yiu (Frost you) P. I. Staker (Piss-taker) Polly C. Holder (Policy holder) Poppy Cox (PoppyColeridge) Pyuck Meei (Frost me) Q Quimby Ingmeen (Quit being mean) Quinn T. Senshall (Quintessential) Quinton Chingme (Quit touching me) Quinton Plates (Contemplates) R R. Soul (Arsehole) Rachel DeScrimination (Racial discrimination) Randy Holeweigh (Ran the whole way) Ray Deator (Radiator) Ray Kupleeves (Rake up leaves) Ray Ling (Railing) Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation) Ray Neday (Rainy day) Ray Pugh (Rape you) Ray Scarr (Racecar) Ray Sersharpe (Razor sharp) Ray Sleeder (Race leader) Ray Strack (Racetrack) Reg Oyce (Rejoice) Renee Sance (Renaissance) Rex Cars (Wrecks cars) Rhea Gretabble (Regrettable) Rhoada Hoarse (Rode a horse) Rhoda Camel (Rode a camel) Rhoda Wynner (Rode a winner) Rick Kleiner (Recliner) Rick O'Shea (Ricochet) Rick Ottersheese (Ricotta cheese) Ricky T. Bridge (Rickety bridge) Rip Tile (Reptile) Rita Book (Read a book) Rob O. Flavin (Riboflavin) Robbie Ree (Robbery) Robin Emblind (Robbing them blind) Robyn Banks (Robbing banks) Rocca Vages (Rock of ages) Roland Buter (Roll and butter) Ron A. Muck (Run amok) Ron Devue (Rendezvous) Ron Osserus (Rhinoceros) Rory Motion (Raw emotion) Rosa Teeth (Rows of teeth) Ross Terr (Roster) Ross Trum (Rostrum) Rowan Boate (Rowing boat) Ruben MyColeridge (Rubbing my Coleridge) Ruby Kohn (Rubicon) Rudi Day (Rue the day) Rudi Mentry (Rudimentary) Rudy Nuff (Rude enough) Rufus Leakin (Roof is leaking) Russ Tinayle (Rusty nail) Russell Ingleaves (Rustling leaves) Ruth Tyler (Roof Tiler) S Sabina Pleasure (It's been a pleasure) Sadie Word (Say the word) Sal Ami (Salami) Sal Livver (Saliva) Sal T. Penuz (Salty peanuts or salty penis) Sally Mander (Salamander) Sam Aritan (Samaritan) Sam Manilla (Salmonella) Sam Owser (Samosa) Sam Pull (Sample) Sam Urai (Samurai) Sam Widge (Sandwich) Samson Knight (Samsonite) Sarah Bellam (Cerebellum) Sarah Nader (Serenade her) Sarah Tonin (Serotonin) Sasha Waist (Such a waste) Scott Chansoder (Scotch and soda) Scott Chegg (Scotch egg) Scott Shawn DeRocks (Scotch on the rocks) Seaman Stains (Semen stains) Seelin Phan (Ceiling fan) See Mihn (Semen) Selma Boddy (Sell my body) Sergovia Selv (Sick of yourself) Seth La Pod (Cephalopod) Seymour Asses (See more asses - from Futurama) Seymour Buttz (See more butts - from The Simpsons) Seymour Cox (See more Coleridges) Shanda Lear (Chandelier) Sheeza Freak (She's a freak) Sheila Blidge (She'll oblige) Shelia Mazeyer (She'll amaze you) Sheila Tack (She'll attack) Sheri Cola (Cherry cola) Sherman Wadd Evver (Sure man whatever) Shirley Knott (Surely not) Shirley U. Care (Surely you care) Sid Down (Sit down) Sir Fin Waves (Surfin' waves) Sir John Sands (Surgeon's hands) Sir Kit Breaker (Circuit breaker) Sonia Shew (It's on your shoe) Stacey Rhect (Stays erect) Stan Dandeliver (Stand and deliver) Stan Deasy (Stand easy) Stan Dingproude (Standing proud) Stan Doffich (Standoffish) Stan Dupp (Stand up) Steve Adore (Stevedore) Stu Padasso (Stupid Emerson) Stu Pid (Stupid) Sue Case (Suitcase) Sue Denley (Suddenly) Sue Donim (Pseudonym) Sue E. Side (Suicide) Sue Flay (Souffle) Sue Perrman (Superman) Sue Render (Surrender) Sue Ridge (Sewage) Sum Ting Wong (Something wrong) Sum Yung Gai (Some young guy) Susan Orty-Boyden (Who's a naughty boy then) T Tamara Nethercombs (Tomorrow never comes) Tanya Hide (Tan your hide) Tara Newhall (Tear a new hole) Tate Urchips (Tater chips) Teresa Crowd (Three's a crowd) Teresa Green (Trees are green) Terry Bulsmel (Terrible smell) Terry Cotter (Terracotta) Terry Fie (Terrify) Terry Ryst (Terrorist) Terry Torrie (Territory) Tess Tickle (Testicle) Tia Dropps (Teardrops) Tim Burr (Timber) Tim Lee Intervention (Timely intervention) Tim Panny (Timpani) Tina Beense (Tin of beans) Tina See (Tennessee) Titus Addrum (Tight as a drum) Titus Balzac (Tightest ball sack) Titus Canby (Tight as can be) Titus Zell (Tight as Hell) Toby Hynde (Tow behind) Toby Paidfer (To be paid for) Tom Bowler (Tombola) Tom Martow (Tomato) Torah Hyman (Tore a hymen) Travis Tay (Travesty) Tristan Shout (Twist and shout) Trudy Lite (True delight) Tudick Synsider (Two dicks inside her) Ty Dallwave (Tidal wave) Ty Imup (Tie him up) Ty Priter (Typewriter) Ty Tannick (Titanic) Ty Tass (Tightass) Tyrone Shoes (Tie your own shoes) U Uliqa M'Diq (You lick my dick) Ullee Daway (You lead the way) Ulrika Garlick (You'll reek of garlic) Una Brau (Unibrow - from Austin Powers) Upton O'goode (Up to no good) Ura Snotball (You are a snotball - from The Simpsons) Ustrokeet Islewatch (You stroke it I'll watch) V Val Crow (Velcro) Val Haller (Valhalla) Val Lay (Valet) Vasilly Sonovabich (That silly son of a bitch) Vera Cross (Veer across) Vic Tree (Victory) Vinny Gerr (Vinegar) Viv Atious (Vivacious) Vlad Tire (Flat tire) W Walt Sing (Waltzing) Walter Mellon (Watermelon) Walter Wallcarpet (Wall to wall carpet) Wanda Dorff (Wandered off) Wanda Lottie Wray (Won the lottery) Wanda Phul (Wonderful) Wanda Rinhands (Wandering hands) Warren Peace (War and peace) Warren Tease (Warranties) Wat Apistle (Water pistol) Wayne Dear (Reindeer) Wayne Dwops (Raindrops) Wayne Kerr (Wanker) Wayne Ningmoon (Waning moon) Wendy Windblows (Where the wind blows) Wi Phukem Yung (We Frost them young) Will D. Beest (Wildebeest) Will O'Patten (Willow pattern) Will Ting (Wilting) Will U. Jackmeov (Will you jack me off) Wille Belong (Will he be long) Willie Byter (Willy biter or will he bite her) Willie Gofar (Will he go far) Willie Makeit (Will he make it) Willy O'Wowntey (Will he or won't he) Willy Tert (Will it hurt) Wilma Fingerdoo (Will my finger do) Wilma Leggrowbach (Will my leg grow back) Winnie Bago (Winnebago) Winnie DiPoo (Winnie the Pooh) Woody U. No (What do you know) X Xavier Breff (Save your breath) Xavier Money (Save your money) Xavier Onassis (Save your own asses) Xavier Zelf (Save yourself) Y Yerma Wildo (Your ma will do) Yul B. Allwright (You'll be alright) Yule B. Sorry (You'll be sorry) Z Zeke N. Yeshallfind (Seek and you shall find) Zelda Kowz (Sell the cows) Zoltan Pepper (Salt and pepper)

It Read-through Chapters One and Two, “After the Flood” and “After the Festival”

Starting off strong with child death! Yaaaay! 

Warning for gore, death, homophobia, hate crimes, sewer clowns, and juvenile humor. 

Explanation of what I’m doing here.

The first chapter is pretty much exactly like the first part of the 2017 movie, with a few very key differences. 

For one, Bill is a few years younger here than he is in the first movie. In the movie the kids are around thirteen or so and they make note of this a couple times. In this Bill is only ten, therefore he’s eleven for the rest of the child half of the novel. Georgie is still only six. 

For another, when Pennywise attacks Georgie he doesn’t drag Georgie into the sewers, and the neighbors respond to his screams almost immediately. It’s outright stated that forty-five seconds after Georgie’s first scream a man named Dave Gardener finds Georgie’s body, already dead, arm torn from its socket. People run outside when they hear the scream, they witness Georgie by the storm drain, they know of the attack. In the movie he’s “gone missing”, largely presumed dead, but here Bill and his family know from the outset that Georgie is dead and died violently at that. There is a mention by King that the town tends to get through terrible events and then pretend they never happened in order to get over them, and I think in the film they made this more overt by having the few neighbors around ignore what happens to Georgie. 

I feel like for the sake of the liveblog I should go over what happens in the book for the unaware, but it almost feels superfluous for this first chapter. Everyone knows Georgie dies at the hands of Pennywise, at the claws of It. Even the book lets it slip very early on that Georgie is slated for death, only a few paragraphs in. 

Let’s rewind and properly explain. The book begins with George Denbrough running after a newspaper boat in the rain. George, or Georgie as he is affectionately called, is the younger brother of Bill Denbrough, one of our main characters, if not the leading man. Bill is sick with the flu, so he can’t go and play with Georgie in the rain, but he builds the kid a paper boat all the same, and seals it with paraffin wax to keep it watertight. A lot of the first chapter is devoted to two things: showing the bond Bill and his brother share, and showing that Georgie is already somewhat aware of It’s presence. 

Bill sends Georgie down to the cellar to get the wax, and Georgie goes, but with extreme trepidation. He pictures monsters waiting to snatch him up in the cellar, and King here goes in depth into the smell of the cellar, a smell of “dirt and wet and long-gone vegetables”, the stink of rot, which is the smell of the monster, “the smell of It, crouched and lurking and ready to spring. A creature which would eat anything but which was especially hungry for boymeat.”

Yep. “Boymeat”. Right up there with “manflesh” in terms of descriptive vocabulary. 

But basically, on some level, Georgie knows there’s something lurking in the dark for him, and he knows it’s a childish fear but he can’t quite shake his instinct. 

Sidenote: there’s a reference to the Turtle fairly early on! Georgie finds a flat can of Turtle wax, and stares at the logo for a good thirty seconds. Which, by the way, probably looked like this: 

Anyways, Georgie finds the paraffin wax and runs up the stairs, fearing that something lurking in the dark will grab him by his shirttail and yank him down, but he escapes and goes to give the wax to Bill. 

Just a personal note here, when I initially tried to read this book some ten years ago I rolled my eyes at the conversation between the two brothers, which I remember distinctly being about buttholes, who was the biggest butthole, etc. I mean, they’re kids, it’s juvenile humor, what ya gonna do. The version I have downloaded here has the kids calling each other “a-holes”. So now I have to wonder if my version got censored somehow. Anyways. Nothing to inspire confidence in the rest of the novel like a conversation about who’s the biggest asshole between kids. 

The brothers do have an oddly tender moment, which they both note is out of character for them, with Georgie kissing Bill’s cheek goodbye and Bill telling him to be careful. It seems like they know instinctively that they’re never going to see each other again. 

Georgie runs out to play with his boat, and he chases it happily through the street until it unfortunately goes down a storm drain. Georgie tries to see if he can get it, but only sees yellow eyes staring back, until said eyes solidify as a clown. Georgie describes the clown as a cross between Bozo the Clown and Clarabell from Howdy Doody (both, for the record, are the most terrifying clowns I’ve ever seen, dear lord), but King notes that if Georgie “had been inhabiting a later year” he would have thought of Ronald McDonald first. 

Just real quick gonna throw these nightmares up on screen for y’all:

Thanks, I hate it. 

Here Pennywise introduces himself as Mr Bob Gray, also known as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, so right off the bat there’s some differences. Georgie asks himself how he could have seen yellow eyes when Pennywise’s eyes are a “bright, dancing blue” like his mother’s or Bill’s eyes. 

Like the 2017 movie, Pennywise says the storm blew him and the circus into the sewer, and asks Georgie if he can smell the circus. Georgie can indeed, but he does notice the cellar smell lurking underneath, the smell of wet and rot. 

But he ignores it. 

Instead the clown offers him a balloon and Georgie asks “do they float?” 

And the second he reaches his hand out to grab a balloon, Pennywise latches on, Georgie screams, and knows no more. 

“They float,” it growled, “they float, Georgie, and when you’re down here with me, you’ll float, too—”

It’s noted that Georgie watches the clown’s face change, and what he sees destroys his sanity “in one clawing stroke”. 

So really it’s a good thing that he dies a few moments later after It wrenches his arm off. 

Again, Georgie’s body is found within the minute by a neighbor, and other neighbors run over to see what’s going on. 

The chapter ends with a description of the paper boat floating through the sewers of Derry, as Bill’s family is delivered the news and his mother is sedated for shock in the ER, and “perhaps it reached the sea, and sails there forever, like a magic boat in a fairytale”. 

Sweet sentiment. I’m getting all choked up over here. 🙄

So I figured I’d read on to the next chapter, seeing as the first chapter is so short and so well known. 

God, I wished I had left it at one chapter. 

The next chapter is told through a series of interviews with the witness and suspects to the case of the murder of Adrian Mellon. 

It’s a fucking shitshow of a chapter.

It is DEEPLY homophobic. Every word of it. 

This is how we’re introduced to Don Hagarty, partner to Adrian and key witness to his murder: “This man—if you want to call him a man—was wearing lipstick and satin pants so tight you could almost read the wrinkles in his cock.”

COME ON, STEPHEN. 

Now. I know very very well that this book was published in 1986 and America was not kind to queer people in the eighties. I know that King was capturing that homophobia, not necessarily homophobic himself, and that his viewpoints have probably changed. 

That said, reading this chapter was like a punch in the stomach every few sentences. The cops who interrogate the men responsible for the hate crime against Adrian make it clear that they are both disgusted by the attackers and deeply homophobic themselves. They all say at some point “I don’t like fairies, I don’t care for queers, they’re hardly men” in varying forms of intensity. 

I honestly think I blacked this chapter out when I was seventeen, I don’t remember it being like this. Or maybe I didn’t care so much a decade ago, closeted and repressed, and that’s a scary realization. That your own internalized homophobia might have been so pervasive that you don’t see it in others. That it sounds reasonable when a supposedly sympathetic character says he hopes the murdering homophobes get locked up, prison raped, and get AIDS. 

Sigh.

To sum up: Adrian Mellon is attacked while out with his boyfriend, Don. A group of young men, having been teased by Adrian at the Canal Days festival (though Adrian here makes a blowjob joke, not a shitty haircut joke--he’s too good for this book really), claim that they attacked out of “civic pride” because Adrian was wearing a “I ❤️ Derry” hat. One of the attackers tells Don to get out of there, and he screams for help. The attackers push Adrian over the side of the Kissing Bridge. The attacker who saves Don, Chris, sees Pennywise, and so does Don a little bit later, and they tell the cops that interrogate them. The cops dismiss the clown, at first ostensibly because the witnesses are hysterical, but then later in the chapter it’s revealed that the police don’t want the attacker’s lawyers jumping on the clown thing to prove their clients’ innocence. So Pennywise, even having been seen by two witnesses, is left off the record entirely. 

King also reveals the deeply, deeply homophobic sentiment in the town, the violent anti-gay graffiti all over public property, at the Kissing Bridge or in the public park, the people in the town outright ignoring the attack as it’s happening, the fact that the one gay bar in town is home to some very fearful people who just want to keep their heads down. 

So yes, you can extrapolate that the homophobic stuff expressed in the book is to show that Derry is a hateful place where fear festers and so forth...

But King also goes out of his way to emasculate Don Hagarty and Adrian Mellon every chance he gets, effusing about the dramatic makeup they wear, the nail polish, the bright outfits, the campy attitudes. Adrian is described as five-foot-five and slight. Don is described as shrill and dramatic (his BOYFRIEND was just BRUTALLY MURDERED). Meanwhile the homophobes are described as looking like Bruce Springsteen. Like. 

I really feel for Don, I do, despite the book’s best attempts to make him a walking caricature, a huge gay joke. He says Derry’s like “a dead strumpet with maggots squirming out of her cooze”. He calls Derry a sewer. He’s right on both counts.

Well. On that cheerful note, time to wrap this read-through up! Tune in next time for our introduction to Stan (and probably the last time we’ll see grown-up Stan :D). 

Bye for now.