I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.

i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.

i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.

nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.

the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.

what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.

that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.

but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.

i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.

the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.

if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.

even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.

children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.

which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.

individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.

if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.

I really like your header image! Is that rewind doll homemade? (I also sew tfs with felt so it gives me life seeing other people do the same)

thank you! he was homemade, but not by me. i commissioned him from @littlefeltworld on twitter (i think they have a tumblr but i can't remember it). i don't know if they still make tf plush, but they made some very very cute ones.

Yeonjun? I'm sorry I haven't talked to you much lately! The university has taken up so much of my time and I haven't been able to see you anymore. I am really sorry!!

— @urcafe-cb (🌺 Anna)

Yeonjun: It's okay! Life can get hectic, I understand. You never have to apologise for something like that with me.

youre 23 ? you should be in the club

how do you know i'm not? i could be awkwardly standing in the corner of a club typing this as we speak.

I’m really sorry to bother you I genuinely just don’t know where to ask this and you seem pretty knowledgeable on the subject.

Ok so this is a genuine question and I’m not trying to be aggressive. I am very sorry if I come off that way as a lot of this is just what I have been taught/personal experience. I am also kind of bad at communicating my thoughts in words I’m sorry. So recently someone I follow reblogged a big answer you gave about pro shipping and it kind of taught me a lot of things. I’m currently in the process of relearning what some ppl on the internet have taught me. But I do still have personal issues. I still think any form of child porn is disgusting and really shouldn’t be spread. I see that it’s a bit less fucked up when the child is fictional but it still feels extremely fucked up and not okay to me. I still do also find issue with pedophilic ships. Fictional incest also fucks me up but I’m like “that’s fine because it isn’t real and they’re both consenting adults?” I just can’t personally deal. And I really can’t understand the labels proship and anti too. Like I used to be anti I think? But I just didn’t like the idea of fictional characters in child porn. Like I understand reading about child rape in a book to learn “this is a fucked up and bad thing that should not happen but it does and we need to acknowledge it” but I don’t like the idea of people drawing children in a sexual sense to jerk off to. Like those feel like different things to me. Just another fyi I’m very conflicted because I have been very shoved into purity culture for a while and only recently am in a transitional stage of realizing the harm it does. I think what I’m trying to say here is I’m trying to understand what I’m supposed to feel? I still for some reason can’t get behind the “it’s just fiction” on child porn. Whereas I seem to be able to be okay with pretty much everything else?I don’t know I’m sorry. I understand blocking it out which is what I have done, I think I have to come to terms with the fact that it will always exist. But I still cannot see myself being okay with it or supporting people okay with it. And when I say supporting no I don’t mean I’m going to go and harass them. I don’t like that idea I’m more the type of person to pathetically ask why if I were to interact with them haha. Speaking of harassment that has always felt icky to me. What I mean is more like just… being okay with it?

I’m sorry if this is just a jumbled mess of words. I’m really trying to figure things out here and it feels almost like a moral dilemma to me that has been going on for a while. If you see this same ask or something similar elsewhere it is probably me trying to ask for advice or help from other for some kind of peace of mind.

first off, thank you for the question. i'm always down to answer questions asked in good faith, and i'll do my best to answer yours.

there's a few angles i want to come at this from, the initial gut reaction, the difference between different portrayals of something, and the sort of "is this okay to be okay with" bit.

your initial reaction to underage ships is disgust, and honestly that's perfectly okay, there's nothing wrong with that. you seem to already get that there's a difference between something that's disgusting to you personally, and something that's morally wrong, which is something that i don't think most antis get. you're allowed to be disgusted by things, while still acknowledging that they're not actually hurting any real people, and therefore there's nothing morally wrong with them.

(as a side note, the exact definitions of anti and proship will probably vary from person to person, but in my opinion, someone who's proship is just someone who understands that harassing people over fictional things isn't okay, and that the best way to deal with things that make you uncomfortable is to curate your own experience. it doesn't have anything to do with what you personally like or dislike, just your way of dealing with it. not to say you must identify by one of those labels, i think its also totally fine to just mind your own business and do your own thing. "proship" has been around longer than the label, it used to be the default position of fandom, with people mostly abiding by SLAS (ship and let ship) and YKINMKATO (your kink is not my kink and that's okay). that is to say, i would already consider you to be proship, but you don't have to label yourself that way if it makes you uncomfortable.)

i think a potentially helpful way of viewing things might be to consider how you feel about violence depicted in media. you don't mention feeling any specific way about it, so i'm going to assume you share the popular opinion that there's nothing inherently wrong about depicting violence in media. with certain exceptions, like not showing replicable violence in children's media, people generally understand that fictional violence is fine.

in the real world, its not like violence is somehow more okay than sexual assault, both are awful things that can cause lasting trauma, but in a society where sex is generally considered more taboo, depictions of sexual assault are often seen as worse, even when there's no real backing for that as both things are equally fictional.

you mentioned that you're okay with portrayals of underage relationships in the context of dark fiction that's intended to provoke disgust or fear or another negative emotion but less so with portrayals that are intended to be erotic in nature, and while that's a perfectly fine distinction to make for your own comfort, its worth bearing in mind that different people are going to make that distinction in different places. many works, especially ones created by survivors to process their own trauma, aren't going to be that cut and dry. additionally, the authorial intentions aren't always going to line up with how the work is perceived.

at the end of the day people are going to make content that makes you uncomfortable, its the unfortunate truth of this world. you're allowed to be uncomfortable with it, you're allowed to not want anything to do with those people. by curating your own internet experience you're already doing a great job at dealing with that.

i'm not just gonna tell you that you have to be okay with sexual content of underage characters, it's something that can be deeply uncomfortable and gross for a lot of people, myself included. but it is fiction, and the creation of it isn't inherently harmful to another human being, so there's no reason it shouldn't be allowed to exist.

i hope this was helpful for you, if you have any followup questions, or there was something i didn't address well enough, please feel free to ask. and don't worry, you didn't come off as aggressive at all.

U 23 talmbout some “antis dni” ☹️

what was that? its too loud in the club, i can't hear you.

Hey, I hope you're doing good! Which Sleep Token song is currently your favorite? Any other bands you've been vibing with lately?

hi! hope you're doing good as well!

probably still euclid tbh, i heard it and i became a changed man.

ohh there's a few, molly ofgeography is always great, autoheart is another favorite of mine, and lately i've been getting into green lung too.

what about you? listening to anything new lately?

30

30: a song that reminds you of yourself

ough that's hard. if you had asked me a couple years ago the answer would have pretty easily been sudden oak death by the mountain goats. nowadays though? hm. maybe do you wish that you loved me by sleep token, or slow pony home by the weepies.

thanks you!

#11 for the music asks? 👀

11: a song that you never get tired of

augh this is gonna be so predictable but euclid by sleep token. every time i hear it its like the first time all over again. its a beautiful song.

thank you!

i'm love doll.....

hello! you are very cool. just that. have a nice day<3

that's so sweet of you, thank you. i hope you have a great day as well 💚

What the fuck is manletsexual?

i think short guys are hot

#9 for the music asks? :)

9: a song that makes you happy

oooh it's tough to choose. lately i've been super into sleep token, so anything from them makes me happy, even the sad songs lol.

but i do have one pick me up song that i listen to when i'm down sometimes, would you rather.

honorable mentions to scorpio by autoheart and granite by sleep token.

69

(For the Spotify wrapped thing)

very mature.

it's a cute song that helps me get out of a funk sometimes.

THAT PERSON FUCKING SUCKS they dont understand chromedome like i do. They dont GET HIM

anon can i kiss you on the lips

epic cringe moments from tumblr lgbts once again...just let us be queer ya bootlickers queer people often wanna fuck each other its not that deep. @ the ppl on that post please go outside and talk to a queer person irl who isnt terminally online i beg of you 😫

^^^

queer is weird. queer is messy and strange and beautiful, and defies any attempt to be forced into boxes. we, as a community, found labels and gave them meaning, and those labels can be empowering to people, and that's great! but they're not boxes. they're starting points, or suggestions. if we try to rigidly enforce what we think those words should mean, and try to force people to only identify in certain ways that make sense to us as individuals, how are we different from the bigots? how is that any different from a nonbinary person being told that their gender is made up, or a bi person being told to pick a side?

as individuals we can't hope to fully grasp the complexities of the entire queer community. there are gender identities, and sexualities entirely beyond our scope of cultural understanding, and that's okay! i don't need to understand every culture specific gender, or why someone uses that label for their sexuality instead of another one, i just need to treat them with respect, and know that even if i don't get it, they do, and they have a better understanding of themselves than i ever will.

when you meet someone who doesn't fit with your understanding of how queer labels work, you have two choices. you can tear them down and try to make them fit into boxes you've constructed, and be no different from every homophobe that tries to do the same thing, or you can just chill the fuck out and leave them be, and maybe you'll learn something about the queer community that you didn't know before, hell, you might even learn something new about yourself.

i just don't understand why people go out of their way to do all of this bullshit when it's so much better, and genuinely easier, just to live and let live.